Original subtitles

[dramatic music]

? ?

[whooshing]

What's wrong, Henrietta?

Another bad dream?

Oh! Guards!

- [clanking] - Your Majesty!

Oh, no!

Oh!

[gasping] Oh, look at the-oh.

Ugh.

- Ah. You really ought to get

some better security around here.

Ugh, Fendra.

What is it?

Why have I been disturbed during nap time?

Because I've lost Mumblin.

For a moment there, I was sensing his presence.

But now, nothing.

Zilch!

I won't be bested by him.

Not again!

If I didn't know you better,

I'd think you sound a little paranoid.

You think I'm overreacting?

Uh, no!

No, no, no, no, no.

I-I-I don't.

But uh, Henrietta here thinks that, uh, maybe you are.

[high-pitch voice] We are just worried about you.

- You tell Henrietta that she underestimates Mumblin

at her peril!

If we don't find him, he could destroy everything!

Do we understand each other?

Hen-ri-et-ta?

- Mm-hmm.

[upbeat music]

- ? Lotta people tellin' me what I should be ?

? But I wanna make my own destiny ?

- [growls] - ? Got a feelin' ?

? That it might be time for me ?

- ? To find my own way ? - [grunts]

- ? 'Cause I can feel it in my heart ?

? It takes a lot to be brave, but just a little to start ?

? Let's go take a million chances ?

? Let's go change our circumstances ?

? I'm gonna write my own story ?

? And the hero is me ?

? ?

- [grunting] Hi-ya!

So here's the thing.

Being on a quest is awesome!

Sure we're on the road all the time, battling the elements.

And there's-

So much walking.

But who cares about that?

Not only did we make it out of Byjovia alive,

but there's a prophecy about us and everything.

We are unstoppable!

[honks]

- Glad you're feeling all the happy prophecy vibes, Max.

But maybe we should stop-

to eat?

We could eat.

But what's the point?

What's the point of anything now that my magic's gone?

Really? Nothing still?

- Not since the bubble that got us out of Byjovia,

which means I must not be magic after all.

[all sighing]

Oh, magic gods, why have you forsaken me?

Don't lose hope, Millie.

You did magic once.

Surely you'll do it again.

- Kevyn's right. You'll get your magic working.

Remember, with the prophecy on our side,

what could go wrong?

We're out of food.

[gasps]

Egad!

We'll starve!

- [belches] Might I recommend worms?

[slurping]

[belches]

- Nope. Nuh-uh.

Worms won't cut it.

Not enough fiber.

[sighs] We'll just have to eat one of us.

All right, might as well be me.

If I'm not magic anymore, what-what good am I anyway?

Right? Have at it.

- And on day nine, due to a dearth of food,

the Midknights were forced to eat one of their own.

- I knew I should have sent the kids off

with a few more sandwiches.

Ooh!

[clanking, shouting]

Oh.

Don't worry, Nolan.

It's just me.

Oh, good.

But look at the latest from Kevyn.

Wait.

Eat who now?

OK.

Start here.

That's where the most meat is.

- First, you know I'm a vegetarian.

And second, nobody's eating anybody!

- Seriously, everyone needs to relax.

We've got the prophecy!

And the prophecy wouldn't let us starve.

? ?

See?

What'd I tell you?

- Huh, maybe the prophecy is looking out for us.

Of course it is!

We'll make a pit stop, eat our fill,

then get back on the road!

Problem solved!

[slurping]

OK, do what you want.

But the offer still stands.

No hard feelings.

? ?

[grunting]

Ooh?

- ? Wish for of all I see ?

[grunting] No!

Nothing!

Absolutely nothing!

You?

No.

I just can't understand it.

There's no record of a sorceress

named Fendra anywhere!

Bingo!

[whack] Ahh! I'm OK!

- It's like she just appeared out of thin air!

- ? I'm so lonely without you ?

- Come on, Midknights, let's eat.

Be right in.

Just have to use the little goose's room.

[farting]

[indistinct grumbling]

- Don't you talk that way to me.

[door creaking]

all: Hmm?

? ?

Uh...

- Real friendly place they got here.

Is there a reason why

everyone's, like, scowling at us?

What do you want?

- Five cups of water and some of that

world-famous curry, please.

You don't say.

Listen up, everyone.

Our new guests here want food!

[laughter]

Pardon me, good sir.

But this is a tavern, is it not?

Aye, it's a tavern.

But we ain't got no food, ever since that nitwit Ghastly

shut down all trade going in and out of Byjovia

trying to catch some outlaws or some such.

Outlaws, you say?

Don't know anything about that.

- Yeah, we're the opposite of outlaws!

We're in-laws!

I mean, we're not related.

But uh-I'll stop talking.

- Uh... - As I was saying,

we can't get no provisions from the north neither

on account of those pesky trolls

that keep robbing the wagons!

Trolls?

As in real trolls?

Of course, real trolls!

They operate a toll bridge just over yonder.

- Uh, I thought trolls were made-up stuff

from fairy tales.

Oh, no, Max.

I assure you they're real.

Remember, we're in the north now,

where such magical creatures actually exist.

- Except...[grunts] This creature.

[grunting] Me, who isn't magical.

Hey.

[door creaking]

Whew!

I feel about 5 pounds lighter, if you know what I-uh...

[slurping]

[laughs]

Yeah, I know I'm a goose.

[laughs]

Friends, friends, friends, friends, I-

I apologize for the rude reception before.

Allow me to make it up to you by giving you

the best table in the house.

And here's a complimentary bottle

of my signature magic seasoning!

Magic seasoning?

Thanks.

You bet!

Even autographed it for you.

This way.

- Pretty abrupt mood shift, don't you think?

- Like I've been saying, with the prophecy on our side,

everything's gonna be a-OK.

[thudding]

[squawking]

Wait!

- What? - Max!

- You were saying? - Ah!

[grunting]

Give me back my goose- Uncle Budrick!

Sorry, girlie.

I haven't had real food in-

oh, I don't even know how long!

No, this goose is getting seasoned, cooked, and eaten!

Hey!

[cheers, laughter]

Listen, it's a long story.

Mishap with a wizard, but I'm not really a goose!

I'm a man!

I'm a troubadour!

- Two wings, a beak- you're a goose!

Don't do it! Don't cook him.

We uh-we'll get you something else to eat!

[scoffs]

There is nothing else to eat.

Haven't you been listening?

The trolls!

You said yourself, they've been stealing all your food.

What if we got it back for you?

- [laughs] Yeah, yeah, good luck with that.

Just give me a little time.

We'll go talk to the trolls,

get them to stop stealing your food.

Just promise me you won't eat my Uncle Budrick.

All right, agreed.

No!

You have 24 hours,

but only because a bird this size

needs a full day to marinate.

- We have to go talk to these trolls.

Max, is that wise?

According to the literature I've read,

trolls are enormous temperamental creatures.

It will be fine.

Remember, we have the prophecy on our side.

[sighs]

[suspenseful music]

? ?

- Think we're in the right spot?

- Uh... - Hmm.

- [footsteps banging] - Ah!

- Ah! - Ah!

[dramatic music]

? ?

[troll growling]

[troll roaring]

Welcome, travelers, welcome.

Do you seek passage over our bridge?

[all groaning]

Hmm?

No, actually.

We are here about all the food

you've been stealing.

Stealing, right.

All right, here we go with the stealing.

It wasn't stealing, OK?

Those folks couldn't pay the toll,

so they forfeited their food.

I think you would agree that fair is fair, right?

Fair is fair.

[laughs]

- Well, I don't know if it is fair.

There's a bunch of hungry people back at the tavern.

Ever think about sharing?

Easy, Max.

Let's not pick a fight with

giant, potentially dangerous creatures.

- Listen. Graugnar and I don't share.

No, we have a more, um-what do you call,

a transactional way of doing things.

So if you want the food, which it sounds like you do,

you're gonna have to pay the toll.

And by toll, I mean...

[chuckles] Answer a riddle.

[cackling]

- So you're saying if we answer a riddle,

we can get the food back?

- Uh-huh. [both cackling]

Then we'll answer a riddle.

- Uh, shouldn't we, you know, find out what happens

if we can't solve the riddle?

I'm assuming it's something bad.

Relax, Simon. It'll be fine.

- Oh, you mean because we have a prophecy on our side?

Yes, that.

And we also have a Kevyn.

Yes, please.

It's not every day that one gets

to match wits with a troll.

[both cackling]

Mm, let's see.

Ooh, I know.

I'm gonna go with a classic.

[clearing throat] OK.

What goes on four legs in the morning,

two legs at noon, and three legs in the evening?

Yeah, good one, Jack.

They'll never get that one.

- The mention of morning, noon, and night

is undoubtedly a reference to time

and, if I may extrapolate, age.

Therefore, I believe the correct response

is a human,

crawling on all fours as a baby,

two legs as an adult,

and three legs when old age

makes use of a walking stick necessary.

Is that correct?

Aw, he get it.

What did I tell you?

What we do, Jack?

This no happen before.

- Yeah. I uh-

well, I guess we ask him another riddle.

13.

Oh, no way!

A candle.

Come on.

- A spider. - How did they-

A Labradoodle?

Stop with that stuff.

The doctor was a woman.

Oh, you're cheating.

I know you're cheating.

Aw, no fair.

- Well played, gentlemen. - Mm-hmm.

- Yeah, it's been a real hoot, guys, but-

- Whoa, whoa, whoa, not so fast.

[all gasping]

- Uh-huh, you not go nowhere.

Hold on, we had a deal!

[all screaming]

This is hopeless!

No one's ever heard of her.

And the bookshelves here are full of nothing

but romance novels

and predictable murder mysteries!

[bleats]

No!

I thought the barber did it.

I mean, he clearly planted those fingerprints.

Oh, never mind!

The point is, I need to find more books

to consult, and the only-

wait a minute.

[soft music playing on radio]

[door creaking]

Oh!

Oop, wrong door.

[whirring]

[bleats]

- ? I'm so lonely without you ?

[soft music]

? ?

[whirring]

Oh, come to think of it, I should have

suggested we use this portal to get

Uncle Budrick out of the dungeon.

Oh, well.

Now, let me see.

- [whimpering] Oh, oh, no, oh!

There, there, my dear Henrietta.

I know you miss Edmund, as do I.

I've sent out a search party,

and I'll let you know the moment I hear.

I won't let my right hand man be gone for long!

[laughing] See what I did there?

Enough!

Ah!

Hmm, while we're here

talking to your beady-eyed feet warmers,

Mumblin could be-

[sniffing] Wait.

What's that smell?

Oh, probably the socks.

My last jester had unusually sweaty feet.

- It's not the socks, you moron.

It's...[gasps] Mumblin!

[whooshing]

Don't worry, Henrietta.

I don't think your eyes are beady at all.

Ah, Henrietta!

Guards!

[humming]

- Did it say anything about being boiled alive

in that prophecy of yours?

Huh? Huh, Max?

Look at me when I'm huh-ing you.

Huh?

OK, OK. You're right.

I may have gotten a little carried away

with the whole prophecy thing.

- Yeah. - Indubitably.

A little bit.

[scraping]

OK.

I might be able to cut through these ropes.

But it's gonna take a little time.

- Time, unfortunately, is something

we don't possess in abundance.

[troll growling]

Ah! I believe this

is the book I need.

[whirring]

[whooshing]

Ahh!

[scraping]

- This wasn't supposed to happen.

I'm supposed to slay a dragon, find King Conrad,

and save Byjovia.

Not become stew!

And Uncle Budrick might be a nugget by now!

- What was I thinking? - [gasps]

It's OK, Max.

Focus on those ropes.

And I'll distract the trolls.

[troll mumbling]

So...Graugnar, was it?

What happened to your tooth there?

Tragic flossing accident?

- Uh-oh!

Well, a witch stole my tooth.

Scary lady.

A witch?

How fascinating.

What would a witch want with a troll's tooth?

[dramatic music]

[flames crackling]

[crowd chanting] Goose! Goose! Goose! Goose!

Wait!

[thudding] [honking]

I mean, please, don't cook me.

I beg you.

I'm, uh-I'm not ready!

I'm not tender enough.

[honking] What about the marinade?

Sorry, but it's time.

[honking]

What am I thinking?

My magic seasoning!

? ?

- How are those ropes coming, Max?

Almost there.

Psst.

Millie, what's that?

- I thought it might help get my magic back.

But it's not working.

- That's because it's not actually magic.

It's salt.

Forget about the seasoning

and distract the trolls!

How about another riddle?

Good thinking, Simon.

[clears throat] Excuse me, gentlemen.

Mm?

- Before you feast upon our boiled flesh,

we thought you might enjoy one final riddle.

Uh, what? Uh, no.

I mean, we never had food offer

to tell us a riddle before.

But uh, what do you think, Graugnar?

Riddle!

- What do you get when you mix carrots, broccoli, ginger,

onions, garlic, coconut, curry powder,

and chef's magic seasoning?

Uh, eh...I don't know.

- Yeah, we are not familiar with this one as such.

- [scraping] - [grunting] Yes.

Here's an idea.

Well, since you have all the ingredients

just conveniently there, why don't you just

mix everything together?

I don't know. See what happens.

- Well, it's a little unorthodox.

But hey, we got to know the answer, so...

[all grunting]

? ?

Hey, what was that last thing again?

Here you go.

Magic seasoning?

Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait.

You should be tied up.

- [grunts] Maybe this'll teach you

not to play with your food.

I know, I know, but I had to say it.

[grunting]

? ?

[trolls growling]

Food fight!

[all grunting]

? ?

[trolls growling]

? ?

[yelling]

? ?

[trolls roaring]

[page rustling]

Oh, drat!

I grabbed the wrong one!

[whirring]

[books clattering]

Ahh!

[grunts] Whoa!

[laughing]

- Would it make any difference at all if I told you

there's a prophecy about us?

[troll growling]

Guess not.

[screaming]

I'll eat you first.

Wait.

You still didn't answer our riddle.

What do you get when you mix those ingredients?

Vegetarian curry!

Ah, oh!

- Whoa! - Mm.

[laughs]

What are you doing?

Get them!

[slurping]

Jack, try curry.

Curry good!

- Curry is-

[slurping, gulping]

Wow, that is delicious!

Why have we been eating humans all this time,

when we could have been eating this stuff?

[slurping]

Yeah. Ahh.

[slurping]

I guess that sign was right.

Try the curry, and you'll never want to eat anything else.

Egad!

Perhaps this is the prophecy at work.

Forget the prophecy.

This was all Simon.

If not for him, our gooses would be-[gasps]

Uncle Budrick!

- [flames crackling] - [honking]

[thudding]

[crashing]

No.

Stop!

[all gasping]

[trolls growling]

[all gasping]

I told you we'd get your stolen food.

Well, mission accomplished!

[all gasping]

[cheering]

- Then the witch pulled out my tooth, she did.

Eh, wrong.

The answer is 13.

Oh, it's so yummy!

[belches]

Oh!

- I'm never eating again... until tomorrow.

Obviously.

Millie, look!

- [gasps] Oh, my magic, it's back!

- Perhaps the problem was simply

that you were hungry, Millie.

More curry, anyone?

Yes, please.

Don't mind if I do.

[triumphant music]

? ?

So what'll it be?

One last riddle?

Oh, come on.

We let friends cross for free!

[laughs] Uh, just this once.

Aw, come here.

Graugnar shake. [chuckles]

Oh!

[laughs]

- All in all, that turned out pretty good.

- Yeah, but couldn't hurt to be a little more careful.

Just because there's a prophecy

doesn't mean this is gonna be easy.

And too many people are counting on us.

[tense music]

? ?

Ugh.

Ahh!

Where is that bearded buffoon?

Mm.

What have we here?

[laughing]

? ?

- ? Of all I wish for ?

? Of all I've seen ?

? There's one thing I want returned to me ?

? I said doo-doo-doo-doo-doo, I'm lonely without you ?

? Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh ?

? I'm so lonely without you ?

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