All language subtitles for hope.and.faith.s02e08.hdtv-lol

There she is, my little girl skipping
two grades, starting her first day of

school. Say genius.

Stop it, honey. You're embarrassing her.

One more time for the video camera.

All right, say, I got my brains from my
father.

Hey, girls, how about a ride to school?

Oh, my God, that's so not cool.

So that's a no?

Well, at least give me a hug before you
go.

Mom, please don't drip mascara on my new
backpack.

Sorry. Have a great day.

Call me if you need me, okay?

You take care of your little sister.

You hear me?

Oh, don't worry, Mom. I'll take care of
my baby sis.

Come on, kiddo.

Okay, let's get this straight. High
school is my domain. We were never meant

be there at the same time, which means
you are a guest star in my movie, and I

don't want us to have any scenes
together.

Got it?

Fine. I don't want to be in your
straight -to -video life anyway.

Oh.

I know it's hard letting go.

Are you sure about not having another
baby?

Yeah. Whose doll is this?

Oh, that's mine.

Are you sure you're sure?

This is an electronic baby for the
pregnancy prevention program at the high

school. I volunteered to give a little
talk to the kids tomorrow.

Hey, how about a little page four this
weekend?

We're still going away, right? I'm just
waiting to hear back from the sitter.

What do you need a sitter for?

We told you, we're going away this
weekend.

But I don't want a babysitter.

They always side with the kids over me.

Why can't I babysit?

Because you're irresponsible,
unreliable, and we don't trust you.

What does that even mean?

Hope, what do you think?

Well, Faith, you haven't been
demonstrating a lot of maturity.

Oh, yeah?

Who's the one playing with dough?

This is an electronic baby.

It's to show teenagers how hard it is to
be a mother.

Honey, why don't you just show them your
stretch marks?

For the same reason we don't show
pictures of your old nose.

Look, there's a computer inside.

It makes the baby poop, pee, cry, and
demand your undivided attention, just

a real baby. Oh, just like a full -grown
you, Faith.

Well, when these things grow up one day
and take over the world, I'd like to go

on record as saying I was against it.

You know what, Faith?

Why don't you try it? Taking over the
world?

Already happening.

No, the electronic baby. You should see
how you'd be as a parent.

Oh, I think we know how she'd be as a
parent. Remember when she lost Justin at

the state fair?

Hey, those carnies taught that kid to
juggle.

And he still hears from the lobster boy.

Faith it, Faith.

You don't have what it takes to be a
mother.

Oh, yes? Yeah.

Well, how about this?

I prove to you that I can take care of
this baby, and you let me babysit your

kids. Faith, I don't think... Deal.

I want to be the best mother any rubber
baby ever had.

All the seats are taken. Can I sit here?
Oh, I'm sorry. This table has a minimum

height requirement.

But apparently, no minimum IQ.

Ooh, here comes that smart boy that you
have the hots for.

That's why I don't have the hots for
him.

Hey.

Been the first day of high school gone.

I've only been called Annie three times.

Want to come sit with me and my friends?

Sure.

You know, we really should go say hi to
your sister. I mean, it is her first

day.

little high school girl.

How was your first day?

Scary. Intense.

Overwhelming. Fantastic.

It was totally incredible.

Poor thing.

Let me hold you.

Oh, hello. I'm sorry. Sydney's not home
yet.

Oh, I'm here for Haley.

Haley, there's a much older boy here for
you.

Mom, this is Henry, Edwin's brother.

She offered to help get me up to speed
in geometry.

Oh.

Should I bring in your favorite snack?

Soy nut butter on rice cake?

No, thanks. I picked up some chips and
soda on the walk home.

That's the dining room.

I've lost her.

Amber said what?

You know what?

Hold on a second. This new thong I
bought is giving me a total wedgie. I

I'm going to have to return it.

Well, yeah, that's why I left the tags
on.

You know what?

I'm taking it off for good.

Whew!

That's a relief.

I've been up all night. It won't stop
crying.

Maybe you're right. Maybe I can't be a
mother. Maybe I should just have a

vasectomy and be done with it.

Faith, you're having a perfectly natural
reaction.

Every mother feels like this at some
point.

You know, I used to think that you
looked really bold for your age.

But considering you've done this three
times, I think you look great.

a compliment what's a matter little guy
it's okay

night is dark close your eyes before

the boogeyman gets you eat your nose
nibble your toes stop

it hope you're scaring me what do you
mean that's the same song mom used to

to us when we're little

Coming to take you to dreamland.

He stopped crying.

Mama.

Did you hear that? His first word.

And it was mama.

What are you doing?

Taking care of my baby.

No, not really.

Come on!

Support the neck.

Did you hear that?

And Mama didn't think she could love you
anymore.

is a delicate subject.

Which is why I brought along a couple of
friends to help make it cool.

Abby Abstinence and Peter Peer Pressure.

Come on, Abby.

Let's go all the way.

Why can't we just cuddle?

Well, my friend Bobby Braggart went all
the way with his girlfriend.

Yeah.

Hey, kids.

Look who's here.

Polly Pregnant.

Donnie Dropout.

thing to do.

Haley, I don't want you to study with
Henry anymore.

Henry didn't tell everybody.

I did.

What? Why would you do that?

Because he's been a total jerk to me at
school.

I haven't been a jerk. I just haven't
been my usual loving self.

Yeah, right.

All he is is mean to me. And now you are
too. Congratulations.

Why don't you both go to your room?

People let me tell you about my best
friend.

You're in a good mood.

Oh, Hope. I had the most wonderful day.

I'm so glad you talked me into doing
this mother thing. You can't imagine how

feels.

I mean, I know he's just a doll, but
look at him.

Doesn't he almost seem real?

I wish he was.

Oh, my God!

Hope!

It's a miracle!

Either that or I took the wrong stroller
from the park.

Faith! You're right.

That's crazy.

You know this is considered kidnapping.

We could go to jail.

Look, it was an honest mistake.

Look, he's got the same stroller. That's
got to be the one.

All right, I'll distract him. You make
the switch.

Penny for your thoughts.

Mine are dirty.

Single.

Divorced. Separated gay.

I can work with all of it.

Married. And a little creeped out.

So gay then?

Alex, don't put that in your mouth. That
is not chocolate.

Got my baby back.

wants me to have a real baby. Somebody
grab her. She's taking my baby. Wait,

wait, wait. I can explain. It was a
mistake.

I did not mean to take your baby, just
like I didn't mean to take your baby

I took it. The only baby I ever wanted
was my own baby.

This one.

Right here.

She's crazy. I'll call the police. Don't
let her get away.

Wait, wait.

They can take me, but they'll never take
my baby.

I think it's still under warranty.

You know, when Haley outgrows you, I
have a nine -year -old brother you can

out with.

Actually, I was here to see you.

I was wondering if you'd like to go see
a movie with me.

Why would I want to do that?

Okay, forget it.

What movie?

Oh, it's a documentary about Wedgie
Jackson.

Come on, I couldn't help myself.

I guess they don't have anything better
to do.

I'll go get my purse.

Oh, hi, Henry.

Thanks for doing this for me.

No problem, but are you sure she's going
to crush on me?

You're a boy, aren't you?

Just don't tell her I asked you to take
her out.

Okay, ready to go.

Cool.

After you. Thank you.

You are so dead. I am nobody's pity
date.

I was trying to help you.

I don't think so. I think you were
trying to humiliate me again.

Fine. Forget it. You forget it.

with her and not got to share high
school too you know sydney i felt the

way when your mom came to high school
with me i was there first yeah but i put

you on the map he doesn't share anything
with me i feel like she hates me i

do you do not sydney what is wrong with
you two you are sisters do you

hear your mother and me arguing all the
time hey i don't think they hope

I'm tired of listening to you two fight.

Your sister is the best friend you will
ever have.

You need to be good to each other.
Respect each other's feelings.

And I feel. What part of Zip -It do you
not understand?

Now, Haley, Sydney, I want you to hug
each other and say you're sorry.

Do we have to?

Do it!

I'm sorry.

Me too.

All right.

Now, I want you two to spend some
quality time together.

Go wash my car.

There's some blood on the grill. Doesn't
matter how it got there. Just get it

off.

Now, what did you want to say, sweetie?

Just that... Well, I think you handled
that pretty well.

I'm impressed.

Impressed enough to let me take care of
the kids?

No, but perhaps impressed enough to
maybe possibly consider discussing the

slight chance of letting you take care
of the kids.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. I didn't say I
definitely wanted to.

They are a handful.

Maybe you should just get a sitter.

You know what I did realize?

That I'm glad I did this.

Because I really do want to be a mother
someday.

You hear that, Hope?

What? It's my biological clock.

Finally ticking.

You know, I always thought I had all the
time in the world.

And I'm 34.

I don't even have a boyfriend.

What if the opportunity just passes me
by?

It won't.

I just hope I'm half as good a mother as
you.

You're going to be a great mother.

Really? Anything's possible.

You're my best friend.

Oh, nice job, Faith.

Yeah.

Once again, you've proven yourself to be
completely incapable of doing anything

right.

So, When the sitter tells you it's
bedtime, I expect you to mind her. When

the...