Original subtitles

Bri, can you hand me that packing tape?

Oh, I'm sorry to interrupt while you're standing there looking mad.

- Hey, I'll grab y'all some waters. - [Brian] Aw.

- Aw, thanks, Mom. - And isn't my baby girl sweet

for having me move in with her?

- I am a benevolent queen. - [kisses, chuckling]

- She takes after her mama! - That's right.

[chuckles]

Can't believe you tricked me into coming here.

Bri, you look so pretty. You're glowing.

Of course I'm glowing.

I put on my glowy sunscreen because you said we were going to the beach.

Okay, well, we're in Long Beach, that counts.

You know having my mom move in with me is really hard, all right?

- I need some support from my broskies. - I know.

[sighs] I know you're stressed out, but look at it this way,

at least you'll finally get good at having sex quietly.

- [chuckles] - I don't know how to take that.

- [Phyllis] Here ya go. - [Brian] Mrs. Evans,

- you're a churchgoing woman, right? - Yes.

If I tell you I'm a homosexual,

- may I be excused? - Huh?

- Nice try, bitch. - [exclaims] Language.

[gasps] Gabitha! I'm shocked.

And, baby, you gonna be in charge of my clothes.

- [both] Oh. - [Phyllis] All right.

Kind of a stereotype.

- Son of a bitch. - [chuckles]

What's with the shaky leg?

Or are you mocking me?

I'm just trying to get the courage to say something. [sighs]

Sounds juicy.

Well, let me know when you're ready to stop being a chickenshit.

[sighs] Okay.

[sighs] You once said that I could either let my grief drown me,

or I could come out the other side.

Yeah.

And I'm not fully out yet, but I can see the light.

I think I'm done with therapy. [chuckles]

And I know what you're gonna say.

[imitating Paul] "No one is ever done with therapy."

[normal] Because, yes, you sound like Batman.

I do that on purpose. It's called gravitas.

I'm just thinking it's time for me to start doing this on my own,

at least for a little while.

Are you mad?

No. [sighs]

In fact, I'm... [stammers] ...I'm deeply proud. [sighs]

And if you ever feel you need me, I'll be here for you.

I know.

And, Paul...

You're welcome.

[chuckles]

[inhales deeply]

What, you thought you were gonna get away with not paying for your last session?

Please.

[phone chimes]

- [grunts] The good stuff. - Mm-hmm.

Shit. [sighs]

[chuckles] Who died?

You don't get to make jokes like that around people of my age.

[chuckles]

[stammers]

[chuckles]

I'll never forget so many things about my husband.

And when Elliot loved you...

[sighs] ...you just never had to doubt it, even for a second. [chuckles]

And that's...

[inhales shakily] ...that's how I'll remember him. [sighs]

Thank you all for coming. [chuckles]

At least you two don't have to sneak around anymore.

- I was trying to lighten the mood. - [sighs]

When you're gonna do that at a funeral, it should be funny.

I thought that was pretty solid material, Paul.

Thank you for coming with me.

Oh, of course.

I wouldn't miss your, uh, boss's girlfriend's husband's funeral.

Mmm. Mmm. Mmm.

Can you believe how hot Julie looks in black?

- I want that white lady bad. - [chuckles] I'd watch that.

- Hey. - Jesus Christ.

At least those two don't have to sneak around anymore, right?

[both chuckling]

See that, Paul?

Paul. Funny.

- What's funny? [stammers] - I don't know.

[inhales deeply] Okay. [sighs]

Hope it's not weird, you know, us... us hanging out,

since I was the last guy who she was with.

- Oh, no. No, it doesn't bother me. - [breathes deeply]

It's okay if it does.

It doesn't, but thanks.

- Cool. - Cool.

- Cool, cool, cool. [chuckles] - Cool, c-cool, cool.

Really?

This is making me sad.

I get it.

- Hey, thanks for coming. You too, Brian. - Course.

Don't thank him. He skipped the service.

- He just came for the food. - [Julie] Ah.

- Jealous? - Yes.

Also, I wanna let you know since the house is already sold,

you can go ahead and put those funds into a trust

- for Elliot's daughter and grandkids. - Thank you.

I-I know that's what he would've wanted.

Whoa, you sold the house? Where are you gonna live now?

She's gonna crash with me for a couple days...

- [Julie sighs] - ...un... until she figures something out.

- Well, thanks again, pal. - [chuckles]

- Yeah. - [Julie] All right. [sighs]

- Whoa. - Wow.

She's gonna crash with you

- for a few days? - A few days?

- That's some cold-ass shit, Paul. - I am shaken to my core.

- That was, like, so disturbing. - Haunting.

What we're doing right now is working.

Don't forget I haven't lived with another human being for 30...

What are you doing? ...thirty years. What is that?

It's a big flapping pussy 'cause that's what you're being right now.

Flap, flap, flap, flappity, flap, flap, Paul.

That's also haunting.

- Oh, I bet. Check this out. - Don't... Don't bring it over to me.

- I don't want that. I don't want... - Hey. Hey.

We're at a funeral.

["Frightening Fishes" by Benjamin Gibbard playing]

When Alice turns 18, you will be an adult who has an adult.

How is this blowing your mind?

Your dad has an adult.

Holy shit.

You guys talking about my birthday? What are you getting me?

I'm baking you a cake.

Would you like chocolate or yellow?

Surprise me, but yellow.

[chuckles]

I know what you should get me.

- [groans] - Come on, Dad. It's just a car.

"Just a car." I love white family dynamics.

Look, I'm sorry, kid. My insurance would go through the roof.

Okay.

Well, it was worth a shot.

- Would you give it one more think? - Nope.

What if I paid for gas?

With what?

- It's egregious to me, honestly. - No, it's horrible.

Get Alice a fucking car.

I know how much you make, cheapo.

You're a narc, Sean!

[Sean] I'm fine with it.

All right, fembots, disengage.

I'm getting Alice a car.

I just told her no so I could surprise her.

[sucks teeth] Aw, that's sweet. Okay, I like you again.

- I haven't decided yet. - [Gaby] Mmm.

Her last birthday sucked. That's on me.

Yeah, when you knocked on my door, drunk,

asking if you could borrow a birthday cake?

- I remember what I did, Liz. - Do you?

Well, not all of it.

It's probably healthy for me to have some secrets from myself.

Look, she's always been obsessed with the yellow MINI Cooper

her mom had in college, so I'm looking for one of those.

I'm back on your team.

But when's the party?

She has her own plans, Liz.

She doesn't wanna celebrate her 18th birthday with her dad and his friends.

- Who cares what she wants? She owes us. - That shit is...

- It is not for her. It's for us. - No. We're getting one.

- We're getting one. - Okay.

- [Gaby] We getting one for damn sure. - Yeah. For damn sure.

For damn sure.

Okay.

- We gotta plan this party. - All right.

- Derek. Derek coming through. - Derek!

- Hey, Jorge. - Hey. Yeah, what can I get ya?

- Uh, sorry. [stammers] I'm Derek. - [stammers]

- I'll have the usual. - All right.

I'm just trying to decide if I want one or two.

Oh, get two, babe. You're my big, hungry guy.

- Really? - Yeah.

You heard the lady.

Relax, I'll go bring it to you.

- Okay. - [drumming on counter]

- Thank you. - [inhales sharply]

Hey, what the hell was that?

Not looking for input.

Hello. Not sure why he just got to cut the line.

Ah, excuse me, chunky necklace.

- Nobody asked you. - [gasps]

But thank you so much for policing the line.

You're doing such a great job.

Really. Really. A-plus.

- Wow. - [chuckles]

Whatever you want is on me.

All right, young lady. Let's get down to business.

Obviously, your upcoming birthday means a lot

- to both Liz and I-- - Liz and me.

We said we were gonna be on the same page today.

- Just say it properly. - All right.

Obviously, your upcoming birthday means a lot to Liz and me.

- Thank you. - [Gaby chuckles]

Uh, we just wanna start by saying that we love you.

- We're coming with an aggressive offer. - Yes we are.

Full sit-down dinner, cake and presents after, cocktail attire,

7:00 to 10:30.

I'm gonna counter with standing in the kitchen eating cake

in sweats,

no presents being opened,

- 4:30 to 4:35. - [Gaby] Hmm.

Well, that's bullshit.

- You calm down. - That's fucking bullshit.

I know it's bullshit. She playing right now.

We anticipated this.

I'm gonna hit you with a counteroffer.

One hour cake, smart casual, and you open Liz and my presents only.

Mention the pregaming.

We also want 20 minutes with you while you're getting ready.

You try on an outfit of our choosing while we give you advice on being a woman.

And you ask us to go out with you and your friends after,

but you have to act like you mean it

and be really disappointed when we politely decline.

Okay. [sighs]

Brief pregame, 45-minute party and we have a deal.

- What do you think? - I don't like it.

I don't like it either, but this is what we got.

- We're gonna make the deal. - Okay.

- We're gonna take your dumb-ass deal... - Yeah?

- ...but we're not happy about it. Yes. - No.

Okay, deal.

- Come on. - Deal.

All right, if I'm gonna party with the old people, I'm inviting Paul.

- Ugh. What? Ew. - [Liz] Yeah, but... What?

No, he's gonna harsh my buzz.

- Oh, stop, he's gonna be excited. - [chuckles]

- [phone chimes] - [sighs]

[sighs] Fuck.

[Paul] Can't wait. [sighs]

[clicks tongue]

Thanks for coming with me.

- I'm a terrible negotiator. [sighs] - [Derek] Yep. [sighs]

I'm very good at it.

Hey, Jimmy?

- Jimmy. Yeah. - Sofi.

- Hi, nice to meet you. - Hi.

Yeah, you too. Uh, feel free to take a look.

Okay. [sighs]

- What you got in here? A six? Eight? - [Sofi] Um.

Couple of V's? I know nothing about cars.

- Yeah. [chuckling] - Okay... [sighs] ...my time to shine.

They made a surplus of the 2004s.

This one's not exactly mint. [chuckles]

What do you want for it?

Well, I'm asking 5,000.

Sold.

Oh, I-I was just expecting, um, some more back-and-forth.

I was too.

I am gonna go get the paperwork.

Get on it. Hey.

What happened there, buddy?

No wedding ring, modest house, kid's bike in the yard.

You really want me to shake down

some nice, single, and, uh, by the way, very cute mom

just for a couple hundred bucks, Jimmy?

You spend that on lotion.

[clicking tongue]

[snorts] So, when you said that you were a good negotiator, you meant--

- Morally good. Yeah. - Right.

D-man out!

[sighs] Okay, so I know we focused on my anxiety last week,

but I can't remember if I told you how much I sweat when it gets bad.

And I have a job interview today, and I didn't bring a change of clothes.

You wanna get that job, we're gonna have to work on how you enter a room.

- Yes. - Oh, shit. Therapy with the door open?

- Girl, you are frazzled. - Oh. [chuckles, whispers] Oh, my God.

[door closes]

Ew, don't smell that.

And why are you still bringing your baby to therapy?

We love you. We think you're cute,

but it's harder to do the work when you're here. Yes, it is.

Normally I pay my aunt to watch him,

but she can't because she got drunk and fell off her Peloton.

And now her flank is, like, so inflamed, so you can't really blame her.

You absolutely can blame her.

What the hell are you gonna do now with your interview?

Oh, how I wish I knew someone

who didn't have a patient from 12:00 to 1:00.

Never in a million, billion years. No.

I don't get why so many white women adopt Black babies. This guy's fine.

- Let me get a hit of that shit. - Mmm. [grunts]

- Hi, baby boy. - Yeah.

- Oh, and you're so comfortable with him. - Hi.

You think that eventually, I'll be that comfortable?

- [chuckling] - No.

Hey.

- Hi. Meet your son. - [chuckles]

Uh, not buying it.

But if it's Jimmy's, tell him it doesn't bother me.

- [chuckles] - [Derrick chuckles]

[sighs] What is that? Is that a baby?

[scoffs] Obviously.

- [chuckles] - What are all you people doing here?

Yeah, I just came here to take Gaby to lunch.

And you called me and asked me to come here.

Be older.

[imitates baby] Are you really gonna be this mad when I'm this cute?

Get out of my office, you little bald fuck.

- [Gaby gasps] Jesus. - He's the worst.

You, give me a minute.

[both] Ooh.

What do you think they're talking about?

I don't know.

[Derrick sighs]

I'm very fond of Gaby.

What are your intentions?

Uh... [chuckles] ...what, are we in an old movie or something?

- [stammers] - [Paul] I'm serious.

Are you a good guy, or are you a bad guy?

- Uh, I-I think I'm a... a good guy. - [sighs]

You know, I love my family.

I pay taxes.

I recycle, like, even the batteries, which are, like, a bitch to get rid of.

You know what I'm saying? [chuckles]

Are you frozen? What... What's happening?

Okay, all jokes aside, I think Gaby is incredible and I feel like...

[inhales deeply] ...I've been waiting to meet her for a really long time.

- That's the answer I was looking for. - Oh, okay.

You can go back inside now.

All right.

Well, it was nice to meet...

well, meet and be threatened by you.

Gaby, lunch?

Uh, sorry, I can't.

I gotta watch my patient's baby, you know?

Classic Gaby.

[Liz] Um, Paul. You were quite rude.

I think you need to apologize to the baby.

My bad.

Okay, I, uh, finally found the spare key,

but I can't get this other one off the ring.

It might be a house key, so I'm just gonna have to trust you

not to come back, peel off my skin, and wear it as a coat.

- I will not. - [chuckles]

I can't speak for my daughter, though. This is her... her big birthday gift

and she hungers for blood, so...

An old, yellow MINI Cooper.

[chuckles] You and your wife must hate her.

[sighing] I'm gonna say something now that's gonna make you feel bad and...

and act weird so, I'm gonna ask you to try really hard not to.

- [sighs] - [chuckles]

My wife is dead.

Of course she is.

Cool. I mean not cool.

- My ex-husband is dead. - Really?

To me. [clicks tongue] That was bad.

I do that joke a lot, but I say it in a funnier way.

I go, um... [clicks tongue] ..."He's dead to me."

- No, that's the same thing. [chuckles] - That's the same thing. Yeah. [chuckles]

- Well, I'm sorry it ended so badly... - [chuckles]

...but at least you got that awesome joke out of it.

- You should go on the road with that. - [chuckles] It usually works pretty well.

- Does it? Yeah. - Yeah, not now, but it does.

- Hmm. - Cool.

[chuckles] What happened?

You know that thing where you're like,

"I-I'm... I'm so lucky that my best friend and my husband get along"?

- [exhales sharply] - Yeah.

[groans] Now I drop my kid off at her house every other weekend.

[groans]

I helped hang that bitch's wallpaper.

- There's not a single bubble in it. - [chuckles]

- That's rough. - [chuckles]

What is the most embarrassing thing you realized

you didn't know how to do without your wife?

Sorry, I'm not used to people en... engaging.

Usually, everybody just runs from this topic.

- Well, not me. I double down, so... - I see that.

- I didn't know how to pay my mortgage. - Oh.

- Yeah. - That's a big one.

Yeah. I-I thought that if I waited long enough,

they would be cool and come find me, which they did.

- They were not cool. [chuckles] - [chuckles]

Uh, what was your wife's name?

- Tia. - That's a really nice name.

It's a really nice name.

Okay, this is gonna sound crazy, um, but do you ever think

that your wife dying might be better than what happened to me?

- Well-- - No.

- No? - [chuckles] No. Li... [stammers]

- Okay, I can say this. I can say this. - It's... Okay. Mm-hmm.

I feel like you and I can both be sad without this being a competition.

- Hear me out, okay? - Okay.

- All right. - All right?

Any good memory that I have of my husband is tainted.

Okay? [stammers] They're gone.

But I bet you have, like, a million amazing memories of your wife

and you get to keep them forever.

- Yeah. Yeah. I do. - Yeah.

- Yeah, I win. I'm the winner. - Fuck,

- you won. - Yes.

- Yeah, I have so much anger, okay? - [chuckling]

I'm... I feel like I'm... like I'm stuck.

You know, it's probably gonna be easier for you to move on eventually.

You don't seem like you have that much anger.

- No? - No.

You seem like you have the right amount of anger.

[clicks tongue] Sometimes for me, um, moving on feels im-impossible.

Well, don't say impossible.

[chuckles]

- I'm gonna go now... - Okay.

...because I have a therapy session.

Oh. Well, thank God. Yeah.

Keep-Keep doing the-the good work, right?

I'm the therapist.

- But, "thank God"? - Yeah.

I meant, "Thank, uh... Thank God, they have you to do that work."

Hey, um...

It was really nice meeting you.

[sighing] You too.

This is why you called me here?

Who at the funeral even told you about Bitcoin?

Break it up, you two.

What did you mean by "classic Gaby"?

- Here, watch him. - Oh, oh, oh. Wh-Wh-What if...

What if he gets hungry?

- What? You got nipples. Whip a titty out. - Oh.

[Gaby] You, say what you mean, all right?

You wanna mix it up, Paul? Let's mix it up. Let's go.

Okay, let's mix it up.

- Great. - All right.

It is classic Gaby to allow yourself to be manipulated

into taking care of someone else's problem.

So, helping somebody else out for an hour means that I'm a mess? Hmm?

You need to eat more fiber, Paul, 'cause that's some weak shit.

You keep using every excuse

to put everyone else's needs before your own.

You used that baby to skip lunch

with one of the most attractive men I have ever seen.

And I'm saying this as a very attractive man.

This is exactly what you're doing with your mom.

You and I both know you do not want

- your mother to live with you. - Dude.

Guys, I'm trying to get him down for a nap. Could you just shush?

Oh, I just shushed someone. That's a milestone.

You are never going to be happy until you change this pattern.

You wanna talk about changing patterns, huh, Mr. "Fortress of Solitude"?

Mr., uh, "You Can Crash At My Place"?

Mr. "I Love You So Much And I Wanna Be Around You All The Time

But Not If It Means That You Have To Keep All Your Stuff At My House"?

That last one was unnecessarily long.

Yeah, I know. I felt it when I did it.

At least I'm trying to change.

I made a friend this year, and, last month, we went out for a pastry.

And just recently, I hosted a small group of people in the office kitchen.

That was 30 seconds ago, and you just kicked everybody out.

You're saying this is classic Gaby?

Well, this is classic Paul. [stammers]

You are so set in your ways, you're too scared to sack up.

- Scared to sack up? - Yeah. Yeah. Gotta sack up, Paul.

Why is he crying?

Christ's sake.

- [crying] He's so beautiful. - [Paul sighs]

- Oh, no. - Looked me in the eye.

Yeah. So, it's just the eye contact, huh?

- It's the eye... [cries] - Okay.

Let me get this baby, 'cause this is a lot.

- I'm sorry. - All right.

- [partygoers exclaim] - What y'all think?

- It's incredible. - That's amazing.

- Can we move this shit along? - Holy shit. It's a party, Paul.

Why are you so cranky all the time?

- Who hurt you? - My father.

Oh, right. Yes. No, I knew that.

Did you remember the giant bow for the car?

You asked me to do one thing.

- I'm insulted. - You forgot.

Almost immediately.

Hey. Hey, how was the, uh... how was the pregame?

Secrets were told, tears were shed, and, uh, piercings were shown. So...

- [Liz] Mm-hmm. - Yeah, jaws were dropped.

- [chuckles] - Ooh, I almost forgot.

My friends are taking me out after this.

Do you two wanna join?

- Yes. - Mm-mmm.

No. I c... I can't. But thank you so much for asking.

Mm-hmm. Have a seat.

- Here. - Aw.

Yeah... [stammers] ...there's a receipt inside,

in case you don't like it.

Which you won't, because I don't know you and I don't know what you like.

That's so nice.

Whatever it is, you're gonna love it.

He once gave me a pair of Nikes that were so cool,

I'm still afraid to wear 'em.

Hey, take it easy on the gifts.

You know, once she opens a present or lights a candle,

- then the party clock starts. - Don't.

- Paul, please don't do it. Paul. - [Gaby] I think he's gonna light it.

Thanks, Paul.

I'm not doing it for you.

[chuckles] That's all right. I am unfazed. [sighs]

I'm cool as a cucumber.

- So I will begin. - Yes. Come on.

I just want to say a few words about my amazing daughter, Alice.

A is for "amazing."

[Gaby chuckles]

L is for "lucky to be her dad."

Backwards.

This is backwards?

- So to you that's a backwards L? - Yep.

- And that's forwards? - [Derrick] Yeah.

- Yeah. - [Liz] Let's keep it moving.

[Gaby] Come on. Don't focus on it.

- Like, from where we are. - [Liz] You got it.

Mm-hmm.

I is for "I should probably stop because I can tell she hates this."

- [partygoers laughing] - So much.

- C is for "can't" because-- - Still backwards.

I love watching her squirm.

And E is for... "[squeals] ...I'm so excited..."

Goddamn it.

- "Excited" was right there. - It was.

I'm so excited for this new stage of your journey as you drive off int--

- Drive off? Oh, my God. Oh, my God. - Oh. Oh. Oh. [chuckles]

[partygoers laughing]

- [Derek] Come on. - [Brian] Really good. Really good.

Oh, my God.

It's just like Mom's.

It's not exactly like Mom's.

We didn't make you in this one.

Dad, you're the best.

I love you so much.

- There is my birthday bitch. - [Jimmy] Oh. Hey, Summer.

- Hi. - [squeals, gasps] You were right.

He got you a car.

Oh, well. At least I acted s-surprised.

- Thank you. - [Dylan] Whoa.

You're gonna have to sit in the back.

- All right. - Yeah.

- [Jimmy] Hey, hey, hey. - [Summer] Hi.

- Seat belts, everybody. Seat belts. - [Summer giggles]

- [engine starts] - [partygoers cheer]

- [screams] Okay, bye. Whoo! - All right, bye. [stammers] Bye.

Bye.

[sighs] She's not coming back, is she?

Maybe not ever.

Why'd you give her the keys?

- We had her for 30 more minutes. - Hey, no.

That's a selfish, grown-ass woman.

- You know we taught her well. - Okay.

You know what? Party's just getting started.

We got food, we got music, we can all just hang out together.

No. Woof. See ya.

- Oh. - Yeah.

- Let's party. - [partygoers cheer]

- [Gaby] Let's do shots! Come on! - [Derek] Come on, team!

Okay... [sighs] ...I'm gonna go get my favorite beer from the house. [chuckles]

Oh. Baby, do you want me to get it for you?

I'm happy to.

No, I'm good.

Liz, I can't fucking watch this anymore.

- What? - You with Derek.

It's unsettling.

It's like straights playing kickball.

Eat my ass, Brian.

And hate it 'cause I'm a girl.

Oh, thank God. You're still in there.

This isn't you.

I know.

I am stuck in a shame spiral.

I just... I can't figure out how to stop it.

I want to show you a picture the food truck got tagged in today.

"Shrimp Bitch is back!" Oh, am I the Shrimp Bitch?

That is so sweet.

[clicks tongue] Aw. All the comments are about how hateful you are.

I know 'cause I'm awesome.

But what does that have to do with Derek and me?

Oh, he misses Shrimp Bitch too.

- He hearted every single comment. - Really?

No, but I think if he knew how to use social media, he would.

Take it from someone who was straight for 20 years.

[inhales heavily] If you don't find a way to start being your true self,

you will never enjoy sex again.

- [exhales deeply] - Seriously, dude?

No, she gets it.

- No, I do. I get it. - [chuckles]

Eat my ass and I'll hate it because you're a girl?

[chuckles] That was funny.

I might like it.

So, we'll drop your car at my place,

and then we'll walk to birthday under the bridge.

- Perfect. - And I have drinks,

music and weed for the sobers.

Ah, that's awesome.

- You're getting a text. - Ooh, read it to me.

It's from Louis. [sighs]

"Sorry this is late. Happy birthday. I'm so glad we got to connect,

but it's probably healthiest for both of us if we don't speak again."

We're making a stop.

It's a great opportunity for me to show you how smart I am.

It's an escape room, man. You're gonna love it.

Uh, I really don't think I am.

- I don't get it. They lock you in a room? - Yeah.

- And you can't get out? - Yeah.

- And you have to do maths problems? - Yeah.

And you enjoy it?

Nah, I hate that shit.

But maybe this time we'll get out and we'll get matching T-shirts.

[Louis] Whoa, you didn't say anything about matching T-shirts.

- Oh, well, then I'm definitely in. - It's gonna be great.

Hi.

- Hey, Alice. [sighs] - Can we talk?

I would, but I can't 'cause I gotta work.

[scoffs] No, you don't, man. It's slow. I can close.

Thanks for reading that so perfectly.

Ah, you're welcome.

You have a new friend.

Is he your bestie?

[chuckles] I guess, in that he's my only.

Mmm.

It is nice to start with a clean slate though.

I so get that.

Mm-hmm.

I'm happy for you.

Thank you.

I was worried about you when you didn't text me back,

but you seem good.

Yeah. I'm great.

I mean, look, my life isn't all bubble gum and doughnuts but,

- you know-- - Nobody says that here.

[chuckles] I don't know what Americans say.

Guns and ammo?

Things are definitely getting better.

I used to come here with Sarah every single morning

before she'd go for work.

And we would sit here and guess what all the people did for a living.

And then after everything happened,

I would find myself on this bench for hours,

and every time I'd see a train coming,

it would take all my strength not to just get up and...

Anyway. [clicks tongue]

Why don't you want to talk to me anymore?

It's weird.

I just think it's better this way.

I don't believe you.

What did my dad say to you?

[inhales deeply]

- [Derek] Hey. - [Gaby] Hi.

- Come on. Here you go, lovely lady. - [chuckles]

Why, thank you, sir.

- But none for you, buddy. - [Gaby] Actually, I can't.

It's gonna be like an hour drive to my mom's house and I should get going.

Are you sure you don't want me to come?

- Yeah. No. - I'm great with moms.

- Oh. - And just know I'm gonna be flirting.

Might even spank a little tush. [imitates smack]

You gonna... [imitates smack] ...my mom's ass?

- What's the matter with you? - [chuckles]

We're gonna talk about that later.

- But do me a favor? - Mmm.

Throw my boy Jimbo a bone.

He wants to feel like he's a threat.

- I got it. All right. - Okay, bye. I'll call you.

- Bye. - You outta here?

- Yeah, see ya. - See ya.

[inhales deeply, sighs] It's so hard being in your house, man.

I can't stop picturing all the hot love you two made.

- Thanks, man. - [laughing]

What the fuck?

Derek, is this your dog?

[Derek] Yeah... [sighs] ...it's Mac's new beer.

I love it. Don't tell Liz. It'll make her even crazier.

I've been married 27 years and suddenly,

my wife has been replaced by some weird replica.

I know, it makes me feel like an earthquake is coming or something.

Last night, she told me she always sees me and always hears me.

- That's creepy. - I don't want to be seen or heard.

- Right? - [chuckles]

Relationships... [sighs] ...are tricky.

[Derrick] I hear you, man.

I mean, Gaby's great, but trying to figure her out has been...

[inhales heavily] Let's just say there's a lot of walls up.

- Mmm. Tricky. - [Derrick] Yeah.

I met a woman today.

Hmm? A woman.

We really clicked. Guess what I did?

- What? - Nothing.

- Oh. - [Jimmy] Not a thing.

It made me wonder if I'm ever gonna be ready for something real, you know?

Ah, don't say that, Jim.

Oh, you're, like, a full-time Jimmy?

- It makes me feel boyish. - No, it works.

You know, things can change, James.

[chuckles]

As a therapist, I believe that.

But I've also seen people who live a certain way for so long...

[door closes]

...they never seem to get past their roadblocks.

Hey, bud. [sighs] I'm sorry to barge in. I'm just here to crash.

Oh, hey. [sighs] Come here.

[Julie clears throat]

[clicks tongue]

You know how sometimes... [stammers] ...uh... [sighs]

...the correct thing to do is right in front of me,

and because I'm a dickhead... [sighs] ...it takes me too long to do it?

It's one of your most endearing qualities.

Well, before I met you,

I thought I was living the best version of my life.

I was thriving at work, reconnecting with my family,

a little something-something with the lady down the street.

What lady down the street?

Where-Where exactly did she live?

- She moved. - Oh.

So, the point is, I never thought there would be a new best version.

[breathes shakily]

Move in with me. [sighs]

I kind of already did.

Half my clothes are already here.

I-I've been putting out pictures, and I... I've just...

[clicks tongue] I've been waiting for you to catch up.

[chuckles]

[chuckles, sighs]

Who the fuck are those people?

That's my sister and her kids.

Who the... Who the fuck do you think they are?

Oh, I thought they came with the frame.

Oh, Paul. [chuckles]

You good?

[both laughing]

Yeah, I'm good.

Okay. I'll be back. [sighs]

[sniffs]

I can't decide if I should bring your grandpa's favorite old armchair

or put it in storage.

Mom, is that the fart chair?

[both laugh]

You should burn that. Why you still got it?

Ooh, he used to blow this thing up.

You're not bringing it. That's crazy.

- Aw, come on, now. - [phone ringing]

- Hold on, Mom. I got to take this. - Okay.

What's up, boss man?

I got a new roommate.

What? No way.

I just wanted to thank you for giving me the courage.

- I gotta go. Julie's here. - [Julie chuckles]

[Gaby] Hey, pace yourself.

Make sure you stretch too.

You too old for all that messing around, all right?

Good night.

Baby, have you seen the packing tape? I just had it.

What is it, honey?

Um... [sighs]

- Mom, I love you so much, but, um... - I love you too.

...I don't think you should move in with me.

I think you'll be a lot happier here, closer to your friends and-and your life.

And I'm gonna... I'm gonna set you up too.

I'll get you a full-time caretaker, I'll visit a lot more than I used to,

which... [chuckles] ...you know, I definitely already should've been doing.

Like... And I know that I really screwed this whole thing up

by not saying anything sooner,

but, um, I really, really, really think that this is the right thing.

For the both of us.

Hmm.

I-I hope that you understand.

Mmm.

Mom?

[inhales sharply] I think maybe you should just go.

- You done made up your mind. - Mom.

You said what you have to say. Now just go.

[sighs]

I'm sorry.

So am I.

[breathing shakily]

Great birthday for Alice, buddy.

Even if she was only there for the beginning.

Thanks, Derek.

Yeah, I feel good.

You should.

You're a good daddy.

I appreciate that, but don't call me daddy.

[chuckles]

- Hey, Sean! This cake is delicious! - Thanks, D.

- I-Is it a mix, or is it from scratch? - [door opens]

Are you out here yelling about cake at 11-fucking-30?

Have you lost your mind?

Finish that out there.

If you get crumbs in my bed, I will kill you.

You okay?

I'm just happy.

[chuckles]

[phone chimes]

[sighs, chuckles]

You told him not to talk to me?

Even when you knew it was helping me?

I can't... [inhales deeply] ...fucking believe you.

[sighs]

Way to ruin another birthday.

Sweetie.

- [sighs] Al... - [door closes]

Fuck!