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1
00:00:28,590 --> 00:00:31,970
Our dad would never do that with a man
or a stripper.
2
00:00:32,450 --> 00:00:38,150
So, tell me more about this happy
sandwich. What exactly are the
3
00:00:38,150 --> 00:00:45,030
it like thick, warm beef slices pressed
up into red and slightly
4
00:00:45,030 --> 00:00:46,030
rose black?
5
00:00:46,350 --> 00:00:51,030
Sadly, kids, before I get to the
happiest part of the sandwich, I still
6
00:00:51,030 --> 00:00:52,610
lot of shit to eat.
7
00:00:52,910 --> 00:00:56,470
Because that was Quinn's plan all along.
8
00:00:58,280 --> 00:01:00,660
Charity. No, no, chast, chast.
9
00:01:01,440 --> 00:01:02,660
Don't claim it.
10
00:01:03,760 --> 00:01:05,880
No, no. Oh, oh, oh, oh.
11
00:01:06,400 --> 00:01:10,220
Sparkle. Honey, you were just, like,
listing the names of my stripper
12
00:01:11,020 --> 00:01:14,960
What are you talking about? I know.
Like, if you want to give me some early
13
00:01:14,960 --> 00:01:17,100
Christmas presents, you can give me more
rounds, too.
14
00:01:17,700 --> 00:01:21,100
I didn't know I was listing names for
our stripper threesome.
15
00:01:21,400 --> 00:01:22,860
You know, the happy sandwich?
16
00:01:23,160 --> 00:01:26,900
You promised me the threesome. We talked
about this.
17
00:01:27,960 --> 00:01:30,820
Darling, I didn't say anything about a
stripper sandwich.
18
00:01:31,340 --> 00:01:36,020
If you let me fuck a guy in front of
you, I'd let you fuck a guy in front of
19
00:01:36,360 --> 00:01:37,680
Right, so what's the problem?
20
00:01:38,000 --> 00:01:41,560
Well, I'm just going to pimp you out
with my co -workers and strip of
21
00:01:41,920 --> 00:01:42,920
What?
22
00:01:42,960 --> 00:01:44,400
Pimping? No.
23
00:01:44,720 --> 00:01:49,140
We talked about this. We agreed on this.
It's what we want.
24
00:01:49,480 --> 00:01:53,540
Yeah, but darling, you are not looking
for a stripper.
25
00:01:53,960 --> 00:01:55,460
You're looking for a unicorn.
26
00:01:57,200 --> 00:01:58,200
A unicorn?
27
00:01:58,340 --> 00:02:02,620
Yes. It's a female. She's single and
bisexual. And she's looking forward to
28
00:02:02,620 --> 00:02:05,800
copulate with a heterosexual couple like
us.
29
00:02:06,440 --> 00:02:11,740
Without, you know, doing any troubles to
relationships or the independent. It's
30
00:02:11,740 --> 00:02:12,740
perfect.
31
00:02:13,680 --> 00:02:18,240
Well, I asked Ted, and Ted said he was
down. So how much hunting can there be?
32
00:02:18,460 --> 00:02:23,180
Well, darling, talk to you. You know,
most of the women will just not jump in
33
00:02:23,180 --> 00:02:24,720
some relationship and...
34
00:02:25,080 --> 00:02:27,700
you know, risk any troubles or something
like that. Right.
35
00:02:28,200 --> 00:02:30,340
That's why you can ask. Oh, no.
36
00:02:30,560 --> 00:02:33,240
I'm not going to creep out my cover
record.
37
00:02:33,740 --> 00:02:39,920
So, if you'd like to eat a happy
sandwich, you will have to
38
00:02:39,920 --> 00:02:43,560
pay for it with your own plastic card.
39
00:02:44,100 --> 00:02:45,220
Oh, you tricked me.
40
00:02:45,440 --> 00:02:46,520
No, no, no, no, no.
41
00:02:46,840 --> 00:02:48,020
Unless you could have...
42
00:03:03,530 --> 00:03:04,530
I'm right here.
43
00:03:05,590 --> 00:03:07,810
Wow, she totally played you.
44
00:03:08,570 --> 00:03:09,850
Shivers got hustling.
45
00:03:10,550 --> 00:03:15,710
Please, like Quinn said, if I found the
unicorn, the devil's threesome wouldn't
46
00:03:15,710 --> 00:03:16,710
count as a trick.
47
00:03:16,990 --> 00:03:18,950
And I knew just where to hunt.
48
00:03:19,530 --> 00:03:22,370
I have no idea where to find a unicorn.
49
00:03:22,590 --> 00:03:26,050
Quinn basically banned me from her strip
club. Try the bus stop.
50
00:03:26,270 --> 00:03:28,110
Bet girls there would bang you for
money.
51
00:03:28,750 --> 00:03:31,650
There is no glory in picking up a
wounded animal.
52
00:03:31,910 --> 00:03:33,370
And besides, I don't need money.
53
00:03:34,430 --> 00:03:35,530
I've got the playbook.
54
00:03:36,150 --> 00:03:39,550
Unicorn hunting isn't like finding the
saddest puppy at the pound, Barney.
55
00:03:39,790 --> 00:03:43,110
You're going to need more than your
playbook. What do you know about unicorn
56
00:03:43,110 --> 00:03:45,590
hunting? You picked up Marshall at a
glue factory.
57
00:03:45,830 --> 00:03:48,690
Hey, I'm with Marshall by choice, not
necessity.
58
00:03:49,230 --> 00:03:50,230
Yeah, yeah.
59
00:03:50,590 --> 00:03:52,950
Lily could pound any pussy in this
joint. Yeah.
60
00:03:53,250 --> 00:03:54,250
You two are cute.
61
00:03:54,410 --> 00:03:55,410
Very cute.
62
00:03:55,430 --> 00:03:56,388
Oh, yeah?
63
00:03:56,390 --> 00:03:57,390
Do you know what?
64
00:03:58,000 --> 00:03:59,560
I think we should make this personal.
65
00:03:59,920 --> 00:04:01,600
What? What do you propose?
66
00:04:02,900 --> 00:04:06,000
First one to find a unicorn gets five
slaps. What?
67
00:04:06,400 --> 00:04:07,400
You're wrong, little girl.
68
00:04:07,660 --> 00:04:08,660
Suck it, pony boy.
69
00:04:08,680 --> 00:04:09,680
Come on, Marshall.
70
00:04:10,300 --> 00:04:11,300
Without Marshall.
71
00:04:11,420 --> 00:04:12,520
Oh, he was just going to slip out.
72
00:04:15,460 --> 00:04:16,500
What's your play match stick?
73
00:04:17,140 --> 00:04:20,000
Just a little thumbing. I like to call
the slip and slide.
74
00:04:20,620 --> 00:04:22,400
Slip and slide. That's not in the
playbook.
75
00:04:24,760 --> 00:04:26,140
You have a really nice shirt.
76
00:04:27,080 --> 00:04:31,040
Thank you. You know, I've only noticed
my topic gets unbuttoned. It's really
77
00:04:31,040 --> 00:04:32,900
nice to get a meaningful compliment for
once.
78
00:04:33,180 --> 00:04:35,480
I'm sure it is. Oh, my gosh.
79
00:04:35,700 --> 00:04:37,120
I'm so sorry.
80
00:04:37,520 --> 00:04:38,840
I wish it was nice.
81
00:04:39,300 --> 00:04:41,400
Oh, man, I think you were flirting with
me.
82
00:04:42,140 --> 00:04:44,080
You know what? I think this is so true.
83
00:04:45,040 --> 00:04:47,320
Oh, my gosh. You have really nice
breasts.
84
00:04:48,440 --> 00:04:50,740
Only a compliment unless you've seen a
lot.
85
00:04:51,060 --> 00:04:54,940
Well, I haven't, but my boyfriend
describes them all the time.
86
00:04:55,830 --> 00:04:57,730
Some people have no social skills.
87
00:04:58,390 --> 00:04:59,790
Kicking your tits out of the bar?
88
00:05:00,490 --> 00:05:01,890
What's next, breastfeeding?
89
00:05:06,370 --> 00:05:08,950
My new dress! I'm so sorry.
90
00:05:09,270 --> 00:05:12,570
I'm so sorry. I think this is sick,
Dennis. You creep!
91
00:05:14,630 --> 00:05:15,630
What's going on here?
92
00:05:16,110 --> 00:05:17,110
Any burping, eh?
93
00:05:18,850 --> 00:05:21,970
Try another lame -ass move like that
again and you won't have a mouth to kiss
94
00:05:21,970 --> 00:05:22,970
your mother.
95
00:05:23,810 --> 00:05:24,810
What is this?
96
00:05:27,190 --> 00:05:30,150
When you call me a sorry, tell him I've
taken this right sign.
97
00:05:30,350 --> 00:05:32,690
He was bothering me. Guys, guys.
98
00:05:35,410 --> 00:05:38,050
God, some men just can't behave.
99
00:05:41,830 --> 00:05:46,330
What I love about a man in a
relationship, he really knows how to
100
00:05:47,130 --> 00:05:50,350
And the beautiful woman, she's the icing
on the cake.
101
00:05:51,270 --> 00:05:53,670
Well, I've never been with a woman
before.
102
00:05:54,610 --> 00:05:55,610
Don't worry.
103
00:05:55,920 --> 00:05:56,820
I'll show you everything
104
00:05:56,820 --> 00:06:12,920
These
105
00:06:12,920 --> 00:06:20,140
are
106
00:06:20,140 --> 00:06:21,140
amazing
107
00:07:24,970 --> 00:07:25,970
Thank you.
108
00:08:26,620 --> 00:08:28,020
Come here.
109
00:08:53,520 --> 00:08:55,060
I love you.
110
00:15:40,080 --> 00:15:41,080
So much energy.
111
00:15:42,240 --> 00:15:43,240
Oh, shit.
112
00:15:43,600 --> 00:15:44,660
Oh, my God.
113
00:33:12,880 --> 00:33:13,880
Oh, yeah, Barney?
114
00:33:14,660 --> 00:33:15,660
Oh, yeah.
115
00:33:15,880 --> 00:33:17,100
He's a general nuisance.
116
00:33:18,020 --> 00:33:19,020
General nuisance.
117
00:33:23,240 --> 00:33:25,520
Uh, three martinis, please, kind sir.
118
00:33:26,180 --> 00:33:27,180
Make that four.
119
00:33:27,240 --> 00:33:29,180
One for each press that I've seen today.
120
00:33:30,040 --> 00:33:31,040
Lily.
121
00:33:31,460 --> 00:33:34,160
What? I am all about double fisting.
122
00:33:37,300 --> 00:33:38,300
Cheers, squad.
123
00:33:39,980 --> 00:33:42,080
Lily, this is great.
124
00:33:42,540 --> 00:33:47,720
And you guys are a super sexy couple,
but now that I've had a man and a woman
125
00:33:47,720 --> 00:33:49,780
the same time, I don't think I'm a
unicorn.
126
00:33:50,100 --> 00:33:51,880
I think I'm just a confused lesbian.
127
00:33:52,260 --> 00:33:55,440
Uh, a confused lesbian who sucks dick
like spaghetti?
128
00:33:56,360 --> 00:33:57,840
It's not about your dick, Marshall.
129
00:33:58,300 --> 00:34:01,080
It's about another woman, one I think
I'm in love with.
130
00:34:02,080 --> 00:34:03,500
It was great.
131
00:34:16,010 --> 00:34:17,190
Why are we celebrating?
132
00:34:17,409 --> 00:34:18,949
We lost the unicorn.
133
00:34:19,630 --> 00:34:21,570
Because I'm so good in bed.
134
00:34:21,790 --> 00:34:23,810
I turned the unicorn gay.
135
00:34:24,190 --> 00:34:25,530
A gay unicorn.
136
00:34:29,230 --> 00:34:30,230
Hi, guys.
137
00:34:31,350 --> 00:34:32,770
What are we celebrating?
138
00:34:33,429 --> 00:34:34,949
My sexual prowess.
139
00:34:35,690 --> 00:34:39,830
Did I ever tell you your boobs are like
two really exquisite olives?
140
00:34:40,690 --> 00:34:41,730
Come on.
141
00:34:42,429 --> 00:34:44,070
She's had too many olives.
142
00:34:45,469 --> 00:34:49,290
My dad always said, martinis are like
breasts.
143
00:34:50,290 --> 00:34:53,050
One is not enough, but three is too
many.
144
00:34:54,449 --> 00:34:57,170
That's enough olives and threesomes for
you today, babe.
145
00:34:57,890 --> 00:34:59,050
Wait, threesomes?
146
00:34:59,950 --> 00:35:01,770
What? What are you talking about?
147
00:35:02,670 --> 00:35:04,090
Come on, Marshall.
148
00:35:04,770 --> 00:35:06,610
We have Barney's playbook now.
149
00:35:06,970 --> 00:35:09,270
Think of all the unicorns we could be
hunting.
150
00:35:09,890 --> 00:35:11,350
We could make them extinct.
151
00:35:14,600 --> 00:35:18,500
I thought Barney a playbook without even
asking me if I'm interested.
152
00:35:20,700 --> 00:35:22,900
You're not a unicorn, Robin.
153
00:35:23,980 --> 00:35:24,980
You're a beaver.
154
00:35:26,800 --> 00:35:31,420
A single straight beaver who wants
attention.
155
00:35:34,620 --> 00:35:35,680
I'm a unicorn.
156
00:35:35,880 --> 00:35:37,000
I'm not a beaver.
157
00:35:37,600 --> 00:35:39,100
I'm too adventurous for that.
158
00:35:40,500 --> 00:35:41,940
Yeah, sure. Look.
159
00:35:44,140 --> 00:35:45,200
Return this to Barney.
160
00:35:46,700 --> 00:35:51,180
I can't believe I'm saying this, but
it's only faith in his sadly competent
161
00:35:51,180 --> 00:35:52,180
hand.
162
00:35:54,380 --> 00:35:58,320
I'm going to take Lily home before she
tries to fuck that bar stool.
163
00:35:58,780 --> 00:36:00,680
Come on. Why would you do that?
164
00:36:01,280 --> 00:36:02,280
Why, Lily?
165
00:36:05,300 --> 00:36:06,300
Hey,
166
00:36:08,920 --> 00:36:10,600
I'm just going to shame you.
167
00:36:11,000 --> 00:36:12,000
Nice beat.
168
00:36:12,240 --> 00:36:13,240
I'm a unicorn.
169
00:36:13,770 --> 00:36:14,770
Get the fuck out of here!
170
00:36:17,030 --> 00:36:18,030
Fever?
11779
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