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1
00:00:03,003 --> 00:00:04,569
WOMAN:
Does that tickle?WOMAN 2: Oh, yeah. Oh-ho-ho...
2
00:00:04,656 --> 00:00:06,963
Oh, my God. Oh, my God![moaning]: Oh... oh, my God.
3
00:00:07,050 --> 00:00:09,792
Oh...Oh, my God, Jenny!
Oh, my God.
4
00:00:09,879 --> 00:00:11,098
Yeah. Oh...Oh, my God.
5
00:00:11,185 --> 00:00:13,796
Oh, my God.
6
00:00:13,883 --> 00:00:15,841
Oh, Jenny!
Give it to me.
7
00:00:15,928 --> 00:00:17,582
Give it to me,
Jenny.
8
00:00:17,669 --> 00:00:19,628
Just give it to her
already.
9
00:00:19,715 --> 00:00:22,109
[women continue
exclaiming, moaning]
10
00:00:25,677 --> 00:00:26,765
Hey.
11
00:00:26,852 --> 00:00:28,332
Hey. Couldn't sleep, either?
12
00:00:28,419 --> 00:00:31,248
No. Jenny and her friend
are crazy in there.
13
00:00:31,335 --> 00:00:33,859
Have you ever made
a woman scream like that?
14
00:00:33,946 --> 00:00:34,947
Once.
15
00:00:35,035 --> 00:00:36,123
I hit her with my car.
16
00:00:36,210 --> 00:00:38,603
It sounded like Jenny hit her
17
00:00:38,690 --> 00:00:40,953
and then backed over her again.
18
00:00:41,041 --> 00:00:43,608
And then hit her,
19
00:00:43,695 --> 00:00:45,784
a-and then...
backed over her again.
20
00:00:47,351 --> 00:00:49,136
And then hit her...
21
00:00:49,223 --> 00:00:51,051
and then backed over her again.
22
00:00:51,138 --> 00:00:54,358
I counted eight orgasms,
not including mine.
23
00:00:54,445 --> 00:00:56,273
Hey, that's my niece.Oh, yeah,
24
00:00:56,360 --> 00:00:58,710
and out of respect to you,
I only listened to her friend.
25
00:00:58,797 --> 00:01:01,931
Yeah, me, too.
26
00:01:02,018 --> 00:01:04,064
Hey, how about
this weekend wego out
27
00:01:04,151 --> 00:01:06,022
and find some women
and make 'em scream?
28
00:01:07,067 --> 00:01:08,677
In-in your imagination,
29
00:01:08,764 --> 00:01:12,115
are they running away from you
or towards you?
30
00:01:12,202 --> 00:01:13,638
You know what I mean.
31
00:01:13,725 --> 00:01:15,075
Let's go out
and find some strange.
32
00:01:15,162 --> 00:01:19,035
I'm looking at some strange.
33
00:01:19,122 --> 00:01:21,037
Besides, I can't.
34
00:01:21,124 --> 00:01:22,604
My mom's got a charity dinner
this weekend.
35
00:01:22,691 --> 00:01:24,910
Oh, she's still trying
to help the monkeys?
36
00:01:24,997 --> 00:01:28,000
Yeah, she's raising money
to expand her sanctuary
37
00:01:28,088 --> 00:01:31,047
for helpless creatures
that nobody else wants.
38
00:01:31,134 --> 00:01:32,483
Kind of like what I do for you.
39
00:01:32,570 --> 00:01:35,399
Will there be any
single ladies there
40
00:01:35,486 --> 00:01:37,314
looking to use those
opposable thumbs?
41
00:01:37,401 --> 00:01:39,969
You know, swing on my vine,
peel my banana.
42
00:01:40,056 --> 00:01:41,449
Well, there might be a few there
43
00:01:41,536 --> 00:01:43,103
that want to throw
their poop at you.
44
00:01:43,190 --> 00:01:46,584
Mm, sounds like a good cause;
I'll buy a ticket.
45
00:01:46,671 --> 00:01:49,500
They're a thousand
dollars apiece.
46
00:01:49,587 --> 00:01:52,764
Can I borrow $998?
47
00:01:52,851 --> 00:01:53,591
Hey.
48
00:01:53,678 --> 00:01:55,724
Hey.
Hey.
49
00:01:58,161 --> 00:02:00,294
[whirring]
50
00:02:00,381 --> 00:02:01,773
That'll work.
51
00:02:02,861 --> 00:02:04,472
You know what they say:
52
00:02:04,559 --> 00:02:07,997
once you go
Black & Decker,
you never go back.
53
00:02:08,084 --> 00:02:10,956
♪ Men, men, men, men, manly men,
men, men ♪
54
00:02:11,043 --> 00:02:12,219
♪ Ah. ♪
♪ Men. ♪
♪ Men. ♪
55
00:02:22,359 --> 00:02:24,274
Hey! Look at you.
56
00:02:24,361 --> 00:02:26,146
Where are you going
in that monkey suit?
57
00:02:26,233 --> 00:02:27,756
A benefit.
58
00:02:27,843 --> 00:02:29,627
For monkeys.
59
00:02:31,281 --> 00:02:32,804
How do I look?
60
00:02:32,891 --> 00:02:35,067
Like you should be
on top of a cake.
61
00:02:35,155 --> 00:02:36,982
Let me guess: you're the cake.
62
00:02:37,069 --> 00:02:40,595
No, I'm the one that gets
to blow out the candle.
63
00:02:44,425 --> 00:02:47,471
Oh, when did we install
a mirror in here?
64
00:02:47,558 --> 00:02:49,169
[chuckles]
Tell the truth, Berta,
65
00:02:49,256 --> 00:02:50,779
you ever seen
two better-looking guys?
66
00:02:50,866 --> 00:02:52,302
No.
67
00:02:52,389 --> 00:02:52,694
Yes.
68
00:02:55,131 --> 00:02:58,134
[doorbell rings]Oh. That must be my date.
69
00:03:00,397 --> 00:03:01,529
Hi, honey.[laughs] You
look amazing.
70
00:03:01,616 --> 00:03:05,097
Oh, you look so handsome.
71
00:03:05,185 --> 00:03:06,490
Wow, nice job, Walden.
72
00:03:06,577 --> 00:03:08,057
Where'd you two meet?
73
00:03:08,144 --> 00:03:10,146
Kind of a "meet cute."
74
00:03:10,233 --> 00:03:11,887
I shot out of her.
75
00:03:11,974 --> 00:03:13,628
Jenny, this is
my mom, Robin.
76
00:03:13,715 --> 00:03:16,413
Mom, this is my new
roommate, Jenny.
77
00:03:16,500 --> 00:03:18,023
Oh, well, it's
a pleasure to meet you.
78
00:03:18,110 --> 00:03:19,590
[gasps]
Alan,
79
00:03:19,677 --> 00:03:21,201
does this mean
you finally moved out?
80
00:03:21,288 --> 00:03:22,985
[hearty laughter]
81
00:03:24,508 --> 00:03:25,901
No, no, no,
Jenny's my niece.
82
00:03:25,988 --> 00:03:27,337
She's staying
in Jake's room.
83
00:03:27,424 --> 00:03:31,385
Well, I have my charity,
you have yours.
84
00:03:31,472 --> 00:03:33,952
I can see where Walden
gets his pretty face.
85
00:03:34,039 --> 00:03:35,345
Aren't you sweet?
86
00:03:35,432 --> 00:03:36,216
He's single, you know.
87
00:03:36,303 --> 00:03:38,566
I know. Are you?
88
00:03:40,481 --> 00:03:42,352
Okay. All right, let's...
89
00:03:42,439 --> 00:03:45,442
go save some monkeys.
90
00:03:45,529 --> 00:03:47,009
[clears throat softly]
91
00:03:47,096 --> 00:03:48,358
Really?
92
00:03:48,445 --> 00:03:50,055
Hey, just 'cause
you came out of it
93
00:03:50,142 --> 00:03:51,579
doesn't mean
I don't want to get into it.
94
00:03:55,800 --> 00:03:59,326
[scoffs] They call
these martinis?
95
00:03:59,413 --> 00:04:02,154
The only thing they're saving
the monkeys from are DUI's.
96
00:04:02,242 --> 00:04:03,068
[laughing]
97
00:04:03,155 --> 00:04:04,983
You like that one?
98
00:04:05,070 --> 00:04:09,510
No, I was just picturing
a drunk monkey driving a car.
99
00:04:09,597 --> 00:04:12,295
Walden.Mm.
100
00:04:12,382 --> 00:04:14,166
Oh.
101
00:04:14,254 --> 00:04:16,125
That woman with your mom
looks just like Lynda Carter.
102
00:04:16,212 --> 00:04:17,735
[Alan laughs]
103
00:04:17,822 --> 00:04:19,824
That is Lynda Carter.
104
00:04:19,911 --> 00:04:21,261
Really?
105
00:04:21,348 --> 00:04:23,132
Wait, wait, T-TV's
Wonder Woman?
106
00:04:23,219 --> 00:04:25,308
The jewel of
Paradise Island?
107
00:04:25,395 --> 00:04:28,137
The-the shining crusader
for justice and star-
spangled hot pants?
108
00:04:28,224 --> 00:04:29,878
I-I just call her Lynda.
109
00:04:29,965 --> 00:04:33,708
And I just lost the cleaning
deposit on this tux.
110
00:04:33,795 --> 00:04:34,970
Walden.
111
00:04:35,057 --> 00:04:36,928
Lynda, you look amazing.
112
00:04:37,015 --> 00:04:38,756
Oh, my God.
The last time we saw each other,
113
00:04:38,843 --> 00:04:41,324
you barely came up to here.
114
00:04:41,411 --> 00:04:44,632
I remember those... days.
115
00:04:44,719 --> 00:04:46,895
[clearing throat]:
Introduce me.
116
00:04:46,982 --> 00:04:49,201
Robin, you told me
he was successful,
117
00:04:49,289 --> 00:04:51,595
but you didn't tell me
how gorgeous he is.
118
00:04:51,682 --> 00:04:54,119
Well, it takes
a gorgeous person
to know one.
119
00:04:54,206 --> 00:04:55,730
[laughs]
120
00:04:55,817 --> 00:04:57,645
[nervous laughing]:
No, it doesn't. I'm Alan.
121
00:04:57,732 --> 00:04:59,864
Hi.
122
00:04:59,951 --> 00:05:03,433
This is Alan Harper.
He lives with Walden.Oh, well, it's lovely
123
00:05:03,520 --> 00:05:05,217
to meet you.
124
00:05:05,305 --> 00:05:07,524
My gay fans have always been
my biggest supporters.
125
00:05:07,611 --> 00:05:09,700
Oh, oh, no, no, I-I'm not gay.
126
00:05:09,787 --> 00:05:13,313
Oh, I'm sorry.
Transgender?
127
00:05:13,400 --> 00:05:15,271
I told you the hormones
weren't working.
128
00:05:15,358 --> 00:05:16,751
[chuckles]
129
00:05:16,838 --> 00:05:18,709
He's kidding.
Uh, I-I am very straight.
130
00:05:18,796 --> 00:05:21,843
In fact, the longer I look
at you the straighter I become.
131
00:05:21,930 --> 00:05:24,802
Well, if you'll excuse us,
I'm gonna start a fund
132
00:05:24,889 --> 00:05:26,848
to, um, save Lynda
from this conversation.
133
00:05:26,935 --> 00:05:29,851
[giggles]
It's lovely to meet you.
134
00:05:29,938 --> 00:05:33,245
And it was "wonder-ful"
meeting you. [chuckles]
135
00:05:33,333 --> 00:05:35,900
That's funny. I've never
heard thatone before.
136
00:05:35,987 --> 00:05:37,641
Don't be a stranger.Okay.
137
00:05:37,728 --> 00:05:39,948
Call me.[chuckles]
138
00:05:41,863 --> 00:05:44,822
What the hell are you doing?
139
00:05:44,909 --> 00:05:49,349
Sorry, I just wanted to put
my mouth where her mouth was.
140
00:05:49,436 --> 00:05:51,655
And I also wanted to thank
you for a lovely evening.
141
00:05:56,660 --> 00:05:57,574
Morning.
142
00:05:57,661 --> 00:05:59,446
Mm. I got to tell you,
143
00:05:59,533 --> 00:06:02,013
you gave me a night
that I will never forget.
144
00:06:04,059 --> 00:06:06,844
Don't ever say that to me again.
145
00:06:06,931 --> 00:06:08,411
I'm serious.
Meeting Lynda Carter was
146
00:06:08,498 --> 00:06:09,847
one of the greatest moments
of my life.
147
00:06:09,934 --> 00:06:11,283
I mean, she was
my first celebrity crush.
148
00:06:11,371 --> 00:06:12,720
I had a poster of her
that looked like
149
00:06:12,807 --> 00:06:16,506
the bottom of a birdcage.
150
00:06:16,593 --> 00:06:19,814
On behalf of Lynda Carter
and the rest of humanity...
151
00:06:19,901 --> 00:06:22,686
yuck.
152
00:06:22,773 --> 00:06:25,080
You know, it's not just about
how beautiful she was.
153
00:06:25,167 --> 00:06:26,690
I mean, she's multitalented.
I mean, I had all of her albums,
154
00:06:26,777 --> 00:06:28,866
I-I-I've seen everything
she's ever done.
155
00:06:28,953 --> 00:06:31,216
How?
156
00:06:31,303 --> 00:06:32,827
Were you hiding outside
her house in a bush?
157
00:06:32,914 --> 00:06:34,916
[snorting laugh]
158
00:06:37,527 --> 00:06:40,400
Lynda Carter's bush.
159
00:06:42,358 --> 00:06:44,578
Hey, you know, she's single.
160
00:06:44,665 --> 00:06:45,317
And?
161
00:06:45,405 --> 00:06:47,494
And? [laughs]
162
00:06:47,581 --> 00:06:49,409
Set me up with her.
163
00:06:49,496 --> 00:06:52,673
Can't I just... get
you a new poster?
164
00:06:54,152 --> 00:06:56,024
I'll laminate it.
165
00:06:56,111 --> 00:06:58,287
Come on, come on.
166
00:06:58,374 --> 00:06:59,854
I-I-I have been in love with
Lynda Carter for my whole life,
167
00:06:59,941 --> 00:07:03,553
and because you know her
and I know you,
168
00:07:03,640 --> 00:07:05,207
I actually have a shot.
169
00:07:05,294 --> 00:07:06,600
I mean, this is fate.
170
00:07:06,687 --> 00:07:08,515
This is probably
why my brother died.
171
00:07:08,602 --> 00:07:10,778
You said fate
killed your brother
172
00:07:10,865 --> 00:07:12,867
so you could get
that espresso machine.
173
00:07:12,954 --> 00:07:13,868
Come on!
174
00:07:13,955 --> 00:07:16,305
I'll see what I can do.
175
00:07:16,392 --> 00:07:17,567
Really?
176
00:07:17,654 --> 00:07:19,134
Yeah. Just don't
get your hopes up.
177
00:07:19,221 --> 00:07:20,657
[scoffs]:
Oh, of course not.
178
00:07:20,744 --> 00:07:22,964
Thank you.
179
00:07:23,051 --> 00:07:26,663
[quietly]:
Ladies and gentlemen, please
welcome to the dance floor,
180
00:07:26,750 --> 00:07:29,449
for the first time
as man and wife...
181
00:07:29,536 --> 00:07:32,190
Mr. and Mrs. Lynda Carter.
182
00:07:38,936 --> 00:07:41,243
Okay, great.
All right, we'll see you soon.
183
00:07:42,287 --> 00:07:43,593
Hey.
184
00:07:44,681 --> 00:07:45,813
Was that her?
185
00:07:45,900 --> 00:07:47,292
Who?
186
00:07:47,379 --> 00:07:50,861
[high-pitched]:
♪ Wonder Woman! ♪
187
00:07:50,948 --> 00:07:54,038
♪ For your friend,
Alan Harper! ♪
188
00:07:54,125 --> 00:07:55,475
What are you doing?
189
00:07:55,562 --> 00:07:57,564
Oh, it's the Wonder Woman
theme song.
190
00:07:57,651 --> 00:07:59,522
[high-pitched]:
♪ Wonder Woman! ♪
191
00:07:59,609 --> 00:08:02,873
♪ You're a wonder,
Wonder Woman! ♪
192
00:08:02,960 --> 00:08:04,266
Not familiar.
193
00:08:04,353 --> 00:08:05,659
You should be, 'cause it's...
194
00:08:05,746 --> 00:08:07,922
♪ Kind of awesome! ♪
195
00:08:08,009 --> 00:08:11,142
I was ordering a pizza.
196
00:08:11,229 --> 00:08:13,275
I haven't had a chance
to talk to her yet.
197
00:08:13,362 --> 00:08:14,537
Why not?
198
00:08:14,624 --> 00:08:17,671
♪ Does your word mean nothin'? ♪
199
00:08:17,758 --> 00:08:20,500
You know what, uh,
to be perfectly honest, I...
200
00:08:20,587 --> 00:08:22,980
I don't know
if this is a good idea.
201
00:08:23,067 --> 00:08:24,634
What? Why?
202
00:08:24,721 --> 00:08:26,462
What-what's wrong with her?
Is she crazy?
203
00:08:26,549 --> 00:08:28,072
I like crazy. You met Lyndsey--
that bitch is cuckoo.
204
00:08:28,159 --> 00:08:32,512
No, there's-there's
nothing wrong with her.
205
00:08:32,599 --> 00:08:33,687
So what's the problem?
206
00:08:33,774 --> 00:08:35,863
She's... Lynda Carter.
207
00:08:35,950 --> 00:08:37,908
And?
208
00:08:37,995 --> 00:08:40,302
And you're...
209
00:08:40,389 --> 00:08:43,044
[high-pitched]:
♪ Alan Harper! ♪
210
00:08:45,176 --> 00:08:46,830
Oh.
211
00:08:46,917 --> 00:08:48,310
Oh, I get it.
212
00:08:48,397 --> 00:08:51,052
You don't think
I'm good enough for her.
213
00:08:51,139 --> 00:08:52,880
Oh, no, it's not that.
214
00:08:52,967 --> 00:08:54,664
No, no, no, no, no,
it's fine, it's fine.
215
00:08:54,751 --> 00:08:55,970
Just out of curiosity,
who amI good enough for?
216
00:08:56,057 --> 00:08:58,755
Lots of people.Well, name one.
217
00:08:58,842 --> 00:09:00,322
Okay, how about...
how about the-the...
218
00:09:00,409 --> 00:09:02,367
the barista at the coffee place.
219
00:09:02,454 --> 00:09:04,674
The hot blonde, Vanessa?Oh, God, no. No, I'm...
220
00:09:04,761 --> 00:09:06,197
I'm...
221
00:09:06,284 --> 00:09:07,590
I'm talking about the other one.
222
00:09:07,677 --> 00:09:09,200
The only other one is Miguel.
223
00:09:09,287 --> 00:09:13,422
No. No, Tracy.
The one with the brown hair.
224
00:09:13,509 --> 00:09:16,599
Coming out of her chin mole.
225
00:09:16,686 --> 00:09:18,514
Okay, then Miguel.
226
00:09:18,601 --> 00:09:21,169
[scoffs] I... I can't believe
you think so little of me.
227
00:09:21,256 --> 00:09:23,084
It's not that.Oh, you know what?
You know what?
228
00:09:23,171 --> 00:09:25,086
This is actually good.
I finally know where I stand
229
00:09:25,173 --> 00:09:26,130
with my "friend."
230
00:09:26,217 --> 00:09:27,610
Okay, Alan...
231
00:09:27,697 --> 00:09:29,917
And you were gonna
be our best man!
232
00:09:32,049 --> 00:09:35,575
Yeah, no, he's
not good enough for Miguel.
233
00:09:35,662 --> 00:09:35,966
♪ Men. ♪
234
00:09:41,668 --> 00:09:43,234
[Jenny clears throat]
235
00:09:43,321 --> 00:09:44,671
Hey.
236
00:09:44,758 --> 00:09:46,411
Hey. You're up early.
237
00:09:46,498 --> 00:09:48,413
[sighs]:
Yup. Crack of dawn.
238
00:09:48,500 --> 00:09:51,895
But, shh,
Dawn is still sleeping.
239
00:09:53,331 --> 00:09:54,724
Good morning.
240
00:09:54,811 --> 00:09:56,117
Good morning.
241
00:09:56,204 --> 00:09:57,858
Uh, hey, Jenny,
do you have any idea
242
00:09:57,945 --> 00:10:00,991
how to get tear stains
out of pillows?
243
00:10:01,078 --> 00:10:02,384
It's certainly not more tears,
because I tried that.
244
00:10:02,471 --> 00:10:04,560
Have you tried spraying
245
00:10:04,647 --> 00:10:06,562
some desperate
cry for attention on it?
246
00:10:08,825 --> 00:10:10,000
You want
some coffee?
247
00:10:10,087 --> 00:10:12,394
Why, yes, I would.
Oh, uh, Walden,
248
00:10:12,481 --> 00:10:13,700
is there some
uglier coffee
249
00:10:13,787 --> 00:10:16,050
that might be more
appropriate for me?
250
00:10:16,137 --> 00:10:18,182
All right.
Alan, you're being ridiculous.
251
00:10:18,269 --> 00:10:19,923
Hey, sticks and stones
may break my bones,
252
00:10:20,010 --> 00:10:21,359
but thanks to you,
I'll never bone Lynda Carter.
253
00:10:24,188 --> 00:10:27,539
Now, if you'll excuse me, I
will breakfast alone in my room.
254
00:10:27,627 --> 00:10:30,107
What's wrong with Auntie Alan?
255
00:10:30,194 --> 00:10:33,154
She's pouting 'cause I won't
set her up with Lynda Carter.
256
00:10:33,241 --> 00:10:35,417
Why not?Because, it's Lynda Carter.
257
00:10:35,504 --> 00:10:38,202
Right.
258
00:10:38,289 --> 00:10:39,464
And who's Lynda Carter?
259
00:10:39,551 --> 00:10:42,554
Lynda Carter is an actress.
260
00:10:42,642 --> 00:10:44,426
Oh. And she makes you
say her whole name?
261
00:10:44,513 --> 00:10:46,863
She doesn't make you,
262
00:10:46,950 --> 00:10:49,387
it's just something you do
when people reach icon status.
263
00:10:49,474 --> 00:10:51,999
So why won't you
set Alan up with her?
264
00:10:52,086 --> 00:10:53,348
She's out of his league.
265
00:10:53,435 --> 00:10:54,958
What league is she in?
266
00:10:55,045 --> 00:10:58,048
Well, among others,
the Justice League.
267
00:10:58,135 --> 00:11:00,660
All right, I have no idea
what you're talking about,
268
00:11:00,747 --> 00:11:02,923
so let me just
ask you a question.
269
00:11:03,010 --> 00:11:05,403
Is Alan good enough
to be your friend?Of course.
270
00:11:05,490 --> 00:11:08,493
So then why isn't he
good enough for her?Okay, that's not fair.
271
00:11:08,580 --> 00:11:11,322
There are a lot of women that
Alan is not good enough for.
272
00:11:11,409 --> 00:11:15,805
Don't you think she should
decide who she can go out with?
273
00:11:15,892 --> 00:11:18,678
Hmm. That's actually
a good point.
274
00:11:18,765 --> 00:11:20,418
Hang on, one second,
is this Lynda Carter?Uh-huh.
275
00:11:20,505 --> 00:11:23,508
Yeah, Alan's not
good enough for her.
276
00:11:27,817 --> 00:11:29,384
[sighs]
277
00:11:29,471 --> 00:11:30,646
Alan.
278
00:11:30,733 --> 00:11:31,995
ALAN: Yeah?
279
00:11:32,082 --> 00:11:33,736
Are you decent?
280
00:11:33,823 --> 00:11:36,696
Not by your standards.
281
00:11:36,783 --> 00:11:38,349
Okay, I'm coming in.
282
00:11:38,436 --> 00:11:41,178
What do you want?
283
00:11:41,265 --> 00:11:43,920
If it's self-esteem you're
after, there's none here.
284
00:11:44,007 --> 00:11:46,053
I was wrong.
285
00:11:46,140 --> 00:11:49,447
It is not my place to decide
who you can or cannot date.
286
00:11:49,534 --> 00:11:50,666
No, no, it's fine.
287
00:11:50,753 --> 00:11:52,059
Uh, actually, I'm making a list
288
00:11:52,146 --> 00:11:53,538
of the people
you shouldn't date.
289
00:11:53,625 --> 00:11:56,977
Uh, Number one:
Anyone with a heart.
290
00:11:57,064 --> 00:11:59,066
Okay, you know, I deserve that.
291
00:11:59,153 --> 00:12:01,416
And number two,
Taylor Swift, because she will
292
00:12:01,503 --> 00:12:05,202
write a song about you called
"Back-Stabbing Dream Killer."
293
00:12:05,289 --> 00:12:07,074
Okay, well, if you will let me,
294
00:12:07,161 --> 00:12:09,511
I would like
to make it up to you.
295
00:12:09,598 --> 00:12:13,428
I invited my mother and Lynda
over for dinner tomorrow night.
296
00:12:13,515 --> 00:12:16,474
So, you are free
to ask her out yourself.
297
00:12:16,561 --> 00:12:19,739
If you're joking,
I swear to God
298
00:12:19,826 --> 00:12:22,654
I will pack my things and you
will never see me again.
299
00:12:22,742 --> 00:12:24,352
I was joking.So was I.
300
00:12:24,439 --> 00:12:26,876
You're not just doing this
out of pity, are you?
301
00:12:26,963 --> 00:12:28,835
Don't answer, I don't care.
302
00:12:28,922 --> 00:12:29,879
You're a good friend.
303
00:12:29,966 --> 00:12:31,663
So are you.
304
00:12:31,751 --> 00:12:34,057
And, again, I'm sorry.
305
00:12:34,144 --> 00:12:35,667
Thank you.
306
00:12:35,755 --> 00:12:39,323
Okay. Oh, and,
and, a little tip:
307
00:12:39,410 --> 00:12:42,979
when Lynda's here, just try
not to act like a crazy fan.
308
00:12:43,066 --> 00:12:45,460
[chuckles] I got it.No, no, seriously, like, if,
if you want a shot with her
309
00:12:45,547 --> 00:12:48,506
you need to treat
her like she's
a normal person.
310
00:12:48,593 --> 00:12:51,248
And, and you should
pretend to be one, yourself.
311
00:12:51,335 --> 00:12:52,772
It's not a problem.
[laughs]
312
00:12:55,644 --> 00:12:59,561
Until tomorrow.
313
00:13:01,606 --> 00:13:03,565
All right,
I'm out of here.
314
00:13:03,652 --> 00:13:07,264
Dinner's in the oven
and the wine's chilling.
315
00:13:07,351 --> 00:13:08,744
Oh, thank you.
316
00:13:08,831 --> 00:13:10,137
No, I was talking about
at my house.
317
00:13:10,224 --> 00:13:12,443
Oh, oh, uh, uh,
before you go, um,
318
00:13:12,530 --> 00:13:15,577
uh, uh, which is my good side?What?
319
00:13:15,664 --> 00:13:17,666
I'm trying to figure out
where to sit at dinner.
320
00:13:17,753 --> 00:13:19,537
I-I want my good side
facing Lynda.
321
00:13:19,624 --> 00:13:21,235
All right.
322
00:13:21,322 --> 00:13:22,714
Turn to your left.
323
00:13:22,802 --> 00:13:23,846
Okay.
324
00:13:23,933 --> 00:13:25,152
Now turn to your right.
325
00:13:25,239 --> 00:13:26,849
Okay.
326
00:13:26,936 --> 00:13:29,243
Turn around.
327
00:13:29,330 --> 00:13:33,073
Perfect.
328
00:13:33,160 --> 00:13:35,292
Who hurt you, Berta?
329
00:13:35,379 --> 00:13:36,685
[doorbell rings]
330
00:13:36,772 --> 00:13:38,208
Oh, uh...
331
00:13:40,515 --> 00:13:43,605
Ooh, uh, just in case.
332
00:13:47,130 --> 00:13:48,740
Oh, God, it burns!
333
00:13:51,352 --> 00:13:54,137
What did I say about
acting like a normal person?
334
00:13:54,224 --> 00:13:58,185
That was before I got mint spray
in Little Alan's eye.
335
00:13:58,272 --> 00:14:00,230
I'm not even gonna ask.
336
00:14:01,884 --> 00:14:03,494
Oh, hey, you two
look beautiful.
337
00:14:03,581 --> 00:14:06,715
Oh, it's great
to see you again, Walden.
338
00:14:06,802 --> 00:14:07,803
And don't forget about me.
[chuckles]
339
00:14:07,890 --> 00:14:11,720
Oh, don't worry, I haven't.
340
00:14:11,807 --> 00:14:15,419
Okay, you can let go now.
341
00:14:15,506 --> 00:14:16,594
Well, I'm glad
you two could make it.
342
00:14:16,681 --> 00:14:20,424
Wow, this is quite the place.
343
00:14:20,511 --> 00:14:21,643
BOTH:
Thank you.
344
00:14:21,730 --> 00:14:24,298
Single guy living at the beach,
345
00:14:24,385 --> 00:14:26,343
you must do well
with the ladies.
346
00:14:26,430 --> 00:14:30,521
I do okay, but this guy
is the real charmer.
347
00:14:30,608 --> 00:14:34,656
Blink twice if you're
being held against your will.
348
00:14:34,743 --> 00:14:36,919
Well, it's,
it's true, in my youth
349
00:14:37,006 --> 00:14:39,139
I was a bit of a,
a rapscallion.
350
00:14:39,226 --> 00:14:39,748
[nervous chuckle]
351
00:14:39,835 --> 00:14:41,576
A rake.
352
00:14:41,663 --> 00:14:43,708
A... gadabout.
353
00:14:43,795 --> 00:14:46,233
WALDEN:
A... g-gadabout?
354
00:14:46,320 --> 00:14:48,148
What have you.
355
00:14:48,235 --> 00:14:50,890
Yeah, but that was
in your past, right?
356
00:14:50,977 --> 00:14:53,936
And now you're just a
normal, regular guy?
357
00:14:54,023 --> 00:14:55,198
Yeah, that's right,
that's right.
358
00:14:55,285 --> 00:14:58,375
I'm just a,
a normal, regular guy
359
00:14:58,462 --> 00:15:02,075
looking for a crazy
little thing called love.
360
00:15:02,162 --> 00:15:04,599
LYNDA CARTER:
♪ Crazy little thing
called love... ♪
361
00:15:04,686 --> 00:15:08,559
What's that I hear?
362
00:15:08,646 --> 00:15:12,781
Is that the lovely voice of
triple-threat Lynda Carter?
363
00:15:12,868 --> 00:15:16,263
Actress, singer, dancer?
364
00:15:16,350 --> 00:15:19,005
Wait a second,
do I smell mint?
365
00:15:22,356 --> 00:15:25,620
Yes, and it's not
coming from my mouth.
366
00:15:31,321 --> 00:15:32,932
Oh ,uh, uh,
would you mind signing it
367
00:15:33,019 --> 00:15:35,847
"From a Wonder Woman
to a Super Man"?
368
00:15:38,415 --> 00:15:41,114
How about "best wishes"?That works. [chuckles]
369
00:15:41,201 --> 00:15:42,637
Hey, you know,
I'll, I'll bet you could
370
00:15:42,724 --> 00:15:44,160
make a lot of money
traveling around
371
00:15:44,247 --> 00:15:45,292
and signing
at conventions and stuff.
372
00:15:45,379 --> 00:15:46,946
I'm not a big fan of travel.
373
00:15:47,033 --> 00:15:49,905
Yeah, not to mention
the weirdos you'd meet.
374
00:15:49,992 --> 00:15:52,212
Ugh. You don't
have to tell me,
375
00:15:52,299 --> 00:15:54,344
I mean, I-I've talked
to a lot of them
376
00:15:54,431 --> 00:15:57,869
on the Wonder Woman
message boards. Freaks!
377
00:15:59,349 --> 00:16:01,047
Alan?Hmm?
378
00:16:01,134 --> 00:16:02,744
I'm pretty sure Lynda didn't
come here just to sign things.
379
00:16:02,831 --> 00:16:04,876
Oh, of course, of course.
Sorry, I just, you know,
380
00:16:04,964 --> 00:16:07,140
I, I geeked out a bit.
[chuckles]
381
00:16:07,227 --> 00:16:09,142
Oh, that's okay.
You can't imagine how often
382
00:16:09,229 --> 00:16:11,796
I get roped into these kinds
of conversations.
383
00:16:11,883 --> 00:16:13,668
Roped? Or...
384
00:16:13,755 --> 00:16:16,627
...lassoed?
385
00:16:16,714 --> 00:16:19,935
Oh, God. He's gonna tie her up
and throw her in a van.
386
00:16:20,022 --> 00:16:23,417
No, no. This is an original
Wonder Woman Lasso of Truth.
387
00:16:23,504 --> 00:16:25,723
I-I got it at Comic Con '88.
388
00:16:25,810 --> 00:16:27,987
Yeah, back when only
the really cool people went.
389
00:16:30,337 --> 00:16:32,600
Whoever is wearing the lasso
must tell the truth.
390
00:16:32,687 --> 00:16:34,602
[giggles] Is this
the best night of my life?
391
00:16:34,689 --> 00:16:36,952
It is.
392
00:16:38,693 --> 00:16:40,869
Are you completely oblivious
to social cues?
393
00:16:40,956 --> 00:16:42,610
You are.
394
00:16:42,697 --> 00:16:45,178
Oh, oh, would you mind
posing with it
395
00:16:45,265 --> 00:16:45,700
so I can snap a quick picture?
396
00:16:47,789 --> 00:16:49,225
Alan. [whispers]: Enough.Mm-hmm?
397
00:16:49,312 --> 00:16:53,403
No. It, it's okay.
Let's just take the picture.
398
00:16:53,490 --> 00:16:56,276
Oh great, great. Oh,
crud. The memory's full.
399
00:16:56,363 --> 00:16:58,017
Uh, uh, let me just
delete a few.
400
00:16:58,104 --> 00:17:01,324
Good-bye, Jake.
Good-bye, Jake.
401
00:17:01,411 --> 00:17:02,760
Oh, kitty, hang in there.
402
00:17:02,847 --> 00:17:04,980
Good-bye, Jake.
403
00:17:05,067 --> 00:17:07,330
Okay, would you like to...Yes!
404
00:17:10,377 --> 00:17:11,682
Hurry back.
405
00:17:11,769 --> 00:17:13,684
It's going well, isn't it?
406
00:17:13,771 --> 00:17:14,903
I have chimps smarter than you.
407
00:17:16,774 --> 00:17:19,908
I'm really sorry
about tonight.
408
00:17:19,995 --> 00:17:21,910
Oh, it's okay.
He's harmless.
409
00:17:21,997 --> 00:17:24,260
He isharmless, right?
410
00:17:24,347 --> 00:17:27,481
Yeah, he's harmless,
clueless, homeless.
411
00:17:27,568 --> 00:17:28,830
He's pretty much "less."
412
00:17:28,917 --> 00:17:30,875
[laughs] Still,
I'm glad I came over.
413
00:17:30,962 --> 00:17:33,400
It's really good
to see you again.
414
00:17:33,487 --> 00:17:34,879
Yeah, it's good
to see you, too.
And you look amazing.
415
00:17:34,966 --> 00:17:38,492
Or, should I say,
"wonder-ful."
416
00:17:38,579 --> 00:17:41,625
See? When you do it,
it's cute.[chuckles]
417
00:17:41,712 --> 00:17:42,670
Oh, uh, Jenny,
418
00:17:42,757 --> 00:17:43,714
this is Lynda Car...
419
00:17:43,801 --> 00:17:47,805
Lynda freakin' Carter.
420
00:17:47,892 --> 00:17:49,546
Nice to meet you.
421
00:17:49,633 --> 00:17:51,200
Jenny is
Alan's niece.
422
00:17:51,287 --> 00:17:52,854
Ah, well, I won't
hold that against you.
423
00:17:52,941 --> 00:17:55,770
Beautiful andfunny.
424
00:17:55,857 --> 00:17:57,902
[chuckles]
Aren't you sweet.
425
00:17:57,989 --> 00:18:00,644
Oh, I can be way sweeter.
426
00:18:00,731 --> 00:18:02,385
Or less, if that's
what you're into.
427
00:18:02,472 --> 00:18:03,952
Hmm.
428
00:18:04,039 --> 00:18:05,867
You still like
wearing cuffs?
429
00:18:05,954 --> 00:18:10,263
Okay. All right, uh, Jenny,
isn't your bedroom that way?
430
00:18:10,350 --> 00:18:12,787
[whispers]:
What he said.
431
00:18:14,658 --> 00:18:18,575
See? I told you the
gays really like me.
432
00:18:18,662 --> 00:18:21,839
I'm sorry. I, I,
I actually, I do have to ask:
433
00:18:21,926 --> 00:18:24,364
does Alan have
a shot with you?
434
00:18:24,451 --> 00:18:25,974
ThatAlan?
435
00:18:26,061 --> 00:18:28,803
You do know I'm Lynda
freakin' Carter, right?
436
00:18:28,890 --> 00:18:32,720
Okay. Asked
and answered.
437
00:18:32,807 --> 00:18:34,809
It seems that everyone
in this house
wants to be with me
438
00:18:34,896 --> 00:18:36,680
except the one
that I want.[chuckles] Yeah.
439
00:18:36,767 --> 00:18:38,856
Wait, what?
440
00:18:40,641 --> 00:18:42,991
Okay, I made room for...
441
00:18:43,078 --> 00:18:44,906
Betrayal!
442
00:18:47,691 --> 00:18:49,693
♪ ♪
443
00:19:03,968 --> 00:19:06,232
Dude, seriously?
444
00:19:06,319 --> 00:19:08,451
No wonder you
brought her out here. Oh!
445
00:19:08,538 --> 00:19:12,107
God, I'm so angry I forgot to
emphasize the word "wonder."
446
00:19:12,194 --> 00:19:14,196
Alan, it's not what you think.Oh, really?
447
00:19:14,283 --> 00:19:15,980
'Cause I'm thinking you're
kissing Lynda Carter.
448
00:19:16,067 --> 00:19:17,765
What is going on?Oh, I'll tell you
what's going on.
449
00:19:17,852 --> 00:19:21,116
Your son, my ex-friend,
still roommate,
450
00:19:21,203 --> 00:19:22,770
just double-crossed me.
451
00:19:22,857 --> 00:19:25,599
Alan, you're
embarrassing yourself.Oh, am I?
452
00:19:25,686 --> 00:19:26,861
Okay, I'm not
gonna do this.
453
00:19:26,948 --> 00:19:27,992
Oh, aren't you?
454
00:19:28,079 --> 00:19:29,733
Okay, that's it.
455
00:19:29,820 --> 00:19:31,082
[shrieks][Alan screams]
456
00:19:31,170 --> 00:19:31,735
Oh, this is about
to really suck.
457
00:19:31,822 --> 00:19:34,173
[thuds]
458
00:19:42,485 --> 00:19:44,095
Morning. [sighs]
459
00:19:44,183 --> 00:19:45,749
Morning.
460
00:19:45,836 --> 00:19:48,796
[clucks tongue]
Listen, uh,
about last night...
461
00:19:48,883 --> 00:19:52,713
Let's just drop it.
462
00:19:52,800 --> 00:19:53,888
Fair enough.
463
00:20:02,070 --> 00:20:03,854
Again, I-I am
very sorry.
464
00:20:03,941 --> 00:20:06,901
I got it. Mo-Moving on.
465
00:20:10,731 --> 00:20:14,691
I know you would
never intentionally
try to hurt me.
466
00:20:14,778 --> 00:20:16,954
We're past it.
467
00:20:17,041 --> 00:20:21,263
Captioning sponsored by
CBS and WARNER BROS. TELEVISION
468
00:20:21,350 --> 00:20:25,659
and TOYOTA.
469
00:20:25,746 --> 00:20:27,356
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
Maccess.wgbh.org
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