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LOVE AND MAGNETS

They're wonderful. Those smiles!

It's true.

That's why it's so great to work with kids.

They speak their minds.

"Truth comes from the mouths of babes." It's true.

- Ouch. - Sorry.

No, it's me.

If you need a lift, I'm heading downtown.

Thanks, my sister's meeting me.

- That's mine. - Allow me...

I've done the affidavits, not the subpoenas.

Darling?

They're late for the Courthouse, I'm late for the airport!

You're an angel, Louise. Thanks.

Idiot!

Manu!

The door was open and I...

In fact, she's my half-sister.

- But she's more than a sister. - Really?

I haven't seen her in 5 years.

You must be dying to see her.

Not really.

It's just that she's a bit of a liar.

A big liar.

Darling! Yes, I'm at the office.

Breathless? I'm in a rush...

I'm on a big adultery case. A huge file.

We said no visits!

I'm too tired at night. You deal with it.

Don't bother me for trifles!

OK. I have to hang up. Bye.

Come with me!

No, I can't.

She has no morals, no principles.

Anything goes. Even screwing my boyfriend.

You don't say.

Yes, she did that to me.

She knew I really loved Jean-Marc. That it was for keeps.

That's why I never came back.

If things turn sour there,

call me on my cell.

I can put you up for a couple of days.

In my hotel.

OK, I get it.

What'll you tell your wife and kids?

"I screwed a dodo in a Holiday Inn"?

OK, forget it.

Yeah, right. Your cheating will catch up with you! Pig!

Truth will out!

Nothing can stop the truth!

What kind of farm did you visit?

A farming co-op in northern Guatemala.

They grow all kinds of things. Like this.

Smells nice, huh?

It's good for digestion.

I don't know its name, I wasn't in the fields.

- I was a teacher, in the daycare. - You were working?

Not officially, the NGO called me a volunteer.

But when I argued with the Colonel,

who thought we hid arms for the guerrillas,

he had me expelled.

- Arms? - In fact, he wanted his pay-off,

but by the time I found out,

it was too late.

Really, I don't understand...

Maybe it's the iron, I eat a lot of greens.

- They must have cost a fortune! - I'll say.

But it'll hurt less if you slap me.

Come with me, dammit!

He won't notice it. He's never here.

Who'll cook for him?

Who'll write him messages?

And my sister's coming, how can I?

I'm with my sister at the airport, she's in bad shape.

She caught something over there.

Some kind of chicken flu, I don't know what.

She has to do some tests. Try to understand,

I can't leave her all alone.

So for Chagnon vs Fredette,

give the file to Monique.

Route my personal calls to my cell.

Thanks, bye.

I'm dining with Zbigniew Kolchik at 7:30.

Where the hell is she?

I should've met her.

She's a world traveler, she'll find you.

Leave her the keys with a note.

This'll take more than a note!

- Ask the janitor. - No way!

I'll take my bags and wait outside. At 6, I'll split.

My car's in the shop! How do I get there?

- I can't wait! - Then don't.

- Anyway, this may not work. - It will, my peach.

My bitch, you mean!

Jeanne?

Jeanne?

Hello!

Sorry, they body-searched me.

Their metal-detector kept beeping, dunno why.

By the time I got out, you'd gone. Sorry.

Doesn't matter.

I tried to call you, but I got a message, so I left.

I've missed you, too.

I'll pay you back, the money you sent, plane fares...

Sure.

I swear! If my aid project's approved, I'll have a budget.

Let's call it tax-deductible. So I help the wetbacks, too!

Thanks.

Going away?

Yes. To Ottawa. I'll be back Monday.

I'm accompanying a key witness for one of our cases.

Sounds important.

I can't tell you now, but it's a cause dear to my heart.

I'd help you, Lili, but I have a lumbago.

There's clothes for you. Keep'em, they're from last year.

I don't believe it!

Yep. I'm getting married.

Who to?

He's my Santa Claus. And his name's Noel!

- You finally found Mr. Right. - Guess so.

Don't mind the mess, it's temporary.

We've built a house. Once it's decorated,

we're moving in.

We can't stay in this dump!

Anyway, he's a real gem.

He'll be a change from selfish artists.

Noel has the five B's.

Beauty, brains, big dick, bucks and wants babies.

That's his major project.

Very important.

A wave-friendly network.

A big invisible shield using microwaves.

It stuns them, inverting their magnetic field.

- Get it? - No.

Neither do I.

But I know that if it works, it'll sell like hotcakes.

His boss may make him a partner. Imagine. He's only 28.

- 28? - Yes, but he's very mature.

Anyway, people say I look 25.

Still...

What do you think?

- Yellow? - Gold!

White's no longer compulsory. Like at tennis.

He's moving to a building in Laval.

Leaves at 3 PM, gets back at 10 AM the next day.

He doesn't keep office hours. But I have to.

So we only see each other on weekends.

Now he's there every day, his deadline's in two weeks.

- You never see each other? - It's a no-no before the ceremony!

The night before, not two months!

Anyway, we've decided to play a game.

We leave messages on the fridge. Cute, huh?

- Pepper steak? - I gave up meat.

Figures!

The way animals get treated!

We have no right to use them to feed ourselves.

If cows were carnivorous, they'd have no guilt about eating you.

- Very clever. - OK, but that's how it is.

Write the messages for me. He won't know the difference.

- Of course he will. - Bet you he won't.

Ouch!

He doesn't know I'm going, or that you're back.

You didn't tell him?

He's too busy

to ask about your latest screw-up.

The Embassy guy said you were OK.

You're so concerned!

How about you?

Your last postcard was dated July.

At least, he knows I exist.

I even showed him the photos I have of you.

But I doubt he'd recognize you.

Let's try it. If he notices, we'll say it's a game.

- Called? - The game?

- No, the guy you're joining. - Lili, I'm getting married!

- It's Manu. - Uh?

- Bad timing, what could I do? - Tell him to fuck off!

He dumped you twice.

Three times, you missed one.

I can't believe it! Manu Pouliotte.

Poulio. Lives in Paris now.

Poor Paris!

Since he quit the violin, he's doing great.

A bigshot's coming to hear him this weekend.

Zbidou Koldshit, or something.

Weren't you through with selfish artists?

He's leaving Sunday.

Do what you want, but I won't stay here.

Tell Noel you're on a business trip.

A legal secretary on a 5-day business trip. He won't buy it.

Then you think of something.

Your love affairs! The last one hurt me for 5 years!

Wanna discuss Jean-Marc?

Forget it.

I'll go to a hotel and catch the first plane out.

With what money?

- You blackmailing me? - I'm trying!

- Give the money to street kids. - You leave me no choice.

You won't help me. I want my coat back.

- Very clever. - OK, but that's how it is.

You leave before 10 AM and come back after 4 PM.

We don't know the neighbours.

And the janitor?

Sorry!

Be careful, he's a real weasel.

Your game's complicated.

Noel's so into his work, he won't notice.

- Hi Lili, you OK? - No.

- Ouch! - Dammit, my hand.

You'll see, it'll be fun.

It'd be more fun if Noel knew.

A foursome's better, we'd make teams.

Don't do anything dumb.

No, I won't wreck your love-marriage.

- Sorry? - What?

- You're marrying him? - Didn't I tell you?

- No. - You didn't give me time.

You two must have lots to discuss.

Have a nice trip, lovebirds.

Bye. Manu!

Hey! Hey! Youhou!

Second Chance

Sorry, I'm not buying.

Lili!

Fabulous!

You're back!

- You been on the moon? - I'll explain.

I bought the stock of a 2nd-hand bookstore.

This used to be a shooting gallery.

My dad helped me to start this store. But I can't pay two rents.

- This is so cool! - Tadam.

Is it sheepskin?

No, it's fake.

Take what you want, make yourself at home.

I don't want to intrude.

I'm single these days, you'll keep me company.

Marie-Eve, thanks. You've saved my life!

I'm so glad.

I love you.

I wanted to buy this. Sorry.

I saw a light and...

Not to worry, I'm coming.

He's cute.

I realized my living room looks like Vermeer's studio.

Fascinating, no?

Quite a coincidence.

- Or a sign. - A sign of what?

Nothing yet, but it may be a lead.

Signs keep coming, then become meaningful.

Jung called that...

synchronicity.

Baldaquin calls it fate.

Don't joke: even trivial books bear a message.

The Countess Wore Green Gloves

The trouble is, if you're receptive,

the signs come fast and furious.

It's crazy.

The very word I needed. "Crazy."

I'm teasing.

Ah... OK.

Sure.

Life is absurd.

We all need some fun.

In five years,

- you had no one? - No!

Nothing? Not even a fling?

An affair?

- An impulse? - No.

Something dumb when you were tipsy.

- I quit drinking. - You're kidding me!

What do you think?

I'm not interested in flings or one-nighters.

To me, love is all or nothing.

I'm not looking for fun.

Ouch!

I keep getting shocks.

Must be the electric heating.

- Wear a glove. - A glove?

What are you doing?

- Look. - Leave it alone! What is it?

- Is it for her lumbago? - No, they're anti-depressants.

It dates from my burn-out.

Why take risks? You're getting married.

Right, I'm about to settle down.

These are my last moments of freedom.

You crying?

I'm wild about you...

You love Manu, is that it?

With Manu, it's just a sex trip.

Then is Noel... a money trip?

Noel is no trip at all, that's the problem.

He's got a bit of everything,

but the result's a bit drab.

- But you love him? - More or less.

Are you leaving?

I'm sleeping at a friend's. But don't worry,

I'll be back for your game.

Do what you want, I'm not your mom.

By the way, I lost a glove.

- Really? - Look around,

Manu just gave them to me.

- Where you going? - To digest.

Can you buy me some cigarettes?

She's got a heart of stone.

She deserves to...

Fall in love?

Mission impossible.

That's because she has a negative approach.

Maybe if we switch her to positive...

Crazy Glue.

"I wore...

"your T-shirt...

"So I'd smell you on me...

"All night long."

Two kisses.

No, three kisses.

Triple X.

You get it?

I'm serious. It may really work.

I call that a positive vengeance.

Falling in love isn't vengeance.

With a workaholic, it is!

But he has lofty goals, he wants to reduce brain cancer.

She says he has the 5B's.

Beauty, brains...

wants babies...

That's only three.

Blond? Brown?

Bleached? Burly?

Babbler? Blistery?

Bi-sexual?

No, with a B...

Blinkers? Does he wear specs?

No... I don't remember.

Specs, that's my type.

Know a cute nerd with specs?

Like Peter Parker.

Uptight in life, but in bed he's Spiderman!

Odd that Jeanne never showed you his photo.

She thinks portraits are dumb.

Don't you want to know what he looks like?

The less I know the better.

I said 11 AM.

And to knock downstairs...

Sorry.

Doesn't matter. He's there.

We can visit it.

- You don't look like one. - Ah.

I don't mind. You can't be worse than them.

Couple of cold fish.

They leave in 3 months, I can't wait.

I don't want to intrude.

Don't worry, Mrs. Bleau. They have to do it.

- The man's in the shower. - He needn't wash.

His bride'll clean him out.

Yes?

Mr. Noel!

- Oui? - A visitor.

- May I?... - Go ahead.

Fine. I'll handle it.

Sorry, he said 11 AM.

I'll come back.

That's weird...

Maybe it's a sign.

Delighted, Mrs. Bleau.

Yes, yes...

You're young for a Mrs.

- What's your first name? - Juli-enne. Julienne.

- Julienne? Unusual. - It's not very nice.

- May I call you Mrs. Bleau? - Yes, if you wish.

- You're Mr. Noel? - No. I mean...

Just call me Noel.

Undress...

I mean take off your coat...

I'll keep mine on.

Come look.

Come on.

I was joking, but it's true.

From one angle, with a little imagination...

The floor fits, the walls fit, the windows fit.

It's where he painted all his pictures.

- Found a meaning yet? - No.

But now you can help me. You're part of the game.

This CD got me started.

Think there's a hidden meaning?

- And you? - No.

A juice?

No, thanks.

Play it, if you want.

Uh... yes... why not?

You and your girlfriend moving in?

Huh...

- The janitor said that? - Yes.

What else did he say?

You're lesbians, but he doesn't mind.

No kids, makes less noise.

Ah. Great.

I get shocks all the time.

Well, sometimes...

Did the janitor talk about me?

Uh... yes.

- What did he say? - Well...

Go on, tell me the truth.

That... you're a cold fish

who'll get fleeced.

He's a snoop.

It's a theremin.

Sounds like the human voice, the violin...

Or a metal detector.

Same principle, but much harder to play.

See, it's a theremin.

Tear-a-man.

I play with the waves, see?

No, I don't see.

We can't see them, but they exist.

Like our love.

- Manu, stop it, or I'll leave. - No, Jeanne. Sorry.

I won't say another word.

Sounds like music for monsters.

- You like it? - No.

- Sorry, I don't want to insult you. - No matter.

It's not mine, it's Jeanne's.

Jeanne's your fiancée?

- You're very curious. - Well... yes.

Few people get married these days.

- You must really be in love. - Guess so.

- You're not sure? - Love doesn't exist.

It's like God, a creation of the mind.

No matter where it comes from.

If the mind created it, then love exists.

- I read that in here. - That's good...

You started playing without me. I like that.

Sorry, Mrs. Bleau, I have an emergency.

- Could you come back-- - It's a pleasure.

I mean...

it's no problem. So much so, that it's a pleasure.

Thanks a lot... Mrs. Bleau.

So how was it?

None of your business.

Oh, the place?

I mean, I have to see others to compare.

Mrs. Bleau?

Huh... yeah.

It's been rented.

Shit!

Penelope...

What a surprise!

Jeanne! Jeanne! Jeanne...

Wasn't the walrus playing with you?

- Sorry? - Guy with whiskers.

Victor! He has swollen joints.

She agreed to fill in. It's a big help...

How kind.

Jeanne, it's been over for a year.

But she knows my music. And Kolzig's coming.

- Where are you going? - To get cigarettes.

I thought I'd told you.

You didn't give me time.

Did chance or fate bring him here?

He lives close by. Needed a book. Makes sense.

- Hum... - Don't.

It's true, he's special.

He's funny and warm.

A bit gluey, but not boring.

You can chat with him at Xmas parties.

- Are you crazy? - Noel...

No. Now he's seen me, I have to disappear.

It actually suits me.

The Power of Magnets

Look, this is weird.

Isn't that a sign?

No.

No, that's...

a gift.

From heaven?

No...

from me.

I put it there to surprise you.

Ah.

Thanks.

It's fun.

Sure is. You'll see, it's really silly.

She explains how you can cast a spell

to make someone fall in love.

May not be clever, but it works.

It works...

Cut it out!

"I wore your T-shirt, so I'd smell you on me."

If she wants your odour, she misses you.

Jeanne?

Who knows? Maybe she does have a heart.

- Or it's those pills! - It's just for fun.

But she has a reason for this message game.

Why do I go along with your schemes, Michel?

Jeanne has no idea that I'm there.

If she comes back, I'll say you left early.

And as to that girl...

- I showed her the apartment... - OK, OK, OK!

What's in it for me? Rationally, what's in it for me?

- A kick in the ass. - I don't need one.

Noel, you're 28! You gotta make choices.

- Don't let women make them. - Not true.

I make choices, but slowly.

A kick would speed things up.

Timing's bad!

I've only got 10 days to finish that job.

- You were rushed to get married. - No, Jeanne was.

I'm off, settle in. Call with your answer.

Like, "I missed you so I sniffed your panties?"

Don't worry, I'll find something romantic.

You will?

- I'll what? - I don't know...

Romantic, sounds odd coming from you.

It's not a good time, he's practising.

- Listen to this. - OK, but hurry up.

"To get to sleep, I used the hand,

"that soon will wear

- a wedding band." - What's that?

Sounds like a limerick.

I like it.

Maybe he's not so boring.

I have to get going.

Take a pencil...

I'm very touched...

by your hand...

and...

Maybe, I can help.

Just off the top of my head...

"We may be far apart,

but you've reached my heart."

You kidding me?

- No. - It's corny.

It's a love message.

You know, love...

Love's a cutesy way of describing a good fuck!

Dammit, I don't believe it.

I have to go.

You flipping, Manu?

- Dammit, Jeanne! - I'm sorry.

Did that interfere with your...

- I wonder what he'll answer me. - Answer her.

- That's what I said. - Ah.

- What you wrote is great. - You liked it?

Lay it on thick, it's super kitschy.

There he is!

"We may be far apart, but you reached my heart."

It's working!

- She's falling in love. - Jeanne's just being cynical.

Why do people associate love with the heart?

Love is in the brain.

As long as it's somewhere, it exists.

I thought you'd given up on love.

Mrs. Bleau is rekindling my faith.

Watch out, Romeo. Maybe she's bad news.

What could happen? She's gay!

Why did she ask so many questions about marriage?

Because she's a woman.

A sexist explanation.

Plausible, but sexist.

- I have to go. - Thanks.

Tell her I'll come when I'm done on the third floor.

You're not bothering them?

No...

I'm bothered.

- I'll explain. - Bye.

OK.

- We'll go pay a little visit. - Yes.

- He reminds me of your ex. - Jean-Marc? No way.

- I meant physically. - Not at all.

He's married. Has 2 kids.

I pity his wife, if she has a sister!

Five years, and you're not over it?

Two-timing is unforgivable in my book.

Get a new book! Look in the adult section.

What are you getting at?

I don't know, Lili, but...

You traveled a lot, but your heart stood still.

Principles don't have to move.

- What are you doing? - Come on, we'll lose him!

- You crazy? - Yes!

- Come on! - Wait!

Not too fast.

Inhale, exhale.

I don't like this.

We're just two girls out shopping!

He may see us reflected in a window.

- He's gone! - No, he's in the locksmith's.

Look, you like those boots?

Or a nice suit? What's he doing?

I'm not game for this.

There he is!

Hello?

Helen?

Listen...

Yes. Calm down, Helen, I'm coming.

OK. Bye.

I ring, I knock, and I have a coffee.

I came to phone, but I'm out of coins.

I have another coffee to get change. I call.

I get his voice mail, lose my quarter.

I have another coffee to phone your cell.

I should get a cell, but they're vulgar.

Then I thought: He's gone back to Miss Snooty.

She's just after his money. I should know.

That's what I did with Robert.

Give him a break, he's carrying a big load now.

I know I'm wrong. But I can't help it.

I'm 12 years older, I don't understand half of what he says, but I love him.

I really love him!

I bet she's his mistress.

She looks more like his aunt.

I brought him some underwear.

Look what I found.

I bought him that.

Or his mom. He brought her his laundry.

I made you a key.

So you can wait for him inside.

Thanks, you're a dear.

What's that?

A gift from my dad.

You've no right.

Neither does he.

He's as bad as Jeanne.

If he falls in love, she'll taste her own medicine.

How can he marry that stuck-up nobody? A lawyer's secretary.

- Legal secretary. - Who cares?

You know her. What has she got over me?

She's single.

Thanks for helping us.

Helping him! I lent him the studio so he can decide.

Hypocrite! I'd like to punch him.

We're having fun.

He cheats on his fiancée. This is a riot!

- He doesn't deserve you. - He deserves Jeanne?

Who says he's cheating?

What else?

Anyway, it's none of our business.

But we changed the messages, we took photos.

Ouch! Dammit that hurt!

Another one!

I'm fed up.

Doesn't matter.

Your astral body's overloaded.

Your solar chakra's clogging your iliac,

blocking the harmonic flux.

You're in knots.

OK.

She's not afraid of losing you!

How can you know that?

I lost you.

Shit!

It goes way back.

It seems to come from...

being abandoned, a betrayal...

- A mourning, perhaps? - Yes.

- Yes what? - All three.

I never knew my dad,

my mom died when I was eight. My half-sister took care of me.

Later, she took care of my boyfriend, too.

We'll need a big one.

I'll hook up the positive end to purge you.

It's cold.

Soon you'll feel nice and warm.

It's the principle of polarity.

Polarity is the law of opposites.

Paule, I'm off to see that apartment.

It's the law of the opposites,

their attraction and repulsion.

You get a shock when you come in contact with anything

that opposes your energy.

When you don't get one, you're in contact with something

compatible or complementary.

Aoummmm...

Aoummmm...

It tickles.

Yes. Aoummmm...

That's good...

Purge yourself.

Being in love isn't serious.

Not at all.

If Helen really loved me, she'd leave her husband.

Or would she only leave him if I loved her more?

Do I think Jeanne doesn't love me,

or do I think it because I don't love her?

Or does what you think make you think what you do?

We don't think enough!

You afraid of winding up all alone?

Me? Well, let me say...

Yes.

Why not see both on the sly?

We're in 2004!

It won't work out in the long run.

You're ahead of your time, but also way behind.

Is that bad?

No, it's charming.

Is that your writing?

You can't write that. Give it to me!

Jeanne is due!

Jeanne is coming.

She may come any moment!

Think of your boyfriend!

I'm through with all that.

- But not with Jeanne! - It's not the same.

Please. Please...

Hands off.

OK.

"You, too, touched mine.

Since then it's thine."

There's a PS: "Soft is the hide, but it's better inside."

With a winking smiley-face.

Is he putting me on?

No, he's playing...

It's like a lover's tryst.

Nice pussy, let me shaft you.

You said that!

He's being loving. Love, Jeanne!

Can't be him.

Or a side you don't know.

It's been a year, we know each other.

I've known enough men

to figure him out.

Some signs are final.

Yesterday, I made him Indonesian gori,

with satay sauce.

Chicken with peanuts!

He ate it all. There was enough for two.

Maybe he shared it with someone.

Why worry, if you don't love him?

I never said that. Just that he was a bit boring.

Anyway...

you can't love him, if you cheat.

Think he loves me?

Ask him.

Well?

Jeanne... Jeanne...

Hey!

- Jeanne... - Hello?

Are you screwing?

Are you through?

Your lumbago better?

I'm here.

What do I write?

- Bingo. - Write bingo if you want, who cares?

I told her it's over, but she hangs on.

I noticed. It's lovely.

It'll give Zmignou Coccix ideas for your video.

Don't lecture me!

I thought we were just a sex trip!

What do you want? Money? Is that what you want?

Here's money. Here!

OK, it's peanuts. I spent all I had on those gloves.

I live in a dump. In winter, it's freezing.

But for a couple, it's a warm nest.

- To make babies? - Yes, babies! Two, eight babies.

- You're a bad liar. - Unlike you!

Takes practice.

- Hello. - Yes... Is Helen there?

It's me.

Noel gave me your number.

It's to invite you to his fiancée's shower.

What's all this?

He's getting married. Didn't he tell you?

I thought you were a close friend.

Is that you Jeanne?

No.

Your number's on the display screen.

Uh...

We must talk. I--

Oh, no...

Aoummm...

A display screen!

So much for anonymity!

Relax.

I'm an idiot.

If she tells Noel or Jeanne,

- I'm done for. - Shh!

If she knew Jeanne, she'd have known it wasn't her.

So it means that...

I'm trying to purge you.

No need!

It's not clever, it doesn't work.

Cool it, Lili! It's just a game.

I always play for real.

"Do you love me for real?"

- That's what she wrote. - What the f...

- But Noel-- - How did we sink so low?

Yes, but...

You and your crap...

She started it.

We just dished it back.

Dished it back!

Mata Hari?

It's Tiger Lily.

- Mata Hari, I'm listening. - He's not moving.

Tiger...

- Auntie's here with a new guy. - What?

What kind?

Wears specs.

Switch to plan B.

- But be careful. - Will do.

Cool it, Noel!

Why would she do something like this?

- Please listen! - Wait... Here's a theory:

Mrs. Bleau snitched on us to Jeanne.

Snitched? Why?

She's Jeanne's friend.

Jeanne has a lesbian friend?

No.

Mrs. Bleau!

- What's she doing there? - Can we talk?

This is a sign!

Don't freak, I'll find out.

- I'm not freaking. - Listen!

Take care of Helen.

OK.

- Can't this wait? - Jeanne phoned me.

- You're a decorator? - No, designer.

Ah.

The janitor said you were an engineer.

That's true. Designing's my hobby.

Sorry...

but I don't like liars.

Neither do I, Mrs. Bleau.

That's me!

Yes.

OK...

Mrs. Bleau, since you love truth,

I must admit that

we didn't meet by chance at the bookstore.

I saw you and followed you. Don't know why.

- An impulse. - Or heartfelt!

Just kidding.

This isn't an emergency.

I want to discuss it in person so you won't worry.

Helen came to see me.

Your ex? That nut?

She's not nuts. Disturbed.

- I'm not disturbed. - What did she want?

It was about our wedding.

You called to tell her.

Me? I don't know her.

She was hearing voices.

That's possible.

- I'll go talk to her. - I have to go.

I almost forgot.

You had a weird message.

Weird?

Now what's Julie done?

I'm on CBC in 15 minutes!

I thought we'd settled things.

So did I...

I thought we had...

- Then why bring it up? - Yes, why?

She's crazy...

Noel?

I offer you the world, you opt for the burbs.

I offer you passion,

you opt for a patio. Patio-passion!

But at least my patio in the burbs is a sure thing.

You don't believe me?

You've said that four times. In time, a trout gets wary.

You, a trout? More like a moray.

What's that?

A carnivorous eel, a man-eater!

- I don't get it. - Sure, you don't...

Who do you mean?

There was Robert, Jos, Sebastien--

You cheated on me, why can't I cheat on you?

- I never cheated-- - For you, it's not cheating!

Penelope, Christiane, Guina?l...

- Penelope, no way. - Sandrine, wasn't cheating?

- It was when we met. - I stopped counting them!

Later, I was faithful.

I found out you cheated, too. So why not?

Look in the mirror. You'll see a liar!

I love you, dammit!

If you love me, stop saying "dammit"! I can't take it.

I love you, shit! That better?

- Easy, I rarely drink. - It's just to pose.

- Not answering? - Doesn't matter.

I must confess, too. I followed you with a friend.

- Impulse, or heartfelt? - No, a felt hat.

We were shopping...

We saw you with a woman wearing a red hat,

and wondered if she was your fiancée or your mistress.

Do you mind?

No, it was Helen, an old customer.

I lost twenty bucks.

I was sure she was Jeanne.

- Is there a problem? - Yes.

You're missing something.

I can't wear that!

- It'll fit. - It's sacrilegious.

Sacrilegious?

You mustn't see it before the ceremony.

And not on someone else. Jeanne'd hate it.

What you don't know, can't hurt.

She may have done worse. Who knows?

Right, who knows?

Sorry, I just wanted to speak to her...

OK. Time out. I have to sleep.

Sorry, could I use it?

Well...

Thanks.

Bobby? I finished early.

Can you take me to the mall now?

To pick up Delphine's riding jacket, then collect Sasha's bike.

You have a meeting?

With your board of directors? Can't you postpone it?

You're a dear. I'm wild about you.

See you soon. Bye.

Thank you.

That bitch!

She's mean to her man!

You could have asked...

a friend, instead of me.

- Like Helen... - No.

I want to draw you.

You're like a Vermeer model.

Falsely naive,

mysterious...

As if you had a secret.

Really?

But your skin is too tanned.

I'm back from the South.

- Do you go there often? - I work there.

But you need an apartment?

Yes. I'm not leaving immediately.

A financial problem.

With your restaurant?

Yes...

The weasel told me.

Speaking of eating...

Mrs. Bleau, will you share my lunch?

No. I'll lose control.

Exactly.

You must taste this. Cooked by an artist.

- No. - Make an exception.

I'll eat the salad.

All right.

Well?

- It's good. - There's a spice in it.

- Cardamom. - Are you sure?

Almost.

I bet Jeanne thought cardamom was a fabric.

It's not like her.

Oh! Big question.

What'll you answer to that?

I don't know.

- You love her for real? - But does she love me for real?

Start by answering for yourself.

How can you bear living apart from each other?

I mean...

Love doesn't thrive on distance and silence.

From "The Countess Wore Green Gloves"?

No, from here. Or from here.

Wherever it's from, do you think of her?

Do you miss her?

Though you're apart, aren't you bound

by an invisible tie,

by a powerful feeling?

What did I do?

- Forgive me. - It was me.

- It's the first time... - With a guy!

What?

Mrs. Bleau!

Mrs. Bleau...

I insisted you wear it.

I'll mend it and bring it back tomorrow.

Can't you stay? We should talk.

No, it's fine.

Calm down.

You'll be OK, Lili.

It took all my mental strength to get away.

It's like when two magnets attract.

Why, two? I jumped on him.

But he certainly responded!

Help! What'll I do?

Listen, Lili... Sometimes you meet someone, and it clicks.

When the person isn't free, it causes pain all around.

But when it's stronger than you...

do what everyone does.

- Have fun. - No!

I'm not looking for fun.

But it seems you're having some.

He's my sister's fiancé!

Sure. Did that stop her?

No news is good news.

Talk to you soon. I'll leave my cell on.

OK. I get it.

Jeanne, will you marry me?

Manu, stop. Your show hasn't started.

I'm not pretending. I'm serious.

It's for life. I've thought about you all year,

every day. Just seeing you again was...

I want kids with you.

Maybe not eight. We'll start with one. And a patio.

OK, it won't be easy. I'm a pain, it's true.

But so are you. That's how it is.

We'll get along, dammit. Shit!

An invisible bond unites us.

We're cut from the same cloth.

Right, we're similar. That worries me.

Hello.

- What are you doing here? - I'm lost.

Manu's playing twice, you've got two days!

- And Noel isn't coming Saturday. - I met him.

Shit, my hand!

I met him. He doesn't know who I am.

Thinks I'm Mrs. Bleau, a lesbian.

If you love him, I'll leave. Buy me a ticket, I'll go for good!

I knew it!

Now what have you cooked up?

Well, I...

changed one of your messages,

and suddenly boring Noel was... pretty attractive.

So you phoned Helen?

Yes.

I don't believe it!

The one time I ask you to do something,

you screw me up!

- Just play the game, don't cheat! - I gotta cheat without cheating?

Don't try to understand me. Just help me!

Find me a doctor, shit! A doctor! What?!

Go on! Jeanne, come back, please!

If you leave, we're through.

- If you love him, come back. - If you love me, you'll stay!

Ah!!!

If you love me, let go of me!

And you, go back there!

This way.

I wanted you to fall in love with Noel.

- It may be working. - Really?

I don't know.

Noel's changed.

I missed something. I'm confused.

- First come back. - Not right away.

I can't leave Manu like that.

You don't like him, but I think he really loves me.

And you?

I told you, it's just a sex trip.

You work so hard at it, the sex must be amazing!

Lili, please. Go back to Montreal.

I'll fix everything.

You're right, this whole thing is crazy.

But, I'm in a bind.

I need you...

Wait until Sunday. Can I count on you?

Do it for me.

OK.

Sorry.

I apologize. Mr. Pouliot should be back shortly.

The concert will begin as soon as possible.

Thank you. Sorry for the delay.

I'll sleep here tonight.

He's not coming tomorrow.

So I'll tidy up.

And write a last message. Then it's bye-bye.

- Let them work it out. - You should be glad.

The plan worked, they're in love.

Yes.

- All's well that ends well. - Right.

Oops. My chicken.

- You eat chicken now? - Never mind.

If hens had teeth, they'd gobble you up.

- Bye. - Bye.

Jeanne?

Yes?

We have to talk.

I didn't imagine you like this.

You seem young.

Everyone says I look 25.

Shit!

Michel sent me Noel to computerize our swimming pool.

It lasted a year. We met in secret.

Then Noel got fed up. Wanted me to leave with him,

but I had Robert, my kids...

Like a fool, I left him.

No new messages.

We're in love, Jeanne.

I've left Robert. We're leaving together.

Noel hasn't had the guts to tell you, but I want to spare you the pain.

Understand?

Wow.

- You think it's funny? - Yes.

Because if you believe in fate, it takes over.

Listen to this:

the girl whose phone you used is a pal of mine.

And it's not just chance. It's a sign.

A sign

that you'll get out of my life and Noel's.

In exchange, I won't snitch

to the Robert you adore.

It'll stay between us, it's our secret.

- You blackmailing me? - I'm trying!

You're completely mad!

Don't leave, the game isn't over.

You've reached Noel Valois' voicemail.

Noel, if you care for me, call!

I love you.

Are those knots gone?

I saw the address: we were destined to meet.

Yes.

Quite a hat!

Keep the change.

Thanks. I won't say no. I'm opening a snack bar.

I won't leave you my card, fate will reunite us.

- Manu, stop! - No, it's all over!

You don't deserve me. Go back to your shitty life!

The guy sitting in front of you was Zbigniew Kolzig.

I'm sorry.

He found my music "innovatory, provocative",

"experimentally disturbing". That'll be in the liner notes.

- Stop! - Thanks for your creative help.

Jeanne?

Jeanne?

- Ah. - Ah.

It's you.

- You're not with Helen? - No.

No, I need to cool out before I tell her it's over.

You've decided.

At last.

- What? - What?

Come look!

Your bottle's empty.

Those pills make her flip.

Jeanne noticed the dress was gone.

Worse, Mrs. Bleau brought it back.

She said she'd stop by today.

- She wouldn't do that. - She wouldn't?

True, you know all about her now.

You made her spill the beans! No need to worry any more.

"I'll take that wedding dress."

Sure! Take her toothbrush and vibrator, too!

Now you're flipping!

She left a message. I'm not supposed to be here.

"See you Monday, darling." She wrote it in advance.

Why didn't it say "See you tomorrow", instead of Monday?

Means she knew I'd stop by today.

- She's been stringing us along. - Quit flipping!

Mrs. Bleau snitched. She knows Jeanne.

She can't, she thought Helen was Jeanne.

- Maybe she lied to you. - But why?

Who knows? Maybe she's a private eye.

Sure!

Who admitted she followed me!

- Why did she follow you? - I don't know.

Maybe she's attracted to me.

Michel! She's gay!

Michel?

She's headed south, and doesn't like liars.

Maybe she's bisexual, she kissed me.

You look upset.

Yeah, it never happened before.

- Noel! - Yes?

Come here.

What is it?

What's that?

One sign too many.

- Take your shower. - No shower.

It's over.

- I'll confess to Jeanne. - She'll dump you. You want that?

What? No.

Dunno, I'm confused. Where you going?

To "Second Chance". I owe it to my heart!

Not your heart, your brain!

- Call me when you have news. - Yes, Noel!

I'll show him! Two can play at this!

Mrs. Bleau!

- You OK? - Great!

My car broke down in a car-wash.

Go inside, you'll catch cold.

You wanted to talk to me?

Yes, I...

I found this in my kitchen.

I wondered where I'd put it...

Take it off, you're soaked!

I'll say I am.

I must have left it there by...

By?

If I said by chance, would you believe me?

No.

OK, intentionally.

A woman who drops her glove intentionally

for a man to recover... that's a sign, no?

Could be.

- Tea or coffee? - Tea.

Mrs. Bleau...

Enough of this.

Julienne, I have to tell you...

I pretended...

to be someone else...

My name's Michel,

Noel's a friend who has to settle his problems

with Helen. I'm sorry.

I got trapped in my own game. I couldn't come clean.

I didn't trust you. But now I can't go on.

If you never want to see me again...

Julienne...

What is it?

Julienne?

Noel... Michel...

I also have to tell you something.

I put on an act, too.

My name's not Julienne, it's Julie.

I'm Jeanne's sister.

- Julie, the sister of... - Back from a trip...

She asked me to stay here

while she's in Ottawa, screwing Manu.

Really? You kidding me?

No...

Right, his cell's broken!

Sorry, I have to reach Noel. It's all my fault.

Julie, wait for me here, I beg you.

Jeanne?

You're back?

I came to settle my affairs.

Jeanne!

You've been having fun!

Jeanne, let me explain.

- You don't need to. - You won't believe it, it's crazy.

Crazy, huh?

You can keep my dress, I could only use it for rags.

Jeanne...

Take your things, and clear out!

I'll even buy you a first class ticket!

- Let me tell you the truth! - I'll tell you the truth!

You sleeping with Noel hasn't made us even!

Not at all!

I really loved Jean-Marc!

We were attracted by an invisible force. It's true!

- I loved him! - Why didn't you marry him?

Because of you.

I couldn't cope with the guilt!

When I was with him, all I thought of was you!

I promised it to mom.

You weren't at the hospital...

Mom made me promise I'd take care of you

like my own daughter.

I tried to, but I was young, too!

When you took off, who looked after me? No one!

While you traveled, I stayed here alone,

spending $20,000 on a shrink and pills!

Jeanne...

Forgive me, Lili,

for putting you through all this. But I...

I love you!

I hide it well, but I love you.

I love you, too.

Jeanne?

Oh, it's you...

It's... we...

You can have her.

Just take good care of her.

She doesn't know...

Jeanne! Jeanne...

- Manu? - Jeanne. I don't want to lose you.

Why are you here? And your concert?

Canceled. I'm sick...

Over you.

Sorry.

- Hi, there... - Sorry.

Marie-Eve, delighted.

Noel.

Don't tell me...

Fuck that.

Can I buy you a coffee?

Sure...

But I have to stop by the post-office.

Really?

I owe Baldaquin a letter of apology.

But, anyway...

"The triumph of fate"

"Jeanne, I'm not leaving. If you need a roommate, think of me.

Your sister, who loves you. Julie."

Julie...

LOVE AND MAGNETS

Translation: A. Whitelaw for Kinograph