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1
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♪ The Simpsons ♪
2
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_
3
00:00:07,883 --> 00:00:09,968
Simpson, you're brand-new here,
4
00:00:10,052 --> 00:00:13,305
but I have a nose for men,
and you stink of reliability.
5
00:00:13,388 --> 00:00:15,807
I'm putting you in charge
of the big red button.
6
00:00:16,391 --> 00:00:17,976
I won't let you down, sir.
7
00:00:18,060 --> 00:00:22,481
I smell you won't. Never touch the
button, unless the meltdown alarm sounds.
8
00:00:22,564 --> 00:00:25,609
Then, and only then, push the button.
9
00:00:25,692 --> 00:00:26,985
[MACHINERY POWERS DOWN]
10
00:00:27,069 --> 00:00:28,487
[WORKERS CLAMORING]
11
00:00:28,570 --> 00:00:32,866
Sorry, you can understand this is very
exciting for me. I mean, a button!
12
00:00:32,950 --> 00:00:34,243
[CHUCKLING] Of course.
13
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While our schools and hospitals go without
power during the costly restart process,
14
00:00:38,330 --> 00:00:40,082
remember: no alarm, no button.
15
00:00:40,165 --> 00:00:41,583
[MACHINERY POWERS DOWN]
16
00:00:41,667 --> 00:00:42,960
[ALL GROANING] Aw.
17
00:00:43,043 --> 00:00:45,337
I will never get tired of this.
18
00:00:46,838 --> 00:00:49,466
[ALARM RINGING]
19
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[GROANING]
20
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[RINGING CONTINUES]
21
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Lenny, button!
22
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[LENNY GRUMBLES]
23
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[BOTH] State park, family field trip!
24
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[GROANS]
25
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[BOTH] State park,
state park, state park!
26
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Don't forget sunscreen and bug spray.
27
00:01:21,790 --> 00:01:22,791
[COUGHS]
28
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- [STRAINING] State park. State park.
- [STRAINING] State park. State park.
29
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[BOTH GROAN]
30
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[GROANS] I worked all week at
the world's most boring job,
31
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and now I have to spend
time in the natural world
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that I devoted my life to destroy.
33
00:01:35,470 --> 00:01:38,140
You're the one who
suggested a family outing.
34
00:01:38,223 --> 00:01:40,934
What part of that implied I was coming?
35
00:01:44,646 --> 00:01:46,148
I can hear the waterfall.
36
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There it is in all its majestic glory.
The stamp station!
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Oh, yeah.
38
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[BART CHUCKLES]
39
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[BOTH SIGH]
40
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Nine more stamps to go.
41
00:01:58,660 --> 00:02:00,746
Then we'll have all the stamps.
42
00:02:01,621 --> 00:02:03,373
[GROANS]
43
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Weekends are for relaxing.
How am I supposed to do that here at...
44
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- _
- Shut up.
45
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In the olden days,
a bootlegger was a shady character...
46
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You're blocking the stamps, lady.
47
00:02:19,097 --> 00:02:22,517
What are you looking at instead
of being present with your family?
48
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Really? Cross sections
of breakfast burritos?
49
00:02:26,855 --> 00:02:30,108
I was ranking those.
Now I have to start over.
50
00:02:33,570 --> 00:02:34,905
[BELL JINGLES]
51
00:02:35,489 --> 00:02:37,783
Look, we got every stamp.
52
00:02:37,866 --> 00:02:38,909
What's our prize?
53
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You get your Wilderness
Explorer Completion Trophy.
54
00:02:41,995 --> 00:02:43,163
Good job.
55
00:02:43,705 --> 00:02:46,208
Certified trailblazers.
56
00:02:47,876 --> 00:02:52,255
Mom, can we get souvenirs so we have
something to remember this trip by?
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One souvenir each.
58
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[GROANS] The gift shop.
This is where time goes to die.
59
00:02:58,970 --> 00:03:02,557
Can't you fake a little
enthusiasm for five minutes?
60
00:03:02,641 --> 00:03:04,685
I can't pretend to like things I don't.
61
00:03:04,768 --> 00:03:07,729
You do it all the time.
It's called parenting.
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Huh? Well, I do like lying to children.
63
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[HOMER] Activate parent superpower,
fake enthusiasm.
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Mmm?
65
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I know which souvenir I'd pick out if
I wanted to have fun. Stress balls!
66
00:03:24,913 --> 00:03:26,331
Oh, oh!
67
00:03:26,415 --> 00:03:30,961
I can feel the stress leaving my body.
Tell me that's not medically fun.
68
00:03:31,044 --> 00:03:35,757
It does have a therapeutic property
we doctors call squishiness.
69
00:03:35,841 --> 00:03:39,594
Business lady. Business got you stressed?
Have a squeeze of this.
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00:03:41,513 --> 00:03:42,848
Excuse me, miss.
71
00:03:42,931 --> 00:03:45,851
What happened to the woman who was
standing here just a moment ago?
72
00:03:45,934 --> 00:03:47,477
Was that your mother?
73
00:03:47,561 --> 00:03:50,230
No, it's me all along.
74
00:03:50,313 --> 00:03:53,775
Is there anything these balls can't do?
75
00:03:53,859 --> 00:03:55,485
Dad, can we get stress balls?
76
00:03:55,569 --> 00:03:56,570
Please?
77
00:03:56,653 --> 00:03:59,865
What a great idea. Hurry, do it quick.
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00:03:59,948 --> 00:04:01,950
[CLAMORING]
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- He sold me.
- He sold me more.
80
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Arriba! Ándale, stress! Adios!
81
00:04:07,497 --> 00:04:10,292
[VOCALIZING]
82
00:04:10,375 --> 00:04:13,295
Most intriguing.
83
00:04:15,005 --> 00:04:16,089
[DOORBELL RINGS]
84
00:04:16,173 --> 00:04:19,050
Dad, there's a creepy guy in a
raincoat who wants to talk to you.
85
00:04:19,134 --> 00:04:21,595
Well, run him off.
What do I pay you for?
86
00:04:21,678 --> 00:04:24,389
Wait, please,
I have two words to say to you.
87
00:04:24,473 --> 00:04:27,768
Oh, yeah!
88
00:04:27,851 --> 00:04:29,519
Duffman!
89
00:04:29,603 --> 00:04:30,937
Not anymore, actually.
90
00:04:31,021 --> 00:04:35,108
The Duff Corporation has, uh,
retired that character forever.
91
00:04:35,192 --> 00:04:39,780
All the old forms of
advertising are now passé.
92
00:04:39,863 --> 00:04:42,783
Corporate spokesmen,
print ads, TV spots.
93
00:04:42,866 --> 00:04:44,910
Today's kids,
they can't even sing the jingles.
94
00:04:44,993 --> 00:04:46,703
That can't be true.
95
00:04:46,787 --> 00:04:48,371
Boy, finish this tune.
96
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♪ Meow, meow, meow, meow
Meow, meow, meow, meow ♪
97
00:04:50,540 --> 00:04:52,626
♪ Meow, meow, meow, meow... ♪
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00:04:52,709 --> 00:04:53,835
Woof?
99
00:04:53,919 --> 00:04:55,712
God help us.
100
00:04:55,796 --> 00:04:58,089
The old ways are dead.
101
00:04:58,173 --> 00:05:01,468
Today, advertising is all
about undercover marketing,
102
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where the spontaneity of a
regular person's excitement
103
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is worth a thousand "Where's the beefs?"
104
00:05:07,265 --> 00:05:09,684
[LAUGHS] Where was that beef?
105
00:05:09,768 --> 00:05:15,690
And undercover marketing is exactly what
you did yesterday in that gift shop.
106
00:05:15,774 --> 00:05:18,777
All I did was pretend to love
some stupid, terrible crap.
107
00:05:18,860 --> 00:05:23,073
Homer, you have a gift,
and corporate America needs you.
108
00:05:25,158 --> 00:05:26,827
[LISA] "Enthusiasm on Demand."
109
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You pretend to like things to
make other people buy them?
110
00:05:30,497 --> 00:05:34,918
It's the world's newest profession
offering love for money.
111
00:05:35,001 --> 00:05:37,963
You could make $500 in just one hour.
112
00:05:38,046 --> 00:05:41,716
As a late great man once said,
"Oh, yeah!"
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[TIRES SCREECH]
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Mmm?
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"Welcome to your first enthusi-task.
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Convince people to buy a
self-balancing unicycle."
117
00:05:54,855 --> 00:05:59,568
Hmm... If I can find just the
right group of potential customers.
118
00:05:59,651 --> 00:06:04,823
Hope dims for the trapped miners as faith
leaders conduct a moment of silence.
119
00:06:04,906 --> 00:06:08,410
Look at me if you want to see
a guy having the time of his life.
120
00:06:08,493 --> 00:06:11,121
- [GIGGLES]
- [CROWD CHEERS]
121
00:06:11,204 --> 00:06:14,583
We gathered here today in hopes
of a miracle, and we got one.
122
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A self-balancing unicycle sure to
be on everyone's Christmas list.
123
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[CHEERING]
124
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[♪ EERIE JINGLE PLAYS]
125
00:06:24,551 --> 00:06:29,764
Homer S. may be the key to completing
Project Dark Contrivance. Praise Enroy.
126
00:06:29,848 --> 00:06:33,977
Praise Enroy! Praise him indeed.
127
00:06:34,060 --> 00:06:37,188
You over-praised Enroy.
No malted treat for you.
128
00:06:37,856 --> 00:06:40,817
[♪ DISCORDANT CHORD PLAYS]
129
00:06:40,901 --> 00:06:46,406
[♪ EERIE JINGLE PLAYS]
130
00:06:49,326 --> 00:06:56,249
Marge, this veggie omelet is delicious!
I don't miss the bacon or sausage at all!
131
00:06:56,333 --> 00:06:58,835
I'm so glad to hear that.
132
00:06:58,918 --> 00:07:03,006
Or are you just practicing for your
new job of pretending to like things?
133
00:07:03,089 --> 00:07:05,842
Nope. It's that good.
134
00:07:05,925 --> 00:07:07,636
Why, thank you.
135
00:07:07,719 --> 00:07:11,264
[HUMMING]
136
00:07:11,931 --> 00:07:14,100
It's great you're
enjoying your side hustle,
137
00:07:14,184 --> 00:07:16,770
but I hope you're not
neglecting your front hustle.
138
00:07:16,853 --> 00:07:18,146
Oh, I quit that job.
139
00:07:18,229 --> 00:07:19,439
[LAUGHS]
140
00:07:19,522 --> 00:07:22,525
I should be furious that
you're leaving with no notice,
141
00:07:22,609 --> 00:07:27,072
but your sincere enthusiasm for taking
this job and shoving it has won me over.
142
00:07:27,155 --> 00:07:28,990
Consider it shoved.
143
00:07:29,074 --> 00:07:30,659
I'm just too good at my new job.
144
00:07:30,742 --> 00:07:33,745
I've already sold pilgrim hats,
creatine snuff,
145
00:07:33,828 --> 00:07:35,580
and this great ear de-waxer.
146
00:07:35,664 --> 00:07:39,542
[GIGGLING]
147
00:07:39,626 --> 00:07:43,922
I bet there's nothing so distasteful
this guy can't pretend to like it.
148
00:07:44,005 --> 00:07:45,340
- [CELL PHONE DINGS]
- Ooh.
149
00:07:45,423 --> 00:07:49,719
Here's my next assignment.
I'm promoting...
150
00:07:49,803 --> 00:07:53,181
No, no, anything but that!
151
00:07:56,351 --> 00:08:01,314
Drink up. Quality bowling requires some
boozing to beat the heebie-hoohaws.
152
00:08:01,981 --> 00:08:06,695
None for me. I've found something...
[GAGS] ...better.
153
00:08:07,195 --> 00:08:08,738
UnDuff Nothin'.
154
00:08:08,822 --> 00:08:11,991
A new non-alcoholic beer
that'll make you forget
155
00:08:12,075 --> 00:08:14,911
all those times you were blackout drunk.
156
00:08:14,994 --> 00:08:19,249
Non-alcoholic beer?
That could lead to non-alcoholism.
157
00:08:19,332 --> 00:08:22,419
Don't take my unslurred word for it.
Chug it for yourself.
158
00:08:23,128 --> 00:08:25,672
Well, I know you socially, so I'm sold.
159
00:08:26,840 --> 00:08:29,426
[♪ TENSE MUSIC PLAYS]
160
00:08:31,845 --> 00:08:33,847
[GRUNTS] No, I can't do it.
161
00:08:36,725 --> 00:08:40,103
Too much! You ask too much!
162
00:08:40,186 --> 00:08:44,107
Tell me to sell time-shares to toddlers,
but not this!
163
00:08:44,190 --> 00:08:45,608
[PHONE RINGS]
164
00:08:45,692 --> 00:08:47,902
Report to corporate at 9:00 tomorrow.
165
00:08:47,986 --> 00:08:49,362
And give yourself time.
166
00:08:49,446 --> 00:08:51,906
You'll be parking very
far from the building.
167
00:08:52,657 --> 00:08:56,494
No!
168
00:08:58,288 --> 00:09:03,001
[♪ EERIE JINGLE PLAYING]
169
00:09:06,588 --> 00:09:12,677
Inspiring, aren't they? They promote
corporate efflorescence, praise Enroy.
170
00:09:12,761 --> 00:09:15,263
[HOMER] Nothing concerning so far.
171
00:09:15,346 --> 00:09:17,015
Salutations, Homer.
172
00:09:17,098 --> 00:09:21,436
Your diligence and co-operability has
earned you these chocolate-covered bees.
173
00:09:23,063 --> 00:09:25,523
Mmm, "sting-y."
174
00:09:26,191 --> 00:09:28,985
I'm really sorry I couldn't
fake-like fake beer.
175
00:09:29,069 --> 00:09:31,362
Homer, sanguinate yourself.
176
00:09:31,446 --> 00:09:36,034
Eventually, every enthusiaster is called
to love a product they simply cannot.
177
00:09:36,117 --> 00:09:40,622
You're the unfortunate victim of your
personality's likes and dislikes.
178
00:09:40,705 --> 00:09:42,540
Stupid personality.
179
00:09:42,624 --> 00:09:45,710
But we've developed a simple
procedure that separates you
180
00:09:45,794 --> 00:09:48,463
from the tastes and desires
that make you you.
181
00:09:48,546 --> 00:09:50,715
We call it "seperance."
182
00:09:50,799 --> 00:09:52,175
Praise Enroy.
183
00:09:52,258 --> 00:09:56,262
This Enroy dude sure seems praiseworthy.
184
00:09:56,346 --> 00:10:00,600
After seperance, you will never
again be disjoyous at work.
185
00:10:00,683 --> 00:10:04,979
That's been my dream ever since I
grew weary of the big red button.
186
00:10:05,063 --> 00:10:07,065
But what exactly is this procedure?
187
00:10:07,148 --> 00:10:08,149
I can answer that.
188
00:10:09,526 --> 00:10:13,113
I have no idea,
but I have had the procedure myself,
189
00:10:13,196 --> 00:10:16,241
and look at how happy I am.
190
00:10:16,324 --> 00:10:18,159
Happy.
191
00:10:18,243 --> 00:10:20,245
Why don't we get you started?
192
00:10:20,328 --> 00:10:22,747
[♪ EERIE JINGLE PLAYING]
193
00:10:25,834 --> 00:10:27,168
[WHIMPERING]
194
00:10:29,254 --> 00:10:31,381
[HOMER] Nothing concerning so far.
195
00:10:33,675 --> 00:10:35,385
[♪ EERIE MUSIC PLAYS]
196
00:10:35,927 --> 00:10:38,138
- [ELEVATOR BELL DINGS]
- [ELEVATOR ANNOUNCER] Seperance floor.
197
00:10:38,221 --> 00:10:41,766
[♪ "SONG 2" PLAYS]
198
00:10:41,850 --> 00:10:45,436
♪ Whoo-hoo! I am surgically happy ♪
199
00:10:45,520 --> 00:10:46,896
♪ Whoo-hoo ♪
200
00:10:47,438 --> 00:10:49,190
♪ That is me on my ID ♪
201
00:10:49,274 --> 00:10:50,900
♪ Whoo-hoo ♪
202
00:10:50,984 --> 00:10:52,944
♪ Hey, look, a weird doppelgänger ♪
203
00:10:53,027 --> 00:10:54,529
♪ Whoo-hoo ♪
204
00:10:54,612 --> 00:10:55,780
- [♪ SONG ENDS]
- Whoo-hoo!
205
00:10:55,864 --> 00:10:56,990
Whoo-hoo!
206
00:10:57,073 --> 00:11:00,243
There he is, Homer S.,
our brilliant team leader.
207
00:11:00,326 --> 00:11:03,163
Thanks to him,
our department is number A again.
208
00:11:03,246 --> 00:11:05,748
Look, they awarded us a walnut party.
209
00:11:05,832 --> 00:11:07,125
[HOMER EXCLAIMS] Walnuts?
210
00:11:07,208 --> 00:11:09,002
Mmm. Mmm.
211
00:11:09,669 --> 00:11:13,339
Careful with your hat of gratitude.
It's the gift of Enroy.
212
00:11:13,423 --> 00:11:15,884
This may just be the hat
of gratitude talking,
213
00:11:15,967 --> 00:11:18,636
but I love everything about this place.
214
00:11:18,720 --> 00:11:24,434
The endless corridors, the apology stool,
the distant eerie screams.
215
00:11:24,517 --> 00:11:28,479
[PERSON SCREAMS IN DISTANCE]
I'm so de-sanguinated!
216
00:11:30,064 --> 00:11:34,819
Hot crackers, new assignment!
We're selling payday loans today, people.
217
00:11:34,903 --> 00:11:39,782
60% compounding interest per day?
[CHUCKLES] They sell themselves.
218
00:11:40,783 --> 00:11:43,786
[♪ EERIE JINGLE PLAYING]
219
00:11:49,417 --> 00:11:51,461
What have you done to my husband?
220
00:11:51,544 --> 00:11:52,962
Tranquilate, Marjorie.
221
00:11:53,046 --> 00:11:55,715
Have a pickled blueberry,
and exposify the problem.
222
00:11:57,425 --> 00:11:58,968
Mm, these are well-pickled.
223
00:11:59,052 --> 00:12:01,721
Every night when my husband
comes home from working here,
224
00:12:01,804 --> 00:12:05,016
he's like a different person,
a total zombie.
225
00:12:05,099 --> 00:12:09,687
[GROANING]
226
00:12:14,317 --> 00:12:17,403
Seperance splits the
worker's mind into two modes.
227
00:12:17,487 --> 00:12:20,323
Uppie, when all their energy
is devoted to work,
228
00:12:20,406 --> 00:12:24,535
and downie, when they recharge
at home for the next workday.
229
00:12:24,619 --> 00:12:27,705
I don't wanna spend
my life with a downie.
230
00:12:27,789 --> 00:12:30,708
I have the perfect solution.
Join our company.
231
00:12:30,792 --> 00:12:32,669
Undergo seperance yourself.
232
00:12:32,752 --> 00:12:35,171
You have got to be kidding me.
233
00:12:35,255 --> 00:12:39,425
Got I? Working here with your husband,
your relationship will be new again.
234
00:12:39,509 --> 00:12:41,010
Like when you first met,
235
00:12:41,094 --> 00:12:44,764
when your Homer couldn't stand to
be away from you for one moment.
236
00:12:46,182 --> 00:12:50,937
Marge, is it true? You're gonna come
work here with me? Please say yes.
237
00:12:51,020 --> 00:12:53,398
Homer, slow down.
238
00:12:53,481 --> 00:12:54,899
[LAUGHS]
239
00:12:54,983 --> 00:12:59,404
The only bad part of working here is
missing you every second of every day.
240
00:12:59,487 --> 00:13:02,198
Let's live uppily ever after.
241
00:13:02,282 --> 00:13:04,492
This is the Homer I missed.
242
00:13:04,575 --> 00:13:08,204
There is no happier
couple than two uppies.
243
00:13:08,288 --> 00:13:13,251
Let's get separated so we
can be together forever.
244
00:13:13,334 --> 00:13:15,420
[♪ EERIE JINGLE PLAYING]
245
00:13:22,885 --> 00:13:24,846
What have I done? What have I done?
246
00:13:24,929 --> 00:13:26,431
[BOTH] ♪ Whoo-hoo! ♪
247
00:13:26,514 --> 00:13:27,515
[♪ "SONG 2" FADES OUT]
248
00:13:27,598 --> 00:13:28,891
- [♪ EERIE MUSIC PLAYS]
- _
249
00:13:29,934 --> 00:13:31,602
[♪ WHIMSICAL MUSIC PLAYS]
250
00:13:31,686 --> 00:13:33,313
W-T-Fudge?
251
00:13:33,396 --> 00:13:35,898
How are we so light
on our feet, you ask?
252
00:13:35,982 --> 00:13:40,486
It's these new pillow-soft
shoe inserts from Dr. Insteps.
253
00:13:40,570 --> 00:13:42,655
Oh. Maybe I'll pick up a pair.
254
00:13:42,739 --> 00:13:44,574
- [♪ EERIE MUSIC PLAYS]
- _
255
00:13:44,657 --> 00:13:46,826
[♪ CONGA MUSIC PLAYS]
256
00:13:49,662 --> 00:13:51,414
- [♪ EERIE MUSIC PLAYS]
- _
257
00:13:51,497 --> 00:13:54,333
Another grim vigil here
in the mining district.
258
00:13:54,417 --> 00:13:58,171
The only ray of hope,
the aroma of St. Louis-style ribs
259
00:13:58,254 --> 00:14:01,924
grilled to savory perfection on
the amazing Backpack Barbecue.
260
00:14:04,761 --> 00:14:06,345
Another great day of work.
261
00:14:07,263 --> 00:14:08,765
It's so good to be...
262
00:14:08,848 --> 00:14:12,310
- [♪ EERIE MUSIC PLAYS]
- [GROANING] ...home.
263
00:14:12,393 --> 00:14:14,687
What do you want for dinner?
264
00:14:14,771 --> 00:14:16,439
I don't care.
265
00:14:19,692 --> 00:14:22,653
Mom is eating potato chips for dinner.
266
00:14:22,737 --> 00:14:26,699
Dad's eating potato chips slowly.
267
00:14:26,783 --> 00:14:29,869
[♪ EERIE JINGLE PLAYS]
268
00:14:31,954 --> 00:14:36,250
[HOMER, MARGE GROANING]
269
00:14:38,002 --> 00:14:40,838
I've never seen Dad miss
a flying sausage in his life.
270
00:14:40,922 --> 00:14:44,842
Look at this smiley face
Mom drew on my pancakes.
271
00:14:47,804 --> 00:14:52,767
That weird mysterious company did
something mysteriously weird to them.
272
00:14:53,643 --> 00:14:55,478
[♪ EERIE JINGLE PLAYS]
273
00:14:56,062 --> 00:14:57,396
[PERSON] Psst!
274
00:14:57,480 --> 00:14:59,565
You'll never get in the front door.
275
00:14:59,649 --> 00:15:03,111
Enthusiasm on Demand is hiding
a deep, dark secret,
276
00:15:03,194 --> 00:15:07,990
but maybe together we
can blow it wide open.
277
00:15:08,074 --> 00:15:09,575
Don't you work for them?
278
00:15:09,659 --> 00:15:13,121
Not anymore.
Being a downie destroyed my life.
279
00:15:13,204 --> 00:15:16,916
I had no energy left for my family,
or my secret second family,
280
00:15:16,999 --> 00:15:19,877
but there is a way back from seperance.
281
00:15:19,961 --> 00:15:22,672
It's called de-seperance.
282
00:15:22,755 --> 00:15:25,466
It was risky, but I'm feeling great.
283
00:15:25,967 --> 00:15:29,095
Um, whose robe am I wearing,
and what year is it?
284
00:15:29,178 --> 00:15:32,348
This whole place is like one
of those puzzle box TV shows
285
00:15:32,431 --> 00:15:36,477
like The Leftbehinds,
or Yellowjinks, or Severance,
286
00:15:36,561 --> 00:15:39,522
and there's always
a big secret at the end.
287
00:15:39,605 --> 00:15:42,483
Yeah. If we're going to save
your parents and learn the truth,
288
00:15:42,567 --> 00:15:45,695
there's only one way
inside that building.
289
00:15:47,196 --> 00:15:50,992
Every mysterious headquarters has
a door that has been propped open
290
00:15:51,075 --> 00:15:53,619
so someone can sneak out for a smoke.
291
00:15:54,954 --> 00:15:55,955
Pallies.
292
00:15:56,956 --> 00:15:58,958
[♪ SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYS]
293
00:15:59,041 --> 00:16:01,127
[TYPING]
294
00:16:09,177 --> 00:16:11,512
- [ALARM BLARES]
- They're onto us. Follow me.
295
00:16:15,808 --> 00:16:19,103
Freeze,
and put down the candied squid ink.
296
00:16:20,354 --> 00:16:23,482
You've come here for answers,
no doubt, but ask yourself this.
297
00:16:23,566 --> 00:16:27,236
Will the answer be as
satisfactionalizing as the inquirance?
298
00:16:27,320 --> 00:16:31,324
Damn straight it'll satisfactionalize.
We want to see our parents.
299
00:16:40,583 --> 00:16:41,592
- Mom!
- Dad!
300
00:16:41,626 --> 00:16:44,837
Kids! What a wonderful surprise.
301
00:16:44,921 --> 00:16:48,841
No one told me it was Take
Your Kid to Work Day. Oh, joy!
302
00:16:48,925 --> 00:16:50,426
[KISSING]
303
00:16:50,509 --> 00:16:53,429
Okay, Tiger.
Getting a little damp on top there.
304
00:16:53,512 --> 00:16:57,683
Ugh! All we get from our parents
is not enough or too much.
305
00:16:57,767 --> 00:17:01,103
What's the ominous backstory
for this place anyway?
306
00:17:01,187 --> 00:17:04,774
And if it doesn't add up, God help you.
307
00:17:04,857 --> 00:17:07,026
Why don't we let our founder explain?
308
00:17:07,109 --> 00:17:09,779
Greetings, disciples of Enroy.
309
00:17:09,862 --> 00:17:14,158
We toil together with a mighty purpose,
to harvest the time and energy
310
00:17:14,242 --> 00:17:17,453
of human beings in pursuit
of the ultimate prize.
311
00:17:17,536 --> 00:17:20,164
Here comes the awful truth.
312
00:17:20,248 --> 00:17:23,668
To create a service that
can be sold for money.
313
00:17:23,751 --> 00:17:24,919
[ALL GASP]
314
00:17:25,002 --> 00:17:27,672
Money? Isn't that
what every business does?
315
00:17:27,755 --> 00:17:29,674
Very good, sweetie.
316
00:17:29,757 --> 00:17:32,677
This can't just be a regular company.
317
00:17:32,760 --> 00:17:35,846
Why the endless hallways
and the creepy kangaroos?
318
00:17:35,930 --> 00:17:39,016
Because buildings this poorly
designed have inexpensive rent,
319
00:17:39,100 --> 00:17:41,185
and we get a carbon
credit for the kangaroos.
320
00:17:41,269 --> 00:17:42,895
Then who is Enroy?
321
00:17:42,979 --> 00:17:48,568
Enroy is not a person. It's an acronym.
N.R.O.I. Net return on investment.
322
00:17:48,651 --> 00:17:50,528
Praise Enroy!
323
00:17:50,611 --> 00:17:54,574
You really should praise it, Lisa.
It's the basis of capitalism.
324
00:17:54,657 --> 00:17:56,826
Shut your ears, child.
They've been seperanced.
325
00:17:56,909 --> 00:17:58,411
You can't trust them.
326
00:17:58,494 --> 00:18:02,290
Our only chance is to remove
the implants like I did.
327
00:18:03,416 --> 00:18:04,625
[HOMER WHIMPERS]
328
00:18:04,709 --> 00:18:06,752
Implants? There are no implants.
329
00:18:06,836 --> 00:18:09,839
Then what did I drill out of my skull?
330
00:18:09,922 --> 00:18:13,009
The seperance procedure is just
some light cosmetic surgery.
331
00:18:13,092 --> 00:18:16,971
Teeth whitening, skin tightening.
It makes us more attractive salespeople.
332
00:18:18,472 --> 00:18:20,850
The tin hat protects hair plugs.
333
00:18:21,809 --> 00:18:24,478
No, no,
something happened to Mom and Dad.
334
00:18:24,562 --> 00:18:28,316
Whenever they're at home, it's like
the life has been sucked out of them.
335
00:18:28,399 --> 00:18:31,444
Because it has.
It's called having a job.
336
00:18:31,527 --> 00:18:35,489
You'll learn soon enough,
and Enroy willing, Bart will too.
337
00:18:35,573 --> 00:18:39,910
So that's it? You guys have a great time
at work, and we get the dried-out husks?
338
00:18:39,994 --> 00:18:43,706
We're your kids. We're supposed to be
the ones draining your life force,
339
00:18:43,789 --> 00:18:45,875
not some... [SCOFFS] ...career.
340
00:18:45,958 --> 00:18:49,211
- We need our mom and dad.
- We need our mom and dad.
341
00:18:49,295 --> 00:18:54,050
But we're so fulfilled.
We found our passion in faking passion.
342
00:18:54,133 --> 00:18:56,385
Doesn't our happiness count too?
343
00:18:56,469 --> 00:19:00,389
Maybe we could find some
sort of work-life balance.
344
00:19:00,473 --> 00:19:03,684
Marge, we both know
that's not a real thing.
345
00:19:03,768 --> 00:19:06,312
[♪ MELANCHOLY MUSIC PLAYS]
346
00:19:06,395 --> 00:19:08,189
Okay, kids, you win.
347
00:19:08,272 --> 00:19:11,942
We'll leave our rewarding jobs
we're great at, and go back to...
348
00:19:12,026 --> 00:19:13,569
Oh, I can't say it.
349
00:19:13,653 --> 00:19:15,321
Being parents.
350
00:19:15,404 --> 00:19:16,572
Yeah.
351
00:19:16,656 --> 00:19:18,240
- Yay!
- Yay!
352
00:19:18,324 --> 00:19:20,701
Turn in your badges and hats.
353
00:19:23,704 --> 00:19:25,122
And your hair plugs.
354
00:19:25,206 --> 00:19:28,918
[GRUNTING] Ow.
355
00:19:31,087 --> 00:19:33,964
[HOMER GRUNTING IN DISTANCE CONTINUES]
356
00:19:42,598 --> 00:19:45,559
Yoko geri! Ushiro geri! Mawashi geri!
357
00:19:47,895 --> 00:19:50,022
Konnichi-wow!
358
00:19:50,106 --> 00:19:54,151
That's awesome, buddy.
You really earned that yellow belt.
359
00:19:54,235 --> 00:19:56,821
You guys are coming to my
karate demonstration, right?
360
00:19:56,904 --> 00:19:59,198
I wouldn't miss my little champ's moment
361
00:19:59,281 --> 00:20:05,037
even if it was on a Sunday during
football, which it always is.
362
00:20:05,121 --> 00:20:07,957
And I made popsicle stick puppets.
363
00:20:08,040 --> 00:20:14,630
You made those? A child?
And not some elderly master craftsman?
364
00:20:14,714 --> 00:20:17,049
That's so creative.
365
00:20:17,133 --> 00:20:22,138
I can't wait to see them in a play
with a socially-conscious plotline.
366
00:20:22,221 --> 00:20:27,309
Me neither. Mommy and Daddy will sit
in the living room until you're ready.
367
00:20:29,228 --> 00:20:31,731
They weren't faking, were they?
368
00:20:31,814 --> 00:20:33,315
Don't know. Don't care.
369
00:20:34,859 --> 00:20:39,655
- [♪ EERIE TONE PLAYS]
- [GROANING]
370
00:20:49,081 --> 00:20:53,085
[EXECUTIVE] Welcome, valued new employee,
to Enthusiasm on Demand.
371
00:20:53,169 --> 00:20:56,756
Whether you're joining our team
in Macro-Gerontics, Sonic Massage,
372
00:20:56,839 --> 00:20:59,592
Intimation and Foreshadowing, or Bricks,
373
00:20:59,675 --> 00:21:02,136
we know this is the last
job you will ever have.
374
00:21:02,219 --> 00:21:04,889
By now you've received
your Employee Manual,
375
00:21:04,972 --> 00:21:07,516
a Welcome Tetrahedron, and galoshes.
376
00:21:07,600 --> 00:21:10,352
Inside the tetrahedron,
you'll find your parking pass,
377
00:21:10,436 --> 00:21:13,606
the corporate hymnal,
and 17 Polish zloty.
378
00:21:13,689 --> 00:21:16,901
Please dispose of the galoshes
at your earliest convenience.
379
00:21:16,984 --> 00:21:19,320
As you embark on your
professional journey,
380
00:21:19,403 --> 00:21:23,949
lift your voice with me, reciting
the joyous words of our founder.
381
00:21:24,033 --> 00:21:29,997
Zog sinistrum lamentio, Cthulhu eternum!
Praise Enroy!
382
00:21:30,080 --> 00:21:31,081
Shh.
383
00:21:34,063 --> 00:21:37,016
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