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1
00:00:12,095 --> 00:00:15,389
♪ I'm goin' down to South Park,
gonna have myself a time ♪
2
00:00:15,390 --> 00:00:17,099
♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪
3
00:00:17,100 --> 00:00:18,976
♪ Humble folks
without temptation ♪
4
00:00:18,977 --> 00:00:21,937
♪ Goin' down to South Park,
gonna leave my woes behind ♪
5
00:00:21,938 --> 00:00:23,605
♪ Ample parking day or night ♪
6
00:00:23,606 --> 00:00:25,607
♪ People spouting,
"howdy, neighbor!" ♪
7
00:00:25,608 --> 00:00:28,610
♪ Heading on up to South Park,
gonna see if I can't unwind ♪
8
00:00:28,611 --> 00:00:32,072
♪ Mrph rmhmhm rm!
Mrph rmhmhm rm! ♪
9
00:00:32,073 --> 00:00:36,202
♪ Come on down to South Park
and meet some friends of mine ♪
10
00:00:42,792 --> 00:00:44,001
Dad!
Dad, there's this new place
11
00:00:44,002 --> 00:00:45,335
and you can actually go
and shoot each other,
12
00:00:45,336 --> 00:00:46,795
only it's soft BBs
and they're biodegradable,
13
00:00:46,796 --> 00:00:47,963
and the guns
are, like, totally real
14
00:00:47,964 --> 00:00:49,298
except you don't actually
get hurt,
15
00:00:49,299 --> 00:00:50,799
and it's like paintball
except for there's no mess,
16
00:00:50,800 --> 00:00:52,092
and the stuff
all looks totally real,
17
00:00:52,093 --> 00:00:53,469
and it's called Airsoft
and can I get one?
18
00:00:53,470 --> 00:00:54,803
Wha... Wha... What?
19
00:00:54,804 --> 00:00:56,430
There's an Airsoft field
where everybody plays on teams,
20
00:00:56,431 --> 00:00:57,973
and I promise I'll take
good care of the equipment,
21
00:00:57,974 --> 00:00:59,349
and if you think about it
it's a really great hobby
22
00:00:59,350 --> 00:01:00,809
for team building and learning
communication and...
23
00:01:00,810 --> 00:01:01,977
Whoa... Whoa... Whoa... Whoa...
24
00:01:01,978 --> 00:01:03,353
I was just thinking
if you could come
25
00:01:03,354 --> 00:01:04,646
to the Airsoft store with me...
Please, please, please,
26
00:01:04,647 --> 00:01:05,898
all my friends
already bought their stuff,
27
00:01:05,899 --> 00:01:06,982
and it's totally a way for us
to play outside
28
00:01:06,983 --> 00:01:08,275
like you always say...
Come on, please,
29
00:01:08,276 --> 00:01:09,818
only we can't tell mom
cuz she won't understand,
30
00:01:09,819 --> 00:01:11,487
but it's totally safe
cuz you wear eye protection.
31
00:01:11,488 --> 00:01:14,156
Okay, okay, Kyle, breathe.
32
00:01:14,157 --> 00:01:17,993
Here it is!
Isn't this cool?!
33
00:01:17,994 --> 00:01:19,870
Airsoft Armory?
34
00:01:19,871 --> 00:01:21,998
Come on, Dad!
You gotta check it out!
35
00:01:26,711 --> 00:01:29,838
My God!
Is this stuff real?!
36
00:01:29,839 --> 00:01:31,840
No, Dad, it's Airsoft.
37
00:01:31,841 --> 00:01:34,009
It's like paintball,
only it's way cooler
38
00:01:34,010 --> 00:01:36,220
and it just looks totally real.
39
00:01:36,513 --> 00:01:39,223
I-I really don't think
your mom would approve, Kyle.
40
00:01:39,224 --> 00:01:40,891
Dad... Please.
I'm not a baby anymore.
41
00:01:40,892 --> 00:01:42,726
The other guys...
They already got their stuff.
42
00:01:42,727 --> 00:01:44,019
We're playing today!
43
00:01:44,020 --> 00:01:47,439
Can I please just get, like,
an AK-47 and maybe a Glock?
44
00:01:47,440 --> 00:01:48,690
This stuff is expensive.
45
00:01:48,691 --> 00:01:51,026
Is this really how you want
to spend your allowance?
46
00:01:51,027 --> 00:01:52,736
Yeah, yeah!
It really is!
47
00:01:52,737 --> 00:01:55,364
These are all, like, legal,
right?
48
00:01:55,365 --> 00:01:56,990
Uh, yes, sir.
49
00:01:56,991 --> 00:01:59,701
You see you load these soft BBs
into the guns
50
00:01:59,702 --> 00:02:01,328
and they just kinda sting.
51
00:02:01,329 --> 00:02:04,873
And you can put the soft BBs
into grenades, rocket launchers,
52
00:02:04,874 --> 00:02:06,083
all kinds of stuff.
53
00:02:06,084 --> 00:02:08,210
So it's all totally safe?
54
00:02:08,211 --> 00:02:12,339
Wul, I wouldn't particularly say
that...
55
00:02:12,340 --> 00:02:14,591
I mean... all the stuff is safe,
56
00:02:14,592 --> 00:02:17,344
the guns and grenades
and things... but...
57
00:02:17,345 --> 00:02:21,265
But not necessarily the people
who mostly play Airsoft...
58
00:02:21,266 --> 00:02:24,060
What people mostly play Airsoft?
59
00:02:25,103 --> 00:02:27,521
Teenagers.
60
00:02:27,522 --> 00:02:30,899
Alright, Airsofters,
let's listen up.
61
00:02:30,900 --> 00:02:32,693
Before we let you onto
the field,
62
00:02:32,694 --> 00:02:35,028
we need to run through
our safety precautions.
63
00:02:35,029 --> 00:02:36,405
- Bruh...
- Bruh...
64
00:02:36,406 --> 00:02:39,783
We know all the safety stuff...
65
00:02:39,784 --> 00:02:43,412
First, your Airsoft guns
must all have a red tip...
66
00:02:43,413 --> 00:02:44,913
Bruh, we know...
67
00:02:44,914 --> 00:02:48,208
Second, there is no full auto
allowed on the field.
68
00:02:48,209 --> 00:02:49,459
Bruh...
69
00:02:49,460 --> 00:02:52,754
Third, there is a 500 fps limit
for your BBs.
70
00:02:52,755 --> 00:02:55,090
Bruh, can we play now?
71
00:02:55,091 --> 00:02:58,302
If you're hit by a BB,
raise your hand, say "hit,"
72
00:02:58,303 --> 00:02:59,887
and go back to respawn.
73
00:02:59,888 --> 00:03:01,430
Yes already, yes!
74
00:03:01,431 --> 00:03:04,099
Alright,
you guys are Team Rogue Wolf.
75
00:03:04,100 --> 00:03:08,562
You'll be playing against...
Where is Team Floppy Weiner?
76
00:03:08,563 --> 00:03:10,564
Right here!
77
00:03:10,565 --> 00:03:12,107
What?!
78
00:03:12,108 --> 00:03:15,277
Bruh, no! We aren't playing
with little kids!
79
00:03:15,278 --> 00:03:17,571
Yeah, it'll be too easy!
80
00:03:17,572 --> 00:03:18,614
Alright, fine!
81
00:03:18,615 --> 00:03:21,325
Then we'll split the kids up
on two teams
82
00:03:21,326 --> 00:03:24,119
and each one
will have a teenage partner.
83
00:03:24,120 --> 00:03:26,121
Bruh, seriously?
84
00:03:26,122 --> 00:03:29,416
- Kid with the poof ball, that's your teenager...
- Bruh.
85
00:03:29,417 --> 00:03:31,793
Green hat kid,
that's your teenager...
86
00:03:31,794 --> 00:03:33,795
Team B,
those are your two teenagers.
87
00:03:33,796 --> 00:03:35,339
Alright, sweet!
88
00:03:35,340 --> 00:03:39,427
Me and Kenny and our teenagers
are gonna smoke you guys!
89
00:03:43,640 --> 00:03:45,682
Go! Go, go, go, go, go!
90
00:03:45,683 --> 00:03:47,768
Come on! This way!
91
00:03:47,769 --> 00:03:50,896
Yes! Yes! Yes!
92
00:04:25,515 --> 00:04:26,890
I got you, Cartman!
93
00:04:26,891 --> 00:04:28,392
You didn't get me.
94
00:04:28,393 --> 00:04:30,811
I totally got you,
I heard it hit your jacket...
95
00:04:30,812 --> 00:04:32,396
Say hit and go back to respawn!
96
00:04:32,397 --> 00:04:33,689
You didn't hit me, Kyle!
97
00:04:33,690 --> 00:04:35,691
The BBs bounced off a leaf
or something, 'cause...
98
00:04:35,692 --> 00:04:36,692
Agh! Agh!
99
00:04:36,693 --> 00:04:38,527
Ok... Ok hit!
100
00:04:38,528 --> 00:04:40,279
You got me.
That was sweet.
101
00:04:42,907 --> 00:04:45,575
I'm outta green gas,
you got green gas?!
102
00:04:45,576 --> 00:04:47,703
Yeah, I got some right here,
partner!
103
00:04:50,915 --> 00:04:53,041
Bruh! Keep shooting!
104
00:04:53,042 --> 00:04:54,919
Whoo-hoo!
105
00:05:01,384 --> 00:05:03,093
Oh, my God...
106
00:05:03,094 --> 00:05:06,263
This is the greatest day
of my life.
107
00:05:09,559 --> 00:05:11,059
Ow! Ow!
108
00:05:11,060 --> 00:05:12,895
Hit!
109
00:05:13,896 --> 00:05:16,565
Yes! Yes!
That was so awesome!
110
00:05:16,566 --> 00:05:18,400
You guys, Airsoft rules!
111
00:05:18,401 --> 00:05:20,110
This is... Ow!
Hit! Hit!
112
00:05:20,111 --> 00:05:21,904
This is sweet!
113
00:05:23,531 --> 00:05:26,783
- That was so cool!
- Mrphh rmhprh mrphmrhmrh!
- Best thing ever!
114
00:05:26,784 --> 00:05:29,411
Dude, I can't believe we tied!
That was epic.
115
00:05:29,412 --> 00:05:32,289
Yeah, well, Team Floppy Weiner
will get you guys next time!
116
00:05:32,290 --> 00:05:34,916
That was seriously the best time
I've had in forever!
117
00:05:34,917 --> 00:05:37,127
- Me too!
- And you know what else is cool?
118
00:05:37,128 --> 00:05:38,920
We all have teenagers now!
119
00:05:38,921 --> 00:05:40,922
I know! My teenager said
he's gonna come over
120
00:05:40,923 --> 00:05:42,424
and show me how to clean my gun!
121
00:05:42,425 --> 00:05:44,635
Cartman, are you okay?
122
00:05:46,054 --> 00:05:48,305
I'm just really happy,
you guys...
123
00:05:48,306 --> 00:05:49,723
Airsoft is seriously, like,
124
00:05:49,724 --> 00:05:51,850
the greatest thing
in the whole world.
125
00:05:52,393 --> 00:05:53,727
Well, here's my house.
126
00:05:53,728 --> 00:05:55,312
Thanks, you guys.
127
00:05:55,313 --> 00:05:56,730
For just a few, brief hours...
128
00:05:56,731 --> 00:05:58,816
I forgot
how much everything sucks.
129
00:06:02,612 --> 00:06:05,363
Can we promise each other we'll
do Airsoft, like, all the time?
130
00:06:05,364 --> 00:06:06,448
Hell yeah, dude.
131
00:06:06,449 --> 00:06:08,283
We just gotta keep
our teenagers happy
132
00:06:08,284 --> 00:06:10,703
and we can play Airsoft
all the time.
133
00:06:11,287 --> 00:06:13,122
I love you guys.
134
00:06:27,804 --> 00:06:30,180
Hey, Kyle...
Uh, how did the Airsoft go?
135
00:06:30,181 --> 00:06:33,475
I took a BB right to the face
with a sniper rifle.
136
00:06:33,476 --> 00:06:35,394
It was so great, Dad.
137
00:06:36,479 --> 00:06:39,022
Are you sure this isn't all
a little too much for you, son?
138
00:06:39,023 --> 00:06:41,149
I'm not a baby anymore, Dad!
139
00:06:41,150 --> 00:06:42,484
Ooh!
140
00:06:42,485 --> 00:06:44,152
Oh, that's probably my teenager!
141
00:06:44,153 --> 00:06:45,445
See ya, Dad.
I love you!
142
00:06:45,446 --> 00:06:46,946
I love you, too, Kyle.
143
00:06:48,199 --> 00:06:49,825
I got it!
144
00:06:49,826 --> 00:06:53,829
Gerald... why is Kyle wearing
my makeup on his face?
145
00:06:53,830 --> 00:06:56,707
He's just...
Experimenting.
146
00:07:01,337 --> 00:07:03,338
Are you Kyle?
147
00:07:03,339 --> 00:07:04,506
Yeah!
148
00:07:04,507 --> 00:07:06,383
I'm here to drop off Trevor.
149
00:07:06,384 --> 00:07:08,218
He said he's your teenager now.
150
00:07:08,219 --> 00:07:09,469
Yah, that's right!
151
00:07:09,470 --> 00:07:12,139
Okay!
Well, good luck.
152
00:07:12,140 --> 00:07:13,890
What time
are you picking me up?!
153
00:07:13,891 --> 00:07:17,144
Just gimme a call...
Don't make it too soon, though,
154
00:07:17,145 --> 00:07:18,854
because I am going to relax.
155
00:07:18,855 --> 00:07:20,689
Fine, go ahead, I'm glad!
156
00:07:20,690 --> 00:07:23,776
Go away, I don't wanna see
your stupid face!
157
00:07:27,697 --> 00:07:31,533
Cool, dude, so, uh, you wanna,
like, clean our Airsoft guns?
158
00:07:31,534 --> 00:07:32,909
I'm starving to death.
159
00:07:32,910 --> 00:07:34,744
Can you make me
some food?!
160
00:07:34,745 --> 00:07:36,830
Wul... Like what kind of food
do you want?
161
00:07:36,831 --> 00:07:38,874
Leave me alone!
162
00:07:38,875 --> 00:07:40,709
Okay! Okay! Okay!
163
00:07:46,841 --> 00:07:48,049
Hello?
164
00:07:48,050 --> 00:07:50,969
Bruh, how do I make ramen?
165
00:07:52,763 --> 00:07:54,389
Excuse me?
166
00:07:54,390 --> 00:07:57,601
I'm starving, and the
instructions are all stupid.
167
00:07:57,602 --> 00:07:59,895
Oh, is this my teenager?
168
00:07:59,896 --> 00:08:01,062
How's it going, dude?
169
00:08:01,063 --> 00:08:02,689
It's not going!
170
00:08:02,690 --> 00:08:04,858
The ramen's all hard
and I can't eat it like that!
171
00:08:04,859 --> 00:08:07,694
Wul, you have to put the noodles
in boiling water.
172
00:08:07,695 --> 00:08:10,113
Where do I get water?
173
00:08:10,114 --> 00:08:13,450
You...
Do you have a sink?
174
00:08:13,451 --> 00:08:15,202
Bruh.
175
00:08:15,203 --> 00:08:16,953
Bruh, what?
176
00:08:16,954 --> 00:08:19,706
I'm sorry
I'm not a five star chef!
177
00:08:19,707 --> 00:08:21,249
Hey, man, it's cool.
Lemme uh...
178
00:08:21,250 --> 00:08:23,335
Lemme slow it down for ya.
179
00:08:30,718 --> 00:08:33,887
That one right there!
Take him out!
180
00:08:33,888 --> 00:08:36,849
Dude, Swamp Sniper rules.
181
00:08:41,395 --> 00:08:45,148
Hello?
182
00:08:45,149 --> 00:08:46,942
What...
What are you doing, dude?
183
00:08:46,943 --> 00:08:49,611
I need a bathroom.
184
00:08:49,612 --> 00:08:51,780
Y-You need to use my bathroom?
185
00:08:51,781 --> 00:08:55,117
I have to go to the bathroom...
Brah, what?!
186
00:09:01,499 --> 00:09:03,458
Dude, Kenny, the weirdest thing
just happened.
187
00:09:03,459 --> 00:09:05,001
My teenager showed up
at my house,
188
00:09:05,002 --> 00:09:07,128
and he's acting really strange.
189
00:09:07,129 --> 00:09:08,421
Mrph rmhmhm rm!
190
00:09:08,422 --> 00:09:10,298
Yours did too?
191
00:09:10,299 --> 00:09:12,926
Why do I have all these
zits on my face?!
192
00:09:12,927 --> 00:09:15,303
Mrph rmhmhm rm mrph rmhmhm rm!
193
00:09:15,304 --> 00:09:16,805
You don't even care!
194
00:09:16,806 --> 00:09:19,641
You don't care because you don't
even know me!
195
00:09:22,311 --> 00:09:25,397
What the hell are these things?
196
00:09:32,321 --> 00:09:34,615
Mrph rmhmhm rm!
197
00:09:44,917 --> 00:09:47,502
Dude, that's my friend Kenny,
we gotta kill him!
198
00:09:47,503 --> 00:09:49,170
I don't take orders from you!
199
00:09:49,171 --> 00:09:51,673
Okay, okay, but if we kill Kenny
we get a point, right?
200
00:09:51,674 --> 00:09:53,425
Come on!
201
00:09:56,846 --> 00:09:57,846
Agh!
202
00:09:57,847 --> 00:10:00,307
Mrph mrph mrph mrph!
203
00:10:01,183 --> 00:10:02,267
Hey, hey, hey, hey!
204
00:10:02,268 --> 00:10:04,352
No shooting
from less than 10 feet!
205
00:10:04,353 --> 00:10:05,770
I wasn't less than 10 feet!
206
00:10:05,771 --> 00:10:07,772
It's okay, it's fine.
We're sorry.
207
00:10:07,773 --> 00:10:10,233
I'm not gonna play anymore.
This is stupid.
208
00:10:10,234 --> 00:10:12,235
Dude, it's ok,
it's just a gay rule.
209
00:10:12,236 --> 00:10:14,446
Come on, let's beat these guys!
210
00:10:18,242 --> 00:10:20,035
Hit!
211
00:10:25,916 --> 00:10:27,208
Dude, Kyle, where are you?
212
00:10:27,209 --> 00:10:28,668
We started playing
like 20 minutes ago.
213
00:10:28,669 --> 00:10:29,961
Yeah, I know!
214
00:10:29,962 --> 00:10:32,213
My teenager asked me to take him
shopping for hair gel.
215
00:10:32,214 --> 00:10:33,381
- Hair gel?!
- What the dude,
216
00:10:33,382 --> 00:10:35,050
we're getting killed out here!
217
00:10:35,051 --> 00:10:37,553
Just do your best,
I'll be there as fast as I can!
218
00:10:39,722 --> 00:10:42,807
Okay, here it is.
This is the health care aisle.
219
00:10:42,808 --> 00:10:45,102
Could you go a little faster?
220
00:10:49,815 --> 00:10:51,399
Okay, here's all
the hair product stuff,
221
00:10:51,400 --> 00:10:52,484
which one do you like to use?
222
00:10:52,485 --> 00:10:53,902
I don't know.
223
00:10:53,903 --> 00:10:55,071
What?
224
00:10:55,072 --> 00:10:56,321
I don't know!
225
00:10:56,322 --> 00:10:58,323
Kyle?
What are you doing?
226
00:10:58,324 --> 00:10:59,491
Ugh, nothing, I'm...
227
00:10:59,492 --> 00:11:01,076
I'm just shopping
with my teenager.
228
00:11:01,077 --> 00:11:02,744
Can we go now?
229
00:11:02,745 --> 00:11:07,707
Okay, but you asked me if
I could buy you some hair gel.
230
00:11:07,708 --> 00:11:09,084
Shut up...
231
00:11:09,085 --> 00:11:12,212
Well... at least I'm not the
only one dealing with this crap.
232
00:11:15,174 --> 00:11:16,841
Your guy wants hair gel, too?
233
00:11:16,842 --> 00:11:19,677
No, my teenager
wants more lotion.
234
00:11:19,678 --> 00:11:21,596
All this guy does
is hang out in the bathroom
235
00:11:21,597 --> 00:11:23,515
and go through like two bottles
of lotion a day.
236
00:11:23,516 --> 00:11:24,849
I swear I don't know how soft
237
00:11:24,850 --> 00:11:26,601
you could possibly want
your hands to be.
238
00:11:26,602 --> 00:11:28,436
I just wanna get
to the Airsoft field,
239
00:11:28,437 --> 00:11:30,146
Stan says your team
is killing them!
240
00:11:30,147 --> 00:11:32,607
Damn right! Team Floppy Weiner
will destroy you guys!
241
00:11:32,608 --> 00:11:34,609
Yeah, we'll see
when I use my sniper rifle!
242
00:11:34,610 --> 00:11:35,860
You have to find me first!
243
00:11:35,861 --> 00:11:37,278
I gotta go to the bathroom.
244
00:11:37,279 --> 00:11:39,030
Oh, you gotta be
kidding me.
245
00:11:39,031 --> 00:11:40,698
There's one
over by the registers.
246
00:11:40,699 --> 00:11:42,617
No, you are not taking
the lotion.
247
00:11:42,618 --> 00:11:44,536
I hate you!
248
00:11:44,537 --> 00:11:46,496
Okay, I'm sorry you hate me.
249
00:11:46,497 --> 00:11:49,541
Just wanna play Airsoft,
buddy.
250
00:12:00,636 --> 00:12:03,805
Oh, my God,
you gotta be shitting me.
251
00:12:03,806 --> 00:12:06,058
Yeah... hello?
252
00:12:08,061 --> 00:12:10,562
I'm not gay.
253
00:12:10,563 --> 00:12:12,647
Whu... What?
254
00:12:12,648 --> 00:12:13,982
Why'd you call me gay?!
255
00:12:13,983 --> 00:12:15,900
Like,
what the hell do you know?!
256
00:12:15,901 --> 00:12:17,652
You don't even know me.
257
00:12:17,653 --> 00:12:19,863
I-I didn't call you gay.
258
00:12:19,864 --> 00:12:22,240
They said I couldn't shoot a BB
within 10 feet,
259
00:12:22,241 --> 00:12:23,825
and I just had to say bang bang,
260
00:12:23,826 --> 00:12:25,994
and you got all salty
and said I was gay.
261
00:12:25,995 --> 00:12:27,579
I was saying the rule was gay.
262
00:12:27,580 --> 00:12:30,331
I wasn't talking anything
about sexual orientation.
263
00:12:30,332 --> 00:12:32,333
Brah.
264
00:12:32,334 --> 00:12:34,002
You're right,
I shouldn't have used that word!
265
00:12:34,003 --> 00:12:35,503
Look... I was one of
the first people ever
266
00:12:35,504 --> 00:12:37,172
to say there was nothing wrong
with being gay.
267
00:12:37,173 --> 00:12:38,173
I had a dog that was gay!
268
00:12:38,174 --> 00:12:39,924
Oh, so I'm a dog now?!
269
00:12:39,925 --> 00:12:41,342
I'll kill you!
270
00:12:41,343 --> 00:12:43,094
Okay, dude...
271
00:12:43,095 --> 00:12:45,096
What... Do you want me to do?
272
00:12:45,097 --> 00:12:47,265
I want you
to just leave me alone!
273
00:12:47,266 --> 00:12:51,352
Okay, but you called me...
274
00:12:51,353 --> 00:12:53,939
Hello? Hello?
275
00:12:54,899 --> 00:12:55,982
What are you doing?
276
00:12:55,983 --> 00:12:58,026
I'm holding my hand
over a lighter!
277
00:12:58,027 --> 00:13:00,236
It's burning the shit
out of my hand!
278
00:13:00,237 --> 00:13:02,697
Okay, don't hold your hand
over a lighter.
279
00:13:02,698 --> 00:13:04,866
Bruh!
Bruh, this hurts so bad!
280
00:13:04,867 --> 00:13:06,910
Oh, dude, it's black.
281
00:13:06,911 --> 00:13:09,871
Is that what a third degree burn
looks like?!
282
00:13:09,872 --> 00:13:12,081
Jesus Christ.
283
00:13:12,082 --> 00:13:14,709
Dood, I just so lit
burned my hand.
284
00:13:14,710 --> 00:13:18,046
I need like...
I need like emergency services.
285
00:13:18,047 --> 00:13:19,714
Bruh, that was stoopid.
286
00:13:19,715 --> 00:13:21,466
Yeah, that was kinda stupid.
287
00:13:21,467 --> 00:13:24,928
I'm not stupid!
288
00:13:27,223 --> 00:13:29,724
I seriously don't know
what to do...
289
00:13:29,725 --> 00:13:32,894
I've tried being nice,
I've tried being harsh...
290
00:13:32,895 --> 00:13:35,104
And I get nothing
from my teenager. Nothing.
291
00:13:35,105 --> 00:13:36,356
Mrph.
292
00:13:36,357 --> 00:13:37,565
Wul, you're lucky.
293
00:13:37,566 --> 00:13:40,109
At least your teenager
doesn't threaten to kill you.
294
00:13:40,110 --> 00:13:42,278
I'd love him to threaten
to do anything.
295
00:13:42,279 --> 00:13:43,947
I'd love him to do.
Anything.
296
00:13:43,948 --> 00:13:46,741
On the rare occasion that my
teenager isn't in the bathroom,
297
00:13:46,742 --> 00:13:48,952
all he does is talk about
his miserable life.
298
00:13:48,953 --> 00:13:51,246
I'm like... okay, dude,
I've got problems too.
299
00:13:51,247 --> 00:13:53,790
But of course teenagers
don't care about your problems.
300
00:13:53,791 --> 00:13:56,125
I'm like, "Look, buddy,
I live in a hot dog. Ok?
301
00:13:56,126 --> 00:13:58,753
Like, maybe let's stop bitching
and just play Airsoft."
302
00:13:58,754 --> 00:14:00,922
But you can't say that because
then they're just gonna...
303
00:14:00,923 --> 00:14:02,507
- Want to kill themselves.
- Want to kill themselves.
- Want to kill themselves.
304
00:14:02,508 --> 00:14:03,759
Yes, yes.
305
00:14:03,760 --> 00:14:06,469
Mrph rmhmhm rm?
306
00:14:06,470 --> 00:14:08,429
No, we can't give up
on Airsoft...
307
00:14:08,430 --> 00:14:10,848
I'm like four hundred dollars
into this hobby.
308
00:14:10,849 --> 00:14:12,475
And we love it.
309
00:14:12,476 --> 00:14:14,102
Except for the part
about being around teenagers.
310
00:14:14,103 --> 00:14:15,353
Well, apparently,
a lot of people
311
00:14:15,354 --> 00:14:16,479
are in the same situation
we're in.
312
00:14:16,480 --> 00:14:18,147
What do you mean?
313
00:14:18,148 --> 00:14:20,525
I've been reading this book...
"Help, My Teenager Hates Me."
314
00:14:20,526 --> 00:14:21,943
Wow.
315
00:14:21,944 --> 00:14:24,195
Yeah... and... it has
some interesting ideas.
316
00:14:24,196 --> 00:14:26,614
It says we're basically just
dealing with an age difference
317
00:14:26,615 --> 00:14:28,783
- and we need to try and connect with them.
- Mrph?
318
00:14:28,784 --> 00:14:32,329
It says
we should take them camping.
319
00:14:32,871 --> 00:14:35,207
Camping?
320
00:14:36,500 --> 00:14:38,126
Bruh...
321
00:14:38,127 --> 00:14:40,795
- Bruh...
- Bruh...
- Bruh...
322
00:14:40,796 --> 00:14:42,964
Alright, guys!
We got the tents all set up.
323
00:14:42,965 --> 00:14:46,217
Yeah, check em out!
324
00:14:46,218 --> 00:14:47,885
Boy, isn't it nice out here?
325
00:14:47,886 --> 00:14:49,304
Mrph rmhmhm rm!
326
00:14:49,305 --> 00:14:51,723
There's a lake over there
where we can rent kayaks!
327
00:14:51,724 --> 00:14:54,017
So what do you guys wanna do?
328
00:14:54,018 --> 00:14:56,894
Go home.
329
00:14:56,895 --> 00:15:00,481
K, yeah, we can do that later,
but first maybe, um...
330
00:15:00,482 --> 00:15:02,984
let's bond a bit...
331
00:15:03,694 --> 00:15:06,195
Okay, looks like the tents
are set up...
332
00:15:06,196 --> 00:15:07,530
Can you come out now?
333
00:15:07,531 --> 00:15:11,409
I'm going to the bathroom!
334
00:15:11,410 --> 00:15:13,036
Okay, well,
you should probably finish up.
335
00:15:13,037 --> 00:15:14,495
I know
you took the lotion in there.
336
00:15:14,496 --> 00:15:16,205
You really don't need soft hands
for camping.
337
00:15:16,206 --> 00:15:18,667
Leave me alone!
338
00:15:21,253 --> 00:15:22,503
Come on, dude.
339
00:15:22,504 --> 00:15:25,132
No shit in the world
takes that long.
340
00:15:30,471 --> 00:15:32,513
Hey, buddy, what's up?
341
00:15:32,514 --> 00:15:34,807
I thought you were gonna go out
and play Airsoft today?
342
00:15:34,808 --> 00:15:37,226
No...
I don't think I'm gonna go...
343
00:15:37,227 --> 00:15:39,020
Oh.
344
00:15:39,021 --> 00:15:40,855
D-Did something happen?
345
00:15:40,856 --> 00:15:41,981
You wouldn't understand, Dad.
346
00:15:41,982 --> 00:15:44,233
I just can't deal
with teenagers.
347
00:15:44,234 --> 00:15:47,570
Oh.
Well, you know, they say
348
00:15:47,571 --> 00:15:49,697
that the brain chemistry
of a teenager
349
00:15:49,698 --> 00:15:51,741
is the same
as that of a psychopath.
350
00:15:51,742 --> 00:15:53,242
The hormones and all that...
351
00:15:53,243 --> 00:15:57,372
it's been proven they're
literally criminally insane.
352
00:15:57,373 --> 00:15:58,998
You know, I just...
353
00:15:58,999 --> 00:16:02,919
I just wanted to have fun...
And shoot my friends.
354
00:16:02,920 --> 00:16:06,255
I-I just wanted
to shoot my friends, dad.
355
00:16:06,256 --> 00:16:08,549
Oh, buddy, well,
356
00:16:08,550 --> 00:16:10,718
maybe you could ask
the Airsoft field
357
00:16:10,719 --> 00:16:12,887
to let you play
without the teenagers.
358
00:16:12,888 --> 00:16:15,098
We did! They said
they hate the teenagers
359
00:16:15,099 --> 00:16:18,017
just as much as anybody,
but they can't get rid of them.
360
00:16:18,018 --> 00:16:20,228
And we've got no one else
to partner with.
361
00:16:20,229 --> 00:16:26,067
Well... did you guys
ever consider your dads?
362
00:16:33,075 --> 00:16:35,243
Come on in, boys.
363
00:16:35,244 --> 00:16:37,078
Jesus Christ...
364
00:16:37,079 --> 00:16:40,081
How long
has this store been here?
365
00:16:40,082 --> 00:16:41,791
What do you think?
366
00:16:41,792 --> 00:16:44,711
This one can shoot a thousand
BBs in like five seconds.
367
00:16:44,712 --> 00:16:46,087
Seems pretty dangerous.
368
00:16:46,088 --> 00:16:48,631
What if the police thought
that gun was real?
369
00:16:48,632 --> 00:16:50,299
No, it's safe. See?
370
00:16:50,300 --> 00:16:53,302
As long as your gun
has a red tip and you're white,
371
00:16:53,303 --> 00:16:54,762
police won't shoot you.
372
00:16:54,763 --> 00:16:55,972
Oh, that's good.
373
00:16:55,973 --> 00:16:58,224
How can I, uh...
help you gentlemen?
374
00:16:58,225 --> 00:16:59,434
We need some equipment.
375
00:16:59,435 --> 00:17:01,811
We're gonna try
and take out some teenagers.
376
00:17:01,812 --> 00:17:06,566
Huh... I think that's
a somewhat foolhardy plan.
377
00:17:06,567 --> 00:17:09,444
Have you seen the kind of
weaponry the teenagers buy?
378
00:17:09,445 --> 00:17:12,280
It's some of the biggest,
nastiest weapons we sell.
379
00:17:12,281 --> 00:17:16,784
Yeah, well,
I've got something bigger.
380
00:17:16,785 --> 00:17:19,787
American Express Platinum.
381
00:17:19,788 --> 00:17:22,623
Give me one
of everything you have.
382
00:17:22,624 --> 00:17:25,877
Yes, sir!
383
00:17:26,295 --> 00:17:29,672
We... have completely had it
up to here with you.
384
00:17:29,673 --> 00:17:30,965
Up to here!
385
00:17:30,966 --> 00:17:33,259
Our friend Kyle
just wanted to play Airsoft.
386
00:17:33,260 --> 00:17:35,470
And now he's quit
because of your attitudes.
387
00:17:35,471 --> 00:17:38,014
What do you have to say
for yourselves?
388
00:17:38,807 --> 00:17:40,266
Brah.
389
00:17:40,267 --> 00:17:42,518
Yeah, brah, great, thank you.
390
00:17:42,519 --> 00:17:44,187
I can't...
I can't.
391
00:17:44,188 --> 00:17:46,189
Guys, things have to improve.
392
00:17:46,190 --> 00:17:47,440
They just have to.
393
00:17:47,441 --> 00:17:49,984
I've never seen anyone
so disrespectful.
394
00:17:49,985 --> 00:17:51,861
Mrph rmhmhm rm mrph rmhmhm rm!
395
00:17:51,862 --> 00:17:53,529
Mrph rmhmhm rm mrph rmhmhm rm?
396
00:17:53,530 --> 00:17:55,490
Mrph rmhmhm rm mrph rmhmhm rm!
397
00:17:55,491 --> 00:17:57,867
I have never seen Kenny
like this ever.
398
00:17:57,868 --> 00:17:59,827
Fine!
Then just leave!
399
00:17:59,828 --> 00:18:01,788
Cuz we don't want you here.
400
00:18:01,789 --> 00:18:03,289
And we don't want you here!
401
00:18:03,290 --> 00:18:05,208
We just wanna play
Airsoft
402
00:18:05,209 --> 00:18:07,126
without any of you on our team!
403
00:18:07,127 --> 00:18:09,504
Fine, then why don't you just be
on your own team?
404
00:18:09,505 --> 00:18:10,713
That sounds totally fine!
405
00:18:10,714 --> 00:18:12,507
Us against you,
let's go!
406
00:18:12,508 --> 00:18:16,135
Fine and if we win, you stay out
of our lives forever!
407
00:18:16,136 --> 00:18:18,846
Fine, and you too
when we beat all you!
408
00:18:18,847 --> 00:18:20,723
Yeah, you and what army?
409
00:18:20,724 --> 00:18:22,851
This army!
410
00:18:27,689 --> 00:18:28,753
Dad?
411
00:18:28,754 --> 00:18:29,899
Mrph?
412
00:18:29,900 --> 00:18:32,693
Any of you pussy teenagers
wanna Airsoft
413
00:18:32,694 --> 00:18:34,988
against some drunk rednecks?
414
00:18:39,034 --> 00:18:41,202
We got new partners, guys!
415
00:18:41,203 --> 00:18:43,496
That's awesome.
I wish I had a dad.
416
00:18:43,497 --> 00:18:45,832
And that I didn't live
in a hot dog.
417
00:18:45,833 --> 00:18:48,084
Oh, we got you a partner, too,
Eric.
418
00:18:48,085 --> 00:18:50,962
You might remember
Stan's Uncle Jimbo.
419
00:18:52,256 --> 00:18:56,634
Did somebody say somethin' about
Airsoft against teenagers?!
420
00:19:02,349 --> 00:19:04,600
♪ When they called me broken ♪
421
00:19:04,601 --> 00:19:06,936
♪ I knew ♪
422
00:19:06,937 --> 00:19:08,187
♪ When they called me evil ♪
423
00:19:08,188 --> 00:19:09,605
Ow! Hit!
424
00:19:09,606 --> 00:19:11,440
Ow!
I said hit, you bitch!
425
00:19:11,441 --> 00:19:13,693
That's it, son!
Light em up!
426
00:19:13,694 --> 00:19:15,736
Mrph rmhmhm rm!
427
00:19:15,737 --> 00:19:17,947
- Hit!
- Hit!
428
00:19:17,948 --> 00:19:19,073
Brah!
429
00:19:19,074 --> 00:19:22,452
Yee-haw!
430
00:19:24,371 --> 00:19:27,290
But there's one teenager
I can't seem to find!
431
00:19:28,625 --> 00:19:30,543
I know where he is...
432
00:19:32,546 --> 00:19:35,089
♪ When I begged forgiveness ♪
433
00:19:35,090 --> 00:19:37,258
♪ They knew ♪
434
00:19:37,259 --> 00:19:38,801
I'm so sick of this crap...
435
00:19:38,802 --> 00:19:40,052
♪ When I begged for mercy ♪
436
00:19:40,053 --> 00:19:42,430
♪ They knew ♪
437
00:19:42,431 --> 00:19:44,307
Bruh!
What the hell are you doin'?!
438
00:19:44,308 --> 00:19:47,476
What you do to Jergens Lotion
isn't right.
439
00:19:47,477 --> 00:19:50,313
♪ I would always
find my way ♪
440
00:19:50,314 --> 00:19:51,731
Ow! Ow! Ow!
441
00:19:51,732 --> 00:19:53,107
Ow! Ow! Bruh!
442
00:19:53,108 --> 00:19:54,775
Aah, bruh!
443
00:19:54,776 --> 00:19:58,237
Aah!
444
00:19:58,238 --> 00:20:01,616
Ow, my dick!
My dick! Aah!
445
00:20:01,617 --> 00:20:04,285
They're not coming out of cover!
I don't see them!
446
00:20:04,286 --> 00:20:06,079
It's ok, I've got an idea.
447
00:20:09,625 --> 00:20:11,209
Cover me.
448
00:20:23,972 --> 00:20:25,765
Bruh...
449
00:20:26,975 --> 00:20:29,769
Dood... that's weed.
I smell weed.
450
00:20:29,770 --> 00:20:32,313
♪ My name is ruin ♪
451
00:20:32,314 --> 00:20:33,689
♪ My name is vengeance ♪
452
00:20:33,690 --> 00:20:34,982
That smells dope!
453
00:20:34,983 --> 00:20:36,275
♪ My name is no one ♪
454
00:20:36,276 --> 00:20:39,654
Dood, it's a whole lit jar
of weed!
455
00:20:39,655 --> 00:20:42,198
Dope!
That is so dope. Bruh!
456
00:20:42,199 --> 00:20:44,492
♪ I'll show you broken ♪
457
00:20:44,493 --> 00:20:46,661
♪ I'll show you shameless ♪
458
00:20:46,662 --> 00:20:48,037
Bruh!
459
00:20:48,038 --> 00:20:49,997
Ow! Aah! Yow!
460
00:20:49,998 --> 00:20:52,500
- Bruh! Bruh!
- Bruh! Bruh!
- Aah!
461
00:20:52,501 --> 00:20:54,669
Yeah!
462
00:20:54,670 --> 00:20:58,381
- That was so epic!
- Did you see
how those teenagers ran?
463
00:21:00,008 --> 00:21:01,634
That was so sweet, you guys!
464
00:21:01,635 --> 00:21:04,679
I bet the teenagers will never
go back to that place again!
465
00:21:04,680 --> 00:21:05,888
Of course they won't!
466
00:21:05,889 --> 00:21:08,182
I saw half of em'
break their guns in frustration.
467
00:21:08,183 --> 00:21:09,600
Hey, thanks, you guys.
468
00:21:09,601 --> 00:21:12,228
We couldn't have gotten rid
of the teenagers without you.
469
00:21:12,229 --> 00:21:13,751
Yeah, thanks, Dad.
470
00:21:13,752 --> 00:21:15,356
Mrph rm!
471
00:21:15,357 --> 00:21:17,316
Hey, that's what
we're here for, right?
472
00:21:17,317 --> 00:21:19,694
We're just glad you wanted
to spend some time with us.
473
00:21:19,695 --> 00:21:20,903
Well, I'm hungry,
474
00:21:20,904 --> 00:21:23,072
is there any place around here
to get a hot dog?
475
00:21:23,073 --> 00:21:24,865
Yes...
Yes, I live in a hot dog.
476
00:21:24,866 --> 00:21:26,325
It's right over here!
477
00:21:26,326 --> 00:21:28,369
Come on, you guys,
help me get it all ready!
478
00:21:28,370 --> 00:21:29,601
Ok, let's go!
479
00:21:29,602 --> 00:21:31,331
Come on, guys!
480
00:21:34,334 --> 00:21:36,544
Should I take them out now?
481
00:21:36,545 --> 00:21:38,379
Not yet...
482
00:21:38,380 --> 00:21:42,216
We still have a few good years
before they turn into monsters.
483
00:21:42,217 --> 00:21:46,304
♪ When they called me broken ♪
34610
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