Original subtitles

- [theme music playing] - Kiff! ♪

♪ Kiff! Kiff! ♪

♪ Kiff! Kiff! Kiff! ♪

♪ Kiff! Kiff! Kiff! Kiff! ♪

♪ Kiff! Kiff! Kiff! Kiff! ♪

♪ Kiff! Kiff! Kiff! Kiff! Kiff! Kiff! Kiff! Kiff! ♪

♪ Yeah! ♪

- Kiff! ♪ - [♪ theme music concludes]

[both chuckle]

[narrator] Brought to you by Slippery Slopes Resort.

♪ Have you ever dreamed of skiing? ♪

I've always wanted to get into Slippery Slopes Ski Resort.

Yes, it was very nice of Reggie's parents to invite us up.

- Yeah, very nice. - [horn honking]

Hi, Rachel. Hi, Robby. Hi, Reggie.

Race you to the chalet. [laughs]

She's joking. Please drive safely.

What do Rachel and Robby do again?

Uh, Rachel's a brain surgeon and Robby plays a brain surgeon on TV.

[whistles]

[exhales deeply] Oh, gosh. I hope they like us.

Mom, why are you talking cuckoo?

You're all in that thriller genre book club together.

We meet once a month, and lots of parents are there.

We never spend one-on-one time with Rachel and Robby.

Oh, you'll have a blast.

Easy for you to say.

You and Reggie have been friends for years.

Mm. It's true.

We are setting the bar quite high. [chuckles]

[internally] Oh, Mom and Dad.

I'll probably have to help them out socially.

Well, fear not, parents. Kiff's gonna do whatever it takes

to make this weekend go as smooth as peanut butter.

[♪ light, ominous music playing ♪]

Welcome, Chatterleys.

Reggie! [gasps] This place rules!

I've never seen so much furniture made out of tree stumps.

Tip of the iceberg, my friend.

We've also got 24-hour programming on the resort channel.

Here at Slippery Slopes, we're committed to your comfort.

♪ Have you ever dreamed of skiing? ♪

- [both laugh] - All right, who's ready to hit the slopes?

Slippery Slopes Resort is now on winter storm watch.

Please stay inside.

- Does this mean we can't go skiing? - Yes.

Hey, this happens all the time, and the storms always pass us by.

We'll be skiing in no time. Meanwhile, Martin, Beryl,

join us in the hot tub?

We brought sparkling juice.

There's a hot tub? Martin, did you...

[sighs]

Looks like he found it.

- [all laugh] - [Rachel] So good.

Hey.

Finally, right?

Yeah, we finally got rid of them.

[chuckles] Um...

♪ Have you ever dreamed of skiing? ♪

Oh... uh, that happens. The remote's a little finicky.

[clears throat]

[clears throat] Sorry. [chuckles]

[internally] Hang on. I have never spent this much time

one-on-one with Reggie. There's always at least

one other friend there.

Will Kiff and Reggie get along?

I'll make us get along. Come on, Kiff.

What are you thinking about?

Tiny screwdrivers.

Hey, me too! [laughs]

[laughs]

- Tiny. - [TV powers on]

Cheers to fast friends with endless things to talk about.

- What a fabulous toast. - [slurps, gulps] Toast.

What an interesting phrase. Where does it come from?

- [Beryl] I love etymology. - [all chuckle]

Hey, let's think of something to play while we wait out the weather.

Good idea. I could play through the new game

I've been designing on my doodad and make notes.

Oh, and, um... and what would I do?

Quietly watch over my shoulder for possible bugs in the game.

Reggie, I'd rather sit in a compost heap

watching for possible bugs in an old apple.

I was thinking more like, uh, we write a dramatic play

and perform it after dinner.

Hmm. That's, uh...

Hmm.

Thinking you'd rather watch for possible bugs in an old apple?

- Yeah. - Yeah.

- [TV powers on] - ♪ Have you ever dreamed of skiing? ♪

Maybe it just needs new batteries.

[grunts]

- [gasps] - [gasps]

[both] Blanket for...!

Traditional fort-making has weathered the century for a reason.

Tucks and corners, all you need.

Oh, you fort purists are all the same.

Step into the now.

Tucks pop out the moment someone stands up,

whereas these metal clamps, which I can control

- from my smart... - [adults laughing]

No! You went to Camp Sitting Stump? You're joking.

Please, would I joke about this?

Whoop, whoop.

Whose hot dog is it?

[both] I left mine on the flagpole.

[both squeal]

[Beryl] Up, down, here we go. Round the germ and very low.

[all laugh]

Hey, friend, I'm just gonna, uh... go use the bathroom.

Oh, hurry back.

- [all laugh] - Stop.

- Oh, you. You. - My trowel! [laughs]

[laughs forcibly]

Kiff! Rachel was just telling us the funniest story

about how the linen thread count was proportional to the 401k divestment.

[laughs] Can you imagine?

Oh, fixed-rate cordless vacuum, oil change

descaled the shower head. [laughs]

So you coffee filtered jury duty?

Not on the interstate mortgage escrow.

Contact solution!

[all laugh]

[internally] I can't follow any of this adult gibberish.

But if these four snoozefests can have such a blast together,

Reggie and I must not be trying hard enough.

[scoffs] I've got to get back in there.

[overlapping chatter]

Listen up, Reg. You and I have been friends for years.

Good friends! So we should be getting along great!

I know, I know. So why aren't we?

Well, I'm pretty sure it's all because you're so stubborn.

Gasp! I know you are, but what am I?

♪ Have you ever dreamed of ski... ♪

We interrupt to bring you an urgent winter storm update. I repeat...

The project [grunts] needs a project leader.

Agreed! So give in and obey me.

Never! [grunts, yells]

Due to heavy snowfall we are now under

avalanche threat. I repeat, avalanche threat.

Everyone stay indoors and avoid making

any loud noise that could trigger

- a landslide of sn... - ♪...of skiing... ♪

You're ruining this vacation!

[gasps, hesitates]

[slams door]

Uh. Uh. Wha... Uh. Uh. Uh. Uh. Uh.

- [echoes] - [snow crackles]

Well, this is bad.

- [TV powers on] - ♪ Have you ever dreamed of skiing? ♪

Really bad. [sighs]

[sighs] Snowed in all weekend with a rude raccoon.

How'd I even end up friends with a guy like Reggie?

[♪ light, pensive music playing ♪]

[♪ music concludes ♪]

[sighs] Reggie and I have been through so much together.

Uh, we need to talk through our problems.

[sighs] But he locked his door. I can't get in.

Unless...

- [♪ triumphant music playing] - [groans, grunts]

[groans]

[♪ music concludes ♪]

[sighs] Snowed in all weekend with an unstable squirrel.

[knock on window]

[knocking continues]

- Hey! - [grunts]

What the...

Well, you left me no choice but to tunnel out the front door and over here.

And you blindly found my bedroom window?

That's mildly impressive.

Uh, yeah. First try.

I definitely didn't crack three windows before I found this one.

I assume you're here to apologize?

What? I... [exhales]

Don't you think we both have things to apologize for?

Maybe.

No.

Maybe.

Kind of cool how you found a creative way to get past my locked door.

Hm. Thanks.

Kind of cool how you locked your door.

Thanks. My parents took the lock off my door at home,

so, you know, getting my kicks here while I can.

Right, right, right. Wait, Reggie!

Our parents! The avalanche!

[muffled scream]

- [Beryl] Help! Kiff! - Mom, Dad, Robby, Rachel,

can you hear us?

[Martin] We're okay, but the temp in this tub

has really taken a dive.

[Beryl] Martin, forget the hot tub. We're trapped! Help us, kids!

Kiff, dig another snow tunnel.

I... I can't. My paws are raw from the last one.

But maybe we could melt the snow,

safely and responsibly, of course,

with these waterproof electric blankets that I found.

That's perfect, because I happen to have these waterproof extension cords,

which will help further avoid accidental injury

and/or property damage.

Blanket fort?

Blanket fort.

[both exclaim]

I'll tuck and stack with pillows to get to the top of the snowfall.

Your clamps are perfect for sealing in the heat along the edges.

Wiring together extension cords.

Okay, she's ready. Plug her in.

Reggie, maybe we're just too similar.

Two only children with big opinions and take-charge attitudes.

True. I suppose that means we have a lot in common.

[all] We're okay!

[both] Yay! We worked together!

Yay!

[♪ smooth jazz music playing ♪]

♪ Have you ever dreamed of skiing? ♪

- [both] - [♪ music concludes]

[narrator] Brought to you by B&B Minis.

Chocolate candy so small, you'll eat 'em all!

And no one will be mad!

[doorbell rings]

We're lucky to be friends with Trevor.

We get to witness a total solar eclipse

that can only be seen in Trevor's backyard?

The eclipse is just a ruse to get you here.

- Oh, quit doing that! - Oh!

I need your help getting out of a jam.

[sighs] Trev, what'd you do?

[♪ slow-tempo music playing ♪]

For years, Mom has been giving me money to take weekly piano lessons.

But instead of going to said piano lessons,

I went to the park and spent the money on B&B Minis.

[♪ music concludes ♪]

I see. That is a lot of wrappers.

What exactly is the problem?

Now Mom expects me to play a piano concerto

at the fundraiser she's throwing at five-p today.

A... A fundraiser?

Yeah, she's raising money to renovate the bathroom.

It's hideous.

But what did you think was gonna happen, Trevor?

I just didn't think it'd ever come up.

Oh, how rude of me. B&B?

Ha! Now you're complicit, you amoral lizards.

Those were piano money B&B's. You have to help me now.

Yeah, we were already gonna help you.

So... what you got?

What if we stream the music and play the piece over a hidden speaker

while Trevor mimes at the piano?

Brilliant!

Done. I knew you'd fix this. Why'd I even sit down?

Bathroom concerto number seven.

[♪ classical piano music playing ♪]

This is totally believable.

It's almost like he didn't spend six years on a bench, eating candy.

[ad voice] Upgrade to Musicify Premium so you never miss a beat.

- Ah, Trevor, upgrade to premium. - We... We can't have ads playing.

I wish, brah.

I spent all my money on B&B's, remember?

[ad voice] Change your life with piano lessons from Rupert Pianovski.

[♪ music continues ♪]

Ah, small world! That's my teacher.

Oh, duh. Let's ask him for help.

[♪ music concludes ♪]

Hello, sir. We're here for piano lessons.

Sorry, I'm going out of business.

A student who was supposed to come here for six years

- just never showed up. - Oh, no, that's a shame.

If I find out who that kid was,

I don't know what I'll do.

- We should get go... - What a small world. It was me!

[♪ classical piano music playing ♪]

[all sigh]

[hesitates, shouts]

[groans, clears throat, chews]

- [♪ music concludes] - [pants]

I swear they went this way.

[groans] Guess I should get back to my failed business.

Maybe I could get into the kid-chasing racket.

[sighs] Well, that was thrilling.

But it's four-p! None of this is working!

- Bash my hands. - Trevor!

Don't you see? Then it's no one's fault I can't play.

I'll say it's poison sumac! Mom will understand.

- [♪ piano playing distantly] - Wait, wait. [shushes] Can you hear that?

It's playing itself?

Of course. A player piano!

[groans] I can't believe we didn't think of this. You're totally fine, Trevor.

Hey, Pa, can we borrow your piano?

Sure. Why not?

[whistles]

[continues playing]

Oh, it plays the same song over and over?

Ma, how do we get the piano to play

'Bathroom Concerto, Number Seven' by Warthog Armadillo Moozart?

Oh, honey, the piano only plays 'Bathroom Concerto, Number Five'

by Warthog Armadillo Moozart.

That concerto's totally different!

- Mom hates that one! - Whose mom, hon?

I'm so sad and dejected,

I can barely finish these B&B Minis.

[♪ piano playing distantly ♪]

[♪ playing stops ♪]

- [all] Renée?! - Was that you playing the piano?

Yes, I admit it. It was me. You caught me.

How did we not know about this?

Well, I understand it's very surprising,

given my innate warthog confidence,

but I suffer from debilitating piano-specific stage fright.

I've never played the piano in front of anyone.

[sighs] I wish I could, [snorts] but... [sighs]

Renée, want to play in a small dark room where no one could see you?

Yes, please!

You good in there, Renée?

One knock for yes, two for no.

[single key plays]

Okay, Renée's good.

And we know Trevor can mime from our unsuccessful attempt earlier.

Are we forgetting anything?

We should do something with all those empty

B&B wrappers. We don't want any loose ends.

On it!

[snorts, gulps, chews, swallows]

Hi. Hi there. Hello. Thanks so much for coming.

Oh, hi.

[♪ ambient jazz music playing ♪]

Oh, my. Was there an intruder? It looks vandalized.

The wallpaper. I can't look.

Time to head out back.

The performance is about to start.

[clears throat]

[♪ piano music playing ♪]

Oh, Trevor, my little maestro. Here you go.

Let the music move you.

Cash is flowing.

You're a great mom.

- [♪ music concludes] - [pants]

[applauding]

- Thank... What? - I'm cured!

[all gasp]

I'm cured of stage fright.

It was so amazing to play for you all on a baby grand inside this grand piano.

Well, see you later.

[crowd clamoring]

[patron] I want my money back.

Trevor? What... This is...

Mom, I'm sorry. I never learned the piano.

No! [cries] Oh, Trevor. How could you do this?

I need a tissue from my hideous bathroom!

Oh, Trevor! [cries]

I hurt Mom.

Oh! Trevor, it's perfect.

Oh, Trevor, it's so inspired.

Did you...?

You said do something with 'em.

[all gasp, clamoring]

You are my little maestro.

The Warthog Armadillo Moozart of wallpaper.

Mom, I'll make everything else right, too.

I'd really like to take trombone lessons.

That's wonderful! I can't wait to he...

Womp, womp, womp, womp. Mm. [chews]

[♪ end credit music playing ♪]

[♪ end credit music concludes ♪]