Original subtitles

Maybe you should see a doctor?

What doctor?

Male, specialists.

Maybe you should go to the doctor?

No, I go every day.

When the doctor sees me from the other end of the hall, he shouts: "What, you're not pregnant yet?"

Why?

Why are you starting? What are you thinking about?

You shouldn't talk to a man like that.

We went to three doctors,

We've spent hundreds of thousands. What other doctor should I go to?

Psychiatrist.

If... once a week... I can't, then...

Kira, you only try once a week.

Yura, if a woman wants a child...

No, not like that. If a woman is in her 30s and wants a child...!

No, not like that. If it's a woman...!

What a child, it's all your nerves, your hysteria, because...

Because you make me angry, Yura!

You know what? Maybe you should go to the doctor?

It might also teach you how to participate in the process.

I don't know, let me advise you..., show you myself.

You know what!?

You know what? I'm going to see a psychiatrist! I'm going!

Maybe I'll get pregnant from him.

ADULTERY

Sorry. You don't need any doctor.

No need... I don't know anymore. Maybe I should.

I just said it like that. - Just like that?

Kira, let me take a look? - No need. - Come on! - No need. - Come on!

Knife, be careful!

And what?

Everything is fine.

Kitten!

My little muscle, small but good.

Forgive me, forgive me.

My aggressive tiger cub.

I punched without thinking.

Of course you don't need a psychiatrist.

You need a psychologist.

Anastasia! Hello!

Nastya, hello!

I said hello, Nastya. What's wrong with you?

I'm not Nastya! I'm Asya!

Sorry. Hello, Asya!

Stop. What's wrong with you? - Okay. You go straight, then a sharp right.

What's there? - Because there's a metro there. You get in, sit down and leave.

I don't take the subway. I think we could have breakfast.

By the way, how did you find me? - Using the license plates on the car.

I'll throw those plates away! - How gentle you are in the morning.

Listen, boy! - Yes.

Yes, you slept with a married woman. You're a hero.

But there are rules. - What rules?

What rules?

Keys.

The rules are as follows -

If you slept with a married woman, respect her, her husband, her home,

and never show up on her doorstep. Sure!

I thought we'd do it again.

We won't repeat anything.

Go to school or wherever you're headed, and I'll take out the trash.

Come on, I'll do it. A pretty girl shouldn't get dirty.

His mother!

I don't know about any rules and I don't give a shit about them at all.

Give me the keys! - Listen, let's have breakfast.

I can't. I have to go to work. - Work? And what do you do?

Interior designer. - You must be earning "super"?

Keys! - Keys?

Asya!

Who is the guy?

He grabbed my keys from the trash.

You threw away the keys? From our apartment?

From our apartment where there is no money.

Why are you throwing away the keys to our apartment?

You're like a schoolgirl today.

Okay, okay. I'm quiet.

Okay, come on, bird, but I want to understand everything slowly.

What should I talk about? - Everything, about lovers.

Where to find them, how to talk to them, I don't know, where to keep them, hide them.

I need a full, detailed course.

What next?

Are we going to hold an Olympic competition?

Why not. And that's work.

Will our table be ready soon? - In a minute.

Okay, let's start from the beginning. Where do you find them?

No. Where you find them is clear.

Where can I find them?

Dasha, do you need that?

Asya, I need you very much. We haven't seen each other for ten years...

... you've picked up a husband and three lovers during that time. And me?

Imagine, I've never cheated on anyone. In my entire life, Asya.

Not once?

At 16 I fell in love with Beckham - and that's it - my favorite footballer.

Did you really watch football? - Your table is ready.

Maybe your husband doesn't like you?

I don't work, I have a huge house,

A BMW with a driver... and that's all.

Maybe you just don't like him?

We are lying in bed, he hugs me and says:

"Dašo, you are a rich, happy, married woman. What are you missing?"

And I think - I could throw myself out the window right now.

Essentially, there is one rule:

If you want a lover, you need to completely control him.

In the sense?

A lover is a threat - a threat to your marriage,

Threat to your husband.

It follows from this: you need to be able to be ahead of him.

And how?

Let's take my Vadim... Is that your boss?

Yes, my boss. He's 40... 39.

My Vadik is meticulous, moderate.

Everything is tight with him. Everything is sharpened.

Vadim has decided to get married. - With whom?

Tanya, a former colleague. He had been dragging her along for 10 years.

Man! What a mess!

Vadik won't get married until he checks everything.

He checked his Tanya from all sides.

And, it seems he has decided.

And you?

I have a husband.

Another thing, he thinks he decides. That's funny.

Most importantly, I can outsmart him.

We had a meeting with a client this morning. It's lunchtime now. He went to buy a ring for Tanya.

I think he's already made his choice. He turned the whole store upside down,

He bothered the saleswoman, but he made up his mind.

Price, quality... Neither sooner nor later, he will be free at exactly three... He will call now.

Halo, Vadik.

Wait a minute! I have a call.

You need to contradict them. That's what seduces them.

Vadik, listen, I can't do it in 30 minutes.

Come on, 35, 40.

I didn't drive. Pick me up at the subway. That's all. I can't talk anymore.

Such a lover will never become a nuisance.

Okay. Class is over. I have to go.

Let's have dinner tonight. If you want, we can have it with our husbands.

I'm not sure our husbands will like each other.

Well, men always find something to talk about.

What is Kirill doing now?

Otolaryngologist. - What?

Ear, throat, nose.

Oh, that's right! He told the kids he was going to medical school,

and that he wants to be an ear, a throat, a nose.

You even said: "Oh, Lord, how can one love

ear, throat, nose.

Come in!

So, what is it? - Otitis media.

What to do!

Three ear infections, three days in a row.

I told you, Gleb. You shouldn't bet against an ear infection.

What's wrong with you?

What's wrong with me? Teeth, crooked teeth.

Like the tower of Pisa.

My wife doesn't like sex.

She doesn't like you, not the sex.

I don't like mine either.

What took so long?

Hurry up. I parked badly. The cars are stacked on top of each other.

Don't grumble.

What's new?

We're off to a good start.

It started, and that's all? - What else?

I would like details - who is the client,

What kind of job is it, new construction or renovation? Is it big?

Yes. - And that's the answer to what question?

You'll find out right away.

Wad, why are you like that?

Don't tell me you're so upset about the ring?

I understand that for you men it's stressful, a proposal, but have you already made up your mind?

Beautiful, rich, expensive.

I'm glad you like it.

Put it on.

What do you mean?

What's wrong with you, Vadim?

What? Are you asking me?

I'm already here.

I don't know what to tell you, Darya Sergeyevna.

That's what everyone said at first, Alexander Petrovich,

I don't understand, why did you come to me?

You've done all the findings, some even three times,

I'll tell you the same thing as any other doctor...

That I'm infertile? - No, we don't use that word.

You have a small chance of getting pregnant naturally.

I don't understand, why don't you do it differently?

Artificial insemination? I don't like the word "artificial".

Okay, use "out of body".

We will implant an embryo into you that...

You see, doctor...

I used to paint my own nails. Bad.

Now they do my manicure at the salon instead of me.

I used to work; badly. Now my husband works for me too.

I've driven a car before. It's terrible.

Now I have a driver who drives for me.

Darya Sergeyevna, that's different. We won't give birth for you.

I want to do something myself.

Will you help me?

I'm not a wizard.

Are you going to leave him here? - We won't be long.

Should I leave my phone number? - They can come through.

To whom? - Salnikov.

Girl, this is... a men's room.

Don't.

No need to do that.

The ring joke is a joke.

Don't laugh, it's not right for you. And that's because it's not a joke.

Oh, it's not a joke?

You've been preparing to marry Tanya for three months ,

who has been waiting for an asshole for ten years.

And then, wow! You're getting ready to marry someone there,

If you noticed, Asya is already married.

You can't just get divorced there.

I'm already getting a divorce. When did we decide that?

When I was waiting for you on the subway.

What nonsense is that, Wad?

When Tanya tells me: "I don't have a car, pick me up at the metro," do you know what I say?

Come on foot, nothing will happen to you.

What do you think, should I marry that woman?

I don't know, maybe I shouldn't.

We're talking about me here.

I haven't seen the apartment, but the owner says he dreams of having a designer decorate it.

I don't know what he means.

Hello. - Hello.

Come in.

Could you smile?

You didn't wear a prosthesis?

No. - Nothing, what am I asking? It's clear you didn't wear it.

Everything about you is from nature.

That's not all.

What are you talking about?

Thank you for not leaving me.

You probably have to go back to work?

No, my assistant will fix those wires in my mouth.

You are funny.

You're sitting with me, and you didn't ask me why I was crying there in the toilet.

Who was crying in the toilet? I didn't see anything.

Dasha...

... would you give me your phone number?

I would be of use to you.

Are you married?

Gleb, just be honest.

I'm married. - That's good.

That's good for you.

Write the number.

Pencil.

This apartment was given to me by my dad.

But here it's a little... not very good. Do you understand?

I want to change everything. Everything.

Individual style, new level and all that.

Can you do that?

I can. - Asya, you should write it down.

I'm writing it down.

I want it to be sassy, ​​aggressive.

We can say sexy. Can you do that?

We can.

Do you have a conceptual plan?

We can put a wall here to divide the space, to make it more intimate.

Intimate, that's good. Is intimate good?

Bring me a spider car!

We'll meet later and talk about the budget, deadlines,

and now I leave you with my designer, present your wishes to her,

and she will prepare several projects for you.

Yes, yes, I will be happy to present all my wishes.

Did someone recommend us to you? - Yes, a man I trust completely.

Carefully.

Goodbye. - Goodbye.

Finally.

Olga, I've been asking for my windows to be cleaned for three days now!

30000, that's 30000!

That's right! I didn't understand something!

No, I don't understand something. I didn't call you here.

I don't need an invitation, you're my husband! What is this?

That's the phone, Dasho.

And you didn't have to come all the way here to ask me that.

Ha, ha, ha, funny.

"I'm not going."

"Handle your lunches and friends at..."

Read to the end. Read.

Yura, this is swearing. - That's true, Dasho.

Why don't you join us for lunch?

That's my childhood friend. We hung out at the dacha.

And with her husband, future husband, who...

Okay, audio version -

Dasha, deal with your friends and your dick lunches. - Scott!!!

That's important to me! - Okay, I understand.

Come on, Dasha! I'll stop like this.

To be available to you if you want to kick me in the balls again.

Come on, Dašulj! - What? Are you angry?

Oh, no, what's wrong with you? I'm proud.

Someday I'll tell our children about it.

We won't have any children.

Of course, now you're going to divorce me for the hundredth time.

or you're going to knock something over here, break a couple of windows

Or are you going to hit me again here, right?

You are an idiot. - Idiot!

And why did you sleep with an idiot last night? - Should I only sleep with smart people?

Watch out, idiot, I understood the rules the first time.

What rules?

Rules for how to behave with a married woman.

I found your company on the internet, you are here, your partner is happy,

your husband won't know anything and you can be here every day and represent...,

as he said, "a project".

You're an idiot. - I am!

I don't intend to sleep with you.

Nor will I renovate your apartment.

But I followed the rules. - There are no rules, little one.

There is one rule - I will not.

I have a problem without you.

And I thought we'd get married. - Charming.

Just be quiet! Quiet!

Yes, dad.

Yes, at college.

No, of course not. Hello.

What, you didn't tell dad you were home and suggesting you fuck your aunt?

That's my dad.

Tell Dad he avoided a pointless and expensive repair.

And also that he shouldn't pay for sexual pleasures for his son.

What are you performing?

What are you talking about? - You're different, you're not like:

"Oh, Slava, we were sleeping, I don't know what to do, I never do that."

I'm not your only one? - Well, yes. By the way, I'm married.

Except for your husband!? I felt it when you were climbing over the fence.

"I'm not like that, I'm waiting for the tram" - that's not you.

You are exactly what you look like. - Wait a minute. Am I a whore?

You like sex.

What an observation.

You always do what you want. Always.

You're right. And now I want to leave. I left.

You're selfish. A terrible selfish. You turn me on terribly!

And you know how I understood?

So that on the way there, it wasn't me who fucked you, it was you who fucked me!

Just imagine. I'm completely freaked out. You're like a man, Asya. No, you're a man.

What, are you some kind of smart guy? - No, you're an idiot.

You don't want to meet my friend?

And she gave me excellent advice.

And I don't care about all her advice.

She said, "If you want to scream,

to hit, to divorce;

there is a better way.

It's not painful.

And... who will whom?

You me or I you?

Do you know how to do it differently?

And, there are not just two possibilities, but many more.

Nice panties. Did your husband give them to you?

No, he's not a husband.

That's Dad! - Dad?

Dad! Fuck, Dad! - He has the keys?

Let's go to the balcony. - No. I can't play with you. It's stupid.

Please, he's going to kill me! - I care about your dad. Let him kill you.

I said no!

Hedgehog, I need to take a shower.

You don't need to shower.

How did I get into this?

He's going to kill me.

What's up? You're not allowed to bring fish home?

I can't until I pass international law. And I'll never pass it.

How could I be with you, another time... and get involved in who knows what.

Maybe it's fate?

Dasha, who is Gleb?

He doesn't answer.

She probably gave me the wrong number.

Don't talk about it in front of me. I'm your family friend.

Friend... Family friend... I'll write a message.

What families? - Your families, you jerk!

Galja prepares the cookies when I arrive.

Fuck that. Like, you never cheated on Asya.

Once. But a long time ago. We weren't married yet.

Well, I need to repeat. - Why?

If you have such questions, what to talk about... "Why?"

And you would forgive adultery? - Me? No.

Neither would Asya.

"You chose a bad moment" - I chose a bad moment!

I made contact.

As far as I understand, your mom isn't there with him?

No. She's not my mom.

Wonderful.

How cold it is.

Wait. I have a ski suit here.

Hedgehog, I'm thirsty.

What are you like, like a little girl.

Just pants. Put them on.

Are you sorry?

He wants to eat, drink, pee - just like in kindergarten.

Son of a bitch! And I told him no fish until he lays down!

Shit! He found strawberries.

Hedgehog, let's eat it all.

What kind of strawberries?

Hello dad. - Slava, are you at college?

I can't talk. I'm in class.

Okay, when you're done, go straight to your mom, maybe she needs some help.

And wait for me there. I'll be there.

Okay. - We're having a serious conversation. Bye until then.

Open.

Will they mind if we eat it all?

I'll tell him: I confiscated it because I knew you were bringing in whores.

What did he say?

He told me to go to my mom's and wait for him there.

Shit. Looks like it's going to stay for a long time.

And you said "Okay." - Yes.

You said "Okay, Dad"! "Okay!"

Dasha,

You did it in four years...

Yura, can you talk about something else?

No, I'm in real shock.

Oh, Asya is calling.

Thank her for the good advice.

You'll thank her yourself. Hello, Aksyusha.

We're heading towards the restaurant. Are you there yet?

Dasho, I have a problem. A real emergency.

Olya, stop the car, I have to go to the bathroom.

Stop, it's still 20 minutes to the restaurant, you'll go there.

Dasha!

What happened? - Everything,

But right now I'm sitting on Slava's balcony, like in a bad joke.

What joke? - Any joke.

In that his dad came to Slavik's house from a business trip.

You said you had everything under control.

Everything is under control. Save me, please.

Just a minute, let me think of something. I'll call you in two minutes.

Why isn't your friend calling? - She will.

"They'll call." I'm curious how they'll help us? By helicopter?

Now you're making yourself important.

Five minutes ago you were sitting and whining:

"Dad's going to kill me. Dad's going to kill me." - I didn't whine.

Extremes excite me. And you?

But boys who pee in their pants don't.

Don't be angry.

Does your dad know about renovations?

Did you ask for approval? - I asked.

Okay, let's think about it.

Asya, can you take a look?

They're already there... you know...

Look for yourself. - Asya, that's my dad.

In short, like this: he lies down, she is on top of him and jumps like wild,

Her huge breasts are shaking, he can barely breathe...

Calm down, they're eating strawberries. Yours.

This one too.

Why are you at Slava's? You said you wouldn't go anymore.

Why are you on the balcony? Are you naked? Aren't you cold?

Who did his father come with? What are they doing there?

Dasha, Dasha, take it easy! Details later. Come and save me.

Marshal Biryuzov, 28.

How can I save you, Asya?

Go up to apartment 167 and ring the bell. - Okay, and...

A man in underwear will open it for you .

Say you came to Slava's, introduce yourself, I don't know,

Dasha... designer. You came to talk about renovation.

Okay, I understand.

He will tell you that you were wrong, that Slava is not here, but at the faculty.

And you tell him that you have an agreement. The main thing is that you are determined not to leave because Slava will come.

And if he calls Slava?

He won't answer. Scandal. Make a scandal, shout.

Don't worry about that, I'm a master at that.

I beg you. We're waiting for you like the frosty sun. Please.

Be sharp, let them forget about sex, I'm freezing.

Oh, I'm with my husband. What should I do? We went to a restaurant. What should I tell him?

Get rid of your husband.

Asya, how do I do that?

Dasha, this is urgent. Go. I'm counting on you. Please!

Are you ready? - Shall we go?

No, Olya, we're standing still, but we need to move. Come on, put your foot on the gas - you already know.

Yura, I have to go somewhere for half an hour.

Please?

You know... go to the restaurant without me,

and I have to...

Let's go back to the fitness club.

Interesting. What did you forget?

I forgot... my iPad.

Olya, let's go. You'll get it tomorrow.

I left the closet unlocked. What if it gets stolen?

It's already been stolen. Calm down.

Yura, I need it.

What do you want? To play? I forgot about it, so what? Let's go.

It's mine and I can't live without it. I can't sleep without it.

I have to go and get it now! What, can't I decide something myself?

Okay, I'll take a taxi!

Woman, what's wrong with you? Have you gone completely crazy?

If it's that important to you, Olya will take us to a restaurant.

so he'll come back and get the iPad. Okay?

Okay. - Let's go.

Not.

I have to go to the bathroom again. - Again?

Yes, again! - Are you pregnant?

Yes, I'm pregnant! My stomach is falling out of my pants!

Your plan is fine, but it doesn't seem to work.

Dad told me to go to my mom's house to meet with the designer.

You're not meeting anyone. The designer is a fraud.

She messed everything up, you called her earlier and canceled the meeting.

You came up with it yourself? - You're a genius!

You are so smart.

I'm a good liar, and that's not smart.

Truth.

Diamond?

Something tells me your husband didn't give it to you.

Why?

Your husband is a doctor, where does he get his money from?

How do you know who my husband is?

I know everything about you.

Where did you hang the ring, Aunt Asya?

My lover gave it to me.

He wants me to marry him.

You see, you don't know everything about me.