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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:04,940 --> 00:00:05,940 Hey, sweetie. 2 00:00:06,980 --> 00:00:07,980 Mwah. 3 00:00:09,820 --> 00:00:11,320 Did you just give me an air kiss? 4 00:00:12,020 --> 00:00:13,440 Oh, don't be silly. I'm just busy. 5 00:00:13,900 --> 00:00:14,900 Uh -huh. 6 00:00:15,320 --> 00:00:19,500 So you're not still upset about my hole? Instead of having another baby, why 7 00:00:19,500 --> 00:00:20,500 don't you learn the piano? 8 00:00:21,320 --> 00:00:22,320 Loving suggestion? 9 00:00:23,360 --> 00:00:24,360 Of course not. 10 00:00:25,080 --> 00:00:28,020 And to prove it, I wrote you a little song. 11 00:00:28,280 --> 00:00:29,280 Oh. 12 00:00:45,680 --> 00:00:50,660 Then that's really okay, B. I won't force the issue. 13 00:00:50,860 --> 00:00:53,580 Sorry I didn't kiss you. 14 00:01:02,100 --> 00:01:04,300 Wow, you're getting good. 15 00:01:20,400 --> 00:01:23,820 Look at this, Hope. Isn't this the cutest, wittest, wittle -baiting, sooty, 16 00:01:23,820 --> 00:01:25,360 witty you ever saw in your little life? 17 00:01:25,840 --> 00:01:28,580 Doesn't it make you want to have your own little baby, baby? 18 00:01:30,600 --> 00:01:33,540 Why would I want a baby when I can play the piano? 19 00:01:37,280 --> 00:01:38,680 She's getting pretty darn good. 20 00:01:39,960 --> 00:01:43,240 Oh, Mandy, I'm glad you're here. I just made all the arrangements. 21 00:01:44,080 --> 00:01:46,780 We're getting married in two weeks at City Hall. 22 00:01:47,000 --> 00:01:48,000 City Hall? 23 00:01:49,770 --> 00:01:51,070 That's like a fairy tale. 24 00:01:52,970 --> 00:01:55,810 So, Mandy, will your boyfriend, the wrestler, be attending? 25 00:01:56,510 --> 00:01:57,530 What was his name? 26 00:01:58,230 --> 00:01:59,230 Strapless? 27 00:02:00,830 --> 00:02:06,310 Stratus. Ex -boyfriend, Hope. And he may be attending as my plus one. 28 00:02:08,009 --> 00:02:11,630 Look, Stratus is sweet, but Jack's the father of this baby. 29 00:02:11,870 --> 00:02:13,650 And his proposal was so romantic. 30 00:02:14,210 --> 00:02:16,730 No guy has ever said such nice things to me. 31 00:02:21,800 --> 00:02:23,160 Hey, maybe we should name the baby Tinkle. 32 00:02:24,460 --> 00:02:26,840 Jack, say what they think of the other baby names we came up with at lunch 33 00:02:26,840 --> 00:02:27,840 today. 34 00:02:33,240 --> 00:02:36,160 Pickle, Mayo, Knish, Reuben. 35 00:02:38,440 --> 00:02:39,720 We went to a deli. 36 00:02:42,760 --> 00:02:46,500 Dad, I can't believe you're really going to go through with this. 37 00:02:47,500 --> 00:02:51,300 I know that you don't approve of my marrying Mandy, but at least you could 38 00:02:51,300 --> 00:02:52,620 pretend to be supportive. 39 00:02:52,960 --> 00:02:55,020 Yeah, like we did when you married Charlie. 40 00:02:56,320 --> 00:02:58,360 But you're in love with another woman. 41 00:02:58,860 --> 00:03:00,460 You and Ann were inseparable. 42 00:03:00,860 --> 00:03:03,080 You were even thinking of moving here to be near her. 43 00:03:03,520 --> 00:03:06,980 Why would you want to give that up for a woman who wants to name her child after 44 00:03:06,980 --> 00:03:07,980 an open -faced sandwich? 45 00:03:09,640 --> 00:03:12,980 In Mandy's defense, Kanisha's a real name. 46 00:03:17,000 --> 00:03:19,500 My father ran out on my mother. 47 00:03:19,980 --> 00:03:21,900 I don't want that for my son. 48 00:03:22,400 --> 00:03:25,340 Yeah, but without a paternity test, you... I don't need a paternity test. 49 00:03:25,640 --> 00:03:29,660 If Mandy says the baby is mine, then I believe her. Why would she lie to me? 50 00:03:29,660 --> 00:03:31,140 wasn't going to tell me in the first place. 51 00:03:31,460 --> 00:03:33,080 All right, I've got it. 52 00:03:33,620 --> 00:03:36,120 What if we name the baby Flush? 53 00:03:38,520 --> 00:03:39,520 Flush Fairfield. 54 00:03:40,240 --> 00:03:42,280 I like it. Sounds Australian. 55 00:03:42,660 --> 00:03:45,000 Put another shrimp on the barbie, Flush. 56 00:03:47,850 --> 00:03:48,850 What do you think? 57 00:03:49,870 --> 00:03:51,930 I think I'd like to respond in song. 58 00:03:54,770 --> 00:04:01,090 If you want to marry Mandy, 59 00:04:01,270 --> 00:04:04,270 I think that's just fine and dandy. 60 00:04:05,410 --> 00:04:11,650 Can't wait to meet my brother, Flush, whose mother is a big old lush. 61 00:04:12,510 --> 00:04:13,810 Lush rhymes with flush. 62 00:05:08,450 --> 00:05:10,050 Sweeter than the old geezer speech. 63 00:05:11,230 --> 00:05:12,610 To the geese! 64 00:05:13,510 --> 00:05:14,510 Look, 65 00:05:14,930 --> 00:05:17,430 just two more presents and everyone can go home. 66 00:05:20,950 --> 00:05:21,950 Ann, 67 00:05:25,810 --> 00:05:26,990 what a nice surprise. 68 00:05:27,690 --> 00:05:32,430 Mandy invited me, but I can't stay long. I'm going to my cabin for the weekend. 69 00:05:33,750 --> 00:05:34,750 Hi, Ann. 70 00:05:37,550 --> 00:05:40,670 I just want you to know how sorry I am about all of this. 71 00:05:40,930 --> 00:05:44,770 Oh, look, you didn't know Mandy was pregnant when we started seeing each 72 00:05:44,810 --> 00:05:46,990 and you certainly didn't know she was my patient. 73 00:05:47,270 --> 00:05:49,170 So there's nothing to be sorry for. 74 00:05:49,810 --> 00:05:51,530 It just wasn't meant to be. 75 00:05:52,670 --> 00:05:54,470 Yeah, I guess not. 76 00:05:57,430 --> 00:06:00,130 Look at them. 77 00:06:00,750 --> 00:06:03,870 They're just crazy about each other. I can't believe he's going to just throw 78 00:06:03,870 --> 00:06:04,870 that all away. 79 00:06:05,400 --> 00:06:07,140 Bitterness is not flattering on you, Hope. 80 00:06:08,780 --> 00:06:12,680 And really, what's more important? Who Dad marries or your relationship with 81 00:06:12,680 --> 00:06:14,180 Dad? You're right. 82 00:06:14,400 --> 00:06:15,400 There you go. 83 00:06:17,160 --> 00:06:20,360 Well, I love you too, Stratus, but I need a commitment. 84 00:06:21,280 --> 00:06:25,000 Look, if you don't propose to me in the next two weeks, I marry Jack. 85 00:06:26,380 --> 00:06:29,040 Of course we'll still have sex, but not every week. 86 00:06:30,080 --> 00:06:31,280 I'm not a cheater. 87 00:06:35,630 --> 00:06:39,070 I just overheard Manny on the phone. She's only using Dad to get Stratus to 88 00:06:39,070 --> 00:06:40,630 marry her. We have to do something. 89 00:06:41,930 --> 00:06:43,830 All right. I love you, too, baby. 90 00:06:44,170 --> 00:06:46,230 Bye. Who are you on the phone with? 91 00:06:47,710 --> 00:06:49,030 Jean -Pierre, my hairdresser. 92 00:06:49,250 --> 00:06:52,470 Oh, did you go blonder? A little bit. I thought so. I love it. Faith! 93 00:06:52,870 --> 00:06:55,530 Right. Who were you on the phone with before that, wench bag? 94 00:06:57,230 --> 00:07:01,530 I think what Faith is expressing is some concern that you're just using our 95 00:07:01,530 --> 00:07:04,270 father to try to get your ex -boyfriend to marry you. 96 00:07:04,620 --> 00:07:05,599 What's going on here? 97 00:07:05,600 --> 00:07:07,140 Oh, she's been screaming at me. 98 00:07:07,360 --> 00:07:08,760 What? That's not true. 99 00:07:09,020 --> 00:07:10,020 Me either. She goes again. 100 00:07:10,420 --> 00:07:13,680 I was just trying to break up her marriage, and she's upsetting her 101 00:07:13,680 --> 00:07:14,680 child. 102 00:07:16,580 --> 00:07:17,720 All right, Hope, that's it. 103 00:07:17,960 --> 00:07:19,080 But she's... Enough. 104 00:07:19,800 --> 00:07:23,240 I don't want to hear it. I asked you to respect my decisions, but all you do is 105 00:07:23,240 --> 00:07:24,240 meddle in my business. 106 00:07:24,440 --> 00:07:25,440 Well, it wasn't just me. 107 00:07:25,520 --> 00:07:26,740 Faith is standing here, too. 108 00:07:26,960 --> 00:07:27,960 Hope, you're the oldest. 109 00:07:28,500 --> 00:07:31,980 Faith looks up to you. All you do is get these crazy ideas and drag your sister 110 00:07:31,980 --> 00:07:32,959 along with you. 111 00:07:32,960 --> 00:07:38,790 Kicking and... screaming me ever since we were little it's so hard being the 112 00:07:38,790 --> 00:07:45,550 good one hope you're not going to sabotage this wedding mandy 113 00:07:45,550 --> 00:07:49,010 what are we waiting for let's get married tomorrow 114 00:07:49,010 --> 00:07:54,610 and hope 115 00:07:59,320 --> 00:08:03,220 If you meddle in this in any way, you will not be a part of this baby's life 116 00:08:03,220 --> 00:08:04,580 mine. Do you understand? 117 00:08:05,880 --> 00:08:06,880 Perfectly. 118 00:08:08,960 --> 00:08:10,900 Nice bluff, Hope. Now, what's our plan? 119 00:08:11,180 --> 00:08:12,500 Kidnapping? Brainwashing? 120 00:08:13,220 --> 00:08:14,220 Murder. 121 00:08:16,680 --> 00:08:17,920 There is no plan. 122 00:08:18,760 --> 00:08:22,600 Dad is marrying Mandy, and we're just going to have to accept it. 123 00:08:24,660 --> 00:08:25,660 Oh. 124 00:08:26,020 --> 00:08:27,020 Hey, honey. 125 00:08:27,550 --> 00:08:32,630 I've been thinking about it, and it was really insensitive of me to assume that 126 00:08:32,630 --> 00:08:36,150 a piano could take the place of us having another baby. 127 00:08:36,370 --> 00:08:42,230 I mean, you can't hug and kiss a piano. You can't put it in your lap and laugh 128 00:08:42,230 --> 00:08:43,950 at all the cute little things it does. 129 00:08:45,010 --> 00:08:47,570 What you need is something to love. 130 00:09:07,720 --> 00:09:11,000 You better clean that up, seeing as he just peed on your bed. 131 00:09:13,380 --> 00:09:14,380 I'm sorry. 132 00:09:15,080 --> 00:09:16,640 I really thought a dog would do it. 133 00:09:19,780 --> 00:09:23,720 This is crazy. 134 00:09:24,080 --> 00:09:25,080 He's been driving forever. 135 00:09:26,400 --> 00:09:29,560 Mandy and I are getting married in two hours. What is she doing in the 136 00:09:29,560 --> 00:09:33,060 mountains? Dad, that's where her bachelorette party was and her car broke 137 00:09:33,380 --> 00:09:35,440 I didn't hear anything about a bachelorette party. 138 00:09:36,620 --> 00:09:38,270 Faith. What are you up to? 139 00:09:38,510 --> 00:09:40,790 Nothing. You're so suspicious, Hope. 140 00:09:42,170 --> 00:09:43,650 Okay, we're here. 141 00:09:44,450 --> 00:09:46,590 Go get your bride and we'll be off to the courthouse. 142 00:09:54,250 --> 00:09:55,530 What are you doing? 143 00:09:55,810 --> 00:09:57,050 Dishing dead in Ann's cabin. 144 00:09:57,330 --> 00:10:00,630 No, no, no. You turn this car around right now. I promised I wouldn't meddle. 145 00:10:01,050 --> 00:10:02,050 But I didn't. 146 00:10:02,470 --> 00:10:05,770 All he needs to be is alone with her for a few minutes and then he'll realize 147 00:10:05,770 --> 00:10:06,770 this is all a big mistake. 148 00:10:07,260 --> 00:10:08,520 Pull over. No. 149 00:10:09,300 --> 00:10:10,980 Stop backseat driving. 150 00:10:19,900 --> 00:10:22,320 Well, that was just great. 151 00:10:23,180 --> 00:10:24,180 Here we are. 152 00:10:24,320 --> 00:10:26,600 Out in the middle of nowhere with a flat tire. 153 00:10:27,860 --> 00:10:29,220 No cell service. 154 00:10:30,340 --> 00:10:31,460 Now what are we going to do? 155 00:10:33,160 --> 00:10:36,840 We have to make a pact here and now. If no one comes to rescue us, 156 00:10:37,870 --> 00:10:39,050 We eat you first. 157 00:10:42,410 --> 00:10:44,670 I hope these people will let us use their phone. 158 00:10:44,890 --> 00:10:48,850 Hope, trust me, you might think I'm crazy, but once Dad knocks on that cabin 159 00:10:48,850 --> 00:10:53,390 door and Ann answers, he's going to realize how much he loves her and not 160 00:10:53,570 --> 00:10:56,050 and we're all going to live happily ever after. 161 00:11:09,260 --> 00:11:12,060 I'm waiting for you. This is my cabin. 162 00:11:16,380 --> 00:11:18,320 Doesn't that look like a nine to you? 163 00:11:25,500 --> 00:11:31,180 Sorry you have to drive me to my wedding, Anne. 164 00:11:31,780 --> 00:11:33,620 I can't think of anything more awkward. 165 00:11:34,820 --> 00:11:36,060 Get on your... 166 00:12:05,950 --> 00:12:07,370 What's that supposed to mean? 167 00:12:08,950 --> 00:12:10,030 I'm sorry, Hope. 168 00:12:10,450 --> 00:12:12,470 I never wanted to tell you this, but... 169 00:12:15,370 --> 00:12:18,370 I married your mother because she was pregnant. 170 00:12:19,790 --> 00:12:22,270 Maybe that'll help you understand. 171 00:12:25,370 --> 00:12:28,230 So we're here. 172 00:12:33,470 --> 00:12:36,810 And you're a wonderful woman. 173 00:12:37,430 --> 00:12:41,950 You have no idea how I wish that things were different. 174 00:12:54,990 --> 00:13:00,770 We're gathered here today to witness the legal union of Jack Fairfield and Mandy 175 00:13:00,770 --> 00:13:01,770 Radner. 176 00:13:03,890 --> 00:13:07,130 I can't believe Dad only married Mom because she was pregnant. 177 00:13:07,550 --> 00:13:08,329 I know. 178 00:13:08,330 --> 00:13:11,490 I was shocked when I found their marriage certificate back in high 179 00:13:11,750 --> 00:13:15,470 It took me a couple of weeks to do the math, but then I was like, wow, Hope 180 00:13:15,470 --> 00:13:18,930 totally ruined Mom and Dad's life. No wonder they love me more. 181 00:13:22,250 --> 00:13:25,110 Don't you remember? I know something you don't know. 182 00:13:25,910 --> 00:13:26,910 Excuse me. 183 00:13:27,110 --> 00:13:30,470 Could you talk a little louder? We could hardly hear you. 184 00:13:31,150 --> 00:13:35,250 Oh, I'm sorry. We were just discussing the first time I found out that Hope was 185 00:13:35,250 --> 00:13:36,250 illegitimate. 186 00:13:36,810 --> 00:13:38,650 Oh, that was back in high school. Remember? 187 00:13:38,850 --> 00:13:39,850 I helped you do the math. 188 00:13:42,310 --> 00:13:45,450 Is there anyone here who thinks that these two people should not be joined? 189 00:13:46,090 --> 00:13:48,810 Actually, Your Honor, you might want to skip that part. 190 00:13:50,350 --> 00:13:51,910 Okay, I'll get right to it then. 191 00:13:52,550 --> 00:13:55,630 Jack, do you take Mandy to be your lawfully wedded wife? 192 00:13:56,610 --> 00:13:57,610 I do. 193 00:13:58,890 --> 00:14:02,250 Mandy, do you take Jack to be your lawfully wedded husband? 194 00:14:05,090 --> 00:14:07,790 Is that a yes? 195 00:14:11,710 --> 00:14:15,190 I don't know what that means. 196 00:14:15,990 --> 00:14:19,590 It means she's in labor. But her water didn't break yet. 197 00:14:23,850 --> 00:14:25,010 We've got to get her to a hospital. 198 00:14:27,370 --> 00:14:28,370 Okay, 199 00:14:29,490 --> 00:14:32,290 don't panic. Call Dr. Ann. She's probably not that far away. 200 00:14:57,840 --> 00:14:58,840 think this baby is yours. 201 00:15:06,840 --> 00:15:09,780 Okay, everyone under the age of 18 upstairs. 202 00:15:13,440 --> 00:15:15,860 Fake IDs don't count, Sidney. 203 00:15:18,320 --> 00:15:19,320 You okay, Dad? 204 00:15:22,600 --> 00:15:23,720 Hope you were right. 205 00:15:25,640 --> 00:15:28,720 I shouldn't have believed Mandy when she told me it was my baby. 206 00:15:30,160 --> 00:15:33,640 I really owe you an apology. 207 00:15:34,160 --> 00:15:35,160 No, no, no. 208 00:15:35,420 --> 00:15:36,960 That's not what I'm upset about. 209 00:15:39,800 --> 00:15:44,440 I just... I can't believe you only married Mom because she was pregnant. 210 00:15:46,720 --> 00:15:47,720 Didn't you love her? 211 00:15:48,380 --> 00:15:49,480 With all my heart. 212 00:15:49,880 --> 00:15:51,020 But that came later. 213 00:15:52,080 --> 00:15:54,080 So, I was just an accident? 214 00:15:54,480 --> 00:15:55,480 No. 215 00:15:56,080 --> 00:16:01,800 You were a miracle Your mother and I were soulmates, but we might not have 216 00:16:01,800 --> 00:16:08,640 discovered that if you hadn't happened And then you would have missed out on me 217 00:16:08,640 --> 00:16:12,880 The biggest miracle of all 218 00:16:12,880 --> 00:16:19,620 You know hope when they put you in my arms for the first time 219 00:16:19,620 --> 00:16:24,260 they say that newborns can't smile But I swear 220 00:16:24,990 --> 00:16:28,530 You looked up at me and gave me the brightest grin I'd ever seen. 221 00:16:30,270 --> 00:16:34,430 The sun rose in my heart, and it's still shining. 222 00:16:36,910 --> 00:16:37,910 Thank Dad. 223 00:16:42,730 --> 00:16:43,910 That was so sweet. 224 00:16:46,530 --> 00:16:48,270 What happened the first time you held me? 225 00:16:49,230 --> 00:16:50,510 You spit up on me. 226 00:16:53,290 --> 00:16:54,410 I love you. 227 00:16:58,160 --> 00:17:01,920 Now, I'm going to go lie down. This has been a long day. 228 00:17:06,980 --> 00:17:07,980 Look, Hope. 229 00:17:09,260 --> 00:17:14,700 I've been thinking, if you want to have another baby... I've been thinking too, 230 00:17:14,800 --> 00:17:15,800 Charlie. 231 00:17:16,500 --> 00:17:21,319 And seeing Mandy give birth was sort of a reality check. 232 00:17:22,119 --> 00:17:23,500 I'd forgotten about the... 233 00:17:24,780 --> 00:17:28,740 Crying, the nursing, lack of sleep. 234 00:17:29,120 --> 00:17:30,420 Your weight gain, your mood swings. 235 00:17:33,460 --> 00:17:35,260 Your list was sufficient. Go on. 236 00:17:38,420 --> 00:17:44,120 What I'm saying is I know there's something missing in my life, but it's 237 00:17:44,120 --> 00:17:46,380 piano or a dog. 238 00:17:48,020 --> 00:17:50,560 It's not a baby either. 239 00:17:52,080 --> 00:17:53,220 I don't know what it is. 240 00:17:55,699 --> 00:17:57,180 But I'm going to find out. 241 00:18:01,680 --> 00:18:08,320 Oh, Dad, 242 00:18:08,600 --> 00:18:09,600 did you get that? 243 00:18:15,100 --> 00:18:16,100 Ann, 244 00:18:22,080 --> 00:18:23,080 what are you doing here? 245 00:18:24,200 --> 00:18:25,320 Well, I got your invitation. 246 00:18:25,860 --> 00:18:26,860 My what? 247 00:18:27,260 --> 00:18:28,420 Your invitation. 248 00:18:42,520 --> 00:18:46,100 Sorry, Dad. I guess we just can't help ourselves. 249 00:18:46,600 --> 00:18:48,080 Love, hope, and faith. 250 00:18:49,880 --> 00:18:51,000 P .S. 251 00:18:51,280 --> 00:18:53,920 Compliment her on her shoes. Women love that. 252 00:18:56,540 --> 00:18:57,540 Nice shoes. 18323