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{\i1}Theorizing that one could time travel
within his own lifetime,{\i0}
2
00:00:04,460 --> 00:00:07,860
{\i1}Dr. Sam Beckett led an elite group
of scientists into the desert...{\i0}
3
00:00:07,940 --> 00:00:12,060
{\i1}to develop a top secret project
known as Quantum Leap.{\i0}
4
00:00:12,140 --> 00:00:14,500
{\i1}Pressured to prove his theories
or lose funding,{\i0}
5
00:00:14,580 --> 00:00:18,020
{\i1}Dr. Beckett prematurely
stepped into the project accelerator...{\i0}
6
00:00:18,140 --> 00:00:19,900
{\i1}and vanished.{\i0}
7
00:00:25,820 --> 00:00:28,340
{\i1}He awoke to find himself in the past,{\i0}
8
00:00:28,460 --> 00:00:33,500
{\i1}suffering from partial amnesia and facing
a mirror image that was not his own.{\i0}
9
00:00:33,620 --> 00:00:35,620
{\i1}Fortunately,
contact with his own time...{\i0}
10
00:00:35,700 --> 00:00:39,820
{\i1}was maintained through brain wave
transmissions with Al, the project observer,{\i0}
11
00:00:39,900 --> 00:00:44,740
{\i1}who appears in the form of a hologram
that only Dr. Beckett can see and hear.{\i0}
12
00:00:44,820 --> 00:00:48,380
{\i1}Trapped in the past, Dr. Beckett finds
himself leaping from life to life,{\i0}
13
00:00:48,460 --> 00:00:50,540
{\i1}putting things right
that once went wrong...{\i0}
14
00:00:50,620 --> 00:00:55,460
{\i1}and hoping each time
that his next leap will be the leap home.{\i0}
15
00:01:02,020 --> 00:01:03,260
It is too!
16
00:01:03,340 --> 00:01:05,620
- It is not.
- That is my Queen T-shirt.
17
00:01:05,660 --> 00:01:07,540
It's not yours, jerk.
18
00:01:07,580 --> 00:01:12,420
Read my lips, barf-head.
That's my shirt, and I want it back.
19
00:01:12,500 --> 00:01:14,900
It's Peggy Couche's.
Now, would you leave me alone!
20
00:01:14,980 --> 00:01:16,400
Give me that.
21
00:01:16,500 --> 00:01:18,700
I went to that Queen concert,
and I paid for it with my own money!
22
00:01:18,780 --> 00:01:21,060
Look what Wookiee did.
He ate my doll.
23
00:01:21,140 --> 00:01:24,060
Get your grubby hands off,
and keep outta my room!
24
00:01:24,100 --> 00:01:25,900
- It's not your T-shirt.
- It is too.
25
00:01:25,980 --> 00:01:27,340
- It is not.
- Liar.
26
00:01:27,420 --> 00:01:28,860
Booger-face.
27
00:01:29,140 --> 00:01:31,580
- Give it back, moron!
- Come and get it, shrimp!
28
00:01:31,700 --> 00:01:33,620
- Mommy!
- Mom!
29
00:01:33,740 --> 00:01:37,700
Mom, please fix my doll.
30
00:01:39,300 --> 00:01:41,780
My poor dolly's all chewed up.
31
00:01:41,900 --> 00:01:44,180
- I'm a mommy.
- Give me...
32
00:03:00,940 --> 00:03:03,620
- Give it to me!
- No! Give it to me!
33
00:03:03,700 --> 00:03:05,700
Listen. It's my shirt.
You took it out of my room.
34
00:03:05,780 --> 00:03:08,900
It's Peggy's shirt! You took this
out of my room, and you know it.
35
00:03:09,140 --> 00:03:11,460
Look what you did. Great.
That is Peggy's shirt.
36
00:03:11,580 --> 00:03:15,220
- It's my shirt, Susan!
- It's Peggy's shirt.
37
00:03:15,300 --> 00:03:17,260
I went to this concert.
I remember the concert.
38
00:03:17,340 --> 00:03:19,300
- Oh, you brute.
- Give it to me!
39
00:03:19,420 --> 00:03:21,580
Oh, my heavens.
40
00:03:22,740 --> 00:03:25,020
{\i1}I know I fought
with my brother and sister.{\i0}
41
00:03:25,100 --> 00:03:27,180
{\i1}It's the law of sibling survival.{\i0}
42
00:03:27,260 --> 00:03:30,060
{\i1}But somehow I always remember
Mom and Dad bringing us under control...{\i0}
43
00:03:30,140 --> 00:03:32,180
{\i1}with a kind but firm word.{\i0}
44
00:03:32,260 --> 00:03:33,740
Quiet!
45
00:03:41,620 --> 00:03:43,180
Wow.
46
00:03:43,500 --> 00:03:46,380
Mom just reached max gross load.
47
00:03:46,460 --> 00:03:48,980
- You're the gross load.
- Oh, yeah? Look who's talking.
48
00:03:49,060 --> 00:03:50,820
You're the one
who ripped my shirt.
49
00:03:51,100 --> 00:03:53,220
What am I supposed to do
about Peggy's shirt?
50
00:03:53,340 --> 00:03:55,460
My shirt. And you're gonna
buy a new one for me.
51
00:03:55,580 --> 00:03:58,820
Enough, okay? Enough.
52
00:03:59,300 --> 00:04:03,300
Now it's nobody's shirt.
Now it's just a... a torn rag.
53
00:04:03,380 --> 00:04:04,860
Where's my mommy?
54
00:04:04,940 --> 00:04:06,700
She's in front of you.
55
00:04:06,780 --> 00:04:08,900
That's not my mommy.
That's a man.
56
00:04:09,740 --> 00:04:11,380
Wild.
57
00:04:13,420 --> 00:04:15,820
I want my mommy.
58
00:04:20,940 --> 00:04:23,580
- Mommy! Mommy! Mommy! Mommy!
- Uh-oh, Mom.
59
00:04:23,660 --> 00:04:25,420
Baby breakdown.
60
00:04:25,500 --> 00:04:28,820
- What's wrong with Teresa?
- Too much Sesame Street.
61
00:04:28,940 --> 00:04:30,820
I've never seen her do that before.
62
00:04:30,900 --> 00:04:32,340
Would... Would you, uh...
63
00:04:32,580 --> 00:04:36,300
Would you just, uh, go check on her?
Why me?
64
00:04:36,380 --> 00:04:40,180
Yeah, sending Susan is like sending
Jaws to get the kids out of the pool.
65
00:04:40,420 --> 00:04:45,180
- I got science lab, Mom.
- First check on your sister.
66
00:04:45,820 --> 00:04:47,340
Please.
67
00:04:50,770 --> 00:04:54,460
You see before you a classic example
of the devastating effects brought about...
68
00:04:54,580 --> 00:04:58,060
when parents brutally yell
at their impressionable children.
69
00:04:58,180 --> 00:05:01,300
There's the signpost up ahead...
Go to school.
70
00:05:01,320 --> 00:05:02,590
{\i1}That's not my mommy.{\i0}
71
00:05:02,610 --> 00:05:04,770
You would send me off
to face the world...
72
00:05:05,740 --> 00:05:07,540
without breakfast?
73
00:05:10,500 --> 00:05:13,900
Uh, we... No, um...
Course not.
74
00:05:15,900 --> 00:05:17,700
I'm sorry, Mom.
75
00:05:18,220 --> 00:05:20,900
I mean, I know this divorce thing
has been real tough on you.
76
00:05:21,020 --> 00:05:22,540
I'm divorced.
77
00:05:22,900 --> 00:05:25,660
But like you said,
the hard part is over.
78
00:05:25,740 --> 00:05:27,740
I di... I... I did.
79
00:05:27,860 --> 00:05:31,020
And that bimbo Dad ran off with
is almost punishment enough.
80
00:05:31,140 --> 00:05:33,540
- It's time to think about yourself.
- Yeah, well,
81
00:05:33,660 --> 00:05:35,500
uh, you know, it... it's...
82
00:05:35,580 --> 00:05:38,260
- It's hard.
- Well, you're doin' it.
83
00:05:38,700 --> 00:05:40,980
I mean, you got
your real estate license.
84
00:05:41,220 --> 00:05:44,260
I know you'll sell
one of those tacky houses soon.
85
00:05:48,100 --> 00:05:50,100
I'm real proud of you, Mom.
86
00:05:50,380 --> 00:05:53,900
Wow. She has totally freaked out.
87
00:05:54,660 --> 00:05:57,980
- What do you mean?
- She says you're not her mother.
88
00:05:58,140 --> 00:06:02,660
And get this. You're a strange man
dressed in Mommy's clothes.
89
00:06:02,780 --> 00:06:06,260
- Ooh.
- I mean, totally creepy.
90
00:06:06,380 --> 00:06:09,340
Residual flashbacks
from your hippie days, Mom.
91
00:06:10,180 --> 00:06:12,660
I got her to come down
and take another look.
92
00:06:12,740 --> 00:06:14,380
Come on, munchkin.
93
00:06:14,460 --> 00:06:15,820
Come on.
94
00:06:16,620 --> 00:06:18,740
See? It's Mommy.
95
00:06:20,780 --> 00:06:23,580
That's not my mommy.
That's a man.
96
00:06:24,340 --> 00:06:26,540
So's the guy in the yucky shirt.
97
00:06:26,620 --> 00:06:29,580
This is my favorite shirt.
This is cutting-edge stuff.
98
00:06:29,700 --> 00:06:31,420
It's yucky.
99
00:06:32,420 --> 00:06:34,180
This is too weird.
100
00:06:34,300 --> 00:06:37,540
I want my mommy! Mommy!
101
00:06:37,660 --> 00:06:39,700
Definitely too much
Sesame Street.
102
00:06:39,780 --> 00:06:41,260
- Sam, she...
- {\i1}Mommy!{\i0}
103
00:06:41,340 --> 00:06:43,260
- She could see me.
- I know that.
104
00:06:43,340 --> 00:06:45,820
Finally, somebody agrees with me.
105
00:06:45,940 --> 00:06:47,980
Maybe somebody should,
uh, talk to her.
106
00:06:48,100 --> 00:06:50,260
Do you... Do you think
you could go and... and...
107
00:06:50,380 --> 00:06:52,780
talk to her again, uh, please?
108
00:06:52,860 --> 00:06:57,300
Mom, I'm 11. I won't have my
psych degree for another 15 years.
109
00:06:57,420 --> 00:06:59,540
They don't give degrees
to the hopelessly stupid.
110
00:06:59,620 --> 00:07:01,140
Okay. All right, please.
111
00:07:01,820 --> 00:07:03,420
You owe me for that shirt.
112
00:07:03,540 --> 00:07:04,610
Get real.
113
00:07:04,740 --> 00:07:07,540
Mom, don't forget.
You've got carpool to Girl Scouts,
114
00:07:07,660 --> 00:07:10,820
and I have a fitting for my new
soccer uniform this afternoon.
115
00:07:11,100 --> 00:07:14,220
- They got that gross blue.
- This afternoon?
116
00:07:14,340 --> 00:07:16,540
- Mom, my swim meet is this afternoon.
- {\i1}Mommy.{\i0}
117
00:07:16,620 --> 00:07:18,180
Look, you gotta be
at my swim meet.
118
00:07:18,300 --> 00:07:21,500
All right. I'll be... Uh, wait. Wait.
What about, uh, uh, Teresa?
119
00:07:21,620 --> 00:07:25,820
Oh, Mother Warrior,
you must face her alone.
120
00:07:26,020 --> 00:07:29,420
Or at least until Rafaella
gets here at noon. I gotta go.
121
00:07:30,220 --> 00:07:33,900
Mom, wear a dress to show
that house this morning, will ya?
122
00:07:37,380 --> 00:07:38,700
House.
123
00:07:39,220 --> 00:07:40,660
Sam,
124
00:07:41,380 --> 00:07:46,140
Ziggy says that kids
under the age of five exist in a...
125
00:07:46,260 --> 00:07:49,780
In a natural alpha state,
and that's how come she could see me.
126
00:07:49,860 --> 00:07:51,980
That's why she can see you,
but how can she see me?
127
00:07:52,060 --> 00:07:54,620
- Animals and kids, that's great.
- What did she say after Girl Scouts?
128
00:07:54,740 --> 00:07:57,340
They're pure of heart.
You know you can't lie to a kid.
129
00:07:57,420 --> 00:08:01,140
They see right through you.
They see the real you.
130
00:08:01,300 --> 00:08:03,260
- And little, uh... little, uh...
- Teresa.
131
00:08:03,340 --> 00:08:07,460
Ter... little Teresa,
she sees only the truth.
132
00:08:09,340 --> 00:08:12,410
Problem is,
the truth is her mother's gone.
133
00:08:12,450 --> 00:08:14,220
{\i1}Mommy!{\i0}
134
00:08:14,820 --> 00:08:16,580
What am I gonna do, Al?
135
00:08:19,060 --> 00:08:21,540
I guess you gotta
tell her the truth.
136
00:08:21,580 --> 00:08:23,900
{\i1}Please don't hide
from me, Mommy.{\i0}
137
00:08:23,980 --> 00:08:25,860
Poor kid. Okay.
138
00:08:25,940 --> 00:08:27,940
Where's my mommy?
139
00:08:34,180 --> 00:08:35,700
Um...
140
00:08:36,540 --> 00:08:38,700
Uh, your mommy, uh...
141
00:08:38,780 --> 00:08:40,460
Hummina, hummina.
Your mommy.
142
00:08:40,580 --> 00:08:42,780
Oh, your mommy had to go
away for a little while,
143
00:08:42,860 --> 00:08:44,820
but she's gonna
be back real soon.
144
00:08:44,980 --> 00:08:47,980
Yeah, my name is Sam,
and... and this is Al.
145
00:08:48,100 --> 00:08:50,180
And for the next couple of days,
146
00:08:50,260 --> 00:08:53,580
everybody's gonna pretend
that I'm your mommy.
147
00:08:53,660 --> 00:08:55,740
- That's good, Sam.
- Thank you.
148
00:08:56,020 --> 00:08:56,980
Why?
149
00:08:57,060 --> 00:08:59,540
- Why?
- Why? Why?
150
00:09:00,380 --> 00:09:01,820
Um...
151
00:09:02,420 --> 00:09:05,060
Oh. To help your big brother.
152
00:09:05,140 --> 00:09:06,460
Do what?
153
00:09:06,620 --> 00:09:08,940
- Do what?
- Do...
154
00:09:10,180 --> 00:09:13,540
Oh, uh, to... to win the swim meet.
155
00:09:14,580 --> 00:09:16,260
Are you angels?
156
00:09:16,420 --> 00:09:17,860
- Yes.
- No.
157
00:09:18,020 --> 00:09:21,860
Yes, uh, this is Angel Sam,
and I'm Angel Al.
158
00:09:21,940 --> 00:09:23,340
The truth, Al.
159
00:09:23,540 --> 00:09:26,460
Here, I'll show you.
Try and touch my hand.
160
00:09:29,540 --> 00:09:31,260
Come on back here.
161
00:09:33,380 --> 00:09:36,460
- See?
- You see, we're, uh, a couple of angels,
162
00:09:36,540 --> 00:09:38,420
and we're here to help Kevin
win the swim meet.
163
00:09:38,540 --> 00:09:40,700
And after we do that,
then we'll be gone,
164
00:09:40,820 --> 00:09:42,620
and... and your mommy
will come back.
165
00:09:42,740 --> 00:09:43,840
Promise?
166
00:09:43,940 --> 00:09:45,860
- Oh, yeah, promise.
- Promise.
167
00:09:46,310 --> 00:09:48,140
Can you fix it, please?
168
00:09:48,260 --> 00:09:50,700
Oh, uh, Wookiee.
Wookiee, the dog ate the...
169
00:09:50,780 --> 00:09:53,620
Uh, Angel Sam is the...
the doll elf.
170
00:09:54,140 --> 00:09:56,220
Uh, here.
171
00:09:56,980 --> 00:09:59,220
Then will you read me a story?
172
00:09:59,380 --> 00:10:01,660
- What a great... That's a great idea.
- Yeah, but...
173
00:10:01,740 --> 00:10:03,540
But you gotta hold the book
and turn the pages.
174
00:10:03,600 --> 00:10:05,640
- Yeah.
- That's a good deal.
175
00:10:05,780 --> 00:10:09,900
Okay, you go pick out a book,
and then I'll come right along.
176
00:10:14,980 --> 00:10:18,180
Okay, Al,
what are we really here to do?
177
00:10:19,460 --> 00:10:22,020
Well, I didn't want to say it
in front of her,
178
00:10:22,820 --> 00:10:25,340
but sometime in the next 24 hours...
179
00:10:25,420 --> 00:10:27,500
Kevin runs away from home and...
180
00:10:27,580 --> 00:10:28,940
And?
181
00:10:29,500 --> 00:10:32,420
He vanishes off the face of the earth.
182
00:10:33,660 --> 00:10:35,500
{\i1}He can't just vanish.{\i0}
183
00:10:35,580 --> 00:10:40,020
{\i1}Six months later, his bloodied clothes
were found in an abandoned van.{\i0}
184
00:10:40,740 --> 00:10:43,100
{\i1}They never found his body, Sam.{\i0}
185
00:10:43,420 --> 00:10:46,540
{\i1}And his mother
never allowed the case to be closed.{\i0}
186
00:10:59,140 --> 00:11:01,860
{\i1}I'm really glad you're enjoying
this positive parental experience,{\i0}
187
00:11:01,940 --> 00:11:03,860
- {\i1}I am.{\i0}
- {\i1}But we have a problem here.{\i0}
188
00:11:04,020 --> 00:11:07,020
Al, why would I come back
as a mother?
189
00:11:07,140 --> 00:11:08,660
Well, because, uh,
190
00:11:08,740 --> 00:11:12,340
Dad is off having
a severe case of midlife crisis.
191
00:11:12,890 --> 00:11:16,020
Well, fine. But how am I gonna
find out why Kevin runs off
192
00:11:16,140 --> 00:11:17,860
if I don't even have
time to turn around?
193
00:11:17,940 --> 00:11:20,340
I mean, would you look
at this woman's schedule?
194
00:11:20,460 --> 00:11:23,780
Car pool, music lessons, Mommy and Me
art class... That's just for today.
195
00:11:23,820 --> 00:11:25,980
- Calm down. Okay, okay, okay.
- Luncheon for the P.T.A., music...
196
00:11:26,020 --> 00:11:29,340
Calm down already, all right? You're
getting... You're gonna hyperventilate.
197
00:11:30,660 --> 00:11:33,540
Nobody ever said
it was gonna be easy being a mother.
198
00:11:33,820 --> 00:11:38,710
But since you are a mother, you gotta figure out
why your 15-year-old is gonna run away tonight.
199
00:11:41,220 --> 00:11:43,700
What's the worst thing
you can remember about being 15?
200
00:11:43,780 --> 00:11:45,380
- Who, me?
- Yeah.
201
00:11:45,460 --> 00:11:49,300
Oh. Getting busted
by her parents just as I was...
202
00:11:49,380 --> 00:11:52,180
Al, Al. I doubt that this has
anything to do with sex.
203
00:11:52,260 --> 00:11:54,180
Well, of course it...
What else could it be about?
204
00:11:54,260 --> 00:11:56,460
Lots of things.
I mean, when I was 15, I had...
205
00:11:56,540 --> 00:11:58,620
I had trouble because
I was smart and shy.
206
00:11:58,740 --> 00:12:02,300
- The kid is funny. He's not Einstein.
- Maybe it's a cover.
207
00:12:02,420 --> 00:12:05,140
Maybe he's using humor
to hide his emotions.
208
00:12:05,220 --> 00:12:07,660
- All right. What are you gonna do?
- I don't know.
209
00:12:07,780 --> 00:12:09,500
I don't know what I'm gonna do.
210
00:12:09,620 --> 00:12:12,820
But I know I can't... You know,
I can't follow him around all day.
211
00:12:14,180 --> 00:12:15,540
What?
212
00:12:16,780 --> 00:12:20,740
- I can't follow him around, but you can.
- No, no.
213
00:12:20,860 --> 00:12:21,980
- Yes.
- Uh-uh.
214
00:12:22,060 --> 00:12:23,460
- Yes.
- No. Lookit.
215
00:12:23,540 --> 00:12:26,380
Reading stories to the munchkin,
okay, that's one thing.
216
00:12:26,460 --> 00:12:29,540
But Sam Spadeing
a 15-year-old kid... forget it.
217
00:12:29,660 --> 00:12:31,420
- Al, it's no problem. You get Gooshie,
- No. Uh-uh.
218
00:12:31,500 --> 00:12:33,100
He centers you in on Kevin,
never knows you're there.
219
00:12:33,180 --> 00:12:34,460
Don't tell me about Gooshie.
220
00:12:34,540 --> 00:12:36,140
- I'm not gonna do it.
- I really appreciate this.
221
00:12:36,220 --> 00:12:38,060
- No.
- Thank you very much.
222
00:12:38,180 --> 00:12:40,780
- It's out of the question.
- Al... I owe you one then, okay?
223
00:12:42,660 --> 00:12:45,220
Uh, we got somebody
called Al for dinner?
224
00:12:52,300 --> 00:12:54,020
Hey, check it out, man.
225
00:12:54,100 --> 00:12:56,140
Baby has legs up to her neck.
226
00:12:56,220 --> 00:12:58,740
You gotta be kidding.
She's a walking beanpole.
227
00:12:58,820 --> 00:13:01,820
A beanpole? And I guess
you wouldn't like to climb it, right?
228
00:13:01,940 --> 00:13:03,580
Wouldn't or couldn't?
229
00:13:03,700 --> 00:13:07,020
She's jailbait.
Oh, yeah? And what are you, runt?
230
00:13:07,340 --> 00:13:11,020
Too hip to rob the cradle,
no matter how many points.
231
00:13:11,380 --> 00:13:15,460
Now, if the Kev were truly
lookin' for some action,
232
00:13:15,700 --> 00:13:17,620
he'd go after, uh,
233
00:13:18,700 --> 00:13:20,380
Jackie Arnett.
234
00:13:22,300 --> 00:13:24,300
- Oh!
- Jackie.
235
00:13:24,420 --> 00:13:26,420
- Ahhh.
- Jackie.
236
00:13:26,500 --> 00:13:30,080
Jackie! Jackie! Jackie! Jackie!
237
00:13:30,120 --> 00:13:32,200
Jackie! Jackie! Jackie!
238
00:13:32,230 --> 00:13:33,730
Stop it, guys!
239
00:13:33,900 --> 00:13:36,980
She's, uh, not my speed.
240
00:13:37,060 --> 00:13:40,580
What is your speed,
micro-stud? Reverse?
241
00:13:40,660 --> 00:13:43,740
She happens to live a couple of blocks
from me, and we've become...
242
00:13:44,140 --> 00:13:45,180
friendly.
243
00:13:45,300 --> 00:13:48,380
Jackie Arnett is friendly
with anybody that'll say hello.
244
00:13:48,460 --> 00:13:49,780
That's a lie.
245
00:13:50,020 --> 00:13:52,360
Come on, Kev.
The whole track team's had her, buddy.
246
00:13:52,420 --> 00:13:55,340
- I said that's a lie.
- He defends her honor.
247
00:13:55,420 --> 00:13:57,500
Ah. Perhaps this is true love.
248
00:13:57,620 --> 00:13:59,100
Absolutely love.
249
00:13:59,220 --> 00:14:03,060
Oh, but she wouldn't be desperate enough
for a class "C" creature like Kevin.
250
00:14:03,180 --> 00:14:06,980
- Class "C." I like it, man.
- Speak for yourself, zero charisma.
251
00:14:09,460 --> 00:14:11,380
All I'm sayin'is she's not like that.
252
00:14:11,460 --> 00:14:13,700
- Hey. That's nice, Kevin.
- What is she like?
253
00:14:13,820 --> 00:14:18,700
She's a strumpet. Worth maybe,
uh, 50 points. Right, Teddy, huh?
254
00:14:18,780 --> 00:14:22,580
Oh, not Demon and Dragon freaks.
I hate that game.
255
00:14:22,660 --> 00:14:26,620
A challenge.
A test of your noble manhood.
256
00:14:26,700 --> 00:14:30,060
Bring on the dragons,
you warted trolls.
257
00:14:30,940 --> 00:14:32,380
Thank you, ladies.
258
00:14:32,460 --> 00:14:35,540
And bring back a sacred sign
of his victory.
259
00:14:35,660 --> 00:14:38,820
- Like her panties.
- Face the challenge, jester,
260
00:14:38,900 --> 00:14:40,540
and earn your knighthood.
261
00:14:40,660 --> 00:14:43,540
I smell a setup comin' here.
262
00:14:43,620 --> 00:14:45,060
So be it.
263
00:14:45,180 --> 00:14:47,740
- Handle it, squire.
- Grow up.
264
00:14:47,860 --> 00:14:50,420
Never mind.
I'll handle this myself.
265
00:14:55,220 --> 00:14:56,900
Hey, where's he going?
266
00:14:58,020 --> 00:15:00,820
To set the stage
for your conquest.
267
00:15:00,980 --> 00:15:03,380
Yeah, just a little help
from your friends, right?
268
00:15:04,340 --> 00:15:06,540
Gooshie, center me on Sam.
269
00:15:11,100 --> 00:15:14,500
I'm not gonna tell a 15-year-old boy
how to seduce a girl.
270
00:15:14,620 --> 00:15:17,020
I don't see where you have
any choice in this, Sam.
271
00:15:17,100 --> 00:15:19,020
The kid is... is... is...
He's inexperienced.
272
00:15:19,140 --> 00:15:21,260
He's supposed to be
inexperienced. He's 15.
273
00:15:21,380 --> 00:15:24,380
I kno...
I'll have you know when I was fif...
274
00:15:24,500 --> 00:15:27,220
The fact that you were a practicing
pervert at the age of five
275
00:15:27,300 --> 00:15:29,760
has nothing to do with
the rest of the world.
276
00:15:30,020 --> 00:15:33,260
Words of wisdom from the world's
most sexually backward teenager.
277
00:15:33,340 --> 00:15:35,340
This has nothing to do with
my adolescent experience.
278
00:15:35,460 --> 00:15:37,860
Since you were sent here to help
him, I figure it does.
279
00:15:37,980 --> 00:15:39,140
No.
280
00:15:39,420 --> 00:15:43,420
Listen, Mr. Moral, if you and I represent
opposite ends of the sexual spectrum,
281
00:15:43,540 --> 00:15:45,860
- that puts Kevin about normal.
- No.
282
00:15:45,940 --> 00:15:49,500
You gotta help him, Sam.
His buddies are setting him up for a fall.
283
00:15:49,580 --> 00:15:51,900
When he takes it, he runs away.
284
00:15:51,980 --> 00:15:54,820
Besides, I think he likes the girl.
285
00:15:55,540 --> 00:15:58,900
- How would you know?
- Well, he defended her honor.
286
00:15:58,980 --> 00:16:02,620
I mean, you never defend a girl's honor
unless you... you really like her.
287
00:16:06,340 --> 00:16:11,420
No. No, I'm not going to encourage a
15-year-old boy to have sexual intercourse.
288
00:16:11,540 --> 00:16:14,540
What's secular undercourse?
289
00:16:16,620 --> 00:16:19,420
Uh, it's a game grown-ups play.
290
00:16:19,540 --> 00:16:23,100
Why... Why... Why don't we, uh,
wash up for dinner?
291
00:16:23,220 --> 00:16:25,940
I'm too little
to wash up for dinner.
292
00:16:26,060 --> 00:16:27,620
What, to wash up?
293
00:16:29,820 --> 00:16:31,340
See?
294
00:16:31,860 --> 00:16:34,020
Oh. Oh, yeah.
Let... Let me help you.
295
00:16:34,140 --> 00:16:36,260
Let me... Let me help you.
296
00:16:36,780 --> 00:16:38,940
Let me have this dolly, please.
297
00:16:40,020 --> 00:16:42,500
Al, what if we teach him
about romance?
298
00:16:42,820 --> 00:16:44,900
- Romance?
- I'm sure you've heard of it.
299
00:16:45,020 --> 00:16:47,300
The art of making someone
fall in love with you.
300
00:16:47,580 --> 00:16:50,620
Well, what kind of acceptance
is that gonna give him?
301
00:16:51,980 --> 00:16:53,580
It's gonna get him honor.
302
00:16:53,660 --> 00:16:56,980
These demons are on a quest,
and it isn't for honor.
303
00:16:57,060 --> 00:16:59,420
Look, if Kevin goes about this
the right way...
304
00:16:59,540 --> 00:17:01,220
and ends up with the girl he likes,
305
00:17:01,340 --> 00:17:04,660
then his warrior buddies
are gonna have to back off, right?
306
00:17:04,780 --> 00:17:06,340
Then he won't run away.
307
00:17:06,500 --> 00:17:07,900
Simple.
308
00:17:09,700 --> 00:17:13,220
Oh, no!
Oh, no.
309
00:17:13,300 --> 00:17:15,900
Hmm. What do you think, Teresa?
310
00:17:16,220 --> 00:17:18,300
- Yuck.
- It's ruined.
311
00:17:18,420 --> 00:17:23,580
I hope you're better at romance
than whatever that was supposed to be.
312
00:17:25,780 --> 00:17:29,100
Teresa, what do you say
we go pick up your brother and sister,
313
00:17:29,220 --> 00:17:31,340
and we'll all go out to eat?
314
00:17:31,460 --> 00:17:33,580
- Pizza!
- Pizza!
315
00:17:33,700 --> 00:17:35,780
Pizza. No pizza for you.
316
00:18:01,260 --> 00:18:03,020
Susan. Susan.
317
00:18:04,020 --> 00:18:07,260
Please come back. Get your books
and your uniform, all right?
318
00:18:07,380 --> 00:18:09,340
Mom, I'm gonna miss Magnum.
319
00:18:09,420 --> 00:18:11,020
It's gonna run for the
next eight years, okay?
320
00:18:11,100 --> 00:18:12,900
I think you got a little time.
321
00:18:13,300 --> 00:18:15,300
Come here.
Look at your face.
322
00:18:15,420 --> 00:18:18,860
Will you take Teresa upstairs
and wash the ice cream off of her face?
323
00:18:19,820 --> 00:18:22,260
- Thank you.
- Come on, munchkin.
324
00:18:22,380 --> 00:18:25,060
No. I want to stay with Sam.
325
00:18:25,140 --> 00:18:26,540
Honey...
326
00:18:27,820 --> 00:18:31,540
Would you... Would you do me a favor
and, uh, take my purse in for me?
327
00:18:31,660 --> 00:18:33,820
It's kind of heavy.
You got it?
328
00:18:33,900 --> 00:18:36,540
- I can do it, Sam.
- Thank you.
329
00:18:44,860 --> 00:18:46,460
You okay?
330
00:18:47,460 --> 00:18:49,420
Yeah. Yeah, I'm great.
331
00:18:49,900 --> 00:18:53,380
I mean, uh, everything all right?
332
00:18:54,060 --> 00:18:58,260
Yeah, sure.
I was just drifting in the ozone.
333
00:19:01,980 --> 00:19:03,820
Hey, uh, Kevin, you, uh...
334
00:19:04,020 --> 00:19:05,620
Wanna play some Ping-Pong?
335
00:19:07,020 --> 00:19:08,660
You hate Ping-Pong.
336
00:19:09,060 --> 00:19:10,500
I do?
337
00:19:11,060 --> 00:19:13,620
Well, I mean, that's because...
338
00:19:13,860 --> 00:19:15,660
I didn't want you to know
how good I was.
339
00:19:15,780 --> 00:19:17,220
Come on.
340
00:19:29,460 --> 00:19:31,260
Nice shot, Mom.
341
00:19:31,780 --> 00:19:33,500
Whenever my, uh,
342
00:19:33,860 --> 00:19:36,340
dad wanted to have
a heart-to-heart with us,
343
00:19:36,460 --> 00:19:39,260
usually it took place
over a Ping-Pong table.
344
00:19:40,140 --> 00:19:42,780
So, uh, what do you wanna talk about?
345
00:19:45,020 --> 00:19:47,220
Well, you looked like you
needed someone to talk to.
346
00:19:47,340 --> 00:19:48,500
Nope.
347
00:19:51,100 --> 00:19:54,500
Look, come on. Kevin, I know that...
that there's somethin' bothering you.
348
00:19:56,220 --> 00:19:58,140
Too cool to talk to your mom?
349
00:20:00,580 --> 00:20:02,300
It's just...
350
00:20:02,580 --> 00:20:04,460
You know, guy stuff.
351
00:20:05,700 --> 00:20:08,220
Yeah, well, you know,
if it has to do with girls,
352
00:20:08,300 --> 00:20:10,860
I... I... I might know more than...
More than you think.
353
00:20:10,940 --> 00:20:12,860
Yeah, I know. You used to be one.
354
00:20:13,340 --> 00:20:16,660
Yeah. Well, uh...
355
00:20:18,700 --> 00:20:20,580
No. No, that's not what I meant.
356
00:20:20,700 --> 00:20:22,060
I mean, if... if you wanna...
357
00:20:22,140 --> 00:20:25,300
If you need to talk to them,
or, you know, find out what...
358
00:20:25,380 --> 00:20:28,300
You know, things that
they like to hear, you know?
359
00:20:28,860 --> 00:20:33,620
Like, um, do you know where to put
your hands when you dance with a girl?
360
00:20:34,300 --> 00:20:37,300
This is, uh, too weird.
361
00:20:37,420 --> 00:20:39,740
You know, I can't talk to you
because you're...
362
00:20:39,820 --> 00:20:42,020
- You're my mom.
- Sam.
363
00:20:42,100 --> 00:20:44,220
Me and Wookiee made a painting.
364
00:20:44,300 --> 00:20:45,820
Oh, Teresa.
365
00:20:46,900 --> 00:20:48,700
Hey, you know, I think it's kind of punk.
366
00:20:48,820 --> 00:20:51,100
Oh, no, Wookiee, come ba... Here.
367
00:20:51,460 --> 00:20:54,020
Oh, Teresa.
Okay, here we go.
368
00:20:54,140 --> 00:20:56,740
Oh, don't touch any...
Wookiee, get off the couch!
369
00:20:56,900 --> 00:20:58,500
"Sam."
370
00:21:23,140 --> 00:21:25,460
{\i1}See you. Bye.{\i0}
371
00:21:34,380 --> 00:21:36,060
Hi, Mom.
372
00:21:53,740 --> 00:21:57,260
Come on, Jackie.
It's a hysterical idea.
373
00:21:57,500 --> 00:22:00,700
Besides, it's, uh,
just sort of an initiation.
374
00:22:00,780 --> 00:22:02,220
It still seems mean.
375
00:22:02,340 --> 00:22:04,580
You're not gonna back out
on us now, are you, Jackie?
376
00:22:05,020 --> 00:22:07,740
Come on. He might get
a little mad at first.
377
00:22:07,860 --> 00:22:10,700
But once he's a full wizard,
he's gonna be totally grateful.
378
00:22:10,780 --> 00:22:12,220
Totally.
379
00:22:12,900 --> 00:22:15,340
Of course, as class president,
380
00:22:15,460 --> 00:22:18,780
whoever I take to the Mardi
Gras Dance is crowned queen.
381
00:22:19,100 --> 00:22:21,300
But if you wouldn't like the
honor, I'm sure that I could...
382
00:22:21,420 --> 00:22:22,960
I already told my mom.
383
00:22:23,100 --> 00:22:24,500
Then we're on?
384
00:22:26,860 --> 00:22:27,900
Okay.
385
00:22:28,020 --> 00:22:30,040
Call Kevin and tell
him to be here at 8:00.
386
00:22:30,140 --> 00:22:33,020
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah!
387
00:22:33,540 --> 00:22:35,860
{\i1}This morning was like
any other on Oahu.{\i0}
388
00:22:35,980 --> 00:22:39,140
{\i1}A beautiful woman named
Christie DeBolt had hired me to,{\i0}
389
00:22:39,380 --> 00:22:43,540
{\i1}uh, play games
with her sister Louise.{\i0}
390
00:22:43,620 --> 00:22:47,860
{\i1}She said games. I would have said helping
a rich girl live out her fantasies.{\i0}
391
00:22:48,060 --> 00:22:50,820
{\i1}Okay, so it wasn't
like any other morning,{\i0}
392
00:22:50,900 --> 00:22:54,180
{\i1}but one has to be ready
to expect the unexpected.{\i0}
393
00:22:54,460 --> 00:22:57,500
{\i1}At any rate, I wasn't gonna
let it affect my workout.{\i0}
394
00:23:00,260 --> 00:23:01,700
{\i1}Hi, guys.{\i0}
395
00:23:05,380 --> 00:23:07,500
I'd never seen a
black orchid before,
396
00:23:07,620 --> 00:23:10,160
although technically they can't
exist, you know.
397
00:23:10,580 --> 00:23:12,220
{\i1}The box doesn't have the
florist's name on it...{\i0}
398
00:23:12,290 --> 00:23:13,600
What do you see in that geek?
399
00:23:13,620 --> 00:23:17,540
What are you, blind?
The man is terminally gorgeous.
400
00:23:17,660 --> 00:23:20,060
- He's a "wuz."
- Please.
401
00:23:20,180 --> 00:23:22,220
You have a major case of jealousy.
402
00:23:22,340 --> 00:23:25,260
Of what? The guy talks like
he's been sucking helium,
403
00:23:25,340 --> 00:23:27,260
and he giggles like a girl.
404
00:23:27,380 --> 00:23:30,100
The only thing that matters
is that he's sensitive,
405
00:23:30,700 --> 00:23:33,460
and he understands
the needs of a woman.
406
00:23:33,540 --> 00:23:36,620
And what makes you such an
expert on a woman's needs, runt?
407
00:23:36,740 --> 00:23:39,140
Knowledge by gender, jerk.
408
00:23:42,580 --> 00:23:44,140
Uh,
409
00:23:45,100 --> 00:23:46,660
Sue,
410
00:23:47,740 --> 00:23:50,420
if you had a guy that,
411
00:23:50,660 --> 00:23:53,020
like... you know, he liked you,
412
00:23:54,180 --> 00:23:56,460
what would he have to do to, uh...
413
00:23:57,660 --> 00:24:00,420
- You know.
- I'm 11.
414
00:24:00,540 --> 00:24:04,060
I don't have to deal with
that teenage mating ritual crap.
415
00:24:05,100 --> 00:24:09,540
But I'll tell you one thing.
You wouldn't be the school joke.
416
00:24:12,540 --> 00:24:14,820
Hey, you creep, I was watching that!
417
00:24:14,940 --> 00:24:17,940
I'm not gonna stay here
and put up with your garbage!
418
00:24:18,060 --> 00:24:21,460
Tell Mom I'm going to
Anita's to watch TV.
419
00:24:28,260 --> 00:24:30,060
Wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
420
00:24:31,220 --> 00:24:33,260
You didn't tell me
you were goin' out tonight.
421
00:24:33,780 --> 00:24:35,030
Yeah, sure I did.
422
00:24:35,060 --> 00:24:37,940
Remember last night I said me and the
guys were gonna go see Raiders again?
423
00:24:38,020 --> 00:24:39,980
- I'm cold.
- Yeah, okay, okay.
424
00:24:40,060 --> 00:24:43,660
Um, I don't want you
goin' out tonight.
425
00:24:43,980 --> 00:24:44,940
Mom.
426
00:24:45,060 --> 00:24:47,500
- It's too late to be goin' out.
- It's not even 8:00!
427
00:24:47,620 --> 00:24:48,900
And what about Susan?
428
00:24:48,980 --> 00:24:51,820
You know, she's over at Anita's
watching TV, and she's only 11.
429
00:24:51,940 --> 00:24:54,260
- Anita's? Where's Anita's?
- Next door.
430
00:24:54,340 --> 00:24:57,500
- Are you okay, Mom?
- He's not our mommy.
431
00:24:57,780 --> 00:25:00,180
Have you ever considered
taking her to a baby shrink?
432
00:25:00,300 --> 00:25:01,780
I'm not a baby.
433
00:25:01,860 --> 00:25:03,740
Okay, a dwarf shrink.
434
00:25:04,140 --> 00:25:07,580
Look, Mom, I gotta go, or I'm gonna
miss the rock rolling out of the cave.
435
00:25:08,100 --> 00:25:09,580
I said no.
436
00:25:17,140 --> 00:25:20,300
- Kevin...
- I'm going to my room! Is that okay?
437
00:25:20,420 --> 00:25:23,260
I just thought maybe
you could stay down with us and...
438
00:25:23,380 --> 00:25:25,100
No! Thanks!
439
00:25:28,860 --> 00:25:32,300
Sam, what's a dwarf?
440
00:26:09,460 --> 00:26:12,020
{\i1}Sam, Mommy sings me songs.{\i0}
441
00:26:12,140 --> 00:26:14,620
I... I don't know any new songs. Honest.
442
00:26:14,740 --> 00:26:16,580
Please.
443
00:26:18,140 --> 00:26:22,180
Couldn't ya... Couldn't ya just kind of
just fall asleep yourself without a song?
444
00:26:26,420 --> 00:26:29,820
♪ {\i1}Four and four are eight{\i0} ♪
445
00:26:34,220 --> 00:26:37,940
- Where have you been?
- Just go turn down the stereo, will ya?
446
00:26:38,940 --> 00:26:41,020
I'll sing you to sleep, honey.
447
00:26:42,180 --> 00:26:46,020
♪ {\i1}Inchworm ♪
♪ Inchworm{\i0} ♪
448
00:26:49,580 --> 00:26:52,620
♪ {\i1}You and your arithmetic{\i0} ♪
449
00:26:52,860 --> 00:26:56,740
♪ {\i1}Will probably go far{\i0} ♪
450
00:26:56,860 --> 00:27:01,060
♪ {\i1}Inchworm ♪
♪ Inchworm{\i0} ♪
451
00:27:18,180 --> 00:27:19,740
Al!
452
00:27:21,340 --> 00:27:22,900
Come on! Come on!
453
00:27:23,500 --> 00:27:26,940
God, Sam, I never really
wanted to have kids...
454
00:27:27,050 --> 00:27:28,970
- Kevin's gone.
- What?
455
00:27:29,060 --> 00:27:30,340
He wanted to go out earlier.
456
00:27:30,420 --> 00:27:32,380
Wanted to go to the movie with
his friends. I wouldn't let him go.
457
00:27:32,460 --> 00:27:36,780
Yeah, but he... Oh, he left the stereo
on, and he probably went out the window.
458
00:27:37,060 --> 00:27:39,980
- I would have done the same thing.
- I forced him to run away.
459
00:27:40,100 --> 00:27:42,500
No, you didn't. Why?
Telling him he couldn't go?
460
00:27:42,620 --> 00:27:45,860
No, no. It's those buddies of his.
They've got the thumbscrews on him.
461
00:27:46,060 --> 00:27:47,860
- Jackie Arnett.
- That's it.
462
00:27:47,980 --> 00:27:50,740
- I'm gonna ask Ziggy for her address.
- Uh, what about Teresa?
463
00:27:50,820 --> 00:27:53,540
Uh, I'll stay here and keep an eye
on her till you get back with Kevin.
464
00:27:53,660 --> 00:27:55,700
You're a hologram.
What if something happens?
465
00:27:55,780 --> 00:27:59,060
- Uh...
- Oh. Uh, Susan's next door.
466
00:27:59,180 --> 00:28:01,900
I'll go get her, and I'll call Rafaella to
have her come over, all right?
467
00:28:02,020 --> 00:28:05,380
Okay, good. And I'll catch up
with you when Rafaella gets here.
468
00:28:13,820 --> 00:28:15,900
You know, it... it was, uh,
469
00:28:16,020 --> 00:28:18,820
real nice of you
to invite me over, Jackie.
470
00:28:20,940 --> 00:28:24,580
Look, Kevin,
you don't have to be nice to me.
471
00:28:24,860 --> 00:28:27,700
You don't even have to
talk to me if you don't want to.
472
00:28:28,220 --> 00:28:30,100
We could just get started.
473
00:28:31,420 --> 00:28:33,740
Well, what about your parents?
474
00:28:33,820 --> 00:28:36,460
At the Davenports.
It's their bridge night.
475
00:28:37,220 --> 00:28:40,060
So, we're alone until at least 11.
476
00:28:43,660 --> 00:28:46,740
- Why are you doing this?
- Doing what?
477
00:28:47,060 --> 00:28:50,100
Well, I mean...
I mean, you know me...
478
00:28:50,860 --> 00:28:52,620
Well, I mean,
479
00:28:52,940 --> 00:28:55,140
do you even really like me?
480
00:28:55,580 --> 00:28:58,740
Not that you wouldn't like me
if you got to know me better.
481
00:28:59,260 --> 00:29:00,860
Does it matter?
482
00:29:01,860 --> 00:29:03,660
It does to me.
483
00:29:05,620 --> 00:29:08,540
Why don't you just go over there
and take your clothes off,
484
00:29:08,700 --> 00:29:10,660
and I'll put another tape in.
485
00:29:23,940 --> 00:29:25,540
It's okay.
486
00:29:31,300 --> 00:29:32,860
Take 'em off.
487
00:29:48,820 --> 00:29:50,260
Um...
488
00:29:50,620 --> 00:29:52,340
I, uh...
489
00:29:53,140 --> 00:29:54,900
I don't know what to do.
490
00:29:56,700 --> 00:29:58,180
Kevin,
491
00:29:58,820 --> 00:30:00,500
are you a virgin?
492
00:30:00,900 --> 00:30:04,100
Uh, virgin?
493
00:30:04,620 --> 00:30:06,020
Yeah.
494
00:30:06,580 --> 00:30:08,540
I'd really like to know.
495
00:30:12,340 --> 00:30:15,500
- Yes.
- Micro Man's a virgin!
496
00:30:15,620 --> 00:30:17,780
"I don't know what to do."
497
00:30:19,740 --> 00:30:21,780
He said he didn't know what to do.
498
00:30:22,140 --> 00:30:23,900
- "I'm a virgin."
- Kevin!
499
00:30:23,980 --> 00:30:25,820
Oh, Virgin Man.
Where you goin', Virgin Man?
500
00:30:25,900 --> 00:30:28,540
- Hey, Virgin Man!
- Where you goin', buddy?
501
00:30:28,620 --> 00:30:30,260
What's the matter?
Did you get embarrassed?
502
00:30:30,340 --> 00:30:32,100
Kevin! Kevin, come back!
503
00:30:32,220 --> 00:30:34,980
{\i1}Hey, micro-stud,
come on back. I'll tell you what to do!{\i0}
504
00:30:35,100 --> 00:30:37,540
{\i1}Virgin Man, where you goin'?
Where's your sense of humor, buddy?{\i0}
505
00:30:37,620 --> 00:30:39,140
{\i1}He lost it.{\i0}
506
00:30:40,700 --> 00:30:43,060
Yo, wimp.
Guy's a major wimp.
507
00:30:43,380 --> 00:30:45,140
Man, it was good!
508
00:31:08,140 --> 00:31:09,940
I can't believe you made me do that!
509
00:31:10,060 --> 00:31:12,780
- Hey, what's your problem, huh?
- That was really cruel!
510
00:31:12,860 --> 00:31:15,460
- It was great!
- Didn't you see how freaked out he was?
511
00:31:15,540 --> 00:31:18,580
Oh, do I detect
the pangs of remorse?
512
00:31:19,100 --> 00:31:20,740
You said he'd think it was funny.
513
00:31:20,860 --> 00:31:22,500
So he doesn't have
a sense of humor.
514
00:31:22,580 --> 00:31:24,980
He will after we tell
the whole school.
515
00:31:25,100 --> 00:31:28,260
- No!
- Hey, I think she likes him.
516
00:31:28,340 --> 00:31:30,700
Well, he's got a lot more
going for him than you losers.
517
00:31:30,820 --> 00:31:33,740
Hey, get your nose
out of the clouds and get real.
518
00:31:33,860 --> 00:31:36,820
- You're just as guilty as the rest of us.
- Guilty of what?
519
00:31:40,020 --> 00:31:41,460
Guilty of what?
520
00:31:41,660 --> 00:31:43,740
It was supposed to be a joke, Mrs.
Bruckner.
521
00:31:43,860 --> 00:31:46,860
- Where's Kevin?
- I don't know. He rode off on his bike.
522
00:31:46,940 --> 00:31:48,420
- He sure did.
- Kevin's not here?
523
00:31:48,540 --> 00:31:50,220
- Rode off on his bike.
- Yes, ma'am.
524
00:31:50,820 --> 00:31:53,900
- Where would he go?
- He probably went straight home.
525
00:31:55,580 --> 00:31:58,820
When Kevin disappeared,
his bike was found abandoned on Bell Road.
526
00:31:58,900 --> 00:32:01,100
- Where's Bell Road?
- Two blocks to the right.
527
00:32:01,180 --> 00:32:02,860
Mrs. Bruckner, I'm sorry.
528
00:32:02,980 --> 00:32:04,460
Tell Kevin.
529
00:32:05,300 --> 00:32:09,820
Man, with a mother like that
I'd still be a virgin too.
530
00:32:10,540 --> 00:32:13,460
You are still a virgin, pimple-puss.
531
00:32:13,660 --> 00:32:16,060
And you're gonna be a virgin
for another six years.
532
00:32:16,180 --> 00:32:17,740
I tell ya.
533
00:32:37,580 --> 00:32:39,660
Ziggy's tryin' to get a lock on him.
534
00:32:39,780 --> 00:32:41,700
Think maybe he went back home?
535
00:32:42,100 --> 00:32:44,020
No, I don't think so.
536
00:32:44,300 --> 00:32:47,220
They obviously
embarrassed him pretty good.
537
00:32:48,100 --> 00:32:50,380
I figure they must have
talked Jackie in...
538
00:32:50,500 --> 00:32:53,220
- Uh-oh. Sam...
- I see it.
539
00:32:56,420 --> 00:32:58,620
Ah! Okay. Here!
He's got him.
540
00:32:58,700 --> 00:33:02,660
Uh, they're in a vehicle
three kilometers straight ahead of us.
541
00:33:02,860 --> 00:33:04,980
Maybe... Maybe he hitchhiked.
542
00:33:07,140 --> 00:33:10,060
No. No, he didn't.
543
00:33:10,140 --> 00:33:11,740
It's a van.
544
00:33:14,010 --> 00:33:15,890
Can't you make this thing
go any faster?
545
00:33:15,900 --> 00:33:17,260
I got it on the floor.
546
00:33:17,340 --> 00:33:19,420
We shouldn't be in a
stupid station wagon.
547
00:33:19,660 --> 00:33:21,300
There it is.
548
00:33:22,100 --> 00:33:24,330
Al, you think maybe, uh...
549
00:33:24,580 --> 00:33:26,860
You think maybe you could center
in on Kevin just to...
550
00:33:26,980 --> 00:33:29,780
- What?
- Just... Just to be with him.
551
00:33:30,540 --> 00:33:33,420
But I can't do anything.
He won't even know I'm there.
552
00:33:34,540 --> 00:33:36,140
I'll know.
553
00:33:42,780 --> 00:33:44,460
Hang in there, kid.
554
00:33:45,380 --> 00:33:47,260
Just hang in there.
555
00:33:57,340 --> 00:34:00,860
You lay one hand on this kid,
you slime bag,
556
00:34:00,940 --> 00:34:02,540
and I'll kill you.
557
00:34:03,460 --> 00:34:07,100
I don't know how,
but I'll kill ya.
558
00:35:05,100 --> 00:35:09,660
See, what'd I tell you, kid? It's just
like John Wayne comin' with the cavalry!
559
00:35:27,540 --> 00:35:29,900
- Is Kevin all right?
- Yeah, he will be,
560
00:35:30,020 --> 00:35:32,260
as soon as
you take care of these sickos.
561
00:35:33,660 --> 00:35:35,540
"These"?
What, there are two of 'em?
562
00:35:37,180 --> 00:35:39,460
Yeah, there's two of 'em.
563
00:35:52,700 --> 00:35:54,020
I know...
564
00:35:54,340 --> 00:35:56,060
- I know this?
- Oh, yeah.
565
00:35:56,140 --> 00:35:59,180
You know judo, you know karate,
you know, uh, uh, mui thai,
566
00:35:59,300 --> 00:36:01,340
you know tae kwon do... Uh-oh.
567
00:36:04,020 --> 00:36:06,580
Watch out for the knife, Sam.
It could be sharp.
568
00:36:12,260 --> 00:36:13,740
All right!
569
00:36:14,740 --> 00:36:16,300
Good moves.
You're better than Bruce Lee.
570
00:36:16,380 --> 00:36:17,860
- Bruce Lee?
- Never mind.
571
00:36:17,980 --> 00:36:20,660
We gotta get Kevin outta
here before these sickos wake up.
572
00:36:20,900 --> 00:36:23,020
Mom?
573
00:36:26,380 --> 00:36:29,180
Mom! Mom!
I thought I'd never see you again!
574
00:36:29,300 --> 00:36:30,380
I know.
575
00:36:30,460 --> 00:36:32,280
You know, I wasn't runnin'
away, Mom. Honest.
576
00:36:32,340 --> 00:36:33,940
I know that too.
577
00:36:39,700 --> 00:36:41,740
- Let's go.
- Good idea.
578
00:36:44,980 --> 00:36:47,540
Mom, how?
579
00:36:48,900 --> 00:36:51,060
Girl Scouts.
Come on.
580
00:36:51,140 --> 00:36:52,620
Girl Scouts?
581
00:36:54,140 --> 00:36:55,820
Awesome.
582
00:37:08,460 --> 00:37:10,060
I gotta go.
583
00:37:16,140 --> 00:37:19,380
I know I treat you
like a turkey sometimes,
584
00:37:20,060 --> 00:37:23,380
but... I'm real glad...
585
00:37:27,220 --> 00:37:28,860
You know.
586
00:37:33,020 --> 00:37:34,860
- Bye.
- Bye, Mom.
587
00:37:43,260 --> 00:37:47,140
I... I don't know exactly what happened
at Jackie's last night, but, um...
588
00:37:48,860 --> 00:37:50,580
Well, I got a pretty good idea.
589
00:37:50,740 --> 00:37:52,420
Oh, boy.
590
00:37:54,340 --> 00:37:56,140
I know it had
something to do with sex.
591
00:37:56,220 --> 00:37:58,820
- Mom.
- It's not a dirty word, Kevin.
592
00:38:03,300 --> 00:38:06,580
The guys... found out I'm a virgin.
593
00:38:07,420 --> 00:38:08,820
Aha.
594
00:38:09,020 --> 00:38:11,460
They're gonna blab it
all over school.
595
00:38:12,340 --> 00:38:16,260
- That's a tough one.
- You bet it is. I'm nearly 16.
596
00:38:17,900 --> 00:38:20,020
I was a virgin when I was sixteen.
597
00:38:20,340 --> 00:38:23,100
You're a girl.
You're supposed to be.
598
00:38:25,620 --> 00:38:27,100
Kevin,
599
00:38:27,740 --> 00:38:29,620
you know, it doesn't matter...
600
00:38:29,740 --> 00:38:33,060
if you're male or female
when it comes to losing your virginity.
601
00:38:34,340 --> 00:38:37,700
And... And there's no special age
when it has to happen,
602
00:38:37,780 --> 00:38:40,460
but there should be a special reason.
603
00:38:42,660 --> 00:38:44,100
When...
604
00:38:45,220 --> 00:38:47,580
When you love someone
so much that...
605
00:38:48,340 --> 00:38:51,700
making love with them
is the most natural way of expressing it.
606
00:38:55,060 --> 00:38:57,060
I never thought about it that way.
607
00:38:57,780 --> 00:38:59,420
Yeah, well,
608
00:38:59,500 --> 00:39:01,660
before that time comes, um,
609
00:39:02,300 --> 00:39:05,380
there are some other things
we should talk about, okay?
610
00:39:05,660 --> 00:39:08,220
Okay? I mean, you're 15,
611
00:39:08,580 --> 00:39:12,100
and... you should just
give yourself a little time.
612
00:39:14,700 --> 00:39:16,140
Okay.
613
00:39:16,420 --> 00:39:18,220
- Okay.
- I gotta go.
614
00:39:18,300 --> 00:39:20,220
Yeah. Oh, here, leave that.
I'll get it.
615
00:39:32,140 --> 00:39:33,740
Thanks, Mom.
616
00:39:36,340 --> 00:39:37,620
- Okay.
- See ya.
617
00:39:37,700 --> 00:39:39,540
Yeah. Yeah.
Have a good day.
618
00:39:44,500 --> 00:39:47,460
- That was nicely done, Sam.
- You think so?
619
00:39:47,540 --> 00:39:49,340
- Yeah.
- Why haven't I leaped?
620
00:39:49,460 --> 00:39:53,380
Uh, because I'm having
such a great time with Teresa.
621
00:39:54,260 --> 00:39:58,260
Uh, you'll probably leap
as soon as Kevin confronts his friends.
622
00:39:58,980 --> 00:40:00,780
Your laundry's done.
623
00:40:17,460 --> 00:40:20,140
Halfling's life is about to end.
624
00:40:20,620 --> 00:40:23,020
Death by virginity.
625
00:40:28,220 --> 00:40:29,660
Kevin.
626
00:40:32,580 --> 00:40:35,740
I'm sorry.
Last night was stupid and mean,
627
00:40:35,860 --> 00:40:38,740
and I wouldn't blame you if you
never wanted to talk to me again.
628
00:40:39,500 --> 00:40:43,340
But I'd really, really like it if you'd
want to be my date for Mardi Gras.
629
00:40:49,140 --> 00:40:51,220
Only if you don't wear heels.
630
00:40:51,860 --> 00:40:53,380
Come on.
631
00:40:53,860 --> 00:40:57,420
Ladies and gentlemen,
I give you Virgin Man.
632
00:40:59,740 --> 00:41:01,500
You've gotta be kidding.
633
00:41:03,220 --> 00:41:04,820
Ooh!
634
00:41:04,900 --> 00:41:08,580
Ooh!
635
00:41:09,180 --> 00:41:11,820
Busted by a jester.
How degrading.
636
00:41:11,900 --> 00:41:14,500
You know, this means we're
gonna have to make him a wizard.
637
00:41:14,620 --> 00:41:16,220
We can't give him ultimate power.
638
00:41:16,300 --> 00:41:19,020
I don't think you guys,
uh, have a choice.
639
00:41:19,140 --> 00:41:22,300
Kevin! Kevin! Kevin! Kevin! Kevin!
640
00:41:22,420 --> 00:41:25,700
Kevin! Kevin! Kevin! Kevin!
641
00:41:27,380 --> 00:41:29,500
Okay, now,
what do we call this one?
642
00:41:29,620 --> 00:41:31,060
She's a little young, Al.
643
00:41:32,060 --> 00:41:34,780
Um, Tyrannosaurus rex.
644
00:41:41,620 --> 00:41:43,100
And this one?
645
00:41:44,140 --> 00:41:46,180
Um,
646
00:41:46,260 --> 00:41:47,900
stegosaurus.
647
00:41:48,900 --> 00:41:50,340
Right.
648
00:41:52,420 --> 00:41:54,020
How about this one?
649
00:41:55,460 --> 00:41:58,740
- Um, diplodocus.
- Yeah.
650
00:41:59,380 --> 00:42:00,700
Right.
651
00:42:04,460 --> 00:42:05,900
Al.
652
00:42:12,700 --> 00:42:14,260
Teresa,
653
00:42:17,260 --> 00:42:19,140
your mommy's coming back.
654
00:42:19,380 --> 00:42:21,660
- Mommy?
- Yeah.
655
00:42:22,020 --> 00:42:23,940
Can you stay?
656
00:42:24,660 --> 00:42:26,220
No.
657
00:42:27,380 --> 00:42:29,860
But I don't want you to go.
658
00:42:31,420 --> 00:42:33,100
Well, I don't want to go.
659
00:42:33,140 --> 00:42:35,860
But I'm gonna come back.
I don't know when,
660
00:42:36,260 --> 00:42:37,860
but I'll come back.
661
00:42:37,940 --> 00:42:39,420
Promise?
662
00:42:39,700 --> 00:42:41,220
I promise.
663
00:42:59,700 --> 00:43:01,420
Play now. Play now.
664
00:43:03,540 --> 00:43:07,260
- Come on. Come on.
- {\i1}Go Jaguars!{\i0}
665
00:43:13,620 --> 00:43:15,140
Oh, boy.
48113
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