Original subtitles

Okay, it's doggy time, baby.

Let's flip it.

It's okay, Doc. You can watch.

There's a lot to admire here.

Baby, put it back in.

- You want it back? - Yeah.

- You want it back… - So bad.

She wants it back, Doc.

I'll put it back in.

You know, I've always been more of like a…

like a grower than a shower.

But this is…

…this is ridiculous.

You really should be more careful.

Yeah? Why? We got some booty juice on the loose?

No. Clearly you weren't listening at the presentation.

Deeper, daddy.

The serum is alive living in your bloodstream, your bodily fluids.

Its pathogenic properties are what made it so effective.

Pathogen? Like a virus?

- Yes, that's exactly right. Precisely-- - Hey!

Hey, do not kill my vibe here.

Look, all I'm saying is that we don't exactly know how

such strong viral characteristics will behave

within such a short-term incubation window.

What? Are we talking like… the goddamn flu or something?

I'm saying there are unknowns.

There were no necessary trials, no study of transmission routes.

Those usually take months, years, and you were impatient.

It sounds like some lab coat worrywart bull…

…shit.

Hello.

It's nice to meet you.

Let me tell you about the greatest drug you ever could imagine.

No, fuck it.

Let me show you the greatest drug

you could ever imagine.

You okay in there?

Yeah, yes. I'll be right out.

I have to tell you, not killing me is the best decision you ever made.

I have uses for your talents.

But you keep fucking with my head, I will change my mind.

Clinical realities require difficult conversations.

Well, isn't that a ballsy approach…

…for a man in your position?

I was trying to help.

After your dosage, a period of observation was supposed to occur.

Adjustments would've been made accordingly.

Needless to say, you didn't seem that interested in much follow-up.

Follow-up?

Man, follow-up for what?

Side effects, uh, anomalies.

Contagiousness was near the top of my concerns,

and I'm guessing that's not good for you, is it?

What's that?

Honestly, my guess is you killed your friends.

No, they're my…

They weren't my friends.

Billionaires, we don't need friends.

We have staff and yacht buddies.

Apps. Stewardess.

You killed your friends that no one will miss because you recognize this.

The bioidentical serum has huge pharmaceutical potential,

and I'm alive to help you make

the biggest antiaging drug in the history of mankind.

A modern-day and extremely lucrative fountain of youth.

What did I just fucking tell you about playing fucking games with me?

I-I assure you this is no game.

You think you're brilliant,

and everyone around you tells you this every moment of every day.

I-I won't do that.

You are a caveman playing with fire now, and fire burns.

I oughta fucking…

So what? Every time I just sneeze,

this shit's just gonna scatter everywhere?

Not that kind of contagious. Uh…

Y-You're familiar with HIV, I assume.

This guy.

More anomalies may appear and adjustments can still be made.

Let me draw a vial and begin to get new data sets this week.

I'm sorry, have I given you the impression

that we have some sort of trust thing going on here?

I'm more than just an item of luxury. I…

I'm necessary.

Together we have unleashed something new.

I gave birth to the life that courses through your veins.

Let me continue to be its caretaker.

And by extension, you as well.

What about her?

So she's infected?

Is she just gonna change like I did?

And likely becomes contagious herself.

Starts to become a version of a street drug

if she copulates with someone else.

Caps your market value on the low side.

♪ The morning light is turning blue ♪

♪ The feeling is bizarre ♪

♪ The night is almost over I still don't know where you are ♪

♪ The shadows, yeah, they keep me Pretty like a movie star ♪

♪ Daylight makes me feel like Dracula ♪

♪ In the end, I hope it's you and me ♪

♪ In the darkness I would never leave you ♪

♪ Won't ever see me In the light of day ♪

♪ It's far too late The time has come ♪

♪ I'm on the verge of caving in I run back through the dark ♪

♪ Now I'm Mr. Charisma Fuckin' Pablo Escobar ♪

♪ My friends are saying Shut up, Kevin, just get in the car ♪

♪ I just wanna be right where you are ♪

♪ In the end, I hope it's you and me ♪

♪ In the darkness, I would never leave ♪

♪ We both saw this moment Comin' from afar ♪

♪ Now here we are ♪

♪ Run from the sun like Dracula ♪

♪ Isn't the view spectacular? ♪

♪ But, please, do you think about What it might mean ♪

♪ 'Cause I dream about you In my sleep ♪

♪ That you ever love someone like me ♪

♪ Like me ♪

♪ In the end, I hope it's you and me ♪

♪ In the darkness I would never leave ♪

♪ We both saw this moment Comin' from afar ♪

♪ Now here we are ♪

♪ So run from the sun like Dracula ♪

♪ Run from the sun like Dracula ♪

♪ Isn't the view spectacular? ♪

♪ Run from the sun like Dracula ♪

♪ Isn't the view spectacular? ♪

I want to fuck you.

Who in God's name are you?

Oh, darling, have you finally lost that last lonely marble

in that dusty head of yours?

Jefferson. Jefferson.

How could you not recognize your dearly beloved husband?

Oh, Byron, I know you can hear me. What kind of a joke is that?

That's so stupid. That's bullshit.

A joke.

The only joke here is that someone as good-looking as me

could still be married to you.

Get out. Get out.

That's exactly what you said to me on our honeymoon.

I was drugged.

No. Accidentally.

That mystery bag of pills that you carry around to keep you upright

was so disorganized,

I confused the good-time Molly for the sad-time laxatives.

Magical Balinese sunset strapped to a toilet.

Well, you finally shed that bulging shit belly, so you're welcome.

Ah.

Yeah, ironic, isn't it?

I spent a lifetime toying with getting rid of it,

to have it be the only thing left of the old me,

- my beloved third nipple, Archibald. - Archibald.

How did this happen, you ask.

Well… [clears throat] …I told you I was onto something great,

and you mocked me.

But that's okay, because when you look this good,

you don't hold grudges anymore.

So, with my snazzy new outlook, I will make you a one-time offer.

I'll venture into that deli counter you've got in your pants

and give you the gift of mental and physical transformation

via my hot magic load.

Magic what?

My jizz.

I don't know how you did this.

But am I surprised, truly? No.

You want to amaze me, right?

Like you wanted me to gasp at your electric car,

at the spaceship to Venus and Mars,

and the peptides in Africa,

and a new robotic whatever.

I am not now nor have I ever been impressed with you.

So what? Now you look like a…

slightly aging Bruce Weber model.

And I say, go fuck yourself.

I'm not clapping for you.

You exhaust me.

You're the same dumpster with a fresh coat of paint, you clown boy.

Okay, well.

Your garbage genes

produced two garbage children.

And somebody's gonna have to hold their hands for the next 50 years,

and it ain't gonna be me.

- Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. - All right.

Can you imagine the mind fuck that the rest of the world's gonna have?

The physicality of a professional athlete,

the blood work of a 25-year-old.

A single shot,

one-size-fits-all cure-all for everything.

You're a fucking vampire.

A Nosferatu.

Yes.

And you think you can stroll back into society without anybody noticing?

Mmm. No, no. That's the point.

I'm the world's greatest goddamn advertisement

for the hottest new super drug that makes you effortlessly beautiful.

Perfect even, for eternity.

You don't have to diet.

You don't have to exercise.

Well, the FDA might have something to say about that.

- Yeah. - The FDA?

Please.

They're useless.

They're meaningless now. They're a-a phantom agency.

Once the public gets a whiff of this,

and they see what's possible,

you think some red tape mope

or stuffy senator on stroke medication is gonna get in the way of this?

Eli Lilly, Novo Nordisk.

Nobody's gonna give a shit about that kind of small potatoes.

Trillions, not billions.

Trillions.

This rapid refinement, followed by mass production,

aggressively priced but low enough to feel attainable by everyone.

There are gonna be so many… …maxed-out credit cards

and empty college funds when this shit hits the market.

I'll leave some room in my schedule

to visit you and your friends at The Hague.

No, no.

My blood,

and mine alone,

is the liquid gold here.

Let's just say we worked out an exclusive arrangement.

A bulletproof one.

Lack of real talent was always your biggest insecurity.

A monster who's just simply a shiny salesman

in a metaphorical cheap suit.

Let me tell you something, and I hope you'll listen to me very carefully.

Your mother is the only person that will ever remember you,

and that's because the pain you caused her when you were born.

That's how insignificant you are

because of the sheer lack of capability as a human

to contribute to society.

This ploy of yours, it doesn't make you immortal.

It doesn't save us. It ends us.

You're sad.

To turn down the chance

to be Eve to my Adam…

…create a whole new race, a whole new world.

You're mad.

I'm mad I didn't kill you years ago!

- Oh! - And that's true, babe.

I'm not going to be part of any of this.

But I might warn the world about what you're up to

wearing the most delightful Christian Lacroix

from the 1988 collection.

That is beauty.

How much longer?

Moments.

We have shocked and amplified the tissue sample

to replicate the life span of the…

- The what? - Well, I don't see much point

in calling the Beauty anything other than what it really is.

A fully formed mutating, self-replicating virus.

Whoa! Whoa!

- What the fuck was that? - The end of the Beauty's lifespan.

The latest data indicates that roughly 855 days after dosage…

infection with the Beauty, a type of catastrophic reaction occurs.

That looked like a fucking explosion.

Ignition ketosis, we call it.

You microscope-humping motherfucker.

You think you're so clever, don't you?

I told you there could be anomalies.

Anomalies? Sexual transmission is an anomaly.

That is a fucking bioweapon.

It doesn't have to be.

How am I supposed to sell this?

What about my life?

What happens to me in 855 days?

Jefferson!

Finish it.

Please. Wait, wait.

I can save you.

- I'll find somebody else for that. - There isn't enough time.

Even the most brilliant minds would take years to retrace my steps by then.

I-I… Fuck. I can manage it.

I can create stabilizers, boosters, treatments to prevent the ketosis.

You can sell those as well. I will find a cure, Mr. Forst.

I will perfect the formula.

You have no idea what you created, do you?

When Oppenheimer prepared to press the button at Trinity,

he knew there was a possibility,

however small, that unleashing that kind of power

would ignite the atmosphere and destroy the world.

He did what needed to be done.

Science must move forward.

Great things do not come without risk, cost.

W-We're both invested in improving upon your current state.

I told you to let me be your caretaker and I meant it.

You don't give a shit about me.

You just get off on fondling your little creation,

you fucking nerd.

I know it's been difficult to accept,

but you are my creation.

Oh.

I have 855 days.

That means you have 854.

Fix the bugs.

This is a business.

I need a product, and we go to market in six months.

- Mr. Forst, that's-- - You keep calling me that.

Mr. Forst.

Mr. Forst.

Do I look like Byron Forst to you?

You said it yourself, I am something new, an evolution.

I am superior.

So kneel.

Byron Forst is no more.

You kneel before God.

- Ready? - Hit it.

Sequence one finished.

Go sweetly into the mysterious void, friends.

This is the weirdest job I've ever had.

Seriously, don't you just wish we knew what the fuck we were working on?

Of course I do, but good luck getting behind the big scary door, bud.

In another bar fight?

Goddamn estrogen hitting me hard, finally.

- I'm sorry. - Well, that's okay.

A lot more changes gonna be coming soon, so ask away, Mikey.

Does it feel, like…

Weird? It sure does. Pretty big overhaul going on, you know.

Well, I got to say your tits are looking sweet.

Hey, Clara, you know, what you're doing, I-I…

I know it's… it's tough and people don't understand,

but I think this is really cool.

I mean, you're… you're going to be a woman soon.

I am a woman now, Mike.

- You know what I meant. - I do.

Like I just… I want you to know that…

- Forget it. - Tell me, come on.

I was just gonna say that…

like, what you're doing, I…

I think it's brave and I'm here for you. I have your back.

You're a great man and a great friend.

You really are.

The worst part is now… …all this in-between stuff.

Be honest. Do I have a single feminine feature?

No, don't start playing that game. You are gonna drive yourself insane.

Well, the barista at Starbucks this morning

handed me a coffee and said, "Here you go, dude."

- Kinda says it all. - Okay.

It's gonna take some time.

And I think there's, like, support groups and stuff.

You're the best support group I could ever have.

Oh, could you hand me the phosphorus reagent?

Okay, your turn.

How about you be honest with me.

You got no rizz.

- Hey, now. - Charisma.

I love you, Mike, but you don't.

I've been reconnecting with my kids after the divorce,

and they update me on all the new lingo.

So I mean, what did you do this weekend?

Actually, all kinds of fun stuff.

Now, hang on. I do have charisma.

You lack confidence.

Well, arrogant people suck.

No, no, no, confidence is different.

MIT grad, sweet, supportive. Everyone that gets to know you loves you.

You just have to act like it.

Sitting around being Mr. Alone Guy

and playing fantasy football isn't getting you anywhere.

And for heaven's sakes, no more Supercuts.

Okay, now I feel attacked. Honesty time over.

Look, I… I am tired, you know?

Tired of being alone and…

I just… I'd like to love someone and I'd like someone to love me.

Christ, am I that awful? Am I ugly or-or something?

I try to be nice. I mean, I try so hard,

but I guess it's just not enough in the world anymore.

Mike, look at me.

You dress for shit, but your heart is stunning.

One day your princess will come.

Keep trying. Put yourself out there.

You should just hurry up and transition already.

Then we can get married.

Not unless I change my name to Jen.

Ha. Yes, I noticed. You like her.

- I do like her. You can tell? - I can tell, and it's great.

Declaring your feelings is the first step in what could be a beautiful relationship.

Did I tell you what she said yesterday?

Hey, Mike.

Sweet sneaks.

What do you think that means?

Shit or get off the pot, dear Mikey.

Ask the girl out. Or move on.

You can do it.

Good morning, world changers.

Our productivity algorithm detects a dip in efficiency.

Please return to normal outputs.

Mikey, come sit.

How's things, my favorite keyboard warrior?

Oh, it's great. I mean,

you know, not as good as you and your furry friends over in testing.

My heart. I do love them. Probably too much.

Yeah, they're better than people. That's what I always say.

Right? Drives me up the fucking wall

every time I read about the cruelty these companies inflict.

- Yeah, totally. I mean, Blackfish? - Mmm.

Just makes me wanna barf.

Mmm, yeah. I really believe that we can have it both ways.

That we can make biotech breakthroughs that help humans

without torturing these poor creatures.

I'm sorry, this is turning into a TED Talk.

No, no, no, I'm into it.

I bet you know all the little secrets of this place, huh?

Can I trust you?

His name is Larry, and he's my sweet boy.

Oh.

Hello there, Larry.

He hasn't been doing so well lately,

but we're hoping to fix that.

You stay strong, Lar.

They let you take a picture in there?

Why? Are you a narc or something?

That little fella just needs a little Bills jersey

and he'll be good to go.

- Hmm. Big game this weekend. - Mmm.

I'm gonna grill up some of my famous buffalo wings.

I'll bring some in for ya.

- You know, crepes are awesome. - Huh?

There's a, um…

There's this is really cool new place over on 117.

Um…

Do you want to, like, go with… with me?

Oh, yeah, that'd be cool.

- Yeah? - My fiancé has a golf outing on Sunday.

We could go before kickoff or whatever.

- Fiancé? - Yeah.

Finally asked, like, six months ago.

Um…

I wear the ring on a necklace.

Goddamn birth control turns my fingers into sausages.

- Hurts like hell. - Hmm.

- Things we women do, you know. - Right.

Wait, Mikey, were you asking me on a date?

I mean, kind of. No. It…

Yeah.

Oh, Mikey, I love you, but you're my work buddy…

I know, I know. It was just a…

You know what?

Congratulations. I'm stoked for you. That's really, really exciting.

Oh.

- Right there. Just… - Oh.

Yeah. Right there.

Thank you.

Well…

Oh, bye.

What? No fucking way.

Yep, for six whole months.

Do you think she was bullshitting me?

Jen's a sweet girl, but honestly, that's some shady shit right there.

I have seen her flirt with you.

- So I'm not crazy, right? - Hell no.

She was leading you on.

Oh.

On behalf of all women, please accept my apology.

I'm proud of you.

It's hard putting yourself out there.

Please remain calm. This is a security advisory.

For your safety, lockdown measures initiated.

Please remain calm. This is a security advisory.

For your safety, lockdown measures initiated.

This is a security advisory.

For your safety, lockdown measures initiated.

Please remain calm.

This is a security advisory.

For your safety, lockdown measures initiated.

- I can't fuckin' take it anymore. - Are we all gonna die? Save us!

This is a security advisory.

Hey, Reggie, do we need to evac or what?

Back in your cube, Mike.

And do what exactly?

Look, it's a Zone 4 issue, okay?

We're in Zone 1. Therefore, not your concern or mine.

Don't act like you don't know the deal.

Zone 4, the… the animals?

Cube. Now.

Security advisory update: Lockdown measures ended.

Please return to your terminals and resume productivity.

Have a great day.

Finally, some peace.

Not if you keep screaming.

Hey, Jen.

Heard there was some drama in your zone. You… You okay?

Larry…

Shit, what happened?

I don't know. The lab coats gave him this stuff, this serum.

It was supposed to help him, make him stronger, healthier, and it did.

I've never seen such a startling transformation in any creature before.

Transformation?

He was a totally different chimp, Mike.

He turned into this perfect, straight-out-of-Nat-Geo-looking fella.

He had energy. His smile glowed, his fur was gorgeous.

His body was all filled out. He was a perfect muscle-bound specimen.

Then my sweet boy got so angry.

Oh, no!

Larry!

Larry, it's me.

It's okay.

- He turned on me. - Oh. Oh.

How could I let this happen?

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, you cannot possibly blame yourself.

He trusted me, Mike. There was a bond.

Of course there was, 'cause you are so good.

Ever since I was a kid, this is all I ever wanted.

Jane Goodall, Steve Irwin, those were my heroes.

Maybe we should go back to the med lab so those dorks can stitch you up.

If I go back in there, I'm torching everything in Zone 4.

Maybe don't do that.

I'm just another phony cog in the machine lying to myself

about noble causes to justify a fat paycheck.

You're being too hard on yourself.

Uh, Jen… …do you have…

Do you have any idea what it… what it was that they gave him to…

to give him those muscles?

I don't. Whatever's in cryo storage.

- Are you okay? - Yeah, I just feel like shit.

My skin's on fire.

That's probably just the adrenaline wearing off.

Yeah, nothing some Advil and a weed gummy won't fix.

- Okay. Night, Mikey. - Good night.

For real? Like some super-transformational serum?

So much so that once it hit his bloodstream, the chimp went apeshit.

Wow. But, like, how?

Fuck if I know.

I mean, once I heard "muscles," I was like, "Well, tell me more."

Seems a little too good to be true.

Everybody hates her. Don't sweat it.

Oh, God.

You okay?

These hormones, they're hitting me like a sledgehammer.

It's just…

I'm so tired and everything hurts and I'm tired of looking this way.

I'm tired of feeling this way.

- People are idiots. - I don't care about the idiots.

I care about the stupid fucking cock and balls

that I can feel every time I just take a step,

and I care about the hormones and the surgeries.

It doesn't matter. Whatever I do, I look in the mirror and I see a dude.

I've been misgendered three times today.

Goddamn it.

Fuck.

Listen.

Look, you're beautiful.

People get too hung up on looks. I think it's just Instagram bullshit.

It fucks with your head.

You just don't get it, Mike.

This is about who I am.

My whole life I've been searching for answers

and miracles that would make me whole,

and now maybe there is something just down the fucking hall.

And you're treating it like a goof.

Doesn't this even make you curious?

If you took something like this,

you would have a whole line of Jens a million long.

Stop thinking so small, Mike.

Think bigger, be bold.

14.6.

15.2.

16.4.

70.0…

Fuck it.

Yeah!

Hey.

I'm…

I'm… I'm Mike. I'm…

Hey, I'm Mike.

Oh! Ho-ho-ho!

Hey, Jen. Hey, Jen.

Ha.

Yeah, I mean, I work out now, so.

Jen, you wanna have some crepes?

S… Sure, sure, I'll have some crepes.

Yeah, would you wanna come over to my place?

Oh, sure, I'd love that.

- Clara. - Oh, my God, who's there? Don't hurt me.

It's okay. It's just me, Mike.

No. Doesn't sound like Mike.

Clara, please, you have to trust me, all right?

Don't worry, I look different, but I promise it's me, all right?

You were right, Clara.

I needed to be bold.

I took it.

That stuff from the lab and, uh…

And this is what it does.

It's really kind of a miracle, huh?

- How… - It's okay.

It fell off a truck.

It's for you.

Oh.

Hmm.

Okay.

Mike…

Mike?

Think I got rizz now?

Let's do it.

No, no, no, wait.

What if it gets confused?

What if it doesn't turn me into what I'm supposed to be?

- Clara… - No, no.

My hormones are all over the place.

There's estrogen, testosterone wrestling with each other.

I don't even know what's going on inside of me anymore.

- Okay-- - No, no, no, but I don't care.

I don't care.

I have to try.

I have to believe

that if I'm the woman I know I am, that's what I'll become.

Exactly.

For once in my life,

if I've been given the chance for the outside

to look like what I feel on the inside,

I have to take it.

- Be bold, right? - Yeah.

Hear my voice, all right?

I've got you. I'm right here.

Yes, you're gonna collapse from the fever.

You're gonna pray for death.

Then you'll begin to transform, all right?

Become a new you.

Your old form literally melts away.

I'm burning!

You're gonna pass out. You're gonna pass out, it's all right.

Is this a dream?

Did I die?

Actually, Clara, you're the dream now.

Kind of real, goddamn living dream girl that you've always wanted to be.

You deserve to be.

Go look.

Oh, my God.

It worked.

It really did work.

You deserve it.

Thank you. Thank you.

I want this one to hurt.

Yeah, because we always hurt the ones we love.

He stole my serum and my boosters.

And not the level 3, the tier 1-A.

It was reserved for me to distribute to my friends and myself.

He worked for you, he stole your formula, infected people.

You're pissed and horny. I get it.

I upped the nerve toxin, so he should wriggle a little more, foam at the mouth.

I got you.

Why can't people just leave life alone?

Is it greed or stupidity?

Beautiful people don't think the rules apply to them.