Original subtitles

Oh my god, that was the best girl's day.

Oh my god, yeah, thanks for giving me that.

Oh my god.

You've got to be kidding me.

Boys, what?

What is this? What are you doing?

We're just hanging out.

It's a big deal.

This is embarrassing.

It's embarrassing, exactly.

What are you doing? I don't even know.

It's not that bad.

It's only like...

Oh, cool.

A panther button.

Oh, yeah.

Okay.

One, two.

Okay, this needs to stop. Okay, this is mother intervention.

Alex, come on. Are we seriously a garbage dump now? We're thirsty.

What are you doing?

Can we get a lecture right now?

Yeah, you're going to get a lecture, young man. This is out to hell. This is

time. What?

You need an intervention.

Another intervention.

Yeah.

Intervention? What's the big deal?

You know the quarantine has been hard on you, boy.

Yeah, you look like a ragged Muppet.

It could be worse.

No,

I think you've reached the bottom of the barrel, dear.

I'm sorry.

I mean, both of you. No, we should forget the TV. At least I have a shirt

mean, come on.

I've been waiting for this to come out for a week.

Oh, have you been sitting in the same outfit for the entire week as well?

I think I watched these once.

And what, you're going to watch these girls on TV when you could be

with real girls in real life?

Yeah, it's called social media. But not looking like this.

Really? I mean, women aren't, like, attracted to this?

No. Honey, you have to listen to your mother.

I think that we might have a good solution.

We can go get laid, right? All the time. I have to throw up in my mouth.

This can't continue on.

Are you thinking what I'm thinking?

Yeah.

Makeover!

Makeovers? Boys.

We don't need makeovers. No. Yeah.

I look great.

Honey, we want you boys to be able to go out there and Facebook.

world. And dates.

You need a date. You need a girlfriend, sweetie.

She's right there. Jerk off to her all the time.

Yeah, that doesn't count.

You need a girlfriend.

Listen, you need one too, honey.

This is about both of you.

Alright.

Let's go.

Come on. Up and at them.

No, really.

Come on.

If you're going to act like a baby, then you're going to get treated like one.

Honey, you've got to look at yourself.

I mean, come on. I look good.

No, babe, okay.

All you need is just a mother's touch, you know?

Obviously, you haven't figured out how to take care of yourself, so I still

to do it.

I'm looking for you. Honey, okay. Also, I pulled some clothes for you, all

right? So why don't we take this off? Take this off.

Okay, now let's see.

No, too bad with your skin.

Candy cane.

Boring, washed you out.

Now this could be just nice.

Brings out your eyes a little bit.

Geez, all right, fine.

The girls are going to love you when I'm through with you.

See, it's better already. It's night and day.

All right, now we've got to get these pants off, too.

I pulled some of your pants, too.

Yes, honey, if you're not going to learn how to take care of yourself, then you

need me to take care of you.

But, I mean...

once I bought for you. I remember buying them for you. They were so good. All

right, fine.

I'm going to try one for you.

Yes.

Oh, jeez.

So embarrassing.

Maybe even tuck in your shirt, babe.

Really? Tuck in my shirt?

Yes. Trying something new.

Jeez.

Look at you.

Trying something new.

Oh, you could get a girl in this outfit. Honey, this is amazing. This is it.

Okay, okay.

but the posture's important.

Honey, you could get a great girl like this.

Are you serious?

Honestly, I might even be a little jealous.

Really? You think so?

Yeah, that's the truth.

Oh, wow.

Geez, well, thanks, Mom.

All right, let's go find you a girl.

This is what I got.

Don't be so fussy.

I would have got a haircut if they were open.

Excuse me, excuse me, dear. All you have to do is just kind of, you know, be

presentable. I mean, that's what really matters.

What? Putting a little bit of effort into it.

Okay, fine.

Right?

They have such a knife here.

I don't know why you don't just do something with it. I'm just sure they

some face of theirs.

I kind of like the way it looks when I get out of the shower. I just don't

it. Yeah, like a shiny carpet. Okay.

So... Do we really have to do this?

Okay, all right. I'm sorry. Thank you.

Let me just work my magic on you.

No, I need something that pops.

I like that shirt.

It's exactly why I'm not picking it.

Just hit me.

Just trust me, okay?

Just trust me.

These are cute, but... I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't know.

Okay. All right.

Just... Just hurt me.

But... But... Really?

But no.

No. No.

I can't believe that was even a choice.

I think this might be it.

It's clothing. It's exciting.

Of course it is. Do you want to be single the rest of your life?

This is it.

This is so it.

I'm just kind of getting used to the idea of just being single for the rest

my life.

And no grandchildren.

That's great.

Of course you do.

Of course I want a grandkid. And then we'll roll up the sleeves because that

much cooler.

Oh my God, I'm loving it.

I'm talking about, oh, not the pants.

We've had to get rid of the pants.

No!

Absolutely not. Um, these.

Sorry, I don't want to wear anything.

Usually if mother doesn't like it, you get that from me.

What? It's true.

Do you know what the cool kids do these days?

Maybe we can go shopping and get lunch later?

Oh my god, no.

Thank you, I guess. I'm so excited.

You're probably going to get an amazing job. Oh, yeah, sure.

Oh, my God.

You're coming down, right? Is that them?

They're coming.

They look so good.

Oh, my God.

Oh, they're so perfect.

You know what we should do, though? Jessica.

That's what I was going to say. Exactly.

Blonde. I mean, I heard she's a total fucking slut. I think so.

You could probably DP her. You think she's... Hell yeah. Dude, we could

do it. I have the same fucking time. You know what, boys? Your mother and I are

going to go talk. We'll be right back. All right, you have fun with that. We're

just going to be here. Yeah, fucking Jessica.

I said she's fucking straight up a bitch.

Okay. Hell yeah, man.

Could you believe the way they were talking?

It's like their confidence went down. Straight to the head. And I don't need

this one.

God. And after all of our hard work.

We can't let them out like that. We can't. I mean, they look too hot.

No, they could get a disease.

With Jessica?

Oh, my God.

What are we going to do?

I mean, they look... There's got to be a way that we can keep our hot sons from

going out.

I mean, they look really good.

We did do a really phenomenal job.

Such a good job. You did such a good job. I'm trying.

You look really amazing.

I mean, there's like something we could do. We have them, right?

Yeah. Do you have an idea?

I think I've got it. Really?

Oh, my God.

What are you thinking?

Wait, so...

with your boys?

Yeah.

So, your mother and I had a little plan.

We think it's best to keep things in.

You get over saying.

No. Well, it's safer to be at home these days, you know, with all

the... There's so much out there. Yes, all the crazies running around.

And we figured instead of going out that maybe we should just stay home.

And we wanted to show you.

Okay.

Okay. All right. Yeah. Oh, yeah.

You did not tell me your boy had this.

Neither did you. You've been holding out.

What can I say? It runs in the family.

I think maybe we should stop.

I think it's time.

I guess.

Maybe get a little more time.

What do you think of our little sand?

I mean, I'm liking it so far.

Maybe not.

Jessica.