Original subtitles

- [theme music playing] - Kiff! ♪

♪ Kiff! Kiff! ♪

♪ Kiff! Kiff! Kiff! ♪

♪ Kiff! Kiff! Kiff! Kiff! ♪

♪ Kiff! Kiff! Kiff! Kiff! ♪

♪ Kiff! Kiff! Kiff! Kiff! Kiff! Kiff! Kiff! Kiff! ♪

♪ Yeah! ♪

- Kiff! ♪ - [♪ theme music concludes]

[both laugh]

[♪ soft instrumental music playing ♪]

Another eventful day done and dusted.

It had its ups, it had its downs.

It sure did. [grunts] But Kiff, I still don't get

why you've called me beyond our mutual bedtimes.

- I can't sleep. - Classic.

It's bad, Bar. The mind, it races.

I was just thinking about sand. You ever think about sand, Bar?

Sand? It's so small, and many.

Don't even get me started. And glass? [scoffs]

That is a whole other story. Wait! A story, Barry! Dad!

Kiff? Shouldn't you be asleep?

Dad, I wanna do Stories Before Snories.

You do? We haven't done Stories Before Snories in years.

I know, but I can't sleep, like, at all,

and I just know that listening to a story will help.

I don't know, Kiff. I remember us stopping this for some reason.

Dad, please. One story,

that's entirely made up on the spot, has nothing to do with sand,

stars a character that strongly represents me.

It should have mystery, drama, betrayal, redemption.

Now, I remember why.

Please, Dad? One story and then I'll go snory. Deal?

[sighs] Okay, deal.

Okay, let's see, um...

- Once upon a time... - What time?

Uh...

Like, when? Is this time last week or last decade?

I need answers, Dad.

Okay, once upon a time, exactly 200 years ago,

there was a young squirrel called Puimm.

Puimm lived in a big castle that had a moat.

And also, its own bowling alley

that Puimm's dad used regularly to get his eye in before

the big bowling tournaments in the village.

- Dad. - Sorry, sorry.

Puimm would lie in bed every night,

and think about all sorts of things.

So many different things.

But one night, there was a knock at the door.

[Kiff] Do the knock.

[knocks]

[Martin] It was a man, and he said...

Hello.

[Kiff] Do his voice.

[Martin, in high voice] Hello!

I'm going door-to-door seeing if anyone is interested in,

um, this bag of sand.

Dad, I said no sand!

[Martin] Right, right, sorry, no sand. So, Puimm screamed...

[growls] No sand!

Get the sand away from me and my kingdom!

[in normal voice] And he got in his car and left.

Good riddance.

[Martin] Then Puimm rode a dragon to the land of pillows

and fell fast asleep. The end.

Dad, what was that? I don't mean to pick holes here,

but your story was all over the place.

You said the guy got in his car? This was 200 years ago.

Surely he would have left by horse?

And the sudden dragon?

You didn't even establish how she met the dragon!

Okay, okay, so I'm a little rusty.

- Beryl? - [groans]

Everything all right?

We're doing Stories Before Snories, but, uh, I'm tanking.

Think you could give it a go?

Oh! Been a while, but, uh, sure, I can tap in. Where we at?

Well, there's this squirrel called Puimm.

It's 200 years ago.

She banned some guy from the kingdom, and then suddenly flew on a dragon.

Did you establish how she met the dragon?

No.

Woof. [sighs] Okay. Here we go. [inhales] Exactly 205 years ago,

Puimm was walking through the enchanted woods

when she came across a little baby dragon

tangled in some brambles.

Puimm cut them loose, and it looked up at her, and said...

[Kiff] Don't forget to do the voice.

[Beryl clears throat, imitates] Thank you, kind squirrel.

For the rest of my days, I will be forever bonded to you,

and will help whenever you're in need.

[both clapping]

Okay. All right, great dragon intro,

but we need some action.

What's going on with Puimm back in real time?

I'm getting there. Uh, back in the present,

Puimm's mom was making her a sandwich.

A banana split.

[Beryl] A banana split when she heard a loud crash,

and some booms outside. Martin, would you?

Yes, sure. Boom! Smash! Kaboom!

Boom! Smash!

[Beryl] She looked out the window, and behold,

a huge angee giant with an eye patch

was making its way towards the village...

[Martin] Crash! Boom! Boom!

[Beryl] ...destroying everything in its path!

- [Martin] Crash! - [crowd screaming]

[Martin] Boom! Boom! Boom! Throw! Kaboom! Smash!

Puimm's dad ran in and was all...

Not the village!

That's where the bowling alley is.

And the big tournament is this evening.

Puimm's mom responded,

“I think there are more pressing concerns

than the tournament.'

But Puimm could see how devastated her dad was,

and how he really wanted this bowling alley in the story,

so she decided to call for help.

- From the dragon? - From the dragon.

Yes!

[Beryl] Puimm grabbed her special curvy

bone dragon caller thing, and blew it.

[Martin imitates horn bellowing]

[Beryl] The dragon came quickly,

and flew Puimm and her parents to the village, but...

it was too late.

The bowling alley was gone.

Oh, no!

[Beryl] Said Puimm's dad. But the dragon was all...

Never fear, I said I would always be there to help,

and it just so happens I know an excellent contractor

who could rebuild this alley in time for the tournament.

I'll call him now.

[Martin imitates horn bellowing]

[Beryl] He called, and soon the contractor arrived.

- [Kiff] By horse? - [Beryl] Yes. But he was looking glum.

[♪ suspenseful instrumental music playing ♪]

- Why? - Why?

[Beryl] Because his supplies never arrived.

My supplies never arrived!

[Beryl] Thanks, babe. And so, Puimm's dad learned a valuable lesson.

That sometimes even a dragon can't help you

to win a bowling tournament. You just need to be patient,

and wait until next year to enter.

Then the dragon flew them all to the land of pillows

where they all slept happily ever after. The end.

[insects chirping]

Okay, look. I don't know what debate you've been having

downstairs about a bowling tournament,

but this story makes even less sense than when you started!

What about the giant? Why was he so mad?

Uh...

Am I... Uh. Is Puimm like a princess?

Does she even wield the power

to banish people from entire kingdoms?

[Barry] These are all good questions, Kiff.

[Barry] Hi, this is Barry. I never hung up.

I've been here the whole time.

So, I think I know what's happening here. May I?

Yeah, please, Bar.

- Knock yourself out. - Go ahead.

Okay, exactly 200 years ago,

five minutes before all that stuff happened,

Puimm had a best friend who she called on for help.

He was a good supportive friend who had no feelings of jealousy

towards the whole dragon-bond thing.

Puimm gave him a call and he said...

You always do the right thing,

and if you think hard enough, you will find the answers.

Puimm thought. She thought, and thought, and thought.

[♪ mystical instrumental music playing ♪]

[Barry] And then it struck her.

“What do you do when you prepare a building site?

'You lay a foundation. How do you lay a foundation?

'By compacting sand!'

Puimm realized she banished a man with a bag of sand.

This must have been the man who supplies the village

and its contractors with sand!

[sighs] I shouldn't have reacted so badly.

'Dragon, could you help me find that poor man?' asked Puimm.

And they went off and found him,

living off the land with all his sand.

She un-banished him, which meant he could supply

the contractors with sand again.

The contractor then completed construction

on the bowling alley just in time for the big tournament,

which Puimm's dad ended up winning.

But they realized all the trophies were also destroyed.

[all gasp]

[Barry] And that's when Puimm had another brilliant idea.

She got the dragon to breathe some fire onto a pile of sand,

turning it into a perfectly round glass trophy

resembling a bowling ball.

Puimm's dad had never been happier.

But then the giant arrived.

[screaming]

[Barry] And was more furious than ever.

[growls] 'I'm so furious,' he said.

Puimm asked him why he was so angee, and he said...

I'm mad because I lost my eye,

and now, I have to wear this eyepatch.

I hate it. Everyone thinks I'm a pirate,

but I'm not!

[Barry] Puimm had an idea. She took the glass trophy,

rolled it up a ramp, and landed it perfectly in the giants eye.

The giant loved his new glass eye,

and agreed to help tidy up.

“Sorry you don't have a trophy' Puimm said to her dad.

“You're the only trophy I need,' he replied.

[Barry] Just before they left, the un-banished man called out...

Oh, wait! You should know,

I am actually the sandman.

Like, The Sandman, and when I came to your door,

I was selling little bags of sleep sand.

I can always tell when someone is struggling to fall asleep.

Here, take this.

[Barry] And he handed her a bag on the house.

[♪ epic instrumental music playing ♪]

[Barry] That night, Puimm fell asleep easily,

and could not believe how in the end,

it was sand and its endless wonders

that ended up being the hero of tonight's story. [chuckles]

The end. What do you think?

- [Chatterleys snoring] - Hello?

[snores]

Chatterleys?

- [snores] Mm. Bowling alley. - [snores, sighs]

Well, I guess my work here is done.

Sweet dreams.

Oh, no.

[ad announcer] Brought to you by Crandle's Candles.

Stop asking how long they burn, nobody knows!

[♪ upbeat rock music playing ♪]

The science fair is comin' up and I am pumped!

The winners will receive a ribbon from Principal Secretary!

- I love Science Fairs. - Science Fair. Oh, my gosh.

- A real ribbon! - I can't wait.

Partners?

Heck yeah! If we think of a good idea,

we might even win second place.

What about first place?

[Kiff] Oh, that'll go to Reggie.

- Yeah! - Yeah!

When you've got a Reggie in your class,

second place is the real first place.

♪ When there's a big nerd in your class it's a given ♪

♪ At a science fair, they'll be taking first place ribbon ♪

♪ It happens every year it's a scientific fact ♪

♪ Everybody knows Reggie's got it in the bag ♪

♪ A science fair is not so fair ♪

♪ When you have to compare a particle accelerator ♪

♪ With a potato ♪

♪ We're all in a race for second place ♪

♪ Second place ♪

♪ Second place is the new first place ♪

- ♪ In this case ♪ - ♪ Second place ♪

♪ Second place is the new first place ♪

♪ It's a race, it's a race A race for second place ♪

♪ Second place is up for grabs ♪

♪ We know that first place is out our hands ♪

- ♪ And that's okay ♪ - ♪ It's totally fine ♪

♪ It's like being in class with ♪

♪ Owlbert Einstein! ♪

♪ Second is first and third is second ♪

♪ And fourth is third ♪

♪ 'Cause Reggie's a nerd ♪

I mean, Reggie, you get it, right?

Yeah, it's pretty much in the bag.

♪ Second is first and third is second ♪

♪ And fourth is third 'cause Reggie's a nerd ♪

♪ Second is first and third is second ♪

♪ And fourth is third ♪

♪ 'Cause Reggie's a nerd Second place! ♪

♪ Second place! ♪

♪ And fourth is third 'cause Reggie's a nerd ♪

♪ Second place! ♪

♪ Second place is the new first place ♪

♪ 'Cause Reggie's a nerd It's a race ♪

♪ It's a race ♪

♪ It's a race! ♪

♪ A race for second place ♪

You kids sure are realistic.

[♪ intriguing instrumental music playing ♪]

Mmm. “How Long Does a Candle Burn?'

- Uh, is that... is that science? - I don't know. [munches]

- I can get a candle. - No, no, no, no.

We're just getting the bad ideas out of the way.

Okay, um, what about,

“Making Electricity Using Compost'?

Eh. Uh, kids always do compost projects.

That's third or fourth place thinking.

Yeah, I'm with you.

[♪ exciting music playing ♪]

Oh! “A Helmet That Prevents Brain Freeze

- for When You Eat Ice Cream!' - [gasps] Barry, that is genius!

[laughs] Second place is in the bag, baby!

[Patty sighs]

- [♪ soft music playing ♪] - Hey, Patty, you okay?

Oh, hey, Kiff. Yeah, I'm just anxious.

I have no idea what to do for the science fair.

Aw, cheer up, Patty, you have time to think

- of something. - [school bell ringing]

Remember, after lunch,

you'll announce your science fair project

out loud in front of all your peers! Be prepared!

[whimpers]

- [♪ soft music playing] - [both munching]

All my ideas are bad!

Hey, that's okay!

Kiff and I had so many bad ideas,

but then we came up with “A Helmet That Prevents

Brain Freeze for When You Eat Ice Cream!'

Sometimes you gotta go through all the bad ideas

to get a good one!

Okay, I'll try. Thanks, Gumdrops.

Electromagnets will be used to accelerate the movement

of subatomic particles causing collision so that

we may analyze the makeup and behavior of said particles.

The LHC will then accelerate the protons to 6.5 TeV

which is the highest energy in the world. Thank you.

[Miss Deer] Next up, Patty Hoot.

Um. Uh. [sighs] My project is...

My project is... “A Helmet That Prevents

Brain Freeze When You Eat Ice Cream.'

[students] Whoa!

[Miss Deer] Very creative, Patty!

Kiff and Barry, your turn.

[♪ soft tense music playing ♪]

Kiff, Barry, what is your project?

“How Long Does a Candle Burn?'

Yikeseeola.

[♪ defeatist music playing ♪]

What the actual was that?

Uh. Patty stole our idea, right?

She acted like she didn't though.

But you definitely told her the idea. I heard you.

I know, I... [sighs] Is Patty a baddie?

No way! She's a goodie, right?

[♪ enchanting music playing ♪]

Hey, Patty? Uh, what happened in class today?

Huh?

Well, you know, the... the brain freeze helmet?

Oh! What about it?

- Well... - Oh, this is me!

See you tomorrow, bye!

[sighs] This is just so weird!

Yeah. [groans] I suppose we just have to let it go.

Eh, fine.

Let's go get started on that dumb candle thing, I guess.

- [♪ upbeat music playing] - [mobile camera shutter clicks]

I think Patty might be a baddie.

She's not... I don't think.

- Hey, did you two hear? - [gasps] Uh. What, Trev?

The news is here!

They came to interview Reggie about his particle collider.

Are they interviewing Patty about our idea?

- I'm going in. - [♪ playful music playing ♪]

[news reporter] And how did you come up with this great idea?

I couldn't have done it without two special friends...

my brain and my heart.

[applause]

Ooh, this is gonna win second!

[gasps]

Two special friends? [laughs]

- What? [chuckles] - [cell phone vibrating]

[♪ tense instrumental music playing ♪]

Bar! [pants] You... you texted me about

the brain freeze helmet thing the day before Patty told

the class about it! Oh! We have evidence

that it was our idea!

We gotta show this to Principal Secretary!

- PS! PS! PS! - [panting] PS! PS! PS!

Kiff, Barry, why do you both look so sweaty and indignant?

We have something really important to show you!

All right, what is it?

Whoa! What the?

My project is that I invented a way to delete text messages

off of phones... using compost.

Compost!

[groans] Back to your station, Kiff and Barry.

I've got to present Patty with the second place ribbon.

- No! - No!

All right. This has gone on long enough!

I didn't wanna have to do this but... Patty stole our idea!

- “How To Burn a Candle?' - No! Our other idea,

our good one!

Yeah! We thought of the brain freeze helmet!

And we made the mistake of telling Patty about it

'cause then she went and stole it!

- [gasping, murmuring] - [student 1] Oh, my gosh!

[overlapping chatter]

Is she a baddie? Is that what we're trying to figure out?

Is she a baddie or not? How bad is she?

I... I did? Oh, my gosh.

You're right. I remember now. I'm so sorry!

I thought I came up with the idea,

but I didn't. I feel so awful.

[Terri] Hold the phone.

You two were gonna make a helmet that prevents brain freeze?

You stole that idea from me.

[student 2] plot twist!

[student 3] Kiff And Barry are hypocrites, looks like it.

Terri, what are you doing here?

Uh. Delivering pizza for Renée's project.

I won second place with the brain freeze helmet

back when I was in your grade.

[♪ soft reflective music playing ♪]

Oh, my gosh, Terri is right. Barry's flashback proved it.

I'm so sorry, Terri. I... I didn't mean

to steal your idea, I... I really thought

I came up with it all by myself.

Cryptomnesia.

- We're sorry, Patty. - You're not a baddie!

You did the exact same thing we did.

Aw, it's okay!

Well, hey, if it's okay with everyone,

the four of us could split the second place ribbon...

[applauding]

[♪ upbeat music playing ♪]

- [licks] - So, how long does it burn?

Nobody knows! [laughs, licks]

- [laughs] It's so stupid. - [laughs, sighs]

[♪ closing theme music playing ♪]

[♪ closing theme music concludes ♪]