Original subtitles

"The Incarcerated Detective"

I've destroyed all the evidence

What can you do about it?

I've destroyed all the evidence

What can you do about it?

You're arrested for tampering with evidence

You son of a bitch

Hand it over

What are you doing? Let go

Come on

Where? I'm already in prison!

Where can you take me? Let go!

I'll see you in another cell

Thank you, friendly inmate

No, he's the Incarcerated Detective

You're welcome

Because justice...

Will forever stand on the side of justice

"The Incarcerated Detective, Episode 108"

Boss

Thanks, Chow

Let's work together

Work together, okay?

Thank you, boss

Let's head to the bathhouse, my treat

- I'm used to bathing myself - I gotta work

My car's here...

- Bye-bye! - Thank you, boss...

Thank you, boss

- We're in this together boss - He's gone

That bottle of red was horrible...

Motherfucker

That guy...

So what does this mean?

Lark, with you on board, it's gonna happen

Right?

Let me tell you

I think the story is great

I've been hoping to work with you

Alright

The director's right here

Got it?

Alright, supporting new directors

I'll contact Jan and set up a meeting

Thanks

Set up a meeting...

Set up...

That's Lark, the Incarcerated Detective

It's Lark... the Incarcerated Detective

I love watching your show

Hello there

Can we take a picture with you?

Sure... of course you can

- You're so handsome - Thanks

Let me help you take a picture

Alright, thank you

1,2, 3...

Let's do your signature pose

Alright...

Okay

Alright, look here, 123

Because justice...

Will forever stand on the side of justice

- I'm hungry - There's a new noodle place nearby,

- let's check it out - Sure

What the hell?

Hey!

Forget it, he must be drunk

Be careful, he might hurt you

Isn't he the Incarcerated Detective on TV?

Who's that?

That guy...

I don't watch TV

Let's go

Hello?

Are you still at dinner?

Incarcerated Detective shoots tonight at 23:30

Dinner's done, I'm on my way

We wouldn't stay long, there weren't any girls

We're shooting the episode with the female ghost

So much weird shit is happening

Long shooting hours

Getting in the way of my movie deals

You tell them

I don't wanna be a fucking cop again

Lark, just calm down a bit

Are you drinking and driving?

Be careful, you're a public figure

It's a big deal if you get caught

I won't

Shit, I'll call you later

Sir

Sir?

Do you know why I pulled you over?

Why is that, sir?

Because...

Justice always stands on the side of justice

Yes...

Justice is always on the side of justice

Can I take a selfie?

Sure, of course you can

Thank you

Hold on

You wanna leave just like that?

Your seat belt

Right... sorry, sir...

Thank you... thank you, sir...

Fuck!

"Prison Film Set"

"Haunted Prison”

Ask the director what time we're getting off

Why would you ask the AD?

Stop shooting, are you paying for damages?

Hurry up

Change into the costumes for your next scene

Hello director

Brother Lark

I'll work on your makeup later

Lark!

Good morning...

I wanna apologize

Jan said you had some thoughts on the script

But I've spoken to the writer

We hope you can compromise on the ghost element

Because that affects the whole storyline

Alright, sure, no problem

Thank you, Lark...

We're ready to go

Let's go through the scene, okay?

Thanks

Thanks, Brother Lark

Alright, we don't need to go through it

Let's just leave it as is, I'm good with that

We gotta go through it

It's a very important scene

Yeah it is

Thank you, Brother Lark

Jut put it up here

Sure

Position it better

How can I read it if it's horizontal?

Stop messing around, Lark

You...

Your hands...

What the heck? Why is there fake blood?

It's the wrong scene

Let me talk to makeup

It's okay, don't blame them

No worries, it's okay

Let's go through the scene

Tell makeup not to come over

Thanks, which part are we looking at?

So the ghost is seeking your help to find justice

Then you slowly...

Don't touch me, carry on

You touch her chin

And say, 'Don't worry..."

And then your signature catchphrase

Then I'll start adding mist

What?

- Your catchphrase - Sure

Then I'll add some mist

To give it a mysterious ambiance

Then the camera tracks in

I'm actually referencing a film that I love

Lark is on set

Lark, this is your position marker

When you say your lines...

Are we ready?

Let's go ahead and try one

Try one? I can only do this once

Sorry, I need to fix your mic

Then let's go for it

Let's shoot it for real

Camera rolling

And... action!

Incarcerated Detective...

I died in vain, I died horribly...

Cut, that was amazing!

But he hasn't said his catchphrase yet

His expression was priceless though

Let's do one more

Where's Lark?

He said he'd only do one take

So that's the only take we'll get

What?

Lark...

Lark, are you doing okay?

We came in here to talk to you about...

Did you guys...

See the female ghost just now?

The female ghost... she's ready to roll

She's a real ghost

I hired her, she's called Ceci

She's looks very convincing

That's because she's a real ghost

I just saw her neck... she...

It went like... crack... snap...

Lark

Didn't you say you'd stay off booze?

Yeah, Lark

You shouldn't be drinking while you work

The Incarcerated Detective is sober

I'm not drunk, she's a real ghost

I would know because I ran my car into her

Considering this scene, using a ghost as an actress

Is perfect casting, isn't it?

Yeah

It's okay, that's not important

Let's get down to business

Because that scene just now

Was missing something

We wanted you to say your catchphrase

I'll ask the director to come out

Director, excuse me

The cameras are in position

Let's go through it outside?

Lark, let's walk and talk

Because this is a very important scene

Lark, we can eat after shooting this scene

Come on

Lark, thank you

Lark, here's your marker

Alright, let's go

Quiet on set

Give me back my head

Quiet! Who's talking?

Nobody's talking

Never mind, let's do it

Alright, quiet on set, do not talk

Wait...

Wait a second

What's happening?

Camera's down, let's call it a day

We're good to go

Alright, let's go again

Sound speed

Alright, 3... 2.. Action

Detective...

Can you help me?

Help me...

What's going on?

- Turn them back on... - Was there a proper blessing ceremony?

Director is losing his temper

Did the generator run out of fuel?

Someone go check it out

We're good to go, director

Director, let's do it again

Director, are we doing it again

Get out of my way... shut the door...

I told you, she's a real ghost

She's a real ghost, are we still shooting?

Shut up

What should we do now, director?

Let's wrap and get out of here

This is our last day on this location, otherwise we'll lose it

There still enough time

Let's just get an extra to replace her

What? What about continuity?

Right, continuity should be good

Why did you hire a real ghost to come to work?

Sorry, I didn't know

We're only missing the ending, director

Let's just get it over with

I'll give you priority on my schedule

Let's just stop shooting now

What?

I'm scared

Director...

Don't replace me

Don't replace me

Director...

Let's keep shooting

Are you okay?

Do you still have humanity left in you?

She was ran over on her way to work

She wants to finish her job even though she's a ghost

Isn't that the true Hong Konger spirit?

As long as we work together alongside each other

And influence a life with a life

A priceless collaboration between humans and ghosts

I believe that...

We can create something that is heart-stirring for the audience

Do you know what the fuck you're saying?

She was in a car accident

She still showed up right on time

Right

She doesn't need makeup, that's good right?

She won't go to the great beyond if her heart still lingers on

She's a fine actress

We can't strip her chance away just because she's a ghost

It just so happens we need a character that's a ghost

Why can't we hire a ghost as an actor for this role?

Why do we always have to put someone in makeup?

That's incredibly unfair to ghosts

Right, you have a point

That makes sense

Awesome, we'll have a market in hell as well!

Wait a second...

Are you guys out of your mind?

She's a ghost!

You guys are letting a ghost work on your show?

Maybe she's here to seek revenge on me

Don't you even think about ghost busting

Just focus on your acting

I think Ceci is perfectly cast for the role

I'm okay with that

Wait for me

She's overwhelmed with sorrow, and she's a pro

She didn't follow the script, she's not a pro at all

You missed a few lines

Don't talk to me about being 'pro'

Makeup heading to set...

We'll work on her performance once we're on set

You too, don't stay here

You bunch of jerks

Thank you for letting me act with you, my saviour

Alright!

We're just missing the ending, let's finish this

Brother Lark

In this scene, an inmate will charge at you with a shiv

Luckily, the female ghost will help you apprehend him

Where's the inmate?

Sorry, the inmate is coming

I'm here

You again?

We're lacking budget

Whatever

Director

Ceci, come and rehearse the scene

Come on...

Screw it

Let's just do this

Good, it's almost sunrise

Ceci will have to go

Alright, let's go for it

Ready, and action

Because justice will forever stand on the side of justice

Sorry, Lark

Get off me, asshole

Sorry

Are you okay?

- Are you bleeding? - Don't touch me

Are you injured anywhere?

Go slower, give him time to get out of the way

Director

Sorry, it's my first time shooting an action scene

I'm still inexperienced, I'm sorry

This scene is very dangerous, let's change it

Change it?

Director, perhaps I should stop the shiv with my body

Using your body to shop the shiv?

Director, this is real stuff

It's real

I can do it

Alright, let's try one

Because justice will forever stand on the side of justice

Director

How was that?

There isn't enough blood

Not enough blood?

Sorry, let's go again

Stab harder

Are you even trying?

Let's try different angles

Alright

Ceci, you're gonna float into the scene

Ceci, come down, I need to check your mic

This is great, just stay like this

Thank you

Be careful

We have to take care of our actors

Director

Is this okay?

Let's try it like this

Right... that's great

Steve, get over here

- We're almost ready - Alright

You're here

Then we'll do a close up right here

I want some flesh to still be attached to the bone on her neck

Help me, these guys are insane

Where are you? Why didn't you pick up the phone?

I'm shooting right now

What is there to shoot?

What else? 'The Incarcerated Detective'

What? Haven't you heard the news?

The whole crew was in a traffic accident

Their car tumbled down the side of a mountain

Lark...

Don't leave...

You have to keep shooting...

Lark... we still have two scenes left

Lark... don't leave...

Don't drink and drive

Wear your seat belt

Lark... don't leave...

Don't drink and drive

Sir

Get out of the car

Get in the car

We're gonna administer a breathalyzer test

I didn't drink

You have to do it even if you didn't drink

Get lost, for fuck sake

Lark, of 'The Incarcerated Detective' fame

Was involved in a traffic collision last month

He's always showed up to work drunk

This incident almost halted production on the series

Luckily, the studio found a replacement

According to our sources

Lark's mental health is deteriorating inside prison

Perhaps it's the impact of losing a precious role

He's been troubled by hallucinations

Saying that a bunch of ghosts are forcing him to shoot

We wish Brother Lark the best of health

Hurry up

Fucking hell

I've destroyed all the evidence

What are you gonna do about it?

I've destroyed all the evidence

What are you gonna do about it?

You're arrested with tampering of evidence

Thank you, friendly inmate

No, she's the Incarcerated Female Detective

No... that can't be...

Get out of the way...

What are you doing? Asshole!

Get lost

I'll show you guys

Justice... will forever stand on the side of... justice...

Justice...

I'm gonna bust your head wide open

Gonna beat the shit out of you

You're in the way of the TV

Fucking ridiculous

Detective? Aren't you the detective?

What's going on? Sit the hell down

Let's get outta here

Because justice...

Will forever stand on the side of justice

"The Incarcerated Female Detective, Episode 1"

"Cute Wife, Obey Me Tonight"

What are you looking at?

Good morning, have you eaten yet?

Fatso, don't go in

What happened?

There's a pervert in there

There are two perverts here

He's a gay pervert

I must correct you

Do you know what place this is?

Male toilet

It's a public toilet

Do you know what that means?

Anyone can go in and out of a public toilet

Free entry, equal amongst all

It's a place of freedom

But that pervert was looking at my dick

I just don't want the same to happen to you

Kwan

Are you from this era?

How can your values be so backwards?

Your words are discriminatory

Are you homophobic?

I'm not homophobic

I just don't want that gay guy to mess with me

Some might say that you're discriminating their sexuality

You might get sued and end up in prison

Where you'll be raped

I'm going to pee

Thank you

Admiralty, please

I'm not crossing the harbour, sorry

I'm changing shifts

- Get another cab - Alright

Damn taxi dog

What do you mean? What did you just say?

If I'm a taxi dog then what are you?

What are you? You're a harbour crossing dog

What? Come at me

You didn't even shut the door

I think he's just busy

He'll call you back later

I'm not asking him to drive an expensive car

I just want someone to drive me home when I'm tipsy

Is that too much to ask?

Look at the three of us, at rock bottom

Nah, mine's just not free tonight

That's an excuse, what could he be doing at this hour?

Rose's boyfriend treats her well

For her birthday last year

They went on a staycation at the Peninsula

Right, I've been to many of Hong Kong's

5-star hotels for a staycation

There's a buffet, a spa, it's amazing

The buffet is included?

Yeah, you didn't know?

I... really wanna try it out as well

Let me ask you

Is a boyfriend who takes you on a staycation more important

Or a boyfriend who drives you home?

Of course it's the staycation

Who'd know if he drove me home

But if it's a staycation

The whole world would know

Take a few pics, post them online, that's awesome

Wait a minute, speaking of which

Ling, you've been dating your boyfriend for two years now

How come we've never met him?

It's okay, you guys are such "mean girls'

You guys are getting off soon

Here's for the ride

Don't worry about it

What do you mean?

Stop it! Take it, bitch

Just take it, you don't earn much anyway

Driver, you can drop me off around the corner

Bye-bye

See you next time, bye-bye

See you next time

What's up?

Are you gonna come sit up front?

Afraid that your friends will see you

What is this?

It's yours

Is driving a taxi illegal?

Can you not be so sensitive?

You don't even know where your problem lies

It's late, and I show up on demand

Is that my problem?

Your friends just called me a driver

And that's my problem?

What else would they call you?

You came to pick me up

You just wanted to drive me to your place

So that we can have sex

Can you honestly remember the last time we had sex?

What do you see me as?

How long has it been since you came to my place?

Because having sex in that shit hole

Makes me feel like a whore

It feels terrible

I never treated you like one

Being together with you...

Besides getting free taxi rides

I don't know what else I can get from this

I can't see a future in our relationship

Are you crying again?

Forget it, I don't wanna mess up your taxi

I'm leaving

Hey!

Ling Nai Yiu

I'll drive you home, no sex tonight

Alright then...

I'll take you to your s... "location"!

Your majesty...

Unravel my clothing

Remove all that I'm wearing

Isn't that slutty?

She's sexually autonomous, not slutty, let's have a look

Wait a second

It's my turn to read that one

Remember to return it

Kwan, where's my copy of 'The Maiden Who Married into a Poor Family'?

It's with you

What are you looking at?

5-star hotels, with spas and a buffet

That's 4 - 5 grand

What a good deal...

My girlfriend wants to go on a staycation

Kwan, are you out of your mind?

4 - 5 grand so you can book a room to have sex?

Is your girlfriend made of gold?

Not exactly

But she has an amazing body

Kwan, you don't need to treat women too well

I don't?

Do you?

I don't?

Master

Do you have the talisman from last time?

Yeah I do, wait a second

I got you a talisman, wait a second

Alright

When you get to your car, put this on your forehead

Keep walking straight, it symbolizes a roof over your head

Understood?

Take this

- Thank you, master... - Store this well

Here, don't let go

I'm leaving, thank you

Don't look back

Did you pick that thing up from the village ancestral hall?

What? I just imbued a magical charm into that item

Didn't you see that?

Do you want me to make one for you?

Yeah, Kwan, it really works

It helped fight off some weird shit

Sure thing

It's okay, I'll pick it up from the ancestral hall myself

Are you messing with me?

Ads for a staycation?

They're listening to what we're saying

I'm used to it

I'm not afraid of them listening in

I live an honest life, I don't really care

Not for me, though

"Red Rum Party House Come here for a couple's staycation now!"

"Haunted Industrial Building"

Fucking hell

Why did you throw my comic book?

It's damaged now

Is it yours?

Do you know what you're reading?

Whatever you're reading

Defies the traditional Chinese values of man and wife

You can read it by yourself

But you're putting it out in the open

You're promotic toxic ideologies

What's happening?

You're a 'tsundere'

What does that mean?

What are you saying?

This is nonsense

Follow me in here

Come on, 'tsundere'

What does that mean?

This is your room

There are board games, mahjong, sofa bed

Chairs, a table, a TV

Ask me if you need an HDMI cable

This place has a central a/c

If you're ordering food, this is room C

The address is on the WhatsApp confirmation

You can't move the furniture around

If you have decorations, make sure you clear them out

No double-sided tape on the wall

You can't use spray paint, no durian

No sexual intercourse, no hotpot

- What? - No smoking...

What?

No sex?

No, why not?

Say all that stuff again

You can't move the furniture around

If you have decorations, make sure you clear them out

No double-sided tape on the wall

You can't use spray paint, no durian

No sexual intercourse, no...

No sexual intercourse

You said there's no sex allowed in here

We can't allow sex in here

You said this place was for a staycation

Yes, it's for a staycation

You don't have to have sex on a staycation

Right?

Can I lock the door?

Sure

A lot of people lock the door, need some help?

I'll lock it tighter for you

A lot of people lock the door

Excuse me, where's number 10?

Namo Amitabha...

Auntie...

Auntie...

Auntie...

Which floor

10th floor

Just press "10" by yourself

Where's Room C please?

That way, I'll take you there

Thank you

Hurry up

What took you so long? My legs are numb

Why didn't you come and pick me up?

I was prepping this room

Look, a 5-star staycation, surprise!

5-star?

What is this place?

A staycation, I decorated it myself, isn't it nice?

Why can't you just book a normal hotel room?

This is no different than a hotel staycation

You can ask the little girl up front

I've had enough

This is a party room for rent

It's a place for teenagers

If you don't feel ashamed, I feel embarrassed

Is it embarrassing?

I think it...

Makes me feel youthful

Youthful?

I don't have high standards

Do I not deserve better?

I spent five hours prepping this place

If you're not satisfied

Then you're no better than your gold-digger friends

I'm a gold-digger?

You said that Simon is a fool for treating Rose so well

You just don't wanna spend money on me

You're right

I'm not as rich as them

I'm just a taxi driver

I'm not gonna argue, |I've had enough

Let's break up

Kwan

What's up?

There aren't many guys who would spend so much time

Trying to make their girlfriend happy

Weren't you gonna leave me?

I won't allow you to say that about yourself

Actually, my request is very simple

I just want you and me to be...

Together!

You seem different today

Is this hot?

Yeah

Kwan

What's up with you? You look exhausted

I went on a staycation last night

My legs are sore

How was the place?

Of course it was fun

I prepared some petals and fragrances

It was as if she took an aphrodisiac

She was climbing up and down

She had her hands full

I guess there's no need to book a hotel after all

Kwan

Is your zodiac sign the ox or the horse?

It's the dog

Did you get off the bed with your left or right foot?

Right foot

No... the left foot

Have you eaten an orange in the past week?

Does orange juice count?

Did you call your mum?

Holy shit

That space is haunted

What?

You had an encounter with a ghost

Fuck!

What the hell do you mean?

Your forehead is dark, and your lips are pale

You must've encountered something ghastly

I had a staycation last night, I'm just exhausted

Right?

No

It was a horny ghost

A horny ghost?

Yeah

Some spirits did not fulfill

Their desires before they died

So they wanna have sex even after death

They'd possess spiritually weak souls

And lure them into sex

We call this a 'horny haunting'

Horny haunting?!

Was your girlfriend any different than usual?

Nope

No?

She just keeps wanting more, I'm all empty and dry man!

Kwan, this doesn't sound bad at all

Exactly

Sounds awesome...

Kwan

Stop messing around

Here

Keep this talisman with you

Did you steal this from the ancestral hall again?

You...

Keep this with you, free of charge

As a precaution

And a peace of mind

Alright then...

So annoying

"My Fickle & Naughty Little Minx"

Hand it to me

Why did you bring so much stuff down?

This is all my stuff

I didn't pack the bigger items yet

I'll bring them to you later

What happened?

We've broken up, I don't want these in the way

Broken up?

What do you mean by that?

We had... so much fun last night

What's going on?

Why are you always like this?

You're so fickle, how can I adapt?

Right, it's been so tough on you

You don't have to adapt any more

Ling Nai Yiu

Let's go to the party room again

You go to that ghastly place by yourself

What ghastly place?

You enjoyed yourself last night

Do you remember?

What happened?

Hello?

Hey baby, where are you now?

I'm working right now, where else?

Are you visiting me tonight?

Where can I find you?

Party room C

You're there right now?

What are you doing there?

Isn't that place too cheap for you?

Don't stay there too long

I'll make it up to you tonight

You can do whatever you want with me

I'm coming now

You're here

I've been waiting for so long

Didn't you say this place was too cheap for you?

Why wouldn't I like it?

You have to visit me more often from now on

You sometimes complain about this and that

And now you're being so reasonable

That'll be $160, thank you

So expensive?

It's usually $140

But the meter says $160, are you paying or not?

It's usually $140

Did you take a detour?

I only have $140 with me, do you want it?

You're still missing $20

I don't have any more

I only have $140 in cash

It's usually $140, and it's $160 today

Why is it so expensive?

Get out of my car

No, I only have $140

Actually...

A lot of people don't understand that

Taxi drivers are under a lot of pressure

This customer slammed my door today

And said I was a 'taxi dog'

Many people are rude in Hong Kong nowadays

Don't worry, I'll help you tell them off

Nai Yiu

I've been so happy lately

I love talking with you like this

It feels like...

I'm so close to you

Our conversations are so deep

Then... do you wanna...

Go deeper?

Nai Yiu

Nai Yiu, where are you going?

That's deep, really deep

Thanks

You're missing 40 cents

You're asking for 40 cents change?

That's still money, isn't it?

Damn taxi dog

See you later, sucker

My husband's abroad, let's go to my place

Please puke inside the plastic bag

Stop it, the driver can see us

So what? I'll beat the shit out of him

I said, puke inside the plastic bag

What are you looking at? Eyes on the road

Granny's gonna give me shit this time

Can you push harder?

Alright...

Let's go again

What?

Harder

harder

Let's do it again

No, I have to leave

Why?

I'm covering the morning shift tomorrow

I told you, remember?

Are you losing interest in me?

Nai Yiu

Love is not just about sex

I feel like you're suffocating me

What is it now?

I'm really tired

I can't get it up

You can do it, let's go again

You forced my hand

You can't eat that

Again...

You're awake?

Look at his utterly exhausted face

Kwan

Did you break up?

Where's the talisman I gave you?

Did you use it?

I'm sure your girlfriend has been possessed

By a horny ghost?

That doesn't sound too bad, seem like fun

Fun?

He will be totally sucked dry, and die!

Kwan, then don't go anymore

Don't? What do you mean?

If I don't go on a staycation

She'll break up with me

Don't do it, Kwan

I don't want to either

She wants sex every night

I'm exhausted, you know?

If I don't sleep, my granny's gonna be mad

Don't go, Kwan

- It's okay... - Calm down

It's okay...

- Do you have water? - Water? Water...

Excuse me, do you have water?

Have some water and you'll be fine

Excuse me, do you have water?

I do... here you go

You'll feel better after some water

That's ghost saliva!

The bag feels heavy...

The party room

Give me the address

What are you gonna do?

Come on, time to go ghost busting!

Don't tell granny!

We're almost there, hang on!

Hey!

What did you do to my comic?

Are you having a threesome today?

Stop messing around

Which room does he usually go to? Tell me now

What are you doing here, uncle?

What am I doing here?

I'm here for an exorcism, hurry up

What does that mean?

Room C

Fucking hell

That was a 'C'?

Aggressive jerk

Where's your girlfriend?

She's not here yet

Demonic entity, show yourself!

Why didn't you tell me you're bringing a friend?

This is Fatso, I came uninvited

Fatso?

You're like a cute teddy bear

Do you want a taste?

Are you crazy?

Put your clothes back on

Take this

Out of my way

Horny ghost...

I'll skip the niceties

You wanna escape?

Die, horny ghost!

Are you crazy? You'll hurt her

Babe, I'm so scared

Get out of here...

Die, here I come

You're lying down again?

Accept your death!

Hey!

I'm helping you

She's been possessed

She's indeed been possessed

But she treats me well

Fuck this

Escape is futile

Your fate is death, evil spirit

What is it now?

She'll suck out all of your energy

You'll die

Let's not get physical

We can talk this out

Where is she?

She's here

What now?

You can't escape anymore?

Evil spirit, you will perish

Are you okay?

Is there a more humane way to do this?

This ghost is really horny, you can't take it

I'm sorry for this

Kwan, you don't love me anymore

How could I not love you?

During this period of time

You gave me so much joy

But we're from different worlds

We have different frequencies

How about this

You slow down your frequency

And we can meet up occasionally and have fun

Okay?

Fatso

Please help me convince this lady

She's not a lady, she's a man

Mister...

Please let my friend go

He's not suitable for you

She's not a lady, she's a man

I'm not homophobic

I just don't want that gay pervert to mess with me

Whatever you're reading

Defies the traditional Chinese values of man and wife

Some might say that you're discriminating their sexuality

You'll be raped

Granny's gonna give me shit this time

Do you know what a public toilet is?

Anyone can go in and out of a public toilet

Free entry, equal amongst all

What's wrong with indulging on a man's dragon?

Why are you modern people so old school?

Kwan

Where's the talisman I gave you?

The talisman?

You mean that bell thing?

Right, I have it

Kwan... did you find it?

I'm searching for it... wait

Can you hurry up?

Kwan...

How about this scripture?

That'll work

Go on, stick it on

Kwan

I had a really good time these past few weeks

No man has ever treated me so well

I knew our relationship will eventually come to an end

If you have the heart to forever cease my reincarnation

And dissipate into the abyss

Then go ahead and stick it on

You asshole

You're awake?

What am I doing here?

You're okay now

What is he doing?

He's just playing some music

The bag you just bought is so cute

I wanted to buy the red one

It's new this season

If you don't buy it, it'll be off-season

Babe

- I'll help you with that - Thank you

Do you girls need a ride?

It's okay, we'll get out of your hair

You got yourself a red stallion

We'll be waiting for your wedding invitations

Alright, get lost

Is she sick of us already?

Alright, see you

"Domineering Driver and the Dainty Wife"

Do people still use these machines?

They look quite nice

Waste of air conditioning

There's a ghost, just now...

Don't be such a chickenshit

Don't run around

This way

No, just now...

Little girl

Are you a human or a ghost?

"Haunted Shopping Mall"

Do you know where Kat went to play?

Hey

Kat, time for some candy

You guys must think that a quiet mall means it's haunted

You're wrong! This place was bustling in the 80s and 90s

But it's also a time when it was the most haunted

Because this place attracts couples who are ready to get married

And it also attracts children who are to be reincarnated

This bride-to-be

Do you want to try anything in particular?

We have all kinds of styles here

You can take your pick

I want something that shows my shoulder

When I was a kid, I used to play at my mom's store

I'd watch her pick wedding dresses for clients

While she helped the kids seek prospective mothers

How about this one? It shows your shoulders

The bottom is like a princess' dress

It looks elegant, and sexy

I think I'll take this one

But can you add a piece of cloth in the front?

To cover my baby belly

Sure... I'll adjust it for you...

Alright, thank you

Alright...

Thank you

Come back for a fitting next Thursday, thank you...

Bye-bye

Bye-bye

Bye-bye

Patting the back of a ghost's dead

Hello

She's called Kat

When my mom was busy working

And couldn't attend to me

She'd always be there to play with me

Don't you want to reincarnate?

Yay! Then you can stay here and play with me

After mom retired

I took over the store

But nobody goes to malls these days

Not even a ghost in sight

It's heavy

Takeout has arrived

Good, I can smell it

Let's order from Cheung Fat next time

The long-haired delivery guy seems nice

Cheung Fat closed down two days ago

Business wasn't holding up

Chiuchow lady told me today

That she's closing at the end of the month

Pretty much all the stores in 3/F have closed

I thought her Chinese wedding gowns were beautiful

I always wished I would have a chance to buy one

But it's closing before I can get married

It's okay, Fong

You still have another two weeks

Alright

No...

I'm a vegan...

I'm a vegan

Eat some more

No...

Have some more

I'm a vegan

Fire!

- Help... - We're coming...

- What's going on? - Fire!

There's a raging fire, help

It's such a big fire, I can't breathe...

I can't breathe...

Alright... I'll help you...

It's so hot... it's burning

It's settled

Thank you, firefighting hero

What happened?

I couldn't sleep, so I lit some incense

Then I immediately fell asleep

And this girl kept feeding me meat

I ate so much meat

It must've been the vegan chicken stew from last time

What? It was a vegan chicken stew?

The one from Sam Pan?

Yeah

They serve vegan food there?

Nope

Edward

As long as you have veganism in your heart

The floor's wet, I'll get a mop

I'll wipe your desk

You guys keep talking about Kat

Is she missing a front tooth?

Yeah, did you see her?

I get it now

She knew I was a vegan

So she fed me meat on purpose

To shock me into waking up

Otherwise I would've died from the fire

Help me thank her if you see her

I haven't seen her in a long time

There's a ghost!

I'm terrified

There's another one there

What kind of a shopping mall is this?

It's Kat

Fong

Fong...

Kat

Hello

I've been looking for you

Kat is a little rascal

She loved playing pranks

But she only does it with reason

One time, Edward forgot to lock up

Someone was stealing from his store

And Kat wouldn't let him leave

In another instance, Yee was in the toilet

A pervert was taking pictures of her

Luckily, Kat came to the rescue

You're taking pictures?

What's your plan?

What are you guys talking about?

Take a look at this

Oh shit...

You guys got it too?

We tried fighting against it

We don't have a choice but leave

I just didn't think it'd come so soon

Gotta move out by the end of the month

Once they shut the four of us down

That's the end for the mall

What's up?

What's next for you?

I haven't thought about it

You knew we'd be kicked out soon

You really never thought about it?

I don't wanna leave

It's great here

Take a look

Don't you like it?

I've been here for many years

Of course I'd like it here

Everything's old and worn down

Why would you like it here?

There can be many reasons

To like a place

Perhaps it's because of the people here

I'm changing professions after the shop closes

What are you gonna do?

A friend asked me to start a business in Taiwan

But we don't know what we're gonna do

I've never heard you mention it, is it a boy or a girl?

Who is this person?

Secondary school classmate

Why are you so up tight?

What's that got to do with you?

- You... - So...

You go first

Go ahead, you might forget

Are you gonna say it?

What do you wanna do before you leave?

I'll help you fulfill one wish

One wish? That's a lot

Let's start with one

I just want this place to be bustling again

Giving us hope

I don't care how much money we make

As long as we're all happy together

That's a lot of wishes, you know that right?

You're so useless

I'm just saying it as it is

I'm also worried about Kat

When all the stores close

I dunno what's gonna happen to her

Maybe we can persuade her to leave

I've been trying since forever

Or we could find her a good family

And let her reincarnate

That sounds good

What are you doing?

Kiss me

What?

Kat

You little rascal

You can't do that, I've told you many times before

I'm just trying to help you, you're the rascal

What? What's happening?

Nothing

Let's go inside

Sure

Kat

Kat

I know you're here

Kat

Our store is closing at the end of the month

You shouldn't stay here any longer

Don't be so childish

You knew this place was getting torn down

It's dangerous for you here

Didn't you say you'd play with me?

I know it's hard to let go

It's hard for me as well

There's nothing we can do

Where can I go?

I just wanna play with you

If you don't leave, your soul will dissipate forever

Then we don't be able to see each other

Be good

Find a good family to reincarnate into

We'll see each other in the next life

Edward made a PR campaign on the mall's closure

There are so many prospective parents

Kat will definitely be able to reincarnate this time!

Come and take a look

Have a look

You look beautiful today

I know

Hi, take a look at this

Are you two planning to have children?

We'd prefer if it was just the two of us

Have you considered having children?

What?

Marriage is about producing offspring

It's a cardinal rule

And we have some baby items on sale

I can talk you through it

I don't think we will

Alright then

Back to the manicure

Alright, I'll call you back

Bye-bye

What do you think?

It's nice, it matches you

Babe, what do you think?

I gotta call someone back, just a sec

I could help you adjust this part...

Sorry, wait a second

Hello? Yes...

Is this the one?

It looks nice

I'll help her adjust the front, so that she...

Excuse me

Alright, bye-bye

Sorry, where were we?

I'll help you adjust this part

Make it lower and tighter

What? Is that too revealing?

It can't go any lower

I only bought that stock last week

What do you think?

They won't have time to have me as their kid

First of all, how did you guys start dating?

A friend introduced us

We were at a concert together in Japan

Have we been to a concert in Japan?

Was it not?

I must've mixed it up

Who were you with?

Why do you care? Why are you yelling?

You're scaring the baby

It's okay

We won't be shooting the concert, right?

Watch your tone with me

You know that you're just carrying a girl, right?

What? So a girl doesn't earn a cut?

We only get the land and shares if it's a boy

Luckily, my brother had a daughter

Give birth to this one, and give me a boy

You're destined to have daughters

What's that got to do with me?

Forget it, we're not making the video

What do you want from me?

What do you think?

They're rich, it's a good opportunity

I don't like them as my parents

You're running out of choices

I don't want it

I'm upset

Don't be so picky

I'm not reincarnating

Iced lemon tea

Make that two, please

Johnny

Keung

You work here?

Nah, I'm just helping out

Still figuring stuff out for your wedding?

We're almost there

Just tying up some loose ends

Also, I want some pictures taken

This is Johnny, we went to college together

And this is his girlfriend Mabel

They've been in a stable relationship for years

Also...

They want to have children

So have you guys planned it out?

Yeah

How many are you planning to have?

I don't mind how many kids we have

A football team

You'll be popping out kids

You've been dating for so long

How many fights have you had?

1, 2, 3, less than 10

They're thinking of moving to Canada

Yeah, education is better over there

And the air is better

But kids might have trouble adapting

I wonder if she'll like the candy there

What?

What?

Don't think about it too much

It's the best arrangement

Let's go with this one, okay?

Okay?

Come over to my store

You asked so many questions

- Is there a discount? - Ask again later when you're back

- Come over... - Sure

So he has nothing to do with it?

I thought you worked here

Come over here

I'm sorry...

So many questions...

What do you think?

This couple seems nice, they're flawless

What is it again?

I'll miss you, I wanna be with you forever

I can come visit you in Canada

I don't want that

Listen to me

You have to be good in your next life

No matter how bad the circumstances

You have to be true to yourself

You understand me?

I understand

Johnny and Mabel are leaving

Kat, you can't be so naughty in the next life

You have to be nice to them

If I know you've been naughty

I'll come and spank your bottom

Kat

We'll see each other soon

So that's it then?

So... we'll each call our ride

So...

Let's keep in touch

Or...

What is it?

Or we could ask everyone out to dinner

Sure

See you soon

Yee, I'm calling my ride downstairs

What are you doing?

- There's always a day for parting... - Go after her...

Go after her...

Fong

I like you

I've liked you for a long time

Is this Kat?

What do you mean?

What's gotten into you?

This is so sudden

I was afraid that I'd never see you again

So?

What do you wanna do?

I want you to be my girlfriend

Together with you

Inseparable

The Master is here

Make way

All ghosts and spirits make way

Go ahead and make way

Don't say I didn't warn you

The Master is on the way

On the way

Master

It's this floor

It's haunted

Yes, Master

What are you three doing here?

It's none of your business, get out of here

This place is sold already

Please get out of here

Can't you see we're all packed up?

What's happening?

Stop arguing...

The Master loves you all

Master, please have mercy

There are no evil spirits here

Get rid of all the wandering spirits

There's no need, there are no ghosts here

You guys can leave

Wait!

There's one left

A little rascal ghost over there

It's Kat

Kat!

Why are you still here?

Fan

By the mercy of the Buddha

Disciple in the name of Patriarch Mao

Land of the river god, horror of the river ghost

In the name of the the ancestral god

Eradicate all the evil spirits

Scripture of Kelly Chen

Staff of the Dragon and Horse Spirits

You've been a bad kid

Fan... you poor thing

Are you okay?

To the hospital

Alright, to the hospital

Kat

Let me protect you

Whip of Hopes & Fortunes!

Whip of Hopes & Fortunes!

First lash

Second lash

Third lash

Fourth lash

Fifth lash

Sixth lash

HomeSafeLash

Kat

Master, I beg you

Kat is a friendly ghost

She's never hurt anybody

She's gonna be reincarnated soon

Please don't kill her, I beg you

Fong

Kat

Why didn't you leave?

I wanna protect you

I wanna protect this place

Why are you such a fool?

It's okay, Fong

We'll play together in the next life

Goodbye, you little rascal

Kat

Kat

We haven't seen Kat ever since

But we'd put down a few pieces of candy every time

Just for a peace of mind

You have to behave

Grandma's gonna come back soon

Alright, say goodbye to grandma

Bye-bye, grandma

Bye-bye

Bye, mom

Let's go to bed

I wanna hear a story

Alright

Tenants of the mall moved out eventually

This is your story

Stop asking me where you came from, okay?

Alright, time for bed

Goodnight

I wanna protect you