All language subtitles for The Ms Pat Show s05e08 A Family Thing.eng

- Hey, y'all.

Y'all ready to be on TV?

All right.

Now, look, don't y'all
steal shit out of here.

And I'll be back.

Hey, how you doing?

You asked me to sign
your little book,

but I love that little
doggy ass on your head.

[chuckles] I'ma sign
it after the show.

Your menopause
fucking up, girl.

You sweating.

Life ever whoop your
ass so bad that it knock

you into a case of what if?

What if it don't work out?

What if it hurts?

Life got some
fucking hands, y'all.

You need to roll with
the fucking punches, OK?

Stick and move, bitches!

How y'all doing over here?

Yeah, y'all got the floor
seats from the church.

Hey, baby!

You want a lap dance?

Come on, baby, you ready?

You ready?

[laughs]

That's what I'm talking
about when I say,

roll with the fucking punches.

Or at least run around that
bitch until you get tired.

'Cause what if it all
fucking worked out, y'all?

What if you get your
fucking happy ending?

Even if you don't win,
fucking bite the bitch.

Let's get this
fucking show started.

- Come on.

What you wanna do?

[all screaming]

- Oh my God!
My eyes!

They're burning!

Ooh, what is that smell?

- Well, that's called
"I got a nigga."

Now, what are you doing home?

- And can you give us
a minute and a half?

- Yeah, 'cause
we was just about

to move to the waterboarding.

- Ugh!

- Oh, we doing
waterboarding tonight?

- Yes, I'm the
water, you the board.

Now, get the fuck
out of my room!

- But this is my room!

- You supposed to
be off at college

learning books and shit!

- You know what?

Mama, they in my
room getting freaky!

- Oh, oh!

- Always trying to snitch.

- Help!
- Don't you wake your mama up!

- Baby, I'm locked up!

- ? Come on ?

? It's time to go ?

? It's the Ms. Pat Show ?

- Who in the fuck brought
these donuts in this house?

Y'all know my doctor
said I can't have these.

Ooh, somebody
trying to kill me.

Mmm, mmm!

This feel like I'm
getting my titties sucked.

Mm-hmm!

Thank God I got self-control.

- So what happened
to my donuts?

- You the one brought that
fat people fentanyl in here?

- See, now, you don't like
it when I eat your food.

You don't like it
when I bring my own.

So what I'm supposed to do?

- Stay the fuck
away from my house.

- You gonna have to get
used to me being here.

Me and Denise are
getting closer.

Did she tell you that we
saying "I love you" now?

- Mm.

How fucking annoying.

Be careful saying that shit.

She gon' go crazy.

- It's her silver
anniversary today.

So I wanna do
something nice for her.

She deserves to be celebrated.

- Oh, that's nice.

I think we should
give her a party.

And I'm glad you
remember that day, 'cause

I sho 'nuff fucking forgot it.

- All right, look, I mean,
Denise don't get a lot of wins,

so I want her to feel
the love and support.

You know, this one's major.

- Look, Kareem, I know
I can be a little-

- Mean?

- No.

- Bitchy?

- What the fuck?

I'm slow to kindness.

- True, true, true.

Now, I know I wasn't
always a good man.

- No, you was not.

And shut the fuck up before I
forget what I'm about to say.

You're a good man, Kareem.

- Really?

Look at you.

- Yeah, at least till
you fuck up again.

- See?

Ah, you crazy.

You need to stop all that.

- Well, now, what the
hell is going on in here?

What y'all talking about?

- It's- it's a secret, Denise,

for me and Pat to know
and for you to find out.

- No, no, I think you tell
me what the hell is going on.

- Well, what's going
on is I'ma head

on back and get you
an iced coffee

from that fancy place you like.

- Oh.

- What fancy-ass
place you like?

- Dunkin' Donuts.

You know, Pat, I don't know
if I trust that you two

are suddenly so lovey-dovey.

- Why not?
'Cause you think I'm mean?

- No.

- Mm.

You think I'm slow to kindness?

- No, I think you bitchy.

- Put them donuts down, Pat.

- Not before I eat one.

Fuck that shit!

- Hey, Auntie.
Got your text.

What's got you so worked up?

Listen, what's got me
worked up is I saw your mama

in the kitchen hugging my man.

You know what that means.

- [screams]
I don't.

I'm sorry.

I don't know what it means.

- How you don't
know what that mean?

That mean that Kareem
about to propose.

- Oh my God.
For real?

- Yes!

- Oh my God!

Ah, ah, ah!

If you're happy,
that is, 'cause

you don't have to just fall
in line with the patriarchy.

- Girl, shut the fuck up.

We happy.
- OK.

[laughs]

- Oh, what y'all
so excited about?

You finally got that
smell out of my room?

- Kareem is gonna
propose to Auntie.

- Damn, Ash.

I hardly ever have
good news to share.

Can I tell my own shit?
- Auntie!

- Yes!

- Isn't this all kind of quick?

And didn't you just tell each
other "I love you" last week?

- Well, damn!

Can't nobody keep a
secret in this house?

- Hey, you know
I live for the tea.

I'm happy for you guys.

- OK, so tell us, how do
you know he's gonna propose?

- Oh, my God.

Way till you- oh, girl, OK.

So what had happened was,

I saw him in the kitchen-

right- hugging your mama.

- And?

- And he's gonna
take me to dinner.

- And?

- And he bought me
iced coffee, too!

That's commitment right there!

Yes.

- Auntie, um,
rein it in for me.

You know, all this stuff that,
you know, you're talking about,

the coffee and the
dinner and the mom hug,

it can mean anything.

- That's my point!

She's not a hugger.

So it do mean something.

- Look, I'm thrilled for you.
You know that.

I just don't want
you getting carried

away only to get knocked down.

- Oh, my God, Ashley.

When have I ever gotten
carried away about anything?

- Hmm. I don't know.

Maybe when you
burnt all my hair off?

- Or what about
when you dated Lee?

You were obsessed with
that boring-ass man.

- Oh, and remember that
time you got that lady's

dog kicked off the airplane?

- Well, y'all know
I'm allergic to dogs.

- It was a seeing eye dog.

- And I helped that
bitch to the bathroom.

I don't understand.

OK, listen.

I'm not gonna get carried
away, but you three are gonna

be my wedding planners, OK?

So we need to talk
flowers and catering.

And then we gonna
electric slide

on over to the guest list.

Now, listen.

Basic bitches,
they like to come in

to "Here Comes the Bride," OK?

But I'm gonna slide on into
the church to "Baddest Bitch"

by Trina, with a
full gospel choir.

So if y'all excuse me,
I'm about to go

and try on my wedding dress.

- Why do you
have a wedding dress?

- Oh, well, listen here,
single bitches.

If you stay ready,
you ain't got to get ready.

- You bringing all that
shit home with you?

- Ma, that's actually what I
wanted to talk to you about.

[doorbell rings]
- Well, wait a minute, girl.

Somebody at the door.

Oh, hello.
- Hi.

I'm Yolanda.

Terry said I could
drop by any time.

And this morning, my alarm
said, wake up, bitch.

It's anytime.

In my head,
that made you laugh.

- Well, it'd be funny if I
knew who the fuck you was.

- Pat, who is that?

- Yolanda?

- Terry.

- Oh, hell naw.
- Hey.

- This your silver side piece?

- Oh, nah.

Pat, this is my auntie
that I saw last week.

She helping me find my father.

Uh, Yolanda, you could have
called first, you know?

- Damn, she ain't even call,
and she brought bags?

- Well, I just took
him at his word.

But I can go back now.

- No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
It's fine.

Happy to have you
here, Yolanda.

You can set up in
Brandon's room.

- Uh, no, no.

No, no, she can't.

I'm staying in Brandon's room.

Auntie and Kareem
have taken over mine,

and it smells like
badussy in there.

- I live in a retirement home.

I've smelled worse
things than badussy!

You must be Janelle.

- Yes, ma'am.

- And you must be Pat.

- Must be.

Nice to meet you, honey.

- Terry, you did good.

She look like she can cook.

- Uh, Janelle.

Janelle, baby, take your auntie
downstairs quickly, all right?

And listen, you can sleep on
the floor in Junebug's room

until we figure out-

- No, tomorrow when
the stranger leave.

- Yeah.
- What the hell, Terry?

We ain't got enough fucking
people in this house?

Every time one leave,
you wanna replace them?

- Girl, what you getting
so worked up about?

- She brought fucking luggage.

That's three months
of fucking luggage.

Terry, she tired of being-

she tired of being at that
goddamn old folks' home.

- Hey, hey, hey, hey,
hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.

I am done with this
conversation, girl.

Hmm?

- I know people.

I'm telling you,
I've seen this shit.

This old bitch scammin'.
She probably ain't even old!

- Baby, look, I am bringing
her luggage downstairs, OK?

- OK.

Yeah, go.

Go, yeah.

Yeah, you gonna take a lot
of trips with that bullshit

right there.
- Enough, Pat.

OK, enough.
- Yeah, yeah.

Uh-huh.

Enough my ass.
- All right, all right.

You right.

- You better learn
to listen to me.

- Yes, ma'am.
Yes, ma'am.

- "Yes, ma'am," my ass.

Shit don't make no fucking-
[doorbell rings]

- Answer the door, girl.

- Now, who the fuck are you?

- Oh, my.

You are really scraping
the bottom of the barrel

for greetings nowadays.

- Ms. Carol,
what you doing here?

- Moral support!

Yolanda, she was scared
about traveling by herself,

so I'm staying as
long as she needs me.

So put that shit
over there somewhere.

- Staying?

Let me see.

Let me check something out.

- Baby, what
you doing out there?

- I'm looking for a sign that
say "Welcome, old bitches."

- Well, I missed that,
but I did see

a sign that said "Beware
of big-boned bad bitch."

- Whoa, whoa, hey,
hey, hey, hey.

Hey, hey, hey.

Uh, uh, now, now, now, now,

Ms. Carol, just ignore her.
OK?

Come on, come on.

- That ain't gonna be
easy 'cause she loud.

And she been eating a lot.

- Hey, hey.

Now- now, you ain't gotta
be mean now, Ms. Carol.

- I ain't say nothing to her.
- Yes, you did.

I heard you.
You ain't got to be like-

- ? Oh, Jesus

- I don't know who
that old bitch is,

but I'll slap the Social
Security check out that ho.

Brandon, I need your
little girlfriend to check

on two old bitches for me.

They named Yolanda and Carol.

I don't know their
motherfucking last name!

- Uno, out!

Got that ass.

- Dang, Janelle.

That's the third time in a row.

What you been taking an
Uno class up at Hansberry?

It is more fun playing
with you than Mom.

Last time I tried
to play with her,

she said my win
didn't count because I

didn't say uno in English.

Dad had to pull her off of me.

- Hmm.

You see, that temper of hers
is exactly why I didn't tell

her why I really came home.

- What you mean?

- OK, can you keep a secret?

And not a Junebug promise, OK?

This has to mean something.

- Fine, I non-Junebug promise.

- OK.

I'm not going
back to Hansberry.

- What?

You dropping out?

Oh, Janelle!

You got to-

- Shh.

Calm down.

- OK, OK.

Tell me what happened.

- OK, it was just
too much drama.

Now, I told you I lost
my virginity, right?

- Yeah.

- But what I didn't tell you
was it was to a professor.

- Oh, Janelle, you didn't
have to give up no ass

to pass a class, did you?

- Boy, I beat that man's
ass like I was his daddy

in front of the entire class.

- Oh, you make me so proud.

I mean, what now?

- Well, I guess I'ma just tell
Mom and Dad I got homesick.

I already signed up for classes
at the community college.

- Community college?

OK, I mean,

you know,
that's cool for, you know,

me and Brandon types,
but you're a genius.

- I guess I'll be a big
fish in a small pond.

- But you should be in
a big pond, you know,

with bigger fish than you.

That's how you get even better.

- [scoffs]

That's sweet, Bug,
but it's just temporary.

But I will say,
through all the mess,

I did learn one massively
important lesson in college.

- What's that?

- Men ain't shit.

- Hey, Pat.

We're here.

- Shut the fuck up.

This shit's supposed
to be a secret.

What y'all find
out on they asses?

- Not a damn thing.

They're both clear.

- Yeah, clearer than
R. Kelly's calendar.

- Oh, but Yolanda did have

a grand theft auto charge, though.

- Who car she stole?

- Oh, she got mad 'cause her
car was being towed, so she

stole the whole damn truck.

- Fuck, that's some
shit I woulda did.

- [laughs]
Yeah, I know.

I looked your ass up, too.

- Ooh, this sweet potato
pie sure was good.

- Sure was.

- Your great-grandmama call
it sweet potato poppin' pie.

Just take one bite, and all
your buttons start popping.

- Ooh, you ain't lying.

Mine 'bout to pop right now.

- Oh, Ms. Carol,
you got to give

me this mac and cheese recipe.

- Baby, I don't
know you like that,

but the recipe is in the name,

mac, a lil 'roni,
and some cheese.

- Well, listen, thank y'all
so much for cooking for us.

I mean, my God.

- Oh, we just wanted to say
thank you for having us here.

- Well, you ain't welcome.

We just hungry.

And this shit was good.

- I like her.

- Glad somebody do.

- Y'all think my daddy
would have liked her?

- [coughs]
- Oh.

I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.

Oh, God.
I swallowed wrong.

You know, I never
was a good swallower.

- You gotta tell us
more about his daddy.

Was he anything like Terry?

Big, sexy?

- Oh, he was
handsome, you know.

I mean, what can I tell you?

He was Black.

- Yeah.

Well, the boy know he
wasn't half Japanese.

- Well, was Grandpa nice?

- Mm-hmm.

He was a real people
person, you know.

But he always had a little
sadness behind his eyes.

- Sadness, huh?

Now, why do you think that was?

Let's dig deeper.

- [groans]

Damn, Dr. Phil-esha,
can we just eat?

- Well, did you know
him too, Ms. Carol?

- Who?
Your granddaddy?

He was-

- OK, can we talk
about something else?

Has anybody heard that new,
uh, Smokey Robinson album?

- Ain't nobody talking about
no damn Smokey Robinson.

- Yeah, I want to
hear about my father.

Hey, look, I- I know that
he probably wasn't perfect,

but I want to know
who I come from.

- Oh, he can handle it.

A lot of people
daddy fucked up.

I mean, you should meet mine.

Lord know I didn't
meet the nigga.

- No, no.

- What?
- Mm-mm.

- Hey, I need your help if I'm
gonna find him, Yolanda, now.

- Well, I can't help
you find your father.

- Well, why not?

Shit, you done came
all the way here.

- 'Cause, Terry, God damn it, I
can't help you, because I'm not

your father's sister.

- What?

- Oh, hell naw!

I knew this was some bullshit!

Y'all stop eating that shit.

These bitches
trying to poison us!

- So, wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait.

Hold on, hold on, hold, on.
Y'all just played me?

How did you get
the baby picture?

Was that child even me?

- Now, hold on, Terry.

- Just let me explain.

- I'm so confused right now.

- Brandon, go get them bags!

They about to get the
fuck up outta here.

- Everybody, hold on!

Now, Yolanda, if you want
to leave, then we can leave.

If not, we can stay.

If you want to stay here and
fight all these niggas, we can.

But whatever happens,
it's gonna have

to be because you are ready.

- What the fuck is going on?

- And you got to stop
all that fucking cussing!

You better respect your
elders, young lady!

Sit your ass down!

And let this woman talk.

- Yolanda?

- Terry, I can't help
you find your father.

I am not your father's sister.

I am your father.

- What?

- OK, now you have it.

So, everybody, eat up.

Eat your food.

Act like you're
a damn happy family.

Eat!

- Perfect.
So let me take your menus.

Is this your first
time dining with us?

- Girl, yes.

I can't afford this shit.

But my man, my man,
my man is rich and famous.

And it's a special occasion,
so we doing it big.

- OK. Well, congratulations.

I'm a huge fan of your
work, Mr. Roberts.

- Oh, thank you so much.

I appreciate that.

- I'll be right back
with those appetizers.

- OK. OK.

So, um, all this fanciness
do beg the question.

You know, it's not my birthday.

It's not our
go-together anniversary.

So?

- Well, if you must
know, I'm doing

all this to celebrate you.

- Celebrate me?

Celebrate us.

- Oh, absolutely I do.
Yeah.

- I do.

Oh, oh, I heard it!

OK, I'm sorry, baby.
Go ahead.

I was interrupting you.

What you saying?

- So this- this is the
anniversary of the last

time that you took drugs.

See, now, I know it
was not an easy road.

I know there was
ups and downs, but I

need you to know that
I'm so thankful for you

and that I am so deeply
proud of you, baby.

Deeply proud.

- So that's it?

- What- what you
mean, that's it?

That's everything.

- No, Kareem, that
ain't everything, right?

So this is it?

I mean, like, you aren't
really- are you really just-

- Oh, Denise.

Baby, pick a sentence.

Finish it.

- Wow.

Wow.

- Terry?

- I don't know what to say.

- I was looking
for you for 50 years.

I didn't know if I would
meet you before I died.

- Oh, she gave
up so many times,

and I'd talk her into going
back and look for you.

Now, some folks told us that
you were looking for her.

I guess God just has
his own timing, you know.

- So- so let me
ask you something.

Why would you say you his aunt
and not his mommy-daddy?

Is that the right term?

all: No.
- No, not at all.

- I just didn't know
if I was ready yet.

I wanted you to judge me by
my heart, not by my gender.

People out there kill women
like me for just existing.

- And that's why she brought
me with her, 'cause she

know I'll kick somebody's ass.

- I don't understand
none of this.

- It is not
for you to understand.

Baby, at the end of the day,
we are all just spirits.

- Amen.

- You know, we borrow these
bodies because we're here.

But as soon as we die, they
go right back to the earth.

Now, your shell does
not define who you are.

The spirit does.

And if you can't see
love because you-

you distracted by somebody's
shell, then, baby,

you gonna lose every time.

- Well, when I die,
I'ma make sure my spirit

take my pussy in a to-go bag.

- And I hope you wash it first.

- Carol.
- OK.

All right, I know.
Listen, y'all.

We need to give
them some space.

So, family, let's go.

- Um, this is just too much.

- Terry, I did not want
to overwhelm you, baby.

I- I just- I just wanted
to meet my- my blood family.

- But you met my mother
when you were a man?

- No, more like a boy.

We didn't know who
we were back then.

But I always knew I wasn't
what the world wanted me to be.

I always knew I was born

to be a woman,

like I was a whole person
in a past life.

- Oh.

So is that why you left me?

- I didn't leave you.

Terry, I loved you.

- But you didn't
come back to get me.

I didn't even know you existed.

- That's because when
your mother ran off,

ran off with that man, I-

she didn't tell me
where you were going.

- Oh, you could have tried.

- I did try.

- You could have tried harder!

Maybe- maybe being a woman
was more important to you, huh?

- Oh, please.

Terry, that is not fair.

Listen, if anything,
when you got older

and I became a woman,
I was afraid to meet you.

I didn't want you to reject me.

- Major used to beat me
like a dog when I was a kid.

- What?

- Now I know that I wasn't his.

You know, I used to wonder
how would my own father

just hurt me like that, huh?

Why- why would he do
something like that to me?

Why would he-

- I didn't know, Terry.

- Well, you know what?

- I didn't know.

If I had only known.

- My real father
could have stopped it.

Hmm?

You could have stopped it.

- If I had only known.

- Oh, my God.

[scoffs]

You know what,
I need some fresh air.

- Terry.
- No, I need some fresh air.

- I really thought you were
better than this, Kareem,

but I should have known.

But it's fine.

You know, you don't
even gotta apologize.

- Well, I didn't,
and I don't understand

why I would in this moment.

- Because you don't
get it, clearly.

But it's OK, Kareem.

It's fine.

Just fucking forget it.
Just forget it.

- Ladies and gentlemen,

please welcome SWV.

[cheers and applause]

- Good evening, everyone.

Is there a Denise Ford
in the house tonight?

- Kareem asked us to do
a few songs that you like

from us from back in the day.

- Kareem, you got SWV?

- All for you.

- OK, I see what the
fuck's going on here.

You fucking one of them.

- What?
Denise.

- You fucking her.
Who is it?

Who is it?
That bitch right there, Lelee?

OK, because I heard
if you fucking her,

I ain't gonna never
get you back 'cause I

heard she got that good-good.

- Denise, what?

- Ladies and gentlemen,
put your hands together

for this woman right here.

She is celebrating ten long
years of sobriety tonight.

[applause]

- And you done told this
bitch all my business?

OK, listen here, Coko lady.

OK, if you want this nigga
so bad, you can have him.

- What the hell is
she talking about?

- "I'm so into you."

How into you is he, Taj?

- No, no, baby.

No, no, no, no.
No, no, no, no.

Baby, baby, whoa, whoa!

OK, I'm so sorry.
- Hey, hey, hey, wait a minute.

Are we gonna get
our fucking money?

- No, I got you. I got you.
- OK.

- So what do you think
about the president

trying to lock y'all up
for using the bathroom?

- I do the same
thing I did before,

when they told me I
couldn't use the bathroom

because I was colored.

- And what's that?

- Piss all over
the fucking floor.

[both laugh]

- You need to go piss
at the White House

on you-know-who trying to mess
with our social security.

- Y'all my kind of broads.

- Terry.

- Hey, baby.

- Come on, sit down.

We ain't gonna bite.

- Your wife, boy, oh,

she's something else.

And your kids,
they're sweet, too.

Proud of this life you
made for yourself, baby.

- Thank you.

I'm proud of it, too.

And hey, I apologize
for raising my voice

at you earlier.

I think it was the hurt
little boy inside talking.

I appreciate you coming.

I definitely got a lot
of questions answered.

- I'm sure you got many more.

- Now, listen, I ain't
throwing y'all out by no means,

but I'm gonna need some time
to think about how I'm gonna

respond to all of this.

- Terry, you don't
have time, baby.

Look at her.

She's running out of minutes.

- Excuse me?

- She just called you old.

- Terry, you wouldn't
have no life to be

proud of without this woman.

Look at her.

She came here to
make shit right.

You can't change the past, but
you can damn sure fix today.

Use it, baby.

- Look, if this is the way

you want this to end,
I am fine with it.

I got to see your face.

I got to meet your crazy,

beautiful-ass family.

I'm good with that.

So come on, Carol, let's go.

- You mean you had me pack
all that shit for nothing?

- Get your old ass up.

Come on, girl.
- And all the gas money.

- Shut your mouth and come on.

- You ain't got to go nowhere.

- Listen.

- Hey, hey, hey, listen.

I said y'all don't
have to leave.

I think I was hoping that
when I met my father,

it would fix something I
was missing, fill the hole,

you know?

But meeting you
just reminded me

that I'm already whole,
that I don't need

to feel no empty spaces,
that I don't need who I thought

you were supposed to be.

I need you just as you are.

- Yes.

- So are you saying you
really want to get to know me?

Know who I really am today?

- Yes.

Yes, I think so.

It won't be overnight,
but I'm gonna get there.

I just need to, uh, override
my programming a bit.

- Uh-huh.

- Yeah.

I appreciate you, boy.

- Me too.

You good people, Ms. Yolanda.

- Baby, wait.

Just hold up for a second.

All right, come on now.

I don't even know
what happened.

Can you just talk to me
for a second, please?

- Hell no.

And I already
unlocked the door.

[together]
Surprise!

- What the fuck is all this?

[together]
A surprise!

- OK, well, I've had enough
surprises for the evening.

Thank you very much.

- Where you going, Denise?

- To my room.

[balloon pops]
- Oh, shit!

- All right, see, I don't know
what happened to her, but, Pat,

could you please
go talk to her?

- I'm on it, but I
told you telling her

you love her gonna
turn her ass crazy.

This bitch just did a drive-by
with balloons on her.

- Leave me alone.

- Not in my house.

The hell is going on with you?

- I am so stupid.

I'm- I'm just stupid, Pat.

I thought that Kareem
was gonna propose to me.

I thought that somebody would
finally choose me for once.

But he let me down.

- Let you down?

How many assholes have you
dated over the years that

wouldn't have never thrown
you a surprise party,

let alone celebrate
you being sober?

- I know that
Kareem is nice, OK?

But I need a husband, Pat.

And I try to be a feminist
like your daughters,

but I need a fucking man
in my life, Pat.

It's just me by myself,
and I don't have anyone.

And I'm tired.

And this just showed me
that he is not that man.

OK?

So I'm just gonna call it now.

We'll go on two separate paths,
and so I'm out.

- Look at you, girl.

This some self-sabotaging shit.

You do this every time.

Somebody try to get
close to you, you run.

Come on.

- Happiness has a way
of skipping over me, Pat.

- Happiness don't
skip you, girl.

You just don't let it in
'cause you- you scared.

Tell me I'm wrong.

- You're wrong.
- Girl, stop interrupting me.

You blowing up a
small-ass conflict just

to avoid some damn intimacy.

- OK, that was good.

What was that?

- I don't fucking know.

Ashley rubbing off on me or my
GED just kicked back in one.

- I don't know, Pat.

Maybe I'm just scared.

I mean, can you blame me?

When was the last
time I had a win?

- Girl, right now you winning.

Open your damn eyes.

Kareem is a good man.

- What if he leaves me, Pat?

I'd never be able to
recover from that.

- I ain't never met
nobody who could recover

like you, maybe except him.

You'll be fine.

Look at me. We family.

I got you.

- I know, Pat.

[groans] But I probably
messed it up anyway.

I said so much shit to
that man on the ride back.

And I don't really
feel like apologizing,

so I'm gonna just call it
quits and get out while I can.

It's easier.

- Easy?

That's all your ass want?

Let me tell you something.

I just met Terry
auntie that turned

out to be his fucking daddy.

- Wait, what?

- Child, I'll explain
that shit later.

- Well, no, I kind
of want to know now.

- My point is, that lady
wasted her whole damn life

being scared to ask
for what she want.

And now she old as
hell and ain't got

shit and just found a family.

You can waste your
life being scared,

or you can take a fucking
chance and love this man.

You don't need no
ring to do that, girl.

- I guess I understand
what you're saying.

- Life is too short to live
it scared of being happy.

Kareem, I tried.

- Oh, DD, look.

All I wanted to do tonight was
just celebrate you, and I-

- Oh, shut the fuck up, Kareem.

- All right.

- Listen, I just spent the last
ten minutes listening to Pat

defend your ass.

Yes, Pat, of all people.

But what she did
help me realize

is that, well, if she can love
you this much after decades

of hating you that much, then
shit, I guess you did the work.

- We've done the work.

- Well, maybe I
overreacted, but it's

only because I'm
scared when things

seem a little too perfect.

Because you know
I'm a hood bitch.

I like things a little
toxic every now and then.

Thank you for the fancy dinner
and for booking SWV

just for me.

- SWV?

He brought out
a whole singing group?

- OK, clearly Auntie does
not know what the dating pool

is really like.

- Give him to me.

You don't know what
to do with him.

- All right, look,
baby, all I want to do

is just make you happy.

- Oh, honey, you
already make me happy.

I just get a muddy
windshield sometimes.

- Hold on for a second,
all right?

- Well, where are you going?

- Just-

- ? I get so weak ?

? I lose control ?

? Takes hold of me ?

? Amazing love ?

- See, you didn't
let me finish what

I wanted to do after dinner.

- ? By my side ?

? I swallow my pride ?

? Your love is so sweet ?

? It knocks me right
off of my feet ?

? Can't explain why
your lovin' makes me weak ?

- Now, look, baby, we at an age
now where we know what we want

and exactly when we want it.

And I want you, Denise Ford.

Will you do the
honor of letting

me just make you happy
for the rest of your life?

Be my wife.

- Yes, yes, yes!

[all cheering]

- This making me
cry thug tears.

Yay!

- Welcome to the
family, brother.

Huh?

- Yes, sir.

Yes, sir.

- Kareem, why you ain't
warn me before you

propose in front of my girl?

- You got to get
the Temptations

for my- my proposal.

I know most of them dead,
but we can pick

out shovels together, baby.

- This is beautiful,
but can we go now?

- Well, no.

Can you please just sing
one more song, please?

- No, he only paid
us for one song.

- Come on, please,
just one more.

- Please, I'll gave you $20.

- $20?

OK, real quick, y'all.

Real quick.

- Real quick.
- OK.

Can I have this dance?

- For the rest of your life.

- Oh!

[together]
? I'm so into you ?

? I don't know
what I'm gonna do ?

? Boy, you got me so confused ?

? I don't know
what I'm gonna do ?

? You are so fine,
so fine, so fine ?

? You blow my mind ?

? With the things you do ?

? With the things
you do ?

- Oh, just look at them.

It's like a miracle.

- Oh, he been waiting a
long time to know the truth.

I appreciate y'all so much.

- Yeah, well,
I'm just being a friend.

You know, she took care
of me when I had cancer.

- Oh, that's so beautiful.

- Uh-huh.

I just figured it was time
I do some shit for her.

- I'm so glad y'all here.

- Me, too.

You got one crazy-ass family.

- You can feel free to take
all these niggas with you.

- Uh-uh, no.

[together]
? With the things you do ?

- Watch out now.

[together] ? She sees,
not blind, things you do ?

? Things you do for me ?

? Things you do
for me ?

? All I know ?

? I'm so into you ?

- Sorry.

Good morning.

- Dang, girl.

Can you knock?

What if I was in here naked?

You would have seen
all kinds of things.

- Not without binoculars.

I brought your shirt
back I borrowed.

- What are you
doing up so early?

- I woke up feeling
nauseous as hell.

Oh.

- No.
Uh-uh.

Uh-uh.
Uh-uh.

Not on the kicks!

- [vomits]

- Ugh.

- [coughing]

- Janelle.

- I think, um, it was just-

- OK, do you know for sure?

- No.

[breathing shakily]

- Come here.

- [crying]

- Look, no matter what happens,
just know I got you, OK?

- OK.

[soft music]

? ?

- ? She's a grown-ass woman

? And she don't
take no stuff ?

? She's a grown-ass woman ?

? And you can't get enough ?

? She's a grown-ass woman ?

? With a husband and kids ?

? She's a grown-ass woman ?

? And it's
"The Ms. Pat Show" ?

- ? Hey! ?

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