Original subtitles

- [theme music playing] - Kiff! ♪

♪ Kiff! Kiff! ♪

♪ Kiff! Kiff! Kiff! ♪

♪ Kiff! Kiff! Kiff! Kiff! ♪

♪ Kiff! Kiff! Kiff! Kiff! ♪

♪ Kiff! Kiff! Kiff! Kiff! Kiff! Kiff! Kiff! Kiff! ♪

♪ Yeah! ♪

- Kiff! ♪ - [♪ theme music concludes]

[both laugh]

[Martin] Brought to you by Joanie's Waxing Bamzonis.

Now that's slippery.

[yawns, gasps]

Barry. Look!

Is that what I think it is?

Tell... everyone.

[knock on door]

[♪ dramatic music playing ♪]

[sighs] Bye-bye, Buffy.

[all cheering]

[Randy] Okay, my turn.

Aw, yeah!

[all chuckling, cheering]

[chews]

Hey, Renée!

[all] Whoa!

Trevor, you little light bulb. What did you just do?

I think I invented a new game, and I'm calling it

Trash Ball... Ball.

We're gonna need more sticks.

[♪ upbeat music playing ♪]

[♪ music concludes ♪]

Whoo! How many points was that?

Mm, technically, three.

Two for the goal and one for the bounce back.

Candle was mid-air when she caught it,

and the can had no rattle,

- so that's another two points. - Mid-air, one point.

No rattle from can, also one point.

New ball!

[lip smacks] Ooh. Ooh-wee, that's sticky.

[♪ upbeat music playing ♪]

[♪ music concludes ♪]

[all cheering]

This is like hands down the most fun we've ever had.

But wait, who won?

I think it's safe to say we're all winners, Trev.

[chuckles] Let's take a selfie.

Okay, everyone say, 'Trashball-Ball is perfect

the way it is, and it will never change.'

'Trashball-Ball is perfect the way it is,

and it will never change!'

Kenny! Get our sponsors and their checkbooks on the phone.

I just discovered Table Town's newest sport.

- Sponsors? - Kenny?

[all cheering]

They're calling it Trashball-Ball.

However, it's anything but trash,

and these kids are having a ball.

That's why we're launching a whole league

in a new stadium with exclusive brand partnerships.

Right, but everything else stays the same?

Yeah! Yeah, yeah.

Except that you'll each be captains of your own team.

Uh, we get more sponsorships that way.

Captains? Wow, wow, wow, wow, wow!

- [♪ intense music playing] - [cheering]

Live from the Table Town Trash Dome...

This is Trashball-Ball.

[Rad] We've got the Dan Hill's Grasslings, led by Captain Kiff.

[Tippy] Bort Grig's Carpet Emporium Carpeteers,

steered by Captain Barry.

[Rad] Captain Candle will be marshalling

the Handsome Man Sponges for Men Marauders....

[Tippy] While Captain Reggie shepherds the Rat's Hats

and Mats Mad Hatters. Say that five times fast.

[Rad] I'll leave that up to you.

Captain Renée helms the Slim Pickins Little Grocerrinos.

[Tippy] And finally, Captain Trevor and his team,

the Rob Sadly's Mattress Shop Bed Bugs.

Today’s Café Penguino Face Off is brought to you by Dooley's Feather Barn.

If it's stinky, it's a Dooley's.

[blows whistle]

Our sock sponsors are Delfman's Dry Bread.

Delfman's, you want water? Go jump in a lake.

Okay, now we're ready to...

The trash for this game's Trashball-Ball

was ethically sourced from the dumpsters at Saddles Restaurant.

Saddles, where the chow happens now, pardner!

Ugh, can we play now?

That question from the captain was brought to you

by our friends at Pam's Protection,

reminding you to keep all your questions secure.

Trashball-Ball used to be so punk three hours ago.

Now it's totally corporate. Ugh.

[cheering]

[Rad] What a block by the little Mad Hatter.

[Tippy] Let's take a look at that again from several different angles

featuring several different speeds of slow motion.

[Rad] Brought to us by Pablo's Popcorn Shovelers.

Okay, here we see Candle taking her shot.

Ew.

[Tippy] Look at that launch angle.

[Rad] Launch angle brought to you by Table Town Space Station.

Trash the other team already!

[blows whistle]

[buzzer sounds]

[Rad] Oof, final score, zero-zero.

Yes, that was officially a clean game,

which, of course, in Trashball-Ball is a bad thing.

Barry, scanning for a fellow Carpeteer.

[cheers]

That winning can was sponsored by, uh...

[breathes quickly]

Oh, uh... [breathes quickly]

Uh... Ah! I dropped my list of sponsors!

Who was it brought to us by?!

[tone]

[Rad] Be sure to join us for tonight's all-star game,

a historic reunion of the Trashball-Ball Six.

Yes, the first time they've played together since this morning.

It's headshot picking time, kid. Make me proud.

[sighs]

[♪ sentimental music playing ♪]

Look, Barry. Look at us.

Aww. That photo really makes me nostalgic

for a few hours ago.

This isn't our Trashball-Ball. Bar?

Yeah, you're right.

We gotta do something about it, but what?

I have an idea.

[Rad] And now, to sing the National Anthem,

Marlina Dena Turina.

Brought to you by Hag Tanning Oil.

♪ From the mountain steep To the ocean deep ♪

♪ The sand on our beaches ♪

♪ And all the beautiful creatures ♪

♪ We stand together bold Like the table of old ♪

♪ The four legs of the table - yes! ♪

♪ Stability, Balance, Firmness And the Other One ♪

♪ We are Tabletonians We hope, we love, we dream ♪

♪ We’re all that’s in between ♪

♪ So hold your head up high and sing ♪

♪ It doesn’t matter if you’re long or round ♪

♪ Or small or wide ♪

♪ If the heart you have inside is burning, being ♪

♪ Caring, daring! ♪

♪ From the Outskorts To the carpets at Borts ♪

♪ To Slimmy P out in Space ♪

Hello, Slimmy!

♪ We share our love far and wide ♪

♪ All over this magical place ♪

♪ We are stable like a table We are stable like a table ♪

♪ We are Tabletonians We laugh and cry together ♪

♪ It’s each other that we treasure ♪

♪ Will we give up? Never, never! ♪

♪ We have four legs ♪

- ♪ And we’ll stand strong till the end ♪ - It's not working.

♪ Will we give up? ♪

♪ Never, never, never Never, never, never, never! ♪

[engine sputtering

What in the...

Peanut butter?

[chomps, gulps] The chunky kind?

- Eww! - So gross.

Whoa, whoa, whoa!

[screaming]

[screaming]

[sobs] I'm ruined!

Oh, what a shame.

I guess that's it for Trashball-Ball 2.0.

Now we can go back to the way we were playing this morning.

You did this!

Oh, come on. Oh, jeez. [groans]

Quick, show 'em the pic!

[Trevor growls]

- [all] Aww! - Oh, yeah, that was way more fun.

These jerseys are kinda lame.

Want to split a basket of fries at Saddles?

- Yeah! Sounds good to me. - Yeah!

Wait! Don't go! I can invent a new game!

What about peanut butter polo?

No, no! Chunky Ball... ball.

Goober grapple?

[narrator] Brought to you by Slumber-Rite's Sleep Pods.

Sleep like an old witch!

[Principal Secretary] I should be back from City Hall in an hour.

- Are there any questions? - Yes.

Why are you bringing Helen to the principal presentation and not me?

Secretary Prince, you're a faithful servant,

and I trust you to hold down the fort while I'm gone.

But I don't trust you to watch Helen.

That is a burden that has fallen upon me. No offense, Helen.

[snorts] Huh? Did we win the presentation?

Read this in case of a school-related emergency.

And read this in case of a Kiff-related emergency.

No offense, Kiff.

No problem, P.S.

Keep this close. Let's go, Helen.

City Hall awaits,

and the school pencil budget won't save itself.

I can't believe P.S. trusts you so much.

- He sure is the best. - He sure is.

I hope I'm worthy.

Of course you're worthy. And I'm here to help.

I promise there will be no mischief or...

What's that?

[♪ angelic music playing ♪]

This is Principal Secretary's juice machine. Want to try it?

[powers on]

[sips, lip smacks] It's delicious.

Can I get another one for Barry?

I don't know if we should keep using it.

This is the only indulgent thing

Principal Secretary has ever bought for himself.

S.P., it's Barry.

[sighs] You're right. He famously loves juice.

One more glass won't hurt.

[beeps]

I feel... a disturbance.

[snorts] What?

Oh, I... I said I felt a... disturbance.

Ah.

Did we just break P.S.'s juice machine?

[nervous laughter] It's that,

you said everything would be fine!

No, I said nothing of the sort. Now don't panic.

Let's just fix it.

[beeps]

[beeping]

[beeping]

[beeps]

Okay, now we can panic.

[Glarbin] Next!

Remember, we are just asking for a two percent increase

in the pencil budget. That's it. Eyes on the prize.

Right, so when can we ask about the new

state-of-the-art sleeping pod?

We won't.

But, it says right here in Scientific Tabletonian

that the sleeping pod helps productivity.

How am I supposed to fall asleep in school without it?

Have you tried j... just not falling asleep in school, Helen?

Next!

So, I was told I should tell some pencil-related jokes

during my presentation, but I think I should just get

to the point. [whistles]

[clears throat]

Oh, I'm sorry. Did you want a glass?

From a carton? Oh. No. No, no, thank...

I'm... I'm saving myself for a glass from my juice maker.

Flip's tech tip number one, three taps, wait, two pumps.

Three taps, wait...

Two pumps.

[beeps]

Turn it off, then on again.

Turn it off... Then on again.

[beeps]

Just bonk it a whole lot.

[sighs] Nothing is working. What does the book say?

Whenever Kiff gets an idea, back away slowly and find an adult.

No, no. I... I meant in the juicer manual,

not the In Case of Kiff manual.

This is hopeless.

We can't fix the machine in time.

P.S. is gonna be so disappointed in me.

I mean, it's just juice. Maybe P.S. won't care that much.

Wow. What a beauty.

Yep. Yep. Here it is, uh... Here it is at nighttime.

And that's first... first thing in the morning,

the light catching it. Oh! This is the...

this is the day I got it. This is the day I bought it.

What a beauty. Aw, if anything happened to it,

I don't know. I just, I don't know what I'd do.

You don't mind if we just keep looking at pictures

of my machine, do you? I've got... I've got tons.

Okay, so P.S. loves juice.

Uh, maybe we could buy a new one?

The juicer's manual says it costs 1700 nuts.

Do you have money?

I'm a child. Do you have money?

I'm a secretary at a public school.

[gasps] Wait! I have an idea!

No, no. Stay with me. We could throw a last-minute midday gala

and invite all the richest people in Table Town.

Eh?

[sighs] And just say we're raising money

for Principal Secretary's juice machine?

Would people really give us money for that?

Oh, what a gala. It feels good to help.

They didn't even ask what the money was for. Huh.

Rich people.

Hello, my good sir.

I would like to buy your finest juice machine.

[sighs] That isn't our finest juice machine.

[drone crashes]

This is.

[♪ dance music playing ♪]

Whoa. Well, can we get the old one in the photo, please?

Old one is discontinued, boss.

This looks totally different. P.S. would notice in a second.

Oh, there's P.S.

[sighs] I can't believe we have to crush his little heart.

Who's in that photo next to him buying the exact same juicer?

[gasps] Beverly! Oh, this is great.

Well, let's just go offer Beverly all this money for her machine.

[slurps, sighs] Wow, so good.

Courtesy of my beloved juice machine.

Now, Kiff, what can I do for you and your little brother?

I'm a grown man.

Um, we'd love to offer you this for your used juice machine.

[grunts]

This machine right here?

Sorry, it's not for sale.

[exhales sharply] This is 1700 nuts.

Seventeen hundred nuts?

Seventeen hundred nuts for this?

Are you serious?

That's a lot of money.

Great. So you'll sell it to us?

Nope. I have that much in my couch cushions. Bye now.

- I think she's lonely. - That was our last lead.

No, it's not over yet.

Maybe we can build a juice machine. Yes. Yes.

It's over, Kiff.

The only thing left to do is take responsibility

and tender my resignation.

[Principal Secretary] I cannot believe this!

He knows.

[sighs] Principal Secretary,

I tender my resignation.

- What are you talking about? - You're angry at us, right?

You're using the voice you use when you're angry at Helen.

Because I am angry at Helen! Glarbin rejected

my pencil proposal.

Helen's sleeping pod pitch 'moved him,' apparently,

and, well... I'm extra angry because, rather

than have a pencilless school, I decided to sell

my beloved juice machine and use the proceeds

to buy new pencils for the school.

Why would I be angry at you two?

Because we knew you were going to do that,

so we already sold the juice machine.

We thought you were going to be mad

because we didn't get permission.

Anyway, here's the money.

Oh, well, thank you. Well, that... that's, um...

Well, I guess that's all wrapped up, then.

My only question is, what's that juice machine doing over there?

Oh. Right.

The jig is up. I broke the machine while I was trying to make

a second glass of juice for Barry.

He loves juice. I re-tender my resignation.

No, S.P., it was my fault.

I'm the one who introduced Barry to juice in the first place.

[slurps, lip smacks]

I am the one who should be fired.

Secretary Prince, you aren't fired,

and Kiff, students can't be fired.

I know. I have tried. The machine is fine.

I put a setting on it to shut it off

if you try to make more than one glass a day.

I have no willpower when it comes to juice.

Ah! The juice machine is fixed.

It was never broken!

And we have enough money to keep TTS rolling in pencils

for the next ten years! Hooray! You know what? [grunts]

Here we go.

And three cheers! [slurps, gulps]

P.S., I rescind my resignation.

[gulps] I wouldn't have accepted it either way.

I need you, S.P. [slurps]

More than I need juice.

You're the only administrator here I can rely on.

Do you mean that, sir?

[Helen] Oi! Can you keep it down?

It's hard enough to sleep in this metal cage. [grunts]

[snores, grumbling]

♪ She loves juice ♪

♪ It's her favorite thing in the world ♪

♪ It comes from the machine ♪

♪ You know she really loves juice ♪

♪ She loves how it tastes ♪

♪ She splashes it on her face ♪

♪ She loves the juice Oh, juice ♪

[♪ end credit theme playing ♪]

[♪ end credit theme concludes ♪]