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I'm really sorry...

Yeah, I'm really fucking sorry.

I'll be there in two seconds, I'm literally round the corner.

Andy, none of the orders are done.

No, I know. I forgot, I should've done them last night.

I didn't finish till late, didn't get back till late.

I'll sort it out as soon as I get in, I promise. As soon...

We've already rung round everywhere, we're in the shit.

OK. All right, look, I-I'm literally round the corner now.

- Where are you? - Round the corner.

- Give me two seconds. Ta-ra... - Hurry up, hurry up.

Hi, you've reached Kelly.

Leave me a message and I'll get back to you as soon I can. Bye.

Hello, Kelly. I'm really sorry I missed it. Erm...

...I've just had so much shit on, do you know what I mean?

Tell him I'm devastated, and I'm really, really, sorry.

I can't fucking believe it.

My head was all over the place.

Do you know what I mean? Oh, fuck.

Just tell him I'm so sorry, erm,

and I'll phone him before he goes to bed, yeah?

But please, please tell him I'm really, really fucking sorry.

I-I-I-I-I... I've ju...

I've got so much going on, do you know what I mean?

I've been living out of a suitcase

the past two fucking months. I only moved in last night...

...you know, so... I know it's my fault, but...

Just t-t-tell him I-I'll phone him before he goes to bed, OK?

All right. Sorry, ta-ra. Bye.

- Morning, chef. - Morning, lad.

- Chef's coffee, chef? - Yeah, double, Bill.

- Sorry, Mr Jones? - Yeah.

I'm Alan Lovejoy, I'm the environmental health officer

for Hackney. Are you OK to crack on?

Yeah, just give me a couple of minutes.

All right. As soon as you're ready, please.

- Just going to get changed. - Thank you.

All right, Carly, shall we just finish up?

We can recap a couple of things while we're waiting for him.

- OK. - Erm, we've already said, Toby?

- Tony. - Tony.

Tony, we're going to get this in order before we open, yeah?

- Not tomorrow. - Don't let Andy see you.

Clean this shit up.

- Sorry, did you just... - No, just do it.

Did you just wash your hands in the food preparation sink?

- Yes. - Yeah.

Are you aware we wash our hands in the hand-washing sink?

- She's... - No, I, er...

- She's new. - What's your name?

- Camille. - Camille.

- How long have you been here? - A week or so.

OK, have you been on any food hygiene courses? Accreditation?

Yeah, she's got a Level Two. - Level Two, OK.

Well, if you could show me that before I leave.

- Yeah, absolutely. - Brilliant.

Camille, I'm glad you're washing your hands,

just not where we prepare food, OK?

I'm sure you knew that, though.

- Just sort yourself out, OK? - I know, I know.

All right, so, we'll check them fridges.

And that is...

That's just about regulation.

Which, of course, is...

- Eight degrees. - Eight degrees.

But ideally, like the ones around there,

I'd prefer it to be a bit lower,

in the region of five would be ideal.

But eight degrees is regulation.

- Eight degrees is regulation. - Do we meet regulation?

- You do meet regulation. - Great.

But no, what I'm saying, is if you pack that fridge any more,

the circulation of the air, it's not going to get round

and you're going to waste a load more food,

because it'll go above eight degrees.

So always err on the side of caution, Carly.

Like Mr Lewis said, the other inspector,

"Don't risk it for a biscuit," that's what we try and say.

Sorry, hello? Hello?

All right... Do you want to put the knife down a second?

- Yeah, sorry. - Thank you.

Quick word. Just talk me through what you're doing.

-Well, prepping duck for this evening.

Prepping duck. OK, and how would you do that?

Er, well, do what I'm doing now,

and then we pan fry it and put it in the oven.

What temperature would you cook the duck to?

- 63 degrees. - 63.

- And you check that how? - With a probe.

With a probe. And you do that regularly?

- Every meal. - And you keep checks?

- Yep. - Lovely. Thank you.

Erm, the tiles, you said the structural damage...

Yeah, the contractors are coming tomorrow.

As soon as you take a picture, you can email it to me.

He keeps itching his beard.

- He washes his hands. - As long as he does regularly.

Thank you. You could email me that as soon as you...

-Yep. Erm, Emily. Emily.

This is our head of pastry, Emily,

and this is our commis pastry chef, Jamie.

Jamie, nice to meet you. We actually have...

- I recognise your face. - We have met before.

- Your bakery in Hoxton. - Roly-Polys.

- Roly-Polys, yes! - You remember?

Absolutely. Your banana cake had this dark chocolate.

- Thank you very much. - It's beautiful, isn't it?

- Have you tried it, Jamie? - I love it.

- Out of this world. - How are you?

- I'm not too bad, thank you. - You look really well.

- No, now, please. - I'm not too bad.

- I'm not surprised... - Emily, Emily.

- Yes, darling. - Are you all right?

Yeah, we're fine. Yeah.

I'm surprised this is all in order with you working here.

I've been round a half hour ago, and it's all ticked off.

Jamie, how long have you been here?

Er, about three weeks.

Excuse me, mate. How long is this going to take?

Erm, well, it'll take as long as it takes.

I appreciate that, but we've got to open up.

I know that. We are actually about done, I'm waiting for you.

Can we have a quick word? Alright if we go out there?

- Of course, yeah. - Just you and me, alright?

- Emily... - Lovely to see you.

- Have a lovely Christmas. - And yourself.

Jamie, good to meet you.

All right, chef.

OK, I don't want to keep you any longer than we have to.

Take a seat, thank you.

OK.

So, let's see what we're dealing with here. OK, right.

So, primarily, that's all the information you need to know.

I'm not going to go through it all today,

because we're running a bit behind.

But it's all there. Carly knows it all.

And that's your sticker.

You've gone down from a five to a three, all right?

-I'm going to tell you why.

- That's a big drop, innit? - It is.

It's primarily because of your documentation, OK?

And your record-keeping. And it's quite frankly...

- Wash basin? - Wash basins, the French...

- Camille, French lady. - Yeah.

She's washing her hands in the food preparation sink.

But that's not the main thing I'm concerned about.

The main thing I'm concerned... Could I have your attention?

The main thing I'm concerned about is this.

You've got big gaps here.

Massive gaps where we should be filling in daily.

Taking fridge temperatures. I'm assured they're done every day.

- If we come... - What's with the oysters?

The oysters over there, his section's a mess.

I've just walked past him and he's still not cleaned it up.

He's got no gloves on, cross-contamination, the lot.

I don't need to tell you that.

Oh!

OK, you'll need to replace that knife.

So, what is obvious to me is there's lots of gaps.

Up until two months ago, it's filled in quite regularly.

Now we've got gaps. Look at where it should be filled in.

And the opening and closing checks, who's meant to do them?

Good afternoon...

- Yeah, that's me. - Yourself, yourself.

If you're not able to do it,

someone should come in and you should have that in place

for someone to do. It's basic things, Mr Jones.

And it's going to bring your score down.

Can I have your attention? The sooner we get this done,

I can leave. And the sooner we get this done,

the sooner we can move on

and get you back up to where you should be before this,

which was a five. But your competence in management

has gone right down because of this, all right?

This should be like an idiot's guide.

So if you're off, if Carly's off, for some reason,

anyone could pick this up

and can make this place run smoothly, safely, effectively.

I know it's a pain in the arse,

but it's a necessary pain in the arse.

OK. So, let's leave it there, OK?

So, you can appeal.

I wouldn't advise that, I'd say it'd be a waste of time

in your case.

But at the bottom here is my email, OK? A Lovejoy.

Three months' time, you get in contact with me,

and we'll get you back up to a five,

if you follow this criteria.

All right? But you're going to need to get this in order.

Oh, one last thing. No glass in the kitchen, but you knew that.

All right, have a good Christmas. All the best.

Beth? Beth, could I have a quick word?

...triple that and I'm good.

- Emily! Jamie! - Yes.

Have a look at that.

- What's that say? - Oh, dear.

- It says a three. - Sorry?

- It says a three. - Three? That's fucking massive.

That's a jump and a half, innit?

We were five and now we're a three. He comes round,

has a nose about, and that's it, we're a three?

It's a fucking joke, innit?

How do you wash your hands, love?

- I know, er... - Sorry, what?

- In the sink. - In the sink. Which sink?

- All right, Andy? - Which sink?

- Andy... - No, hang on, Carly.

- Carly, wait a minute, love! - She's new.

Carly, this is fucking basic GCSE fucking cookery...

Yeah, and it's her first week, so it's my responsibility.

It's not her first week in any fucking kitchen, though, is it?

You've worked in kitchens before, haven't you?

- Yes. - That's why you're here.

- You've worked in kitchens? - Yes.

- Yes, what? - Yes, chef.

- So what's that sink for, kid? - Food.

- For what? - Food.

-What don't you do in that sink?

- Wash your hands. - Wash your what?

- Hands. - Wash your hands, yeah.

Fucking gobshite here. You, using the wrong fucking sink.

And you, soft arse, what are you playing at?

Er, what do you mean, chef?

"What do I mean?" What the fuck are you doing?!

I-I'm not... I'm not supposed to be on this section, chef.

Tony, how long have you worked here, lad?

I've been here... But it's Hobbs...

Tony, how long have you worked here, son?

- Year. - A year?

He's saying you've got no fucking gloves on.

Cross-contamination with the oysters.

- Put your fucking gloves on. - Sorry.

Put your gloves on, son. Now, listen, Tony.

You buck your fucking ideas up, lad.

Because there's a million kids out there

who would die for this fucking opportunity

- that you've been given, yeah?! - Yes, chef.

Show some fucking respect. Respect your fucking self.

- Yes, chef. - Pull your fucking socks up.

- Sorry, chef. - Yes.

Right, every single one of you. That goes for all of you.

Right across the board. Sort your own fucking sections out.

-Yeah? Yeah.

All right, we're going to get this back up to a fucking five.

- Yeah? - Yes, chef.

OK. All right, where are we?

Right, erm, we've called in what we could.

But we're still a bit tight on some items.

But I think we've still got a good menu.

So, we are fine on the oysters, the salmon, the liver.

We're a bit low on the soup. We couldn't get beef anywhere.

- OK, I'm sorry about that. - It's all right.

- The beef's off. - No, I'll phone in a minute.

- I'll get on Smiths. - It's too late.

It's fine. We've got mackerel. We've got duck, brill, risotto.

Now, we've got just about enough lamb?

No, we haven't got enough lamb.

We've got enough...

I said I'm sorry, lad, what's your fucking problem?

What's my problem? Andy, it's time and time again.

- Freeman! - You're not doing the orders.

- I can't do my work. - I didn't do them.

- I'm sorry, I apologise. - Whatever.

- Look... - Have I said sorry?

- Have I said sorry? - We've blagged it, it's fine.

- We've got a menu. - Can we leave it?

There's no point crying about it, is there?

We've just got to get on with it.

We've got a good menu, if we pull together, we'll be fine.

- Y es? - Yes, chef.

- No, come on. Are you with me? - Yes, chef!

- Can we just get on with it? - Yes!

- OK, yeah. - Watch it, Freeman.

- OK, let's sort it out. - All right.

- Are you OK? - Yes. No, we're all good.

- Yeah? Sure? OK. - Yep. Yep.

OK, now...

...the other thing...

- We haven't got any turbot. - What do you mean?

He threw it away.

What do you mean he threw it fucking out? Excuse me.

Why did you let him throw it away?!

You know how fucking expensive this stuff is!

Why did you let him throw it away, Carly?

- It wasn't labelled. - What do you mean?

Why wasn't it fucking labelled?!

Andy, you prepped it last night!

All right.

- It's all right. - All right, I'm sorry.

I've had fucking loads going on, I apologise.

It's fine. Come on, look, we need to crack on.

I'll sort that out in a minute.

It's all right. Come on, come on.

- You take five minutes. - I'll go and do the orders now.

Come on, everybody! Let's move our arses.

- Yes, chef. - Let's shift into gear now.

- I'm sorry. - It's all right.

- No, I'm sorry. - Are you all right?

- Have you slept? - Chef!

Yeah, a little bit, a little bit.

OK, look, next time, make sure you call me.

- Chef! - Call me.

OK, I know, I know... All right.

I've just seen him on the way out.

We went from a five to a three-star.

- I know, yeah. - Why?

The kitchen's fine, the food's fine.

- So why? - It's the paperwork.

- Why isn't the paperwork done? - I'm behind on the paperwork.

- Why? - I-I-I jus... Fuck...

- I haven't managed it properly. - It's fucking embarrassing.

- What do you mean? - It's embarrassing.

- Sort it out. - It's only for three months.

We're opening in ten minutes.

Andy, what's that all about?

Just embarrassed being a three. I'll sort it, I'll fix it.

OK, all right. Look, look, look, Andy.

Have you managed to talk to her about the wage increase?

Yeah, I did. I had a chat with her last night.

- Yeah, and? - She's going to get onto it.

- What do you mean? - She's going to sort it.

I told you, that job needs an answer tonight.

- Look, I promise you. - Andy, I need to...

Carly, I promise you, I'll have it sorted by tonight.

- You promise? - Have I ever let you down?

- OK, yeah. I've got... - I... Yeah, OK.

- You OK? I'm sorry about that. - No, no worries.

It's my fault, I shouldn't have shouted at you, OK?

What are you doing, soft lad, eh?

- Give it here, look. - It's not my section, chef.

I know it's not your section, lad, but we're all chipping in.

Look, watch, here.

Look, just get it right, yeah?

Twist it. Nice and gentle, get it underneath.

Like a motorbike, yeah?

- And then, just caress it. - That's it, yeah.

Guys! Staff briefing now.

- Got to make this quick. - What?

- Pop it. Take that over. - We're really behind.

- We need to do it. Come on. - Take that over.

Andy!

- Hello? - Andy, staff briefing, now.

Yeah. Yeah, no, no. I'm really sorry, love.

- I left you a message. - Andy, now!

- Phone down. - I'm just in a meeting.

I'll phone you back as soon as I get a chance.

- Ta-ra. - Come on.

- Where's Robyn? - She's at an audition.

- She's where? - She's on her way.

Yeah, she's on her way. She's got time.

- And where's Jake? - Jake is late.

He's always late, by the way.

We have to do something about it.

OK, mad Friday, it's going to be busy.

We've picked some more covers up today,

so we're looking at about a hundred.

So we've got to turn the tables over,

but obviously not make people feel rushed, yeah?

Good, which we can do.

We've got a proposal in tonight, they'll be sat here.

Table 13. So, yeah, treat them like royalty.

And celebrity chef in, Alexander Skye.

- He'll be sat in the front. - Who?

Alistair. Alistair Skye.

Yeah. Yeah, him. He'll be sat up the front.

Bottle of Château on his table, Billy, yeah?

- Copy that. - Good. Swearing.

- Freeman! - Really loud.

There's no way you can hear me from back there.

You're not out here, I'm out here, and I can hear you.

- So let's just bring it down. - Filthy.

Good. Anything else on the bar that we're low on?

Low on Cointreau, low on Prosecco, low on bitters,

I'll just give them halves for tonight.

OK, so we're low on quite a lot.

Good. Anything else from you guys?

Er, no, just we need to push the veg

and we need to push the fish.

OK. Push veg, push... We need to take a selfie

- for the Instagram. - Hey!

Freeman? Where are you going? Come back.

- Come on. - So, let's smile.

- Come on, you big grouch. - Get squashed in.

- Andrea! - Merry Christmas!

- Merry Christmas! - Freeman!

Did you get the finger in it?

We've got people waiting outside.

Come on! There's 50 from early on, so let's get cracking.

Why didn't you tell me Alistair was coming?

I just told you then.

Why didn't you tell me when you found out?

- They did it online. - We aren't prepped properly.

Why aren't you prepped? You should be prepped.

If I had known, I could've got everything ready.

You should have everything ready, Andy.

But you should've told me. When you find these things out,

you should let me know. That's what you're supposed to do.

- If we have people coming... - I just told you then.

I used to work for him so I need to be prepped.

Good, then he'll like what you do, yeah. It's fine.

Don't worry about it.

Are you ready? I'm going to open the doors now.

Come on, guys.

Here, can you chop those for us?

Hm? Yeah.

I feel like shit, you know? You be all right if I get off?

No... What?

If I get off, will you be all right?

- Andy, no. - I feel awful.

- My fucking head's killing me. - No, no, no, no.

You've just got here, you are not leaving me in the shit.

Right?

This isn't about Alistair, is it?

No, I'll be all right, I'll be fine.

Yeah, of course.

Where are my fucking knives. Where did I my knives yesterday?

Oh, I don't know.

We'll get them in a minute. Look, look.

Don't worry about him. He's a fucking tit off the telly.

You're a better chef than he ever was.

And this is good. Like, him coming here.

It's good, it's an endorsement.

All right.

- Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa. - No, I'm fine.

- Are you OK? - Yes.

OK, look. Erm, if you...

You know, if you feel a bit, like...

If you need a bit of help, just open your mouth, yeah?

This is completely different to what I'm used to.

- I know. - You work so quickly.

- You speak so quickly. - It's the Scouse.

I can't understand your accent.

- I know. - Me, I'm French, but, er...

It's very different.

Look, if you're having trouble, just ask one of us, yeah?

- OK. - Just open your mouth, yeah?

Ask Carly, she'll help you out or if I'm about, I'll help you.

- OK. - How are you doing there, chef?

Er, caressing and finessing, chef.

Sorry, lad. What was that, what did you say?

- Caressing and finessing. - That's it, good lad.

See, just pop it. That's it. Then turn it nicely.

- Do you just turn it? - What do you think?

I don't know.

- Keep an eye on him, please. - Yes.

Hello?

Hey, son.

Yeah.

What, you came first?

Oh, that's great. That's fantastic.

Yeah, that's superb. Well done, lad.

Yeah. No, no, I'm sorry I missed it.

Yeah, I'll call you... I'll call you back in a bit, lad.

Yeah, sorry. Ta-ra.

- Where have you been? - I'm really sorry I'm late.

- I tried to get here on time. - What do you mean?

Hey, guys. Can I have one? Just one!

- Oh! - You're in trouble, you know?

- Robyn! - Yes.

- 40 minutes late. - I'm really sorry I'm late.

- Where have you been? - I tried to get here on time...

I don't want to hear excuses. Go and serve table seven now quickly.

- OK. - Quickly. Off you go.

- How did the audition go? - What audition?

You said she wasn't at an audition.

Evening, guys. So sorry about the delay.

- It's OK, don't worry. - I'm Robyn, I'm your waitress.

Can I get you anything to drink?

Yeah. I'm going to order wine for the table.

Er, can I get a bottle of the Château Marie, please?

- Is that red? - Yes.

- Bottle of white? - Bottle of white?

- Which one? - You know the one I'm after.

- She's got expensive taste. - Rightly so!

Which is the most expensive?

It's this one right at the end, the Sauvignon Blanc.

Yeah, we'll take that bottle of Sauvignon Blanc, please.

Amazing. And I can get some tap water for the table.

Er, no, no. We're not swilling it down with...

You know, I'm paying £200 for a bottle of wine. Er...

- Er... - Do you do bottled water?

- Oh, yeah, sorry. - Bottle of still?

Still? Perfect. Sorry, I'm used to handing out tap water.

- Can I get a cranberry juice? - No, no cranberry juice.

- We're drinking wine tonight. - Dad, my God. He doesn't drink.

He's drinking wine tonight.

OK, so, two bottles of wine and a bottle of still water.

- Yes. - OK, I'll go get that for you,

and then I'll come back to take your food order.

- Thank you. - OK.

- Sorry, what was your name? - Robyn.

Thanks, Robyn.

- Yeah, we'll do it for you. - Drinks for table seven.

- This is the guy. - What guy?

- The engagement guy! - You all know?

- She wasn't here, remember? - Yeah, we had a staff briefing.

- Thank you. - Here? Getting engaged here?

Dream Team, fold those napkins, look busy, do not embarrass me.

Beth is on the warpath, come on.

- Good luck. You'll be fine. - Thank you.

I did try to cover for you, I'm so sorry.

I know. Thank you for doing all you could.

- How did it go? - It was OK.

I think... It's hard to tell.

The casting director was super, like, not giving me anything.

- So, I don't know, we'll see. - When will you find out?

Could be next week or it could be in three months' time.

- Or it could be never. - Never say never.

Maybe I should go to uni like you and get a real job.

Girls, I don't know what the chitchat is about.

That's been sat there for ten minutes.

Andrea, go and take that to table seven.

Robyn, go and straighten up the tables in the front.

Beth, there's a customer right there.

- Dean, standing there... - I told them to fold napkins.

- They're just chatting away. - I told them to fold napkins!

Oh, shit, sorry.

- Something to do tomorrow? - Just a bit of shopping.

Hello. So, I have your Château Marie

and your Sauvignon Blanc.

- Shall we start with the red? - Where's Robyn?

Oh, she had to serve a different table. I'm Andrea.

No worries, yeah.

Go on.

To see something you were going to pre-order,

and it's just, like, that kind of thing.

- We can sort it. - It's not going to be in stock.

- Well, it might be. - Sir.

Yes. On my on time, yeah?

What?

- Nice? - Yeah, it's all right.

Do they not teach you people how to serve wine?

It's a £200 bottle of red wine, that.

Let it breathe a little bit, will you?

White, anyone?

Do you know what? Do us a favour.

Just leave the wine there, I'll sort it out.

Sure. Just let me know if you need anything.

Yeah, we will.

- Thank you. - There you go.

- Wine list for you? - Yes, and the cocktail menu.

- Sure. - Thank you.

How's Nate?

He's good, yeah. Yeah, really good.

- He came first in the swimming. - Did he?

- Yeah. - Ah, he's a good lad.

How is he, erm...

How is he coping?

He's doing all right, yeah.

Oh, listen. Look, I've been trying to get hold of...

...Kelly. I don't know if she's blanking me, or what.

But I have no idea what to get him for Christmas.

Get him a PlayStation game.

- PlayStation? - Yeah.

I thought you weren't allowed a PlayStation.

Not at Kelly's house.

But he can have one at my place, can't he?

- What, you got the flat? - Yeah.

- I moved in last night. - Good. That is good.

That's why I was all over the fucking place, sorry.

At least you won't be sleeping on the office floor any more.

- Eh? - Thanks for covering.

No...

Just call me next time, please, yeah?

If you call me, I can help you.

If you don't call me, I can't help you.

- No, I know, I know. - Chef?

- Yeah? - Er, the apple?

Yeah?

How do you want it for the salad?

Er, top and bottom. Chop the top and bottom off. That's it.

Yeah. OK, and then slice it down.

- You got enough oysters there? - No, I ran out now.

OK, so what do you do when you run out?

- Yes, chef. - What do you do?

- Get some more. - Sorry, what do you do?

- Get some more, chef. - Yeah, go on. That's it.

Good lad, good lad.

Right, chop it again. OK.

- And then, just... - It's a bit thick, no?

Yeah. And again.

- You know what to do now, yeah? - Julienne.

- Chef? - Julienne. Your French.

- You should know that one. - Chef?

- Oui? - Yeah, that's good.

- Chef. - Chef!

I think the little girl needs some help.

He thought he found a pube until he pissed out of it.

You're just jealous you're not getting any, moany prick.

Hey, you two, pack it in.

Hey, you! Sleeves.

The state of them.

What's going on?

- What's all this? - Oh, come on, Andy!

I mean, what's all these?

I'm working for two people here.

- What do you mean? - Look at the state of it.

What, what do you mean?!

Jake's supposed to be here, that's why.

Exactly, I don't have the power of multiplication

- suddenly for you! - All right.

I'm a really top worker, but suddenly...

I know, I know. You're doing great, just take your time.

I'm doing great, but I need some help, you know?

All right, just take your time, love, yeah?

Just take your time.

All right, there's no need for that, is there?

- Chef, this is lemon curd. - OK.

What do you think?

A bit tart.

- He can change that. - Needs a little bit of balance.

- Yep, all right. - You need to find something.

- Thank you. - Mix something else into it.

That's my fault. All right, thank you.

Bring it here, darling, let me have a look.

- What are you going to do? - Add a little bit...

You're going to get in a right mess

if you don't start to... What are you doing?

- Come here. - I'm fine, please.

Put that down for a second.

OK. Look at me. We are not going to do this now, OK?

- I-I promise you I won't... - Shush, I know.

We'll talk about it, we're just not going to do it now,

because there's too many people around.

We'll do it together, just me and you.

- Please. - Will you be OK just now?

- I'm OK. - Just do a big breath for me.

Let's do it together, because I need to as well.

- OK? Good. - Thank you.

Come on, then. Let me have a taste.

- Thank you. - You're welcome.

- Oh, oh! That is gorgeous! - Really?

Ooh, it's got just the right bit of sharpness.

That is perfect, darling, well done.

- Maria! - What's wrong with you?!

- Where the fuck you been?! - What?

- Are you... Are you mad? - No.

You are two hours late! You are two hours late!

- My alarm didn't go off. - No. Don't come with this shit!

You are two hours late and I have to do this alone!

Where have you been? She's working on her own here.

I was here at nine, 30 minutes ago.

- He wasn't... - Two hours ago!

Fucking... Where's the watch, lad? Pick your timing up.

Poor woman's grafting away here on her own.

-Relax, relax.

Are you guys having a great time?

- You're having fun! - No, no, no.

You don't fucking care that I'm pregnant, right?

- No, no, no. - Relax, relax.

No, don't even touch me! No, no, Andy, sorry!

Look, he's here now. You go and take a little break, go on.

- Go and take a little break. - Do some bloody work!

I want to, but I don't want to come back and find that...

OK. You do some fucking graft. Go and have a little break.

- Let me taste that. - You're such a lazy bugger.

- What's Sophia been doing? - Just get yourself working.

Bloody hell.

What do you think?

A-ha, ha, ha! That's exactly what I wanted to do.

- Isn't it gorgeous? - That's lovely, yeah.

- Thank you, chef. - He's got it, hasn't he?

That's delicious. You've got talent, son.

Yeah, that's really nice.

Yeah, you're going places.

But you're staying here right now. No, no.

I knew he'd go back in and have another!

- Beautiful. - Thank you.

Oi, you. Get them fucking bins done soon, yeah? Sharpish.

Sort the bins out. Let me know when they're done.

- Andy, where have you been? - In the back helping them.

Someone was asking about the menu and I can't find you.

I was in the back fixing the desserts.

In the back? It's full in the restaurant,

- I need to be able to find you. - I'm busy, aren't I?

We're busy in the front.

- Someone asked about the menu. - I can't be out here

- and there at the same time. - I need to be able to find you.

I was just helping out.

No, come here. Did you...

Did you have a word with your dad?

I asked you to have a word with your dad yesterday about Carly.

- I don't have time for this. - Raising her wages?

It's not the time to talk about this.

Excuse me. Is it possible to get the wine menu?

Yeah, I'll get the drinks menu for you now.

- Dean, what's your job? - Your what?

- What's your job? - I'm your sexy supervisor.

Great. So why is table 14 asking me for a drinks menu?

It's not my job.

Heads down, arse up, do what you're told.

I hear you, I'm on it. Thank you.

- Hi. How are you? - Hi.

- I'm all right, how are you? - Good, thank you.

- Sorry I'm a little late. - Don't worry.

- Have you got a table booked? - My boyfriend, Frank Higgins.

- You must be Mary. - Yes, how did you know?

- Well, we know everything. - Oh, my God.

- How has your day been? - Oh, it's been long.

- But it's a Friday. - Yeah, now you can relax.

- Have a drink. - I love your headband.

- Oh, thank you. - It's lovely.

- Nice and sparkly. - Yeah, weekend.

- Here he is. - Thank you. Oh, hi, babe.

- You OK? - I'm OK. How are you?

I'm OK. Was work OK?

- Oh, long. - Can I get you a drink?

- I'd love an Old Fashioned. - Two.

- Two Old Fashioneds coming up. - Also, erm...

I sent an email about her allergies. Did you get it?

Yes, but just remind me, just in case.

- I'm allergic to nuts. - Nuts. So all nuts?

- Mm-hm. - Yeah.

I'll pass that on to the kitchen.

- Thank you. OK? - Oh, my God, I just...

Right, has table 14 got their drinks?

- Pouring them as we speak. - Can you just speed it up?

- Ssh, ssh, ssh. - No, Billy, not helpful. Stop.

OK. Andrea?

Can you take that to table... Oh...

...take that to the kitchen.

It's the allergies for table 13.

- Yep? - Got you.

- Everything good? - Not really.

-Table seven are a nightmare.

- Really? - I'll talk about it later.

- It's fine. - OK.

I have a nut allergy for table 13.

- Beth wanted me to pass it on. - Why's it not on the system?

I... I don't... I don't know.

It needs to be on the system. All right. Service!

- Beth told me to pass it on. - What table?

- 13. - OK. No nuts on table 13.

Just put it on the system next time, yeah?

Yep, I'll do that.

Fuck. Look at this shit.

All right. Someone's forgotten to change the till roll again.

OK. Order in.

- One crab, one stir. - Yep, yep, yep.

Another followed by one risotto, one duck, one brill.

- Oui. - Oui, chef.

- Crack on that crab, Tony. - Yes, chef.

They don't know what the fuck they're doing out there.

- Oh, shit. - Are you OK?

No, look at all these tables I'm doing.

OK, OK, OK, don't worry.

Right, give me two minutes, yeah? Give me two minutes.

No, Andy. No, no, no.

- I'll be straight back. - Andy!

- Andy, we're going down. - Two minutes.

- Andy, I need you... Oh. - Help out, Freeman, lad.

- How long on the duck? - About a minute.

- A minute? - Yeah.

Carly, if she needs you, love, give her a hand, yeah?

- Hey, Andy. - Hello, mate.

Namaste, chef, namaste.

- Good to see you, mate. - Nice to see you.

This is critic, Sara Southworth, as you know.

- Hi. Really nice to meet you. - Lovely to meet you.

Come and have a quick glass with us, yeah?

Just a quickie.

I should really get back to the kitchen, we're snowed under.

- Just a quick one. - Let them do their thing.

- Have a glass of wine. - It's gorgeous.

- It's lovely. - Thank you very much.

- There you go. - No, there's your glass.

- Thank you. Cheers. - Cheers. Here's to you.

- Happy Christmas. - Happy Christmas.

- Oh, that's nice. - It is good.

I had no idea you were coming.

Well, it was a last-minute thing, you know?

This one mentioned that he was coming,

and I've been wanting to come here. Pre-Christmas treat.

You're not here in a work capacity, are you?

- I know that look. - The fear, the fear!

- No, no. Off duty, off duty. - OK.

If I'd known you were coming, I would've made sure.

We're the good guys, the good guys.

When did you book?

The book is coming in...

What is it? Er, February... February 23rd, 24th.

No, no. Not... When did you book?

When did you book to come here?

Sorry. We booked two days ago, but I phoned you

and texted you and you didn't get back, but...

It's cool, it's fine. Listen, we're here to support you.

Yes, and you know, just...

You don't need my endorsement, so don't worry about that.

- Have a look at the menu. - Such a buzz in this place.

Yeah, no, it's, you know... It's busy tonight, very busy.

I'm busy. Super busy with the TV stuff and everything.

- It's gone mental. But... - Has it?

Yeah, it's been amazing. I mean, the show's rocketing.

Yeah, I saw one episode.

You're not the only one who saw one episode.

Seven million people watched it, so, you know, full series.

Must be doing something right.

- Yeah, no... - This menu is, is, is...

I recognise all of this stuff.

This is... This is all my dishes.

I mean, I love the way it's on a bit of paper, but...

- There's the duck with the soy. - Yeah, that was my dish.

- Huh? - That was my dish.

Well, you've added the red chicory,

so that's different.

He's making out like it's his first time seeing this,

but he was poring over the menu in his car and his phone.

Mate, you don't go and see Chelsea

without a look at the team sheet, do you?

So you don't go and see a chef's restaurant

without a look at the menu.

What about picking the menu apart?

No, no, mate, it's amazing. You've got... There's the...

You've got all the classics. You've got the crab, which...

-...which... - Sounds nice.

You definitely, definitely added to that crab at ours.

It was amazing what you did to that.

The crab was my idea, though, do you know what I mean?

- It's been around a while. - But it was my idea.

- You two! - You changed it,

do you know what I mean?

Come on, mate, we're not here to criticize.

- I fucking hope not. - He's just a bit jealous.

Mate, I am jealous. I'll tell you the honest truth.

This place is amazing and I am jealous.

- Thank you. - We're here to eat your food

and support you, chef.

- No, I best get back to work. - Stop doing that.

- Yes. - Please order what you want.

I'll take care of it personally.

- Thank you. - Really lovely to meet you.

Lovely to meet you, it's our pleasure.

It's a pleasure having you here, thank you.

- See you in a bit. - Good luck.

Chef, Passionate was where we had the crab.

Yeah, yeah, of course it was,

because that's where I went to work after I left you.

Yeah, that's why I took it with me.

Excuse me, mate. Excuse me. She's got a question for you.

- Is that Alistair Skye? - Yeah, it is, yeah.

You see, told you.

No...

- Have a nice evening. - Thank you.

- Enjoy your drinks. - See?

Service. Order on.

One risotto, one duck, one mackerel.

- I don't believe that. - What?

He's brought that fucking Sara thingy with him.

The food critic. Fucking, Sara thingy.

- Sara Southworth? - Yes!

- You're joking. - No, I'm serious.

- She's the fucking worst. - Fucking dick move.

- Good luck. - I told you.

I told you. I told you, see?

We're being reviewed on table four. I need you to switch on.

I need you to soigne everything on table four.

- Yes, chef. - Great.

Right, OK, he wants to play those games?

- We can play those games. - OK.

All right. It is fine. All right?

Yeah. What's going on, what have we got?

OK, two lamb. Starters gone on table two.

Mains away on table twenty, table five to work in.

OK.

Yes, yes, yes, yes. OK.

- How long on table five? - About 90 seconds.

Tony, come and give me a push, mate.

- Yeah. - Yeah?

Do you want me to...

- How are you getting on, bro? - Good.

Ah, fuck! Tony, keep turning, keep turning, keep turning.

Camille, how long on that garnish?

- Er, 20 seconds. - Make that ten, yeah?

Camille?

- It's good to go. - How long on the duck?

It's coming, it's coming, it's coming...

Plate, love. Thank you.

Don't keep looking at it. Turn, turn, turn, turn, turn!

Thank you.

- I need the duck sauce, please. - OK, yeah.

- Yeah? - Sure.

Argh! Fucking hell!

- Shit! - Chef, are you all right?

It's all right. Clean that up, please, Tony, lad.

- Yes, chef. - Fucking hell.

It's my own fault.

OK, can you get a new sauce as soon as possible?

Chef! A word?

- What did I say about swearing? - I just burnt my hand!

I just said it in the meeting. Just said it!

- I just burnt my fucking hand! - Chef?

- We're full in the restaurant. - Chef?

You're swearing really loudly, just bring it down.

How fucking else are you supposed to swear?

- Swear quietly. - You can't swear qu... What?!

- Is it OK to take the bins out? - Yes! Yeah, do the bins.

Yeah, right, the bins.

Get the bins done. Hurry up, lad.

You need to get it sorted.

- Ho, ho, motherfucker! - You all right?

- How's work? - Stress. Stressy bee.

- Sorry, what were you saying? - You weren't even listening.

- No, no, I was listening! - You weren't even listening!

What did you want, Henry, wasn't it?

- Yes, yeah, yeah. Henry's sick. - Eighth, yeah?

There you are, I put a bit extra in there.

Are you paying for this one?

Er, yeah, nah. Tick?

That's, like, the fourth one now. You're taking the piss.

It's OK, Holly. Relax, it's OK.

- What are you doing tonight? - Just go and see Kayleigh mate.

Go to the drive-through and that, because I'm a bit hungry.

- What time do you finish here? - Er, 12?

- 12, yeah? - I2, yeah.

We'll still be about, I'll come and pick you up.

- Yeah, man. - And tomorrow?

Yeah. Well, go on. Fuck off, then.

- Fuck you, bitch. - Did you just call me a bitch?

- No. What? - Yes, you did.

- Get out my car. Shut the door! - Piss off.

Shut up. Your car looks like shit!

Don't kick the door, you prick!

Chef! Chef, I've done your bins.

- Good lad. Nice one, thank you. - Service on table 20.

- Here's your meals. - Thank you.

No problem. Is there anything else we can get for you?

- No, I think that's it. - Sure?

Yeah.

- It's been good. - Excuse me, sweetie pie.

- Can I have a chat with you? - Sure.

To be honest, like, pumpkin risotto...

This menu's not really for us.

I don't really understand anything that's on here.

Can we just get steak and chips?

We don't have any steak, unfortunately.

- You don't have steak? - Steak tartare.

You must have steak, you're a restaurant.

Have you got Instagram? I've got 30,000 followers.

So I think it's good for me, it's good for you,

- it's good for the business. - Steak tartare!

Can you not record me, please?

Maybe just have a word your manager?

- I'll go and get the manager. - Get the manager, please.

Thank you. I can't stand when waitresses don't smile.

Do me a favour. Check that bird, right?

- She... - Oh, no...

- Hey, gents. How are we? - Good, you?

- Hi, darling. All right? - Good, thank you.

My waitress just said you're Instagram influencers.

- That's right. - Actually, I was on TV.

- Here we go, steak... - Oh, what show were you in?

Reality telly. I was on Text My Ex.

- I used to watch that. - He came third.

- Second, actually. - Oh, my God.

She was a bit moody, we just want steak and chips.

Oh, I do apologise. Yeah, sure, we can do that.

- We'll put loads of photos up. - That'd be great.

And maybe follow us on Instagram?

- Yeah, not a problem. - Great.

How would you like your steaks cooked?

- Er, medium rare. - Medium rare, and for you?

- Er, medium rare. - Medium rare, and you?

Just cremated for me, please, love.

- Cremated? - Well, well, well, well done.

Really well done.

And can I get you a complimentary round of drinks?

A couple of beers, a bottle of red to go with the steak.

Take some pictures, stuff like that.

Sure, that'd be amazing. Coming up, no problem.

Thank you. Grab yourself a glass as well.

- Yeah, come and join us. - See you later!

Do you think so? That's exactly what I thought.

- Lemon Drop for you, pal, yeah? - And a whiskey sours.

- A whiskey sours. - Wait, what did you just say?

- A whiskey sours. - No, what accent is that?

Glasgow. Oh, I'm sorry, ladies.

A whiskey sours.

- Oh, my God! - Yes!

Good. He's good!

What about you, what do you want?

I normally have a Long Island Iced Tea.

But I just think, like, in this dress...

That dress, to me, is screaming a Woo Woo.

- I'm sorry, a what? - A Woo Woo. Woo woo!

Oh, my God! Yes!

You'll love it. It's tasty, it's tasty.

- Tasty, like you. - Are you going out tonight?

- Yes. - Right, listen.

- I'm a DJ. - Are you?

Aye, uh-huh. Moonlighting as a waiter, obviously.

- Obviously. - At the Dalston Superstore.

Do you know it? Dalston, just round the corner.

- That's a gay bar, right? - Yeah, yeah.

My husband's on the door, I can get you on the list.

- You up for it? - That'd be great.

You're my favourite table, so I'll get you some shots.

- Yes! - OK.

Jäger bombs? Jägermeister, do you like that?

- What's Jäger? - Jägermeister.

It's Jägermeister with Red Bull.

- Oh, like the brown stuff? - Yeah, yeah.

- Oh, that cough syrup stuff. - Oh, no, no!

- I'm allergic. - She can't have that.

- Six tequilas? - Yes!

Love it. I need to get back to work,

because you're absolutely getting me in trouble.

Hey, you! That's not on the menu. Give me that!

Fuck's sake.

Oh! I love my job, I love my job, I love my job.

- She fucking pulled my pinny. - Well, that's offensive.

- You get to see us every day. - Shut up. It is offensive.

- It is offensive. - Billy, can I get a coffee?

A really strong one, thank you.

You want something special in there?

Aye!

Hey allow it man!

We don't have steak on the menu.

- I know, can't you just do it? - No!

We're too busy to go off course. Look how busy we are.

- You've not even... - What's up?

She wants steak, I told her we don't have steak on the menu.

Why are you out the back again?

- We need three steaks. - She's not listening.

- I keep telling her. - But you have beef, don't you?

But it's rolled for tomorrow.

So just slice three steaks off that, it's not hard.

Camille, do me a favour, love. Chop some spuds.

- Let's make some chips. - Spuds?

- Andy. - No, it's all right.

- Emily, come help here. - Chips, like fritters.

Tony, get back to your own shit.

- Help her chop some chips. - I do not believe this.

It's all right, don't worry about it.

- Fuck's sake, Andy. - Why do you give in to her?

What do you mean, give into her?

- Why? - Fuck off, I'll do it myself!

Andy, don't forget to phone your Nabs.

OK.

Close that door!

Right, cut me three off that.

Yes, chef.

You good?

Alistair's table.

- OK, erm... - What do you want to do?

Right, you do the starters.

- I'll do his mains, yeah? - All right.

Call it.

Two covers, two crab, two duck.

- Oui. - Yes, chef.

- OK, Tony. - Yeah?

I need you to make sure those starters don't go out

before I've checked them, all right?

Yes, chef.

Er, trois?

- Tony? - Yeah.

What are you doing?

How many times have you been told about this?

Jake is supposed to be clearing this out.

- What do you mean? - He's supposed to be clearing.

- I don't know where he is. - For fuck's sake.

Move, Freeman!

- What are you talking about? - What the fuck are you doing?

Quick, get out there now. Fuck's sake.

- Come on! - Carly, you've got to fire him.

- I know, Sophia, I know. - It's not enough to tell him.

- Still wanking, yeah? - Ah, wanking, funny.

- You all right? - Yes, you all right?

- Bless, yeah? - Bless, yeah?

- Take these and stop wanking. - Wanking over your mother.

- Wanking over my mum, yeah? - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!

Idiot, bro. Come on, leave her. Come on.

You are useless, but I love you.

I love you too.

- What's the score? - Er, 2-1.

- 2-1? - Yeah.

- That's good to go. - How is he still working here?

What do you mean?

I just caught him out there watching football on his phone.

Tony is drowning in trays over there.

- I'll have a word. - You need to do more than that.

All right, I'll dock his fucking wages.

- Yeah, you keep saying that. - Chef, how's this?

Yes, they look brilliant.

- All right? - Yes, yes, yes.

Well done, keep that up. They look fantastic.

Thank you, chef.

- Chef? - Service on table four.

- Chef? - Yeah?

Table seven said the lamb is undercooked.

What?

They want it to be cooked again.

No, that's fine. It's pink, it's supposed to be pink.

I did try and explain that to them.

- Did you? - What's the problem?

- I did. - What's the problem?

- What table? - Seven.

They didn't ask for it well done.

That's lamb, darling. That's how it's supposed to be.

- It's supposed to be pink. - Yes, I did explain it to them.

- They didn't listen to me. - OK.

- What table is it? - Seven.

- Let me go and... - Whoa, whoa!

- No! - Leave it, leave it.

Just fry the shit out of it, grill the arse out of it.

- That's how it's cooked! - Turn it into fucking charcoal.

Lower your voice.

- Just explain next time. - Yes, yes, I will.

Fuck's sake.

Why was that plate sent back?

- It's fine, it's sorted. - What's the problem?

- There is no problem. - Why was it sent back?

I'm asking you what the problem was.

- They said it was too pink. - The customer wasn't happy,

- that's what the problem was? - No, the problem wasn't that.

The problem is your staff isn't explaining how we do...

It is that.

They've sent it back because they're not happy.

- It's quite simple. - The lamb is supposed to be pink.

Do you understand that the lamb is supposed to be pink?

- It's not my staffs' issue. - Do you understand...

- The customer's always right. - Do you understand...

-...that the lamb... - I'm saying, the customer's...

Look, look, look. Do you know how the dish is...?

- Girls, girls... - No, no, no!

Do you know how the dish is supposed to be cooked? Do you?

What keeps happening is plates keep getting sent back

because you're not fucking training your staff properly.

- It's not my... - Yes, it is!

We are working our fucking arses off here.

And you... Do you know what, Andy?

I'm just... I am sick to the back teeth

of your fuck ups being blamed on us.

Look how hard everyone's working here.

Look how hard everyone is working to earn you money.

But you keep... You just haven't got a fucking clue.

We're run off our arses because you've overbooked.

You're so fucking stupid

you don't even know you've done it, do you?

- OK. - Do you know you've overbooked.

- Carly. - No, no?

And on top of that, she's asking us to go off menu.

To cook fucking steak for some bullshit influencers.

And never put allergies on the system, so I've had to

refer to your scrawny, handwritten note all night.

Do you know how much pressure we're under?

Maybe, maybe, maybe...

OK, maybe, if you spent

half as much time learning how to run a restaurant,

instead of whoring your arse on social media

like a budget fucking Kardashian,

we wouldn't be so much in the shit

that we're in now. You talk to us all

like we're the dirt on the bottom of your fucking shoe.

I'll tell you summat, I've had enough.

I do not fucking like you.

They don't like you, nobody likes you.

And this job is not worth it. I do not get paid enough

to deal with this shit.

I don't get paid enough, do you hear me?

Even with the wage increase, so you better fucking

- drop your attitude... - What wage increase?

- What wage increase? - Girls, girls, come on.

- Lower it now. - What?

- Leave it, it's OK. - What?

It's all right, leave it. Leave it.

She talks to me like that again, she's gone.

OK, listen, listen, listen...

Dad?

Could you...?

Could you call me back when you get this, please?

I don't...

I don't... I don't think I'm meant to be doing this.

I don't really know...

I don't really know what I'm doing and...

No-one... No-one really likes me here.

Can you... Can you just call me back, please?

Are you OK?

Yeah, fine. Why?

We had two walk-ins at front desk.

- OK. - I just wanted to, erm, get...

- Maybe if you let me do my way. - I'll try.

OK.

Hi, guys. Here's the extra bottle. I'll just swap...

- Switch it out? - Switch it out.

Also, can I get, like, a little ramekin dish

- with some za'atar. - Oh, yeah, absolutely.

This is so good, but it just needs a little... You know?

- No worries, I'll get that now. - Thank you.

Za'atar? I mean, you can't turn off the chef for just one night.

Mm, listen, this is great.

It's 98% there.

What's missing?

2%. 2%!

Oh, you're funny.

Andy always needed me to push him to greatness.

Never... Never, ever achieved it on his own.

- But he will. - I'm sure. I mean...

...I like it. Not everything has to have liquid nitrogen,

or rubble of nuts, or, you know...

Here, humor me, OK?

- Just... - We have the same thing.

Just tell me what I'm tasting. Come on.

It's...

- It's unpretentious. - Mm-hm.

It doesn't complicate itself. It's...

-...lovely, it's simple. - It's what?

- It's simple. - Simple.

So we're talking about unpretentious, simple food.

And paper menus.

What are you trying to do here?

Do you want me to...

...give them a bad review, or what?

He's my friend. I don't want you to give him a bad review,

Just be honest about what we're eating.

OK, good. Because I quite like it, and...

You know, reviewing is like sex, you know?

You go by what's there, not by what's not there.

You know.

Just...

...eat your food.

Elvis, you have left the kitchen, so let's just enjoy

- what is here. - Here is the za'atar for you.

Thank you. Now watch.

- Oh, amazing. - Right?

Don't... Don't egg him on.

You don't have to put it on mine.

- It's perfect. - It looks like...

You've got options. You're going to be drinking...

What's he like?

Just really charming and handsome and nice.

- Charming? - Yeah, yeah.

Cool. Maybe he gives you a ride home tonight.

- Yeah, maybe. - Oh, yeah?

- Yeah. I'll ask him. - All right, cool.

- What's Alistair Skye like? - I was just saying that

he's really charming. So much more charming than Billy.

Oh, Billy. You're her one true love, though.

Oh, really? It doesn't seem that way.

Do not say that to him, that's embarrassing.

- What? - I've got the Americans.

Are they going?

No, your going to get ourselves really drunk...

Right, there's your cremated lamb.

Andrea, I wasn't having a go at you,

please just tell them that's not how it should be cooked.

- I'll pass the message on. - Thank you.

Right, what's next?

- Here's your lamb, sir. - What's that?

- It's the lamb that we... - Not that!

- That! - I can take it back...

No, no! Get your dirty fingerprints off my plate!

The kitchen did want me to let you know that,

traditionally, lamb should be cooked pink, but just for you,

- we cooked it extra well done. - I know that.

I hope you enjoy your meal, have a lovely evening, guys.

That's... No manners.

Head-to-toe.

- Are you done with these? - Fabulous.

- I'll get your mains, OK? - Thank you very much.

Chef.

All right, mains away table 13. No nuts.

Oui.

Listen, Carly. I'm just about to speak to table seven

with the lamb, but, erm,

could we maybe get a drink and talk later?

- Yeah. - OK, good.

Chef, we are out of house dressing.

Erm, OK. Erm, we'll just...

You want me just to you something else?

All right, yeah, yeah. Give me a minute.

- OK, what's wrong? - I have to serve these now.

Er...

- What you want me to do? - Is there...

- It's finished. - Make some more.

But I have to take these right now.

- OK, well, just use that, then. - OK.

- Make more of that, though. - Yes.

Use that for now. That'll be all right, no-one will know.

- OK. - Make some more, though.

Make sure you make some more up.

Oh, for fuck's sake! Fuck these things.

- All right? - No, my fucking sauce is...

Whoa, whoa, hold on!

OK, order in. One oysters, one crab, one duck, one mackerel.

- Duck. - No, hold that, take that back.

- Hold on, hold on! - It's going to go over.

- Hold it, just leave it. - Service on table 13!

Service on table 13.

Right. You all right?

- Where's the fucking thing? - All right?

Yeah. It's all right, I'll fix it.

All right, drink up, lovely people!

- OK, guys, here we go. - Yeah.

- Where did she go? - She left me.

- What? - Nah. The toilet.

Give me the signal when it happens.

Don't you worry, mate.

- Hello, my lovely. - Hello.

- How are you? - I'm great.

Yeah? Do you want to go out tonight?

- Yes. - You do?

You don't want to go out with Alistair Skye?

I guess I'll go out with you. Er...

- My place? - Excuse... No.

We're going to go out tonight, do you want to come?

- I'm DJ'ing at the club. - Fuck off you're DJ'ing!

- Which one? - We're going to go.

- The Superstore. - Amazing.

- I'll get you in. - Perfect.

- Are the Americans coming? - Crazy Americans are coming.

- Get them hammered. - Americans...

You're supposed to check 13 is away, hold on.

Hold on. Has 13 gone away?

- Yeah, 13's gone. - Cheers, pal, thank you.

All right.

- Are you good? - Yeah.

How long on the sauce, Andy?

- I can't hold this any longer. - All right, all right.

Good, good. OK, this is all right.

- Yeah? - Yep.

OK, you missed a piece there, yeah?

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, there's two.

- Let's neaten up. - Wipe that plate off.

Yep.

- All right, all right. - Yeah?

- All right. - You got it?

- Yeah. You happy? - OK.

OK.

No, no, no. I'll do it. I'll take it.

- I'll take it. - All right.

-I'll take them.

- Away on table four, yeah? - Yeah, yeah.

- Good? Good? - Yep.

- OK. - Yep.

- Camille, check them chips. - Oui, chef.

Great, thanks, man. Ah, look at that. Amazing.

Amazing.

- Where's she gone? - She's just making a call.

That's good, chef. That's really good.

The sauce is...

Something...

...not deep about the sauce.

- Just didn't have enough time. - Didn't have enough time.

It's good, though. It's just...

You know, millimeters.

I wish I had known you were bringing her.

Why?

- We could have got ready. - You are ready.

It's a bit strong, isn't it, bringing her along?

We're the good guys, we're here for you.

Does your missus know if she's out with you?

Mate, I'm not being funny or nothing, but...

...What's this all about?

Mate.

You haven't returned a call to me in six fucking weeks.

All right? I shouldn't have to come down here,

right, to find out how we're doing.

Do you understand what I'm saying?

Six fucking weeks.

You want to know...

You want to know what this is about, right?

This is about you taking 200,000

- fucking pounds off me. - Excuse me?

- 200,000... - Can we have a quick picture?

Bit of a fan-boy moment, is that all right?

Just disappearing off the face of the fucking Earth.

Yeah, mate, come on. Come on, quick, lads.

- Will you take it? - Yeah, yeah.

Take a seat. Sit down.

Cheers, thank you for this.

Can you get two or three, mate?

This will definitely be, like, a thousand likes.

Chef! Disappearing.

- Hey! - Hey, nice one!

- Right, lads. - Nice one for that.

Thank you.

Can we get some sparkling water, please?

This is the head chef, mate. Ask one of the girls.

- He's not a waiter. - Just ask one of the girls.

Can we get some sparkling water over there?

- Yeah, no worries. - Sorry, chef.

Mate...

...I'm months away. Really.

OK, with the TV and the blah, blah, blah.

I'm months away from going under. I mean it, right?

I need... I need that money.

I can't give it to you, Al. I haven't got it.

I don't have it, mate.

I was trying to pay you back bit by bit.

That's no fucking use to me any more. I need it.

Do you know how many people go out of work

if I go under? I need you to help me.

I need you to give me the money.

I haven't got it. I can't give you what I haven't got.

You know what you do have.

You've got this place, right? This place is fucking gold, OK?

Perfect what we do in here, we do it together.

- We could backpack together. - I've already got a partner.

Mate, whatever partner you've got, you let me in, OK?

- This place... - This is mine.

This place is great, but it doesn't make a fucking penny

because you don't have a business mind.

I do. You do what you do in there,

and let me do what I do out here, and we split it.

70-30.

- I can't do that. - Why?

- I've got other partners. - You've got 30%

to split any way you fucking like, all right?

30% of a lot is a lot, OK?

Agree to this, it won't just be Sara giving good reviews,

you'll get good reviews from everyone in town.

Please, I need this.

- Hey, babes. - Hi, sorry, sorry.

Just on the phone with my kids

who are at my ex's, it's just...

- Wow, this looks great, chef. - Thank you.

- Right? - Beautiful.

What have I missed?

Nothing, we were just catching up.

This is great, by the way. You wait till you taste this.

It's beautifully cooked.

- Thank you. - Where's it from?

- Pink, look. - The duck was...

-We sourced the duck from Smith's.

Best meat supplier in the world.

Always used it at our restaurant.

It's beautiful.

Erm...

Well done, I don't know how you juggle both the...

...this, and life.

- You got kids? - Yeah.

- Yeah? How old, how many? - I've got a little boy.

- Yeah? - Excuse me.

Nathan.

That's nice, it's a good name. Me, I've got two.

Both girls.

You know, I was just on the phone trying to explain

why I have to be out for just one night.

I'm glad I'm here, but you know,

you just always feel like you're, er...

...you have to apologise for...

...anything. Just needed a break.

How do you two not burn out?

- Fuck's sake. - It's...

You know... You know the way to not burn out,

you know the way to achieve a successful restaurant?

It's confidence, and a great team, right, chef?

You can have a very mediocre chef surrounded by a great team

and you've got a successful restaurant.

Or you can have a shit chef, surrounded by a great team.

Well...

...good for you two.

I think men have, er...

...have an easier time of it.

You know what your fault is?

The trouble... You made one mistake in your life,

that was marrying the man you married.

Well, I didn't exactly think

I was marrying a selfish, self-obsessed,

- pretentious, narcissist. - Your man is a narcissist.

Who falls in love and marries a narcissist?

- I do... - Excuse me, I'm sorry.

I've just got to take this call.

OK, sorry.

Hello? Hello.

Yeah. Yeah, no, erm...

Yeah, no, I'm really sorry...

I said I'll try and call you back.

Could somebody help me?! She's having a shock. Help!

Listen, Nabs, I've got to go, OK?

I'll phone you back in a minute. I promise you.

- Is she allergic to anything? - Andrea, get a glass of water.

- What's happened? - She's having a shock.

- Do you want to come with me? - The staff are aware, yeah.

- Is she OK? - I'm on with the ambulance.

Was that the fall back?

I have no idea, I don't know.

- Chef, is she all right? - Yeah, I think so, yeah.

All right. I have no idea.

Erm...

What is going on out there?

I've no idea. I-I don't know. She...

What happened?

I have no idea. I don't know.

I don't understand what's going on.

I don't know.

Erm... I-I-I... Just give me a minute, give me a minute.

- I know. - It's not paid at all. Fuck!

I don't understand what happened.

- Is she OK? - I think so, yeah.

-I'll just check, I don't know.

- Take a breath. Just... - Dalston.

- Come on. Please, please. - Is she OK?

Excuse me, excuse me.

You had one job, you had one fucking job.

- We're really sorry. - Look what you've done.

- We're really sorry. - It's a shambles in there.

- I have no idea what happened. - You've ruined everything.

- I am so sorry. - Calm down, calm down.

Do you have, like, a blanket or jacket or something?

I think she's having, like, an allergic reaction.

- Nobody told me this. - She's allergic to nuts.

There wasn't any nuts in there.

- I don't know. - There's no note on the system.

Is she allergic? That's my table!

I'll let you know what's going on.

I've got the jacket.

You have to come round the one-way system.

- Give it to me. - Put it round her.

Is there anything else you want me to get?

No, nothing. Go, go. It's just up by...

- I'm just going... - Andrea, I know.

I just want to say you've done really well tonight, thank you.

It's been a tough night, maybe we could get a drink,

- or something, in the week. - That would be nice.

OK. I'm just going to flag the ambulance down.

Do you want to check if Dean's OK?

Yeah, yeah.

I think I can hear them, I'm just going...

- Literally seconds away. - Breathe in through your nose,

out through your mouth.

Through your nose, out through your mouth.

Think of Finland, yeah? We'll go to Finland...

They're asking for things I don't know, you have to...

- Details. - OK.

- It's fine, it's fine. - Hello?

Yes, her name's Mary Glaister.

Just keep warm, Mary. It'll be all right.

- How the hell did that happen? - I have no idea.

I don't know.

Er, there's nothing I can do.

Mate, mate, mate. You've got to concentrate, OK?

How did that plate get contaminated?

- I've no idea, I don't know. - Who cooked the meal?

- Erm... It would've been... - Who's the sous chef?

- It would've been Freeman. - Yeah.

- Carly would have sent it out. - Listen.

Carly has got to take the bullet for this,

otherwise you will, OK? This is your restaurant.

This is my money, OK?

- You have to... - I can't do that.

- Why? - It's not Carly's fault.

It doesn't matter whose fault it is. Fault leaves with her

in this ambulance. You've got to do this.

You've got to make the right decision.

You've got to do it, OK? You've got no fucking choice.

Thank you, guys. She's just over here.

Quick as you can, please.

- Hi. - Hi.

- Are you OK? - Hi, Mary.

My name's Lola, this is Catherine,

we're going to help you, OK?

Would you be able to tell me what it is that you've eaten?

- Has she got an EpiPen? - Yes, she does.

- Have you used it? - Yeah.

- When? - About five... Five or ten?

- I don't know. Five minutes? - That's fine.

- Is she going to be all right? - She's going to be fine.

- OK. - OK.

I'm just going to take your pulse, Mary.

- Really slow for me. - Go on, babe.

That's it.

Go on, babe. I'm with you, I'm with you.

That's it. Really nice and slow.

That's it.

Really slow, deep breaths.

- OK, pulse is fast but weak. - OK.

Just going to give her an EpiPen.

OK, Catherine's just going to give you a bit of adrenaline.

Short, sharp prick, OK, Mary? Well done.

You're doing really well.

- Is she OK? - She's going to be fine.

Right, shall we get in the back?

OK, we're just going to pop her in the ambulance.

OK. We're just going to stand you up

and get you onto the chair and take you into the ambulance.

- Thank you. - That's it, thank you.

Well done, Mary. Well done.

It's OK, I've got you.

Pop that back on for you. That's it.

- Well done. Keep with it. - Thank you.

Keep breathing nice and slow for me.

- Well done, Mary. - Can I come with you?

- Yeah. - You're doing really well, OK?

Well done, you guys. Well done, you.

- Thank you. - Thank you.

I'm really sorry. No, I'm so sorry.

Stop apologizing. You've done nothing wrong.

Just let me know what happens, yeah?

Stop apologizing.

My PR company will take care of this, all right?

You leave it to me, all right?

I-I can't do that.

- Listen to me. - I can't get rid of Carly.

This is not a request, all right?

This is a £200,000 fucking order.

You do the right thing. If you go under, so do I.

Fuck.

It'd be great if you could delete it.

I'm asking you to delete it.

Excuse me, lads. Back kitchen, please.

Yeah, sure.

Chef, chef. Chef!

- Yeah. - Do it.

- Is she going to be OK? - She'll be fine.

- Is she all right, chef? - Yeah, she's OK.

Back kitchen now, Tony. Back kitchen now.

Back kitchen. Back kitchen.

OK, erm...

So, wh-what... what table was it?

- Thirteen. - Thirteen. OK.

What did they order?

They had the salmon and the crab.

Two Old Fashioneds.

And they had two mackerel for main.

OK. OK, so...

- So the main was OK. - Look, we've been through it.

There was no nuts in any of those dishes, we called it.

OK, and you sent them out.

Yeah. And there was no nuts, there was no nuts

- in that dish. - OK, what was the main again?

It's mackerel with the... You know, we changed it.

Because the order... So we changed it.

- Ordered salad. - And the horseradish.

There's no allergies in my section.

- So we're good, then. We're OK. - Yeah.

- Yeah. - No, er...

The other plate did not have horseradish dressing.

- So what did it have on it? - The other one.

- I asked you, we ran out. - I told you to make some more.

- No, but for the other plate... - I told you to make some more.

Yes, but for the other plate,

you asked me to use the other one.

OK, so, that's all right, though, isn't it?

Yes.

- Yes. - W-w-what's in it?

Lemon juice, miso paste, rice wine vinegar,

- walnut oil and chives. - Walnut oil?

Oh, darling.

Oh.

It's all right, love.

It's all right, it's not your fault.

- OK. - She's in the ambulance.

She's not... It's not...

I don't think it's...

You really are fucking stupid, aren't you?

- No, seriously. - Come on.

You really are fucking stupid.

What do you mean, it's not much of an issue?

What do you mean?!

Because there's a girl that's probably going to...

No! No, Tony!

There's a girl who's probably going to die.

She's crying her eyes out. But you know who's fault this is?

Let's be really honest about it.

You're not going to say it, Carly! So I'm going to say it!

Andy, this is your fucking fault, my man!

Because you don't turn up on time, you don't do the orders!

You don't do the prep, you don't give a fuck about us!

You fucking come in stinking of booze!

You're a fucking...

- Stop it, Andy! - Andy, Andy, Andy!

Stop it!

- Stop it, right now! - Everybody needs to calm down.

Get him out of here! Go, go! Out front.

- Really mature, bro. - We've still got tables!

Go on.

Carly, it was my fault.

I told her to use the other one, it was my fault.

- All right. - I'm fucked, Carly.

All right, all right! OK, come on, come on, come on.

You just need to stay calm, all right, yeah?

Take a deep breath. Take a deep breath.

What am I going to do?

We'll get through it, all right?

It was my fault, though.

You need to take it one step at a time.

- OK. - All right?

Yeah?

- No, no, no, no, no, no, no... - Chef?

Fuck off, you! Get out, get out!

- All right, all right! - Fuck off!

Get out of my kitchen, you fucking prick!

- Carly, Carly, no... - What are you doing?

He wanted me to throw you under the bus.

- What are you talking about? - Honest to God.

He told me to let you take the blame for this.

- That fucking twat. - I can't, it's not my gaff.

- I can't take the blame. - I know, it was my fault.

It makes no fucking sense, Andy!

You don't understand. I'm in the shit.

Don't tell me I don't understand. I don't understand?

I'm here covering your arse every fucking single day, Andy!

I can't fucking take it any more!

- Carly... - No, no, no, no, no. No.

Right? I just fucking...

- Carly, I'm sorry. - No...

I-I-I've heard it a lot, Andy.

I-I've heard it a lot.

Just... This wasn't... Don't do this.

- Carly... - Oh. Stop it, stop it, stop it!

I-I have to go. I have to go.

- Carly, don't... - I have to take that other job.

I-I... I-I can't do this.

Yeah?

Don't, please... Don't, please.

- OK. - Yeah?

You get it, yeah? You understand?

- Please, please, please. - Yeah, OK. No, I get it.

- Please, please. - OK, no, you're all right.

- Yeah? Yes? - Yeah, you're right, yeah?

- Yeah, you're all right. - Yeah?

- Are you going to be all right? - Yeah.

- Yeah? - Yeah.

- I need to get back out there. - OK.

- Sorry, Andy. - It's all right.

It's all right, it's all right.

Give me a couple of minutes, yeah?

- Mm. - I'm sorry, Carly.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

Come on, guys!

Four covers!

Fuck.

Hello? Erm...

I know, I know. I'm really sorry.

I did, I tried to phone him, but, erm...

I did, yeah. I tried to phone him,

just everything's gone to shit in work, that's all.

I tried to phone him.

What do you mean? No, of course I love him.

Well, tell hi...

Tell him I love him. Tell him. He should that know I love him.

I am showing it.

I haven't. No, I haven't.

Yeah.

No, I haven't been sniffing.

Yeah. Yeah, I did, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, I did.

No, I don't know what to do. I just want to stop.

I do, honestly. I want to stop.

I want to stop it, I really want to stop.

OK, then. Erm...

Yeah, no. All right, well...

I'll go to rehab if I have to.

Yeah.

It's not, I promise. I will, I'll do it.

I promise I'll do it.

OK.

Yeah, I'll phone you tomorrow.

OK. OK, I will. Yeah, I will, yeah.

Yeah, I will, yeah.

OK.

Tell him I love him as well.

Please tell him I love him.

OK.

Right, ta-ra. Ta-ra. Ta-ra.

Oh, fuck.

Argh!

Have a happy New Year!

Andy. Andy, wake up! Andy, please. Andy!

Chef, please. Chef, wake up! Don't do this to me.

Can someone help? Help!

- Chef! - Somebody call an ambulance!

Chef!

♪ This is where I make my stand

♪ The corner of the hotel room with a receiver in one hand

♪ Holding onto the witness song

♪ Of a crackled voice on a dodgy line

♪ With a stomach full of piss-cheap wine

♪ Just one last drink to sink with you

♪ Before these fuckers run me through

♪ I haven't been the best of men

♪ Morality is an evolving thing

♪ I can blame the times I can blame the weeks

♪ I can blame the things that we saw as kids

♪ I'm a waster, darling, and I'll tell it straight

♪ Put all my failures on a plate

♪ She picks at them and doesn't chew

♪ And spits them out for me to view

♪ This place is full of poltergeists

♪ And tonight I'll join them

♪ When I die ♪