All language subtitles for Banged Up Abroad - Season 14 Episode 10 A Belly Full of Coke

Right, come on.

Right, where do you want me to go?

I wanted to be this big, bad gangster.

I was chasing that buzz and I was
chasing that money.

I felt uncomfortable.

I felt unstoppable.

But I was stupid.

I ruined my life.

I ruined everything.

But I brought with nothing.

I had no focus, no drive, no ambitions.

I had no goals, I had no dreams.

I just hated everyone and everything.

I just pushed them away.

I was 24.

The only thing that was there was my
daughter.

I had a six -year -old called Ellie
Louise from a previous relationship.

But because I was in and out of jail so
many times, my mum didn't want to let

her see me.

Yeah, I wasn't the best dad.

I was always getting myself into
trouble.

I used to rob cars, sell drugs.

I was getting into fights every weekend.

I was a menace to society.

So that's how I found myself again,
stood in the dock at Warrington Crown

facing charges of assault.

There's no big mysteries to how I got to
be this way.

I got put into care when I was five
until I was 18.

Basically, it's like prison for kids.

That was probably why I turned out to be
the nasty, horrible kid that I was,

because it didn't have that father
figure to show me right from wrong.

Please rise to the court.

So when the judge was going to send me
back to prison, Mr. White, the Crown

Court hereby charges you with a criminal
damage... Well, at that moment, it was

like a spur -of -the -moment thing.

I legged it back to the court, out the
courtroom, down the stairs, two at a

time. I didn't know where I was going.

I just kept running and running and
running.

It was either go to prison on my own or
go on the run.

I knew the perfect place, the Costa del
Sol, in Spain.

There's a lot of British criminals out
there with a hell of a lot of money.

They actually call it the Costa del
Crime.

It was a paradise.

A gangster's paradise.

I got myself a job in a bar.

The bar was owned by a guy called Bob.

In a nutshell, old -school classic
gangster.

He's a gentleman, but he's also a
business -minded gangster.

He took a shine to me.

Yeah, son.

I loved working for him.

But it wasn't just a job. It was like,
it was a way in.

I already had an inkling that he was
involved in the drug business.

That's where I wanted to be.

I wanted that big fat Rolex on my wrist.

I wanted the suits. I wanted to look the
part.

I just wanted to be a someone.

Thanks, Lee.

So, one night at a bar.

Bob says, do you want to earn some money
tomorrow?

Yeah, man, of course I do.

I've got a little job for you.

He says, do you want to come down to the
coast and pick up some hashbricks and

bring them back for me?

So straight away, I jumped at the
opportunity.

Yeah, you sure?

You're up for it? Yeah. I just wanted to
prove myself to him.

The next day we set off to Benidorm. How
are you, mate?

Me, Bob and Danny.

Danny was Bob's right -hand man at the
time.

Bob and Danny were driving in one car
and I was in another.

Driving down there, I was anxious.

I was nervous. I was bouncing off the
walls.

And we get there, pull into this big,
massive villa that's got a massive wall

around it.

I felt important.

I felt like I was wanted.

Like I was part of a unit.

It was surreal. It was like, wow, I bet
he liked something out of a film.

This Moroccan opens the door.

So we walk in.

There's two other Moroccans in there,
all with guns.

I thought, wow, now I'm in the big
leagues.

I've never seen that amount of brick
ever.

Bob's having a look around at the
bricks.

There's a lot of things going through my
mind, what could go wrong.

If it was a set -up, then Bob pulls out
a lot of money, money pays him.

Go on then, zip it up.

And that's it.

We loaded the car with the 50 kilo of
brick.

Our new tank.

We could see the back of the car go
down.

I thought, it's not only, like, a lot of
weight to look at, it's a lot of time

in jail.

In Bob and Danny's car, they had not a
gram of hashes.

Nothing.

It was my job to drive the hash.

It was the first big job that Bob tested
me on.

And I just wanted it all to go smooth.

I thought, oh, I hope the police don't
see the back end of this car down when I

pull me over.

All the way home, I was panicking.

I just left the police looking for me in
Warrington.

The last thing I wanted was getting
locked up for a bigger sentence in a

prison.

I don't want to bring attention to
myself.

I just want to be cool, calm and
collected.

Easy money, boys!

When I finally got back to Bob's place,
they come over to me, shake my hand,

give me a hug.

So well done.

And I'm smiling from ear to ear.

So I felt important, I felt valued.

And that was what it was all about,
being valued and being in that clique.

Bob introduced me to his gangster
friends. We wanted a big house, flash

nice women in big pools.

That was what I craved.

I had a boy, when I was made up, I felt
like part of a family.

Over the months, I did more and more
runs up and down the coast.

Collecting the hashbricks.

And gaining more and more of his trust.

Nice, that man, isn't he?

Yeah, he was loving life.

Drinking, girls, parties for six, seven
in the morning.

Yeah. Nice to meet you, Michelle. I
thought I recognised you.

Yeah, I work for Bob.

Bob was like a father figure, do you
know what I mean?

Basically looking for his approval all
the time.

It's like, he had plans for me.

Listen, there's a couple more jobs
coming up.

Yeah. I felt untouchable.

I felt unstoppable.

So one day, when I was working behind
the bar, Danny comes back in. He said,

Merry Christmas.

Where have you been?

He said, you do know I've been to Peru,
don't you?

Hang on.

What for?

There's more than that around, mate.

And he said, well, I'll go down to Peru
and bring back some coke, some kilos of

coke. But Bob, he must have had over 12,
13 stamps in the passport, and he'd

never been arrested once.

He said he'd get between five and ten
grand per kilo.

I just wanted to make that money and
keep going up in the ranks.

I wanted to speak to Bob.

Bob. Who's that?

Listen, I told him I was very eager to
go do the run to Peru.

I was well up for a challenge, I always
was. I told him, I won't let you down.

So he said, I know you can do it. I know
you've got the balls for it.

He said, leave it with me.

Sound. Cheers, Bob.

I was excited.

Of course I was.

I was excited to, like, yeah, go up a
level.

But I was my own worst enemy.

I'd been drinking all day in the bar.

I was absolutely wasted.

And this guy jumped up and pulled out a
broken glass bottle.

I thought, I'm out of this, I don't care
who you are.

So I go behind the bar and look out this
mini -app. I was wrecked in the

bathroom and I just went at him like a
boss.

Come on!

Come on!

After that, everybody scattered.

I didn't think anything of it.

But the very next day, I went to go see
Bob.

All right, Bob?

All right, Bob?

Bob wasn't happy about the incident
outside the club.

I've had to deal with the police, the
commissioners. The police come and they

try closing him down and, yeah, the guy
wasn't happy.

With an axe?

You're a clown.

I brought heat to his legitimate
business.

He told me I needed to stay away from
the bar.

Do you hear me?

I want to do Peru.

And then he said to me, Peru?

It's gone. The run to Peru was out the
window.

You had your chance and you blew it. Do
you hear me now?

I wasn't going to earn that five to ten
grand.

Now, on your way.

Bob turned his back on me.

I felt outcasted.

I was upset.

Do you know what I honestly thought?

I thought I was up and coming. I'm going
to be this big, bad gangster that I

wanted to be all my life.

And I vowed to myself, Bob wasn't going
to stop me from doing it. Nobody was

going to stop me from doing it.

I decided to do it on my

own. I didn't need Bob to sort it out. I
could go somewhere else and do it

another way.

And I made my way to a good friend that
I got.

Oh, a stranger.

And her name is Michelle.

How you doing?

Good, you? Yeah.

Michelle wasn't some dolly bird. She was
serious.

She knew the people that Bob went
through to do the runs to Peru.

Michelle, I need you to do me a favour.

So I asked Michelle, I pressured
Michelle, to intro me to the Peruvians

me a contact or whatever. She said, are
you sure you want to do this? I said,

yeah, Michelle, I want to do it.

I want you to do it for the buzz.

Hi. Yeah, it's me.

I've found the perfect candidate.

Not only for the money, but for the buzz
and the respect.

Babe?

But... You know when you get that... in
the film?

She tells me.

When you get there... Somebody's going
to bring these capsules to you.

And you have to swallow them.

I was shocked.

I assumed that it might be a kilo in a
suitcase, like...

Swallowing drugs is a whole different
ballgame.

Most people would have pulled out.

I didn't.

I was going to get 12 or 13 grand, and I
just wanted it, I was craving it, I was

chasing that buzz and I was chasing that
money.

Let's do it.

I thought, right, let's go for it, let's
do it.

So a few days later, I landed in Peru.

It was... It was like stepping into a
different world.

I'd never been anywhere like that
before.

Are the girls nice, yeah? Yeah.

Check in.

To my hotel.

Just couldn't believe where I was.

I was like, wow.

That was where it all hit me. That's
where it hit home at that point.

Where am I?

There was no going back.

I decided to go and explore.

I went to different bars and clubs.

They bought me 3 .5 grams of the best
Coke I've ever had in my life.

I'm sorry I enjoyed my time there.

I didn't sleep much.

I didn't. I didn't.

I didn't.

I didn't.

I didn't.

I didn't. I didn't. I didn't. I didn't.
I didn't. I didn't. I didn't. I didn't.

I didn't. I didn't. I didn't. I didn't.
I didn't. I didn't. I didn't. I didn't.

I didn't. I didn't. I didn't. I didn't.
I didn't. I didn't. I didn't. I didn't.

I didn't. I didn't. I didn't. I didn't.
I didn't. I didn't. I didn't. I didn't.

I didn't. I didn't. I didn't. I didn't.
I didn't. I didn't. I didn't. I didn't.

I didn't. I didn't. I didn't. I didn't.
I didn't. I didn't.

I didn't. I

I didn't really want to answer it, but I
knew I had to.

Hello?

Oh, yeah.

Is this Ainsley?

Yeah, it is, yeah.

Ainsley says... You need to go to Park,
Kenzie. One hour.

Wait, which park?

Yeah, I had a million thoughts running
through my mind at that time.

I was scared, but I had to do what I
come here to do.

Every time somebody walked past... I
think he's this him.

Is that him?

No, man.

Hello, hermanito.

How's that, mate?

This must be him.

And he's walked up with a black plastic
bag.

I didn't look in the bag.

Didn't want to look in the bag.

I didn't want to see what it looked
like.

And he said, do you know what you're
doing?

I went, yeah, mate, I know what I'm
doing.

So then he gave me a little pill. He
said, eat this pill an hour before you

to the airport.

It stops you from going to the toilet.

It constipates you.

Now I've got the bag.

And I've got all this coke.

I felt the weight inside that bag.

I thought, wow.

I saw a lot of weight that I've got to
eat.

The fear set in then.

I stood there in front of my bed.

No way.

I thought to myself, that's impossible,
I can't eat all that.

I didn't think I'd manage to get it
inside my body.

But I couldn't just throw a kilo of coke
in the bin and say, right, I'm off

home.

Then I started to panic even more.

I was in too deep then.

There was no way out.

I lined all these pellets up on the bed.

Ten, ten, ten, ten, ten, ten, ten, five.

Like 85 of them accounted.

I'm panicking, petrified, nervous.

Right.

I thought, tomorrow's set off, 11 .30 in
the morning.

I'm thinking, it's now seven o 'clock.

I've got well over 12 hours.

So I psych myself up. I work my mind. I
get my mind ready for this.

I get my glass of water.

I pick up the first one.

scratching my throat on the inside.

I thought, no, I can't do it.

I've got to get this in. I've got to get
this down my throat.

And I drink it and I swallow it.

And I feel it sliding down my throat and
into my stomach. You can feel it

actually inside my body.

And I go and I do it again.

And again.

And again.

And I get to about eight, nine, ten.

And I'm getting used to it by that time.

It took me about an hour.

An hour and a half. I still had about
another six rows, ten in each row to go.

I had to do it.

I had to keep going on.

And I carry on for another hour.

And then really I do feel full.

I feel bloated.

I guess what I remember is 47.

I remember that number specifically, 47.

Start retching.

So I run into the bathroom.

Nearly fell to my knees. I was sweating.
It was hot.

I was panicking.

My heart sank.

I was devastated, yeah. I just wanted
him in, man. I just wanted him in.

I'm running out of time.

I'm thinking, I'm not going to make it,
I'm not going to make it.

I was wounded, I was gutted.

But if you come out, you have to go back
in.

And I realised... I'd been rushing them,
getting in as many as I could, as fast

as I could. That was probably why my
body was rejecting it.

So what I did was I slowed the pace down
a little bit.

And as the hours went by, the rolls were
getting less and less.

So I had about another ten more.

Fifteen more.

Someone's coming up then.

I'd been awake all night doing this.

And I eventually got the last one in.

About an hour before they had to set off
for the airport.

And he had it here.

He had it there in his throat. I could
feel it right there, the last pellet.

He hadn't dropped. There was no room in
me. I was pulled from the bottom to the

top.

I took the pill.

I hope for the best.

Looking down at my stomach, you couldn't
tell that I'd eaten a load of pellets.

I knew it.

My stomach was tightening.

Uncomfy.

The taxi's all over the place. It's
bumpy.

And them jiggling around everywhere.

Oh. Oh.

Steady driver, mate. I was thinking that
could burst one of them.

I start feeling a bit woozy.

I start panicking.

I fell off my head.

That was very, very scary.

I just wanted to get home and get them
out.

But I've only just got in this airport,
and this woman comes from my left.

She was the airport security.

And she did a double take.

It was almost like she recognised me.

But I just got to keep my head cool.

I didn't want to come across to anybody
like I was nervous.

I started walking to the checking desk.

But then that woman wearing the uniform
was now stood talking to two other

people.

Looking and glancing in my direction.

I started really getting paranoid then.
They were on to me.

I'm thinking, right, don't look at them.
Keep focused, stay strong and keep

calm.

And I get to the checking desk.

And all of a sudden, behind the checking
desk,

that woman said, can you step over

here, please?

I knew they were on to me. I knew it. I
felt it.

They opened my suitcase, searching in
the base of it, searching all my

I was terrified.

I didn't know what to do, but I knew I
had to keep Carl.

But then all of a sudden...

You can go now.

Wow. I wanted to dance on the checking
desk.

I was proper over the moon.

I went up the escalators and made my way
to the departure gate.

I was thinking, I've done this.

I'm going to get home with no problems.

This nightmare was nearly over.

I was nearly on the plane.

Guess who's there then?

She was like a magician that just popped
out of nowhere.

I could see she wanted my blood.

Please, please, come with me.

So she leads me around this wall.

That was when my heart dropped.

It was a body scanner.

that's going to show my insides, clear
as day.

Numb. Feeling numb.

She presses a button on the computer.

And I do it, I move a little bit, till I
blur the vision.

Blur the x -ray.

Quieto! Oh, she screams at me. Stop!

Stand still.

Yeah, my heart's gone. I don't feel
anything. I feel absolutely dead.

And she goes, right, sit there.

And she leaves me on my own.

There's no way of getting out of that.
Oh, he accidentally swallowed the 85, 12

gram pellet of coke.

But I'm an opportunity.

If I can try and get myself out of that
situation and escape, I will.

So...

Started running.

I ran through the straps.

Bam, bam, bam, bam.

And I just, for a second I thought I
might get away.

But then out of nowhere all these police
come.

Don't tell me I was wrestling with men.

Get off me!

Get off me!

They had me.

Game over.

They led me to a medical centre.

I knew I wasn't getting home.

The doctor puts the X -ray on this white
light.

It shows from my neck all through my
intestines.

I was loaded up from head to toe.

And he goes, aye, aye, aye.

Even the police officers were shocked.

And the doctor went to me.

You do know if one of these burns,
you're dead, don't you?

So they give me a load of fluid,
laxative fluid.

Then after a while, I can feel myself
needing to go to the toilet.

I need the toilet.

The toilet.

And they said, right, you've got to go
in that bucket.

I said, what?

Five minutes later, I'm squatting over
this bucket, feeling embarrassed.

I'm squeezing my stomach.

And it was like a machine gun.

I had all these pellets come shooting
out.

Yeah, they hit that bucket.

Took three days to get all of them out.

Took me 12 hours to get them in, but
three days to come out.

And finally, the doctor was telling the
police that, yeah, he's clear.

So I was expecting some sort of trial,
some sort of court hearing, but that

wasn't, no, it didn't happen that way.

I was shackled by my feet and they
escorted me out directly to the prison.

The prison was in the middle of a
shantytown.

I didn't know what to expect.

I'm waddling along because of the
shackles.

And as I walk in there,

It hits me, it's like, wow, it was like
a nightmare.

I've been to prison many a times before,
but this one was a whole different

ballgame.

UK prisons are like holiday camps
compared to India.

I was scared, I was frightened.

And then they said, right, get in there,
and you're going to sleep on that floor

there.

There was people everywhere. It was
overcrowded. It was like inhumane living

conditions.

And then... It's time for lights out.

You see the lighters.

All over the place, people are smoking
crack.

And amongst the flickers on the walls,
you can see these cockroaches crawling

all over people's backs and over their
faces.

At that moment, everything closed in on
me.

There was nowhere to go. I couldn't
escape my demons. I couldn't escape the

nightmare I was in. I couldn't escape
the place where I was.

I hated myself because I was now locked
up abroad.

I was now one of them people that I'd
seen on the TV years and years earlier.

I was now living that nightmare.

The next morning, I was starving.

The hunger pains in my stomach were
unbearable.

The servery guy digs me rice out of the
pot

and uncovers a boiled rat in the bottom
of the cauldron.

My stomach was like... All the muscles
in my stomach just started retching.

It was revolting.

But I needed to eat.

I needed some money.

I really needed to speak to Bob.

I was in a desperate situation.

If anyone could help me get out of that
situation, it wouldn't have been

Michelle. It would have been him.

I was hesitant.

He's still annoyed with me for doing the
run to Peru.

Sainsley. Hello, mate.

I've been nicked in Peru.

That's not a girl, is it?

He wasn't angry with me.

He was actually gutted for me.

What's it like in there?

I told him, like, it's not a nice place.

Proper rough.

I can imagine.

So then Bob ended up telling me
something that really blew my mind.

You sit up, mate.

Bob was telling me the drug traffickers
send people intending on them to get

caught. While everyone was watching you
getting nicked at the airport, the

clever ones had just walked straight
through.

Used a decoy for them, mate.

Suddenly it all made sense.

The woman, the way she looked at me as I
walked through the doors into the

airport, watching me, whispering,
glancing in my direction.

They threw the police a bone.

I was that bone.

While in the queue behind me, other
people are coming through with more

So the proving's used me as bait from
the beginning, and I never realised.

Listen, Ainsley, I want you to be
strong.

I will send you some money.

All right, thanks, Bob.

Appreciate it, man.

See you later.

See you later.

I was gutted, man.

I thought it was a somebody.

I thought I was a gangster, I thought I
was in the big league, I thought I was

up and coming.

But really I wasn't.

There'd be times coming, hard, hard
times.

I knew it wasn't going to be good, it
wasn't going to be easy.

This was now going to be the biggest
test of my life.

See you, Mum.

I was given six years and eight months.

And I felt so alone.

Alone on the other side of the world.

Thinking of the people that I've lost
and left behind.

Thinking about my daughter.

She was six years old when I went on the
run.

I'm not going to get out until she's 13.

I wanted to speak to my daughter on the
phone.

I hadn't spoke to her for a year.

I dialed her mum.

Hello.

Sainsley. What do you want?

Listen, can you put Ellie on the phone?

She wouldn't let me speak to her. She
said, no, you're not speaking to your

daughter. She doesn't need you. She
doesn't want you.

I've told her where you are. She knows
what you did.

You've sold us, Dwayne.

You're a terrible father.

Don't call back. Wait, wait, wait.

I was caught it.

I went on the run and they hadn't spoke
to me for a year. That's my fault, that.

I blame myself for not speaking to her.
I should have made more of an effort.

So when I hung up the phone, I was a
mess.

The emotion turned into anger.

Angry, I was furious.

Fuming.

And I bumped into one of the inmates.

And he comes to me. What do you think
you are?

He's screaming at me.

He started punching me.

My fuse had blown.

I had just lost control.

And I didn't stop. I didn't let go.

The guards come out of nowhere.

And they grabbed me and they pulled me
off.

I got marched out by the guards.

And they put me in a hole.

The hole is isolation.

I was on my own, like a caged animal
pacing.

I had nothing to do. There was nowhere
for me to go.

Every day in that hole, I used to put
one more tally.

One, two, three, four, five, cross.

One, two, three, four, cross it.

Days got turned into one month.

Then six weeks.

Then two months.

It wears you down.

It starts to grind on you.

It punishes you.

It's torture.

It's mental torture.

It's emotional torture.

I've done this to get myself out of one
situation to better myself and I've just

got myself in a worse one.

Thinking about me being a failure as a
dad.

I've repeated what my mum done to me,
what my dad did to me.

They all abandoned me.

What my family have done to me, I've
done that to my own daughter.

I failed her.

I ruined my life and her life. I ruined
everything.

But it's all me.

Nobody else.

Who can I blame?

Who can I blame?

I was hard, man.

I can deal with physical pain. I can't
deal with emotional pain.

That was where it all started, the
downward spiral.

I started to freak out because I didn't
know when I was going to get out.

They wouldn't let me out.

I was at rock bottom.

They were breaking me. They were trying
to break me. It's mentally trying to

break me.

She knows what you did.

I was going insane in there. She knows
what you did.

I was thinking

that I wasn't going to survive.

I knew I'd have

to fight to get out of there alive.

I wasn't going to give up. I couldn't
give up.

I pressed up. There was nothing else for
me to do. Press up, press up, press up,

and more, press up.

I had a lot of time to think.

I stopped deluding myself.

Nobody else put me there but me.

If I did a crime, you do the time.

And I was doing hard time.

Very hard.

I made a promise to myself to change me
way.

All right, then.

See your daddy.

Be a better person, be a better dad.

He's being a bit silly.

Get out and give her... Not only money.

It's not about the money.

It's about me time.

Give her the time that I've missed out
on to make an effort with her.

I'll see you soon, mate.

To try and get that bond that's been
broke back.

To try and build a life with her.

I was in there nearly five months.

So when I finally got out of that hole,
back into the population, it was

amazing.

Now it's time to change.

Now was the time to make the promise to
myself to make myself a better man.

It was all or nothing. I had nothing
else.

Eventually, Bob sent me some money, and
that was like a lifeline to me.

I needed that money to buy me bed.

This is when it started to change.

My ex finally come round.

Hello? It's me again.

Listen, can I have a talk? Right, hang
on.

Ellie!

She let me speak to my daughter. Who is
it, Mum? It's your dad.

And I heard a little voice and I said,
Ellie?

Yeah.

Is that you?

Hiya. Hiya, Dad.

How you doing, sweetheart? You all
right? Good, thanks.

I told her that I loved her and I'm
sorry for leaving her.

I said, um...

And I'll make it all up to her when I
get back.

Mum's saying I've got to go now. Bye,
Dad. I miss you. Bye. Bye -bye.

Bye. Love you.

Just to hear her voice, yeah, it lifted
my spirits.

I needed something to remind me of her.

So I decided to draw a chain and I put
Ellie and Ainsley inside it.

I got that chain made.

42 grams of pure Peruvian silver.

I spent the last bit of money that I
had.

I kept it close to me, kept it under my
pillow.

I slept with it every day.

And I made a promise that I would see
her one day when all this nightmare was

over and give it from my hand.

Into her hand.

I started to channel my energy in a
positive way. El brazo.

I used to lie there and just study the
dictionary, Spanish dictionary.

I wanted to grab anything I could out of
that experience, out of that nightmare.

I loved educating myself.

I loved making myself better.

I started to paint cells as a way of
making money.

These grey, grey walls of people's
selves started changing into colour,

It bloomed.

Everything just evolved.

It was definitely the first time I had a
reputation for doing something positive

and good in life rather than bad and
negative.

I'd been in there six years and eight
months.

The guards come, call me to go, to go
free.

I had so many butterflies in my stomach.

I'm walking out there, I'm leaving that
pass behind me.

I left everything in there where it
belonged.

Them gates opened and I walked through
them gates into freedom, into the

world.

I finally got to give Ellie the necklace
in person.

Yeah, and that was one of the proudest
moments.

Just to look her in the eye and give her
that chain that had kept safe, that had

battled through.

That was the end of one long, massive,
stressful chapter.

So now I've got a proper job, carpet
fitting and floor laying.

Watch your fingers.

Please don't be chopping your fingers.

Do it slowly, slower.

No rush.

Now it's the new chapter.

Bright future that I'm going to make for
myself and my daughter.

That's it.

The gangster lifestyle was the way I
wanted.

But I was chasing dreams.

I needed that sentence.

Because it made me the person I am
today.

A better person. I'm a better man for
it.

I'm proud of myself now.