Original subtitles

- We're tiny. - We're toon-y.

ALL: We're all a little loony.

And in this cartoon-y We're invading your TV.

BOTH: We're comic dispensers.

We crack up all the censors.

ALL: On Tiny Toon Adventures Get a dose of comedy.

So here's Acme Acres It's a whole wide world apart.

Our home sweet home It stands alone.

A cartoon work of art.

The scripts were rejected Expect the unexpected.

ALL: On Tiny Toon Adventures It's about ta start.

PLUCKY: They're furry. They're funny.

BOTH: They're Babs and Buster Bunny.

ALL: Montana Max has money Elmyra is a pain.

BUSTER: Here's Hamton. - And Plucky.

BA BS: Dizzy Devil's yucky.

ALL: Furrba/Vs unlucky And Gaga is insane.

At Acme Looniversity We earn our Toon degree.

The teaching staff's been getting laughs Since 1933.

We're tiny We're toon-y.

We're all a little loony.

R's Tiny Toon Adventures Come and join the fun.

BOTH: And now our song is done.

PLUCKY: And to cap off my truly stupendous weekend...

I infiltrated a secret spy ling...

and arm-wrestled 50 evildoers.

Thus saving Acme Acres once again...

thanks to my invincible heroics...

and good-natured party-mallard personality.

Huh? Huh?

Oh. Sorry. Babs. The sudden silence startled me.

[WHISPERS] Don't you think you laid it on a little thick. Plucky?

[WHISPERS] Not to tip the plot or anything...

but someday all that bragging is gonna get you in a lot of trouble.

Oh. Relax. Guys.

Speeches have to be colorful, don't they?

[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

Well. What have we... I say. What have we here?

Meet Frank and Ollie, new transfer students...

who need to get acquainted with the Loonivelsity.

Glad to have you. Kids.

Whereabouts do you come 110m. Anyway?

Uh-huh.

Uh. Cute little tykes. But I think they're about hali a quart low.

All right, which one...

I say, which one of you'd like to show Frank and Ollie around?

Loonivelsity tours are my specialty. Sir.

Nobody': more qualified.

Everything in my life has led up to this moment.

Deep-six the sermon. Son.

Just go show them the ropes.

Phew. That duck spits out more words than a dictionary in a garbage disposal.

Uh, speaking of garbagen...

- Whai? - Who wrote today's script?

Be nice.

This is the school lab.

Let me know it I'm getting too technical to! You.

Oi course. Advanced chemistry is a snap 10! Someone oi my high IO.

A little of this, a dash of that.

It's really very simple when you're a genius.

[SLURPS THEN GULPING]

[SIGHS]

Ah, the miracles of science.

Mm.

Root beer.

And finally, here's our hallowed athletic field...

scene of many record-breaking performances by yours truly.

Ah. Yes. Too bad you couldn't see me in action.

The picture of grace as I planted the old pole.

[SCHEAMING]

[SCHOOL BELL RINGS]

[ALL SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY]

HeY. Where's Plucky? Isn't he gonna walk home with us?

Oh. I don't know.

Old motor mouth is probably still on his tour with those new students.

I don't know.

Even one of Plucky's tours wouldn't last this long.

Well. Not too shabby. Huh. Guys? What do you think?

We think you're perfect.

Our planet sent us...

to bring back the bravest. Strongest and fastest Earthling alive.

And you're it.

[STAMMERS] Uh. Planet? Earthling?

Oh-ho-ho. Now. Wait a minute.

[HUMBLING]

Plucky's been ducknapped by aliens.

[SCHEAMING]

PLUCKY [STAMMERS]: Some students.

Some transfer.

Must be foreign exchange students. Maybe France.

We apologize 10! Tricking you. Plucky...

but you're our only hope.

Our people lack courage. We need a brave leader.

OLLIE: Like you.

Well. When you put it that way...

I guess I do fit the bill. Don't I?

Fellow citizens. Meet our new leader.

Plucky Duck.

[FANFAHE PLAYS ON PHONOGRAPH]

[ALL CHEERING]

I never realized aliens had such impeccable taste.

[YELLS]

[SCREAMS]

[THUD]

Ooh. The elders will be pleased with us...

“.101 finding such a brave warrior to save our planet.

[OVER MONITOR] Yes- And' it's gonna take all the bravery Quick]! Has.

To conquer the evil space tyrant. Duck Vader.

[GHOWLS]

The duck makes how much? Gloss or net?

I don't know. But that's what I heal.

With or without points?

With.

That can't be light. He's not even a star.

Get my agent on the phone.

DIRECTOR: Uh. Heh. Ready on the set. Uh. Places. People.

Come on now. Slate it. Cameras rolling.

SLATE GUY: "A Quack in the Quarks." Act 2. Take 2.

DIRECTOR: And action.

Mucky': been ducknapped by spacemen.

Quick, meet me in the Prop Department.

- Right. - You got it.

Wherever you are. Plucky. Old buddy. Hang on to your ieathels.

We'll find you.

Patience. Plucky.

These hero tests are merely to prove to the planet elders...

that you quality as our new leader.

[CLANGS]

[GASPS]

Patience. 'Folks.

We guarantee this Earthling will measure up.

Uh. Next test.

OLLIE [OVER SPEAKER]: How are you at weightlifting?

Ale you kidding?

[IN STHAINED VOICE] I'm the best darn weight lifter in the universe.

ELDER: That does it. We've seen enough.

Oh. I'm so glad.

[WHISPERS] I don't understand.

Plucky said he was the best.

ELDER: Guards, take them away.

[IN NORMAL VOICE] Well. It's about time.

What color is my limo? And where we going?

Oh. You don't want to know.

Keep looking. Guys. It's in here somewhere.

HAMTON: Buster. Over here. I found it.

Great. All light, everybody. Stand clear.

ALL: Ooh!

All aboard.

Prepare to blast off.

Aye. Aye. Captain.

BUSTER: Ignition.

Blast off!

Sorry you can't come with us. Elders. Bui. Uh. I'll bring you a souvenir. Hmm?

[THUD]

FRANK: Oh. Wise elders. Please reconsider.

On Earth. We saw Plucky perform amazing feats.

ELDER: Then you shouldn't mind joining him...

on his ultimate chance to prove himself.

Hey, is this any way to treat a guest?

This tour better be good. I'm a busy leader. You know.

Ah. My loyal beanbag.

Perfect for napping.

OLLIE: No. Plucky. That's... [GHOWLS]

[THUD]

Chewcudda. Meet Plucky.

Plucky. Chewcudda.

[BLOWS RASPBERRY]

[SNORTS]

[LAUGHS NEHVOUSLY]

[SNARLS]

Never show Chewcudda anything led. Not even your tongue.

It's the bull in him.

Don't worry. I won't.

It's the chicken in me.

[HUMBLING]

[BOTH GASP]

- Oh. No. - He's here.

Who's here? Who? It it isn't one interruption. It's two.

It's... It's... [IN UNISON] Duck Vader.

DUCK VADER: Who dares stand in Duck Vader's way 0t destroying Planet X?

Uh. Plucky Duck. Our great leader.

Go on. Plucky. Show him who is boss.

Yeah. Okay. Sure.

He doesn't look so scaly to me.

[SIZZLES]

Is it suddenly hot in here. Or is it just me?

BUSTER: Remember. In space no one can heal you quack.

Gee. Babs. Outer space is bigger than I thought.

How are we ever gonna find Plucky?

How? I'm glad you asked.

With the help of our trusty Acrne computer and one of Pluclry's feathers...

retrie\red conveniently frorn the scene of the abduction.

Computer. Find this duck.

[LAUGHING HYSTEHICALLY]

Uh—oh. Don't look now, but Pluclty's feather is tickling the computer.

That's over-explaining a plot point.

BUSTER: She's out o1 control!

You know. I've always been curious.

How come they call you iellows storm troopers?

[MIMICS THUNDER CRASHING]

I had to ask.

We know you're allowing yourself to be captured...

just to lull Duck Vader into a false sense of security.

But don't you think it's time you walloped him?

DUCK VADER: Silence. My intergalactic zappel lay...

will soon blast Planet X into goat cheese.

But fillet. We'll test it on you.

[LAUGHS]

I'm warning you, wise guy...

you better think twice before you test anything on me.

Because I do lousy on tests.

DUCK VADER: Soon you will be turned into goat cheese. You foolish hero, you.

Any last words, doomed one?

Yes. I'm allergic to goat cheese.

[SNEEZES]

[SNEEZES]

Bless me.

[ALL SCREAMING]

DUCK VADER: Oh. Do I have to do everything myseli?

Follow him.

Come on. Come on. Come On.

[ELEVATOR DINGS]

[ALL PANTING]

Plucky. Why did you tell us that you were the best on Earth?

Hey. Guys. I was just having a little fun.

I didn't think it would hurt anything.

But you fibbed.

Hone of it was true.

Now we'll be destroyed by Duck Vader's troops.

Says who?

This is one duck who's not running another step.

Well. Maybe just a iew more steps.

[CHUCKLES]

[COMPUTER LAUGHING HYSTERICALLY]

Yeehaw. Whoa. Little doggy! I can't hold he! Down much longer.

O01. Any blight ideas?

[WHISPERING INDISTINCTLY]

You know. It's so crazy it just might work.

[LAUGHING HYSTEHICALLY]

BUSTER: All hands. Stand by.

Peel onions.

[ALL CRYING]

[COMPUTER LAUGHING THEN SOBBING]

I've been a bad computer.

So far. So good.

Now to figure out where we are.

Ow! Hey. Why don't you watch“? Gulp.

Uh. Don't look now. Gang. But we've got company.

[BEEPING]

Buster. Plucky's aboard that ship.

Then we're going in.

Spaceships ho!

[BELL RINGS]

Stay with the ship, Harnton. I'll call if we find trouble.

Remember, Babs. We're parked in A-5.

I think we lost them.

DUCK VADER [OVER PA]: Is this thing an? 0h.

Attention, all storm troopers.

Two minutes till we destroy Planet X.

Our planet.

It's doomed.

Baloney. You're not gonna give up now. Are you?

But we can never win against Duck Vader.

Never say never. Nobody can beat you except you.

Let the force be your umbrella.

If you belie ye you can do it, you can do it.

And I know you have what it takes to beat these goons.

- Heafly? - Heafly?

PLUCKY: You bet. Now get in there and get tough.

Remember, a stitch in time saves. Um. A lot o1 embarrassment.

You can lead a horse to water, you know, but, uh, a pencil roust be lead.

When the going gets tough. This duck goes bye-bye.

Yeah. Come on. Duck Vader.

We're not scaled.

- Yeah. - Yeah.

"Plucky? 41mm?"

BOTH: Hee-ya!

[BOTH SCREAM]

Hey, wait. Hold it.

SiOp!

Buster. Babs.

Oh. Boy. Am I glad to see you.

A whole planet's about to be destroyed.

What was this. The rehearsal?

BUSTER: Hamton. We got trouble out here.

Help us. Quick.

Coming. Buster.

Yipe!

You're not Buster. But how did you...?

DUCK VADER [AS BUSTER]: Help. Hamton! Come quick!

[IN NORMAL VOICE] Heh. I also do magic tricks. Like making pigs disappear.

[LAUGHING MANIACALLY]

DUCK VADER [OVER PA]: Eleven seconds... Nu, 10 seconds until we destroy Planet X.

Lock death ray on target.

Phew. Good thing I always carry a can of this with me.

Don't you wish everybody did?

DUCK VADER [OVER PA]: Five, four, three, two, one.

Fire.

0h. Blast. I said. 'Fire.'

Ha! I'd like to see that clod Duck Vader stop us now.

DUCK VADER: Be caleiul what you wish 101. Mallard.

Say. Has anyone ever told you you smell exactly like ('JO-weight motor oil?

[GHOANS]

So now you're sole. Huh. Steam-iron breath?

DUCK VADER: Very perceptive.

But you're all going to cheer me up just by standing on that platform.

Uh. Thanks but no thanks. Helmet-head.

We won't do it and you can't make us.

Nah. Nah. Nah-nah-nah.

DUCK VADER: Oh. Really?

ALL: Hamton!

DUCK VADER: The plaflolm or the pig. It's your decision.

Well. I don't know. That plaflolm is pretty nice.

The pig works cheap.

You know. I'm getting double scale to! This episode.

[IN UNISON] You what?

DUCK VADER: Well?

ALL: We're thinking. We're thinking.

Okay. The platform.

DUCK VADER: I knew you'd come around.

Let the force he your umbrella.

BOTH: Nah.

Never say never.

BOTH: Nah.

Never show Chewcudda anything led. Not even your tongue.

- That's it. - That's it.

[FRANK AND OLLIE WHOOPING]

DUCK VADER: Hey. Play fail. Hold still.

O01.

Huh?

[SNARLING]

[BEEPING]

[ALARM WAILING]

DUCK VADER: I've been flamed. Really.

[CROWD CHEERING]

ELDER: And for saving our beloved Planet X...

we proclaim you. Frank and Ollie. Our new leaders.

And we're history majors. Ta-ta.

Humph. Easy come. Easy go. I guess.

Plucky. We couldn't have done it without you.

We really did pick the best duck lo! The job alter all.

Aw. Shucks.

Well. It's nothing I haven't done betole. You know. That reminds me 0t the time I...

[IN UNISON] Plucky!

Hey, if I'm lying, may a laser strike me.

[LASERS BLASTING]

Parting is such sweet sorrow.

[ENGLISH SDH]