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Previously on
Two and a Half Men:
2
00:00:03,655 --> 00:00:04,526
Hi.
LYNDSEY:
I-I'm sorry.
3
00:00:04,613 --> 00:00:05,744
I didn't catch your name.
4
00:00:05,831 --> 00:00:07,094
This is Jeff.
Jeff Strongman.
5
00:00:10,140 --> 00:00:11,707
In return for
6
00:00:11,794 --> 00:00:12,882
51% of your company
7
00:00:12,969 --> 00:00:15,276
I will back your project.
8
00:00:15,363 --> 00:00:17,452
I will sell you
a minority share,
9
00:00:17,539 --> 00:00:18,844
if you agree to work
as my product engineer.
10
00:00:18,931 --> 00:00:21,021
You changed my code.
11
00:00:21,108 --> 00:00:22,587
I made it better.You're fired.
12
00:00:22,674 --> 00:00:24,067
We're done. I don't
work with you anymore.
13
00:00:24,154 --> 00:00:26,504
That's what
"you're fired" means.
14
00:00:26,591 --> 00:00:28,202
So, this isn't
a bad idea anymore.
15
00:00:34,904 --> 00:00:36,688
♪ Men.♪
16
00:00:36,775 --> 00:00:38,168
Oh. Hey, Jenny.
17
00:00:38,255 --> 00:00:39,256
Oh. Do you have
plans for tonight?
18
00:00:39,343 --> 00:00:40,997
You-You want to see a movie?
19
00:00:41,084 --> 00:00:42,129
Uh, no. My girlfriend and I
are actually making one.
20
00:00:44,435 --> 00:00:45,871
It's like The Hunger Games,
21
00:00:45,958 --> 00:00:47,482
but we're not going
to be eating food.
22
00:00:49,484 --> 00:00:51,834
ALAN:
Oh. Hey, Walden.
Uh, want to go see a movie?
23
00:00:51,921 --> 00:00:53,705
I got a buy one,
get one free coupon.
24
00:00:53,792 --> 00:00:56,143
[laughing]:
No, I'm not falling
for that again.
25
00:00:58,188 --> 00:00:59,624
And, besides, I can't.
26
00:00:59,711 --> 00:01:01,583
I'm gonna go see Nicole...
27
00:01:01,670 --> 00:01:04,151
Are you? Or are you gonna say
you're gonna go see Nicole?
28
00:01:04,238 --> 00:01:06,153
And, we say,
that's a good idea.
29
00:01:06,240 --> 00:01:08,242
But, then, you're gonna
talk about it a little more,
30
00:01:08,329 --> 00:01:09,634
and decide, maybe
it's not a good idea.
31
00:01:09,721 --> 00:01:11,288
And we say that's fine.
Whatever you want.
32
00:01:11,375 --> 00:01:14,944
And then you come up to us
15 minutes later and say,
33
00:01:15,031 --> 00:01:15,988
[deep voice]:
"I'm gonna go see Nicole."
34
00:01:16,076 --> 00:01:18,643
Maybe it's not a good idea.
35
00:01:18,730 --> 00:01:20,297
Come on, just grow a pair.
36
00:01:20,384 --> 00:01:23,474
Or strap on a pair from
my drawer and talk to her.
37
00:01:24,867 --> 00:01:26,608
Or you could go
to a movie with me.
38
00:01:26,695 --> 00:01:28,958
I'm gonna go see Nicole.
39
00:01:29,045 --> 00:01:31,134
Hey, Berta,
want to go to the movies?
40
00:01:31,221 --> 00:01:33,310
Sounds good. See you later.
41
00:01:33,397 --> 00:01:36,183
♪ Men.♪
42
00:01:36,270 --> 00:01:37,923
Can I get
my free refill, please?
43
00:01:38,010 --> 00:01:39,708
Sorry, sir.
That offer only applies
44
00:01:39,795 --> 00:01:41,318
on the day of purchase.
45
00:01:41,405 --> 00:01:43,277
I know. I, uh,
I purchased it today. So...
46
00:01:43,364 --> 00:01:44,104
This is a Finding Nemocup.
47
00:01:46,671 --> 00:01:47,107
And you found him.
[laughs]
48
00:01:49,805 --> 00:01:52,199
Uh, also there was a-a spider
in my, in my popcorn.
49
00:01:52,286 --> 00:01:53,113
I had to throw
the whole thing away.
50
00:01:55,593 --> 00:01:57,813
All right. All right. Well, just
tell your manager that, uh,
51
00:01:57,900 --> 00:02:00,250
Alan Harper would like to speak
with him when he has a moment.
52
00:02:00,337 --> 00:02:01,338
He knows me.
53
00:02:01,425 --> 00:02:02,774
We all know you.
54
00:02:06,648 --> 00:02:08,476
Jeff!
55
00:02:08,563 --> 00:02:09,564
Jeff!
56
00:02:09,651 --> 00:02:11,914
Oh! Oh, hey! [laughs]
57
00:02:12,001 --> 00:02:13,394
Larry.
58
00:02:13,481 --> 00:02:15,047
And, uh, uh...
I'm sorry, it's, um...
59
00:02:15,135 --> 00:02:16,353
Lyndsey.
60
00:02:16,440 --> 00:02:18,050
Right. Right. Of course.
61
00:02:18,138 --> 00:02:19,661
I'm-I'm terrible with names.
[nervously laughs]
62
00:02:19,748 --> 00:02:22,185
It's true. Sometimes he
can't even remember his own.
63
00:02:22,272 --> 00:02:26,320
Well, I would never
forget it, Jeff Strongman.
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00:02:27,973 --> 00:02:29,061
Are you here alone?
65
00:02:29,149 --> 00:02:30,628
Saturday night at the movies?
66
00:02:30,715 --> 00:02:31,934
Alone? [laughs]
67
00:02:32,021 --> 00:02:33,109
Hello, suicide hotline.
[laughs]
68
00:02:34,328 --> 00:02:36,373
No. My date is, uh, um...
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00:02:36,460 --> 00:02:38,549
takin' a poop.
70
00:02:38,636 --> 00:02:40,377
Is this date
something serious?
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00:02:40,464 --> 00:02:42,292
'Cause I was actually thinking,
there's a girl in my office,
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00:02:42,379 --> 00:02:43,728
Gwen, who would be
perfect for you.
73
00:02:43,815 --> 00:02:47,428
Honey, I-I-I'm
pretty sure, Jeff is gay.
74
00:02:49,256 --> 00:02:50,996
Nope. The only thing
straighter than me
75
00:02:51,083 --> 00:02:53,303
is my boner when I
look at naked women.
76
00:02:53,390 --> 00:02:54,609
[laughs]
77
00:02:54,696 --> 00:02:56,828
Are you sure
you're not gay?
78
00:02:56,915 --> 00:02:58,526
I'm sure.
Lovethe boobies.
79
00:02:58,613 --> 00:03:01,137
You know, it might be fun,
we all go on a double date.
80
00:03:01,224 --> 00:03:02,182
That would be great.
81
00:03:02,269 --> 00:03:03,531
Would it?
82
00:03:03,618 --> 00:03:05,837
Does that really
sound great, Jeff?
83
00:03:05,924 --> 00:03:08,666
MANAGER:
Alan Harper?
84
00:03:08,753 --> 00:03:11,539
I have a complimentary popcorn
and soda for Alan Harper?
85
00:03:13,584 --> 00:03:14,542
Wow.
86
00:03:18,154 --> 00:03:20,374
Free popcorn and soda.
87
00:03:20,461 --> 00:03:21,157
Bet you wish
you were Alan Harper.
88
00:03:23,420 --> 00:03:25,988
MANAGER:
Mr. Alan Harper?
89
00:03:26,075 --> 00:03:29,296
♪ Men, men, men, men,
manly men, men, men ♪
90
00:03:29,383 --> 00:03:31,602
♪ Men. ♪♪ Ooh. ♪
91
00:03:35,737 --> 00:03:36,694
♪ Men.♪Hey, guys.
92
00:03:37,826 --> 00:03:38,783
Oh, my God.
93
00:03:38,870 --> 00:03:41,046
I knew you'd come back.
94
00:03:41,133 --> 00:03:41,917
I knew you were
not like my father.
95
00:03:43,875 --> 00:03:45,747
Aw...
96
00:03:45,834 --> 00:03:46,748
I missed you
invading my space.
97
00:03:48,837 --> 00:03:51,143
Walden, hi.
98
00:03:51,231 --> 00:03:52,841
What are you doing here?
99
00:03:52,928 --> 00:03:54,799
Don't worry. I'm not
trying to get my job back.
100
00:03:54,886 --> 00:03:57,715
I just wanted to see if
we could get dinner together.
101
00:03:57,802 --> 00:04:00,240
Oh! Let me check my calendar.
102
00:04:00,327 --> 00:04:01,763
What day were you thinking?
103
00:04:01,850 --> 00:04:05,462
Yeah... I'm not so sure
that's a good idea.
104
00:04:05,549 --> 00:04:06,463
Tuesday works for me.
105
00:04:06,550 --> 00:04:07,638
I can skip Pilates.
106
00:04:10,293 --> 00:04:13,644
Look, are... are you mad
about me kissing you?
107
00:04:13,731 --> 00:04:15,994
No. I mean, yes!
108
00:04:16,081 --> 00:04:19,563
I mean, did I think about it?
109
00:04:19,650 --> 00:04:22,174
Sure... but-- ye--
I think about a lot of things.
110
00:04:22,262 --> 00:04:24,176
You know, computers,
music, the weather.
111
00:04:24,264 --> 00:04:26,527
Kissing me?
Yeah. No! No!
112
00:04:26,614 --> 00:04:26,831
Stop it.
113
00:04:28,964 --> 00:04:29,704
Okay. Wednesday,
I've got a thing,
114
00:04:29,791 --> 00:04:31,836
but... uh...
115
00:04:31,923 --> 00:04:32,881
you know what? I can move it.
116
00:04:32,968 --> 00:04:34,796
Good-bye, Mom.
117
00:04:34,883 --> 00:04:37,799
Look, even if there
were an attraction,
118
00:04:37,886 --> 00:04:41,977
there are a hundred nerds
all around the world working on
119
00:04:42,064 --> 00:04:43,587
thought-recognition technology,
120
00:04:43,674 --> 00:04:45,285
and if I don't finish first,
121
00:04:45,372 --> 00:04:47,504
I'm gonna lose the last
two years of my life.
122
00:04:47,591 --> 00:04:49,637
All I heard was,
there is an attraction.
123
00:04:49,724 --> 00:04:51,334
You like kissing me.
124
00:04:51,421 --> 00:04:53,510
And... blah, blah, blah,
two years of my life.
125
00:04:53,597 --> 00:04:55,338
Good-bye, Walden.
126
00:04:55,425 --> 00:04:57,732
Okay. All I heard was,
you, me, pot, Jack in the Box,
127
00:04:57,819 --> 00:05:00,300
blah, blah, blah,
best friends forever.
128
00:05:02,084 --> 00:05:04,260
♪ Men.♪
129
00:05:05,261 --> 00:05:06,610
Hey.
130
00:05:06,697 --> 00:05:09,265
Oh, hey. How was the,
uh... movie?
131
00:05:09,352 --> 00:05:10,527
Fantastic.
I went out by myself,
132
00:05:10,614 --> 00:05:11,920
and came home with a date.
133
00:05:12,007 --> 00:05:13,487
Wow. Normally you
go out with a date
134
00:05:13,574 --> 00:05:14,705
and come home by yourself.
135
00:05:17,882 --> 00:05:19,144
Where is she?
136
00:05:19,231 --> 00:05:21,277
Oh, no-no.
It's a future date.
137
00:05:21,364 --> 00:05:21,930
Future date?
138
00:05:22,017 --> 00:05:23,758
Mm-hmm.
139
00:05:23,845 --> 00:05:26,761
We talking like a, uh...
sex robot?
140
00:05:26,848 --> 00:05:29,329
No, no. Lyndsey and Larry
are setting me up.
141
00:05:29,416 --> 00:05:31,548
Although, if you do see
an ad for a sex robot,
142
00:05:31,635 --> 00:05:32,984
save your money.
143
00:05:33,071 --> 00:05:34,029
They just put lipstick
on a DustBuster.
144
00:05:36,814 --> 00:05:38,512
Wa-Wa-Wa-Wait.
145
00:05:38,599 --> 00:05:41,079
It's not the same DustBuster
you got me for Christmas?
146
00:05:41,166 --> 00:05:42,733
Oh, no-no, of course not.
147
00:05:42,820 --> 00:05:43,952
That-that would be, uh...
148
00:05:44,039 --> 00:05:44,909
Oh, good God!
149
00:05:48,173 --> 00:05:49,697
Wait a sec.
150
00:05:49,784 --> 00:05:51,960
Your ex-girlfriend
and the guy she's with,
151
00:05:52,047 --> 00:05:55,224
who she's cheating on with you,
152
00:05:55,311 --> 00:05:59,228
is getting your alter ego,
Jeff Strongman,
153
00:05:59,315 --> 00:06:00,882
a date with a girl
that they know?
154
00:06:00,969 --> 00:06:04,451
Hang on, uh,
carry the whore. Yes.
155
00:06:05,887 --> 00:06:07,497
So, uh, how'd it go with you?
156
00:06:07,584 --> 00:06:10,979
Uh, well, I... went
to get a date with a girl,
157
00:06:11,066 --> 00:06:13,938
got shot down, and wound up
with a date with a guy.
158
00:06:14,983 --> 00:06:15,984
Been there.
159
00:06:16,898 --> 00:06:18,290
[doorbell rings]
160
00:06:18,378 --> 00:06:19,944
Ah, don't feel bad.
I've been shot down
161
00:06:20,031 --> 00:06:21,859
more times than I can count,
and I'm still here.
162
00:06:21,946 --> 00:06:23,295
BOTH:
We know.
163
00:06:25,254 --> 00:06:27,082
Are you really that stupid?
164
00:06:27,169 --> 00:06:30,999
Okay. You're talking to a guy
who stuck his penis in a vacuum.
165
00:06:33,828 --> 00:06:35,090
What's wrong with you?
166
00:06:35,177 --> 00:06:37,875
Wait, I keep a list
on the fridge.
167
00:06:37,962 --> 00:06:41,052
Why in the world would you agree
to go on a double-date
168
00:06:41,139 --> 00:06:42,227
with me and Larry?
169
00:06:42,314 --> 00:06:44,229
Okay. You are just upset,
170
00:06:44,316 --> 00:06:45,883
because you are gonna have to
watch me be with someone else,
171
00:06:45,970 --> 00:06:47,885
the same way I have to
watch you be with Larry.
172
00:06:47,972 --> 00:06:50,932
[Lyndsey sighs]This is just a taste
of your own medicine.
173
00:06:51,019 --> 00:06:52,890
Jealous-in. Use as directed.
174
00:06:52,977 --> 00:06:56,372
Side effects include
tears, sleepless nights,
175
00:06:56,459 --> 00:06:58,461
and possible rage masturbation.
176
00:06:58,548 --> 00:07:02,857
Number one, he's stupid.
177
00:07:02,944 --> 00:07:06,251
Number two, smells like
mushroom soup.
178
00:07:06,338 --> 00:07:10,952
Number three, he dates
that desperate chick who...
179
00:07:14,477 --> 00:07:15,478
Number four...
180
00:07:20,048 --> 00:07:21,266
Walden?
181
00:07:21,353 --> 00:07:23,007
Hey, Bar-Bar.
Is Nicole there?
182
00:07:23,094 --> 00:07:25,053
Uh... let me see...
183
00:07:25,140 --> 00:07:27,011
[whispering]:
I don't know what that means.
184
00:07:27,098 --> 00:07:31,581
I do... I do not
understand what you're...
185
00:07:31,668 --> 00:07:33,104
Sorry, Walden.
She's in a-a beating.
186
00:07:34,802 --> 00:07:36,630
I think you meant meeting.
187
00:07:36,717 --> 00:07:38,109
Did I?
[whispering]: Did I?
188
00:07:40,111 --> 00:07:41,069
Walden, hi.
189
00:07:41,156 --> 00:07:42,723
Kinda busy. What's up?
190
00:07:42,810 --> 00:07:45,160
I... have something for you.
191
00:07:45,247 --> 00:07:46,378
Hang on.
192
00:07:48,598 --> 00:07:50,165
[sighs]
I hate that she made me lie.
193
00:07:50,252 --> 00:07:51,079
I-I love you.
194
00:07:51,166 --> 00:07:53,298
That was weird.
195
00:07:53,385 --> 00:07:53,995
But at, but at least,
at least it wasn't a lie.
196
00:07:58,216 --> 00:07:59,696
You didn't want to
come to dinner.
197
00:07:59,783 --> 00:08:00,697
So, I brought dinner to you.
198
00:08:00,784 --> 00:08:03,613
Oh, great. I am starving.
199
00:08:03,700 --> 00:08:06,573
Oh, Barry.
It's, it's just for Nicole.
200
00:08:06,660 --> 00:08:08,792
Is it because I lied to you?
201
00:08:08,879 --> 00:08:11,099
No. It's because I like kissing
her just a littlebit more.
202
00:08:13,014 --> 00:08:15,495
This is really sweet.
203
00:08:15,582 --> 00:08:18,149
But I have somuch to do.
204
00:08:18,236 --> 00:08:19,586
Come on...
205
00:08:19,673 --> 00:08:22,937
My poor housekeeper
slaved all day
206
00:08:23,024 --> 00:08:27,768
to make us
this delicious... note...
207
00:08:27,855 --> 00:08:31,685
that says,
"I don't cook. Love, Berta."
208
00:08:31,772 --> 00:08:33,991
Well-- I-I brought you
wine... and cheese...
209
00:08:34,078 --> 00:08:38,605
and... no fricking corkscrew.
[nervously laughs]
210
00:08:38,692 --> 00:08:40,911
I'll give you five minutes.
211
00:08:40,998 --> 00:08:42,434
[laughs]
212
00:08:42,522 --> 00:08:43,566
Well, appears the music
has stopped,
213
00:08:43,653 --> 00:08:45,916
and I am left without a chair.
214
00:08:46,003 --> 00:08:47,135
[remote clicks]
215
00:08:47,222 --> 00:08:49,703
I only have six weeks to live.
216
00:08:49,790 --> 00:08:51,835
Well, okay, that's not true,
but it is my birthday.
217
00:08:51,922 --> 00:08:53,445
It, it really is my birthday.
218
00:08:54,446 --> 00:08:56,579
Look, Walden,
219
00:08:56,666 --> 00:08:58,842
just because
I agreed to do this,
220
00:08:58,929 --> 00:09:00,844
I don't want you
to get the wrong idea.
221
00:09:00,931 --> 00:09:02,542
[British accent]:
Well, it's too late.
222
00:09:02,629 --> 00:09:04,065
Once the lady accepts
the man's cheese,
223
00:09:04,152 --> 00:09:06,458
they must marry.
224
00:09:06,546 --> 00:09:08,765
[British accent]: But I am
betrothed to a goatherd.
225
00:09:08,852 --> 00:09:10,593
Is that a smile?
Are you actually having fun?
226
00:09:10,680 --> 00:09:15,206
[laughs] Uh... yes, but I really
have to get back to work.
227
00:09:15,293 --> 00:09:16,120
Let me help you.
228
00:09:16,207 --> 00:09:17,774
We tried that.
229
00:09:17,861 --> 00:09:19,254
BARRY [over speaker]:
Give him a chance...
230
00:09:20,734 --> 00:09:22,431
Barry, what did we talk about?
231
00:09:22,518 --> 00:09:25,042
Digital boundaries.
232
00:09:25,129 --> 00:09:28,785
Am I the only one
feeling a connection here?
233
00:09:28,872 --> 00:09:30,613
Of course not.
234
00:09:30,700 --> 00:09:34,008
But, because of that,
you're gonna be a distraction.
235
00:09:34,095 --> 00:09:37,185
Well, I-I promise
to wear a conservative top.
236
00:09:37,272 --> 00:09:40,405
And to tape down
all my fun parts.
237
00:09:42,190 --> 00:09:44,496
Uh... All right.
I will let you help.
238
00:09:44,584 --> 00:09:47,021
But, until we're done,
239
00:09:47,108 --> 00:09:48,936
it has to be all work
and no play.
240
00:09:49,023 --> 00:09:51,895
Deal. But I'm--
you're gonna have to let me
241
00:09:51,982 --> 00:09:52,069
tape down your fun parts.
242
00:09:55,246 --> 00:09:57,292
♪ Men.♪
243
00:09:57,379 --> 00:09:58,206
You got this? You ready?[laughs]
244
00:09:58,293 --> 00:10:00,208
Mm-hmm.
245
00:10:00,295 --> 00:10:01,122
LARRY & ALAN:
One...
246
00:10:01,209 --> 00:10:02,123
two...
247
00:10:02,210 --> 00:10:03,167
three...
248
00:10:03,254 --> 00:10:04,429
four...
249
00:10:04,516 --> 00:10:05,735
five... cherries...!
250
00:10:05,822 --> 00:10:07,171
♪ Ta-da! ♪
[laughs]
251
00:10:07,258 --> 00:10:09,043
Wow!
252
00:10:09,130 --> 00:10:10,218
Wow. You did that
with your tongue?Mm-hmm.
253
00:10:10,305 --> 00:10:11,741
But I-- trust me
when I tell you,
254
00:10:11,828 --> 00:10:13,743
uh, that I am giving you
a standing ovation.
255
00:10:13,830 --> 00:10:15,136
[laughs]
256
00:10:16,877 --> 00:10:20,010
Trust me when I tell you,
I have an erection.
257
00:10:20,097 --> 00:10:22,360
Isn't she great?
258
00:10:22,447 --> 00:10:24,188
Yeah, she's great.
259
00:10:24,275 --> 00:10:25,799
So, uh... you work with Larry?
260
00:10:25,886 --> 00:10:27,104
Do you manage musicians too?
261
00:10:27,191 --> 00:10:29,237
No. I'm in talent relations.
262
00:10:29,324 --> 00:10:31,674
Basically, myjob is to make
sure everyone's happy.
263
00:10:31,761 --> 00:10:34,459
Well, job well done tonight.
I-I can't remember the last time
264
00:10:34,546 --> 00:10:36,374
I had so much fun on a date.
[laughs]
265
00:10:36,461 --> 00:10:38,159
Maybe the problem's you, Jeff.
266
00:10:38,246 --> 00:10:40,422
I don't think so.
267
00:10:40,509 --> 00:10:42,554
I think you're yummy.
268
00:10:42,642 --> 00:10:45,993
Well, uh... I have been
using a coconut body butter.GWEN: Oh.
269
00:10:46,080 --> 00:10:47,385
Didn't I tell you
these two would hit it off?
270
00:10:47,472 --> 00:10:49,997
Next stop, couples trip
to wine country.
271
00:10:50,084 --> 00:10:52,608
Can't wear a thong bikini
in wine country.
272
00:10:52,695 --> 00:10:54,218
Cabo, it is.
273
00:10:56,003 --> 00:10:58,527
You should wear
a thong, sweetie.
274
00:10:58,614 --> 00:11:00,660
Another great idea.
275
00:11:00,747 --> 00:11:03,401
Oh... I just got invited to a
party in the hills tonight.
276
00:11:03,488 --> 00:11:04,533
You guys want to go?
277
00:11:04,620 --> 00:11:05,665
Yes!
No!Yes!
278
00:11:05,752 --> 00:11:08,232
Come on,
aren't you having fun?
279
00:11:08,319 --> 00:11:09,799
Look, if you don't want to go,
280
00:11:09,886 --> 00:11:11,714
I can give the guys
a ride to the party.
281
00:11:11,801 --> 00:11:12,672
Jeff in the front...
282
00:11:12,759 --> 00:11:14,325
Larry in the rear...
283
00:11:14,412 --> 00:11:16,284
It'll be tight but,
284
00:11:16,371 --> 00:11:17,285
we can make it work.
285
00:11:17,372 --> 00:11:19,722
Aw...
286
00:11:19,809 --> 00:11:20,331
I don't think
it'd be that tight.
287
00:11:23,987 --> 00:11:25,902
Oh, I'm going to the party.
288
00:11:25,989 --> 00:11:28,165
Uh, uh, let's just
give it a minute to...[Lyndsey sighs]
289
00:11:28,252 --> 00:11:29,297
Crowd's still on its feet.
290
00:11:32,039 --> 00:11:34,519
♪ Men.♪
291
00:11:41,178 --> 00:11:42,092
Um...
292
00:11:42,179 --> 00:11:44,181
Um...
293
00:11:44,268 --> 00:11:46,401
Wow. Uh, looks
like we're overdressed.
294
00:11:46,488 --> 00:11:47,315
I can fix that.
295
00:11:50,187 --> 00:11:51,058
Gwen!
296
00:11:51,145 --> 00:11:52,102
Yeah, come on.
297
00:11:52,189 --> 00:11:53,364
It's a swingers' party.
298
00:11:53,451 --> 00:11:55,540
All right. Let's do this thing.
299
00:11:55,627 --> 00:11:57,760
♪ Men.♪
300
00:12:02,156 --> 00:12:03,374
[thunder crashing]
301
00:12:03,461 --> 00:12:05,115
♪ Men.♪
302
00:12:07,291 --> 00:12:09,424
[sighs] It's like
a hundred degrees in here.
303
00:12:09,511 --> 00:12:10,904
Yeah, right?
304
00:12:10,991 --> 00:12:12,819
I've got frozen
peas in my crotch.
305
00:12:12,906 --> 00:12:13,950
What?
306
00:12:14,037 --> 00:12:15,517
I got a bag of frozen peas,
307
00:12:15,604 --> 00:12:17,084
and I put 'em down my pants.
It's delightful.
308
00:12:17,171 --> 00:12:18,085
Okay. You know what?
309
00:12:18,172 --> 00:12:19,608
This is ridiculous.
310
00:12:19,695 --> 00:12:21,305
We gotta be able to
fix this radiator.
311
00:12:21,392 --> 00:12:23,003
I've got a call in,
they're coming out tomorrow.
312
00:12:23,090 --> 00:12:25,919
Tomorrow?
313
00:12:26,006 --> 00:12:27,268
Come on!
314
00:12:27,355 --> 00:12:30,010
We got three geniuses here.
315
00:12:30,097 --> 00:12:31,359
Yeah, and one of 'em
316
00:12:31,446 --> 00:12:32,403
has frozen peas
in his underwear.
317
00:12:34,275 --> 00:12:36,277
What underwear?
318
00:12:36,364 --> 00:12:38,366
Still, we can make this work.
319
00:12:38,453 --> 00:12:42,457
Yeah. I mean, it's--
clearly the-the heat is...
320
00:12:42,544 --> 00:12:43,893
emanating from, uh...
321
00:12:43,980 --> 00:12:45,852
from this device.
322
00:12:45,939 --> 00:12:48,768
We just, we just
need to... rebootit.
323
00:12:57,211 --> 00:12:57,994
You say the guy's
coming out tomorrow?
324
00:12:58,081 --> 00:13:00,910
Yes, geniuses.
325
00:13:00,997 --> 00:13:02,303
Now, will you
help me figure out
326
00:13:02,390 --> 00:13:03,913
why this algorithm
isn't working?
327
00:13:04,000 --> 00:13:06,133
Maybe it's on a Java break.
328
00:13:06,220 --> 00:13:07,656
[Barry laughs]
329
00:13:07,743 --> 00:13:09,179
Did you get it?
Like java and Java...?
330
00:13:12,530 --> 00:13:14,010
That joke killed
at MIT open mic night.
331
00:13:16,099 --> 00:13:17,535
What do you got?
332
00:13:17,622 --> 00:13:21,539
You-- oh... this
pointer is undefined.
333
00:13:21,626 --> 00:13:24,412
Oh. Right. Of course.
334
00:13:26,675 --> 00:13:30,026
So, uh... guess you
got it from here.
335
00:13:30,113 --> 00:13:32,246
What are we waiting for?
336
00:13:32,333 --> 00:13:34,857
I mean, let's just do this.
337
00:13:34,944 --> 00:13:36,163
Really?
338
00:13:38,078 --> 00:13:38,992
What about Barry?
339
00:13:39,079 --> 00:13:41,951
He can film it.
340
00:13:42,038 --> 00:13:42,996
What?
341
00:13:43,083 --> 00:13:44,475
I mean, we're gonna want to
342
00:13:44,562 --> 00:13:46,564
watch it again and again.
343
00:13:46,651 --> 00:13:48,784
You know, maybe even
put it on the Internet.
344
00:13:48,871 --> 00:13:50,046
This is a pleasant surprise.
[laughs]
345
00:13:52,614 --> 00:13:54,616
Here, let's test it.
346
00:13:54,703 --> 00:13:59,926
Oh... yeah, right, the device.Mm-hmm.
347
00:14:00,013 --> 00:14:01,057
That's exactly what
we were talking about.
348
00:14:01,144 --> 00:14:05,322
Good. Now put that on.
349
00:14:05,409 --> 00:14:07,890
[whispering]:
And stop thinking about sex.
350
00:14:07,977 --> 00:14:10,806
Well, it's harder than it looks.
351
00:14:10,893 --> 00:14:13,113
Well, it's a good thing
you taped it down.
352
00:14:15,637 --> 00:14:17,421
Now...
353
00:14:17,508 --> 00:14:20,294
the first thing you think
will be the first human thought
354
00:14:20,381 --> 00:14:21,077
recognized by a computer.
355
00:14:27,040 --> 00:14:28,476
It's not even
reading the device.
356
00:14:28,563 --> 00:14:29,564
Now, you know what?
357
00:14:29,651 --> 00:14:31,609
I think I know what it is.
358
00:14:34,656 --> 00:14:36,136
If it's any consolation,
359
00:14:36,223 --> 00:14:37,180
I thought she was
talking about sex, too.
360
00:14:39,313 --> 00:14:42,185
P.S. Just throwing
this out there:
361
00:14:42,272 --> 00:14:43,708
totally up for filming.
362
00:14:43,795 --> 00:14:45,145
♪ Men.♪
363
00:14:45,232 --> 00:14:47,887
Uh, uh-uh, let me
ask you something.
364
00:14:47,974 --> 00:14:49,714
Um... uh, how do I put this?
365
00:14:49,801 --> 00:14:53,153
Um... i-i-is there a "grow room"
before the "show room"?
366
00:14:53,240 --> 00:14:55,720
There's a blow room.
367
00:14:55,807 --> 00:14:57,157
How 'bout this?
368
00:14:57,244 --> 00:14:58,462
You said you wanted to
spice things up.
369
00:14:58,549 --> 00:15:00,508
This seems pretty spicy.
370
00:15:00,595 --> 00:15:02,249
And it sure beats the hell
out of couples' therapy,
huh, Jeff?
371
00:15:02,336 --> 00:15:04,773
Uh, y-you know,
if Lyndsey is uncomfortable,
372
00:15:04,860 --> 00:15:06,383
why don't you guys take off?
373
00:15:06,470 --> 00:15:07,907
Some people can't handle
374
00:15:07,994 --> 00:15:08,820
seeing their partner
with someone else.
375
00:15:08,908 --> 00:15:11,780
You know what? I'm good.
376
00:15:11,867 --> 00:15:13,913
Besides, I've always
wanted to sleep with Jeff.
377
00:15:14,000 --> 00:15:14,652
Wait. What?
378
00:15:14,739 --> 00:15:16,176
You heard me.
379
00:15:16,263 --> 00:15:18,874
Let's do this thing.
380
00:15:18,961 --> 00:15:20,310
I'm gonna go get us
some drinks.
381
00:15:20,397 --> 00:15:22,399
I'll come with you.
382
00:15:22,486 --> 00:15:24,880
You're gonna be
hearing that a lot tonight.
383
00:15:24,967 --> 00:15:26,534
Isn't this great, Jeff?
384
00:15:26,621 --> 00:15:28,449
I get to bang Gwen,
and you get to bang Lyndsey.
385
00:15:28,536 --> 00:15:30,799
Yeah, that's one way to go.
386
00:15:30,886 --> 00:15:33,628
Um... Or I-I could
have sex with Gwen,
387
00:15:33,715 --> 00:15:34,934
and you could do
whatever the hell you want.
388
00:15:35,021 --> 00:15:36,500
[laughs] Come on,
you're telling me
389
00:15:36,587 --> 00:15:37,937
when you're nailing someone,
390
00:15:38,024 --> 00:15:39,068
you never imagined
it was Lyndsey?
391
00:15:39,155 --> 00:15:40,504
Never once.
392
00:15:40,591 --> 00:15:42,202
Well, you got
the green light, buddy.
393
00:15:42,289 --> 00:15:43,899
This is so exciting.
394
00:15:43,986 --> 00:15:45,509
I haven't had sex with
somebody new in a long time.
395
00:15:48,208 --> 00:15:49,470
Yeah, me neither.
396
00:15:50,906 --> 00:15:53,082
♪ Men.♪
397
00:15:53,169 --> 00:15:54,518
You know...
398
00:15:54,605 --> 00:15:56,346
I'm cool with it
if you want to word naked.
399
00:15:56,433 --> 00:15:58,914
Okay, there's a reason
I didn't respond
400
00:15:59,001 --> 00:16:00,350
the first time you said it.
401
00:16:02,700 --> 00:16:03,223
Walden?
402
00:16:11,666 --> 00:16:13,407
I... need... it.
403
00:16:15,800 --> 00:16:16,801
Walden.
404
00:16:16,888 --> 00:16:18,890
I need it.What?
405
00:16:18,978 --> 00:16:19,587
The file you were
supposed to send me.
406
00:16:19,674 --> 00:16:20,631
I need it.
407
00:16:20,718 --> 00:16:23,330
Oh... uh, yeah, right.
408
00:16:23,417 --> 00:16:24,592
The file. Sorry.
409
00:16:30,250 --> 00:16:33,253
Is... this...
what... you... want...?
410
00:16:37,387 --> 00:16:39,868
Nicole.
Is this what you wanted?
411
00:16:39,955 --> 00:16:41,174
Huh?
412
00:16:41,261 --> 00:16:42,827
The file. It's right here.
413
00:16:42,914 --> 00:16:44,568
Oh. Right. Yeah.
414
00:16:44,655 --> 00:16:46,048
Let me just...
415
00:16:47,354 --> 00:16:48,572
put it in.
416
00:16:51,010 --> 00:16:52,054
Oh, wow...
417
00:16:52,141 --> 00:16:55,014
This really sucks.
418
00:16:55,101 --> 00:16:56,885
We have so much work to do,
and all I can think about
419
00:16:56,972 --> 00:16:58,234
is you and me, and oh, wow.
420
00:16:58,321 --> 00:17:00,236
Gotta stop
thinking about sex.
421
00:17:00,323 --> 00:17:02,064
How are we gonna do that?
422
00:17:02,151 --> 00:17:03,761
BARRY:
Oh, yeah.
423
00:17:03,848 --> 00:17:10,072
That's...
what... daddy... likes...
424
00:17:16,035 --> 00:17:17,079
And that did it.
[clears throat]
425
00:17:17,166 --> 00:17:20,126
♪ Men.♪
426
00:17:20,213 --> 00:17:21,170
Is this seat taken?
427
00:17:21,257 --> 00:17:22,563
Oh.
428
00:17:22,650 --> 00:17:23,694
Very funny.
429
00:17:23,781 --> 00:17:24,826
Okay, good news, bad news.
430
00:17:24,913 --> 00:17:26,349
Bad news, Larry's with Gwen.
431
00:17:26,436 --> 00:17:28,221
Yeah. Not a big surprise.
432
00:17:28,308 --> 00:17:30,614
She's got boobs that could
save your life
433
00:17:30,701 --> 00:17:31,876
in the event
of a water landing.
434
00:17:31,963 --> 00:17:33,748
But the good news is,
435
00:17:33,835 --> 00:17:35,315
guess who's got two thumbs,
and is banging you tonight.
436
00:17:35,402 --> 00:17:38,057
This guy...!
437
00:17:40,624 --> 00:17:41,799
Jeff Probst?!
438
00:17:41,886 --> 00:17:43,584
You ready, babe?Oh, yeah.
439
00:17:43,671 --> 00:17:44,976
Wait! What the hell?
440
00:17:45,064 --> 00:17:46,891
I told you I wanted
to sleep with Jeff.
441
00:17:46,978 --> 00:17:48,197
But I'm Jeff.
442
00:17:48,284 --> 00:17:49,590
No, you're Alan.
443
00:17:49,677 --> 00:17:52,332
So, what do you say,
blow room first?
444
00:17:52,419 --> 00:17:54,029
If you told Larry
you were gay,
445
00:17:54,116 --> 00:17:55,422
none of this
would have happened.
446
00:17:55,509 --> 00:17:56,814
[sighs]Wait. That guy's not gay?
447
00:17:58,642 --> 00:18:00,557
♪ Men.♪
448
00:18:00,644 --> 00:18:02,255
[moans]
449
00:18:02,342 --> 00:18:03,299
Thanks again for
the birthday pudding, you guys.
450
00:18:05,345 --> 00:18:06,389
I love pudding.
451
00:18:06,476 --> 00:18:08,435
It's even fun to say.
452
00:18:08,522 --> 00:18:10,393
Pu-dding.
453
00:18:10,480 --> 00:18:14,267
I'm putting pudding in my mouth.
454
00:18:14,354 --> 00:18:15,877
[laughs hysterically]
455
00:18:15,964 --> 00:18:17,313
[laughing]:
Oh, my God.
That's funny.
456
00:18:17,400 --> 00:18:18,923
[Barry continues laughing]
457
00:18:19,010 --> 00:18:22,144
Looks like the
birthday weed is kicking in.
458
00:18:22,231 --> 00:18:24,538
Putting pudding.
Putting pudding.
459
00:18:24,625 --> 00:18:26,975
Okay. Now I'm gonna
switch it up,
460
00:18:27,062 --> 00:18:29,499
and see if you can
tell the difference.
461
00:18:29,586 --> 00:18:33,460
Pudding putting.
462
00:18:33,547 --> 00:18:35,070
Pudding putting.
463
00:18:35,157 --> 00:18:36,680
Oh, my God.
I got it.
464
00:18:37,507 --> 00:18:39,248
Did you?
465
00:18:39,335 --> 00:18:40,902
The-The-The function.
466
00:18:40,989 --> 00:18:42,469
It's recursive.
467
00:18:42,556 --> 00:18:43,687
It keeps getting stuck
in the subroutine.
468
00:18:43,774 --> 00:18:45,124
This is, this is it.
469
00:18:45,211 --> 00:18:46,081
You sure?
470
00:18:46,168 --> 00:18:48,866
Yeah. No, check it out.
471
00:18:48,953 --> 00:18:50,477
This is history.
472
00:18:50,564 --> 00:18:52,131
This is like
Alexander Graham Bell saying,
473
00:18:52,218 --> 00:18:53,958
"Watson, come here."
474
00:18:54,045 --> 00:18:57,788
This is Neil Armstrong saying,
"One small step for man."
475
00:18:57,875 --> 00:18:59,529
This is Walden Schmidt saying...
476
00:18:59,616 --> 00:19:01,401
FEMALE COMPUTER VOICE:
Pudding.
477
00:19:02,489 --> 00:19:04,404
Aw, damn it, Barry!
478
00:19:04,491 --> 00:19:05,361
You put pudding in my head!
479
00:19:05,448 --> 00:19:07,755
Putting pudding.
480
00:19:08,886 --> 00:19:11,498
Or, putting pudding.
481
00:19:11,585 --> 00:19:14,544
I was gonna say,
"The future is now."
482
00:19:14,631 --> 00:19:16,851
"The future is now"?
483
00:19:16,938 --> 00:19:19,288
What is this,
the 1912 World's Fair?
484
00:19:21,072 --> 00:19:22,639
Excuse me, guys.What?
485
00:19:22,726 --> 00:19:24,250
I think the computer
just read his thoughts.
486
00:19:25,729 --> 00:19:26,687
We did it!Oh, my God.
487
00:19:26,774 --> 00:19:28,384
We did it!It worked.
488
00:19:28,471 --> 00:19:30,473
[screaming]It worked!
489
00:19:30,560 --> 00:19:32,258
[laughing, yelling]Yes!
490
00:19:32,345 --> 00:19:34,477
FEMALE COMPUTER VOICE:
Someone's not wearing a bra.
491
00:19:34,564 --> 00:19:36,087
What?!I...
492
00:19:36,175 --> 00:19:37,698
FEMALE COMPUTER VOICE:
Stop thinking about sex.
493
00:19:37,785 --> 00:19:40,918
Baseball. Boobs. Boobs.
Baseball. Baseball.
494
00:19:43,704 --> 00:19:46,315
FEMALE COMPUTER VOICE:
This was a great idea, Walden.
495
00:19:46,402 --> 00:19:48,491
It was.
You're so beautiful.
496
00:19:48,578 --> 00:19:53,322
Thank you.
And you're so handsome.
497
00:19:53,409 --> 00:19:55,672
I am so turned on, Nicole.
498
00:19:55,759 --> 00:19:56,456
So am I.
499
00:19:56,543 --> 00:19:59,154
Uh-oh. Baseball.
500
00:19:59,241 --> 00:20:01,417
Baseball. Baseball.
501
00:20:01,504 --> 00:20:02,418
Oh, crap.
502
00:20:02,505 --> 00:20:05,029
Now I want pudding.
503
00:20:05,116 --> 00:20:06,683
♪ Men.♪
504
00:20:11,035 --> 00:20:13,037
♪ Men.♪
505
00:20:17,694 --> 00:20:21,655
This is gym class
all over again.
506
00:20:21,742 --> 00:20:25,746
Last man picked
and I have an unwanted boner.
507
00:20:25,833 --> 00:20:27,791
I wouldn't say it's unwanted.
508
00:20:29,053 --> 00:20:31,012
Oh. Hello.
509
00:20:31,099 --> 00:20:35,146
Well, looks like
it's just you and me.
510
00:20:35,234 --> 00:20:37,018
Yeah... Jeff Probst
stole my girlfriend.
511
00:20:37,105 --> 00:20:38,062
Bastard.
[laughs]
512
00:20:38,149 --> 00:20:41,240
He's my grandson.
513
00:20:41,327 --> 00:20:45,200
Wow! Uh, I-I-I can't believe
he'd bring his grandmother
514
00:20:45,287 --> 00:20:46,810
to a party like this.
515
00:20:46,897 --> 00:20:49,117
[chuckling]:
He can't bring me
to my own party.
516
00:20:49,204 --> 00:20:51,598
Wait, but this is your house?
517
00:20:51,685 --> 00:20:52,599
That's right.
518
00:20:52,686 --> 00:20:54,035
What do you say?
519
00:20:54,122 --> 00:20:56,864
You want to go road test
this new hip?
520
00:20:56,951 --> 00:21:00,084
All right. Why not?
521
00:21:00,171 --> 00:21:02,870
Well, we'll start
in the grow room. Come on.
522
00:21:02,957 --> 00:21:04,741
Oh, this is a beautiful house.
Do you have a guest room?
523
00:21:04,828 --> 00:21:06,656
Captioning sponsored by
CBS and WARNER BROS. TELEVISION
524
00:21:06,743 --> 00:21:08,745
and TOYOTA.
525
00:21:08,832 --> 00:21:10,312
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
access.wgbh.org
36149
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