Original subtitles

I got me one now.

The hell is that don't look good

Good

on my wall

God damn it.

Always when I'm in the middle of some shit.

Sheriff's department, what?

Sheriff, I saw me a monster today.

Oh, is that right?

Yes, sir.

All right, fine.

I'll play along, Joanne.

Can you describe the assailant?

It was a big, yellow, ugly monster.

Big, yellow...

Monster? A freaking monster.

He was like one of them murder hornets, but done better.

Are you kidding me?

You know making fake 911 calls is a felony?

I swear to God, I'm nervous on people.

Sheriff's Department, what?

Yes, Sheriff?

Why'd you hang up on me?

Yeah, sorry about that. That was an accident.

There is a giant wasp out there.

Jesus Christ.

Send help, Sheriff.

Yeah, no.

Yeah, I'll send one of my deputies out there.

God damn, must be something in the fucking water.

What did you say?

You didn't say something to me.

No, ma 'am, I didn't say anything to you.

Let me get your address.

1977 Thomason Road.

Thomason... Yep, uh -huh.

I got you. I'll send somebody on out there. Thank you.

Yeah, uh -huh. Bye -bye now.

Deputy, I hate to bother you on your day off, but we got a call I need you to go

check out.

I need to head out to the dreaded backwoods.

Why?

Believe it or not, there's reports of a giant monster on the loose.

And how do you want me to handle this monster, sir?

Well, first I want you to report back to me.

what you actually find, and then we'll just go from there.

Yes, sir.

Oh, yeah, one more thing.

The rookie, yeah, get a hold of her, take her with you.

I... Yes, you do, because she's close to where you live, and it'll be good

training for her.

Yes, sir. Call, tell her to get ready, and go pick her up.

Yes, sir.

Just get out there and look around, okay?

If anyone shows up, run them off.

Roger that. I just need to get up, shower, and get dressed, and I'll be on

way.

Hello, I'm Maria reporting to you from Tabloid World News.

Reporting to you that there have been multiple sightings of a giant wasp, the

local sheriff's department has issued a warning to please stay out of the area

and do not engage the wasp. If you don't believe us, then take it from one of

our locals who's being interviewed down by the trailer park about her sightings

of the monster.

folks so there i was you know just standing on the corner i've been out

all day you know waiting on some guy to stop just then the car pulled

over and i made my way over to the window so there i was just talking and

flirting you know trying to make me some money because i got to get me some beer

you know i got because i got to get me some beer

And what do you know?

A monster came running out at me.

Came running out at me.

And then that guy, he took off running. He took off like a bat out of hell.

And so, I had to get my ass out of there too.

And it ain't easy running in these hills.

You know.

You know.

A prostitute?

A fucking prostitute of all the people?

A prostitute?

This is Maria reporting from TWN, and just remember that if it's unbelievable

like the shit you just saw, you'll hear it from us first.

Damn, I look good.

Time to go kick ass.

Hey, sis.

Hey, twin.

Bad news.

Got called in on my day off. Oh, that sucks.

I'm sorry.

Don't I know it. I was going to help you clean today.

Don't you worry about it. I'll get that handled. Thank you. I really appreciate

it.

Don't even stress it. Don't stress it. I'll start sweeping and mopping and I'll

get the clothes ready.

Thank you.

Look for the big yellow bug.

Alright.

Let's go see if there's some big ol' wasps in these woods.

I really hope this goes quickly.

Come on, Rookie.

There we are, Sandy.

Beautiful up here.

Oh, I love this area.

So, what are we doing again?

I mean, I thought we'd do a little bit of fishing and we got the cabin and have

a little bit of fun after a while.

Hmm, sounds like a good idea.

So, do I get to play with your pole later?

Well, yeah.

What kind of pole you got?

Oh, I got a big 10 -inch fast... action rod.

Sounds like your rod can get the job done.

I mean, I could catch a shark with this rod, baby.

I hope your little rod can do the same later.

I haven't had any complaints yet.

You know what they say.

First time for everything.

Oh, that's kind of cold.

How much we get changed?

Oh hell yeah!

So where do we cast from?

I mean we'll use the little fishing pier down at the end of the pond.

How big were they?

You know all guys lie about that stuff.

Yes, yes indeed.

The infamous internet edge.

Yes.

So, I assume you're going to use the black pole?

I think I will.

Okay. Let's see if we can't get this thing together.

Need some help managing your pole there? Oh, no.

I'm completely good with my pole.

I've heard that before.

Yeah.

Maybe we'll find out later.

Is that a promise?

Oh, most definitely.

All right, so what about a little bet?

What kind of bet are you thinking?

I mean, something to do with fishing.

Who catches the first fish or biggest fish?

First fish.

Okay. So what's the wager?

I'll have to put a little thought into that.

Okay.

Sounds like fun. You ready?

Yeah.

Oh, hey, I got one.

Well, look at you.

Oh, crap.

It's a strong one, too.

Nah, it's just because you're weak. Pull on it.

Kiss my ass, Sammy.

Do you want some help?

Yes. All right.

Come on.

first time I've heard that either. Yeah, well, God.

Oh, shit, look.

Oh,

you're on your own.

I didn't even get my pole wet or nothing.

What the fuck?

Jesus.

Ow, that hurt.

No, I'm too pretty to die.

This is ridiculous.

I don't see a damn wasp.

I don't either.

It's the sheriff again.

Hello, Sheriff.

Have either one of you seen anything?

No, Sheriff. Unfortunately, we haven't.

All right. Well, I don't know. Just keep looking, I guess.

If you see anything, give me a call and let me know.

It's a 10 -4, Sheriff.

Alright, Rookie.

Guess we're gonna look around some more.

Do we have to?

My feet hurt so bad, Deputy.

Suck it up!

It's just really hot out here and all this smoke is gonna mess up my makeup

it probably wouldn't be so hot if you'd stop opening your mouth and running it.

It's too hot.

I gotta...

I gotta, I gotta let the chesticles breathe.

Oh, my God.

You know you want to join me. Come on. No, I'm fine. Thank you. It's hot.

You'll feel so much better.

For a second.

It is a little hot.

Okay. Yeah, see?

Don't you feel better?

A little.

Hey, Dad.

Hey, dear.

You doing okay?

I'm okay, Dad.

Your dad's pretty hot.

He's my daddy.

I'm just saying.

He could be my daddy.

Thank you, ma 'am. You're welcome.

What do you want, Dad?

Well, I want to let you know that there appears to be some kind of giant monster

on the loose.

Yeah, we've heard of said monster. We're out here looking for it right now.

Yeah, well, it must be true because, as you know, I'm part of the military

strike force.

I know, Dad.

They're getting us together any moment now. It's in a meeting, so I'm guessing

it's all about this monster.

Oh, wow.

Be careful, Dad.

I will.

You be careful out there, too.

We will.

And, you know, let me know if you get the monster.

If we see it, we're definitely going to kill it. You think you two can handle

this? I got the best deputy right next to me.

Hey, I'm glad you do, because I don't want anything to happen to my baby girl.

I'll be your baby girl.

Okay,

Dad, we gotta go. We gotta go catch this monster, okay?

I hope you do.

We will.

Okay, dear.

Be safe, okay?

I will.

Love you.

Love you.

Yeah, perfect spot.

What on earth was that?

Was that an earthquake?

Well, I may not be a good fisherman, but... Gets me away from the wife.

Rather be out here with these damn fish.

At least they don't nag.

Boy, does she nag.

Damn, she nags.

I bet you she's nagging right now.

Oh, well. I'm away from the wife.

Fish.

Love fish.

I have got to call Fred and figure out what is going on.

Son of a bitch.

I can't get away from this woman for five minutes.

What the hell do you want, woman?

Fred, like, the whole house shook and my ass fell on the floor.

Well, of course the house would shake if your big ass hits the floor.

Fred, go to hell.

I just left from home.

Well, fine. When you come home, please stop and get sandwich meat and bread.

Oh, so you're going to finally make that sandwich, huh, woman?

Make your own damn sandwich.

What the hell are you making? I don't know, but you'll eat whatever I make.

Well, I'm trying to figure out whether I should go scavenge for food or not.

Fuck you.

No fish are biting.

I don't see no wasps.

I guess I'll head to the store.

Lord knows I'm going to hear her damn mouth if I don't. Shit.

I guess I'll go check it out myself then.

That was a giant wall. What is going on here?

I gotta get out of here.

This is some bullshit.

What the hell is that noise?

How about a life vibrator?

What the hell?

I can't stay here all day.

I'm a sitting duck.

I need to make a run for it.

Hey all my wonderful fans, this is Randy from the YouTube channel Killer

Creatures Walk Among Us. And today I'm going to be telling you all about what I

heard on the news.

I heard rumor about this Waspzilla, a real human killer. It's already killed

like, I don't know, 12 people so far?

Many of them in these very woods.

So today I'm going to be telling you all about what I've learned.

The locals?

They say that this Waspzilla is like a giant wasp.

Nobody knows where it came from, but I'm going to tell you everything that I've

learned so far.

The local news, they interviewed this local prostitute, claimed she saw

Waspzilla, but I'm actually here to document the monster and find out if

really real.

Been out here for a while.

I don't really see anything yet.

But I'm going to keep looking. Send out what my fans want.

And they want to see Waspzilla.

Some of the local town folk were telling me a story about how Waspzilla chased

somebody into these woods and killed them.

It's crazy stuff.

I do hear something.

Sounds like...

I don't know.

I get loud B.

Oh my god!

Swazilla! It's coming right for me!

My views are going to go through the roof!

This is not good.

I need to get out of here.

What is that?

What is what?

Run!

Wasilla's coming.

Really? I got video on her. I'd like to see it.

Oh, my God.

It is real. It is.

I wonder where he's at.

I don't know.

Wasilla is that way.

But I don't see anything.

Maybe we should go check it out.

You're right. Let's go check it out. You need to get out of these woods. It's

not safe. Trust me. I definitely will.

Thank you.

I gotta call the sheriff really quick. He's gotta know about this.

Okay, well, I gotta piss like a racehorse, so... Okay, well, don't wipe

poison ivy this time.

That shit was itchy.

Yeah.

God damn it.

Go ahead, Deppie.

Hey, Sheriff. Um, I think we found something.

Are you shitting me?

Yes, I'm for real. The wasp is real.

I saw it on someone's camera.

Well, video?

Well, where the hell is it now?

I don't know where the wasp is, and I don't know where the people are that

the camera either. Honestly, there's nothing even really around.

Well, I'll tell you, I just got off the phone with the military, and apparently

they're sending some helicopters.

Helicopters? Yeah, so y 'all...

Y 'all keep your heads down.

Really?

The military should be along, you know, pretty soon. They're heading your

direction.

Oh! Oh my god, Sheriff, I hear the helicopters now. We gotta go. I gotta

Yeah, y 'all stay clear now.

That's a 10 -4.

Fucking giant wasps.

Good piss?

Uh -huh. Yeah, helicopters.

I hear them. Why are they here?

I don't know.

But we gotta go. We gotta figure it out. Okay.

Hi, this is Maria, once again reporting to you from Tabloid World News.

There have been multiple...

Multiple reporting by locals of the giant wasp that is still apparently on

loose and killing everyone.

If you don't believe us, then take it from a local about her sighting of the

monster. Hey there.

Let me tell you what I saw today.

So there I was.

I was out there and then there was over yonder.

i was just out there walking and drinking my beer well i guess i had

too many beers and i had to take a big piss you know

so i found me a big old bush and i dropped my drawers

you know and there i was having a leak and then when i get done

you know i needed to wipe so i reached over yonder

and because i see me a big leaf i reached for it you know and i looked up

and there it was the biggest ugliest thing you ever seen

other than my 5x so you know what i did

i grabbed my drawer i yanked them up

And my ass was running.

And when I say running, I mean my ass was running.

What the fuck? That's the same woman from before.

Well, after listening to that shit, I need a beer.

This is Maria, and just remember that if it's completely unbelievable, you'll

hear it from us first.

Oh, and...

By the way, the U .S. government is sending in the helicopters to wipe out

wasps.

I gotta call my sister. I gotta see if she's okay.

Okay.

I should definitely take that trash out.

Hello, Stephanie?

What's up?

Yeah, the wasp is real.

I know that already, sister. I saw it on Facebook.

Yes, and it might be headed your way.

Oh my gosh, really?

Wow, um, I'll keep an eye out. Okay, well, we're about to head out now and

what's going on. We're gonna take this thing down.

Alright, well, you have fun with that.

Alright, you need to stay on the lookout, though. Don't go outside and

anything stupid, okay?

Oh, no worries. Sure thing.

Yeah, okay, I love you too. Bye.

Okay.

Forget this.

I'm going to have my sister do it.

I should take the crash out.

I still have so much to do.

I think I'll put on some music to help.

It's so hot in here.

I need a little help.

Let's call your name, your life, your number Let's call your name, your life,

your fever Let's call your name

What the hell was that?

I hurt my

foot on that bed.

What in the hell was she

talking about?

We have to go check on my sister now. Okay.

I don't see anything.

I don't either.

Where's your sister?

I don't know. I didn't see her when we walked in. And I don't see her in here.

No.

Let's go check outside.

Okay.

Y 'all hear anything?

Why do I even bother?

It's crazy.

It's almost like they're asking something.

I hear y 'all talking.

Keep your eyes peeled. You got it.

I know you're in here somewhere.

There he is, right there!

Let's get him! I got your ass now!

Get him!

Hold it right there, you ugly motherfucker!

You killed my sister, and now you're gonna pay!

You've been warned.

Shut him up, rookie!

You got it!

I think we got him.

I think we got him.

That's right.

We warned you.

You were warned.

Hell yeah!

Alright, we should call the sh - Oh my god!

Giant wasp that is still apparently on the loose and killing everyone.

What? That's bullshit.

Boy, they'll say anything for a rating.

Well, wasp or no wasp, I gotta get this pool cleaned.

Jane, oh Jane, where you at?

Hey, Jack.

Hey, I'm going to get started cleaning this pool.

Make sure you clean it good this time, April.

I will, Jane.

Hey, where's Sean?

This badass is in the crapper again.

All the tacos he's been eating.

Let me tell you, he stunk up this room so bad last night.

Hey, I can hear you, Jane.

I hope you can, you nasty bastard.

Well, I'm out of here. I'll be outside if you need anything.

Sure thing.

Would you hurry up? I need in here before I go ride my Harley.

I got something you can ride.

No. I like something more big and powerful, you know, between my legs.

I just think Marvin and you wouldn't feel it.

Fuck you.

What a good day to clean the pool.

Oh, damn.

Looks like it's going to need a lot more cleaning than what I thought.

When I uncover it.

Well, I guess I'll go to the garage and see if I can find the pole.

What is that sound?

Oh well.

Oh my God, I guess the news was right for once.

Got to warn Jane about this.

There's got to be something I can do to get the hell out of here.

I guess the thing's gone.

I've got to go tell Jane about this.

I've got to get back and warn Jane about this.

Maybe we should go check it out?

I guess you're right.

It might be April out there fucking something up again.

Sounds like her.

I don't know what color that thing is.

I don't know, but I want to know where April is. She's supposed to have been

cleaning the pool area.

Who the hell knows?

What is that?

It looks like a giant wasp.

It doesn't get that big.

See, it's getting closer.

Oh, shit, you were right.

Told you so!

Maybe if that ass better run. Fuck you, John!

What the

hell am I gonna do?

Well here we go again.

You missed asshole.

I got something for you.

Come get some of this!

Damn it, I'm out of bullets!

Alexia Miller Juan

Montoya

Jacques

Torres Marshall

Harris

Pooh -poh -dah.

Jesus.

Sheriff's Department.

What? Yes, this is Dr.

Ward. I'm an apiarist.

Hello, Doctor. What can I do for you?

I'm sorry, you're a what?

Well, I'm an apiarist, or a more technical term is a melatologist.

Oh, okay.

I see. I don't have any idea what either one of those things are.

Well, an apiarist or a melatologist is someone who studies bees and bee

biology.

Okay, you could have opened with that.

What can I do for you, Doc?

Well, I saw on the news that there is a giant wasp loose.

Yeah, yeah, you could say that.

Well, I can help with that.

Really now?

And how could you help?

with a waspzilla is what they're calling them well i do have a lot of experience

dealing with killer bees you don't say yeah sir well mainly i've dealt with

murder hornet okay really that's simple huh well i'll tell you there really

wasn't that much to them Well, now, how'd that work with the murder hornets?

not at all. I mean, it was more of a joke to everyone. I mean, about how bad

ineffective they were.

Yeah. Yeah, I reckon it does.

Well, I know that Watchzilla is bigger and better in every possible way

than the murder hornets.

But, to be honest, the way to kill Watchzilla is just to shoot a stinger

Okay, Doc. Well, thanks for everything. Thanks for your help. Appreciate your

advice. Thanks for calling. Bye -bye now. Bye.

Deputy.

Deputy.

Wake up.

Where's the monster? The monster's gone.

Fuck.

The sheriff is not going to be happy about this.

Speaking of, it's not going to be good.

Come on, Debbie. Answer the phone.

Hello, Sheriff.

What's the report on the Wasp?

Sheriff, we lost it.

The hell you mean you lost him?

It just happened. We just lost it. It's really not good.

Well, the military's sending in tanks now.

Tanks? Yeah, tanks.

So...

Get ready.

I don't know.

10 -4.

God.

All right.

All right.

Fucking tanks.

I'm not going to end well. I don't think so either.

Oh, God.

What? What is it?

Look.

Oh.

Oh, my God. That's absolutely disgusting.

Ugh.

Ugh. What?

Do you hear that?

What?

Do you hear that? That ringing.

Maybe we should follow it.

That's such a good idea.

I like coming over.

Hey.

i heard that there was a big ass wasp out here so i'm here to find it let's

here

Uh -uh. What is that noise?

Oh.

Oh, my God.

That lobster's claimed another.

We're seriously in over our heads.

Hello, this is Maria reporting to you once again from Tabloid World News.

have been even more multiple sightings of the giant wasp that we are now

Waspvilla.

Stay the hell out of the area. This town is full of morons. And if you don't

believe me, here's another jackass.

Hey there, folks.

It's me again.

Y 'all won't believe what happened to me this time.

You know me, a working girl, right?

Well, I was out in them there woods earlier with this guy.

He paid me a twenty for a quickie.

So there I was, on all fours, having to act like I enjoyed it.

Cause you know what?

He's just not that big.

But that's just between you and me. You hear?

And there he was though.

He was just a -banging away.

And then I heard it. That loud sound.

So I looked up over yonder.

And there it was.

That big old monster again.

Cause I tell you what.

He must have a thing for me.

Because that's like the third time I be seeing him.

But that guy, he just got his ass up and ran out of here.

Left me on all fours with my ass up in the air.

So I just got up and I ran my own ass out of there.

For fuck's sake, that's the same woman.

You couldn't find anyone else to interview for a third time?

For the life of me, I can't understand. My God, just... You know what?

I'm done.

I'm done.

This is Maria with Tabloid World News.

And if you think it's unbelievable and or just fucking stupid,

you'll hear it from us first.

Where the hell have y 'all been?

Oh, my God.

It's... It's... Damn, Deputy, spit it out. It's Wasilla.

Holy shit.

No shit.

You don't say. I do say.

What are we going to do, Sarah?

I got some left. Oh, my God.

Killed Waspzilla.

He did do it.

Oh, shit. He don't look that mean.

The hell he doesn't? He's fucking mean, dude.

Help me, Deputy!

I said help me, not shoot me!

Yeah? Well, help yourself then. Stop, motherfucker!

Fine!

Got an idea.

Grab a stick.

Okay. Um, yeah. Let's go. Come on, rookie.

You're about as useful as the sheriff.

Hey, I can hear you.

Damn, let you do all the dirty work, design your own damn uniform. That's how

you treat me.

Good job, girls.

Team Sheriff's Office. Good job. Good girl. Good girl.

All right. Let's get this monster in the ground.

Yeah. You grab one wing.

I'll grab the other. Sounds good. Y 'all go do the thing.

Okay.

Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. It's moving.

It's moving.

Oh, shit.

Oh, shit. It's moving. Oh, shit.

The sheriff is gone.

What do you mean he's gone?

I mean he's dead.

Oh my god, how?

Zilla is how. He exploded.

You're the sheriff now. What?

I'm not ready for that.

Well, you're next in line, so you're the sheriff now.

Yes, deputy.

Listen, I called to tell you that the military is sending a strike force.

Get out of the area right now. Strike force?

Yeah, get out of there now.

Alright, understood.

Let us know if there's anything else you need from us. We'll let you know.

Right now, nothing, though, honestly. We're going to head out.

Let's get out of here, rookie.

All right. This is Eagle One.

All fighters report in.

Eagle Two standing by.

Eagle Three, stand by.

Eagle 4 standing by.

Get in formation, Eagles. Our target is dead ahead.

I copy, Eagle 4.

I'm in position. I'm going to cut across the target and open fire.

And maybe this Waspzilla will follow us.

Look at the size of that monster.

Stay focused, Eagle 3.

Oh, shit!

This is not good!

He'll get the monster.

Stay focused and accelerate to attack speed.

Lock and load.

It's time to rock and roll.

Shit, it's a force field. Pull up, pull up.

Watch it, Eagle 2. Watch what Zilla is right behind you. I can't shake it.

I'm coming to you, Eagle 2.

Where are you at, Eagle 3?

I see what Zilla now.

Good shot, Eagle 3.

But Waspzilla is not dead yet.

I don't see anything.

Check your visual scanning.

I still don't see anything.

Coming in behind you, Eagle 2.

Above you, to the left.

I see him.

I'm down, Eagle 2.

I've been hit.

God, yes! That's my dad!

Oh my god!

He's going to get him for sure. I know it.

He's all that's left.

Oh, God. Come on, Daddy. You've got this. You can do it. Come on. Take him

Basic maneuvers. Basic maneuvers. All right, Waspzilla's coming toward us.

fire. Now. Now.

Eagle 3, circle around and... Fire from behind.

On your mark.

Watch yourself.

Injecting E3.

Looks like I'm going to have to...

No!

Wasilla's gone!

That was my dad!

Oh shit!

You son of a bitch!

I've got an idea.

I've got an idea. Follow me. Let's go. Come on.

No more girly shit.

Time to Rambo up on this motherfucker.

I like the sound of that. Hell yeah. Let's see if this monster likes what

got for him.

Hasta la vista, baby.