Original subtitles

- ? A farmer did venture to market one day ?

? Hoping to sell his prize pig ?

? Its tail, it was curly ?

? Its nose, it was pink ?

? And its talent ? [gasps]

[goblet clatters]

Bleh. No!

I've tired of your terrible singing.

If that's all you're good for

then I'll just have to have you executed.

Now that would be entertaining.

- Oh, but Your Majesty, there are so many ways

I can entertain you!

- Oh, but there are so many ways I can have you executed.

- I could make balloon animals. - I could have you beheaded.

Interpretive dancing?

- Uh, public hanging! - Sword swallowing!

- Bury you alive. - Fire breathing.

- Disemboweling! - Impersonations.

- Drowning. - Beat-boxing.

- Impaling. both: Slam poetry.

- Poisoning. - Making origami.

- Crushed by a boar. - A one-man kick line.

- Launched out of a cannon. - Enough!

You are going to keep me entertained

with something other than singing, and that is final!

- Fine, but if I can't keep you entertained,

you'll just have to execute me.

- [sighs] Well, fine. If I have to.

- [gasps] Wait, my bad-

[upbeat music]

- ? Lotta people tellin' me what I should be ?

? But I wanna make my own destiny ?

- [growls] - ? Got a feelin' ?

? That it might be time for me ?

- ? To find my own way ? - [grunts]

- ? 'Cause I can feel it in my heart ?

? It takes a lot to be brave, but just a little to start ?

? Let's go take a million chances ?

? Let's go change our circumstances ?

? I'm gonna write my own story ?

? And the hero is me ?

[gentle medieval music]

? ?

Midknights, I present King Gastley's castle.

- - [bleats] - An imposing edifice that,

in all of its history, has never once been breached.

Until now.

Rescuing Uncle Budrick isn't going to be easy.

The bad news is, this place is a fortress.

Not only is it manned by armed guards,

we've got the moat, a drawbridge,

and the main gate to deal with.

Waiting for the good news.

We have a wizard.

Yeah! With Mumblin by our side,

there's nothing we can't do.

We could just walk right up to the castle,

and once we're in position,

Mumblin will freeze time!

Then, with a single flick of his wand,

he'll smash open the gate,

fly us across the moat.

and then we'll find Uncle Budrick,

rescue him, and blow the place sky-high!

Ka-boom!

Magic explosion!

Oh, I'm melting! No, I'm melt-

- Uhh. - What?

- Wow. - Absolutely gruesome.

- Just painting word pictures. - Yeah.

Well, as much as I'd like to blow up Gastley's castle,

I think our first step should be reconnaissance.

We need to know everything there is to know

about the castle, the rotation of the guards,

everyone who goes in and out,

how the drawbridge and gate work.

There's a system of levers

that control the drawbridge and the gate.

But the entire contraption is inside the castle and thus,

beyond our reach.

- We need to know if the castle has a weakness,

a time when it's least defended.

Simon?

- The fewest guards are on duty at midnight,

two in the parapet and one on the ground, here.

Then that's when we strike.

But we'll need to distract the guards,

get them to abandon their posts.

Leave that to me.

I'm cooking up something special.

Yum! Rat jerky, my favorite!

- Ah-ah, I believe these ones are just for the guards?

Exactly.

I'll make sure the night-shift guards

have a belly full of this.

Just don't expect their bellies to stay full...

[stomach gurgles] If you catch my drift.

all: Oh!

- Wait, no, I-I don't get it.

We're gonna make them sick.

- Ohh! [laughs]

- Okay, so Alice will take care of the guards.

Mumblin, can you get us inside the castle?

- [snoring] Who ate my special pudding?

Mumblin! Hello?

We're planning a jailbreak here!

- Baa! - [blubbers] What now?

- Do you think you can use magic

to lower the bridge and open the gate?

- Well, I can probably manage that.

- And what about finding Uncle Budrick

once we're inside?

- Good point. We know he's being kept

in the dungeon, but we don't exactly know

how to get there.

Don't suppose you have a map of the inside

of the castle too?

Just this one, I'm afraid.

- Hey! - [gasps] Wait a minute!

Mumblin, you were the Royal Magician!

You must know your way around the castle, right?

- I was, yes, but for some reason,

my memory is fuzzier than a bunny's backside.

It's okay, Mumblin.

We just need to find someone else

who's been in the dungeon,

someone who isn't, you know, dead.

[gasps] I know just the chap!

- And at the bottom of the stairwell-

- exactly-round the corner... - Mm-hmm.

- You'll find the entrance to the dungeon.

- All right, so something like this?

That's it!

Say, what exactly do you kids need a map

to the dungeon for anyhow?

- Oh, we're gonna break in and rescue my Uncle Budrick.

Thanks to you,

getting to the dungeon will be easy.

- Getting to the dungeon isn't the hard part.

It's getting your hands on the key that should worry you.

There's only one key to the dungeon,

and it's held at all times by the Royal Executioner.

[dark rock music]

[gulps]

? ?

Keep that thing sharpened.

I think you're going to need it again rather soon.

- There's one more problem, that thing in the moat.

[wails]

[screaming]

I fervently hope it doesn't try to eat me again.

- That's it, Kevyn!

The creature is hungry, so all we have to do is feed it.

Great idea.

But feed it what?

- Baa! - Huh.

- [gasps] - Hmm.

- Huh. - [whines]

Oh, right. The sheep.

Yeah, I was totally looking at the sheep too.

- Think about it. We use the sheep as bait.

And when the moat monster goes for it, we can sneak on by.

- Hold on! We cannot sacrifice Doris!

friends: Doris?

I may have named her.

[bleats sweetly]

I'm sorry, Simon,

but Uncle Budrick doesn't have much time

and this might be the only chance we've got.

I have to get him out of there.

- Wait a minute. You're all okay with this?

Feeding an innocent sheep to a-a monster?

Circle of life, my friend!

- We'll do whatever we have to. [grunts]

- Okay, gang, then it's settled.

We strike at midnight.

What? You're telling me you've never had lamb chops?

[bleats sadly]

[light jovial music]

- [grunts] Ah?

- Aha! - Hmm.

- Ha ha! - Seen it before!

- Ta-da. [chuckles]

Sock puppets?

Sock puppets!

[all gulp]

I love sock puppets.

[sighs]

- Nanny would do sock puppets for me

when I was but a little prince in royal diapers.

Oh, Nanny! Whatever happened to her?

Oh, right, I had her beheaded.

Well, what are you waiting for?

[soft orchestral music]

Henrietta was a simple sock

from a simple town.

[high-pitched voice] I'm just a simple sock

from a simple town.

[normal voice] Edmund was a noble prince.

[low voice] I'm a princely sort,

too good for a town like this.

But wait, who is that beautiful milkmaid I see?

Hmm.

- [high-pitched voice] Who is that devilishly handsome

yet troubled prince?

I can fix him!

[both crunching]

Oi, Barley.

You ever wonder what those little lights are

up in the sky?

[chewing] Hmm.

- No, Bean. - Yeah, me neither.

[burps]

Oh, well, excuse you.

[chewing]

- Okay, any idea on the timeline

for Operation Make-'Em-Sick?

- [stomach rumbling] - Should be any minute now.

[groans, farts]

[gasps] Wait, look!

[vomiting violently]

[farts]

[both gag]

[vomiting]

[gags, spits]

- Oh, no, don't, 'cause if you go,

then I'm gonna-

[vomits]

[groaning]

What is happen-

- Your mom is seriously awesome.

[whispers] I know.

Psst!

[suspenseful music]

? ?

- Is the bait in place? - Um. Sort of.

Simon, what is that?

- I'm sorry, Max, I just couldn't

let something happen to Doris.

- And you thought that bloodthirsty tentacle

would be hungry for cauliflower?

Not just cauliflower, okay.

It's a vegetable medley.

I added potatoes, asparagus, broccoli, brussels sprouts,

- a little bit of- - Shh! It's working.

[rumbling]

[roars]

? ?

[sniffing]

- Ah, knew I should have added more salt.

Seasoning, Simon. Seasonings.

Everyone get down.

[upbeat rock music]

- Phew, feeling much better now.

Huh? How did that get there?

- [roars] - Oh, no!

[vomiting]

- Well, look at that. It worked.

Let's move, Midknights.

[all panting]

Ready, Mumblin? You're up.

- Oh. I've got this. I've got this.

Wing of bat and hair of witch,

pull the lever to lower this bridge!

- "Witch" and "bridge" make for a rather clunky rhyme.

Yah! Ha ha!

- Keep going, Mumblin! You got this!

[gasping]

[groans]

Whew. There.

Oh, right, the gate.

[adventurous music]

[groans]

This castle we must infiltrate,

now pull the lever that opens the gate.

[grunting]

[squeals, laughs]

- Aww. Pff. - Hurry, Mumblin!

The guards could come back any second.

[guards vomiting]

- Barley, if I don't make it... [farts]

I just want you to know, I- [stomach gurgles]

[moans]

- What did you say- - [retches furiously]

[straining]

Come on, Mumblin!

We didn't pluck you out of retirement

for you to get punked by a hunk of metal.

- [shivers] Anyone have a weird tingly feeling?

Mm. How curious.

Those gargoyles aren't on this map.

What gargoyles?

- [roars] - Aah!

[all panting]

[dramatic music]

? ?

[all scream]

[bellows]

- Oh, my. - [gasps]

- Enchanted gargoyles. This-this is dark magic.

Dark magic?

- Warthog's tooth and dragon's flame,

send them back from whence they came!

Uh-oh.

- Dad! - Uh, nobody panic.

[gargoyles growling]

? ?

[Midknights whimpering]

Okay, maybe we panic.

- [screeches] - Aah!

[screams]

Aah, aah, aah! Aah!

Boop.

Aah!

? ?

Aah!

- [high-pitched voice] Oh, Edmund.

Yes, I will marry you.

[low voice] Wonderful, but there's something

I haven't told you, Henrietta.

I'm not really a prince.

I'm merely a lookalike

who traded places with the true prince.

- Ugh. So obvious. Saw it coming.

- [high-pitched voice] Edmund, I know.

I've always known because I'm not really a lowly milkmaid-

- Aah! - [gasps] Max?

Max? Who's Max?

I thought Henrietta was in love with Edmund!

This third act is falling apart.

- [high-pitched voice] My love, there's something else.

- Whoa! - What was that?

Ooh, I'm a ghost.

I've been a ghost the whole time.

[gasps] Whoa! Plot twist!

Aah!

[grunting]

[dramatic music]

Aah!

I think I got the hang of this.

[roars]

? ?

[Midknights scream]

Are they gone?

Yep. Stone dead.

- [screeches] - Aah!

Millie!

[all grunting]

- all: No! - [screaming]

Millie!

[yelping]

- [normal voice] And they lived happily ever after.

Boo!

Happily ever after?

What kind of soppy drivel is this?

Yuckity, yuck, yuck, yuck!

It was a love story.

Preposterous!

That was a story of betrayal and deceit

and the mid-life heartbreak of settling

for less than you deserve.

Why would you spoil it with a happy ending?

- Oh, well, if it's heartbreak you're after,

then just wait for the sequel!

Spoiler alert: everyone dies.

Ugh, forget sequels.

They're artistically bankrupt cash grabs

and always pale in comparison to the original.

Executioner, off with his head and all that.

Aah!

[suspenseful music]

- No. No, no, no, not right now, you idiot.

It's late. If I don't get eight hours of beauty sleep,

my mustache droops.

Do you want me to have a droopy mustache?

Of course not, sire.

- Then take him to his cell, and we'll off him at sunrise.

Oh, I do love an execution before breakfast.

[laughing] See you in the morning.

Spoiler alert: you'll be the one missing a head.

Millie.

- I daresay no one could survive a fall

from that height.

- She was only here because of me.

[clanking] [all gasp]

More gargoyles?

- No it's-

- Millie! - Hey.

You're okay.

- Thank goodness. - Mm!

- Now don't you ever do that again.

How ever did you survive?

- I landed on a big bale of hay.

I'm just lucky like that. Oh.

[sweet uplifting music]

Guys, look.

We're inside the castle.

It didn't go exactly as planned, but hey, we did it.

- Teamwork. Aw, yeah! - [gasps]

[chain clinking]

Egad!

- It's okay, Kevyn, we're already in.

Baa!

[chewing]

all: Doris?

[roars]

[bleats]

- Oh, no! She must have followed me.

We can't leave her.

But what about Uncle Budrick?

We'll save 'em both.

[upbeat music]

? ?

[grunts]

Aah!

[grunting]

Oh! Oh, no.

Aah!

- We've gotta stop it! Did you try these two?

Of course I tried those two.

[growls]

[bleats worriedly]

- [growls] - I got it.

[wincing] Huh?

[wails]

[whimpers]

[sighs]

- It stopped. - Well, unstop it, Kevyn!

I'm trying. I'm trying!

? ?

[exclaims]

[all moaning]

- Aah! That's the wrong direction!

I hate this bridge.

No! No!

Whoa!

Simon! Doris! Where's Max?

? ?

[screeches]

Aah!

Whew.

Max, thank you.

[bleats happily]

- Aww, Doris. - [laughs]

[peaceful music]

? ?

- [gasps] - [pants]

- Nolan? Mumblin? What happened?

- Where are the kids? They need help!

Fruit, man! Hand me a pear,

a kumquat, anything!

Show me the Midknights.

- Oh, my. - [gasps]

I don't believe it.

As I live and breathe.

- They made it. - Yes, they're in the castle,

which means they're on their own now.

[tense music]

? ?

Oh, quickly, Bean,

we gotta get back to our posts

before Gastley knows we've been gone.

- Ugh. - Yeah, righto, righto.

Ugh. Oh, do you know what?

Apparently he's gonna execute that fool come sunrise, heh.

- Maybe they mean some other fool?

- You mean the new one that can't sing?

Yeah, that's the one.

Can't be mistaken for any other fool.

[gasps]

Hang on, Uncle Budrick.

We're almost there.

[upbeat music]

[heavy rock music]

? ?

Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0