All language subtitles for D.2021.S02E04.720p.iP.WEB-DL.AAC2.0.H.264-RAWR.srt - eng(3)

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:03,960 Quite the dark horse, aren't you, Nina? Is it serious? 2 00:00:03,960 --> 00:00:06,520 And he said, "We're friends." 3 00:00:06,520 --> 00:00:08,280 Not everyone has to like you. 4 00:00:08,280 --> 00:00:10,200 Well, I like you, Dr MacArthur. 5 00:00:10,200 --> 00:00:12,600 I think he wants to boof you back to the Jurassic era. 6 00:00:12,600 --> 00:00:14,360 Are you not having fun at your baby drenching? 7 00:00:14,360 --> 00:00:16,840 You're not going to have an easy time, darling! 8 00:00:16,840 --> 00:00:19,200 If I hear about another ripped fanny, I'm going to pass out. 9 00:00:19,200 --> 00:00:22,680 Lee is playing in an open mic night, and he asked me to go. 10 00:00:22,680 --> 00:00:23,800 You came! 11 00:00:23,800 --> 00:00:25,600 Friends turn up for each other. 12 00:00:25,600 --> 00:00:26,640 Yeah... 13 00:00:26,640 --> 00:00:29,080 - FALSETTO: - # It doesn't matter what you do... # 14 00:00:29,080 --> 00:00:32,480 It's not a love triangle. It is a mild-feelings triangle at most. 15 00:00:32,480 --> 00:00:34,400 # As long as what you do is true... # 16 00:00:34,400 --> 00:00:35,520 Shots, please. 17 00:00:37,880 --> 00:00:39,280 - Tequila slammers! - GIRLS' NIGHT! 18 00:00:39,280 --> 00:00:40,720 This one is for you. 19 00:00:40,720 --> 00:00:42,840 Let's find out who wants to be more than friends. 20 00:00:42,840 --> 00:00:45,280 {\an8}SLURRING: I'm just putting out my feelers, Bo. 21 00:00:48,480 --> 00:00:49,640 What have I done?! 22 00:00:50,720 --> 00:00:51,840 What did you do?! 23 00:00:51,840 --> 00:00:53,720 I've done something terrible. 24 00:00:53,720 --> 00:00:55,880 If it's murder, we need to act quick, Nina. 25 00:00:55,880 --> 00:00:57,040 No body, no crime. 26 00:00:57,040 --> 00:00:59,000 Evie, it's so much worse! 27 00:00:59,000 --> 00:01:01,640 You know how when I get stressed... 28 00:01:01,640 --> 00:01:03,480 ..I do creative writing? 29 00:01:03,480 --> 00:01:06,920 Smut, Nina. You write smut. Let's not beat about the bush. 30 00:01:06,920 --> 00:01:09,120 - BOTH: - GO AWAY! 31 00:01:09,120 --> 00:01:14,320 Last night, when I got drunk, which made me stupid... 32 00:01:15,520 --> 00:01:18,880 ..I sent Lee and Clayton... 33 00:01:18,880 --> 00:01:22,200 ..Romancing The Bone: The Tina MacDonald Chronicles. 34 00:01:22,200 --> 00:01:25,120 You sent Romancing The Bone: The Tina MacDonald Chronicles?! 35 00:01:25,120 --> 00:01:26,520 Stop shouting! 36 00:01:26,520 --> 00:01:30,000 Wait, did you send them the Wattpad link or did you send them PDF? 37 00:01:30,000 --> 00:01:32,320 I sent a PDF! I'm not insane! 38 00:01:32,320 --> 00:01:33,400 This is good. 39 00:01:33,400 --> 00:01:36,840 They're not going to read the Harry Potter fan fiction. 40 00:01:36,840 --> 00:01:38,280 This is your fault. 41 00:01:38,280 --> 00:01:40,720 You were the one who was all "put out your feelers"! 42 00:01:40,720 --> 00:01:42,160 Feelers, Nina! 43 00:01:42,160 --> 00:01:44,520 A bit of flirting, bat your eyelids, touch their forearms! 44 00:01:44,520 --> 00:01:46,920 Don't send them your anthology of porn stories! 45 00:01:46,920 --> 00:01:49,120 I'M AUTISTIC - I DON'T KNOW WHAT FEELERS ARE! 46 00:01:49,120 --> 00:01:50,160 Ugh! 47 00:02:01,600 --> 00:02:04,800 WHIRRING 48 00:02:07,520 --> 00:02:09,040 GOOD MORNING, CHILDREN! 49 00:02:09,040 --> 00:02:11,400 - Morning... - Stop shouting! 50 00:02:11,400 --> 00:02:12,480 Ugh... 51 00:02:20,320 --> 00:02:22,000 NINA BURPS 52 00:02:23,400 --> 00:02:26,720 Mm. Drink it, it's like medicine. 53 00:02:26,720 --> 00:02:27,960 Fucking savages! 54 00:02:27,960 --> 00:02:29,040 I'm dying. 55 00:02:29,040 --> 00:02:30,240 Lurch, you going to vomit? 56 00:02:30,240 --> 00:02:33,240 No, she's got the fear, cos she sent her anthology of smutty stories 57 00:02:33,240 --> 00:02:35,520 to the American and the Coffee Man last night. 58 00:02:35,520 --> 00:02:37,920 I always thought you should call it Jurassic Pork. 59 00:02:37,920 --> 00:02:42,160 That wouldn't make any sense, because Tina handles human bones. 60 00:02:42,160 --> 00:02:43,200 Yeah, she does. 61 00:02:45,000 --> 00:02:46,560 What? 62 00:02:46,560 --> 00:02:47,720 Who told Bo?! 63 00:02:47,720 --> 00:02:49,400 No vaping in the kitchen! 64 00:02:49,400 --> 00:02:51,600 NINA COUGHS 65 00:02:49,400 --> 00:02:51,600 Evie! 66 00:02:51,600 --> 00:02:52,800 Oh, he was homesick at uni. 67 00:02:52,800 --> 00:02:54,400 I thought it would cheer him up! I'm sorry. 68 00:02:54,400 --> 00:02:55,840 Oh, God. 69 00:02:55,840 --> 00:02:57,000 I'm late. 70 00:02:57,000 --> 00:02:58,720 I've never been late for work. 71 00:02:58,720 --> 00:03:01,080 Shane's going to reprimand me for being hungover 72 00:03:01,080 --> 00:03:03,480 and he's going to tell me off for sending inappropriate emails. 73 00:03:03,480 --> 00:03:06,040 I really like the one where you fall in love with the falconer. 74 00:03:06,040 --> 00:03:09,320 GROWLING: Romancing The Bone is not about me! 75 00:03:09,320 --> 00:03:10,640 Pfft! Sure thing, babes. 76 00:03:10,640 --> 00:03:14,880 Tina is a fictitious, sexually empowered forensic anthropologist 77 00:03:14,880 --> 00:03:16,080 from the 1800s. 78 00:03:16,080 --> 00:03:20,560 I'm Nina, palaeontologist from the present day, 79 00:03:20,560 --> 00:03:23,080 who's also...sexually liberated. 80 00:03:24,320 --> 00:03:26,480 - Hugely different, Evie. Massively! - OK. 81 00:03:27,520 --> 00:03:30,400 I need to find a hacker! Nesh... 82 00:03:30,400 --> 00:03:33,320 - Ranesh! - Hmm? - Do you know anybody who's in the dark web? 83 00:03:33,320 --> 00:03:35,640 I'm in the dark web right now, Nina. 84 00:03:35,640 --> 00:03:37,120 Dark web of tequila slammers. 85 00:03:37,120 --> 00:03:39,360 Evie, can I tell them you wrote it? 86 00:03:39,360 --> 00:03:42,040 I think me writing smut about you is way weirder. 87 00:03:42,040 --> 00:03:45,000 Why is nobody trying to help me fix this? 88 00:03:45,000 --> 00:03:48,440 Maybe the question, Nina, isn't how you fix this, but... 89 00:03:48,440 --> 00:03:49,640 ..but why you sent it? 90 00:03:49,640 --> 00:03:52,680 I sent it, Ranesh, because drunk Nina thought 91 00:03:52,680 --> 00:03:55,480 it would be a good experiment to work out 92 00:03:55,480 --> 00:03:58,160 which one of the men liked me, based off of my writings. 93 00:03:58,160 --> 00:04:00,880 Well, then, you're going to have to go and gather your results. 94 00:04:00,880 --> 00:04:02,240 I don't want to. 95 00:04:02,240 --> 00:04:06,120 Sorry, Shagrid, the die hath been cast. 96 00:04:06,120 --> 00:04:09,840 TIME TO FACE THE MUSIC! 97 00:04:09,840 --> 00:04:13,200 This is why we should never do science whilst drunk, Nina. 98 00:04:13,200 --> 00:04:15,360 Well, it will certainly be interesting, 99 00:04:15,360 --> 00:04:19,040 - considering they're both in it. - No, they're not. - Yes, they are! 100 00:04:19,040 --> 00:04:21,880 Lee is Lawrence, the sugar merchant, 101 00:04:21,880 --> 00:04:24,760 and Clay is the new smarmy guy that Tina snogs 102 00:04:24,760 --> 00:04:26,400 when she's working away in Borneo! 103 00:04:26,400 --> 00:04:28,680 Did you snog Clay on the Isle of Wight? 104 00:04:28,680 --> 00:04:29,880 No! 105 00:04:29,880 --> 00:04:32,120 But you wanted to, didn't you? 106 00:04:32,120 --> 00:04:35,040 - No! - But your subconscious wanted you to. 107 00:04:35,040 --> 00:04:37,240 GROWLING: I don't know what my subconscious wanted, Evie - 108 00:04:37,240 --> 00:04:39,360 that's why it's called a SUB-conscious! 109 00:04:39,360 --> 00:04:40,560 QUIETLY: I'm sorry. 110 00:04:40,560 --> 00:04:44,120 I just... I write my stories so that I can... 111 00:04:44,120 --> 00:04:45,960 SHE RETCHES 112 00:04:45,960 --> 00:04:47,800 I'm fine. 113 00:04:47,800 --> 00:04:51,000 I write my stories so that I can try on different hats 114 00:04:51,000 --> 00:04:54,040 without, you know... trying on actual hats. 115 00:04:54,040 --> 00:04:55,680 Does that make sense? 116 00:04:55,680 --> 00:04:57,000 Oh, I'm going to be late. 117 00:04:57,000 --> 00:04:59,720 Go, go! Find out what hat fits your big heid. 118 00:04:59,720 --> 00:05:01,880 Come on, I'll give you a lift to work. 119 00:05:01,880 --> 00:05:04,600 You'll have to excuse the smell of the garlic mayo and sick - 120 00:05:04,600 --> 00:05:07,720 I had three heathens in my car last night. 121 00:05:07,720 --> 00:05:11,560 - INCREASINGLY LOUD: - We'll pick you up some electrolytes on the way! 122 00:05:11,560 --> 00:05:13,400 Oh, shit... 123 00:05:13,400 --> 00:05:15,360 Evie, can I take these? 124 00:05:15,360 --> 00:05:19,160 - I'm not going to eat them, I'm just going to roll them on my face. - Yeah. 125 00:05:28,000 --> 00:05:29,160 How you feeling? 126 00:05:29,160 --> 00:05:31,800 QUICKLY: Good. Good. Great. I'm good. I'm good. I'm great. I'm fine. 127 00:05:31,800 --> 00:05:33,440 That's...enough of that. 128 00:05:34,440 --> 00:05:35,760 So what's the plan, Batman? 129 00:05:35,760 --> 00:05:38,160 Probably try and delete the emails before they read them, 130 00:05:38,160 --> 00:05:39,920 and, if that fails, then I'm just going to say 131 00:05:39,920 --> 00:05:41,480 I was possessed by a horny ghost. 132 00:05:41,480 --> 00:05:44,000 I don't know what I'm doing, Bo - I'm raw-dogging life. 133 00:05:44,000 --> 00:05:46,440 I don't know why people do this. You know, just, like, make mistakes 134 00:05:46,440 --> 00:05:48,280 and then deal with the consequences? That's mad! 135 00:05:48,280 --> 00:05:50,720 You can never drink again. It makes you stupider than the normals. 136 00:05:50,720 --> 00:05:53,080 More stupid, Bo. Not stupider. 137 00:05:53,080 --> 00:05:54,120 There she is. 138 00:05:56,320 --> 00:05:57,480 Seat belt. 139 00:06:02,520 --> 00:06:05,440 SHE TAKES A DEEP BREATH 140 00:06:12,280 --> 00:06:15,160 Hello, Dr MacArthur. 141 00:06:15,160 --> 00:06:17,600 Hello, coffee vendor Lee... 142 00:06:17,600 --> 00:06:19,600 Feeling a little worse for wear, are we? 143 00:06:19,600 --> 00:06:20,760 - Yep. - Heh. 144 00:06:22,240 --> 00:06:23,920 QUIETLY: OK. 145 00:06:23,920 --> 00:06:25,680 Did you get any emails last night? 146 00:06:25,680 --> 00:06:27,680 Och, not on this bad boy. 147 00:06:27,680 --> 00:06:29,840 Finally got a replacement phone. 148 00:06:29,840 --> 00:06:31,920 - Oh, it's old! - Yeah. 149 00:06:31,920 --> 00:06:33,760 Well, I thought since the last one exploded, 150 00:06:33,760 --> 00:06:36,160 maybe it was time to have a bit of a digital detox. 151 00:06:36,160 --> 00:06:39,320 You know, cut down on the old, er... doom scrolling. 152 00:06:39,320 --> 00:06:40,760 And if I need to check my emails, 153 00:06:40,760 --> 00:06:42,040 I've got my tablet. 154 00:06:42,040 --> 00:06:44,120 Plus, this one's got Snake. 155 00:06:44,120 --> 00:06:45,760 Do you want to try and beat my top score? 156 00:06:45,760 --> 00:06:48,680 - No. - No? - No-no, thank you. 157 00:06:48,680 --> 00:06:50,080 Oh. 158 00:06:50,080 --> 00:06:52,640 Er...so, what were you saying? About emails? 159 00:06:52,640 --> 00:06:57,680 Just, um, asking if you got any-any unexpected emails? 160 00:06:57,680 --> 00:06:58,960 Like what? 161 00:06:58,960 --> 00:07:02,720 Like, um, oh... the-the head of the museum. 162 00:07:02,720 --> 00:07:04,160 He-he sent an email last night 163 00:07:04,160 --> 00:07:08,360 about how people were taking drugs in the museum and... 164 00:07:08,360 --> 00:07:09,920 ..the police are coming. 165 00:07:09,920 --> 00:07:12,800 Er, an inspector shall call forthwith. 166 00:07:12,800 --> 00:07:14,640 - Huh? - It's-it's mad. 167 00:07:14,640 --> 00:07:15,960 - Well, I can check... - No! 168 00:07:15,960 --> 00:07:18,280 No, no, no, no, cos you don't work at the museum, 169 00:07:18,280 --> 00:07:21,600 so why would you get museum emails? 170 00:07:21,600 --> 00:07:22,880 BEEPING 171 00:07:22,880 --> 00:07:25,040 Ah, balls! I haven't changed the coffee. 172 00:07:25,040 --> 00:07:27,080 Can you, um...hold the fort? 173 00:07:27,080 --> 00:07:28,320 Fort held. 174 00:07:31,000 --> 00:07:32,880 SHE LAUGHS NERVOUSLY 175 00:07:32,880 --> 00:07:35,240 HISSING: Declan! Declan! 176 00:07:35,240 --> 00:07:38,840 - What's the problem? - Last night, I got sauced 177 00:07:38,840 --> 00:07:41,960 and I sent an inappropriate email to Lee and I need to... 178 00:07:41,960 --> 00:07:44,200 I need to go steal his tablet to delete the email 179 00:07:44,200 --> 00:07:46,480 - and you need to distract him while I do that, OK? - You... 180 00:07:46,480 --> 00:07:50,400 Just improvise! Raw-dog it! 181 00:07:50,400 --> 00:07:53,000 Hey, Declan. 182 00:07:53,000 --> 00:07:55,920 Oh, argh! Aargh! 183 00:07:55,920 --> 00:07:59,120 - Myocardial infarction! - Oh! - Oh, God! - Oh! - Oh, God! 184 00:07:59,120 --> 00:08:02,160 Oh, God, oh, oh! Oh, OK. 185 00:08:02,160 --> 00:08:05,520 - OK, OK, there's a chair there, then I'll get you help. - Ah... 186 00:08:05,520 --> 00:08:06,640 DECLAN PANTS 187 00:08:06,640 --> 00:08:09,040 - Are you OK? - Argh! - Oh...oh! 188 00:08:09,040 --> 00:08:12,120 Er, I-I don't know CPR. 189 00:08:12,120 --> 00:08:14,360 I'm calling 999. Nina! 190 00:08:14,360 --> 00:08:16,080 Ca-caw! 191 00:08:16,080 --> 00:08:17,720 Oh! Er... 192 00:08:17,720 --> 00:08:19,720 I think it's just a bit of heartburn, actually. 193 00:08:24,640 --> 00:08:26,320 Er, y-your coffee? 194 00:08:26,320 --> 00:08:27,680 Oh, aye. 195 00:08:27,680 --> 00:08:30,200 Better not, I might shit myself. 196 00:08:30,200 --> 00:08:31,440 Why did I say that?! 197 00:08:33,680 --> 00:08:34,720 Bye! 198 00:08:39,560 --> 00:08:41,520 Morning, sunshine. 199 00:08:41,520 --> 00:08:43,720 And you said the Scots could handle their drink. 200 00:08:43,720 --> 00:08:46,320 The going in is fine, it's the coming back out that's the problem. 201 00:08:46,320 --> 00:08:49,120 He's not supposed to be here. He's front of house. 202 00:08:49,120 --> 00:08:51,840 Declan's right - you're not supposed to be here. You're front of house. 203 00:08:51,840 --> 00:08:54,760 I got a meeting with Shane about the big fundraiser day. 204 00:08:54,760 --> 00:08:57,440 He needs my measurements for a costume. 205 00:08:57,440 --> 00:08:59,000 Feet off my desk. 206 00:08:59,000 --> 00:09:01,840 How are you so chipper? You were steaming when I left you last night. 207 00:09:01,840 --> 00:09:05,200 I took a shower, ran off the booze, came back and... 208 00:09:05,200 --> 00:09:07,560 ..guess what I found on my laptop. 209 00:09:07,560 --> 00:09:09,000 Deportation papers? 210 00:09:09,000 --> 00:09:12,560 No, no, no, it wasn't that. It was an email... 211 00:09:12,560 --> 00:09:15,400 - SCOTTISH ACCENT: - ..from my favourite Scottish lassie. 212 00:09:15,400 --> 00:09:18,360 - Did you read it? - Only the title. Haven't had time. 213 00:09:18,360 --> 00:09:20,920 I've been saving it for later. Looks fascinating. 214 00:09:20,920 --> 00:09:22,000 - Hey, Pheebs. - Hi. 215 00:09:22,000 --> 00:09:23,880 Please delete it. 216 00:09:23,880 --> 00:09:25,000 I don't know. 217 00:09:25,000 --> 00:09:28,040 You know, you once told me it's rude to take back gifts. 218 00:09:28,040 --> 00:09:30,160 But this wasn't a gift, this was a mistake. 219 00:09:30,160 --> 00:09:32,480 Mm. I'll delete it if you give me something. 220 00:09:32,480 --> 00:09:34,360 Oh, I'll give you me not punching you in the windpipe. 221 00:09:34,360 --> 00:09:35,640 How about that, big American boy? 222 00:09:35,640 --> 00:09:38,000 Always tempting me with a good time, Scotland. 223 00:09:39,560 --> 00:09:40,880 Please delete it. 224 00:09:43,640 --> 00:09:44,800 I'll think about it. 225 00:09:44,800 --> 00:09:45,840 Ready for me? 226 00:09:47,040 --> 00:09:48,200 I was born ready. 227 00:09:54,880 --> 00:09:57,400 Oh! 228 00:10:00,200 --> 00:10:01,480 TOUCHPAD KEYS TAP 229 00:10:01,480 --> 00:10:03,200 BUZZER 230 00:10:03,200 --> 00:10:04,520 NINA SIGHS 231 00:10:04,520 --> 00:10:07,000 Have you tried the Battle of Hastings? 232 00:10:07,000 --> 00:10:10,200 I've narrowed the numbers down to 1, 3, 7 and 9, 233 00:10:10,200 --> 00:10:13,560 based off of fingerprint grease, but I don't know in which order. 234 00:10:13,560 --> 00:10:18,720 1973 - the end of the US involvement in the Vietnam War. 235 00:10:18,720 --> 00:10:23,400 1793 - the French declare war against Great Britain. 236 00:10:23,400 --> 00:10:26,880 1739 - the War of Jenkins' Ear. 237 00:10:26,880 --> 00:10:28,600 - I... - 1397... 238 00:10:31,080 --> 00:10:32,760 I can't think of a war. 239 00:10:32,760 --> 00:10:34,760 Declan, I don't think it's going to be a war. 240 00:10:34,760 --> 00:10:35,800 But thank you. 241 00:10:35,800 --> 00:10:37,720 I mean, some great ideas for the fundraiser. 242 00:10:37,720 --> 00:10:39,840 - KEYPAD TAPS AND BUZZER - I love your big American energy. 243 00:10:39,840 --> 00:10:41,920 - Thanks, Shane. - I'll see you soon. 244 00:10:41,920 --> 00:10:43,720 Where are you going? 245 00:10:43,720 --> 00:10:45,960 - I'm going to go read my emails. - No... 246 00:10:48,760 --> 00:10:50,160 SHE CLEARS HER THROAT 247 00:10:51,320 --> 00:10:52,680 WHISPERING: What do you want? 248 00:10:54,960 --> 00:10:56,080 "Want"? 249 00:10:56,080 --> 00:10:58,720 What do you want to delete the email? 250 00:10:58,720 --> 00:11:00,840 Yeah, I'm feeling homesick. 251 00:11:00,840 --> 00:11:03,680 Aw. Shall I run to the break room and fetch you my teabags 252 00:11:03,680 --> 00:11:05,440 so you can run down to the River Kelvin 253 00:11:05,440 --> 00:11:06,640 and chuck them in, in protest? 254 00:11:06,640 --> 00:11:09,000 Nah, no, that won't do. I'm thinking... 255 00:11:11,760 --> 00:11:14,360 - Sing it to me. - No. Mm-mm. 256 00:11:14,360 --> 00:11:16,200 Look, you said - and I quote... 257 00:11:16,200 --> 00:11:18,200 - SCOTTISH ACCENT: - .."It's my favourite national anthem" 258 00:11:18,200 --> 00:11:19,400 Ugh... I do not sound like that! 259 00:11:19,400 --> 00:11:20,480 Totally do. 260 00:11:20,480 --> 00:11:22,360 And, yes, it is my favourite national anthem. 261 00:11:22,360 --> 00:11:23,640 So sing it to me! Just this... 262 00:11:23,640 --> 00:11:25,960 OK... Look, just give me a couple of bars 263 00:11:25,960 --> 00:11:28,880 and I'll delete the email, I promise. 264 00:11:28,880 --> 00:11:30,040 Grr... Fine! 265 00:11:31,120 --> 00:11:32,520 Whoa! 266 00:11:37,160 --> 00:11:40,480 Stand there and don't make eye contact with me. 267 00:11:40,480 --> 00:11:41,720 Yes, ma'am. 268 00:11:41,720 --> 00:11:42,840 SHE CLEARS HER THROAT 269 00:11:47,640 --> 00:11:51,600 # Oh, say can you see... # 270 00:11:51,600 --> 00:11:54,400 SIRENS WAIL 271 00:11:51,600 --> 00:11:54,400 # By the dawn's early light 272 00:11:54,400 --> 00:11:56,000 TRAIN RUMBLES, HORN HONKS 273 00:11:56,000 --> 00:11:59,440 # What so proudly we hailed... # PNEUMATIC DRILL CLATTERS 274 00:11:59,440 --> 00:12:04,040 # And the home of the brave? # 275 00:12:05,320 --> 00:12:06,720 - Yes! Come on! - Shh! 276 00:12:06,720 --> 00:12:08,520 Delete. The. Email. Now. 277 00:12:11,440 --> 00:12:12,840 PHONE BEEPS 278 00:12:12,840 --> 00:12:14,360 As you wish. 279 00:12:14,360 --> 00:12:16,080 Thank you. 280 00:12:16,080 --> 00:12:18,400 Pleasure doing business with you. 281 00:12:18,400 --> 00:12:19,760 Not much point, though. 282 00:12:19,760 --> 00:12:22,840 Got it all up here. An eidetic memory. 283 00:12:22,840 --> 00:12:25,400 "Tina breathed heavily as the Right Honourable McLachlan 284 00:12:25,400 --> 00:12:26,840 - "then slid his hand up..." - You bastard! 285 00:12:26,840 --> 00:12:30,000 - You read it already, you dirty bastard! - Muy caliente. 286 00:12:30,000 --> 00:12:31,480 How? You said you didn't have time. 287 00:12:31,480 --> 00:12:33,640 I lied. Plus I'm a fast reader and I micro nap. 288 00:12:33,640 --> 00:12:35,000 - You know this about me. - Ugh... 289 00:12:35,000 --> 00:12:36,880 Is the smarmy gent from Borneo supposed to be me? 290 00:12:36,880 --> 00:12:39,440 No! It's David Boreanaz, obviously. 291 00:12:39,440 --> 00:12:42,000 You can tell by the description of his zygomatic. 292 00:12:42,000 --> 00:12:45,280 - From Buffy? - No, from Bones! Eh! 293 00:12:45,280 --> 00:12:47,120 Go away! 294 00:12:47,120 --> 00:12:48,800 We're going the same way! 295 00:12:48,800 --> 00:12:50,400 SHE HISSES 296 00:12:50,400 --> 00:12:51,720 Bye, Declan. 297 00:12:51,720 --> 00:12:53,840 1379 - the Byzantine Civil War ended. 298 00:12:53,840 --> 00:12:55,200 KEYPAD TAPS AND BUZZES 299 00:12:55,200 --> 00:12:57,000 Great. Thank you, Declan. 300 00:12:58,920 --> 00:13:01,960 Well...this is hopeless. 301 00:13:01,960 --> 00:13:04,560 I'm going to... I'm going to have to tell Lee. 302 00:13:04,560 --> 00:13:07,600 When you find his password, will you tell me the significance? 303 00:13:07,600 --> 00:13:09,600 Yeah, Declan - top of the list. 304 00:13:11,000 --> 00:13:13,120 Not going to be able to think of anything else. 305 00:13:14,560 --> 00:13:16,840 Fudge bucket! I forgot my bits. 306 00:13:20,840 --> 00:13:24,120 Thank God you're here - someone stole my tablet! 307 00:13:24,120 --> 00:13:27,960 Do you think it's those pesky, drug-taking palaeontologists? 308 00:13:27,960 --> 00:13:29,400 I made them up. 309 00:13:29,400 --> 00:13:30,680 It was me that took it. 310 00:13:31,720 --> 00:13:33,520 Yeah, no, I guessed that. 311 00:13:33,520 --> 00:13:34,800 You know, since it went missing 312 00:13:34,800 --> 00:13:38,000 around the time that you were making bird noises to Declan. 313 00:13:38,000 --> 00:13:40,240 You, er...want to tell me what's going on? 314 00:13:40,240 --> 00:13:44,640 Last night, when I was drunk, I sent you a really embarrassing email. 315 00:13:45,840 --> 00:13:47,120 Can you delete it, please? 316 00:13:49,120 --> 00:13:50,440 Sure. 317 00:13:50,440 --> 00:13:52,240 - Seriously? - Yeah. 318 00:13:52,240 --> 00:13:53,880 I don't want to embarrass you. 319 00:13:53,880 --> 00:13:55,800 What's the significance of 1793? 320 00:13:55,800 --> 00:13:56,960 Corner numbers. 321 00:13:58,080 --> 00:14:00,520 And...gone! 322 00:13:58,080 --> 00:14:00,520 TABLET BEEPS 323 00:14:00,520 --> 00:14:01,560 SHE SIGHS 324 00:14:02,600 --> 00:14:04,080 Was it nudes? 325 00:14:04,080 --> 00:14:05,440 So much worse. 326 00:14:05,440 --> 00:14:07,840 HE CHUCKLES 327 00:14:05,440 --> 00:14:07,840 Will you tell me one day? 328 00:14:07,840 --> 00:14:10,760 I will. But...definitely not today. 329 00:14:12,320 --> 00:14:13,480 Feeling better? 330 00:14:15,600 --> 00:14:16,640 Thank you. 331 00:14:17,840 --> 00:14:19,360 What are you doing this weekend? 332 00:14:19,360 --> 00:14:22,800 Oh, you know, the usual - wash my hair, 333 00:14:22,800 --> 00:14:26,480 watch videos on meal-prepping, while ordering takeaway. 334 00:14:26,480 --> 00:14:27,920 You know, packed schedule. 335 00:14:27,920 --> 00:14:29,000 Oh. 336 00:14:29,000 --> 00:14:33,200 No, er...why? Um...what's-what's...? What are you doing this weekend? 337 00:14:33,200 --> 00:14:36,200 My dad wanted to do that Tough Man competition in the park 338 00:14:36,200 --> 00:14:39,160 but he found out it was a £200 entry fee, 339 00:14:39,160 --> 00:14:43,200 so he's built his own Tough Man race in the garden. 340 00:14:43,200 --> 00:14:46,520 We're all going to go and eat mince and tatties and watch him fall over. 341 00:14:46,520 --> 00:14:49,080 Um, just the family. 342 00:14:49,080 --> 00:14:51,840 I... Would you like to come? I mean... 343 00:14:51,840 --> 00:14:53,280 ..I would like you to come. 344 00:14:53,280 --> 00:14:56,040 And, um...no work friends or...? 345 00:14:56,040 --> 00:14:58,600 Mm-mm. Absolutely no work friends. 346 00:14:58,600 --> 00:15:00,680 Er, I'd love to. Yeah, I'll be...I'll be there. 347 00:15:00,680 --> 00:15:01,920 OK. Cool. 348 00:15:01,920 --> 00:15:03,600 Do you want the coffee now? 349 00:15:03,600 --> 00:15:05,680 Ooh, best not. Just a tea please. In case... 350 00:15:05,680 --> 00:15:07,120 In case you... Yeah. 351 00:15:16,640 --> 00:15:20,640 Welcome to the inaugural Annual Tough Daddy Run! 352 00:15:20,640 --> 00:15:21,960 HE STRAINS 353 00:15:21,960 --> 00:15:23,920 - Don't say "Tough Daddy". - Hard Daddy? 354 00:15:23,920 --> 00:15:26,280 Eurgh! Just stop saying "Daddy" altogether! 355 00:15:26,280 --> 00:15:28,200 Your generation ruin everything. 356 00:15:28,200 --> 00:15:30,120 200 quid for an obstacle course?! 357 00:15:30,120 --> 00:15:31,840 I said to the fella on the phone, I said, 358 00:15:31,840 --> 00:15:34,200 "Ha, you must think I was born yesterday. 359 00:15:34,200 --> 00:15:37,320 "I'll-I'll build my own Tough Run for that amount of money." 360 00:15:37,320 --> 00:15:38,600 He laughed, Nina. 361 00:15:39,760 --> 00:15:41,040 Well, who's laughing now? 362 00:15:41,040 --> 00:15:42,880 So that cost less than 200 quid? 363 00:15:42,880 --> 00:15:45,360 No, but that catsuit cost him 150 quid alone, 364 00:15:45,360 --> 00:15:46,760 and he's wearing it back to front! 365 00:15:46,760 --> 00:15:49,480 Ah, a tough man builds his own challenges, Nina! 366 00:15:49,480 --> 00:15:53,120 He doesn't need some Oxbridge bed-wetter with a degree in jogging 367 00:15:53,120 --> 00:15:54,440 to bleed him dry. 368 00:15:54,440 --> 00:15:56,960 All right, Vomster, recovered from your bender last weekend? 369 00:15:56,960 --> 00:15:59,160 - You had a bender? - Evie made me. 370 00:15:59,160 --> 00:16:02,320 Evie! You know your sister gets overstimulated! 371 00:16:02,320 --> 00:16:04,840 I think you'll find she was the one doing the stimulating! 372 00:16:04,840 --> 00:16:06,040 Shut up! 373 00:16:06,040 --> 00:16:07,160 Who were you stimulating, Nina? 374 00:16:07,160 --> 00:16:10,280 Oh, and now stimulating has been added to the banned-word list! 375 00:16:10,280 --> 00:16:13,200 Nina sent her erotic fiction to the Coffee Man and the American. 376 00:16:13,200 --> 00:16:16,120 - Evie! - Romancing The Bone? Oh, it's brilliant. 377 00:16:16,120 --> 00:16:18,040 You should get a publisher for that, Bean! 378 00:16:18,040 --> 00:16:20,320 You could be a millionaire, like the 50 Shades woman! 379 00:16:20,320 --> 00:16:21,800 Which one... 380 00:16:21,800 --> 00:16:23,560 ..of you treacherous bastards... 381 00:16:23,560 --> 00:16:25,560 sent Romancing The Bone to my dad? 382 00:16:25,560 --> 00:16:27,080 I sent it to your dad. 383 00:16:27,080 --> 00:16:29,120 - Bo sent it to me. - Bo! 384 00:16:29,120 --> 00:16:31,640 I like the story where the olden days version of Nina 385 00:16:31,640 --> 00:16:34,800 shags the Right Honourable politician in front of a mirror. 386 00:16:34,800 --> 00:16:37,680 Yes, so the politician was based on the weird guy 387 00:16:37,680 --> 00:16:39,720 that lived across the road when she was 25! 388 00:16:39,720 --> 00:16:41,320 Garth, who worked for Greenpeace? 389 00:16:41,320 --> 00:16:43,240 Yeah, he was very flattered, Nina. 390 00:16:43,240 --> 00:16:44,680 Ew! 391 00:16:44,680 --> 00:16:46,720 So? What do they think? 392 00:16:46,720 --> 00:16:47,760 Who? 393 00:16:47,760 --> 00:16:50,040 The Coffee Man and the American. What was the feedback? 394 00:16:50,040 --> 00:16:51,840 SHE BREATHES RAPIDLY 395 00:16:51,840 --> 00:16:53,560 Clayton made me sing the Star-Spangled Banner 396 00:16:53,560 --> 00:16:54,600 to get him to delete it, 397 00:16:54,600 --> 00:16:56,320 but it didn't matter because he'd read it already! 398 00:16:56,320 --> 00:16:58,520 And Lee deleted it without reading it because he knew I was upset. 399 00:16:58,520 --> 00:17:00,320 Excuse me one second. 400 00:17:00,320 --> 00:17:01,960 MUFFLED SCREAM 401 00:17:01,960 --> 00:17:04,280 SHE CLEARS HER THROAT Thank you. 402 00:17:04,280 --> 00:17:07,520 Point is, I shouldn't have sent it. 403 00:17:07,520 --> 00:17:09,120 It was very silly of me. 404 00:17:09,120 --> 00:17:10,800 Which is code for "off her tits". 405 00:17:10,800 --> 00:17:12,840 Well...there's your answer. 406 00:17:12,840 --> 00:17:15,440 Lee passed the test - he put your feelings first. 407 00:17:15,440 --> 00:17:17,720 - It wasn't a test, Mum. - It was an experiment. - Thank you. 408 00:17:17,720 --> 00:17:19,800 An experiment which Lee is the winner of, 409 00:17:19,800 --> 00:17:21,080 so he's coming for dinner tonight. 410 00:17:21,080 --> 00:17:24,600 So Lee's the sugar merchant and Clay's the falconer? 411 00:17:24,600 --> 00:17:26,120 No. No, no, no. Clay is the 412 00:17:26,120 --> 00:17:28,640 - enemies-to-lovers story in Borneo. - Oh! 413 00:17:28,640 --> 00:17:31,080 No. No. No. No. 414 00:17:31,080 --> 00:17:32,880 Nobody's Lee. Nobody's Clay. 415 00:17:32,880 --> 00:17:34,200 Nobody's anything. 416 00:17:34,200 --> 00:17:36,080 It's all just fictitious. I just... 417 00:17:36,080 --> 00:17:37,680 A fantasy that I created! 418 00:17:37,680 --> 00:17:39,320 Fantasies with parallels. 419 00:17:41,080 --> 00:17:45,200 Listen, Lee is the one person in the whole of Scotland 420 00:17:45,200 --> 00:17:47,560 who apparently hasn't read my creative writing. 421 00:17:47,560 --> 00:17:49,840 - ALL: - Smut! - SHUT UP! 422 00:17:49,840 --> 00:17:50,880 DOORBELL 423 00:17:50,880 --> 00:17:52,040 Oh... 424 00:17:52,040 --> 00:17:54,400 He's the one person who I would like not to read it yet. 425 00:17:54,400 --> 00:17:57,840 So, for the love of everything that is holy, 426 00:17:57,840 --> 00:17:59,960 will you please, please... 427 00:18:01,840 --> 00:18:02,960 ..be chill? 428 00:18:02,960 --> 00:18:06,160 We will be chill if you admit that Lee is the sugar merchant. 429 00:18:06,160 --> 00:18:07,240 NINA GROWLS 430 00:18:08,480 --> 00:18:09,560 It's not a no. 431 00:18:09,560 --> 00:18:11,680 THEY CHEER 432 00:18:09,560 --> 00:18:11,680 Shush! 433 00:18:16,680 --> 00:18:20,080 INSECT BUZZES 434 00:18:22,800 --> 00:18:24,360 - Hi. - Hi. 435 00:18:24,360 --> 00:18:25,400 Hello. 436 00:18:26,600 --> 00:18:27,680 Er, Amber messaged me, 437 00:18:27,680 --> 00:18:28,800 asked me to bring them. 438 00:18:28,800 --> 00:18:31,760 Oh, I'd block her number now, or you will be on the receiving end 439 00:18:31,760 --> 00:18:33,560 of some very questionable podcast clips. 440 00:18:33,560 --> 00:18:35,120 Oh, it's too late for that. 441 00:18:35,120 --> 00:18:37,840 I'm already knee-deep into the lore of Club Shay Shay. 442 00:18:39,280 --> 00:18:41,440 - EVIE: - Act natural. 443 00:18:41,440 --> 00:18:42,480 Hi. 444 00:18:43,800 --> 00:18:47,000 - Hello. - Hi. - What's happening? - Salutations. 445 00:18:47,000 --> 00:18:48,080 So, er... 446 00:18:49,520 --> 00:18:52,480 ..what made you want to do the Tough Man race in the first place, Ade? 447 00:18:52,480 --> 00:18:55,040 See, when I was wee, I thought my Granda was ancient. 448 00:18:55,040 --> 00:18:57,520 But he was actually the same age I am right now. 449 00:18:57,520 --> 00:19:00,360 He-he couldn't move, he was... he was always in his bed. 450 00:19:00,360 --> 00:19:01,880 Like the Granda in Willy Wonka? 451 00:19:01,880 --> 00:19:03,560 Aye! But naw. 452 00:19:03,560 --> 00:19:06,560 See, the Granda from Willy Wonka was just...lazy. 453 00:19:06,560 --> 00:19:09,800 The cunt sprang right up at the prospect of a free factory tour. 454 00:19:09,800 --> 00:19:11,880 I just don't want to be that kind of granda. 455 00:19:11,880 --> 00:19:15,000 But you won't - you hate a factory tour, Dad. 456 00:19:15,000 --> 00:19:18,680 All right, guys, if we want to get to 250 laps before dark, 457 00:19:18,680 --> 00:19:20,680 we need to start pronto, Ade. 458 00:19:20,680 --> 00:19:22,560 CONTENDER, READY? 459 00:19:22,560 --> 00:19:23,880 THEY WHOOP 460 00:19:23,880 --> 00:19:25,920 GLADIATORS, READY? 461 00:19:25,920 --> 00:19:29,000 THEY CHEER 462 00:19:29,000 --> 00:19:30,840 Ade, you'll go on my first whistle! 463 00:19:32,760 --> 00:19:33,880 HE WHISTLES 464 00:19:33,880 --> 00:19:35,560 - Go! - That was it. 465 00:19:35,560 --> 00:19:36,720 Yay! 466 00:19:38,240 --> 00:19:41,200 THEY CHEER 467 00:19:45,600 --> 00:19:46,800 Yay! 468 00:19:46,800 --> 00:19:47,960 Knees up! 469 00:19:51,040 --> 00:19:52,200 Go on, Dad! 470 00:19:52,200 --> 00:19:53,960 - ALL: - Oh! 471 00:19:53,960 --> 00:19:55,480 Yes! 472 00:19:55,480 --> 00:19:57,200 THEY CHEER 473 00:20:00,800 --> 00:20:02,200 I'm really glad you came. 474 00:20:02,200 --> 00:20:03,960 Yes! What a man! 475 00:20:06,280 --> 00:20:08,120 THUNDER RUMBLES 476 00:20:09,800 --> 00:20:11,400 HE WHEEZES 477 00:20:12,960 --> 00:20:14,240 Ade? 478 00:20:14,240 --> 00:20:15,720 How many more, Nesh? 479 00:20:15,720 --> 00:20:18,280 Just one more round, Ade-mondo. Just one more round. 480 00:20:18,280 --> 00:20:20,480 - No, no, no. No... - Yeah, yeah... 481 00:20:20,480 --> 00:20:22,320 Come on! 482 00:20:22,320 --> 00:20:24,560 HE STRAINS 483 00:20:22,320 --> 00:20:24,560 - There we go. - Ugh... 484 00:20:26,360 --> 00:20:27,920 Yes, that's it. 485 00:20:27,920 --> 00:20:30,520 No, no, no, no, no. 486 00:20:30,520 --> 00:20:32,240 I'm not a Tough Man, Nesh. 487 00:20:32,240 --> 00:20:35,760 Hey! Hey! You're the toughest bloody bastard I know, Ade. 488 00:20:35,760 --> 00:20:38,280 You can do this. Just like we practised. 489 00:20:38,280 --> 00:20:40,600 You can do it. Deep breaths. You can do it. 490 00:20:40,600 --> 00:20:42,520 ADE PUFFS 491 00:20:40,600 --> 00:20:42,520 Yeah... 492 00:20:42,520 --> 00:20:44,200 Yeah, yeah, that's it. 493 00:20:44,200 --> 00:20:45,840 THAT'S it! Come on! 494 00:20:45,840 --> 00:20:47,360 Feel that energy. 495 00:20:47,360 --> 00:20:49,120 There we go! 496 00:20:49,120 --> 00:20:51,560 Over here, Ade! Just here, just here. 497 00:20:51,560 --> 00:20:53,320 There we go. Steady... 498 00:20:53,320 --> 00:20:54,880 Mask on first, Ade. 499 00:20:54,880 --> 00:20:55,920 Rules are rules. 500 00:20:57,400 --> 00:20:59,880 - LEE: - You can do it, Mr MacArthur! - Come on, Dad! 501 00:20:59,880 --> 00:21:01,640 Close enough. Skipping rope. 502 00:21:01,640 --> 00:21:03,640 Knees up! Knees up! 503 00:21:03,640 --> 00:21:05,680 You're only eight hours behind schedule. 504 00:21:05,680 --> 00:21:07,640 - Incredible! Here we go. - BO: - Come on! 505 00:21:07,640 --> 00:21:09,800 - Yes, Dad! - Perfect! 506 00:21:09,800 --> 00:21:11,240 Golden ring! 507 00:21:11,240 --> 00:21:12,760 - On the dolphin! - What dolphin? 508 00:21:12,760 --> 00:21:15,000 - On the dolphin, Ade! - What dolphin, Nesh?! 509 00:21:15,000 --> 00:21:17,000 On the dolphin, Ade! On the dolphin, Ade! 510 00:21:17,000 --> 00:21:18,880 Yes, come on! 511 00:21:18,880 --> 00:21:20,400 THEY CHEER 512 00:21:20,400 --> 00:21:23,040 Almost at that bloody finish line! 513 00:21:23,040 --> 00:21:24,880 Here we go! 514 00:21:24,880 --> 00:21:28,120 You're there! You're there, Ade! You're there! 515 00:21:28,120 --> 00:21:30,960 THEY LAUGH 516 00:21:30,960 --> 00:21:34,120 THEY CHEER 517 00:21:34,120 --> 00:21:37,000 YOU'RE A SUPERGRAN-DADDY! 518 00:21:37,000 --> 00:21:41,960 - Ohhh! Oh, my back! - Eh? - Son of a bitch, my back... 519 00:21:41,960 --> 00:21:45,840 Oh! Oh, that is... that is bad luck. 520 00:21:45,840 --> 00:21:47,040 I love your family. 521 00:21:49,000 --> 00:21:52,440 Do you know who I love? That Dave Chapelle Roan. 522 00:21:52,440 --> 00:21:55,960 # I'm dancing at the pink horsey club, whoo! 523 00:21:55,960 --> 00:21:58,360 # I'm dancing at the pink horsey club. # 524 00:21:58,360 --> 00:22:00,360 Those are two separate people. 525 00:22:00,360 --> 00:22:02,160 Dave Chapelle and Chapell Roan. 526 00:22:02,160 --> 00:22:03,440 It's not quite right, Mum. 527 00:22:03,440 --> 00:22:06,200 Let your mother have her fun. She's young, she's hip - 528 00:22:06,200 --> 00:22:08,600 she knows all the Brat Summers and the bisexuals. 529 00:22:08,600 --> 00:22:10,960 - Thank you, my virile young husband. - Aw. 530 00:22:10,960 --> 00:22:12,560 So, um, Bo, are... 531 00:22:13,520 --> 00:22:16,320 ..are you feeling prepared for, um...the baby? 532 00:22:16,320 --> 00:22:17,880 Well, I was worried I wouldn't cope. 533 00:22:17,880 --> 00:22:21,800 But these three made me realise maybe I am cut out for this, 534 00:22:21,800 --> 00:22:24,240 cos there can be nothing harder than wrangling this pissed-up trio. 535 00:22:24,240 --> 00:22:25,520 THEY CHUCKLE 536 00:22:25,520 --> 00:22:26,960 It was very impressive. 537 00:22:26,960 --> 00:22:28,920 They all kept trying to jump out the car, 538 00:22:28,920 --> 00:22:31,560 but Bo kept his cool, got us all home safe. 539 00:22:31,560 --> 00:22:32,600 Impressive indeed. 540 00:22:32,600 --> 00:22:34,520 If it wasn't for the kebab sauce smeared on the windows 541 00:22:34,520 --> 00:22:36,960 and this one sending dirty emails to you and the American, 542 00:22:36,960 --> 00:22:38,560 it would've been a clean sheet. 543 00:22:43,360 --> 00:22:44,600 Oh, yeah, fuck! 544 00:22:45,760 --> 00:22:47,320 I... Um... 545 00:22:49,880 --> 00:22:52,160 Oh, the tatties are massive, ain't they? 546 00:22:52,160 --> 00:22:53,760 Oh, do you want a pickle? 547 00:22:57,440 --> 00:22:59,400 HE SPLUTTERS 548 00:22:57,440 --> 00:22:59,400 Oh, shit... 549 00:22:59,400 --> 00:23:01,560 - MOUTH FULL: - Oh, my God, this is so good. But... 550 00:23:01,560 --> 00:23:02,880 HE COUGHS 551 00:23:02,880 --> 00:23:05,680 I'm, um...I just realised I've got...I've got something on. 552 00:23:05,680 --> 00:23:09,280 I've got to go, I've got this thing on that... 553 00:23:09,280 --> 00:23:13,200 This-this has been, um...delicious, and, well...well done again but... 554 00:23:13,200 --> 00:23:16,880 So much fun. Thank you so much for having me, but, um...bye! 555 00:23:18,840 --> 00:23:21,080 Bo, what is wrong with you? 556 00:23:18,840 --> 00:23:21,080 THEY ALL SHOUT AT ONCE 557 00:23:21,080 --> 00:23:22,240 Honestly just the w... 558 00:23:23,600 --> 00:23:25,480 I just...forgot my coat. 559 00:23:28,040 --> 00:23:30,120 - Oh! - I'm sorry, sorry. 560 00:23:28,040 --> 00:23:30,120 CHAIR CLATTERS 561 00:23:38,040 --> 00:23:39,360 SHE SNIFFLES 562 00:23:39,360 --> 00:23:40,640 Don't talk to me. 563 00:23:43,160 --> 00:23:45,200 - Agh! - EVIE: - Idiot! 564 00:23:49,560 --> 00:23:51,680 SHE SNIFFS AND BREATHES SHAKILY 565 00:23:54,160 --> 00:23:55,400 Lee... 566 00:24:10,880 --> 00:24:12,080 Lee? 567 00:24:14,120 --> 00:24:15,520 Hello. 568 00:24:15,520 --> 00:24:16,880 Hi. 569 00:24:16,880 --> 00:24:20,200 I know you're avoiding me, so I-I drank office coffee 570 00:24:20,200 --> 00:24:23,600 in respect of your avoidance, but I just wanted to... 571 00:24:23,600 --> 00:24:24,880 I read it. 572 00:24:26,840 --> 00:24:28,400 Oh... 573 00:24:28,400 --> 00:24:29,920 I thought you deleted it? 574 00:24:29,920 --> 00:24:32,480 I did, but it was in the deleted folder, 575 00:24:32,480 --> 00:24:35,440 and I assume he's read it, so... 576 00:24:35,440 --> 00:24:38,360 I just misinterpreted something Evie said when I was drunk, 577 00:24:38,360 --> 00:24:40,400 and-and-and it was an experiment 578 00:24:40,400 --> 00:24:42,160 and I was trying to work something out. 579 00:24:42,160 --> 00:24:45,600 By sending screeds of porn to me and your work friend? 580 00:24:45,600 --> 00:24:46,840 It wasn't porn. 581 00:24:46,840 --> 00:24:48,400 And-and you said I was just your friend, 582 00:24:48,400 --> 00:24:50,600 - so I don't see what the problem is. - You know there's a difference. 583 00:24:50,600 --> 00:24:52,560 No, I don't know there's a difference. 584 00:24:52,560 --> 00:24:55,320 You said you wanted to meet me in Knutsford, so I came to Knutsford 585 00:24:55,320 --> 00:24:56,680 and then you didn't show up. 586 00:24:56,680 --> 00:24:59,400 And then you told Claudette that I was just your friend. 587 00:24:59,400 --> 00:25:02,600 And then you get all jealous of Clay when... 588 00:25:04,160 --> 00:25:06,880 ..we're not anything. We've been on one date. 589 00:25:06,880 --> 00:25:09,000 I don't even know if you actually like me. 590 00:25:09,000 --> 00:25:11,840 So you're keeping your options open? Is-is that was this is? 591 00:25:11,840 --> 00:25:13,400 Sending me weird... 592 00:25:13,400 --> 00:25:14,960 Don't call me weird. 593 00:25:14,960 --> 00:25:18,560 I'm not calling you weird. I'm saying what you DID was weird. 594 00:25:18,560 --> 00:25:23,200 Nina, you sent two men a 160,000-word PDF of Victorian smut - 595 00:25:23,200 --> 00:25:24,600 it's hardly normal. 596 00:25:24,600 --> 00:25:27,320 - Well, I'm sorry I'm not normal. - Oh, great. - Sorry I'm not perfect. 597 00:25:27,320 --> 00:25:30,720 I made a mistake and don't act like being sent my creative writing 598 00:25:30,720 --> 00:25:33,200 is something special. Half my family have read it. 599 00:25:33,200 --> 00:25:35,760 Oh, oh! Oh, that's...that's great, Nina! 600 00:25:35,760 --> 00:25:38,000 That makes me... That makes me feel much better. 601 00:25:38,000 --> 00:25:40,280 So, what, they were all just laughing at me the other night? 602 00:25:40,280 --> 00:25:41,640 Nobody was laughing at you. 603 00:25:41,640 --> 00:25:43,920 You know, I could have other options too. 604 00:25:43,920 --> 00:25:47,120 Just because you're so cool with your degree... 605 00:25:47,120 --> 00:25:49,000 - Degrees. - Degrees! 606 00:25:49,000 --> 00:25:51,760 And your...funny one-lines 607 00:25:51,760 --> 00:25:54,320 and your-your-your interesting takes on... 608 00:25:55,680 --> 00:25:56,800 ..life... 609 00:26:00,560 --> 00:26:01,600 It's too difficult. 610 00:26:02,600 --> 00:26:06,200 Difficult? This is difficult? 611 00:26:06,200 --> 00:26:09,360 Nothing in this world is easy for me or my brain. 612 00:26:09,360 --> 00:26:10,720 But at least I try. 613 00:26:10,720 --> 00:26:13,840 I put myself out there and, yeah, I did something that was a bit bold, 614 00:26:13,840 --> 00:26:17,640 but at least I don't just stand still, waiting for life to happen! 615 00:26:17,640 --> 00:26:20,040 I make life happen, and that's difficult! 616 00:26:20,040 --> 00:26:23,240 I wasn't standing still, I was waiting for you. 617 00:26:23,240 --> 00:26:25,440 I-I'm not some bone you can stick in the earth 618 00:26:25,440 --> 00:26:27,520 and dig up whenever you feel like it! 619 00:26:27,520 --> 00:26:29,480 - CLAY, APPROACHING: - I know, that's what I said! I know! 620 00:26:29,480 --> 00:26:30,760 CLAY LAUGHS 621 00:26:30,760 --> 00:26:33,520 - All right. Talk to you soon, Mom. Love you. - Great. - Bye. 622 00:26:33,520 --> 00:26:34,680 Perfect timing. 623 00:26:34,680 --> 00:26:37,080 I don't bury bones to dig them up later. 624 00:26:37,080 --> 00:26:39,160 That would be stupid. 625 00:26:39,160 --> 00:26:42,640 And there we have it - you think I'm stupid. 626 00:26:42,640 --> 00:26:45,560 I just draw conclusions from the evidence which I'm presented. 627 00:26:45,560 --> 00:26:47,360 Yeah. So do I, Nina. 628 00:26:48,800 --> 00:26:50,120 Hey, guys. 629 00:26:50,120 --> 00:26:52,320 Hi, Clayton. Did you have fun in Borneo? 630 00:26:52,320 --> 00:26:54,760 Why don't you go have fun with your other option? 631 00:26:57,000 --> 00:26:59,280 Nina...you OK? 632 00:26:59,280 --> 00:27:01,560 I don't like when people call me weird. 633 00:27:04,480 --> 00:27:05,560 Yeah, I know. 634 00:27:06,880 --> 00:27:09,120 I don't know why I did what I did. 635 00:27:09,120 --> 00:27:11,800 Look, you know what? I-I don't care why. 636 00:27:11,800 --> 00:27:14,440 And I'm glad you did. And I'm... 637 00:27:14,440 --> 00:27:15,680 I'm sorry. 638 00:27:17,120 --> 00:27:20,480 You know, I should've deleted it when I saw it was private but... 639 00:27:20,480 --> 00:27:22,920 ..once I started reading, I couldn't stop. 640 00:27:24,520 --> 00:27:26,080 It's very good, Nina. 641 00:27:26,080 --> 00:27:28,400 Scotland. You call me Scotland. 642 00:27:30,400 --> 00:27:31,520 Hey, cheer up. 643 00:27:31,520 --> 00:27:33,640 Come on, tomorrow's a brand-new day and... 644 00:27:34,560 --> 00:27:37,080 ..it's the big fundraiser, and we can dress up 645 00:27:37,080 --> 00:27:39,800 - and be whoever we want to be, huh? - Ha. 646 00:27:39,800 --> 00:27:42,520 Can I be somebody who doesn't send weird emails? 647 00:27:43,720 --> 00:27:46,360 I missed you this last week, while you were avoiding me. 648 00:27:46,360 --> 00:27:47,560 I wasn't avoiding you. 649 00:27:47,560 --> 00:27:49,280 Oh, you're such a bad liar! 650 00:27:49,280 --> 00:27:51,320 - No, I'm not! - Yeah, you are! 651 00:27:51,320 --> 00:27:53,320 Oh, my gosh, did I tell you, the other day, 652 00:27:53,320 --> 00:27:56,480 I saw Harrison Ford rollerblading through the park with two huskies? 653 00:27:56,480 --> 00:27:58,640 - Seriously? - No. 654 00:27:58,640 --> 00:28:00,920 - But that's how you tell a lie. - Oh! - Ha! 655 00:28:05,880 --> 00:28:08,200 # It's a dark day 656 00:28:08,200 --> 00:28:11,280 # But those days need seeing to 657 00:28:11,280 --> 00:28:13,480 # No misbelief 658 00:28:13,480 --> 00:28:14,880 # Listen through 659 00:28:17,640 --> 00:28:20,280 # Honestly now 660 00:28:20,280 --> 00:28:23,120 # Would you look after me 661 00:28:23,120 --> 00:28:26,120 # Keep under lock and key? 662 00:28:26,120 --> 00:28:29,080 # Would you 663 00:28:29,080 --> 00:28:33,320 # Follow the sound of my tears streaming down? # 46071

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