Original subtitles

- [theme music playing] - Kiff! ♪

♪ Kiff! Kiff! ♪

♪ Kiff! Kiff! Kiff! ♪

♪ Kiff! Kiff! Kiff! Kiff! ♪

♪ Kiff! Kiff! Kiff! Kiff! ♪

♪ Kiff! Kiff! Kiff! Kiff! Kiff! Kiff! Kiff! Kiff! ♪

♪ Kiff! ♪

[♪ theme music concludes ♪]

[both chuckle]

[narrator] Brought to you by Rhonda Bader's Sport Ball Deflaters.

Spoil sports like a spoilsport.

[♪ rebellious hard rock music playing ♪]

- [♪ music stops] - [birds chirping]

[♪ music resumes ♪]

[♪ music stops ♪]

[motorbike engine roaring in the distance]

[♪ music resumes ♪]

[♪ music stops ♪]

[motorbike approaching]

[♪ music resumes ♪]

- [motorbike tires screech] - [engine roars, stops]

- [♪ music stops] - [knock on door]

- Fun Uncle Pat! - Fun Uncle Pat!

Pat, we're so grateful you agreed to babysit on your weekend off.

Martin, Beryl, I'm deeply honored that you're trusting me to babysit

while you go to Martin's clown school reunion.

Deeply honored.

[car engine starts]

- [tires screech] - [horn honks]

- Coast is clear. Unleash the fun! - [♪ triumphant sting ♪]

[yells]

Your parents trusting me to babysit is a very big deal for me.

They're starting to see me as a responsible adult.

So this weekend, we're only gonna do safe,

responsible activities.

I could've gone to the water park this weekend with my family.

Huge miscalculation.

[♪ whimsical music playing ♪]

I guess he just wants to be seen as Responsible Uncle Pat for once.

It's kind of sweet.

[sighs] You're right.

One boring weekend won't kill us.

Let's help him out.

It's time for water!

I read in a magazine that kids need to drink water.

But sip it slowly! No choking!

- [muffled speech] - [muffled gasp]

[guest, faintly] Oh, yeah. M'kay.

[muffled dialogue continues]

Uncle Pat, we can barely hear.

You gotta protect your delicate growing eardrums.

Now let's find something educational to watch.

[gasps dramatically]

Oh, news!

...advising that all Tabletonians lock their doors

until these so-called Glamdals are caught.

This gang of snooty vandals has unleashed a crime spree

on our quiet town, breaking into homes

when families are out, stealing all of their old,

worn-out furniture, and replacing everything

with way fancier stuff.

But is it crime? Or a conceptual art performance?

That's the question these Glamdals are posing.

But it is crime.

I think Boho Robots is on Table Plus right now.

[groans] Ah! Martin loves this remote.

Can't take the chance that your young hands

might drop it and break it. Allow me to click around.

[♪ shimmering chime plays ♪]

- Next. Next. - Next. Next.

- Next. - Next.

[Kiff] Next. [excitedly] Wait, go up?

- Next. - Next.

Next. Next.

All this navigating's making me hungry.

- Yes! I will feed you! - [♪ dramatic upbeat music ♪]

Children need food!

It was in that same magazine!

Ooh, will you make us some of your Pat's Famous Cheesy French Fries?

- [♪ music abruptly stops ♪] - No...

but I will make...

- Pat's Healthy Beet Jelly Sandwiches! - [♪ triumphant sting ♪]

Now with zero sugar!

You sure neither of you have a beet allergy?

[chuckles] Yeah. Can't be too careful.

Eat up! [groans] Ah!

Wait! You need napkins.

[♪ mysterious music playing ♪]

[♪ music stops ♪]

- [screaming] No! - [♪ dramatic sting]

No. [sobs] This is a disaster.

Oh, no, I can't. [crying] I'm just trying to get it out.

I just... [sobs] It's so red. Sweetie, stand still.

Stay still! [sobs]

Okay, the Internet says we need a textured cloth

that will scrub into the crannies of Kiff's fur.

- Hmm. - [♪ mysterious music plays ♪]

Uncle Pat, really, I don't mind the red fur. It's cool.

- It's punk. - Are you kidding?

Martin and Beryl can't find out I dyed their child!

I got it!

Look, Pat, it's working. [chuckles]

It's okay. The red's coming out. [giggles]

- [♪ dramatic sting ♪] - Barry, what are you doing?!

That's Beryl's wedding dress!

[groans]

[screaming in the distance]

Kids, what was that screaming? Is everyone okay?

- [screaming over phone] - Oh, sorry, Pat.

We were watching a video my family sent of them

all going down a big slide at the water park.

It was just fun screaming. Everything's fine.

- [♪ dramatic orchestral music] - [sniffs] Bleach fumes!

Toxic bleach fumes!

Kids, quick, get out of the house!

I'll meet you in the backyard!

- [♪ music stops] - [clears throat]

I don't know if I'm enjoying myself, but I'm glad we're doing this as a team.

[sighs emphatically in relief]

[panting] Okay, okay. I opened every door and window.

Now, let's just sit quietly out here for six to eight hours

while the house airs out. [inhales] Sound fun?

Oh, okay, so we're just gonna... sit here and... do nothing

for... eight hours?

[chuckling] Not nothing. I deflated this basketball

for you to play with.

[sighing] Oh.

[groans] Ah! Hold on, hold on, hold on. [grunts]

We have to get this... around. Okay, and...

go nuts!

[sniffing]

Smells normal.

- Whoa! - [chuckling] Whoa!

[♪ dramatic shimmering sting ♪]

We've been Glamdalized!

- [chuckles] Awesome! - [♪ triumphant music playing]

[groaning] Aw.

- This is a disaster. - [♪ music ends ♪]

Isn't this kind of a win, though?

This stuff is way newer and nicer than your old stuff.

Beryl and Martin can't know I left their house unlocked

and unattended and allowed criminals

to just waltz in while I sat in the backyard

like an irresponsible dope.

Aw. Uncle Pat. Hey, what's this?

I know that logo.

It's from the shady warehouse by the docks

on the outskorts of town.

[gasps] That must be Glamdal headquarters.

What are we waiting for?

We've got four hours before Mom and Dad get home.

Let's go get our furniture back!

Ah, jeez.

I can't take the kids

into dangerous criminal headquarters.

I also can't leave them home alone unsupervised.

But I also can't let Martin and Beryl see the house like this.

- It's... It's a real pickle. - [camera shutter clicks]

Come on, Pat. Concentrate.

That's it. I've decided.

We won't go to the warehouse.

We're here!

- [♪ intriguing music playing ♪] - How did it come to this?

- Shh. - Shh.

We were supposed to have a responsible, danger-free weekend.

- [distant clanking] - Shh! I thought I heard someone.

[all gasp]

- [all scream] - Are you the Glamdals?

No, we're being babysat by our aunt this weekend

and the Glamdals replaced all our furniture.

We're here to get it back.

Oh, same.

Look, there's a trail of glitter

leading behind that door.

- [repeating pounding] - [Kiff grunts]

Huh? It's... empty?

[cackles] Nice try, you tasteless philistines.

Oh, and please don't forget to grab your goodie bags on the way out.

You're all getting new Ypads.

Glamdals out!

[♪ dramatic shimmering sting ♪]

[Pat grumbles]

[♪ droopy sting ♪]

Mom and Dad are due home in an hour.

- [groans] Sorry, Uncle Pat. - [♪ sad instrumental music playing]

I'm never gonna be allowed to babysit ever again.

- Unless... - [♪ music stops ♪]

- Nah, never mind. - What?

No. Nah, it probably wouldn't work.

Let's face it, all my instincts have been wrong this weekend.

Come on, tell us.

All right. It's a dumb idea, but Grandma Rose

bought all the furniture for Martin's house

as a wedding gift, but she was so obsessed

with sibling equality that she bought me the exact same set of furniture,

and it's been sitting in a storage unit ever since.

I guess I thought maybe we could use it

to perfectly replace all your missing stuff.

Silly, [chuckles] huh?

[♪ motivational synth-pop music playing ♪]

[blows whistle]

[kisses]

[car lock chirps]

- [Kiff gasps] Wait! Dad's mustard stain! - [♪ music stops]

[♪ resolute metal music playing ♪]

[♪ music concludes ♪]

- We're home! - [vocalizing] ♪ We're home! ♪

[chuckling] Hey!

- [♪ whimsical music plays] - [Beryl] I gotta admit, Pat,

I was a little nervous at first, but everything looks fine.

Cleaner, even.

[kisses]

Good job, little bro. Proud of you.

Responsible Uncle Pat!

Although, I hope you haven't just been letting them sit

in front of the TV all weekend.

[sirens wailing over TV]

[chuckles]

- No, no, no, no, we did more. - We did safe, normal...

- A lot more. [chuckles] - ...responsible stuff.

Well, let's turn this off.

Um, Pat?

- What is... this? - [♪ music collapses ♪]

[all] Uh...

[narrator] Brought to you by Jackie Pennidötter,

private investigator.

If you need dirt on someone, call Jackie today.

So, tell me everything about this Rodney guy.

Well, I know Cousin Rodney from the bucket times.

Bucket times?

Yeah, you know, when you're so small

that your mom puts you in a bucket with other kid relatives

to take cute photos?

[clicks tongue] Aw, look. You were just a baby.

I know. Yeah, I barely remember Rodney, honestly.

Don't worry, Barry.

I made this sign with his name on it.

Hold it up when he comes out. It'll be cute.

[gasps] Oh! [chuckles, grunts]

[straining] Rodney, is that you?

[chuckles, inhales] Classic Barry prank.

Man, I am so pumped you're planning my Fab Fourteen.

No one better than my oldest bud.

- Who, me? - [chuckles] 'Who, me?'

Classic Bar. Keep 'em comin'!

Ope, there's my duffels!

Oh. [grumbles]

[grunts]

[chuckles] No.

Hey, Mom, I... I don't know if I'm the right person to be in charge

of Rodney's 14th birthday party. [nervous chuckle] It's a big one.

- Duffles! - Do the bucket times mean nothing

- to you, Barry? - You're Rodney's best friend.

I wouldn't go that far.

Rodney's mom says he tells everyone about the time you two

got stuck going down the slide together.

- Which time? - [Mary] Remember?

The fire department had to get you out.

Really? Wow.

Okay, guess I'm planning a Fab Fourteen for Rodney.

[Rodney in the distance] Little help, Bar? Lot of duffles!

[♪ intriguing music plays ♪]

Okay, and this kid's theme was transportation.

Hmm. Mm. [clicks tongue] I don't know.

I think a guy's Fab Fourteen should be a celebration

of his journey through life so far.

Like... 'From punk to hunk,' huh?

[chuckles]

Yeah. Oh, I feel that.

Okay, so give me some specifics.

- Like, what are you feeling... - Ah! No, no, no, no, no, no.

I already know too much. Don't want to ruin any surprises.

[door closes]

I got you, buddy.

Okay. [humming]

Okay, so now tell me everything you know

about Rodney.

Well, we used to hang out in a bucket.

Hm-hm. Great start. And... what else?

[smacks lips] We were on the slide that one time. [awkward chuckle]

[chuckles] Oh, now we're cookin' with gas.

Okay, what else?

That's all I know about this kid.

What do I do?

You only get one Fab Fourteen in your whole life,

and he trusted me with his.

Hey, I'm sure you've got it covered,

but I don't want any of that buffet heat lamp stuff

for food, all right? Catered waiters.

[retreating footsteps]

'Cousin don't know, figure out about.'

Here we go.

Jackie Pennidötter. She'll dig up dirt on anyone.

[♪ intriguing instrumental music playing ♪]

- [knocking on door] - [Jackie] Entrez!

- Hi, we... - Ah. Now don't tell me.

Let me figure out why you're here

- just by looking at you... - [♪ music stops playing ♪]

We emailed about Barry's c...

...to investigate your cousin, huh?

Look it, I'll dig up dirt on him, but it'll cost you.

I only have 31 nuts to my name.

Let's see 'em.

Okay, so, his name is Rodney, and, you know...

[Jackie] Shush! I like to discover everything myself.

I'll share my work tomorrow in an undisclosed location. Out.

Hey, there you are. Listen, I have a great idea.

Do you remember that thing I did when I was eight?

I want to incorporate it into the chandeliers.

Or at least one of the chandeliers. [chuckles]

I have no idea what happened to him when he was eight.

Chandeliers?

[imitated bird call]

Oh! Jackie, thank goodness.

[Jackie] Don't look at me!

Walk backwards.

Slowly.

You're veering off a little!

We can't see where we're going.

Forget it. Just turn around.

Did you find anything about Rodney?

[scoffs] Oh, yeah.

[clicks tongue] Big time.

Check this out.

[♪ expectant sting ♪]

- Is this it? - We already had this.

I worked really hard to get those!

You stole it from my room!

- No refunds. Tell your friends! - [bicycle bell chimes]

Sorry, sorry, one little tweak to the party.

I've decided that all the members

of my Little Shavers Lacrosse Team should be in attendance.

E... Except for you-know-who, right?

[chuckles] Make it happen, Cap'n!

I don't know who-is-who! [groans]

[sentimental music starts] ♪ How do you throw a party for Rodney ♪

- [Kiff] We lean into the pictures. - [♪ music stops]

Oh... no song for Barry?

He looks so happy here.

Okay, uh, life is like a slide, I guess.

Yeah, there you go.

And friendship is like a... bucket.

Yes. That's so deep.

Is it?

I decided the party should be tomorrow, on my actual birthday!

- No time! - [Rodney chuckles]

[♪ upbeat instrumental music playing ♪]

[camera shutter clicking]

Phew! Well, no one can say this isn't a party.

- Want to go down the slide? - [♪ music concludes ♪]

Kiff, the host of the party has far too many responsibilities

to, he himself, party.

Yeah.

Anyway, I think it's time for Rodney's big entrance.

[clears throat] And now...

- [♪ triumphant regal music playing ♪] - ...for the boy who needs no introduction,

the guy anyone would be lucky to share a bucket with,

it's Rodney!

Woo-hoo-hoo!

- [♪ whimsical instrumental music playing] - [slide squeaking]

[♪ music tempo collapsing ♪]

[♪ music stops ♪]

Um, this party's supposed to show my journey

from punk to hunk, not from bucket to slide.

- Why is everything a slide? - And a bucket.

Rodney, I'm so sorry.

I think we did pretty good.

And I have prepared a big performance for you.

This performance better fix everything.

Happy Fab Fourteen, Rodney.

[♪ single note plays ♪]

♪ Yo ♪ [sighs]

♪ Yo, this one goes out to my boy, Rodney ♪

- [solemn hip hop music starts] - R to the O-D-N-E-Y ♪

♪ I've known this guy since before I was 5 ♪

♪ I sat with him in a bucket and it changed my life ♪

♪ I think he's real great and I'll tell you why ♪

♪ You won't find a better guy to collide in a slide with ♪

♪ We were stuck tight there side by side ♪

♪ And we tried to break free but we couldn't ♪

♪ If it wasn't for that slide then I wouldn't ♪

♪ Be here throwing this party for Rodney ♪

♪ We started at the top Never made it to the bottom ♪

♪ Because we got stuck, or had you forgotten ♪

♪ What we have in common is that we were lodged in the middle ♪

♪ Fire department gave the slide a wiggle ♪

♪ They set us free and our parents immediately ♪

♪ Were like, 'Stuff it!' ♪

♪ 'Let's put these kids in a bucket!' ♪

- ♪ R to the O-D ♪ - ♪ Ay! ♪

♪ N to the E-Y ♪

♪ R to the O-D ♪

♪ Buckets and slides, buckets and slides Buckets and slides ♪

♪ N to the E-Y ♪

♪ What a guy, what a guy ♪

♪ If there's one thing I know about Rodney ♪

♪ It's that he really likes to throw a party ♪

♪ And there's other things I know about Rodney ♪

♪ He has a face ♪

[echoes] ♪ Face, face, face ♪

♪ His eyes and his nose and his mouth are in place ♪

♪ They're on his face ♪

- ♪ He has a face ♪ - [deep voice echoing] ♪ Face, face, face ♪

♪ Rodney! Rodney is a bunny ♪

♪ With two ears Let's have 3 cheers ♪

♪ For the fourteen years he's been alive ♪

♪ Hip hip hooray! Hip hip hooray! Hip hip hooray! ♪

♪ Me and Rodney two peas in a pod ♪

♪ That's an analogy but in reality ♪

♪ I mean the peas are the bunnies And the pod is a bucket ♪

♪ Or a slide ♪

- ♪ R to the O-D ♪ - ♪ Buckets and slides ♪

♪ Buckets and slides Buckets and slides ♪

- ♪ N to the E-Y ♪ - ♪ What a guy, what a guy ♪

- ♪ R to the O-D ♪ - ♪ Buckets and slides ♪

♪ Buckets and slides Buckets and slides ♪

♪ N to the E-Y ♪

♪ What a guy, what a guy ♪

[♪ song concludes ♪]

[pants]

I...

- 'have a face'? - [♪ tense music playing ♪]

Buckets and slides are all we got, Rodney.

You're ruining my Fab Fourteen! [grunts]

Rodney, get it together! This party is so nice.

Barry pulled out all the stops for you, a guy he barely knows!

Because that's who he is.

If you really knew Barry, you would know that he doesn't know you, you know?

What's up, bucket bro?

Bucket bro?

Wait, is that not Barry in the pic?

Mom! It's not even me!

It's not? [gasps] Oh, yeah, you're right, Barry. [chuckles]

That is Harry.

Look, I have four kids. Give me a break.

- [groans] - [♪ whimsical music plays]

Sorry, Barry. I guess I turned into a bit of a Fabzilla, there.

This is a pretty great party, though.

These little bucket cakes?

And what are these, slide sticks?

Yum.

All right, um, I'm gonna go catch up with Harry.

Nice to meet you, Barry.

You know what this means, though?

You're not the host anymore.

[chuckles]

[bicycle bell chimes]

[Jackie] Don't forget to tell your friends!

[♪ end theme music playing ♪]

[♪ music concludes ♪]