Original subtitles

Mmm. You look pretty.

|don't worry... I'll throw ya back once I'm done with ya.

Ooh! Another fish! Maybe we can have a menage a� trout.

Mr. Pickles!

Mr. Pickles!

There you are! Good boy!

I'm so excited to go camping! I hope I can catch an animal and

- bring it home. - Mr. Pickles is evil.

We shouldn't be bringing him with us.

Hey!

Dad! Be more careful with that thing.

Cheeseman...

Tommy, the secret to

successful camping is to have a list of activities.

Number 1... set up a tent. Ahhh.

Finally, a little peace and...

I'm not a wifebeater, but I'd hit that!

- Shut up, Brett! - Oh! Too many bugs!

- Camping makes me horny. - Whatever.

- I don't belong here. - Is someone gonna help me?

- Come on! - Party!

Don't party too much. You want to stay sharp in case

- the cheeseman comes for ya. - Come on.

- That's just an urban legend. - What's a cheeseman?

20 years ago, a group of kids camped here.

- Cheeseman... - One of them really hated cheese.

Hey, this has cheese on it!

I hate cheese!

Why do you hate cheese so much, cheeseman?

- That's not my name! - Cheeseman!

- Cheeseman! Cheeseman! - They threw slices of American

- cheese at him... - Let's throw American cheese at him.

...knocking him into the fire.

No!

The cheese melted into his skin.

He ran into the lake, never to be seen again.

- I hate cheese! - Some say he still lurks in

these woods, taking revenge on campers.

So if you see a man with cheese for skin, it could be...

- The cheeseman! - Aaaaaaaaah!

- You guys are jerks. - It's just a story

kids use to scare each other.

Man, what am I doing here? Everybody knows in these

situations, the black guy always dies first!

I'm gonna go into those creepy woods and think about ways to stay safe.

Cheeseman...

Okay, let's find some firewood.

Oh! Some berries! One of the things on my list is

- "find plants you can eat." - Those berries are poison.

And I know something else you don't know!

- Where'd he go? - Come on, Goodmans.

- Let's... - You don't know the terrible

thing I know! Only I know!

You know something about Mr. Pickles? Aah!

Only I know the real truth!

- Come on, grandpa! - Uh, I'll catch up.

- Cheeseman... - Who keeps saying "cheeseman"?

Cheeseman...

Oh, no! It's the cheeseman!

- Hi, mister! - Damn!

Have you seen any animals running around?

You can't be running around here looking like cheese!

You're funny.

- Cheeseman... - Who whispering?

Look! A frog!

Damn! You scared the shi... aah! Aah!

- Come here, froggy! - Watch it, you dickhole!

- This way, Tommy! - Bye!

Aah! Take me to the crapper! Now!

Okay. It's over that way, past the

tree with that pentagram carved into it.

I'll be done in a minute. Then you can help me wipe.

All right. Well, I'll be in that creepy

barn over there. Holler when you need me.

- Cheeseman... - Hmm.

Look at all these weapons. Seems like a safe place to take a nap.

- Dad, is this firewood? - Looks like it was

hit by lightning. Remember, never stand next to a

tree during a lightning storm. The tree could fall on you.

You sure know a lot about the outdoors!

Shh. Quiet. Look over here.

Careful, honey. She's feeding.

Ah, the circle of life.

Sir, space Nazis are trying to blow up Mars!

Sounds like a job for astronaut dolphin detective.

But, sir, he was arrested for flashing those space kids.

Get him out.

- Man, this show blows my mind! - Great.

- Wanna have sex? - Yeah, bro.

Hey, look, everybody... some fruit.

That's not fruit. It's a spider-egg sac!

They're crawling into my eyes!

Oh! Possums! Aaaaaaaaaaaaah!

- Come here, kitty! - Cheeseman...

Here, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty!

- Cheeseman! - Whoa!

Ah! Ha ha! He thought I was the cheeseman!

What a chump! Yay!

There you are, boy. Come on!

- Cheeseman... - Oh! Ow!

Now, this lavender will help with all your bites.

- It will reduce swelling. - Honey, really, I'm fine.

Let's head back to camp.

Oh, uh... Actually, let's go another way.

I Cheeseman...

Ew! Get out of here, you stupid ducks!

Cheeseman...

Cheeseman!

I Gotcha!

You scared me, Brett!

Let's make sex.

There you are! I've been looking for...

The cheeseman is real!

- Did you see that?! - Yes.

We have to go tell the sheriff!

Okay, I'll tell him.

This is totally different from the map.

- No, look. We're right here. - Oh.

You, uh... You passed the test. Heh.

Hey, Tommy, check off "read a map correctly."

- But there isn't a... - Now, if you'll just

follow me... ow! Gosh!

Oh, gosh!

Astronaut dolphin detective has defeated the space Nazis,

but now a stripper is giving birth to his baby.

Oh, my God!

- He just ate the baby! - He may be a bad father, but

he's the best detective we've got.

All anyone ever cares about is sex.

- Talk dirty to me. - Toilet bowls have 3.2 million

- bacteria per square inch. - Huh?

Breaking news... a severe thunderstorm is heading our way.

And last night, I had sex with this girl.

You are a slut.

The cheeseman killed Veronica!

And... I'm done. Off to the showers.

No! The cheeseman...

- Cheeseman... - Here, honey.

This should take pressure off your leg.

No, thanks, honey. Come on, Tommy.

How 'bout I show you how to cross a riverrrrrrrrr?!

See you back at camp!

A storm's coming!

- Get under the tree! - But dad said it was

- dangerous during a lightning... - Your dad isn't

right about everything!

See! Dad was right!

Sheriff! There's been a murder at the

campground, and this time, I have a witness!

Tell him what you saw at the lake.

- I saw a naked girl. - What?!

- Tell him the other thing! - I can't tell anybody.

Go on. Nobody keeps a secret from a sheriff.

Isn't that right, Abigail?

- That's right, sheriff. - Tell him!

Okay. The truth is...

- I'm a virgin. - What?!

Now you know the truth!

There's been a murder!

It was Mr. Pi...

Huh? Oh! Ohhhhhhhh!

I can't lift it! I'll take dad's river shortcut

- to get help back at camp. - It's not a shortcut!

Now, how do you swim?!

Cheeseman...

- Oh, and hi. - Cheeseman!

- Mom! Help! - I'll get you out!

No!

- Let go of my son, you murderer! - I was trying to save him!

Don't believe everything you he-e-e-e-e-e-e-ar!

Just give me your hand!

Okay. Whoaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

Mr. Pickles. Hmm.

This looks like the perfect situation for observation.

Hey! What are you doing?!

Come on. I'm just looking for a little

peace... of ass.

Oh! What the... oh, no! Back hair!

Can't back out now. You're doin' this.

What are you doing, man?! Stop it!

Aah! Oh, my go... aah!

The cheeseman is rea... ugh!

- Mr. Pickles. - Aah! He's here!

Aaaaaaaah! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaah! Oh!

The secret's out!

Where is everybody?

- The cheeseman was just here! - We should split up, then!

No! Hey!

- Wait... you can walk? - Yeah. I'm just really lazy.

Aah! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

Aah! My head hurts!

|No! N-o-o-o-o-o-o!

Ugh! Owwwwwwww!

Mr. Pickles.

Huh?! It's the cheeseman!

I Di-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-e!

Hey! No! No, no, no!

- Stop right there, cheeseman! - Wha... I'm not the cheeseman!

- Ohhhh. - It was Mr. Pickles!

I have a witness!

I Good boy, Mr. Pickles.

Oh, come on!

Hey, dad!

- Look what I caught! - Well, that's... ooh.

- This is the cheeseman. - Hey. How's it going?

- Can I keep him? - I'll kill you!

Got it!

Little mosquito on your shoulder, dear.

What would I do without you, honey?

Sorry, folks. Campground's closed.

I Well, well.

The black guy doesn't die. Wait! These are poisonous!

You can't get me like that. Aah!

Ha ha! I'm-a live forever!

Let's throw american cheese at him!

Oh, no! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

This is some bullsh...

Only one more thing on our list... "see a shooting star."

You know, I just want to

thank you people for accepting me for who I am.

It gets so lonely in the woods. What a nightmare, you know?

Dinner's ready.

Hey, you dumb bitch! I hate cheese!

- Oh, my! - Uh... Well, uh...

You know what? I had a nice time today.

- How 'bout you, Tommy? - I caught a cheeseman

and a fish. Hey? Where is my fish?

Where's the cheeseman?

Oh! Oh, yeah!

Oh, you naughty, little fish! Huh?

I Mr...