Original subtitles

Brought to you by Handsome Man sponges for men.

You do it.

- When is the tram getting here? - Eh, don't worry.

Worst case, we're late for Helen's drama class.

So...

Ooh...

I may be able to lend a hand.

- You're a wizard! - Please, call me Ed.

I wish we knew how to do magic.

Surely you learn magic at school?

Don't you have a magical teacher?

Uh, Helen? Oh, no, she's magical but teaches drama.

I am outraged! Without Wiz-Ed,

children could learn magic online, then mishandle it.

Who would want such a thing?

You should come teach magic at our school.

Oh, I don't know. I'm an old wizard.

Do children even think magic is cool anymore? I mean,

is this cool?

- You're hired. - Splendid!

Let us take the scenic route.

PS, meet Table Town's newest teacher.

I am a wizard named Ed.

- Hello, Ed. - And I'm here to teach Wiz-Ed.

Wiz-Ed?

Yes. It's all about the wonderful world of wizardry.

Oh, like that movie Schoolboy Wizard?

Exactly like Schoolboy Wizard.

- Hired! - I'm gonna grow a wizard's beard!

Remember, children, magic isn't just fun and games.

But if you use it responsibly, you can achieve...

anything.

Boo! You stink!

It's me! Oh, what's my name?

The Little Hedgehog Kid,

and I think this guy's magic is weak!

Uh, listen, bud.

The school's not big enough for two magical teachers.

Right, kids?

Ed, let me take this one. Helen, a word.

I get it. You're jealous. Don't be. We still love you.

Now, where were we?

Yes.

Ho, ho, yes!

That's it! Now you've got it!

Flick, twist, twirl, swoop, up, down, tap!

Nice form, Reggie.

Great twig work, Candle.

Uh, Ed, can you teach us

how to move the sponge around in a circle

instead of just up and down?

I don't know. That's... That's pretty advanced.

Come on. We're ready for the next step.

Hmm. I must away to my study to think.

Trev, uh, why do you want to make a sponge

move around in circles?

Yeah, that's so weirdly specific.

Let Trevor work his own magic, kids.

I suppose I could teach you all a beginner's circle spell.

But remember, wizardlings,

some spells come at a great cost.

Good job, sweetheart. Here's your allowance

and a little extra.

Trevor, you're a genius!

We can use this magic for chores!

Magic twigs in.

On the count of three. One, two...

Using magic for personal gain!

Ed, can we learn more spells?

Yeah, like the circle one you taught us.

I'd love to know how to make something the size of,

let's say, a vacuum cleaner move around, let's say, the entire house.

I can tell by your winks that you are ready.

You've all gotten so good at magic!

What would you like to learn next?

Yeah, I think we're good, brah.

Well, then I think this is an opportune time

to collect my fee.

Whaa...

You used my magic to do your chores.

That magic is proprietary,

and now by the laws of magic,

you legally owe me your allowances!

Hey, give it back!

- No! - Hey, Ed, you can't do that.

Give back... our hard-earned gold.

I told you, magic has a cost.

You can't just take our m...

Did you hear that?

The school bell. Time for lunch.

- He can't do that. - Actually, I think he can.

According to this, we now owe Ed

all future allowances in perpetuity!

Never trust a magic user. I warned you this would happen.

No, you didn't.

I'm pretty sure I did.

I even showed you this newspaper article.

No, you didn't!

Oh, I didn't?

Well, if I didn't say it,

you should have got the warning from my vibes.

The con artist is getting away with all our nuts.

Let's go get him.

- He's gone. - He tricked us!

Well, well, well, well, well.

If only you ungrateful kids knew a magical witch

who could perhaps help you out

if they received a sufficient amount of groveling.

- Grovel! - We're sorry, Helen.

- We're sorry, Helen. - We're sorry, Helen!

Music to my ears. I promise to get your allowances back.

Yay! Yeah!

Did you really think

you could just skip town with our hard-earned nuts, Ed?

Yes. Boop.

Not so fast!

I challenge you to a duel, Ed,

if that's even your real name!

It's not, and I accept.

Get him, Helen.

- That's all I got. - Are you for real?

Get off my back. You kids thought

you were the magic experts. You deal with him.

Okay.

You know what? Ed may be a fraud,

but he taught us magic.

Let's show him what we can do.

Flick, twist, twirl, swoop, up, down, tap!

Double loop, figure eight, point, aim, zap!

Wiggle nose, swan pose, just like that!

Oh! Yuck!

All right, let's finish him off!

No! No!

Is that Handsome Man's sponges for men?

They're gross! Argh!

Argh! Ugh...

No! My swag!

Aah!

My swag!

Ahh!

No!

We did it!

So, should we go to a pawn shop or something?

- Turn this stuff back... - Oh, no, I'm keeping this stuff.

I promised to get your allowances back from Ed,

but I never said I'd get them back to you.

Let this serve as a reminder that I'm the best

and I'm always right about everything.

You kids can find your way home, right?

Helen finally managed to teach us a lesson.

Never trust a magic user.

Eh.

Brought to you by Jenn P. Gel's gel pens.

We leave a mark!

The mirror. Let's break it down.

You can see your beauty from every angle,

like I'm doing here,

And here. Like I'm doing here.

And here. Very nice.

I don't believe you. Prove it.

My boy, Barry, can totally do it. Observe.

Popsicles taste delicious.

Woah!

A soup spoon for Sandy?

Incredible!

Barry?

Don't... you... dare.

That's it! You've taken advantage of my kindness

for the last time.

Sorry! I'm sorry.

Oh, you will be.

Random junk from bottom drawer,

spell a hundred and thirty-four!

No!

No!

- No! - No!

- No! - No!

No!

- Phew! - Whoo!

Now, where were we?

Ah, yes. Mirrors!

Um, Helen?

- What? - What is spell 134?

Wouldn't you like to know?

- We would! - Yes.

Well, I'm not telling.

Helen, please? You can't just cast a spell on us

and then not tell us what it is. That's entrapment.

I absolutely can do that.

I'm doing it right now.

Now, where were we? Oh!

Here!

What... What do you think spell 134 is?

- It could be anything. - I know.

Something like this could drive a kid... crazy.

Wait, Barry, we don't even need to go down that road.

Helen was mad about the hand farts.

She probably took away your ability to do hand farts.

- Still tootin'. - Hmm.

Hand fart ability...

Did you just write that down so you could cross it out?

- Don't question my methods. - Okay!

Well, I think the spell would be something obvious, like...

Oh, maybe we can fly now!

I have never wanted you to be more right about anything.

That's a no on flying.

We'll need complete physicals, Dr. Lyon. Stat!

Stat? Okay. Any symptoms?

Well, we were hit by spell 134, and we don't know what it did.

We don't feel different, but we do feel different, you know?

Mm. Ah.

Well, it's my medical opinion...

that you two are fine.

Have you considered that spell 134 is the ability to fly?

- Of course we have. - Mmm.

Time for lunch.

The ability to fly is the first thing anybody thinks of.

It's probably a top-five spell on every list.

What we're looking for is spell 134.

It's gotta be weird or random.

Ooh, eggplant parm with apple slices for dessert?

I'm a lucky lion!

What if spell 134 makes everything taste like eggplant parm?

That's weird and random.

Let's test it.

How's that taste? Getting any parm?

Nope. Carrot.

Makes carrots taste like eggplant parm.

- Eggplant parm? - Noodle.

Mm.

That was terrible!

That was eggplant parm.

Oh, I just realized. I have never had eggplant parm before.

Mmm, sweepy time.

Sticky hands?

Not spell 134!

No!

Unticklish.

Try again!

Come on, Barry.

Super strength?

Fail!

Not today!

Maybe the spell ruins movies?

Movies still enjoyed by all!

Chubbles Wubbington, national treasure!

We tried everything.

Maybe Helen was right. Maybe we don't want to know.

Sure. Life is full of unknowns.

But we fear the unknown.

No, Bar, we can live without knowing.

We're strong.

We're strong, right? Barry?

Please!

- Please, Helen! - Have mercy!

'Please' what? What are you doing here?

He hand farted? You shot a spell at us?

It missed? Bounced off all the mirrors? Hit us both?

Uh, you can't expect me to remember

every little thing I do throughout the day.

Just tell us what spell 134 is.

Oh, 134. Sure, right, right.

So you remember the spell?

I do... not remember it.

- Helen! - Please!

We can't live like this! What is our curse?

Helen, the fact that there's a spell 134

implies that you might have a list somewhere.

That we could take a peek at it!

Ah, you two are being so annoying,

going on and on about lists and spells.

You sound like my sister Agnes.

Always asking, 'What does this spell do?'

And then writing it down in list form.

Huh?

Oh, you poor things.

So do you know what spell 134 is?

Not off the top of my head, but I'm sure we can figure it out.

You know, when we were young witches,

Helen would always come up with spells

and immediately forget them. So I wrote them all down.

And, uh, hid them in the dry cleaning?

No, silly!

I store them in the dry cleaning.

Spell 134 must be in here somewhere.

Spell number four, invisibility. Nope.

Every day is your birthday.

They're not in order?

I have a system!

Okay?

Spell 134...

thousand, two hundred and eight.

We're never gonna find it.

Not with that attitude.

Is this it? No. Is this it? No.

- No. - Not it.

- No. - Not it.

Not it.

- No! - Not it.

Spell number 134.

I found it...

No, wait. Nine. That's a nine. So sorry!

But wait. It says

spell number 139 is a spell finder spell.

Tentative yay?

We just have to cross our eyes and lie on the floor.

It's clean... ish.

Eyes combined, lie on the floor, help us find spell 134!

I believe this will tell you all you need to know.

Time to find out what spell 134 is.

- It's crossed out?! - It's crossed out.

Look at this. A list of failures. And for what?

We got nothing.

Wait, Kiff, think. Why did we cross all that stuff out?

Because we tried those things and they didn't work.

Okay, get there.

Which means spell 134 doesn't work.

That's why it's crossed out!

And Helen couldn't remember because it doesn't exist!

Like the good doc said, we're fine!