Original subtitles

- Welcome all to Byjovia's Tournament of Knights.

[cheers and applause]

Today, competitors from across the land will compete

in a myriad of events that test their strength,

agility, and courage.

Only one will emerge victorious.

And unto him, I will bestow the greatest honor of all.

[unsettling music]

- Is King Gastley sounding a bit off to you?

- Let us toast the competitors.

[grumbling, babbling]

- Very weird.

- Ugh. - [groans]

I'd forgotten how infuriating it is

to puppet an imbecile.

So few brain cells to work with.

- Oh, speaking of brain cells, silly me.

I-I totally left the cauldron on!

I'll just pop back to the castle to just turn it off...

- Sit.

- [winces] I would also like

to introduce my new royal sorceress, Fendra!

[dramatic music]

[all gasp, muttering concernedly]

- I thought magic was outlawed.

- Ugh.

- You will cheer for Fendra!

[cheers and applause]

- [chuckles] That's better.

- [groaning]

May the best knight win.

[cheers and applause]

[tense music]

- [laughs]

[upbeat music]

- ? Lotta people tellin' me what I should be ?

? But I wanna make my own destiny ?

- [growls] - ? Got a feelin' ?

? That it might be time for me ?

? To find my own way - [grunts]

- ? 'Cause I can feel it in my heart ?

? It takes a lot to be brave, but just a little to start ?

? Let's go take a million chances ?

? Let's go change our circumstances ?

? I'm gonna write my own story ?

? And the hero is me ?

- You know, if the fate of the kingdom wasn't

dangling by a thread,

this tournament would actually be pretty cool.

Check out all these knights. They're awesome.

- Make way. - [gasps]

- Sir Handsomeandgorgeous is coming through.

[laughs]

[horse neighs] - Ugh.

- Really, dude?

- Cutting the line? Seriously?

- What a jerk.

All right, Midknights, this is it.

After we get through the gate,

we'll head to the castle to rescue King Conrad.

Then we'll find Alice and Nolan

and deal with the whole evil Millie situation.

- Is it just me, or have they doubled security since we left?

- Oi, this way.

- Uh, tripled, by my count.

- You, over here for your inspection.

- Did they say "Inspection"?

- Guys, just relax, okay?

Remember our disguises.

Nobody's gonna suspect a knight,

a squire, a page boy, and...

[horse sniffing] A...

- [neigh-honks]

- Hoose? - [chuckles nervously]

Uh, nothin' to smell here.

What? [horse whinnies distantly]

- Just act like you belong.

[thunderous clanging]

[both whimper]

[tense music]

- How are we going to find King Conrad?

- Well, first, we have to get across this throne room.

? ?

- At our size, the journey

to that door will be no small feat.

- I know, Nolan, but the Midknights are counting on us.

- You're right.

We have to succeed.

For Kevyn.

- For Kevyn.

Both: For Kevyn!

For Kevyn!

[both squeaking]

- Okay, almost through.

- Name?

- Uh, Sir... Joustsalot.

- Okay, you can...

hey, hang on.

Sir Joustsalot already checked in.

- I mean Sir Joustsabunch.

- Sir Joustsabunch, eh?

What's wrong with your horse?

- Nothing. He's just a-a rare breed.

- Native to our kingdom.

- Mm, and what kingdom is that?

- The Kingdom of, uh...

[horse chomps] - [honks]

- The Kingdom of Honk.

Got it. All right, this way.

- Phew.

[grand medieval music]

Great job, Midknights.

Now on to the castle, where... ah.

- All knights must report to the arena.

- But we were just about to... [clears throat]

Check out the city,

take in Byjovia's famous sights and sounds.

- Gardyloo!

- Ennh? - Ooh, wow.

- Where's the gift shop?

- Did that horse just talk?

- No. - Nope.

- Uh-uh.

[tense music]

? ?

[fanfare]

- Games are startin'.

- Move, move. Keep going.

This way.

- I'm not ready to compete.

I-I haven't stretched yet. - Yep!

Stretching, very important.

I mean, how can he joust if he's not limber?

- Too bad.

- [gasps]

Mom and Dad.

- Keep moving. - [whimpers]

No.

[grim music]

? ?

[fanfare]

? ?

- Max, this is bad.

Like, really bad.

- We'll think of something.

For now, let's just stay calm and keep a low profile.

[cheers and applause]

- Sir Joustsabunch from the Kingdom of Honk.

- Where is Honk?

- Where's Honk?

- I've never heard of Honk.

- [squeaks nervously] Max, look.

[dramatic musical sting]

- Oh boy.

- Uh, just keep walking. [laughs]

[whispers] They won't know you're not a squire.

- [honks] - [mumbles worriedly]

Squire, squire, squire, squire, squire.

- [whispers] Everyone remain calm.

- Who said I'm not calm?

- Calm as a cucumber.

- Did they say the "Kingdom of Honk"?

Where on earth is that? - Great question.

I think it's right here.

Oh, wait. No, here.

I mean, wait, uh.

Aw, here, right here.

Wait, I think it's upside down.

Let's figure this out.

Huh! - Would you stop that?

- I don't think Fendra saw us,

but we've got to get out of here before she does.

That guard'll be back to make me compete any minute.

- Look, Max.

It appears the tournament takes place in brackets.

Each knight will compete in three events

in the first round.

Should he fail any individual event,

he will be disqualified from the tournament.

- So it's as simple as that.

You guys stay here so Fendra doesn't spot you,

and I'll go out there and lose.

- All knights must report to the arena

for the first event...

archery!

[arrow whistles, thunks]

[cheers and applause]

- Ha, perfect. Just miss your target

and we'll be cruisin' to the castle.

- Yep. I'll even close my eyes.

[upbeat rock music]

? ?

- A bull's-eye for Sir Joustsabunch.

- [gasps]

Oh, come on!

- Show off. Hmph.

- Ugh.

[fanfare]

- Sir Joustsabunch qualifies for the next round.

- [groans]

- Yay! - Sir Joustsabunch.

- [laughs] - What a ridiculous name.

- I know, right?

[laughing]

I mean, outrageous.

- What is wrong with you?

- [guffaws]

Oh, that's cracking me up.

That's so funny.

- [winces]

- What happened out there?

I would be proud of how magically great are at archery,

but you were supposed to lose.

- I tried! My eyes were closed.

[fanfare]

- All qualifying knights must report to the pitch

for the second event, sword fighting.

- Okay, here I go.

Off to lose.

- Ah, no daggers allowed.

Fighting must be done with a standard-sized broadsword only.

- Right. I knew that.

Th... aanks.

[grunting]

- This is a disaster. - Relax.

She just needs to go out there and not win.

- And survive.

Let's not forget the old survive part.

[upbeat rock music]

- Whoa.

[laughter]

[groans] - [laughs]

Well, this is going to be easy.

- Any chance you'll let me forfeit?

- No. - Didn't think so.

- Isn't that knight a little small?

- No, he's just really far away.

I'm sure up close he's huge.

- Simon, I'm sorry, but I must return to my house

to search for my parents.

Rendezvous at my house later.

- Okay. Good luck.

- The duel we've all been waiting for...

Sir Joustsalot versus Sir Joustsabunch.

The winner will proceed to the next round.

- [straining]

Whoa! - [grunts]

Wah-ha!

- [yelps] - Ha! [growls]

Am I a joke to you?

- [laughs] I mean, not a very good one.

- [grunts furiously]

- [grunting]

? ?

- [whimpers]

[gasps] - Now, pardon us, dear boy,

but did we overhear that you're from Honk?

- Did we hear that? - Huh?

Uh, yes. [laughs]

Now, if you would excuse me.

- [chuckles] Oh, he's from...

well, we're from Honk too, did ya know?

- [laughs] I say, this as a delight.

Which region are you from?

- Uh, near the border? - The border?

But, uh, my dear boy,

ha, Honk is an island.

- It certainly feels that way sometimes, doesn't it?

- [laughs]

This guy'd be a hoot on Honksgiving.

- [laughs] He's right about that.

- [gasps] Marjory,

are you thinkin' what I'm thinkin'?

- Oh, you bet I am. - [gulps]

- Ugh! Just chop the little one's head off already.

At this rate, it'll be days

before I get the knight's courage.

Maybe I should just go and duel them myself,

see who survives.

- Uh, and dirty your hands fighting these guys?

You don't wanna do that. I mean,

these battles just need a little razzle-dazzle,

that's all.

[clears throat] Allow me.

[crackling]

[cheers and applause]

- Wah! [grunts]

- Very good razzle-dazzle, Millicent.

Very good indeed.

- Aah!

- Ha, Joustsabunch.

[scoffs] More like Runs A Bunch.

Swing at me, you scared petit poulet.

- Ha! Yeah, buddy, I'm tryin'.

[both grunting]

? ?

[sword humming, sizzling]

- [yells]

Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!

[yelping]

Ooh! Hot.

Aah!

[screaming]

[cheers and applause]

- Sir Joustsalot's down.

Sir Joustsabunch proceeds to the next event.

- No.

[cheers and applause]

- [groans]

- So that's Patricia, and that's Hilary...

- I really cannot stress how urgently

I must go find my parents, so...

- And last but not least, Geraldine.

Oh, she's a prized chicken milker.

The best. - So...

which of our 12 daughters would you like to marry?

- I beg your pardon? I am 10.

- Oh, precisely, dear boy.

Time's a wastin'.

Now, which one of these beauties will it be then?

- That's quite kind,

but I should really be on my way!

- There's also our son,

though he's more interested in reading than matrimony.

Always goin' on about books, books, books.

- Oh. Is his portrait on here?

[bright music]

? ?

[fanfare]

- Please welcome all competitors

for our third event, spear throwing.

- Behold, I have arrived.

[laughs] Soak in the gorgeousness.

[laughs]

- [gasps]

- [grunts]

[upbeat music]

[exclaims]

- Sir Handsomeandgorgeous proceeds to the final event.

- This is finally getting interesting.

- [laughs smugly]

- Uh.

[tense music]

? ?

- Sir Joustsabunch loses

and is disqualified from the tournament.

- Yes, finally.

[fanfare]

- Oh! Ooh. Oh.

Okay. Eh, I hope this works.

- Ooh, Sir Clumsyfumbles trips.

Oh my.

The spear is hurtling... - Aah!

- Right for the crowd. - Aah!

- [gasps]

[grunts]

[low tense music]

? ?

[cheers and applause]

- And Sir Joustsabunch saves the crowd

and hits a perfect bull's-eye.

- Yes, milady?

- [thickly] Look, Fendra!

I can put my whole fist in my mouth.

See?

The trick is to go palm first.

- Ensure that Sir Joustsabunch participates

in the final bracket.

- [whimpers]

- Change of plans.

You're up next for the final event.

- Huh? - Jousting.

- But I was disqualified.

- Not anymore.

Prepare your horse, now!

[horse whinnies distantly]

- Horse? Sheesh.

Where are you gonna get a horse so last minute?

[sadly] Oh, me.

[honk-neighs] - Just breathe.

- [honking, panting]

- Simon's right. We can do this.

I mean, how bad can jousting be?

[dramatic music]

[horse neighs]

- Get the medic!

- Forget that. Get the undertaker.

- And some buckets!

- There's so much blood!

- [crying, groaning in agony]

- Heh. [gulps]

- What are you gonna do?

With jousting, it looks like you either win or you die.

- There's only one choice, Simon.

I have to take the hit.

Time is running out for King Conrad,

not to mention Alice and Nolan.

Speaking of which, where is Kevyn?

- Really, I can't stress enough how much I must go.

- Uh, now hold it right there.

I'm almost done.

Only fair our son gets a glimpse of ya too.

- Oh, I can just picture the look on his face

when he sees how perfectly round your head is,

like a sphere.

[both laugh] - Uh.

[fanfare]

- Presenting competitor Sir Joustsabunch.

[cheers and applause] - Go Sir Joustsabunch!

- You can do it! - [cheers]

- Uh, well,

if this is how I go,

at least it's in front of a packed house.

- We can do this, Uncle Budrick.

Just trust me.

We'll leave this arena in one piece.

Uh, two at most.

- [groans]

[fanfare]

- Presenting competitor Sir Handsomeandgorgeous!

- Behold, I have arrived.

[all swoon, laugh]

- Yes! Whoo!

- Hmm. Not my type.

- My lance, boy, my lance!

What am I supposed to joust with, my perfect hair?

Ugh!

[upbeat rock music]

[horse neighs]

[laughs]

? ?

- Millie, there you are.

[horse neighs]

[cheers and applause]

- [grunts]

- Simon? [both groan]

- I won't let you hurt Max.

- I'm not hurting her.

I'm saving her.

- As if I believe you, you pickle.

[cheers and applause]

[horse neighs]

? ?

- [growls]

You need to trust me.

- How can I trust you when you broke my heart?

You were my only family.

- I'm sorry.

- [grunts, pants]

[magical crackling] - [groans]

- [growls]

both: Aah! [Max groans]

[tense music]

?

[audience gasps]

[dark music]

- No! - [gasps]

[cheers and applause]

- Hmm? [laughs]

[cheering, laughter]

- Max? Max!

[whimpers]

- Hmm.

Sir Handsomeandgorgeous.

- You... you killed Max!

How could you?

- No!

Simon, wait!

? ?

- [grunting]

- Max! [gasps]

Say something, please.

- This can't be. [cries]

- Oh, no.

She's...

- [laughs] I'm totally fine.

- How? But you and the lance...

uh, huh? - [laughs]

I mean, I don't know what happened.

I-I saw it coming right for me, but when it hit,

I didn't feel a thing.

Next thing I knew, I was on the ground,

so I played dead to make sure I was disqualified.

Was it convincing? - [sadly] Uh, yes, it was.

- But, uh... but I saw Millie cast a spell on you,

and she's all, you know, eyeball book now.

- Hey, for your information, I've been up in the box all day

preventing Fendra from seeing you.

When I saw Max was about to take the hit,

I made her armor temporarily indestructible.

See?

- I knew you were still a Midknight.

- Mm-mm.

I'm not buying it.

If you're on our side, why'd you use magic on me?

- Because Max was about to get shish-kebabed

and you wanted to play tug-of-war.

Look, I know last time you saw me

things were a little crazy.

- That's an understatement.

- But I had to pretend to be on Fendra's side

to protect King Conrad!

Dude, I practically told you

I was doing a classic "One of us."

- What? You did not!

- I did too.

I winked at you.

Didn't you see?

[dramatic music]

- Millie.

But you and me.

- You're not one of us.

- That was not a wink, Millie. - [gasps]

- That was a blink! - Pfft.

What? No way. That was a wink.

I'll do it again right now.

- Yeah, no, you... you gotta... - You're just blinking.

Still blinking. That's a blink.

- You're still blinking!

- Oh, yeah, I always forget that part.

Millie, you pickle!

- Wait, Millie, does this mean you know where King Conrad is?

- Yes!

Well, no, not exactly.

But I know he's somewhere in the castle,

along with your parents, Kevyn.

- [exhales] My parents.

Thank goodness they're alive.

I must tell them the news of my engagement.

[together] Engagement?

- What? - Mm-hmm.

He's Honk's top scholar.

Of course, the ceremony won't be till

after we've both completed college,

where I'm gonna major in sub...

- Kevyn, I love this for you, um,

but we need to explain later, 'cause we have

to capitalize on Fendra being away from the castle,

And now that the Midknights are back together,

nothing can stop us, right?

So let's go.

[light plucky music]

? ?

- Hey, Simon, I'm sorry for breaking your heart.

- Well, it's feeling a little less broken

now that we're together again.

- Max, is that you?

- Wow. Ha.

Hang on, Byjovia.

The Midknights are here to help.

?

[ominous music]

? ?

[both sigh] - We did it.

- [sighs] - We did it!

We reached the other side of the throne room.

[both gasp]

- [snarls]

both: Aah!

- [chitters]

[sniffs]

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