Original subtitles

Brought to you by Letterman's Alphabet Magnets.

They'll hold anything.

Mm. Mm-hmm.

Looking sharp, pal.

Aw, you clean up pretty nice as well.

Inside, we have everything we might need while attending

tonight's super fancy gala event

that I still can't believe we got tickets to.

Camera.

Autograph book.

- Wet naps. - Times four.

- Dry naps. - Times eight.

Speeches in case we get called on stage for some reason.

Two thank yous, and two I'm sorries.

Snacks in case we get hungry in between courses.

Well then, Kifferson, I do believe we are OTDR.

OTDR?

- Mm-hmm. - You know I love acronyms.

Mm-hmm.

Almost as much as I love guessing acronyms.

Mm-hmm. And this is a good one.

Okay, okay, don't tell me. Um, Over The Dang Routine.

- No. - Ah, darn.

Um, Orange Tie-Dye Rapscallion.

Do you really think that's what it is?

N... No. Uh, On The Dumb Radio?

Okay, I give up. What is OTDR?

Now, you hear people say, 'I'm ready,' all the time.

But are they?

Are they really ready?

Sure, they say they're ready, but they just need to get a hat,

or brush their teeth,

or turn off the oven.

Yeah, people do do that.

OTDR is a specific type of ready where you can walk out the door.

You got your keys in your hand. You are Out The Door Ready.

OTDR!

Mom, are you OTDR?

Am I what?

Out The Door Ready.

You can't be while fumbling with your purse.

Now am I OTDR?

I'm OTDR, too.

Just got to find my car keys.

- No! You're not even OTDR! - No! You're not OTDR!

You have to be ready to go. That's OTDR.

Okay. Now I am.

Hey, I'm missing a cufflink.

Guess I was just regular ready. Uh, BRB.

Hurry, Dad! We don't want to be late!

Should we, turn on the TV while we wait?

- Martin? - I can't find it!

Check the top right drawer!

Having the TV on might help pass the time.

But don't we want to stay OTDR?

Uh, Mom, where are you going?

I'm just gonna quickly put the dishes away

while Dad finds his cufflink.

OMG. Can you believe this?

Barry? Barry, no!

Well, better get the broom from the garage.

You don't seem excited to see me.

- Found it. Where's your mom? - I take it I wasn't what you were...

She's in the garage getting a broom to sweep up the plate

she dropped while putting the dishes away

because she was waiting for you.

...for a while. Although sometimes...

Ooh, Smoldering Cove.

Dad, no!

What? I can be OTDR while sitting on the couch.

Can't I?

Oh, well. Luckily,

I plan an extra 15 minutes into our schedule

for just this type of unexpected delay. Hm!

She doesn't know it yet, but I've secretly been taking...

trombone lessons.

This just in, our radar is picking up a severe thunderstorm

that will be blowing through Table Town in the next hour.

Residents should be prepared.

- Rain? - Kiff, is this thing outdoors?

I think it's indoor-outdoor.

Okay, I better get the umbrellas.

Do I get one?

Hmm. I think we have a fourth umbrella in the basement.

Where's your dad?

He's getting a fourth umbrella from the basement.

Well, I couldn't find the broom,

but I gotta get these broken pieces off the floor.

Oh, don't use your hands. You could get a sliver.

Oh, my ski gloves from the upstairs hall closet

that stores all our winter wear.

Your mom sure knows this house.

Okay, got the fourth umbrella.

Where's your mom?

Okay, where's your dad?

Okay, where's your mom?

All set. Where's your dad?

Now, I'm ready. Where's your mom?

- Where's your dad? - Where's your mom?

- Where's your dad? - Where's your mom?

- Where's your dad? - Where's your mom?

- Where's your dad? - Where's your dad?

Oh...

No, wait. I'm Dad. Where's your mom?

Okay, finally.

We are all OTDR, yes?

It's the landline.

Should we answer?

Ah, it could be important information about the venue.

Ugh, it could be the venue.

Okay, everyone stay here in OTDR position.

Don't move an O. Don't budge a T, D, or R.

Hello?

Yes, hello. This is Glarbin Gloobin.

It's Glarbin Gloobin, the town manager.

Sounds important.

Well, what can I do for you, Glarbin?

Uh, h... hold on a sec.

He put me on hold.

Did you put on deodorant?

I forgot.

Dad, I know what you're thinking. Don't.

Uh... Mm.

No... I see you.

Dad, no... Uh-uh. Shh.

No.

I'll be quick!

Well, I'm just gonna...

quickly finish... putting the dishes away.

- Gosh darn it! - Where's my deodorant?

Top drawer!

Wow, you guys. These exclusive Chubbles Wubbington coins

are only available today.

Order now, guys. Don't miss out.

Barry, I'm on hold.

Oh. I thought I could use the phone while you were on hold.

What? No, how would that work?

Locked myself in the bathroom.

Oh. Not again.

Why are you going to the garage? Dad's upstairs.

I know, but I gotta get the screwdriver to let him out.

Kiff, how do landlines work?

Barry, I don't know. But please just get off.

- I'm waiting for Glarbin. - Glarbin Gloobin?

Kiff, do you know where the screwdriver is?

How are we all on the phone at the same time?!

Barry, just call for the coins on your phone!

Aw. I want to save my battery

for the event in case I take an extremely high-def video.

- I'm coming back in. - Mom!

- Hello? - Yes, hello. I'm still here.

- Hi, Glarbin! - Barry!

Thank you for holding.

Glarbin, what is it? Why are you calling?

Well, you are actually one of the last two families

in Table Town to still have a landline.

And on behalf of the phone company,

we just wanted to say...

thank you.

Hello? Is someone coming to get me out?

I can't find the screwdriver.

Oh, wait. You're looking for the screwdriver and the broom?

- Yes. - I was using both earlier.

What? Why?

I left them in your room.

Oh, Kiff, you got a little rip.

Must have happened while getting the broom and screwdriver.

Squirrel attack!

You've lost your walking around privileges!

That's fair.

Are we OTDR?

- Uh-huh. - Mm-hmm.

Let's go!

What... now?

I can't go out there. The Pone is in his driveway.

Aw, he's with the Perm. They're still together.

- Who's the Perm? - Cherry Berry.

Yeah, no, it's a pretty new relationship, but...

I'm letting myself be excited about it.

We don't have time for this!

Let's... go!

Come on, Martin. Just a little small talk. Then, we'll get in the car.

You want me to make small talk with that conversational

bag of quicksand and his new girlfriend?

Nope. No way.

...okay? They come in their own plastic containers.

They have never been touched by hands.

Who is she calling?

My landline? It's got to be important.

Brilliant.

Uh, Kiff...

...there's a little ph... phone cord...

- Nope. - We're OTDR.

Okay. I'm okay now.

Thank you, family. Barry.

Brought to you by Tom's Indoor Traffic Cones.

Let's keep hallways safe, people.

Good morning, Table Town School. Here are today's announcements.

Secretary Prince's borrowable stapler has staples in it again.

The West Hallway is closed- 00 to- 00 p.m.

for spring waxing.

Please keep that clear. Thank you.

'Those who fail to learn from history are doomed to repeat it.'

Mm. What a classic.

Ugh. P.S. is a sweetie,

but his announcements are a snooze-fest.

It wasn't always like this.

Uh, nice storage closet, Sweeps.

- Today's lunch? - Spanakopita!

Just kidding.

It's eggplant parm. What else would it be?

Kids got to do the announcements?

Please. Please, please, please, please, please, please, please!

Announcements for kids, by kids!

Look, Barry, it's not that I don't want you to do them,

it's that doing them that way caused school-wide chaos.

Forget all that. That's ancient history.

History never repeats itself.

Thought you'd be way more cool about this, Secretary.

I'm cool. I'm... I'm a cool guy.

Fine. J... Okay. Look, just as long as it doesn't become some big production.

Yes! Your school every morning.

We're crossing over live

to Liz Kay for all your playground updates.

A TTS alumni who invites all your parents to use

his accounting services.

Is this boring?

In academic news, the book fair will extend

its run by two weeks, now ending in two weeks.

I think it's bad, Bar.

Oh, you want to turn on this box with the word ratings on it?

- To know for sure? - Huh.

Oh, yikes.

It's lower than when Principal Secretary was doing them.

Okay, we need some pizazz, some spark.

Candle, jazz it up for sports.

And now for sports news-uh!

The Ultimate team will meet after School-io.

If you could even call Ultimate a sport.

Uh, apologies, viewers.

I don't believe our camera tech knows that she's miked.

So, we here at Good Morning Table Town School

believe Ultimate is a sport.

Uh, it's not like a real sport.

Do I tell you how to operate the camera, Renée?

It's a sport. So stop saying it's not a sport.

Not a sport.

Barry, cut the feed.

Wait. Oh.

You like it when they argue, huh?

Ultimate was officially recognized as a sport over a decade ago.

By who? Not by me. Sports have to be hard,

- a little scary, and cool. - Tennis isn't scary.

I've had tennis-based nightmares.

Ultimate is scary. The name is intense.

Ultimate? Come on!

It's the cool part that's lacking.

Ultimate's not cool.

Billiam, hold cam one on Candle. Barry, zoom in on Trev.

Camera three, cut to Reggie.

Ready to help if needed.

Juice causes brain rot.

I propose drinking directly from the coconut.

Way too hairy. I say decaf tea.

Seltzer is a basic right.

I do my best thinking after a cola.

Velcro isn't the problem.

Radiators, end of discussion!

Name tags? They're hostile.

People claim they're carpooling.

Slippers are shoes!

Lines. Who needs them?

a City Hall PsyOp?

Cafeteria trays, what aren't they telling us?

Macaroni art. Where does it all go?

No, no, no.

Nuh-uh! Uh-uh! Uh-uh! Uh-uh!

I don't care about your dumb issue!

No, no, no, no!

There's a kid stuck in a ditch in the hallway?

- Is he okay? - Yep.

But wait, didn't we have that in our announcements

to keep clear of that hallway because of construction?

Yeah, but we ran over yesterday.

Shoot. That was important info.

Well, now, it's a big story.

The question is, whose fault is it?

It's Ditch Kid's fault. He should have seen those cones.

I was watching your show!

We've got to get to the bottom of this.

I am at the bottom of this.

Here's what I want to know.

Should we put a hat on him, so he's easier to look at?

Let's go to Hat Chat to figure it out.

- That is a visor. - It's a hat!

Well, by your logic, this is a hat.

Well, why don't we talk to an expert?

What do we think?

- Cowboy! - Sailor!

- Fedora! - Fedora!

P.S. was right.

This is out of control. I'm pulling the plug.

- Are we down? - We're down.

Power's down. We're not broadcasting.

It's over, Barry. This was a failed experiment.

Oh, never mind. We're back up.

What? How?

Emergency generator up and running.

The Ultimate team thanks Reggie for his noble service.

Ultimate team?

Trevor said beanie, and I agree.

Bucket hat.

Mr. RiPeppa, uh, don't you have a class to teach?

Eh, what's the point?

Everyone's glued to the Ditch Kid story.

I'll check back in four hours

to see if the announcements are still running.

Hey, I'm gonna need you to stop arguing and tell everyone else

to stop arguing, too. This has turned into

- an unreasonable distrac... - Sure, we'll do that.

Oh, thank you, Renée.

For a price.

I'm thinking sodas, but not colas.

We're still debating cola.

- Look, can't you just... - Sodas! Now! Chop chop!

Okay, what are your sodas besides colas?

Oh, you came on a great day for non-colas.

Our specials are some of the best we ever had.

Number one is a Key Lime Ricky.

A lot of people say no to using Key limes in a Ricky

because the classic is just regs lime,

but that's where I disagree.

See, my family, the Key Lime,

that was the cornerstone of...

...dation of the Ricky. To spice it up.

To say, hey, how you doing?

Oh, here's a little tropical something for your taste buds.

What are your sodas? Give me the info. No opinion.

Okay, I will have four orange fizzes.

Thank you. Gosh, why was that so hard?

Can't I just get the facts? The boring facts?

Wait a minute.

Facts are better than opinions!

Boring things are nice! They're beautiful and clear,

and respectful of everyone's time!

I was wrong about the announcements needing to be fun!

Clear, direct facts is what we need!

Facts are where it's at.

Oh, please make them boring again.

It's the only way to stop the madness!

It's the most boring series of notes in music.

Neat.

Good morning, Table Town School. Here are today's announcements.

Due to cloudless skies,

the playground slide will be a little hotter today.

Please slide with caution.

A number of hats have gone missing from Helen's Hat Box.

Please return if found.

Chirp.