Original subtitles

I was a rebel and a party girl.

But I had big ambition.

I wanted money and power.

You're on your own.

But it was a man's world.

And I had to fight to get it.

I was running with the real big guys.

Our product is the best.

I felt invincible.

I was gonna be the dame of cocaine.

Hey, chill, guys.

I thought, I'm so clever that they will never catch me.

In 1994, I was 31 years old, living in Berlin,

working as a striptease dancer.

I grew up in a very, very small town in Germany.

My father was a very successful businessman, and I'm his only daughter.

My dad has tried to keep me at home.

But I wanted to leave that tiny little village and that life.

So I left for Berlin.

I was always looking for more.

For adventures.

I wanted to travel the world. I wanted to meet different people.

I wanted to have excitement.

I became the party girl and I loved trucks.

In Berlin they were everywhere.

Whenever I wanted, whatever I wanted.

I found the truck business very exciting.

And one night...

Wanna try? Listen?

Wanna try? I was partying with these underground bosses who used

to have heaps of drug connections.

And they told me about the special hotels in Quito, Ecuador.

You can buy really good quality cocaine from the Colombian cartel.

And I thought that's exciting.

That's right.

I was ambitious and I was driven.

I thought the truck business could bring me success.

But it was pretty much a man's world.

One night after work, we were winding down.

And there was this guy standing there.

And immediately I was drawn to him. I thought, yeah, wow.

Very sexy.

And we started talking and talking.

And his name was Werner.

I found out he lives in Melbourne. Even he was German origin.

But he was on the run and living on a fake passport.

I used to be a bad boy.

I found it very, very thrilling. You know, this was like, hmm,

criminal attraction to me.

That was my kind of guy.

We had wild sex.

It was two with a wild stranger.

Can I say the word?

Werner was 18 years older, and probably your parents

were a nightmare.

Werner told me that he had left his criminal past behind him, and that he's

having a clean, fresh start now in Australia.

And I knew I have to go where this guy is living, so I

went to Australia.

I thought Australia would be a whole new great adventure for me.

I was thrilled. I was excited.

And if I want to stay in Australia, I've got to marry Werner.

Baby, you're married.

But very soon, reality set in and

it was just not as exciting as I thought it should be.

When I wanted some cocaine, it wasn't that easy to access.

There's no good cocaine around here.

None? No.

Anything which is rare, of course, is more expensive.

Drugs in Australia, three times the price than in Berlin.

I spotted the gap in the market pretty fast.

So I thought, well...

That's my opportunity to show them what a woman is capable of doing, and I can

bring them a party they will never forget.

But I want to be independent from anyone, especially Werner, my husband.

So I told Werner I need to go on holiday, and he

bought it.

They grew this plan inside of me that I will take my striptease money and go to

Ecuador Quito You can buy really good quality cocaine from the Colombian

To go and find this hotel

When I arrived, all I felt was excitement.

I was hoping to find in this hotel in Ecuador the right people to bring

some cocaine back into Australia.

I could sense this must be the

owner of the hotel.

Hola.

One tequila, please.

I needed him to introduce me to the cartel.

But you can't go straight to the point.

I thought let's get him to party a bit with me.

He realized, oh gosh, this woman can

drink tequila as much as any Ecuadorian man.

Maybe would there be some cocaine available?

We started to have these lines of cocaine.

I told him about the situation in Australia, that they don't have as much

cocaine as one would think.

And then I've noticed, ah, yeah, yeah, he's getting the drift, you know.

And he said, I actually do know guys in Colombia.

I do have contact to the cartel, really straight to the top.

So I said, I want to be introduced to buy a few kilos.

He said to me, first of all, you've got to show them that you do have

the balls.

You're going to go to Colombia?

You cannot fly or anything.

You've got to go through the jungle, past the border, without getting a stamp

into your passport.

Then they might offer you to do business with them.

I thought, great, here is my chance.

I wasn't thinking twice about it. I was just saying, okay, off we go.

The next day, he showed me the border to Colombia.

He showed me on the map where I had to go.

There. I wasn't really sure what was in the jungle.

I mean, I pictured all those things, like snakes, crocodiles, poisonous

You're on your own.

Don't get caught.

I was not trying to think of anything but the goal.

So I just tried to stay focused and that one foot after

the other and walk through it.

Anyone else would have returned after half an hour.

But I had big ambition.

I wanted money and power and I had to fight to get it.

Of course, there were moments of despair when I wanted to turn around, when I

didn't want to continue.

But I would never, ever have turned around.

Failure was never an option.

So there was no way I was going to win.

After four or five hours, I stumbled out of the jungle, and then I saw this

guy.

I had no idea if they ever even would accept a woman.

I mean, this is here again a more male -dominated world.

He was heavily armed.

They have those huge guns.

There was only the option either I die or I survive.

I tried to tell myself to stay calm, but one wrong move and

I wouldn't live to tell the story.

He looks at me.

There are not many other European women stumbling out of this jungle.

But yeah.

It's just you, Andrea!

Yeah, it's just not it.

I got a little bit frightened.

But I would never lose faith in front of the guys.

I got very nervous.

He drove me through the jungle to like a little production factory

of cocaine.

Hi.

Our product is the best.

to not get as easily detected by the x -ray.

Cocaine is sealed into slippers.

So you could transport 10 kilos?

He tells me it's only interesting for us if you buy like 100 kilos.

Okay.

I had to make clear that I had only the money now to buy seven kilos.

And if I get, like, these first loads sold, I can get the money for a

higher amount.

We got a deal.

I paid 70 ,000 US dollars, but he made clear where the lines are.

If you ever get caught, you don't know me and you have never been here.

If I get interrogated by the police and mention him, well, I

would be killed.

Now, I had to get the cocaine back into Australia.

I'm about to walk through customs with seven kilos of

cocaine in my bag.

I was thinking you're going to be in serious trouble for this amount.

Where are you coming from?

Enjoy your stay.

Hi.

I have to say I felt a bit of fear, but then there was no turning back.

Where are you coming from?

I said I'm just coming from a lovely holiday in Ecuador.

Do you have anything to declare?

Well, I have... seven kilos of cocaine.

But I said, nothing to declare except a suntanned skin.

And he said, Welcome to Australia.

Thank you.

That was it.

And The rush I had after was exciting, was really good.

It's a thrill of getting away, but it's also a thrill of success.

I didn't tell my husband anything about what I've done.

I still stick with the story. I was having a holiday.

And the deception made me feel powerful.

It made me feel in charge.

And I had the best sex ever after.

Now I'm back and I got the seven kilos to move.

I knew this guy before I left who would have cash to buy a few kilos.

Best I've ever had.

You got yourself a deal. I had the money, so the job was done.

Where'd you get this?

All those men, those Australian guys, couldn't deliver.

Don't you worry about that.

And the real big guys in Colombia, they are...

Doing business with me, you see?

Only with me.

In my eyes, I was the queen.

This is only the start of my business.

I was seen to open a new train from South America to

Australia.

Now, I had the money to buy again, so I bought even more.

Then for the next go, this can go much higher.

I was now really at a point where I could start something, where I could

start a really good business going.

Okay. See you then.

When it gets more than 100 kilos.

It has to be moved by ship.

I traveled to South America.

I handed over the money.

And for the next three years, I organized shiploads of cocaine.

Four or five deals a year.

The little woman coming from this little town in Germany is doing worldwide big

business.

I had more than a million US dollars in the cupboard.

It was very thrilling, and I couldn't let go of it.

I was the Dame of Cocaine.

Werner didn't ask too much because he knew my father was very wealthy.

I thought now

I made it.

I'm taking over the man's world.

I was such a fool.

Doing all these operations on my own was now a big challenge.

I couldn't share anything with anyone.

I had to play a role.

I felt lonely.

I thought that success would bring me happiness, but it

doesn't. It doesn't now.

Werner was asking how we could afford this, that or the other.

You do things behind my back.

Of course, I couldn't explain it.

Let me. Who are you, my father?

And so we also fought a lot.

I can do what I want.

It all led up to being more and more empty and isolated from everything.

So when Werner asked me again... What's going on?

I thought maybe it is time to get truthful with him.

I had been working with the Colombian cartel.

I told him I was taking shiploads of cocaine from South America

into Australia.

I just thought, I can't take it all on my shoulders.

And I thought maybe if I share it with Werner, he will help me.

But I didn't know what he would say.

He'd be lying to me all the time.

At first, he was pretty pissed off.

But then he took it as a challenge of himself and wanted to get involved.

I should do it.

I'm the man.

I guess he wanted to go to show, you know, that he is much cleverer, that he

do it better to satisfy his ego.

But I felt a sense of relief.

I thought maybe I should trust him.

I made a phone call to the Colombians and I told them that this time the

gonna be picked up by my husband.

Yeah, not me.

I just hope you don't fail me.

Don't mess this up.

It's gonna work out fine.

I got the flights booked.

So he was ready to go on this trip.

Okay.

But the rest, I left it all up to him.

A few weeks later, Werner flew to pick up cocaine from the

cartel.

And when he was gone, the Colombian phoned me.

The drugs have to get picked up. They can't just lay there.

Every day, Werner changed something of this itinerary.

And I got all these invoices.

He was shopping in Berlin, in Milano, in Paris, everywhere.

It was weird.

It was feeling really bad.

I thought he was a big time. I had this.

horrible feeling.

I did take more and more drugs to cope.

And the cocaine makes you paranoid.

I was suddenly feeling all the time ice on me.

The stress and the paranoia, they did get so intense.

I tried to blind myself doing heroin.

It was my mind.

A few weeks later, when I finally came home

with the cocaine.

Hi, baby.

After all these weeks being gone, I'm a mess.

So I was really happy to see him.

He looked happy, and out of a sudden I

heard a huge noise.

Police was storming my house.

When I was screaming,

Suddenly I had a gun pointed to my head. I thought, I'm going to be

shot any second.

I'm going to be shot now.

The police got the cocaine and said, we got it, we got it, we found it.

The detective turned around towards me and said, we've got much more on you.

We've got far much more than you ever think of.

You'll never ever get home again.

I'm in complete frozen shock.

It was the end of the day of cocaine.

From the moment of the arrest, they separated Werner and me.

So I was driven alone to the Melbourne Custodial Centre.

The police officer said, with every word you have been saying the

last six months.

He explained they had listening devices and every part of the house was bugged.

I thought, well, some... How about this hotel?

The next eight hours, they were playing the tapes to me.

They were saying, tell us all about your husband's involvement.

And who else is involved in Colombia, in Melbourne.

If I betray the Colombian, there would be a dead person. That was for damn

So I always only said, no comment.

He said to me, you're done.

You're not going to see him.

daylight anymore.

I got taken out of the van at the women's prison.

I actually wanted to

fall apart, crawl some corner and cry.

But yeah, I couldn't.

A screw took me in reception and I got my first lip search

ever.

Open your mouth.

She combed through my hair with her fingers.

Spread your legs.

Spread them.

And then I had to bend over and spread my ass.

Grab yourself and get dressed.

I've been a 50s dancer and I was never shy of being naked.

But it felt like my soul is stripped.

I wasn't a person anymore. I was a prisoner with a criminal record number,

145768.

Of course, this was a very different world.

I had no more power and no more control.

I tried just to forget everything, but I couldn't.

I was about to fall apart, I think. I became aware I've been in prison now.

And I felt really scared.

It was very noisy.

They were banging inside their cells at the wall.

Suddenly, my door opened.

A woman barged in. One jumped on the bed on top of me.

saying, come on, German, get out and play a little bit.

Don't be boring, German. Come on.

I think some women were very dangerous.

I had the allowance of a call with my family.

My parents knew already that I'm in prison.

I didn't know what to say. What can I tell them?

My mom came on first.

Hello, Mutti?

I'm so sorry.

No,

no.

Please don't come.

She handed the phone over to my dad.

He tried to say hello, but he couldn't get the word out.

And then I heard this sobbing, and this was heartbreaking for me.

I'm so sorry.

I always wanted to make my dad proud of me.

But I did quite the opposite.

I made him feeling ashamed of me.

I hurt him really bad.

This was the moment when it did hit in, what have I done to my family?

What have I done? I never thought of them. I never before.

I was such a selfish... This

was the lowest and the most painful moment.

In my entire life.

I have to go.

I'll call you as soon as I can.

I was in prison now, and I, yeah, and I couldn't see how I ever get out of this.

My husband, Werner, was in tremendous prison, and I certainly missed him.

I missed him very much.

But then I finally get my trial.

Of course, I was afraid to death of being in prison forever.

I was sitting next to Werner.

The lawyer had this surveillance on tape, and I heard about the

total extent of Werner's betrayal.

I am going to take an ex -girlfriend with me. She thinks we are going on

holiday. Werner took his ex -girlfriend with him.

to get the drugs from Colombia.

And I suspect he was having an affair.

And then it gets much worse.

I am going to be hiding a whole lot of cocaine in her bag.

He wanted to abuse and use his ex -girlfriend as his mule.

And she had no idea.

I felt like not only that he lied to me, I just think this is love.

I felt complete disgust and no love anymore.

All love was gone.

Werner pleaded not guilty.

He's a fool.

He's just a fool.

So Werner got...

13 years because he didn't show any remorse.

But I pleaded guilty and I

got sentenced by the judge for eight years.

After the sentencing, I told Vernon that I would file for divorce.

I didn't care anymore.

He could just get...

Eight years is a long time, especially behind bars.

I tried just to forget everything and anything, but I couldn't.

So one day, this woman, Tiny, she

offered me drugs.

She offered me heroin.

I wanted to escape.

She pulled out the needle and she pulled out the plunger.

We made the mixture and we were shooting it up.

From that moment on, I was completely out of it.

There were trucks in there, a ship load.

It was really bad in there.

I had to numb my brain, my feelings, my everything.

So I did take more and more drugs.

Drugs was all I had to cope.

But one day, they called all the prisoners into the hole.

Everyone get up. Time to go. Follow me.

We were going to be drug tested.

I knew I was because I had been taking drugs.

Any more?

Positive. And I knew the consequences.

21 days in the slot in solitary confinement.

From then on, my life was out of my hands.

I was alone, no human contact,

no cigarettes,

no drugs, nothing anymore.

I was afraid to live without the drugs.

I got panic attack.

I hardly slept.

He told me what got him.

I was going berserk in that I started to throw out my toenails.

Pulling out your toenails is self -harming.

The real pain, which just doesn't stop.

But pain can be a trust.

Because the minute the pain sets in, your thoughts to get distracted just

this drug.

But as the days went on I couldn't hide anymore.

All I could think about was all of the bad choices I made.

And all the people, especially my family, I did hurt.

I had to deal with my demons.

My dad had the sense that the man has to be tough, and the woman is allowed to

be weak.

I wanted to prove him wrong, and the cocaine business made me feel powerful.

But I wasn't.

I thought about being addicted to drugs all these years.

And I decided I didn't want to be that person anymore.

I learned that I don't have to be always the strong one, the one in charge, the

one in power.

It's also okay to be vulnerable.

I had to change my life.

Well, by the time I came out of the slot, I had a whole new perspective

to how I would serve my time.

I stopped taking drugs.

It was much easier than I thought.

I was so relieved when I finally made this decision, and I felt so much better

than I thought I would feel.

I decided to become a peer worker to help other prisoners.

I decided to change this culture where drugs seem to be a positive way to cope

with prison.

We have a program to help you get clean.

Yeah? I thought it might be useful.

Instead of getting each other drugs in, we could help each other by applying for

bail.

filling in forms, helping the ones who can't read and write.

Over the next three years, I started a diary to write about everything I've

through in the past, and everything was started to happen each day.

It made me happy, really happy, and so happiness became my new

highness and my new addiction.

This is an addiction I can live with, I thought.

On the morning of my release day, 16 of August 2004,

I'll never forget the day, I got my life back,

which I don't want to throw away anymore.

My little hometown, the place I always tried to run away from, was

the one place I couldn't wait to get home to.

Because it was home.

It is home.

The Dame of Cocaine is a figure of the past.

It was a very long journey to realize that I don't need drugs or power.

I didn't want to run away from myself anymore.

Finally, I proved to my dad and myself that women can be successful.

Because that little diary I started and failed became 800 pages.

It turned this diary into a book, and it became a bestseller in Australia.

My parents were proud of something I had done.

After all those roles I played, now I'm finally just Andrea and I figure that's

the best one.