Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:10,380 --> 00:00:11,740
I remember seeing, like, the wall.
2
00:00:12,000 --> 00:00:13,620
I just didn't know what was on the other
side.
3
00:00:14,000 --> 00:00:15,300
That was the scary bit.
4
00:00:15,560 --> 00:00:17,000
I knew I could be killed at any minute.
5
00:00:19,460 --> 00:00:23,340
Looking back, I had no idea what I
wanted to do with myself.
6
00:00:23,940 --> 00:00:27,440
But in Thailand, it's literally party
time on steroids.
7
00:00:29,000 --> 00:00:34,020
It feels like you are in control, but
ice was controlling me.
8
00:00:35,360 --> 00:00:38,600
I had a split second, you know, to make
my mind up as to what I was going to do.
9
00:00:41,930 --> 00:00:43,770
It is dangerous to think you're
invincible.
10
00:01:04,830 --> 00:01:07,790
In 2010, I was 21 living in South
London.
11
00:01:08,050 --> 00:01:10,390
I had no aim as to where I wanted to
get.
12
00:01:11,090 --> 00:01:14,810
where I wanted to be in life. I felt
very lost.
13
00:01:15,950 --> 00:01:19,830
I had no idea as to what I wanted to do
with myself.
14
00:01:20,730 --> 00:01:23,270
I couldn't hold a job down. I was
drinking.
15
00:01:23,630 --> 00:01:25,590
I was also lacking a role model.
16
00:01:28,250 --> 00:01:33,090
When I was eight, my mum and dad
separated, and that had quite a big
17
00:01:33,090 --> 00:01:34,090
me.
18
00:01:36,570 --> 00:01:39,210
My dad actually ended up moving to
Thailand, which...
19
00:01:39,680 --> 00:01:44,240
due to how close we were, it just
completely broke me, to be honest.
20
00:01:45,160 --> 00:01:48,880
He was sort of like, you know, my hero,
if you like.
21
00:01:49,640 --> 00:01:53,980
I wanted him around, and he wasn't
there, you know what I mean, when I
22
00:01:53,980 --> 00:01:56,460
him, especially the bond and the
closeness we had.
23
00:01:56,780 --> 00:01:58,520
So I was angry at him for that.
24
00:01:58,840 --> 00:02:03,000
It caused me to go off rails a little
bit, just getting up to stuff that I
25
00:02:03,000 --> 00:02:04,260
shouldn't be at that age.
26
00:02:08,019 --> 00:02:14,100
And then one day, I got a call from my
dad asking me, how would you feel about
27
00:02:14,100 --> 00:02:16,140
coming over to Thailand and working in
my bar?
28
00:02:16,740 --> 00:02:21,460
You know, I had a complete rush with my
whole body. I was like, yeah, 100%. I
29
00:02:21,460 --> 00:02:25,900
could actually finally go and be with my
dad and, you know, reunite again. It
30
00:02:25,900 --> 00:02:28,140
was just an amazing feeling, to be
honest.
31
00:02:28,960 --> 00:02:33,120
It was a chance to rebuild our
relationship and, you know, make up on a
32
00:02:33,120 --> 00:02:34,120
lost time.
33
00:02:34,280 --> 00:02:38,700
For the first time in a while, I knew
something that I definitely wanted to
34
00:02:38,940 --> 00:02:41,320
And that was to go and see my dad and be
with him in Thailand.
35
00:02:48,140 --> 00:02:51,820
So when I first landed in Bangkok, the
heat just hit me.
36
00:02:53,280 --> 00:02:55,180
I've never been so far away from home.
37
00:02:55,500 --> 00:02:58,320
I've been to Europe, but this was
completely different.
38
00:03:01,160 --> 00:03:02,160
Jumped in the taxi.
39
00:03:02,510 --> 00:03:05,150
to Pattaya, which is where my dad's bar
was, right by the coast.
40
00:03:10,330 --> 00:03:15,170
No comparison to South London. I mean, I
was used to, like, chicken nuggets or
41
00:03:15,170 --> 00:03:18,690
whatever, and then get over there and
they've got these different bugs they're
42
00:03:18,690 --> 00:03:19,690
cooking.
43
00:03:19,870 --> 00:03:24,430
It was so much to take in in such a
short space of time.
44
00:03:31,050 --> 00:03:32,990
The cab stopped right outside my dad's
bar.
45
00:03:35,250 --> 00:03:36,370
And then I saw my dad.
46
00:03:38,050 --> 00:03:40,670
Then that was it.
47
00:03:43,170 --> 00:03:46,370
It was just the best thing in the world,
just to give my dad a real hug.
48
00:03:48,790 --> 00:03:52,730
I just felt like, this is it now, I'm
going to be here for a long time, and
49
00:03:52,730 --> 00:03:53,730
going to be here with my dad.
50
00:03:57,870 --> 00:03:58,870
That night...
51
00:03:58,910 --> 00:04:00,850
He sort of pulled me to the side to have
a conversation.
52
00:04:01,690 --> 00:04:05,770
Listen, Rhys. And he just said that...
There's criminals from all sorts of
53
00:04:05,770 --> 00:04:07,970
backgrounds. And a lot of them drink
here in my bar.
54
00:04:08,250 --> 00:04:10,730
Which is fine. Because they've got a lot
of money.
55
00:04:11,610 --> 00:04:13,930
He'd sort of say, look, see that person
there, you know?
56
00:04:14,230 --> 00:04:16,029
He used to sell a lot of drugs back
home.
57
00:04:16,350 --> 00:04:20,510
Well, it seems like crime pays over
here. He just said to me, do not get
58
00:04:20,510 --> 00:04:22,450
involved with those dealers of drugs in
this country.
59
00:04:22,730 --> 00:04:26,370
You can get life for drugs in Thailand.
If only I'd listened to my dad.
60
00:04:27,760 --> 00:04:30,080
I would have saved myself from a world
of pain.
61
00:04:32,380 --> 00:04:35,540
I was working shifts every day. I was a
bit like the centre of attention.
62
00:04:35,860 --> 00:04:37,440
I think because I was the boss's son.
63
00:04:37,960 --> 00:04:38,960
I loved that.
64
00:04:39,560 --> 00:04:43,020
I was attracting more youngsters to the
bar and, you know, they'd be on the
65
00:04:43,020 --> 00:04:44,020
shot.
66
00:04:45,500 --> 00:04:46,500
Everything was great.
67
00:04:47,240 --> 00:04:48,240
Hey,
68
00:04:53,060 --> 00:04:54,680
who are you?
69
00:04:57,060 --> 00:05:00,480
It was this one day that this girl May
sort of introduced herself.
70
00:05:01,620 --> 00:05:02,820
Real bubbly character.
71
00:05:05,560 --> 00:05:09,660
I think she wanted to be that sort of
older sister figure and guide me a bit.
72
00:05:09,660 --> 00:05:10,660
was like, yeah, brilliant.
73
00:05:10,720 --> 00:05:12,660
I couldn't wait to get stuck into it, to
be honest.
74
00:05:15,000 --> 00:05:18,480
It's literally like party time on
steroids, you know. There's just so many
75
00:05:18,680 --> 00:05:20,880
clubs and go -go bars packed in a small
area.
76
00:05:21,240 --> 00:05:23,000
You just don't know where to look.
77
00:05:28,080 --> 00:05:29,620
I was like a kid in a candy shop.
78
00:05:31,460 --> 00:05:37,940
One of these expats said to me,
surrounded by beautiful women, got drugs
79
00:05:37,940 --> 00:05:38,940
want it.
80
00:05:39,160 --> 00:05:41,560
And then he said, do you want to go and
have a line in the toilet?
81
00:05:50,720 --> 00:05:55,040
Deep down I was like, oh my God, I've
never done anything like that before.
82
00:05:56,720 --> 00:06:00,560
I did notice that this expat guy would
have nice clothes, thousands of pounds
83
00:06:00,560 --> 00:06:02,180
off of jewellery. He was a dealer.
84
00:06:03,800 --> 00:06:06,120
And I thought, you know, I wouldn't
mind, you know, a piece of that.
85
00:06:11,620 --> 00:06:16,560
My dad was paying me about £150 a week,
so it wasn't like a lifestyle that these
86
00:06:16,560 --> 00:06:17,560
expats was living.
87
00:06:17,840 --> 00:06:19,580
I think that's what interested me a bit
more.
88
00:06:20,480 --> 00:06:24,700
So, despite the warning that my dad gave
me, I decided to start selling cokes.
89
00:06:25,040 --> 00:06:26,720
behind my dad's back, in his bath.
90
00:06:29,720 --> 00:06:32,400
I bought, like, a few grams from this
expat.
91
00:06:32,960 --> 00:06:36,520
I just thought, as long as I'm careful,
I don't see any reason why I wouldn't
92
00:06:36,520 --> 00:06:37,520
get caught.
93
00:06:39,140 --> 00:06:43,440
I was very cautious because I knew what
my dad would be like if he found out.
94
00:06:43,700 --> 00:06:45,460
And I was like, this is easy.
95
00:06:45,740 --> 00:06:47,520
I couldn't resist that forbidden fruit.
96
00:06:48,080 --> 00:06:52,340
At no point did I think that it would
cause any harm or, you know...
97
00:06:52,910 --> 00:06:54,470
any hurt to any of my family.
98
00:06:55,410 --> 00:06:59,890
I managed to get away with it for a
while.
99
00:07:02,890 --> 00:07:08,850
But one day... That basically busted me.
100
00:07:10,410 --> 00:07:13,910
He said to me, like, what do you think
you're playing at, doing this in my bar?
101
00:07:14,130 --> 00:07:17,470
It's taken me years to get to where I am
now, and I don't want you completely
102
00:07:17,470 --> 00:07:19,390
wrecking that. I'm booking you a flight
for tomorrow.
103
00:07:20,150 --> 00:07:21,270
You're going, mate, and that's it.
104
00:07:21,870 --> 00:07:24,690
I know, you know, my heart's just sunk,
and I'm like, oh, my God.
105
00:07:25,590 --> 00:07:27,690
A lot of that anger was coming out at
that point, yeah.
106
00:07:28,050 --> 00:07:31,930
I was thinking, you haven't been around
for so many years, but yet you're now
107
00:07:31,930 --> 00:07:33,310
telling me what I can and can't do.
108
00:07:33,630 --> 00:07:35,390
So I said, you can't make me go home.
109
00:07:35,790 --> 00:07:39,210
I'll stay here. So I remember getting my
stuff together, and I just left.
110
00:07:41,230 --> 00:07:43,330
It wasn't even a goodbye.
111
00:07:43,730 --> 00:07:46,310
I knew I was going to prove to myself
that I didn't need him.
112
00:07:57,680 --> 00:08:01,760
When I moved out of my dad, the person I
turned to was May.
113
00:08:01,980 --> 00:08:03,300
What are you doing here?
114
00:08:04,020 --> 00:08:05,020
Come on in.
115
00:08:05,260 --> 00:08:09,620
I lost my job at the bar, which is
obviously my main source of income, so I
116
00:08:09,620 --> 00:08:12,860
needed to find something else to do. I
am not going back to London.
117
00:08:14,000 --> 00:08:15,140
Take this. Sit down.
118
00:08:16,120 --> 00:08:18,780
She was like, look, I could set you up a
bit.
119
00:08:20,040 --> 00:08:21,040
Doing what?
120
00:08:21,800 --> 00:08:22,719
Selling ice.
121
00:08:22,720 --> 00:08:25,200
Selling crystal meth, which they call
ice over there.
122
00:08:25,530 --> 00:08:26,930
All the girls are working in the club.
123
00:08:27,170 --> 00:08:30,950
May told me working girls take meth to
stay awake and take the pain away.
124
00:08:31,370 --> 00:08:35,070
And I can guarantee you... You're pretty
safe to go and sell in the strip clubs
125
00:08:35,070 --> 00:08:37,390
and stuff because they'd paid off the
police.
126
00:08:37,970 --> 00:08:43,250
She said you could buy a gram of crystal
meth for about 1 ,500 baht and we'd go
127
00:08:43,250 --> 00:08:45,070
and sell it on for 3 ,500 baht.
128
00:08:45,430 --> 00:08:49,230
Might be looking at around, you know, 8
,000 pounds that you'd get back from
129
00:08:49,230 --> 00:08:51,510
that. Quite a bit more than what I was
getting from the coat.
130
00:08:52,550 --> 00:08:53,550
Look at you.
131
00:08:53,570 --> 00:08:54,570
Are you in?
132
00:08:55,240 --> 00:08:58,980
Me and May, we'd known each other for a
fair amount of time now, so I did trust
133
00:08:58,980 --> 00:08:59,599
her, yeah.
134
00:08:59,600 --> 00:09:00,840
I was like, yeah, let's do it.
135
00:09:01,360 --> 00:09:03,480
She said, we have to go to Bangkok then.
136
00:09:06,040 --> 00:09:08,500
It's a big step up to, you know, what I
was doing.
137
00:09:08,740 --> 00:09:11,620
If I did get a call, I was going to be
in serious trouble.
138
00:09:12,300 --> 00:09:15,940
I knew that if it's a certain amount in
Thailand, you can get life in the death
139
00:09:15,940 --> 00:09:16,940
penalty.
140
00:09:19,480 --> 00:09:23,580
As we drove into Bangkok, I'm already
nervous. I haven't even got the stuff
141
00:09:23,580 --> 00:09:25,780
me. We're going down these little back
streets.
142
00:09:26,060 --> 00:09:28,280
It's getting more and more seedy, the
places we're going.
143
00:09:29,860 --> 00:09:34,880
And then we approach this small hotel
and Mae said, give me your money and
144
00:09:34,880 --> 00:09:35,880
go and do the deal now.
145
00:09:37,580 --> 00:09:42,160
And off she went.
146
00:09:44,140 --> 00:09:45,740
I just see her go into the hotel.
147
00:09:49,960 --> 00:09:52,120
And I was waiting quite some time.
148
00:09:52,919 --> 00:09:55,080
I think, you know, about an hour went
past.
149
00:09:56,980 --> 00:09:59,260
And in that hour, you know, I'm getting
more and more anxious.
150
00:10:00,300 --> 00:10:02,120
And then I was thinking, has she gone
off with my money?
151
00:10:02,940 --> 00:10:04,640
All sorts of things were running through
my mind.
152
00:10:13,520 --> 00:10:15,980
There was a police car that drove into
the street.
153
00:10:16,840 --> 00:10:18,580
I'm thinking, you know, was that for me?
154
00:10:20,700 --> 00:10:21,700
I was bricking myself.
155
00:10:43,600 --> 00:10:44,780
Finally, May comes out.
156
00:10:48,040 --> 00:10:49,500
So I said, where's the stuffing?
157
00:10:49,860 --> 00:10:51,580
She was like, don't worry, don't worry.
158
00:10:53,640 --> 00:10:56,080
She'd taped all this crystal meth to her
leg.
159
00:10:56,860 --> 00:10:59,520
And I was like, OK, well, you've got
this under control. You've already done
160
00:10:59,520 --> 00:11:00,520
this before.
161
00:11:02,700 --> 00:11:03,700
Just give me your hand.
162
00:11:04,240 --> 00:11:05,039
Come on.
163
00:11:05,040 --> 00:11:06,600
May could tell how anxious I was.
164
00:11:07,240 --> 00:11:10,180
She put some coke on me, on my hand, and
I've done a bit of that.
165
00:11:12,280 --> 00:11:13,280
You see?
166
00:11:17,950 --> 00:11:19,910
We've started our journey back to
Pattaya now.
167
00:11:20,210 --> 00:11:23,990
I was still scared, to be honest. Doing
the coke didn't help at all, just made
168
00:11:23,990 --> 00:11:25,250
my nerves ten times worse.
169
00:11:26,570 --> 00:11:29,710
And then up ahead I've seen police.
170
00:11:31,070 --> 00:11:32,070
It's a checkpoint.
171
00:11:33,890 --> 00:11:37,450
Now I feel in a complete state and got
all the 200 grand of ice in the car.
172
00:11:39,350 --> 00:11:42,430
My mate was like, don't worry, just say
hello and be polite.
173
00:11:43,130 --> 00:11:44,130
I'll do the rest.
174
00:11:47,630 --> 00:11:50,870
As he got closer and closer, I'm getting
more and more nervous. You know, I'm
175
00:11:50,870 --> 00:11:51,870
sweating now.
176
00:11:54,290 --> 00:11:56,430
My heart is just beating so fast.
177
00:12:05,470 --> 00:12:06,830
He said, where are you going?
178
00:12:08,070 --> 00:12:09,670
I said, oh, we got to Pattaya.
179
00:12:10,350 --> 00:12:11,350
I'm on holiday.
180
00:12:14,210 --> 00:12:15,370
He said, good, Thailand?
181
00:12:16,150 --> 00:12:17,190
I said, yeah, yeah, yeah.
182
00:12:17,610 --> 00:12:18,610
Very good.
183
00:12:19,370 --> 00:12:21,790
I'd had a line of coke. I was pumped
with adrenaline.
184
00:12:23,390 --> 00:12:25,270
My eyes would have definitely been
dilated.
185
00:12:26,090 --> 00:12:29,490
So I think, has he noticed that? Or, you
know, why is he continuing to look at
186
00:12:29,490 --> 00:12:30,490
me?
187
00:12:31,330 --> 00:12:32,329
Get out.
188
00:12:32,330 --> 00:12:37,510
Get out. So many times I've taken risks
in my life, but I really took this to
189
00:12:37,510 --> 00:12:40,090
another level and it was just completely
off the scale. I was well out of my
190
00:12:40,090 --> 00:12:41,090
depth.
191
00:12:41,270 --> 00:12:43,010
You get out the car now. Out!
192
00:12:44,910 --> 00:12:46,610
I thought, there's no way out of it.
193
00:13:04,270 --> 00:13:05,129
Get out.
194
00:13:05,130 --> 00:13:06,130
Get out.
195
00:13:06,430 --> 00:13:09,850
I was like, well done, mate. You've
really picked on now.
196
00:13:10,870 --> 00:13:12,650
You get out the car now. Out!
197
00:13:16,850 --> 00:13:20,010
And then, thank God, mate took over and
started speaking to him.
198
00:13:22,730 --> 00:13:24,150
Didn't have a clue what they were
talking about.
199
00:13:26,150 --> 00:13:30,770
And then I saw his hand go like that to
me and then sort of sent us forward.
200
00:13:41,710 --> 00:13:45,130
I think literally we got about 50 yards
up the road and I just shouted.
201
00:13:46,330 --> 00:13:47,770
See, I told you, man.
202
00:13:53,350 --> 00:13:59,570
It was a big relief, but at the same
point, that really brought it home as
203
00:13:59,630 --> 00:14:01,490
you know, how serious this is, what
we're doing.
204
00:14:08,950 --> 00:14:11,670
We'd done the hardest part and we'd...
We'd got the stuff.
205
00:14:12,330 --> 00:14:16,290
It was a good feeling to know that
selling all this ice in Pattaya is going
206
00:14:16,290 --> 00:14:20,290
turn into a lot of money because now
I've gone up a level. The little
207
00:14:20,310 --> 00:14:24,110
I'd roll them up into like a little tube
shape, put an elastic band on them and
208
00:14:24,110 --> 00:14:25,110
hide them in my shorts.
209
00:14:25,150 --> 00:14:26,550
So that was it, I was on a mission.
210
00:14:32,650 --> 00:14:39,130
I'd gone to this strip club that made a
lot of the girls there smoke crystal
211
00:14:39,130 --> 00:14:40,130
meth.
212
00:14:41,260 --> 00:14:44,980
So I thought this wasn't a bad little
spot, to be fair, to start off.
213
00:14:47,560 --> 00:14:50,340
And then this Thai guy came over to talk
to me.
214
00:14:50,880 --> 00:14:56,160
I think he noticed that I wasn't your
typical tourist and that I hadn't come
215
00:14:56,160 --> 00:14:57,160
there for the girls.
216
00:14:57,720 --> 00:14:59,320
He asked, what are you doing here?
217
00:14:59,880 --> 00:15:03,300
And I said, mate, let's hit this place
off to, you know, do some business.
218
00:15:03,980 --> 00:15:05,940
He said, you know, mate, that's cool.
219
00:15:08,560 --> 00:15:10,280
To really sort of sweeten things up.
220
00:15:10,590 --> 00:15:11,590
I've given him a bit.
221
00:15:12,650 --> 00:15:14,450
It broke the ice and we became friends.
222
00:15:15,070 --> 00:15:16,070
Said his name was O.
223
00:15:17,130 --> 00:15:21,690
He was quite a mysterious sort of
character, but we'd built up a bit of
224
00:15:21,930 --> 00:15:24,390
He became one of my regular customers,
actually.
225
00:15:27,910 --> 00:15:32,370
That night, I think I managed to sell
five of the little bags that I'd made
226
00:15:34,730 --> 00:15:38,810
As soon as the exchange happened, I got
a real buzz off it. I got a real kick
227
00:15:38,810 --> 00:15:39,850
from doing it, and I was like,
228
00:15:40,590 --> 00:15:41,590
This is easy.
229
00:15:45,370 --> 00:15:50,930
Over the next few months, I've hit the
streets of the site, hopping from bar to
230
00:15:50,930 --> 00:15:55,710
strip club, just whizzing around,
getting rid of all this crystal meth I
231
00:15:55,790 --> 00:15:57,110
making loads of money.
232
00:15:57,590 --> 00:15:59,170
I was cocky and confident.
233
00:15:59,670 --> 00:16:04,370
I was taking big risks, but the
lifestyle that I was living at the time
234
00:16:04,370 --> 00:16:07,450
than worth it, living the dream in
paradise.
235
00:16:09,040 --> 00:16:11,540
But the world that I was living in just
wasn't reality.
236
00:16:14,160 --> 00:16:15,860
I was just so naive.
237
00:16:21,720 --> 00:16:25,540
It'd probably been a few months, I
think, since I'd actually seen my dad at
238
00:16:25,540 --> 00:16:26,540
point.
239
00:16:27,400 --> 00:16:34,140
I remember one time I'd gone past my
dad's bar, and I looked in, and
240
00:16:34,140 --> 00:16:38,620
I'd seen my dad in there, and I was
thinking, You kicked me out.
241
00:16:39,240 --> 00:16:42,440
But I can stand on my own two feet now.
I am earning my own money.
242
00:16:42,720 --> 00:16:47,740
But again, without my dad in my life, I
lost sight of what was important and my
243
00:16:47,740 --> 00:16:48,800
morals, which went out the window.
244
00:16:49,640 --> 00:16:55,020
At that point, I didn't realise, but
everything was slowly, you know,
245
00:16:55,040 --> 00:16:56,040
deteriorating, to be honest.
246
00:16:58,300 --> 00:17:00,400
Now I've got to the point where...
247
00:17:01,100 --> 00:17:04,020
I'd got rid of all this ice that I'd
picked up from Bangkok.
248
00:17:04,640 --> 00:17:07,619
I had to make the decision as to where I
was going to get it next.
249
00:17:07,920 --> 00:17:09,980
You know, I wasn't up for going back to
Bangkok.
250
00:17:10,220 --> 00:17:15,540
After the last time, I thought, I need
to get someone a bit closer, in Pattaya,
251
00:17:15,619 --> 00:17:16,619
hopefully.
252
00:17:16,680 --> 00:17:22,640
May made lots of calls and eventually
found someone local that could supply me
253
00:17:22,640 --> 00:17:24,819
with, you know, the bigger amount that I
needed.
254
00:17:25,180 --> 00:17:30,060
I made the arrangement to meet up with
this guy in a hotel that was quite out
255
00:17:30,060 --> 00:17:31,060
the way.
256
00:17:32,920 --> 00:17:34,120
And everything was in place.
257
00:17:38,600 --> 00:17:42,500
On the way to the hotel, I bought a pack
of the small fillable bags that I used,
258
00:17:42,620 --> 00:17:44,400
you know, when I'm breaking all the
drugs down.
259
00:17:48,240 --> 00:17:51,200
So I checked into the room number that
we agreed on.
260
00:17:55,960 --> 00:17:59,460
I've got the money that, you know, I've
got to buy the drugs. We've got them
261
00:17:59,460 --> 00:18:00,460
bags.
262
00:18:00,880 --> 00:18:02,430
But... The guy wasn't actually there.
263
00:18:03,550 --> 00:18:05,850
I wasn't sure if I could 100 % trust
this guy.
264
00:18:06,970 --> 00:18:08,710
You know, I'd only ever spoken to him on
the phone.
265
00:18:09,350 --> 00:18:12,830
I was starting to get, you know, a bit
sweaty and worked up and, you know,
266
00:18:12,870 --> 00:18:15,710
feeling really anxious. You know, I'm
wondering what's going on, why's he not
267
00:18:15,710 --> 00:18:16,710
turning up?
268
00:18:17,770 --> 00:18:20,010
And then the next minute, I was at the
door.
269
00:18:20,270 --> 00:18:21,270
Bang, bang, bang.
270
00:18:26,110 --> 00:18:27,690
I can see two police officers.
271
00:18:27,970 --> 00:18:29,950
A heart has just, like, dropped to my
stomach.
272
00:18:32,260 --> 00:18:34,140
I've, like, ran in, like, a mad panic.
273
00:18:36,860 --> 00:18:41,040
I've pushed one of the ceiling tiles up
and I've put the money there and, you
274
00:18:41,040 --> 00:18:42,780
know, the bags that I'd literally just
bought.
275
00:18:45,100 --> 00:18:48,960
I opened the door and the police just
barged straight in.
276
00:18:49,560 --> 00:18:52,240
They were shouting, which means, you
know, where's the drugs?
277
00:18:52,700 --> 00:18:55,100
And I was like, I don't have any drugs.
I don't have drugs.
278
00:18:55,440 --> 00:18:57,480
As if I hadn't got a clue what they were
talking about.
279
00:18:57,720 --> 00:18:59,220
But what I did know is that...
280
00:18:59,420 --> 00:19:03,080
This dealer could be turning up at any
point with the crystal meth.
281
00:19:03,320 --> 00:19:06,000
Then they were saying, which means,
where's the bag?
282
00:19:06,640 --> 00:19:08,700
And I was like, I don't know what you're
talking about.
283
00:19:08,920 --> 00:19:11,800
He said, you buy a bag from shopkeeper.
We know, we know.
284
00:19:14,120 --> 00:19:17,580
My hands were sweating. My heart was
just pounding through my chest.
285
00:19:18,460 --> 00:19:22,660
And I thought to myself, really, get out
of this one, mate.
286
00:19:40,900 --> 00:19:43,160
There's looking everywhere. They're just
turning the room upside down.
287
00:19:44,820 --> 00:19:49,360
I was just praying, please, God, please
do not let this dealer walk through the
288
00:19:49,360 --> 00:19:50,259
door now.
289
00:19:50,260 --> 00:19:51,860
This could be the complete end of me.
290
00:19:53,240 --> 00:19:56,100
All I kept thinking was, I've got to get
rid of these guys, you know.
291
00:19:56,460 --> 00:19:57,760
I just need to get them out of here.
292
00:20:01,000 --> 00:20:04,060
I pointed to the ceiling and they said,
OK, get them.
293
00:20:08,160 --> 00:20:09,160
You lie.
294
00:20:10,260 --> 00:20:11,260
Why you lie?
295
00:20:12,180 --> 00:20:13,119
Why you lie?
296
00:20:13,120 --> 00:20:14,760
Why you have this bag? You sell.
297
00:20:15,080 --> 00:20:18,500
They said, we take you police station.
You go monkey house, which is what they
298
00:20:18,500 --> 00:20:19,500
call prison there.
299
00:20:19,680 --> 00:20:21,120
I said, fine, 30 ,000 baht.
300
00:20:21,660 --> 00:20:24,520
So I was like, okay, you know, I'll give
you money, no problem.
301
00:20:24,820 --> 00:20:26,180
It was about 600 pounds.
302
00:20:26,780 --> 00:20:29,140
And he said, okay, finish now.
303
00:20:29,940 --> 00:20:30,940
Be careful.
304
00:20:33,400 --> 00:20:35,720
I was like, wow, like, is that it?
305
00:20:38,060 --> 00:20:43,900
That was me learning how things worked
over there, how corrupt it was at that
306
00:20:43,900 --> 00:20:44,900
point.
307
00:20:45,240 --> 00:20:47,600
So I'm watching the police guy drive
off.
308
00:20:50,240 --> 00:20:51,820
And the dealer walks through the door.
309
00:20:52,340 --> 00:20:54,600
He said, I saw the police, so I stayed
away.
310
00:20:55,000 --> 00:20:57,700
At that point, I thought, he's all
right, he's a good guy.
311
00:20:58,380 --> 00:20:59,920
I was like, thank you so much.
312
00:21:00,420 --> 00:21:02,500
And then he said to me, you still want
the drugs?
313
00:21:03,000 --> 00:21:06,860
I sort of laughed. I was like, do I? And
I was like, yeah, go on then, give it
314
00:21:06,860 --> 00:21:07,860
to me, yeah.
315
00:21:11,930 --> 00:21:15,270
After I bribed the police, I hit it
harder than ever at that point.
316
00:21:16,910 --> 00:21:20,210
I was literally like going around
selling seven days a week, you know,
317
00:21:20,210 --> 00:21:23,070
around the clock. The money was coming
in as fast as it was going out.
318
00:21:24,570 --> 00:21:25,810
Turnover of thousands and thousands.
319
00:21:26,610 --> 00:21:28,110
There was no stopping me at that point.
320
00:21:30,890 --> 00:21:34,190
It made me think that, you know, even if
I get caught, there's no way I'm going
321
00:21:34,190 --> 00:21:36,410
to prison because I could just pay my
way out of things.
322
00:21:37,530 --> 00:21:38,530
I'll be fine.
323
00:21:40,110 --> 00:21:42,010
It is dangerous to think you're
invincible.
324
00:21:47,850 --> 00:21:50,370
I rented this massive villa with a
swimming pool.
325
00:21:50,870 --> 00:21:54,090
It was just real luxury, and I just
thought, I'm going to go for it.
326
00:21:57,330 --> 00:22:01,750
I went on a bit of spree, having parties
there, and there was obviously loads of
327
00:22:01,750 --> 00:22:02,750
drugs flowing around.
328
00:22:02,930 --> 00:22:06,650
There was girls, there was music. It was
just buzzing. It was crazy.
329
00:22:09,360 --> 00:22:12,260
And I started using my supply as well,
crystal meth.
330
00:22:13,000 --> 00:22:16,340
I just thought, everyone else is doing
it around me, I'll just get in the
331
00:22:16,340 --> 00:22:17,340
moment.
332
00:22:30,240 --> 00:22:33,400
But it just got heavier and heavier
pretty quickly.
333
00:22:35,020 --> 00:22:38,520
It got to the point where I'd wake up in
the morning and...
334
00:22:38,720 --> 00:22:40,580
That'd be the first thing that I'd think
about, you know.
335
00:22:43,600 --> 00:22:47,620
When I started, I had this rule that I'd
only sell to girls and expats and the
336
00:22:47,620 --> 00:22:50,540
bars, but now I pretty much sell to
anyone who had money.
337
00:22:51,600 --> 00:22:53,600
People were starting to come to the
house to collect stuff.
338
00:22:54,760 --> 00:22:56,260
Just real careless, I think, yeah.
339
00:22:56,820 --> 00:23:01,180
I was literally just living in that
moment and I was not thinking about the
340
00:23:01,180 --> 00:23:02,180
following day.
341
00:23:02,220 --> 00:23:03,840
I was just in this bubble now.
342
00:23:04,780 --> 00:23:06,220
Like a big downward spiral.
343
00:23:07,310 --> 00:23:10,230
Addiction, I mean, it just feels like
you are in control.
344
00:23:11,130 --> 00:23:12,450
But ice was controlling me.
345
00:23:16,370 --> 00:23:18,090
I've been in Thailand for more than a
year.
346
00:23:20,570 --> 00:23:25,110
One day, I've sort of come round in the
morning, you know, my head's just all
347
00:23:25,110 --> 00:23:28,050
over the place, and who walks in out of
the blue?
348
00:23:30,430 --> 00:23:31,430
It's my dad.
349
00:23:33,800 --> 00:23:36,860
I hadn't seen my dad for so long, like
probably about six months.
350
00:23:37,080 --> 00:23:41,340
And he said, mate, you look like
absolute... He said, look, Rhys,
351
00:23:41,340 --> 00:23:42,340
what you're doing.
352
00:23:42,520 --> 00:23:46,740
I remember just feeling awful, you know,
my dad seeing me in that state.
353
00:23:47,520 --> 00:23:49,020
And he said, you need to stop this.
354
00:23:49,440 --> 00:23:50,780
He's like, I worry about you every day.
355
00:23:52,600 --> 00:23:56,380
I just sort of wait to get this phone
call that you're dead or, you know,
356
00:23:56,380 --> 00:23:57,780
locked up.
357
00:23:58,220 --> 00:23:59,560
He said, I just dread that call.
358
00:24:01,760 --> 00:24:03,140
You can move back in with me.
359
00:24:03,560 --> 00:24:06,680
Get yourself straight again, mate. That
was the moment that changed things for
360
00:24:06,680 --> 00:24:09,500
me, and I thought, yeah, I'm going to
stop this, and I'm moving back in.
361
00:24:11,260 --> 00:24:14,060
So, yeah, I remember saying, look, Dad,
I'm going to stop it all.
362
00:24:14,820 --> 00:24:15,920
I need to hear.
363
00:24:16,560 --> 00:24:19,400
It was a bit teary, but it was a good
moment.
364
00:24:20,400 --> 00:24:23,480
I said, let me get all my stuff sorted
out here, and we agreed that I would go
365
00:24:23,480 --> 00:24:25,360
back. See you at the bar later, yeah.
OK, perfect.
366
00:24:26,040 --> 00:24:27,060
And then he went.
367
00:24:27,440 --> 00:24:28,440
See you later, Dad.
368
00:24:29,500 --> 00:24:32,480
But just as he was leaving, I was walked
in.
369
00:24:33,000 --> 00:24:34,580
They've literally crossed paths.
370
00:24:38,520 --> 00:24:42,140
He said, Reece, can you sort me some
stuff out? And I was like, I'm done. I'm
371
00:24:42,140 --> 00:24:43,420
not going to be selling anymore.
372
00:24:43,780 --> 00:24:45,040
No, no, I've got people waiting.
373
00:24:45,260 --> 00:24:47,880
I was like, listen, that's it for now.
I'm calling it a day now.
374
00:24:49,140 --> 00:24:52,280
He's like, please, just this one last
time and then I won't bother you again.
375
00:24:52,860 --> 00:24:56,200
I thought to myself, I probably could do
with a little bit more money. I've got
376
00:24:56,200 --> 00:24:59,820
customers. I've got people waiting. Just
before I do go back to my dad's and
377
00:24:59,820 --> 00:25:00,820
live. So I thought...
378
00:25:01,000 --> 00:25:02,740
Yeah, maybe I will just do this last
one.
379
00:25:04,000 --> 00:25:05,200
Fine, one more time.
380
00:25:07,400 --> 00:25:10,040
And, yeah, that was a big mistake.
381
00:25:13,980 --> 00:25:15,200
So we went across town.
382
00:25:16,240 --> 00:25:19,220
We had to go to an area where it was
quite run down.
383
00:25:20,360 --> 00:25:23,620
One of my trusted suppliers were
actually dealing from one of the
384
00:25:23,620 --> 00:25:24,620
there.
385
00:25:25,640 --> 00:25:27,940
I said, just give me the money. I'll
literally be five minutes.
386
00:25:33,950 --> 00:25:37,830
So as my supplier was getting the stuff
ready for me, I walked over and I could
387
00:25:37,830 --> 00:25:40,430
see O strolling about on his phone.
388
00:25:40,830 --> 00:25:42,270
I was thinking, come on, hurry up.
389
00:25:42,830 --> 00:25:43,990
I just wanted to get it all done.
390
00:25:47,370 --> 00:25:50,410
I walked out of the apartment and I
said, OK, let's go.
391
00:25:50,990 --> 00:25:52,350
And he's like, I see it first.
392
00:25:52,770 --> 00:25:55,030
No, just go. He's like, no, no, I want
to see it.
393
00:25:55,230 --> 00:25:58,250
And I was like, for God's sake. So I've
just shanked him out and I've just held
394
00:25:58,250 --> 00:26:00,030
him in his face. I'm like, there you go,
there, you're happy now.
395
00:26:04,300 --> 00:26:06,680
He got the keys in there, but wouldn't
start the bike.
396
00:26:07,260 --> 00:26:11,700
And he was literally completely ignoring
me. And I was like, you know, what's
397
00:26:11,700 --> 00:26:12,980
going on? What's I playing at?
398
00:26:13,880 --> 00:26:16,380
That was when the alarm bell started
ringing.
399
00:26:17,260 --> 00:26:19,640
At that point, I've seen this truck
coming down.
400
00:26:19,960 --> 00:26:21,420
Suddenly, the doors slid open.
401
00:26:24,840 --> 00:26:28,380
This is not your normal police. This is
like your drug squad. I had a split
402
00:26:28,380 --> 00:26:30,880
second, you know, to make my mind up as
to what I was going to do.
403
00:26:35,560 --> 00:26:37,380
I just chucked the jugs, I was off.
404
00:26:38,500 --> 00:26:39,560
I'm gone, I'm running.
405
00:26:40,260 --> 00:26:43,240
If they caught me, I was potentially
facing a lifetime in jail.
406
00:26:43,980 --> 00:26:45,220
So I was running for my life.
407
00:26:58,460 --> 00:27:02,020
So now I'm running and I had no plan and
no idea where I was heading.
408
00:27:04,270 --> 00:27:08,270
And my heart is literally just pounding
through my chest, to the point where I
409
00:27:08,270 --> 00:27:09,290
think I'm actually going to have a heart
attack.
410
00:27:10,450 --> 00:27:13,990
I just kept repeating to myself in my
head, I was like, I just can't get
411
00:27:14,110 --> 00:27:15,110
I can't get caught.
412
00:27:19,070 --> 00:27:22,390
I've gone into sort of like this
undergrowth, and I was getting scratched
413
00:27:22,390 --> 00:27:23,670
over my face, my arms.
414
00:27:26,690 --> 00:27:32,610
I've come out the other side, and, you
know, I'm in like a yard, and I've seen
415
00:27:32,610 --> 00:27:33,610
hole in the fence.
416
00:27:37,130 --> 00:27:39,930
I'm halfway through this hole. I think
I'm going to make it.
417
00:27:41,170 --> 00:27:42,490
And then I hear this voice.
418
00:27:42,930 --> 00:27:44,430
Stop! Don't move.
419
00:27:46,950 --> 00:27:48,710
And at that point, I knew it was over.
420
00:27:52,050 --> 00:27:55,650
I knew if I'd done any sort of sharp
movements and that, he's probably going
421
00:27:55,650 --> 00:27:57,350
pull the trigger, you know, and I'd be
dead.
422
00:27:58,010 --> 00:27:59,010
He then kicks me.
423
00:27:59,950 --> 00:28:02,790
Now, before I know it, there's, like,
three or four of them. They're all just,
424
00:28:02,810 --> 00:28:03,810
like, kicking me.
425
00:28:11,600 --> 00:28:13,420
They marched me back to the vehicle.
426
00:28:14,460 --> 00:28:15,600
Then I've seen O.
427
00:28:19,080 --> 00:28:20,100
He betrayed me.
428
00:28:21,020 --> 00:28:23,980
Massively, like probably the biggest
betrayal you could have in that
429
00:28:26,960 --> 00:28:29,180
I was just thieving, I was fuming
inside.
430
00:28:29,840 --> 00:28:31,380
I just wanted to grab hold of him.
431
00:28:33,929 --> 00:28:35,610
But the future wasn't in my hands.
432
00:28:36,410 --> 00:28:39,930
They give, you know, life sentences and,
you know, the death sentence for drugs
433
00:28:39,930 --> 00:28:40,930
in Thailand.
434
00:28:41,970 --> 00:28:44,770
And I am, like, completely, to be
honest.
435
00:28:51,130 --> 00:28:53,050
So after that, I was taken to a safe
house.
436
00:28:59,440 --> 00:29:03,320
You know, my mind just still going round
and round and doing somersaults.
437
00:29:05,880 --> 00:29:11,140
I remember thinking, I'd come to
Thailand, you know, start a new life,
438
00:29:11,140 --> 00:29:15,180
relationship back up with my dad, and
here I was. My dad would find out the
439
00:29:15,180 --> 00:29:17,820
way when any word got around about what
had just happened.
440
00:29:19,420 --> 00:29:23,520
You know, I was just left handcuffed to
this bed, and I was there all night.
441
00:29:24,540 --> 00:29:26,040
And my body was craving ice.
442
00:29:26,800 --> 00:29:28,880
I was going through, like, cold turkey,
basically.
443
00:29:29,860 --> 00:29:33,420
There's only one place that I'll be
going. They call it a monkey house. A
444
00:29:33,420 --> 00:29:34,420
hellhole, basically.
445
00:29:38,800 --> 00:29:44,140
You know, they eventually put me back in
the truck.
446
00:29:45,560 --> 00:29:48,040
And they drove me to a prison in
Bangkok.
447
00:29:55,500 --> 00:29:56,900
I remember seeing the wall.
448
00:29:57,600 --> 00:30:00,340
I just didn't know what was on the other
side. That was the scary bit.
449
00:30:00,740 --> 00:30:02,400
Are they going to target me?
450
00:30:02,800 --> 00:30:04,140
Is anything going to happen to me?
451
00:30:05,060 --> 00:30:08,060
This could be my future for a very long
time.
452
00:30:09,200 --> 00:30:10,360
I didn't know how long.
453
00:30:28,080 --> 00:30:30,160
They basically said, take all your
clothes off.
454
00:30:30,960 --> 00:30:31,960
It felt awful.
455
00:30:32,320 --> 00:30:33,780
Your self -dignity's just gone.
456
00:30:40,900 --> 00:30:44,200
They're sort of checking in my mouth, in
my genital area.
457
00:30:45,540 --> 00:30:48,160
You just don't even feel like you're a
person anymore.
458
00:30:48,480 --> 00:30:51,100
You know, you just feel like a bit of
meat. You know, you're just being
459
00:30:51,100 --> 00:30:52,100
that way.
460
00:30:53,360 --> 00:30:56,100
This place was just like, you know, a
living hellhole.
461
00:30:56,840 --> 00:30:58,180
This was now my new reality.
462
00:31:00,140 --> 00:31:02,320
The officer's taken me to the cell
block.
463
00:31:03,260 --> 00:31:09,500
I've got all these prisoners, you know,
which is like type, as they say, for
464
00:31:09,500 --> 00:31:10,500
foreigner.
465
00:31:12,300 --> 00:31:15,900
And I remember looking over and seeing
two Thai inmates in front of this guard
466
00:31:15,900 --> 00:31:19,920
who was holding a stick. The next
minute, he's just smashed it down on the
467
00:31:19,920 --> 00:31:23,000
fingertips of the inmate. He's going,
smash, smash, smash.
468
00:31:25,750 --> 00:31:26,910
No emotion at all.
469
00:31:28,170 --> 00:31:33,170
At that point, I thought, there's no way
I want to be causing trouble in here,
470
00:31:33,270 --> 00:31:34,270
that's for sure.
471
00:31:41,850 --> 00:31:45,410
It was actually dark at that point, so I
was like, what now?
472
00:31:46,410 --> 00:31:49,850
And then one of the guys, he was like,
you, you sit here.
473
00:31:52,880 --> 00:31:56,920
It was just so crammed and, like, there
was just no space at all in there.
474
00:32:00,120 --> 00:32:05,040
I was sleeping on a hard, cold floor in
a water bottle as my pillow.
475
00:32:05,580 --> 00:32:07,600
It was just soul -destroying.
476
00:32:08,000 --> 00:32:12,340
I felt really agitated. I was getting
the cold sweats because my body was
477
00:32:12,340 --> 00:32:13,340
craving life.
478
00:32:15,420 --> 00:32:20,020
Got this guy at the same point shouting
and, you know, he's having some sort of
479
00:32:20,020 --> 00:32:21,020
nightmare.
480
00:32:25,770 --> 00:32:30,110
That was the most depressed and helpless
that I've ever felt in my life, to be
481
00:32:30,110 --> 00:32:31,110
honest, at that point.
482
00:32:32,130 --> 00:32:36,030
Everything that I'd heard about what
these tired prisons were like, it was
483
00:32:36,030 --> 00:32:39,730
and it was happening, you know, in front
of my eyes. And it's like your worst
484
00:32:39,730 --> 00:32:40,730
nightmare.
485
00:32:57,520 --> 00:33:00,540
So the next morning the guards have come
round and opened all the cell doors.
486
00:33:05,300 --> 00:33:09,340
I didn't know where to go or what to do.
487
00:33:11,900 --> 00:33:13,460
I thought I'd just keep my head down.
488
00:33:19,880 --> 00:33:24,240
Out of nowhere, this guy had just come
flying by my shoulder.
489
00:33:25,520 --> 00:33:26,580
He had what looked like a knife.
490
00:33:35,050 --> 00:33:36,690
You know, everyone sort of shouting and
that.
491
00:33:37,130 --> 00:33:38,850
All sort of flashed up in an instant.
492
00:33:41,370 --> 00:33:46,310
I was just terrified.
493
00:33:50,630 --> 00:33:54,730
I could
494
00:33:54,730 --> 00:34:01,710
see that anything could happen at any
495
00:34:01,710 --> 00:34:02,810
time very quickly.
496
00:34:04,390 --> 00:34:07,130
And then, next minute, this guy came
over.
497
00:34:07,650 --> 00:34:12,270
I realised it was the guy that was
having the nightmare.
498
00:34:12,909 --> 00:34:14,630
He was like, you're de -icing, aren't
you?
499
00:34:15,210 --> 00:34:16,389
You know, you're coming off the ice.
500
00:34:17,750 --> 00:34:20,489
Oh, my God, I was like, thank God, like,
this guy is English.
501
00:34:24,489 --> 00:34:26,330
He said, why are you here?
502
00:34:28,290 --> 00:34:30,570
So I sort of told him and explained.
503
00:34:33,870 --> 00:34:37,550
I asked him, I said, you know, what are
you in for? He said, drugs are the same.
504
00:34:38,550 --> 00:34:41,969
Crack. Ecstasy, cocaine, crystal meth,
heroin.
505
00:34:42,449 --> 00:34:43,449
Everything, mate.
506
00:34:43,989 --> 00:34:45,949
I was like, how long have you got
sentenced to?
507
00:34:46,690 --> 00:34:50,469
And he was like, it was initially going
to be life, and then they reduced it to
508
00:34:50,469 --> 00:34:51,469
25 years.
509
00:34:52,330 --> 00:34:55,429
I mean, I was in complete shock as well.
I was like, 25 years?
510
00:34:56,290 --> 00:34:59,790
I just could not believe it. And I asked
him, I said, how long have you done
511
00:34:59,790 --> 00:35:01,310
already? He said, two years.
512
00:35:04,200 --> 00:35:05,820
I said, oh, you know, what's your name,
by the way?
513
00:35:07,900 --> 00:35:08,900
He's like, it's Kurt.
514
00:35:09,300 --> 00:35:12,260
He didn't look well, you know, he didn't
look a well person.
515
00:35:13,240 --> 00:35:15,180
I just said, you know, what's wrong with
you?
516
00:35:15,440 --> 00:35:16,440
He don't mind me asking.
517
00:35:17,200 --> 00:35:18,500
And he said, I've got AIDS.
518
00:35:21,060 --> 00:35:23,060
And I just thought... Don't worry about
that.
519
00:35:23,360 --> 00:35:24,840
I was just completely shocked by that.
520
00:35:26,360 --> 00:35:29,540
You know, something like that, it is
like a death sentence in there, you
521
00:35:30,090 --> 00:35:34,330
There was no way, you know, he was ever
going to survive that prison sentence
522
00:35:34,330 --> 00:35:35,330
with what he's got.
523
00:35:37,970 --> 00:35:40,950
He showed me the rules and what to
expect from the prison.
524
00:35:42,070 --> 00:35:43,070
He said,
525
00:35:44,130 --> 00:35:45,490
in here, the currency is cigarettes.
526
00:35:45,810 --> 00:35:48,810
If you want to do something, buy
something, you know, you use cigarettes.
527
00:35:50,670 --> 00:35:52,210
I looked over and I thought, are they
women?
528
00:35:53,810 --> 00:35:54,810
He said, no, no.
529
00:35:56,730 --> 00:35:58,610
They're basically selling their body for
cigarettes.
530
00:36:02,000 --> 00:36:04,380
Best advice, get yourself in a gang.
531
00:36:04,620 --> 00:36:06,660
There was a lot of gangs in there.
532
00:36:06,940 --> 00:36:08,160
They sort of called them a family.
533
00:36:09,400 --> 00:36:12,880
Kurt said if you could get into one of
them, that would be the best way to have
534
00:36:12,880 --> 00:36:14,900
protection and, you know, people have
got your back.
535
00:36:15,460 --> 00:36:16,800
A uni -gang, which I was.
536
00:36:17,640 --> 00:36:20,600
With all this violence going on around
me as well, you know, I knew I could be
537
00:36:20,600 --> 00:36:21,600
killed at any minute.
538
00:36:26,540 --> 00:36:29,380
After the first couple of days, I still
had no word from my dad.
539
00:36:29,980 --> 00:36:32,080
He must know by now that I had been
arrested.
540
00:36:32,440 --> 00:36:36,800
I thought, is he letting me see it out,
you know, being that sort of, that tough
541
00:36:36,800 --> 00:36:40,980
dad? On the other hand, I was thinking,
you know, maybe my dad had given up on
542
00:36:40,980 --> 00:36:41,980
me.
543
00:36:42,840 --> 00:36:45,340
Maybe he thought there was, you know,
there was no helping me.
544
00:36:45,720 --> 00:36:47,660
I felt so alone at that point.
545
00:36:57,680 --> 00:37:04,050
Eventually... Kurt was put in the
hospital wing. I could just see him
546
00:37:04,050 --> 00:37:11,010
deteriorating. It made me really realise
if I were to become ill, chances
547
00:37:11,010 --> 00:37:12,270
are I wouldn't survive it.
548
00:37:20,910 --> 00:37:24,430
So I'd been in prison for about a week
now.
549
00:37:25,269 --> 00:37:27,970
and I was escorted up to the visiting
area.
550
00:37:31,290 --> 00:37:35,910
To see my dad's face was probably the
most relief that I've ever felt.
551
00:37:38,210 --> 00:37:41,250
The first thing he said to me was, like,
I'm so sorry I haven't come sooner. It
552
00:37:41,250 --> 00:37:42,890
was only yesterday that I found out you
were here.
553
00:37:43,790 --> 00:37:45,970
I said, like, don't worry about any of
that, Dad.
554
00:37:46,350 --> 00:37:47,770
I'm just so glad that you're here now.
555
00:37:48,990 --> 00:37:53,650
We had a long conversation, but I just
felt so, you know, ashamed of myself.
556
00:37:57,670 --> 00:38:03,910
There was so many chances that I had and
that he'd given me and I just never
557
00:38:03,910 --> 00:38:04,910
listened.
558
00:38:05,130 --> 00:38:10,530
Eventually we said our goodbye, which is
obviously emotional, and then I
559
00:38:10,530 --> 00:38:12,070
remember him walking away.
560
00:38:16,010 --> 00:38:21,470
I'd have done anything to take back, you
know, what I'd done and what I'd got
561
00:38:21,470 --> 00:38:22,470
involved with.
562
00:38:27,140 --> 00:38:32,100
If I got sentenced like Kurt, which is
25 years, I doubted whether, you know,
563
00:38:32,140 --> 00:38:33,960
I'd be able to get through that.
564
00:38:37,180 --> 00:38:38,920
That moment was rock bottom for me.
565
00:38:58,410 --> 00:39:01,070
Time moves so slowly when you're trapped
in a cage.
566
00:39:02,450 --> 00:39:05,850
Each day feels like a month and each
month just feels like a year.
567
00:39:14,110 --> 00:39:15,110
Wake up.
568
00:39:15,950 --> 00:39:22,770
And then one morning I got news about my
friend Kurt that he died.
569
00:39:24,870 --> 00:39:25,870
You take.
570
00:39:26,980 --> 00:39:29,020
He never got the chance to see the
outside again.
571
00:39:32,060 --> 00:39:35,760
Kurt dying made me think, I can't get
out of here and I don't know if I can do
572
00:39:35,760 --> 00:39:36,760
this anymore.
573
00:39:39,580 --> 00:39:42,560
The one lifeline that, you know, I
thought that I had was gone.
574
00:39:48,920 --> 00:39:51,880
I've been in prison for six months when
I finally got sentenced.
575
00:40:06,799 --> 00:40:10,540
I learned that it was only this one deal
that they got me on and that I was
576
00:40:10,540 --> 00:40:11,540
being charged with.
577
00:40:14,060 --> 00:40:19,060
I got five and a half years, but because
I pleaded guilty, they halved my
578
00:40:19,060 --> 00:40:21,000
sentence to two years, nine months.
579
00:40:22,700 --> 00:40:27,380
I was relieved that, you know, I wasn't
going to be in this place as long as,
580
00:40:27,380 --> 00:40:31,980
you know, someone like Kurt for 25
years, but two years, nine months in a
581
00:40:31,980 --> 00:40:34,360
like this, it's still going to be hard
for me to get through.
582
00:40:35,360 --> 00:40:39,560
So I made the decision to try and keep
looking forward and not dwell on the
583
00:40:39,560 --> 00:40:42,640
past, and I realised that I might
actually survive.
584
00:40:46,220 --> 00:40:49,720
I started to throw myself into
everything, you know, just to keep busy.
585
00:40:50,400 --> 00:40:52,320
My time was really coming along nicely.
586
00:40:53,310 --> 00:40:57,210
So I started to do a bit of translating
for new prisoners that came in.
587
00:40:58,170 --> 00:41:02,050
But the most positive moment in there
was doing the thing I love, which was
588
00:41:02,050 --> 00:41:03,050
football.
589
00:41:04,070 --> 00:41:08,570
And I'd make teams, do tournaments and
just do some exercise, get my body back
590
00:41:08,570 --> 00:41:09,570
to good condition.
591
00:41:10,770 --> 00:41:13,950
I used that to sort of push me forward
and keep me going.
592
00:41:15,250 --> 00:41:19,490
There was light at the end of the
tunnel, even if it was hard to see, you
593
00:41:19,490 --> 00:41:20,490
I knew it was there.
594
00:41:28,810 --> 00:41:32,910
So I've been in prison for more than two
years now and I started to, you know,
595
00:41:32,930 --> 00:41:34,710
count the days until my release.
596
00:41:35,650 --> 00:41:40,070
Thais really love and respect their
royal family and every year on their
597
00:41:40,070 --> 00:41:44,470
birthdays they give a royal amnesty to
some of the prisoners and give a
598
00:41:44,470 --> 00:41:46,670
reduction to their prison sentence.
599
00:41:47,650 --> 00:41:52,290
So all the inmates, they're waiting to
see if they might get this amnesty and
600
00:41:52,290 --> 00:41:55,590
I got this amnesty, I'd get three months
off my sentence.
601
00:41:57,070 --> 00:41:59,510
And then they gave it, and then the
whole place just erupted.
602
00:42:02,630 --> 00:42:05,270
It was the best news I'd had.
603
00:42:05,490 --> 00:42:08,770
This is it. It's actually happening, you
know. I'm getting out soon.
604
00:42:17,230 --> 00:42:19,110
Finally, the day of my release came.
605
00:42:19,590 --> 00:42:24,870
I can't even describe the feeling. It
was, you know, I'd had my freedom taken
606
00:42:24,870 --> 00:42:25,950
away from me for so long.
607
00:42:26,710 --> 00:42:29,350
Just seeing my dad, it's just the
biggest release ever.
608
00:42:32,810 --> 00:42:33,810
It was over.
609
00:42:35,010 --> 00:42:38,850
The feeling of getting, you know,
reunited with my dad, you know, that's
610
00:42:38,850 --> 00:42:39,850
kept me going.
611
00:42:43,250 --> 00:42:45,950
Probably one of the first time I've had,
you know, happy tears, I think.
612
00:42:47,270 --> 00:42:49,470
I just felt like a completely different
person.
613
00:42:50,390 --> 00:42:52,310
I was ready to move on with life now.
614
00:42:54,640 --> 00:42:59,700
But I only had a small moment with my
dad because they escorted me to the
615
00:42:59,700 --> 00:43:01,780
airport where I was deported back to the
UK.
616
00:43:06,520 --> 00:43:13,060
Recently, my dad sold his bar and he
moved back to the UK. So I've now got
617
00:43:13,060 --> 00:43:16,240
little piece that was missing for me
that I thought I might not ever get
618
00:43:17,840 --> 00:43:21,120
Looking back, I was off the rails, you
know, I was just completely out of
619
00:43:21,120 --> 00:43:22,120
control.
620
00:43:23,790 --> 00:43:28,590
Being a dad myself, you know, I wouldn't
wish that on any dad, to be honest.
621
00:43:30,710 --> 00:43:37,130
Fatherhood has taught me to see myself
through my father's eyes and the
622
00:43:37,130 --> 00:43:38,130
that I made.
623
00:43:39,210 --> 00:43:40,890
And I certainly won't be making them
again.
624
00:43:42,750 --> 00:43:44,690
For me now, I'm in a real good place.
625
00:43:45,310 --> 00:43:47,850
I'm a fire alarm engineer. You know, I
absolutely love it.
626
00:43:48,590 --> 00:43:52,810
Prism taught me, you know, what really
mattered to me in life.
627
00:43:53,770 --> 00:43:57,890
You think you're living the high life,
but it doesn't matter what you've got.
628
00:43:58,750 --> 00:44:01,230
It's your family that are the most
important.
52151
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.