Original subtitles

- We're tiny. - We're toon-y.

ALL: We're all a little loony.

And in this cartoon-y We're invading your TV.

BOTH: We're comic dispensers.

We crack up all the censors.

ALL: On Tiny Toon Adventures Get a dose of comedy.

So here's Acme Acres It's a whole wide world apart.

Our home sweet home It stands alone.

A cartoon work of art.

The scripts were rejected Expect the unexpected.

ALL: On Tiny Toon Adventures It's about ta start.

PLUCKY: They're furry. They're funny.

BOTH: They're Babs and Buster Bunny.

ALL: Montana Max has money Elmyra is a pain.

BUSTER: Here's Hamton. - And Plucky.

BA BS: Dizzy Devil's yucky.

ALL: Furrba/Vs unlucky And Gaga is insane.

At Acme Looniversity We earn our Toon degree.

The teaching staff's been getting laughs Since 1933.

We're tiny We're toon-y.

We're all a little loony.

R's Tiny Toon Adventures Come and join the fun.

BOTH: And now our song is done.

Hi. 'Folks.

Hang on to your carrots because it's Adventure Day...

here on Tiny Toons.

So let's get rolling.

Adventure ho!

BABS 8| BUSTER [SINGING]: 0h, dear Acme Luuniversity.

- School of much hilarity. - School of much hilarity.

- We say with much sincerity. - We say with much sincerity.

- Let us go home at noon. - Let us go home at noon

[STUDENTS SNORING]

And as these graphs and charts clearly show...

cartoon logic is unlike any other.

Let us begin with the principle oi walking on thin ail.

I will demonstrate.

You will remain suspended as long as you do not look down.

Like so.

[LAUGHS]

BA BS: Queen Babs.

You're blocking my view.

[BLOWS RASPBERRY]

PA: Attention. Attention.

Will the owner of the powder-blue Nova please report to the parking lot?

Your ca! Is on file again.

Whoops. Ha-ha-ha.

That's me.

Shh. Be very, very quiet until I get back.

Shh!

[AS ELMER FUDD] Be very. Very quiet.

[IN NORMAL VOICE] He been using that line long enough or what?

[ALL LAUGHING]

[AS JOAN RIVERS] Oh. Oh, as if it's my fault.

[ALL LAUGHING]

Come on. Fudd is a guy who believes in studying to! Blood tests.

[ALL LAUGHING HYSTEHICALLY]

Oh. It's true.

I heard Professor Fudd got in a fight once and was actually knocked conscious.

[BA BS LAUG HS]

[PLUCKY SNICKERS]

Professor Fudd told us all to be quiet.

Uh. Don't you think we...?

[AS JOAN RIVERS] Oh. Please.

Every time opportunity knocks. The pig here complains about the noise.

It's true.

[STUDENTS LAUGHING]

Uh-oh. You better cool it, Babs. Elmer's heading this way.

[AS JOAN RIVERS] Oh. Oh. Oh.

Speaking of cool, my first guest is the coolest.

The new singing sensation. Elmer Presley.

[EDDIE COCHHAN'S “SUMMERTIME BLUES“ PLAYING]

[AS ELMER FUDD] I'm gonna raise a fuss

I'm gonna raise a holler.

About a-teaching all day Just to try to earn a dollar.

Every time I go hunting Try to catch a bunny.

My gun explodes And it really isn't funny

[BABS MOANS]

Hey, yuck. Gross.

[WHISPERS] Babs. Behind you.

[AS ELMER FUDD] Sometimes I wander What I'm a-gonna do.

But there ain't no cure For the Elmer Fudd blues.

Well. There ain't no cure For the Elmer Fudd blues

[IN NORMAL VOICE] Hi. Teach. —All right, rabbit, to the principal.

And as for the rest of you, a pop quiz.

[ALL MOAN]

[BUSTER MIMICS GUNSHOT]

Thanks a lot, Babs.

Well. Excuse me.

[AS JAMES CAGNEY] Hmm. Well. This is ii. See. The end.

I'm being sent to the big house and there ain't nothing I can do about it.

Mm. You're not taking me alive. See?

PRINCIPAL: I am the great and poweliul Principal.

Come into my office.

[IN NORMAL VOICE] Sure.

[GULPS]

This is the third time you've been sent to my of lice this week.

You gotta believe me. I was flamed.

[SOBBING]

I'm innocent. See? Innocent!

[SOBBING]

Cut the histrionics, Babs.

It's not going to work on me this time.

Rats.

Babs. You have to learn some self-control.

- But... - No buts.

I'm sending you home 10! The lest o1 the day.

[AS BILLIE BURKE] Well. There's no place like home.

I am not amused.

Take this note to your mother.

[IN NORMAL VOICE] Yes. Sir.

BABS: Surprise.

Mom. Your darling talented daughter is home.

Hello. Sis. Hi. Bro. Hello. Mortimer.

MRS. BUNNY: Oh. Babs...

you weren't sent home hom school again, were you?

Yeah, but it was great. Let me show you.

[INHALES]

MRS. BUNNY: Now I'm gonna have to talk to that principal o1 yours.

I just hate it when he shoots that tile in the ail.

Yeah. Yeah. But look.

I started by impersonating Professor Fudd...

because he left the roorn and said that stupid 'very, very“ line of his.

Ha. Ha. Then I did this song.

Babs. Hon. You're just gonna have to learn some self-control.

No. It was great, see. Real Glade A material.

Babs!

Now. You know I love you. Sweetheart...

but I think it would be a good idea i1 you went up to your loom and studied.

We'll discuss school later.

Sheesh.

First my teacher. Then my hiends. Now even my very own mother.

No one appreciates me.

[ON TV] Hey, there-Feeling down, my friend'?

Ha. You can say that again.

Is your life a little less than grand?

Sheesh. It's downright bland.

Then why not run away to-

[ON TV] Wacky/and.

[GOGO LAUGHING]

Yeah. I'll run away to Wackyland.

Good idea. They'll appreciate you there.

- They will, they will, they will. - Yeah.

This announcement paid for by the Wackyland tourist board.

Hey. Thanks.

Wackyland. Here I come.

Self-control. Humph.

Once I'm gone. They'll realize how talented and tenilic I really am.

This place is supposed to be wild and crazy, and completely out of control.

Hope I'm not bored.

[THUNDER RUMBLING]

[ANIMALS SNARLING AND HOWLING]

[LAUGHING NEARBY]

[AS JOHN WAYNE] It'll take a lot more than that to frighten me, pilgrim.

[SNARLING]

[IN NORMAL VOICE] It'll take something like that.

[SCHEAMING]

Welcome to Wackyland.

[LAUGHING MANIACALLY]

I don't think we're in Kansas anymore.

[SCHEAMING]

I like her. She's silly.

Hello. I'm Gogo Dodo. And that's all you need to know-o.

Well. Gogo. I'd like to "know-o" why you screamed at me like that.

Seemed like the wrong thing to do at the time.

[APE GIBBEHING]

| see.

Lucky you. I can't see a thing without my glasses.

[GOGO SIGHS]

Say, what brings a bunny like yourself to Wackyland, I wonder, pray tell?

No one appreciates me in Acme Acres. So I thought I'd try living here.

Well. You're gonna need someone to show you around.

You're light.

Hey, how about if you"?

[GOGO MIMICS SIREN WAILING]

Gaga Dodo, tour guide extraordinaire, at your service.

[GOGO MIMICS SIREN WAILING]

Please stay with your tour group.

[IN SOUTHERN ACCENT] Oh. This is so exciting.

Oh. Oh. What's that?

GOGO: The missing link.

Hi, Gaga, old sport. Can I buy you lunch?

Ha. Ha. This is my pen pal.

BABS [IN SOUTHERN ACCENT]: Oh. Look. The Rolling Stones.

Oh. And me without my autograph book.

[SLAMMING NEARBY]

[IN NORMAL VOICE] You know. I think I'm gonna like this place.

Pool Babs. Sent home hom school.

That will stay on her record for the rest of her life.

Gosh.

PLUCKY 2 She's branded.

People will avoid her because they'll know that she was sent home from school.

-Poor Babs is- BUSTER: Gone!

BOTH: Huh? - Listen.

“Buster. I have run away to Wackyland.

It was the only mature thing to do.“

Wackyland? Oh. Gee. Much o1 that is uncharted cartoon wilderness.

We've gotta find her.

Uh. Uh. Not me.

Don't sweat it. Chum. This trip will be a snap.

I've got just the thing.

I've been working on this in shop class.

It's my original lest-Iabbit-detect-o-metel device.

This puppy will lead us straight to Babs.

Wha...? Wha...? Hey. It's working already.

Follow me.

PLUCKY: My brilliant invention tells me Babs is in Wackyland.

He! Note told us that.

Ridicule is the burden oi genius.

Whoa!

Babs is somewhere in this neck of the woods.

HAMTON: I'm not going in there.

Whoa! Doesn't look like I got a choice!

Don't worry. You just wait here in case Babs shows up.

I'll check things out over there.

Uh. Uh. Okay.

[HUMMING "THE MERHY-GO-ROUND BROKE DOWN"]

Pardon me, pal, but you look out of your element.

You out of order?

- Um. Uh. Well... - Now everyone will know it.

You out of luck? Out of circulation?

Out of thin air? Out of season?

Are you out of bounds?

Well. Gee. I. Um...

Well. That's a five-yard penalty, pal. We're gonna have to punt.

[WHISTLE CHIRPS]

He's out of sight.

Hmm. What's this?

I love fly-fishing.

[SCOFFING]

[AS VALLEY GIRL] Gag me with a spoon. Is this like, what, the fork in the road?

Oh, my gosh, look at that. Ha.

Must be a private eye.

Ha, ha. Right, right, right.

You're getting the hang of Wackyland already.

I'm coming. Babs.

Yea-ow!

[SPITS]

[ALL LAUGHING]

How nice. Pay din.

[AS BLANCHE DUBOIS] Thank you.

I have always relied on the kindness of strangers.

[ALL LAUGHING]

[IN NORMAL VOICE] Stop. Ha-ha-ha.

I'm not that tunny.

[FAX MACHINE RINGS]

Eh. Ins! {he hi. Ma'am.

[BEEPING]

“We. The nutty natives oi Wackyland. Hereby invite you...

to a fancy-schmancy dinner at the loyal palace.“

[AS KATHERINE HEPBURN] Why. I'd be delighted to come. Really. I would.

Three cheers 10! Babs.

Three chairs 10! Babs.

Pandemonium doesn't reign around here. It pours.

Oh, these roust be the foothills.

“Old Smokey.“

Hmm.

Maybe if I climb up on top of Old Smokey, I'll be able to spot Babs.

Well. What do you know?

Hi. Pal.

You seen a gill bunny around here?

No.

[COUGHING]

Someone alert the Surgeon General.

Hey. Watch ii. Pal. I'm nobody's doughnut.

Ah, fancy meeting you guys here.

Yeah, nice of you to drop in.

Oh. I hate flying.

I generally opt for dry-cleaning, but, uh, what the heck.

[HUMMING]

Humph. Well, better to have the have in the soup...

than the soup in the hail. No?

Say. What's the big idea?

I am preparing dinner 10! The queen o1 Wackyland.

She's having some friends for dinner.

Oh. That's nice. Who?

Va us.

Dumbwaitels. Take this soup to the queen.

Don't worry. Guys.

I'm sure the queen is a kind. Gentle. Understanding...

QUEEN: Where's my dinner?

Balbalic monster?

QUEEN: Feed me.

What a waste. Eaten alive at such a young age.

BABS: Buster. - Babs. Is that you?

[GOGO BUZZES THEN CHUCKLES]

I'm sorry. But the answer is incorrect.

She is Queen Babs, the first ruler of Wackyland.

But thank you lo! Playing our game. And here is a lovely parting gilt.

Zip it, Gaga.

These are my pals.

I can't tell you how good it is to see you guys.

- We thought you might be lost. - O| in trouble.

OI eaten alive by some hideous slime-oozing creature.

Tom limb 110m limb.

[CLEARS THROAT]

I think she gets the picture.

Picture? Did somebody say picture?

All light.

There you go. Say “cheese.“

Cheese.

Stop acting silly.

I'm not acting.

[GOGO MIMICS SIREN WAILING]

Huh.

So. Babs. How are you?

Me? Oh. I'm great.

You sure you're all light?

Right as lain.

[BABS CHUCKLING]

So you're gonna stay here?

What, you kidding? This place is terrific.

Gee. I'm gonna miss you. Babs.

Well. I'll miss you too.

Acme Acres won't be the same without you.

You guys can visit me anytime. You know.

Sure. We will. Ha. Ha.

Well, guys. Let's get going.

I'd rather not find out what this place is like when it gets dark.

See you around. Kiddo.

[HAMTON SNIFFLES]

HAMTON: Bye. Babs. BARS: Come hack soon.

Boy. Has she got it good.

Oh. I don't know.

Me neither.

Eh. What are you guys talking about?

She's queen. She's loyalty. She's...

- [IN UNISON] Miserable. - Huh?

PEN PAL: Hi, pal. Hi. CAMERA 8| SPOON: Ha-ha-ha.

Cheese. Cheese. Cheese.

Come on, dots, and do the polka.

The fax of the matter are irrelevant.

Did somebody call 10! An elephant?

SiOp!

I can't take this anymore.

Look, you're all a lot of laughs, but you have to learn some self-control.

You've got to learn some self-control.

Some self-control.

MRS. BUNNY 2 Self-control.

Is there an echo in here?

[PEN PAL GASPS]

She said " self-control "!

[BEEPING]

“Article nine of the peanut code...

strictly forbids the use of self-control while in Wackyland.“

OH with he! Head.

ALL: Let's get her.

I gotta get out of here.

[PANTING]

Oh. No. Which door should I choose?

FAX MACHINE: Door Number 1.

PEN PAL: Door Number 2.

ALL: Take the money.

So. What's it gonna be?

Door Number 1? Door Number 2?

OI Door Number 3?

Pick Number 1.

Pick me. Monty. I'm dressed like a turnip.

PEN PAL: Number 2. PAY DIRT: Number 3.

I'll take Door Number 3.

Hey. Babs. Bubs/e. Sign light here.

[SCREAMS]

MY agent.

[MOB SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY]

Good thing I didn't have that carrot cake 10! Dessert last night.

I'll tell you. Babs is unhappy.

DOOR: Knock. Knock.

Ah, cut it out. You know I hate those kind of jokes.

No. Look.

Oh, Buster, being queen was awful.

I missed you guys so much.

I wanna go home.

MOB: There she is. Stop her.

Come on, let's roll.

Oh, no, how are we gonna get out of here?

The only way to get out o1 here is to leave the way you didn't come in.

Well. We used the bridge to come in. Soto get oui. We can't use the bridge?

Hmm. Could be.

BUSTER: Gulp. PEN PAL: Stop them!

Well. It's worth a try.

Come on.

Thanks, Gaga.

Oh. Don't mention it.

Remember what Professor Fudd said:

Whatever you do. Don't look down.

Phew.

Safe. —Boy, I've learned my lesson.

From now on. Self-control is my middle name.

I thought it was Anne.

ELMER: Babs. I really want to commend you.

You're like a new rabbit.

Gee. Thanks.

[STUDENTS SNICKERING]

ELMER: Gee. What's so funny. Fellas?

I just can't help myself.

And that's a wrap.

[ENGLISH SDH]