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1
00:00:02,840 --> 00:00:04,080
Here's the thing, Papadakis.
2
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If I squint at you from a distance,
I can almost see a soldier.
3
00:00:09,740 --> 00:00:12,380
But what I'm wondering right now is,
what are you dressed like?
4
00:00:14,340 --> 00:00:16,380
Do you be more specific, sir?
5
00:00:16,620 --> 00:00:17,620
A little hike.
6
00:00:18,240 --> 00:00:18,860
Like Shrek.
7
00:00:19,120 --> 00:00:21,540
Now, I bought this costume at a Halloween
store.
8
00:00:21,700 --> 00:00:23,820
This is Angry Green Swamp Poker.
9
00:00:24,140 --> 00:00:29,100
Colonel, the troops have chosen to watch
Shrek for the 17th straight movie night.
10
00:00:29,220 --> 00:00:31,400
I am dressed as an Angry Green Swamp
Poker.
11
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Now, if someone were to dress as shrek,
maybe they would do so because the film is
12
00:00:34,941 --> 00:00:37,900
a cultural touchstone for an entire
generation.
13
00:00:39,170 --> 00:00:42,200
Get your feet off my desk.
14
00:00:42,760 --> 00:00:46,640
Officially, as of now, Major, Shrek is
banned on this base.
15
00:00:46,860 --> 00:00:47,460
Confirm, sir.
16
00:00:47,660 --> 00:00:48,020
Fine.
17
00:00:48,520 --> 00:00:49,720
Guess we can watch Shrek, too.
18
00:00:49,800 --> 00:00:50,600
Shrek, too is banned.
19
00:00:50,680 --> 00:00:51,620
Shrek, three, banned.
20
00:00:51,700 --> 00:00:52,020
What?
21
00:00:52,160 --> 00:00:53,100
Is there a Shrek, four?
22
00:00:53,140 --> 00:00:53,780
Because it's banned.
23
00:00:53,980 --> 00:00:54,540
Forever after.
24
00:00:54,820 --> 00:00:55,080
What?
25
00:00:55,360 --> 00:00:56,040
Shrek, four.
26
00:00:56,360 --> 00:00:57,660
It's called Shrek forever after.
27
00:00:57,920 --> 00:00:58,920
Well, not on this base.
28
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Hey!
29
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Come on now, this Constitution even
allowed that.
30
00:01:02,180 --> 00:01:02,620
Okay.
31
00:01:02,621 --> 00:01:03,360
Bye-bye.
32
00:01:03,520 --> 00:01:04,520
Just missed.
33
00:01:04,620 --> 00:01:05,620
Great.
34
00:01:06,160 --> 00:01:07,176
Ready for the next meeting?
35
00:01:07,200 --> 00:01:07,860
Yeah, sure.
36
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What is it?
37
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Especially this getting as dressed as a
giant donkey.
38
00:01:33,120 --> 00:01:34,500
Why are you trying to impress her?
39
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She's just a Canadian NATO general.
40
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General Martin is coming here on my
invitation.
41
00:01:38,730 --> 00:01:39,520
You understand that, right?
42
00:01:39,521 --> 00:01:43,280
And that her last three men to use are all
Lieutenant generals now.
43
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Okay, relax her.
44
00:01:44,840 --> 00:01:47,140
What do you have in that lovely folder?
45
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It's insane.
46
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Those soldiers put in their resume.
47
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Do you have your kindergarten art work or
something in there?
48
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It doesn't go back that far.
49
00:01:54,000 --> 00:01:55,280
It starts at like middle school.
50
00:01:55,610 --> 00:01:58,520
Dad, I would appreciate it if you're on
your best behavior.
51
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You know?
52
00:01:59,040 --> 00:02:01,980
No, like, Canada jokes or anything stupid.
53
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Have I made a Canada joke?
54
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They are an important strategic partner.
55
00:02:05,600 --> 00:02:05,600
Okay.
56
00:02:06,160 --> 00:02:07,160
Here she comes.
57
00:02:07,380 --> 00:02:08,536
What's she going to teach you?
58
00:02:08,560 --> 00:02:09,680
How to say sorry?
59
00:02:09,940 --> 00:02:13,220
Just said... Well, maybe she wants to do
shoot a Santa Claus if you're lucky.
60
00:02:13,540 --> 00:02:14,540
Uh-oh!
61
00:02:15,340 --> 00:02:18,120
General Martin... Well, hello,
NATO.
62
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You must be the famous Quins.
63
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The rumors are true.
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00:02:21,740 --> 00:02:22,580
I could smell your base.
65
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This is cheese, a half a click out.
66
00:02:24,580 --> 00:02:26,060
General Martin, it is an honor.
67
00:02:26,460 --> 00:02:30,660
Canada is, of course, one of our... One of
our most important strategic partners.
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We are big fans of Canada.
69
00:02:33,720 --> 00:02:34,040
Welcome.
70
00:02:34,300 --> 00:02:35,920
Can I get you coffee or tea?
71
00:02:36,340 --> 00:02:37,580
Caffeine's for the unmotivated.
72
00:02:37,820 --> 00:02:38,820
I'd like a tour.
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00:02:44,340 --> 00:02:46,951
This is our urban training
site with state-of-the-art
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00:02:46,952 --> 00:02:50,060
equipment to condition
our troops for any situation.
75
00:02:50,600 --> 00:02:53,840
Mock buildings for forced entry exercises,
a rock wall.
76
00:02:53,841 --> 00:02:55,440
for terrain skill development.
77
00:02:55,820 --> 00:02:59,560
And this is our picnic table for people to
have lunch.
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00:02:59,975 --> 00:03:01,080
What is that, a sandwich?
79
00:03:02,420 --> 00:03:02,800
Yum.
80
00:03:03,260 --> 00:03:06,360
This whole place here was a useless
bowling alley into life.
81
00:03:06,400 --> 00:03:06,980
Turned it around.
82
00:03:07,380 --> 00:03:08,900
This was your influence?
83
00:03:09,120 --> 00:03:10,120
Oh, yeah.
84
00:03:10,260 --> 00:03:11,260
Thank you, General.
85
00:03:11,750 --> 00:03:13,901
General, would you care
to see the most advanced
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00:03:13,902 --> 00:03:15,840
armed forces laundry
operation in all of Europe?
87
00:03:15,920 --> 00:03:18,840
I'm sure it's not advanced enough to deal
with my dirty laundry.
88
00:03:21,260 --> 00:03:23,880
Your reputation for risky humor precedes
you, ma'am.
89
00:03:24,200 --> 00:03:26,940
Well, there's not a lot of finishing
schools in Saskatoon.
90
00:03:28,460 --> 00:03:32,460
You will be proud to know, Colonel, that we
use your training methods on NATO troops.
91
00:03:32,500 --> 00:03:33,500
Oh, really?
92
00:03:33,720 --> 00:03:36,320
I'm very, very honored to hear that,
General.
93
00:03:36,640 --> 00:03:38,660
I would like to hear more about that.
94
00:03:39,100 --> 00:03:41,004
And I also hear you
have something to do with
95
00:03:41,005 --> 00:03:42,860
the NATO professional
development program.
96
00:03:42,861 --> 00:03:43,861
It's a fine program.
97
00:03:43,900 --> 00:03:46,760
Not as fine as this facility, though,
I have to say.
98
00:03:46,960 --> 00:03:50,940
We could use an upgrade like this at the
NATO shape basin mons.
99
00:03:51,280 --> 00:03:54,520
We mostly have glowing maps and conference
rooms.
100
00:03:55,040 --> 00:03:58,180
Look, it's all fun and war games,
but how can you train soldiers if you've
101
00:03:58,181 --> 00:04:00,480
forgotten how it feels to hold a rifle in
your hand?
102
00:04:00,840 --> 00:04:01,580
Yes, General.
103
00:04:01,680 --> 00:04:02,680
And you know what?
104
00:04:03,300 --> 00:04:04,860
I still have my Glock.
105
00:04:05,380 --> 00:04:08,540
I love a Glock, you know?
106
00:04:08,780 --> 00:04:09,840
Oh, that's a big one.
107
00:04:10,600 --> 00:04:11,600
I have one too.
108
00:04:12,400 --> 00:04:17,980
General, you know, I would love to come to
your base and help assess the situation.
109
00:04:18,520 --> 00:04:21,580
And perhaps continue our conversation
about that.
110
00:04:21,581 --> 00:04:23,781
I have to admit that the bureau letter got
my attention.
111
00:04:24,065 --> 00:04:25,440
And it brought me to this base.
112
00:04:26,040 --> 00:04:27,540
So I would love to host you at mine.
113
00:04:27,920 --> 00:04:28,920
Awesome.
114
00:04:29,400 --> 00:04:31,400
And Colonel Quinn as well.
115
00:04:31,760 --> 00:04:34,660
I would love to see those conference
rooms.
116
00:04:34,661 --> 00:04:36,341
Oh, they're great for one-on-one meetings.
117
00:04:36,420 --> 00:04:37,680
I'd love to have a one-on-one.
118
00:04:37,720 --> 00:04:38,720
Mm-hmm, me too.
119
00:04:38,940 --> 00:04:39,940
Can I see your Kelsey?
120
00:04:40,420 --> 00:04:41,420
Yeah.
121
00:04:41,940 --> 00:04:42,040
Yeah.
122
00:04:42,520 --> 00:04:42,720
Okay.
123
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I just heard.
124
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Is it true?
125
00:04:45,520 --> 00:04:47,060
He was a really banished wreck.
126
00:04:47,220 --> 00:04:48,440
Yeah, the Colonel banned the movie.
127
00:04:48,441 --> 00:04:48,480
Yeah.
128
00:04:49,080 --> 00:04:51,420
Okay, yeah, but it's not like a real
order, right?
129
00:04:51,560 --> 00:04:52,920
It's like one of his silly orders.
130
00:04:52,960 --> 00:04:54,800
Like when he told us that
we can say bless you after
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00:04:54,801 --> 00:04:56,981
sneezing anymore because
it was superstitious nonsense.
132
00:04:57,280 --> 00:04:58,400
Orders are orders, no Shrek.
133
00:04:59,670 --> 00:05:03,100
You are too old to
understand how much this
134
00:05:03,101 --> 00:05:06,220
movie means to our
younger enlisted soldiers.
135
00:05:06,480 --> 00:05:08,220
It's just a cartoon about a fat gridge.
136
00:05:08,600 --> 00:05:08,980
I assume.
137
00:05:09,040 --> 00:05:10,080
I've only seen the poster.
138
00:05:10,160 --> 00:05:11,280
You don't get it!
139
00:05:11,440 --> 00:05:15,980
As kids, these soldiers saw Shrek as this
down-to-earth outsider.
140
00:05:16,540 --> 00:05:17,620
It means something to them.
141
00:05:17,621 --> 00:05:18,340
You know what I mean?
142
00:05:18,540 --> 00:05:19,540
Something to me.
143
00:05:19,780 --> 00:05:21,020
Following the chain of command.
144
00:05:21,440 --> 00:05:22,440
Let's go!
145
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Don't say it.
146
00:05:29,850 --> 00:05:30,250
Hey.
147
00:05:30,430 --> 00:05:30,790
Hey.
148
00:05:31,150 --> 00:05:34,970
So can you argue these talking points that
I wrote up for our trip to NATO?
149
00:05:35,890 --> 00:05:36,890
Where are you going?
150
00:05:37,110 --> 00:05:39,175
I was going to pop over
and see General Martin
151
00:05:39,176 --> 00:05:41,210
and make sure she
knows where the defect is.
152
00:05:41,310 --> 00:05:43,330
Mm-hmm, in that blazer?
153
00:05:43,510 --> 00:05:44,510
This is my lucky blazer.
154
00:05:44,710 --> 00:05:46,410
It's your lucky blazer.
155
00:05:46,630 --> 00:05:47,330
It's not my fault.
156
00:05:47,510 --> 00:05:49,270
Down in five or five in this is just so
nice.
157
00:05:49,630 --> 00:05:50,030
Ah!
158
00:05:50,390 --> 00:05:51,430
Don't sleep with General Martin.
159
00:05:51,431 --> 00:05:51,810
Please.
160
00:05:51,811 --> 00:05:52,150
Why?
161
00:05:52,330 --> 00:05:53,986
I really don't want things to get messy,
okay?
162
00:05:54,010 --> 00:05:54,730
The program's so important to me.
163
00:05:54,731 --> 00:05:55,731
Why would he get messy?
164
00:05:55,830 --> 00:05:57,430
This is what you do.
165
00:05:57,490 --> 00:06:00,942
You'll sleep with a woman and
then come up with some excuse
166
00:06:00,943 --> 00:06:03,431
like a fake phone call that
you have to go save America.
167
00:06:03,850 --> 00:06:05,530
And then they're left there alone and
hurt.
168
00:06:05,630 --> 00:06:06,930
It's a pattern that you have.
169
00:06:06,950 --> 00:06:07,730
It's not a pattern.
170
00:06:07,850 --> 00:06:09,070
It's a lifestyle choice.
171
00:06:09,230 --> 00:06:12,225
I fought in two wars and
defend this country so that
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00:06:12,226 --> 00:06:14,606
all Americans have the right
to do whatever they want.
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00:06:14,630 --> 00:06:16,109
Including wherever jacket
they want to say hello
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00:06:16,110 --> 00:06:18,491
to somebody and walk
them over to the defect.
175
00:06:19,850 --> 00:06:21,110
All right, all right.
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00:06:21,850 --> 00:06:23,730
I won't make my move until you make your
move.
177
00:06:23,830 --> 00:06:25,970
Yes, thank you for your sacrifice.
178
00:06:26,170 --> 00:06:27,170
It is a sacrifice.
179
00:06:35,480 --> 00:06:35,960
Hey!
180
00:06:36,280 --> 00:06:37,280
What's up?
181
00:06:37,460 --> 00:06:39,460
I forgot where the dining hall is.
182
00:06:39,500 --> 00:06:42,000
Oh, it's just across the lawn there a few
a minute.
183
00:06:42,520 --> 00:06:43,000
Sounds far.
184
00:06:43,420 --> 00:06:44,900
Did you use a drink to tide me over?
185
00:06:45,860 --> 00:06:45,860
Oh.
186
00:06:46,760 --> 00:06:47,760
Hey.
187
00:06:49,820 --> 00:06:50,820
Nice place.
188
00:06:52,080 --> 00:06:52,740
It's your place.
189
00:06:52,741 --> 00:06:53,420
I know.
190
00:06:53,520 --> 00:06:55,280
Sometimes I just forget and I re-admire
it.
191
00:06:56,365 --> 00:06:57,780
That's General Patton's gun.
192
00:06:57,940 --> 00:06:58,940
Oh!
193
00:06:59,540 --> 00:07:00,100
Where is it?
194
00:07:00,320 --> 00:07:01,320
Yeah.
195
00:07:04,540 --> 00:07:05,980
I've been sitting all day.
196
00:07:06,100 --> 00:07:08,660
I think it's going to be like a standing
evening.
197
00:07:08,680 --> 00:07:08,840
Oh.
198
00:07:08,841 --> 00:07:13,820
Because I've just been sitting all day
pretty tight.
199
00:07:14,580 --> 00:07:15,920
What's going on here?
200
00:07:16,120 --> 00:07:16,380
What do you mean?
201
00:07:16,381 --> 00:07:19,220
I mean, it's clear we have a natural
attraction to each other, right?
202
00:07:19,221 --> 00:07:19,360
Yeah.
203
00:07:19,460 --> 00:07:20,760
I mean, why retreat from it?
204
00:07:20,980 --> 00:07:21,980
It's perfect.
205
00:07:22,030 --> 00:07:23,760
We're not in the same chain of command.
206
00:07:23,761 --> 00:07:25,260
We're not even in the same army.
207
00:07:25,460 --> 00:07:25,860
I know.
208
00:07:26,080 --> 00:07:28,360
The thing is my daughter.
209
00:07:29,700 --> 00:07:31,683
She thinks that my
personal life gets messy
210
00:07:31,684 --> 00:07:33,580
and she doesn't want
me to get messy with you.
211
00:07:33,581 --> 00:07:35,000
Oh, I'm counting on it.
212
00:07:35,680 --> 00:07:35,760
Oh.
213
00:07:36,000 --> 00:07:36,060
Whoops.
214
00:07:36,200 --> 00:07:37,580
Let's get over here.
215
00:07:37,980 --> 00:07:39,300
Peel off my sex blazer.
216
00:07:39,800 --> 00:07:42,600
And we'll see if you have the fortitude to
invade Canada.
217
00:07:44,380 --> 00:07:45,380
Wow.
218
00:07:47,240 --> 00:07:50,260
Now I know some of you are upset about
recent programming changes.
219
00:07:50,540 --> 00:07:52,640
I told you not to play with Shrek.
220
00:07:52,740 --> 00:07:57,820
Okay, since Shrek is your favorite childhood
movie, I found the perfect substitute.
221
00:07:58,230 --> 00:07:59,230
What is that?
222
00:07:59,380 --> 00:08:00,380
A giant vape?
223
00:08:00,740 --> 00:08:01,140
It's not a vape.
224
00:08:01,380 --> 00:08:02,700
This is a VHS.
225
00:08:03,100 --> 00:08:08,540
And it contains a recording of my favorite
childhood movie, the never-ending story.
226
00:08:09,260 --> 00:08:10,260
Enjoy.
227
00:08:12,160 --> 00:08:12,720
Give it a shot.
228
00:08:12,721 --> 00:08:13,841
Just give it a chance, okay?
229
00:08:17,990 --> 00:08:18,990
They hate this.
230
00:08:19,360 --> 00:08:21,400
Wait, our horse dies in this.
231
00:08:21,620 --> 00:08:22,340
We want Shrek.
232
00:08:22,600 --> 00:08:23,600
Hey, dude.
233
00:08:23,700 --> 00:08:24,700
Be cool.
234
00:08:25,000 --> 00:08:25,080
Dude?
235
00:08:25,840 --> 00:08:26,480
It's major.
236
00:08:26,780 --> 00:08:28,080
Sorry, dude.
237
00:08:28,760 --> 00:08:28,920
Major.
238
00:08:29,620 --> 00:08:31,100
Listen, why don't you take a walk?
239
00:08:31,760 --> 00:08:33,160
Let us watch the stars born.
240
00:08:34,980 --> 00:08:36,860
Okay, this is just a DVD of Shrek.
241
00:08:37,360 --> 00:08:38,360
Prove it.
242
00:08:38,460 --> 00:08:39,160
Put it in.
243
00:08:39,200 --> 00:08:39,580
You know what?
244
00:08:40,100 --> 00:08:40,260
No.
245
00:08:40,500 --> 00:08:40,620
No.
246
00:08:40,621 --> 00:08:41,960
We're not watching Shrek.
247
00:08:42,000 --> 00:08:43,020
That is an order.
248
00:08:43,540 --> 00:08:43,940
Great.
249
00:08:44,540 --> 00:08:46,140
Enjoy your flying dog.
250
00:08:46,800 --> 00:08:46,820
Creep.
251
00:08:47,540 --> 00:08:48,540
I'm leaving.
252
00:08:50,320 --> 00:08:52,500
Okay, he's a luck dragon.
253
00:08:52,800 --> 00:08:54,520
And he's really cute and charming.
254
00:08:54,660 --> 00:08:56,480
It was ahead of its time.
255
00:08:57,445 --> 00:08:58,420
Oh, my God.
256
00:08:58,421 --> 00:09:00,280
What happened to Canadians being polite?
257
00:09:00,500 --> 00:09:02,080
It's a high altitude training perk.
258
00:09:02,081 --> 00:09:03,460
I need very little oxygen.
259
00:09:03,540 --> 00:09:04,900
I was getting a little worried.
260
00:09:05,260 --> 00:09:06,260
You know?
261
00:09:06,340 --> 00:09:06,560
What?
262
00:09:06,740 --> 00:09:07,740
Let's have scar.
263
00:09:07,980 --> 00:09:09,200
Oh, ISIS terrorist.
264
00:09:09,405 --> 00:09:10,456
He was inside of a bowling slide.
265
00:09:10,480 --> 00:09:12,920
Smash throw window grabbed and pulled him
right at.
266
00:09:13,560 --> 00:09:14,560
Oh, that's cool.
267
00:09:15,120 --> 00:09:16,120
Oh, man.
268
00:09:17,290 --> 00:09:19,480
Oh, my God.
269
00:09:19,520 --> 00:09:20,520
What's that from?
270
00:09:20,680 --> 00:09:21,240
Bar fight.
271
00:09:21,440 --> 00:09:22,440
Who's jaw?
272
00:09:22,640 --> 00:09:23,020
I won.
273
00:09:23,360 --> 00:09:26,280
It's so much bigger than mine.
274
00:09:26,660 --> 00:09:27,660
I know.
275
00:09:29,180 --> 00:09:30,180
Cool.
276
00:09:33,340 --> 00:09:34,340
Oh, boy.
277
00:09:35,140 --> 00:09:35,860
I... Man.
278
00:09:36,040 --> 00:09:37,040
Ah.
279
00:09:37,400 --> 00:09:39,440
Looks like I got a saved Canada.
280
00:09:39,820 --> 00:09:40,820
What?
281
00:09:41,210 --> 00:09:42,620
I can't believe you said that.
282
00:09:42,860 --> 00:09:43,140
What?
283
00:09:43,340 --> 00:09:44,080
That's my move.
284
00:09:44,081 --> 00:09:45,521
That's what I was just about to say.
285
00:09:46,340 --> 00:09:47,100
I swear to God.
286
00:09:47,120 --> 00:09:48,780
Well, you said you didn't want things to
get messy.
287
00:09:48,800 --> 00:09:50,020
No, this is perfect.
288
00:09:50,021 --> 00:09:53,780
This means it could just be a mutual
transmission of fluids.
289
00:09:54,300 --> 00:09:54,820
Mm.
290
00:09:54,980 --> 00:09:56,420
And, you know, respect, obviously.
291
00:09:56,640 --> 00:09:57,960
Hopefully not too much respect.
292
00:10:05,020 --> 00:10:06,780
Good morning, mags.
293
00:10:07,040 --> 00:10:08,380
Oh, my God.
294
00:10:09,040 --> 00:10:10,740
But you slept with General Martin.
295
00:10:10,920 --> 00:10:11,420
No, I didn't.
296
00:10:11,500 --> 00:10:12,280
What are you talking about?
297
00:10:12,281 --> 00:10:12,660
What?
298
00:10:12,661 --> 00:10:14,360
You never say good morning, mags.
299
00:10:14,620 --> 00:10:17,314
You potentially destroyed my
chances after NATO professional
300
00:10:17,364 --> 00:10:21,100
development program after you
said, I will make things messy.
301
00:10:21,380 --> 00:10:21,960
It's not messy.
302
00:10:21,961 --> 00:10:22,860
It's so cool.
303
00:10:22,960 --> 00:10:24,360
She's the female version of me.
304
00:10:24,400 --> 00:10:26,408
She actually even used
my move on me after we,
305
00:10:26,409 --> 00:10:29,860
you know, we're done
having, you know, relations.
306
00:10:30,650 --> 00:10:33,176
She picked up her phone and she was like,
oh, I got to go save Canada.
307
00:10:33,200 --> 00:10:34,120
That was like, really?
308
00:10:34,160 --> 00:10:34,640
From what?
309
00:10:34,740 --> 00:10:35,280
The Yeti's?
310
00:10:35,300 --> 00:10:38,140
Let's say that she doesn't hate your gut.
311
00:10:38,141 --> 00:10:38,620
She doesn't.
312
00:10:38,621 --> 00:10:40,440
She loves many parts of me.
313
00:10:40,600 --> 00:10:41,020
Okay.
314
00:10:41,220 --> 00:10:42,220
Stop.
315
00:10:42,600 --> 00:10:43,220
New plan.
316
00:10:43,500 --> 00:10:45,160
You are just going to give her this.
317
00:10:45,420 --> 00:10:49,020
You're going to talk me up and you are
going to help secure me this mentorship.
318
00:10:49,021 --> 00:10:50,021
Okay.
319
00:10:52,140 --> 00:10:53,140
This is so heavy.
320
00:10:53,400 --> 00:10:54,300
It's seven pounds.
321
00:10:54,420 --> 00:10:56,180
Like, I'm begging you to just edit.
322
00:10:56,181 --> 00:10:57,181
Go!
323
00:10:57,380 --> 00:10:58,860
So I can go wash my brain.
324
00:11:02,840 --> 00:11:04,940
Next we're coming to my next words.
325
00:11:06,700 --> 00:11:09,840
I just couldn't turn down the chance to
have sex on a war table.
326
00:11:10,920 --> 00:11:13,560
Next time, instead of doing it on a
Canada, can we do it on Russia?
327
00:11:13,561 --> 00:11:16,640
Because I feel like if we do it long
enough, poop might actually find out.
328
00:11:16,800 --> 00:11:17,800
Oh, he'll find out.
329
00:11:18,280 --> 00:11:18,760
All right.
330
00:11:19,020 --> 00:11:20,160
Well, I got to go.
331
00:11:20,300 --> 00:11:20,920
And don't worry.
332
00:11:21,040 --> 00:11:22,700
I'm not saving Canada this time.
333
00:11:22,780 --> 00:11:24,500
If anything, I'm putting her in more
danger.
334
00:11:25,480 --> 00:11:26,480
Hey.
335
00:11:26,750 --> 00:11:28,226
I was thinking, you
know, like you and my
336
00:11:28,227 --> 00:11:29,840
daughter should get to
know each other better.
337
00:11:30,200 --> 00:11:30,980
She's a great girl.
338
00:11:30,981 --> 00:11:31,760
She's really interesting.
339
00:11:31,800 --> 00:11:32,560
She's wicked smart.
340
00:11:32,680 --> 00:11:33,960
She's an impressive officer.
341
00:11:33,961 --> 00:11:35,000
You should be very proud.
342
00:11:35,080 --> 00:11:35,760
I'm so proud.
343
00:11:35,761 --> 00:11:37,521
And I actually told her that once under
oath.
344
00:11:38,160 --> 00:11:44,520
So I was just thinking that we could grab
dinner and get to know each other.
345
00:11:44,521 --> 00:11:45,660
There's a tiny place nearby.
346
00:11:45,840 --> 00:11:47,280
They do a family style thing.
347
00:11:47,460 --> 00:11:47,920
It's great.
348
00:11:48,300 --> 00:11:50,520
I thought maybe I don't do family style.
349
00:11:50,920 --> 00:11:52,280
But they can do individual plates.
350
00:11:52,340 --> 00:11:53,480
It's no big thing.
351
00:11:54,060 --> 00:11:55,060
Anyway.
352
00:11:55,260 --> 00:11:57,380
She gave me this, which is a folder.
353
00:11:57,560 --> 00:11:59,820
Something up her career and her ideas
about the future.
354
00:11:59,900 --> 00:12:01,000
Oh, my God.
355
00:12:01,100 --> 00:12:01,480
I know.
356
00:12:01,660 --> 00:12:02,620
What the hell is that?
357
00:12:02,640 --> 00:12:03,800
She has an oddly shaped head.
358
00:12:03,840 --> 00:12:06,356
And it took us a while to figure out what
hair cut worked for her.
359
00:12:06,380 --> 00:12:08,780
And that was not one of the ones that
worked.
360
00:12:09,300 --> 00:12:10,880
But anyways, so it's all in here.
361
00:12:11,240 --> 00:12:12,660
You can just get to...
362
00:12:13,680 --> 00:12:13,840
What are you going?
363
00:12:14,065 --> 00:12:15,840
Uh, call my office.
364
00:12:15,960 --> 00:12:17,546
Okay, well, we're still on for tomorrow,
right?
365
00:12:17,570 --> 00:12:19,040
I'm sure it'll work out.
366
00:12:25,560 --> 00:12:26,560
And, huh?
367
00:12:28,720 --> 00:12:33,340
Why are soldiers in the defect eating raw
onions like an apple?
368
00:12:33,580 --> 00:12:35,380
Because it strikes favored food,
sir.
369
00:12:35,880 --> 00:12:38,640
Also, representation of these many layers.
370
00:12:38,740 --> 00:12:41,080
I am following orders.
371
00:12:41,220 --> 00:12:42,920
And so should you.
372
00:12:43,020 --> 00:12:45,640
You know who else was just following
orders?
373
00:12:47,040 --> 00:12:48,380
Lord Farquaad's Knights.
374
00:12:49,360 --> 00:12:50,900
Lord Farquaad is an emissary.
375
00:12:50,901 --> 00:12:52,860
No, I got it from context clues.
376
00:12:52,940 --> 00:12:53,720
Thank you so much.
377
00:12:53,820 --> 00:12:54,980
This is ending now.
378
00:12:54,981 --> 00:12:56,160
And no more playing.
379
00:12:56,161 --> 00:12:57,201
I'll start by smash mouth.
380
00:12:57,320 --> 00:12:57,880
Terrible song.
381
00:12:57,980 --> 00:12:58,980
Hey, now.
382
00:12:59,360 --> 00:13:00,680
It's a class sick.
383
00:13:04,280 --> 00:13:05,280
What?
384
00:13:09,240 --> 00:13:10,320
Reading our sheets.
385
00:13:11,140 --> 00:13:12,780
You just been assigned to the train duty.
386
00:13:13,760 --> 00:13:15,320
Oh, you can silence me.
387
00:13:16,840 --> 00:13:19,560
A good lock silencing the insurrection.
388
00:13:34,740 --> 00:13:35,740
Yummy?
389
00:13:36,700 --> 00:13:37,700
Whoa.
390
00:13:38,200 --> 00:13:39,500
You've been waiting a long time.
391
00:13:39,920 --> 00:13:40,920
Oh, she is a general.
392
00:13:41,160 --> 00:13:42,560
And everything went okay yesterday.
393
00:13:42,680 --> 00:13:43,160
Great.
394
00:13:43,400 --> 00:13:44,400
You gave her my folder.
395
00:13:44,660 --> 00:13:47,120
Yes, I showed her the folder.
396
00:13:49,230 --> 00:13:50,376
And you showed her the folder.
397
00:13:50,400 --> 00:13:51,400
Yeah.
398
00:13:51,800 --> 00:13:52,920
Did she read the folder?
399
00:13:52,921 --> 00:13:53,921
No, she didn't have to.
400
00:13:54,100 --> 00:13:54,800
That's the thing.
401
00:13:54,801 --> 00:13:57,200
She's obviously like, I said, she's so
intimate.
402
00:13:58,460 --> 00:14:01,220
General Martin can't give the tour after
all.
403
00:14:01,221 --> 00:14:02,941
She's been pulled into an important
meeting.
404
00:14:03,500 --> 00:14:04,500
Oh, okay.
405
00:14:05,000 --> 00:14:05,500
Of course.
406
00:14:05,820 --> 00:14:06,820
Thank you, ma'am.
407
00:14:07,000 --> 00:14:08,080
Got it.
408
00:14:09,260 --> 00:14:10,520
You said that she was very into you.
409
00:14:10,540 --> 00:14:11,240
She isn't to me.
410
00:14:11,241 --> 00:14:13,040
Oh, why is she blowing you off?
411
00:14:13,340 --> 00:14:13,720
I'm blowing.
412
00:14:13,980 --> 00:14:15,380
Women don't blow me off, honey.
413
00:14:15,900 --> 00:14:18,860
Okay, well, you get pulled into an
important last minute meeting all the time.
414
00:14:18,980 --> 00:14:21,220
And when you're doing that, what does that
mean?
415
00:14:22,300 --> 00:14:23,300
It's blowing them off.
416
00:14:23,760 --> 00:14:24,760
Come on.
417
00:14:25,180 --> 00:14:26,180
Come on.
418
00:14:26,240 --> 00:14:26,660
That's not me.
419
00:14:26,920 --> 00:14:27,920
We can come down.
420
00:14:28,820 --> 00:14:29,820
Yes.
421
00:14:29,980 --> 00:14:30,220
Sure.
422
00:14:30,400 --> 00:14:31,960
How's going out here?
423
00:14:33,980 --> 00:14:34,260
What?
424
00:14:34,950 --> 00:14:35,880
Oh, my God.
425
00:14:35,900 --> 00:14:37,000
This is your big meeting.
426
00:14:37,180 --> 00:14:38,780
You're regretting your hockey stick.
427
00:14:39,360 --> 00:14:39,760
Unbelievable.
428
00:14:39,880 --> 00:14:41,380
It's called a Canadian breakup.
429
00:14:41,540 --> 00:14:42,840
It's as direct as we can be.
430
00:14:42,860 --> 00:14:43,980
You're breaking up with me.
431
00:14:44,200 --> 00:14:45,200
That's a laugh.
432
00:14:46,090 --> 00:14:47,140
This means war.
433
00:14:47,320 --> 00:14:48,140
Look, I'm sorry.
434
00:14:48,320 --> 00:14:49,320
Oh, you're sorry.
435
00:14:49,360 --> 00:14:50,536
Oh, you're going to be very sorry.
436
00:14:50,560 --> 00:14:50,980
You know what?
437
00:14:51,030 --> 00:14:53,098
I'd like to challenge you to
one of these little war games that
438
00:14:53,099 --> 00:14:55,220
you supposedly run here in
this toothless little dollhouse.
439
00:14:55,240 --> 00:14:56,140
He's very passionate.
440
00:14:56,260 --> 00:14:59,121
Perhaps that is not the
best idea considering Canada
441
00:14:59,122 --> 00:15:02,160
is one of our most
important strategic partners.
442
00:15:02,325 --> 00:15:03,720
It's important strategic partners.
443
00:15:03,880 --> 00:15:06,100
There are a bunch of syrup stock and
puck-making losers.
444
00:15:06,520 --> 00:15:06,840
No.
445
00:15:06,940 --> 00:15:10,020
Yeah, I haven't won the Stanley Cup with a
Canadian team since 1993.
446
00:15:10,900 --> 00:15:13,800
How dare you bring up my country's
greatest shame?
447
00:15:14,860 --> 00:15:15,560
War it is.
448
00:15:15,580 --> 00:15:19,460
You pick any country on the map and I will
use that country to crush NATO.
449
00:15:20,320 --> 00:15:20,600
Bhutan.
450
00:15:21,240 --> 00:15:22,060
Bhutan it is.
451
00:15:22,061 --> 00:15:22,700
I love Bhutan.
452
00:15:22,980 --> 00:15:23,980
Yeah, here we go.
453
00:15:24,120 --> 00:15:24,560
Bhutan.
454
00:15:24,820 --> 00:15:26,340
I'm Captain Bhutan.
455
00:15:26,480 --> 00:15:29,980
Yeah, Bhutan is a pacifist country with a
million Buddhists.
456
00:15:30,480 --> 00:15:33,360
I'm going to war with a bunch of
Buddhists.
457
00:15:35,200 --> 00:15:36,660
Okay, I'm going to double that bet.
458
00:15:36,780 --> 00:15:38,700
Bhutan wins what you will because I'm
running it.
459
00:15:38,940 --> 00:15:41,180
My daughter gets the professional
mentorship thing.
460
00:15:41,220 --> 00:15:41,960
How about that?
461
00:15:42,100 --> 00:15:45,580
Okay, well you have a lot of confidence or
no faith in your daughter.
462
00:15:45,800 --> 00:15:46,800
Let's find out which one.
463
00:15:46,860 --> 00:15:49,200
I'm very confident that's which one it is,
okay?
464
00:15:49,240 --> 00:15:49,880
Yeah, okay.
465
00:15:50,060 --> 00:15:51,060
Let's go.
466
00:15:51,175 --> 00:15:52,740
You think you're cool?
467
00:15:54,490 --> 00:15:55,120
It's pretty hot.
468
00:15:55,160 --> 00:15:56,300
Dad, circuit.
469
00:15:56,500 --> 00:15:57,500
All right.
470
00:16:00,520 --> 00:16:04,860
This war table is connected to an AI
program that immediately assesses any
471
00:16:04,861 --> 00:16:07,520
geopolitical consequences by military
actions.
472
00:16:07,860 --> 00:16:11,920
I remember when the war was still done by
human hands, pushing big red buttons.
473
00:16:12,680 --> 00:16:13,920
Okay, let's begin.
474
00:16:14,520 --> 00:16:15,520
Hmm.
475
00:16:15,720 --> 00:16:19,080
My entire professional future is now tied
to this war game.
476
00:16:19,780 --> 00:16:20,800
So, you're sure you can beat her?
477
00:16:20,820 --> 00:16:21,700
100% sure.
478
00:16:21,720 --> 00:16:21,980
Great.
479
00:16:22,060 --> 00:16:22,860
No question in my mind.
480
00:16:22,880 --> 00:16:23,280
All right.
481
00:16:23,540 --> 00:16:26,860
Just show me where a butan is in.
482
00:16:26,920 --> 00:16:27,920
Your Mexico.
483
00:16:28,480 --> 00:16:29,720
Bhutan is here.
484
00:16:30,000 --> 00:16:31,000
Only China, India border.
485
00:16:32,500 --> 00:16:32,880
Okay.
486
00:16:33,440 --> 00:16:34,620
You are ready to lock in.
487
00:16:34,760 --> 00:16:35,420
Oh, I'm locked in.
488
00:16:35,600 --> 00:16:35,760
Okay.
489
00:16:35,761 --> 00:16:38,580
You think I got banned from three trivia
nights without walking in?
490
00:16:45,850 --> 00:16:46,970
What is happening here?
491
00:16:47,150 --> 00:16:48,850
Okay, what is wrong with you all?
492
00:16:48,930 --> 00:16:49,630
Get back to work.
493
00:16:49,631 --> 00:16:50,270
Clean this up.
494
00:16:50,450 --> 00:16:50,930
That's an order.
495
00:16:50,931 --> 00:16:52,330
It's a total revolt, sir.
496
00:16:52,370 --> 00:16:55,970
I cannot believe that Papadakis and Sparta
were building over a stupid cartoon.
497
00:16:57,830 --> 00:16:58,950
This is a mutiny.
498
00:16:59,450 --> 00:17:01,610
It's a very stupid mutiny.
499
00:17:03,000 --> 00:17:08,350
We hear at the end of China, Bhutan is
alliance respond with a drone squadron in
500
00:17:08,351 --> 00:17:12,770
the mountainous region and artillery at
the northern border.
501
00:17:13,070 --> 00:17:14,070
Now we're at a stalemate.
502
00:17:14,270 --> 00:17:17,740
Not exactly because while
you were digging trenches, I was
503
00:17:17,741 --> 00:17:21,490
training the Bhutanese Liberation
Front in the Himalayan caves.
504
00:17:22,090 --> 00:17:25,050
You're leading an army of Buddhist
gorillas.
505
00:17:25,150 --> 00:17:25,650
Yeah.
506
00:17:25,950 --> 00:17:26,950
We call it karma.
507
00:17:27,450 --> 00:17:32,130
And, you know, the VLF advantage is that
we only live in the moment that and the
508
00:17:32,131 --> 00:17:36,230
nuclear weapons that we have smuggled into
half a dozen eastern European cities.
509
00:17:36,610 --> 00:17:38,090
That's a highly unusual move.
510
00:17:38,210 --> 00:17:41,070
Yeah, but you can only push Bhutan so far.
511
00:17:41,710 --> 00:17:41,790
Right?
512
00:17:42,270 --> 00:17:44,090
Get ready to be reincarnated.
513
00:17:44,730 --> 00:17:46,310
Can I talk to you privately for a moment?
514
00:17:46,311 --> 00:17:47,311
Mm-hmm.
515
00:17:47,885 --> 00:17:50,610
I can't believe I'm saying this, but I think
this is a little aggressive, don't you?
516
00:17:50,810 --> 00:17:51,250
No.
517
00:17:51,570 --> 00:17:53,370
No, I would rather
trigger nuclear winter than
518
00:17:53,371 --> 00:17:56,051
lose my mentorship
because I played it too safe.
519
00:17:56,490 --> 00:17:56,910
Doesn't he?
520
00:17:56,930 --> 00:17:57,930
Okay.
521
00:17:58,710 --> 00:17:59,710
Whoo!
522
00:17:59,890 --> 00:18:00,890
Your turn.
523
00:18:03,710 --> 00:18:06,070
Papadakis, this is out of control.
524
00:18:06,190 --> 00:18:07,410
You got to call it off.
525
00:18:07,850 --> 00:18:10,870
You know, Major, I was never asking for a
slack.
526
00:18:11,650 --> 00:18:13,110
I was only asking for Shrek.
527
00:18:13,570 --> 00:18:14,890
I wish it was that easy.
528
00:18:14,891 --> 00:18:15,891
It is that easy.
529
00:18:16,110 --> 00:18:19,570
The base has Shrek on, like, DVD, Blu-ray,
audiobook, even that weird big vape.
530
00:18:19,610 --> 00:18:20,370
It's called a VHS.
531
00:18:20,550 --> 00:18:22,570
And it is the Colonel's order.
532
00:18:23,030 --> 00:18:24,030
He's in here.
533
00:18:24,550 --> 00:18:26,030
It's your order now.
534
00:18:27,970 --> 00:18:28,370
Can't wait.
535
00:18:28,410 --> 00:18:29,810
You volunteered for the dream duty?
536
00:18:29,870 --> 00:18:31,570
I'm finally serving a cause.
537
00:18:31,650 --> 00:18:32,970
I can believe it.
538
00:18:33,370 --> 00:18:34,650
He told us to act like soldiers.
539
00:18:35,110 --> 00:18:36,890
And the question now is...
540
00:18:37,640 --> 00:18:38,950
kind of soldier are you.
541
00:18:40,850 --> 00:18:41,890
Is that a line from Shrek?
542
00:18:42,530 --> 00:18:43,690
Only one way to find out.
543
00:18:45,450 --> 00:18:49,870
NATO forces invade the B-L-F, the
Bulgarian terrorist cell.
544
00:18:50,090 --> 00:18:51,770
That is too bad.
545
00:18:52,620 --> 00:18:54,750
Because we were never there.
546
00:18:55,730 --> 00:18:56,910
We were in North Macedonia.
547
00:18:57,390 --> 00:18:58,530
Oh, all time.
548
00:18:58,770 --> 00:18:59,770
North Macedonia.
549
00:19:00,270 --> 00:19:03,730
North Macedonia is one of NATO's newest
members, but they agreed to house us an
550
00:19:03,731 --> 00:19:08,130
exchange for a nuclear weapon,
which is the reward that we offer for any
551
00:19:08,131 --> 00:19:12,350
country, willing to join the
Indo-China-Bootenese Alliance.
552
00:19:13,810 --> 00:19:14,870
Oh, my God.
553
00:19:15,090 --> 00:19:16,465
And then the Eastern
block will join you,
554
00:19:16,466 --> 00:19:19,271
and the NATO Alliance
has permanently broken.
555
00:19:20,550 --> 00:19:21,250
Just kidding.
556
00:19:21,490 --> 00:19:22,490
Just kidding.
557
00:19:22,930 --> 00:19:23,930
Wow.
558
00:19:24,170 --> 00:19:25,310
Crazy impressive, right?
559
00:19:25,930 --> 00:19:26,550
See, I told you.
560
00:19:26,710 --> 00:19:29,286
That's why you should have had that family
style dinner with three of us.
561
00:19:29,310 --> 00:19:29,550
Sorry.
562
00:19:29,650 --> 00:19:32,670
Did you invite a woman that you barely
know to a family style dinner?
563
00:19:33,330 --> 00:19:33,670
Yeah.
564
00:19:33,790 --> 00:19:35,551
I mean... Well, that's insane.
565
00:19:35,830 --> 00:19:36,830
I'm insane.
566
00:19:37,030 --> 00:19:38,106
You hear the food that needs to spend a
lot.
567
00:19:38,130 --> 00:19:39,790
I mean, I wonder she blew us off.
568
00:19:39,940 --> 00:19:40,950
That's why she blew me off.
569
00:19:40,951 --> 00:19:41,810
Oh, yes it is.
570
00:19:41,910 --> 00:19:43,010
No, it freaked me out.
571
00:19:43,170 --> 00:19:46,250
I thought you were going to propose going
on a Disney cruise as a family next.
572
00:19:47,590 --> 00:19:48,750
I guess I could.
573
00:19:48,770 --> 00:19:50,050
John 9-1-1.
574
00:19:50,230 --> 00:19:50,430
Hmm.
575
00:19:51,150 --> 00:19:51,390
No.
576
00:19:51,770 --> 00:19:56,290
Look, he is not invested in family at all,
but he did raise a daughter who knows her
577
00:19:56,291 --> 00:19:59,590
way around a war game, which I think I
just want.
578
00:20:00,510 --> 00:20:02,010
So about that.
579
00:20:02,011 --> 00:20:04,230
Captain, I can't in good conscience.
580
00:20:04,630 --> 00:20:07,830
Let a maniac like you out on the street
without my guidance.
581
00:20:09,050 --> 00:20:10,450
Therefore, the mentorship is yours.
582
00:20:11,280 --> 00:20:12,470
Thank you, ma'am.
583
00:20:12,510 --> 00:20:13,510
Thank you so much.
584
00:20:13,610 --> 00:20:13,790
So much.
585
00:20:14,500 --> 00:20:18,170
So, let's say Shah over road my Shrek band
on the bass, and he says we have to show
586
00:20:18,270 --> 00:20:20,470
the film tonight because it has
generational importance.
587
00:20:20,650 --> 00:20:21,850
Shrek, I love Shrek.
588
00:20:22,270 --> 00:20:23,070
Oh, like my ears.
589
00:20:23,210 --> 00:20:23,870
He's our guy.
590
00:20:23,910 --> 00:20:25,130
He's our Canada guy.
591
00:20:25,150 --> 00:20:26,270
Can I come and see it?
592
00:20:26,310 --> 00:20:26,790
I haven't seen it.
593
00:20:26,830 --> 00:20:29,590
Sure, I'll just tell Shah to save us a
couple seats.
594
00:20:29,610 --> 00:20:30,610
I'm so excited.
595
00:20:30,650 --> 00:20:30,710
Yeah.
596
00:20:30,711 --> 00:20:31,711
Oh, that's great.
597
00:20:33,990 --> 00:20:34,290
Wow.
598
00:20:34,410 --> 00:20:35,210
You're going to watch Shrek?
599
00:20:35,430 --> 00:20:37,170
Yeah, if she's watching, I'll watch it.
600
00:20:37,350 --> 00:20:37,530
Okay.
601
00:20:38,150 --> 00:20:39,390
It's... it's... what is he?
602
00:20:39,640 --> 00:20:41,110
He's giant fat frog, right?
603
00:20:41,450 --> 00:20:42,450
Mm-hmm.
604
00:20:46,190 --> 00:20:48,290
You made the right choice, Shah.
605
00:20:48,390 --> 00:20:49,970
I'm glad we didn't have to kill you.
606
00:20:50,630 --> 00:20:53,017
You know, I always wanted
to date somebody that
607
00:20:53,117 --> 00:20:55,610
was basically the female
version of me, you know.
608
00:20:55,710 --> 00:20:56,210
Mm-hmm.
609
00:20:56,211 --> 00:20:58,010
Hey, can I touch your callous again?
610
00:20:58,011 --> 00:20:59,210
Oh, yeah, good.
611
00:21:01,430 --> 00:21:02,470
Mm-hmm.
612
00:21:07,170 --> 00:21:08,690
Last and final offer, Colonel.
613
00:21:08,990 --> 00:21:10,630
I'll agree to one shared holiday.
614
00:21:10,740 --> 00:21:12,030
I'll give you boxing day.
615
00:21:12,470 --> 00:21:16,590
Any 24-hour rendezvous can turn into a
48-hour rendezvous, but at that point,
616
00:21:16,690 --> 00:21:21,350
the clock resets, and it's a mutually
agreed upon 72-hour cooling-off period.
617
00:21:21,490 --> 00:21:21,990
Fine.
618
00:21:22,010 --> 00:21:22,470
Okay.
619
00:21:22,670 --> 00:21:27,330
Terms of endearment, I will accept special
someone, main squeeze, gal pal.
620
00:21:27,550 --> 00:21:28,790
I'm never going to say gal pal.
621
00:21:30,590 --> 00:21:31,590
All right.
622
00:21:31,730 --> 00:21:32,730
Lock the doors.
623
00:21:32,810 --> 00:21:34,610
Let's test the bounds of this agreement.
624
00:21:36,010 --> 00:21:37,750
It's going so well.
625
00:21:38,690 --> 00:21:40,110
Thank you so much.
42793
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