Original subtitles

I believe in America.

America has a made-a my fortune.

But for justice, you must go see

Don Scarpedicemente.

Why did you go to the police?

Why didn't you come to see me first?

You know, we've known each other for many years and

well, this is the first time you come to me.

I can't remember the last time you invited me to your house for coffee

even though I stood Godfather

to your only child.

You don't show respect.

You don't offer friendship.

Well, you don't even think to call me Godfather.

Instead, you come to me,

just before my anniversary and

you ask me to do murder for you

for money.

Ben Scaderra,

Ben Scaderra,

what have I ever done for you to treat me so disrespectfully?

Now,

if you came to me in friendship

then that scum would be suffering

and should by chance an honest man like yourself make enemies

then they'd become my enemies

and then they'd fear you.

Good.

Someday, and that day may never come,

I may call upon for you to do me a service

but until that day

accept this justice as a gift

on my anniversary.

Ricco? Rocco!

How'd it-

Eh?

Well 'cause if I woulda told youse, youse would've followed me.

I ain't sayin'.

And don't bother to try and track me down

I turned off my GPS.

Now, tell me

how'd it go?

Yeah...

Good.

Huh?

Don't worry about it.

It went like I said, no?

Well, how the hell is he going to find out? You gonna tell him?

Yeah, look, the only way he'll know is

if he goes fishing in the Colorado and catches himself a big baccalà.

Oh, the kid's still in the hospital, what'd you want me to do, forget about it?

How many times I have to tell you, you cannot refuse a request

upon a special occasion such as your anniversary.

Made?

Don't worry about it, youse are with me

if anything goes down

I'll take care of Uncle Charlie, all right?

Yeah, well, that's not gonna hap-

No, he won't.

He's not.

Look... listen I'm-... I'm... yeah.

I'm not gonna let that happen.

Oh, enough already!

What are we doin'? We're on the phone!

This is how we get in trouble, you know, we talk too much.

Now listen up,

I want youse to go to Uncle Charlie's, he's flyin' in tonight.

No dice,

youse are on your own this weekend.

Yeah, well, this is one job I don't need youse for.

Hey, hey, you know where we are? No.

So nobody knows.

I'll be all right.

Now do like I tell you.

No, snake eyes!

What? You want him to get suspicious? ...Then go!

It's his big weekend.

Well everybody's gonna be there.

I'll be there on Monday.

Well, who do you think he's going to have?

Dominic the Clown dressed up as Columbus singing Happy Birthday to himself.

Oh, you think that's funny? Well maybe if I was up there,

but him? They're only gonna laugh outta respect for Uncle Charlie, you know that.

Well what could I say, you know,

every father wants his own to be a star. If I had it my way

Well I'd be up there.

but he owns the joint, so I gotta play the cards I've been dealt,

for now.

I know youse are

that's why I love you.

Now you be good boys and do as I say.

Well where is he?

Ahh, ah! Well he's got the idea. Release some tension.

You see, that's what I like about your brother, Ricco,

after a hard day's work,

well he goes out there makin' it harder.

Get it? Harder.

Well of course you don't, if you was gettin' it

you wouldn't be on the phone talking to me.

Well, what do you mean by funny?

Funny how?

Like, I'm a clown? I amuse you?

I almost had you. Didn't I?

Who's the best, eh? I should be up there.

Yeah...

Las Vegas.

That's what I like about you, Loui

you're a thinker.

Dominic, ahhh, Dominic is my boy but he's not for this.

I'm moving Dominic outta Vegas and making you boss.

I'm speechless, Padrino.

This... this is an honor beyond my dreams.

What could I ever do to show you my gratitude?

Yeah, I oughtta!

Yeah? Huh?

Faster than you.

I saw you coming.

I'm standing here.

You make the move.

It's your move.

Huh?

You talking to me?

Are you talking to me?

I'm the only one here.

Who's there?

- Holly? - Yeah.

- You got a key? - Uh huh

Just a second honey... wait.

Don't come in yet.

One second.

All right.

You could come in now.

Hi, Loui.

Or should I say Vito?

Well, you can call me

Jaaack!

Happy anniversary, baby!

Oh, my god! My gift!

It's beautiful!

Just like you, doll.

Thanks.

Did you miss me?

Bunches and bunches.

Then why was you gone so long?

Well, you know, how mom is.

Yeah, well it's been a whole week

and you know how Loui is.

- Yeah. Horny. - Holly!

Well, ain't that why we's here?

Well, we're celebrating.

Yeah, I can't believe it, the same room.

It's so romantic.

Oh my god, it's really gorgeous.

But holy cow, Loui,

the desk clerk gave me such a headache.

When I told him I was Mrs. Scarpedicemente

- he looked at me like it didn't matter. - You what?

I told him you was registered here, and he told me it was a mistake

that there was no Luigi Scarpedicemente here.

And I told him that my husband specifically told me to meet him here,

that I was sure this was the place 'cause we was celebrating our anniversary

and this was where we consummated our love for each other

a year ago today

'cause we had just gotten married at a drive thru

'cause you wouldn’t lay a finger on me unless we were first joined together in holy matrimony.

Wh-You told him that?

Oh, come on, Loui,

everybody knows people have sex in these rooms.

No, no, you told him my...

real name?

But then it dawned on me you said you was using your alias,

so I pretended I made a mistake and that he was right

and that this wasn't the motel, but the one further down the highway

and I left and hid behind a car.

And when I saw the clerk leave and a woman was behind the register

I came in again and asked for Vito Andolini.

And sure enough, here you were.

I told her we were celebrating,

that I had champagne and a sexy nighty so we might be a little loud.

She was so nice she gave me the key and a do not disturb sign.

Well, why didn't you just come straight here?

Because you said you'd try to get the room

not that you had it.

And it would have been real scary if I knocked on the door

and some gross naked man answered.

Besides, I didn't see your car out there.

Well, I got a rental.

I wanna make sure nobody can trace us.

- What about Ricco and Rocco? - Nobody. This is our weekend and

I don't want nobody gettin' in the way.

Well, you don't have to worry about me, baby,

I made the cab driver take a lotta turns in case somebody recognized me

at the airport they wouldn't be able to follow me.

Atta girl.

Me too, I don't want nobody gettin' in my way.

In the way of what?

You'll see. It's a surprise.

Surprise, eh? And eh, where's the do not disturb sign?

On the door, what do you think?

How do I look?

You look like a million bucks.

Is this how much it cost you?

Nah.

Oh.

But if it did, and you wanted it, I'd get it for you.

You would?

I'd do anythin' for you, baby, you know that.

You would?

I'd die for you.

I love you, Holly.

What's the matter?

I don't think you're gonna like my surprise.

Hey, look at me.

Whatever it is, I'm sure I'm gonna love.

- And if you don't? - How could I not if it's comin' from you?

But if you don't, will you forgive me?

Holly, of course I'll forgive you.

Yeah? You mean that?

Worse to worse, we'll bring it back.

It's non-refundable.

Then I'm stuck with it. Now, let's see my surprise.

Uh uh. Not like that.

- The game? - Yeah!

Alright, who do you want me to be?

- I want it different. - You pick 'em, I'm him.

I mean a different kinda game.

I don't follow.

You know how you're always sayin' I'm not as wild as I was the first night.

Well, since we's alone and Ricco and Rocco ain't standin' outside the door

I'm gonna give you a night you'll never forget.

Oh, yeah?

Yeah. I was hot that night, huh?

Oh, you was hot alright.

Know why?

'Cause of this room?

Yeah, and...

'Cause I made you an indecent proposal.

An offer you couldn't refuse.

Holly: No!

It's 'cause you made me feel like I was in a movie.

Yeah, and I was Robert Redford

and you was Demi Moore.

No, that's not it.

But you still owe me a million dollars.

Hey, as long as I owe you, you're never gonna be broke.

Yeah!

So?

- What? - Well, why was it?

- What? - Why was you hot?

Oh yeah! 'Cause you was like James Cagney

the way you told Uncle Charlie "Look you-

Look you, I know you're in charge here, but this is my dame, see, and

she's not workin' for you no more.

No dame of mine's gonna work as a cocktail waitress, see.

Yeah! My first day at Lucky Charlie's and I hit the jackpot.

There you was telling the boss I was going to be your girl.

So you want me to be James Cagney?

And Uncle Charlie smiled and made the sign of approval.

Well, that wasn't a sign of approval.

He was tellin' Ricco and Rocco to follow us.

You don't say?

I thought Uncle Charlie took a likin' to me right away.

Of course he did.

I could've told the way his eyes were shinin'

it's like if he was givin' you away.

Then why Ricco and Rocco?

Well, they followed us on their own.

Why? Did I look scary or somethin' to 'em?

Of course not. You're too beautiful.

They just like doing things like that

you know, they like bein' around me. I don't know.

Well, they was real scary, chasing us all the way to the Hoover Dam.

Luigi: Yeah...

the Hoover Dam

ugly name but the greatest man made creation I ever saw.

You know how many people are buried there?

No, how many?

I don't know. But all that cement. Minchia!

It was a graveyard?

No. I was just making a joke.

Oh. Ha ha ha.

Anyway, it was so excitin'

you know, that's what made me fall in love with you.

It was like being in a movie.

Twins chasing us around, like they was trying to kill us.

I was so scared I got butterflies.

Well, 'cause of them?

No! 'Cause of you, silly.

-I mean, they're good lookin' and all- -Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

What do you mean by good lookin'?

I mean they're good lookin' guys.

What, you got the hots for them?

'Course not.

- So then what did you mean by that? - Nothin'.

Huh? Answer me!

Don't get obstreperous.

What?

- What did you say? - Nothin'.

What did you call me?

I don't know.

I don't like that

ostrich, hippopotamus... Oh, what is that?

Well, it's just that you're a good lookin' man

so you gotta hang out with good lookin' men.

'Cause if you was to hang around ugly guys, wouldn't that make you insecure?

You're right, they are good lookin'.

But not as good lookin' or smart as you, baby.

That's what gave me the butterflies.

When you parked at the lookout point and made us look like we was takin' a walk,

so they could follow us-

So we could steal their car.

We pulled a quick one on 'em.

And we almost got away with it.

Their car gave us up.

But not before I could make a big impression on you.

Oh, you did more than that, baby.

Yeah. I made you marry me.

You was too hot not to.

It was so romantic

a chapel weddin' with twins as your best men.

They both stood there cryin'.

They wasn't cryin' cause we was gettin' married,

they was cryin' cause I gave 'em shit for hot wirin' my car.

No kiddin'?

I thought they thought it was romantic.

Of course they did.

They really love you those guys.

Always wantin' to be with you.

You sure they won't figure out we're here?

Well, they’d never think we’d come back to this place.

You sure?

Hey, you said it before we all got looks but

I'm the smart one here.

Yeah!

Hey, ah, Holly?

What?

-What's with- -What?

Well... you unhappy or somethin'?

No.

I do somethin' wrong?

No.

Then what's with the reminiscin'?

Well, that's what couples are supposed to do on their anniversary.

- Yeah? - Yeah.

That, and have a lot of sex.

Oh, yeah?

Yeah.

Holly?

Yeah?

-Are you on- -What?

Is it, is it that time of the month?

No.

Well, you tired?

- No, I'm good. - You hungry?

No, I ate on the plane. What about you?

What?

Are you hungry?

No, I had lunch.

- What did you have? - What?

- What did you eat? - Baccalà.

What's that?

Minchia, Holly! After all this time you haven't learned nothin'?

What's the matter with you?

Well, you never tell me nothin', Loui.

You keep everythin' secret.

I have to learn things by myself. And it's hard rememberin' everythin'.

What secrets? I don't got no secrets.

Yes you do. And when I don't understand somethin' you snap at me.

- I didn't snap. - Yes you did.

I didn't! I-

I'm sorry, baby. I didn't mean to

it's just that...

well, I missed you so much and...

I guess I don't tell you very much, huh?

Is that what's botherin' you?

Yeah.

- Well, I'm gonna change. - You swear?

On the Virgin Mary.

Come on.

A baccalà is a fish,

it's a salty, ugly lookin' thing

but when you soak it in water cover it with flour

and deep fry it, it's...

Deep fried? Don't that give you heartburn?

Didn't that give you a china attack?

No, angina.

And yeah, it does.

But not the way Ricco and Rocco make it.

Oh, you was with 'em before?

Yeah, I had lunch with 'em.

Then we went to the hotel

I sent 'em out to do their rounds and gave 'em the slip.

Phwooo, you think they's gonna be mad?

Well what do you care if they's mad?

No reason.

But what is this with you and the twins?

-Nothin'. I just... Well don't worry about it, they have things to do

so the coast is clear, alright.

Good.

Baby, what's with you?

You said you was gonna be hot and you're all over the place.

You sure nothing's up?

Why would you think that?

Well, you don't look too comfortable.

Maybe it's the room, huh?

No, Loui, this room is perfect!

Yeah, maybe it was perfect for that night

but let's be honest

this place is a dump.

Let's go somewheres else.

What a dump! Hey what's that from?

"What a dump"

Well, how would I know?

Come on! Come on! What's that from?

What's that from? "What a dump"

Oh! That, that movie there something Wolf.

Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?

Yeah, that was a weird one.

Come on, let's play the game.

You think we'll ever end up like that?

Like what?

Like that couple in the movie, you know, always at each other.

Oh, no, baby.

We're in love.

Yeah, I'm sure they was in love too once upon a time.

Then she started cheatin' on him and stuff.

You think I'd ever do that to you?

You have nothing to worry about, baby,

you always know where I am.

Come on, let's play.

By the way, how's your mom?

Fine.

Oh, yeah, in case it comes up, ah

what did we get her?

Tickets to all the big shows.

Good.

Musta been nice seein' her, huh?

Yeah.

You musta had a lot to talk about?

Yeah.

You spend a lotta time together?

Uh-huh.

So why was you never there?

What?

Every time I called you at your mom’s, you was either in the shower, sleepin' or not there.

- What are you talkin' about? - Where were you, Holly?

Loui-

Why wasn't you there when I called?

I-I called you! You know where I was.

You called me. Why wasn't you there when I called!?

I- I was gettin' the tickets.

What? All over town?

Well, there's so many theatres

and in high heels you can't do 'em all in one day.

And every day I was so tired from all that walkin'.

You went to all the theatres?

There was 23 of 'em, Loui.

Why didn't you just buy 'em all in one shot online?

- You can do that? - Well, what do you think?

Well, what do you think?

You know, I'd never do nothing to hurt you.

You better not. 'Cause if you ever double cross me-

Why are you talkin' like that?

I'm sorry, I didn't mean that.

I'd die before I'd hurt you.

It's just that,

well, ever since you got here

you know, I, I feel you're at a distance.

Well I'm not at a distance.

I'm here with you.

And that's still no reason to get sore.

Don't you love me?

- Of course I do. - Then don't accuse me of things I don't do.

I don't ask you nothin'

and you're always goin' someplace. And always with the twins and they's bachelors.

- Yeah, but I don't cheat. - How do I know?

I just don't.

Whatever you say.

Hey, look at me.

I don't cheat.

You wanna know why?

You get cursed.

You do something dishonest like that

God makes you pay.

You ain't scared of superstition.

Oh, it ain’t just superstition. It's the law.

Whenever you do wrong without cause

it comes back to you.

You don't believe me ask the twins.

Ask 'em what?

Ask 'em about bein' dishonest to their wives.

They're married?

Past tense. Separated.

What happened?

Oh, I can't tell you that.

-But you said before- -Holly-

You swore on the Madonna!

Well, it's, it's embarrassin'.

You don't have to be embarrassed in front of me.

Oh, not for me, for them.

You don't trust me?

It's not that, it's just that, well,

if I told you, it'd make me a rat.

No, it wouldn't. I'm your wife.

Married people are supposed to share secrets.

- Yeah? - Yeah.

- You sure? - Oh, come on!

Oh, I don't know, it's kind of a long story

and you know, I wanna...

After. I promise.

Tell me this one thing, then we'll play.

The game?

Huh? Your rules, a night I'll never forget and all that?

I swear.

All right.

But don't ever repeat this to nobody.

Now, this is a true story.

Two weeks after Ricco and Rocco was married-

They married the same girl?

No, they each had a girl,

they was married at the same time.

Oh.

So, two weeks after they was married,

Ricco gets bored with the wife,

and heads off to Rio.

Naturally, Rocco tags along.

Now, they're at the hotel and before even checkin' in,

well Ricco spots this girl in a bikini outside headin' for the beach.

He chases after her.

Couple of moves here, couple of moves there,

blackjack, he's got her.

They go for a walk.

Now here's his mistake,

the dumb stronzo stops off at one of those food carts

and decides to down a couple of dogs.

Now everybody knows you never eat off the beach.

It's poison.

So he gets the girl on some rock or somethin'

and starts having sex with her.

Out of nowheres, well he starts feelin' this sharp pain in his gut

but he keeps goin'.

Now, I'm sure Ricco could've told the girl,

"Excuse me, but I gotta use the bathroom"

but when this mamaluke gets excited...

Anyways, in the middle of his lust,

and I think, I'm not sure

'cause, well, I wasn't there to bear witness,

but just before she reaches climax,

bada-bing!

What?

He goes on her!

What?!

Well, how do you say?

You can't say that he did it in his pants

but, you know, all over her.

Oh, my god!

Oh, I'm sure that's what she said.

Then what happened?

Oh, what happened was, Ricco starts laughing he and takes off.

What happened to the girl?

Oh, she was pissed or maybe I should say-

I get the picture. I mean what did she do?

Well, to make a long story short

Ricco goes back to his hotel room and finds Rocco sitting on a bed

with one side of his face red and in a total state of shock.

What happened to him?

Well, he was having a drink at the bar of the hotel and some girl went up to him and

slapped him right across the face.

Oh, no. You mean?

That's right! The same girl Ricco was just with.

She was stayin' at the same hotel as them.

Their whole vacation was ruined.

So you ain't gonna cheat on me 'cause you're scared of goin’ on some girl?

No, wait, there's more.

About a month later, Rocco's wife goes to the beauty parlor

and on the way back home well she files for divorce.

What happened to her?

It turns out that the girl in Rio was sittin' next to her

at the beauty parlor.

And she told everythin'?

Everythin'.

Phwooo.

Now do you believe in curses?

But wasn't it Ricco who was dishonest?

Yeah, but Rocco's wife don't believe him.

She tells Rocco the only reason why he'd go to Rio without her was to do somethin' wrong.

Didn't Ricco explain it to Rocco's wife?

Yeah, but she thought Ricco and Rocco was coverin' for each other.

What about Ricco's wife?

She left him too. Both wives didn't know who to believe.

Poor Rocco. Got divorced all 'cause of Ricco.

No, not divorced, just separated.

Rocco's still in love with her so he won't give her the divorce.

And Ricco, Ricco he just don't give a damn.

What a sad story.

Ricco and Rocco in Rio.

Sounds like a bad movie.

Ah, that's the way it is.

You do something dishonorable, you get cursed.

But Rocco didn't do nothin' why should he pay?

Well, since they's twins

when one does something it follows both of them around.

That's why they make sure they's always together.

So that's why.

Yeah, that and also 'cause I'm crazy about you.

No, I mean, that's why they's always together.

So?

So why are you always with 'em?

Huh?

Well, the twins are always with you.

So?

Is it 'cause you're scared they'll do somethin' wrong and it'll rub off on you?

No. 'Cause that's their job.

To be with you all the time.

- Yeah. - Why?

Well, that's-that's how our business works.

- I don't understand. - You don't have to understand.

Well, I should know what's goin' on in your life.

I already explained it to you

Uncle Charlie is very protective of his family.

Yes, I know, but...

do they always have to be with us?

I mean, they lived with us in New York, and ever since we moved back here,

they haven't left your sight. You said we was comin' back here so you could be an actor.

That bein' here was just temporary. That we was gonna go to L.A.

and you was gonna be on t.v.-

Well, that didn't work out yet.

Well, how could it? We've been here a whole month

and you haven't been on stage once. You're always with the twins.

Well, the plans have been delayed for a while, that's all.

Is somethin' goin' on, Loui?

What do you mean? Is something going on?

You don't trust me?

I do.

I just think you don't trust me.

You never tell me nothing.

And always makin' me knock on the door before I come into the room

you're in, like I'm... nothin'.

Come on, Loui. What do Ricco and Rocco really do for you?

Oh! Enough already. What are we doin'?

We gonna talk about the twins all day?

Come on, baby. I'm dyin' here.

Okay. But I want it to be perfect.

♪ Luck be my Holly tonight ♪

♪ Love my Holly tonight ♪

♪ Love, you stole my heart from the very beginning ♪

♪ I love my Holly tonight ♪♪

Oh, no!

- What? - I can't believe it!

What?

The champagne! My nighty! I must have left it all in the cab!

I'm so stupid! I ruined everythin'.

I bought all these special things for tonight and they's all in that bag.

Well, that's okay, baby.

The only thing that's special that counts is you.

- Really? - Would I kid you?

I don't know.

What do you mean you don't know?

Well, you keep secrets from me.

Again with the secrets, Holly?

Didn't I just tell you about the trip to Rio?

Yeah.

And didn't you say that right after this one thing we was gonna...

Yeah.

So, come on, baby, let's play.

Okay.

You want to play? Then let's play.

Now you're talkin' to me, baby. That I like. Keep it comin'.

- No, not him. - Who?

Make him Italian.

- Now you're talkin' to me, baby- -Too old.

Are you talkin' to me?

No! Somebody funny.

Oh! Okay, okay, I get it. I get- No, no, no, no, he's a clown.

- Oh, come on, who do you want me to be? - I want all of 'em.

Huh?

I want all of 'em in one.

I don't get you.

Who's the smartest, bravest, funniest, scariest, sexiest one of 'em all?

Me.

Yeah.

Me?

I want you, Loui.

You already got me.

No.

What do you mean, no?

I want the real you.

You're losin' me here.

I watch the movies. I know what you are.

What?

You're a gangster.

Yeah, James Cagney.

No, Loui. You're a real gangster. A mobster.

What the hell are you sayin'? Who you been talkin' to?

Nobody.

Then why're you talkin' like that?

You, you been talkin' in your sleep.

- What? - You toss and turn at nights sayin', sayin’-

Saying? What've I been sayin'?

- Things. - What things?

Things. Things that turn me on.

Huh?

You talk about money and deals

and once you even said somethin' about killin' somebody.

Oh, you're talkin' crazy, Holly.

I'm no gangster.

I'm, I'm just mumblin' somethin' out of some movie.

No you're not, it's in your own voice.

I know you're a big man, Loui.

I can tell the way people are scared of you.

Even in your sleep you're scary.

Some nights I get so turned on I wanna...

Minchia.

But Ricco and Rocco are always standin' outside

and I can't be as wild as I want.

Yeah?

Yeah.

Ain't you scared?

Yeah.

Why does it turn you on?

'Cause you're the toughest, Loui

and it makes me wanna overpower you, sexually.

No kidin'?

Would you let me, baby?

I promise, if you do you'll never forget it.

I want it to be crazy, Loui.

Well, wha wha what do you want me to do?

I want you to be bad.

Madonne, how?

Sit down!

Now tell me.

Tell you what?

Tell me you're bad.

I'm bad.

Tell me why you're bad.

I don't know, why?

You tell me, Loui. Turn me on.

'Cause, uh, people are scared of me.

Why are they scared?

Well 'cause I'm the boss.

How'd you become the boss?

Ma, what is this?

You said you trust me, show me.

I'm your wife, so no secrets.

I wanna know who I'm sleepin' with.

Holly.

Luigi: What are you doin’?

For every little thing you tell me about your big bad self

I'm gonna take a little piece of clothin' off.

And for every little piece of clothin' I take off

I'm gonna tie up a little piece of you,

and when I'm all done tyin' you up

I'm gonna nail you so hard

you're gonna remember this anniversary for the rest of your life.

When I'm through with you, baby,

all you're gonna think about is me.

Now you're talkin' to me baby.

That I like. Keep it comin'.

Hmm? My own voice.

Atta boy.

All right, all right. Where do I start?

From the beginnin'.

-Ok... I was 14 when- -No that's too young

alls you gonna get is a smack on the hand.

I wanna hear about the man things.

This is about me losin' my cherry.

I don't wanna hear about other women.

I'm not talkin' about women.

I'm talkin' about becomin' a man.

A big man.

Oh.

So here I am workin' in this cafe in Brooklyn-

Uncle Charlie's?

Let me go on, okay?

One morning, this guy walks up to my counter

and tells me in Italian

"Make me a latte, Luigi, and have somethin' for yourself"

Now, I know the regulars

and, well, I'm sure I never seen this guy before

so what's he doin' callin' me by my name?

I keep my cool, and I make his coffee.

So here I am heatin' some milk and thinkin' to myself

did the guys in the back notice him?

'Cause, you know, when these guys play cards

they don't hear nothin'.

When all of a sudden this stronzo slips away and starts headin' for the back.

I follow him.

Out of nowheres he pulls out a gun,

and me holdin' the container of hot milk

without hesitation throw it in his face jump on top of him

and BANG!

The bullet misses me by that much.

You was lucky, baby.

Oh, I was good, baby.

- Yeah, you creamed him. - You better believe it.

Your first kill.

No, no, I just wounded him.

Oh.

Then the guys came outta the back and they took over.

They did him!

I don't know.

Alls I know is that I had to keep my mouth shut.

That's when I got promoted.

To a gangster.

N- no, not yet.

Hey, wait a second.

What the hell is going on here?

Aren't you forgettin' somethin'?

What?

A little piece of clothin', yeah?

Yeah.

♪ Ta-da da-da-da ♪

♪ The minute you walked into Lucky Charlie's ♪

♪ Bam, bam ♪

♪ I could see you were a real good lookin' ♪

♪ big, bad gangster ♪

♪ Hey Scarpedicemente ♪

♪ Tell me about your big bad self ♪♪

Minchia, I like this game.

So tell me about raise.

So, here I am 14 years old

and makin' more money than half the grown ups.

You was robbing banks.

No, I was doin' errands.

Oh.

I was real important.

You know, I carried messages for the big guys.

They didn't talk on the phone like some idiots I know.

I scored big. Every time I delivered a message

they'd slip money in my pocket.

At the end of the day I'd have a fortune.

Well, that's not bein' bad.

Well, hang on, I'm getting there.

A few years go by and the family starts givin' me bigger things to do.

You know, they start sending me all over the city

with important messages for important people.

For the bosses?

Oh, we're talkin' big. We're talkin'

I'm dealin' with other families. Other parts of the city.

So one day after a drop off in the Bronx, as I'm heading for the bus I-

A bus?

Hey, it was the safest way to carry a package.

You get caught with somethin' in your car you're charged with possession.

A bus? You pretend it don't belong to you. It's a public vehicle.

Oh!

Anyways, so I'm heading for home

when all of a sudden I spot somethin' weird.

One of our guys was gettin' a shave at a barbershop.

He wasn't allowed to shave.

Sure he was.

But that shop didn't belong to the family.

So what's he doin' there?

- I don't know. - Up to something, that's for sure.

- So you iced him. - Oh!

My sweet angel

you can't go killing people off just like that.

Oh.

You gotta find out a few things first.

Like, who is he? What's he to the family?

Is he important?

Oh!

Now, here's the tricky part, you gotta learn this on your own

'cause if you rat on him and you're wrong, you're labeled.

Once a rat always a rat.

- You're no rat. - I'd rather be dead.

So this is what I do.

Without bringin' up names, I describe the situation to one of our heads.

Without askin' questions, well, he tells me to check it out

and if I'm right... use my best judgement.

So I did. And I was right.

He was double crossin' the family.

So I whacked him with a blackjack.

You hit him with a deck of cards?

No, no, a blackjack is a piece lead this big wrapped up with tape.

How big?

Well... This... big.

And you... ah?

Left him flat on his back.

Mmmmm... flat on his back, eh?

Yeah, but I shoulda killed him.

Yeah, you shoulda finished what you started.

Bingo!

So how's about we start seein' some flesh?

♪ Ta-da da-da da-da da-da da-da pom-pom ♪

♪ Do-ra ra-ra ra-ra ra ♪

♪ Hey Loui, Scarpe-di-cemente ♪

♪ Hey Loui, Scarpe-di-cemente ♪

♪ Go, go, go you mixed up Calabrese ♪

♪ You a sexy mobster who’s been eatin’ baccalà ♪♪

More.

More... yeah... more. Where was I? Ah...

Oh, yeah. Five years go by and I get a tip that this guy-

- What guy? - Well, Mr. flat on his back.

Oh.

So I hear this guy's got a mark on me

- You know, he wants to do me in. - Oh my God.

And even though it ain't my time, well, everybody knows this hit belongs to me.

- Did you do it, baby? - Well, am I still breathin'?

Yeah!

Now the thing about this guy is that, well, he's a made man-

Made man! Wait. What does that mean? That means that-

He belongs to a family. He's untouchable. Unless you get special permission.

Well, how can you be untouchable after what he did to the family?

Well, he wasn't with our family no more.

He was recruited by another family and worked his way to the top.

- So you needed permission. - Which I got.

- From the boss. - That's right.

- Uncle Charlie?! - Oh! That's not important.

The important thing here was that I was made into a soldier.

They made you go to the army?

No, no, no. Bein' a soldier means that you take care of people that fall outta line

and, ah, this guy... well, he slipped for the last time.

Tell me, baby. Tell me how you did it.

Knocked on his door, looked him square in the eyes and

blew him away.

Poof!

It's showtime, folks!

♪ Tada-dun dun dun dun tada-dun dun dun dun ♪

♪ They say, the neon lights are bright on Holly ♪♪

♪ Tada-dun dun dun ♪♪

You shoulda been a chorus girl.

Yeah, tits and ass.

So how'd that make you feel?

Great. Take off the rest and I'll feel even better.

No, I mean did you throw up or somethin'?

Huh?

Well, in the movies they say that after your first time you get sick.

Huh? Not me. Other guys, yeah. Me, I loved it the first time.

Yeah, it's best.

Then you keep doin' it and doin' it and doin' it 'til you get better and better.

'Til you become the best. It became my regular job.

I got the orders. I did the hits.

Minchia, this really turns you on, huh?

Mmmmm.

Well, let me tell you somethin', baby!

I became number one.

Then one day...

I get called down to the office and I get the biggest news of my life.

I was bein' made.

But, weren't you already made?

No. I was a soldier workin' my way there.

And all good soldiers get made.

Uh-uh. First of all you gotta be pure Italian.

Then you gotta get someone to sponsor you. Then you go through a ritual.

It's like a baptism. It's sacred. Holy.

And Uncle Charlie was your sponsor?

But, what is this with Uncle Charlie? I thought you wanted to hear about me?

I do. It's just that I'm trying to see it all like a picture, like a movie.

Well, never mind a movie.

This is me. This is real.

Okay, so bein' made gives you the power to do what you want.

Yeah.

Like, you could kill anybody without permission?

Yeah-No, no, no, no, no. Bein' made kinda protects you from bein' iced.

Y'know, they gotta get permission from the top.

And if you're valuable and liked, they'd never allow the hit to go through.

Oh! So you're sayin' that a made man can only be killed with permission.

That's right.

So you can do what you want and nobody can touch you.

Yeah...

Anyways, a few more years go by and

I become what we call 'The Specialist'.

Anybody that seems to be untouchable

becomes my problem.

So... I...

What?

I gets to whack a Fed.

Ohhh! I heard about that... what was that?

A long time ago In New York... an F.B.I. agent-

- That was me! - Oh, baby!

Smart guy, you know, he pretended he was one of us

but we caught whiff of him and

well I got the privilege of exterminatin' the rat.

Uhmmm.

Well, that shot me right up to the top.

- They made me a Capo. - A what?

A head. A chief. At 33

I was given permission to have my own regime.

Wow. You had a whole army to yourself?

Uh-uh. Just the twins.

Only ones I trust.

What about me?

Well, I'm lettin' you tie me up, ain't I?

Hmmm, yeah.

And now you're the boss?

Well, the underboss.

What's that?

The one the boss trusts the most. You know, the right hand man for the family.

Oh.

I'm like number two.

Who's number one?

- Well, the Don. - Who?

- Well, the Godfather. - Who's he?

The one gets the most respect.

When will you be number one?

Oh, well, well, I gotta wait 'til the Don retires or...

What?

Well, I don't like to say but, you know... passes away.

Oh.

Then I gotta pray he doesn't leave the dynasty to some clown.

I don't understand.

Sometimes you're promised somethin'

then you end up not gettin' it.

It's like a will.

You expect, you expect and at the end

you end up with a mouthful of hot air floatin' through your ears.

To me, Loui, you're number one already.

And with the twins as your right hand men

you're bigger than anyone I'll ever know.

So what does all this give us?

Respect.

Power.

Money.

No, money I get from the cement business.

That's all legit, you know.

That just makes you a regular Joe.

I don't wanna be regular.

I wanna be somebody.

Yeah, somebody bad.

Especially now that you have me almost naked.

What'd you got under that dress?

Skin.

Minchia.

What else?

What else?

Ah, what else, ah...

Let's see... ah...

Well that's it.

That's it?

Oh, come on, Loui.

One more piece of clothin'.

Well, what do you want to hear?

- Who's the Godfather? - Huh?

- Who gives the orders? - Oh, I can't tell you that.

You have to keep it secret?

It might be dangerous

you knowin' too many things about the family.

- Maybe for you. - I'm not kidin', Holly. You're my wife.

I don't want somebody wantin' to hurt you 'cause you know too much.

So who you gonna tell, Loui?

Your mistress?

What the hell are you talkin' about?

I already told you I don't cheat. I married you 'cause I love you

and I wanna spend the rest of my life with you

so stop with that!

Holly: You see it in all the gangster films

wiseguys keep their wives at home and have a mistress on the side who knows everythin'.

Well you watch too many movies.

- So don't keep secrets from me. - I'm not.

Come on, baby.

But you're my wife-

I wanna be more than your wife. I wanna be your mistress too.

You are. You're everything to me.

I wanna be more.

More, more, more. And even more.

Oh! Enough already. What are you doin'? Your drivin' me nuts.

Then tell me.

All right.

All right, I'll tell ya. I'll tell ya.

You wanna hear big? This is big.

You wanna know who's boss?

Me. Soon. Very soon.

The Don's retirin'?

I'm not waitin' for no Don to retire.

I started makin' moves on my own.

You know the rule about whackin' a made man?

Yeah.

Well today, on my own, without permission,

I gave the order to have a made man iced.

I had his feet cemented and dropped in the river.

Like a baccalà!

Yeah, like a baccal-

Hey, that's pretty good.

I'm learnin', I'm learnin'.

- Where? - Huh?

Where'd you drop him?

Oh, somewhere's not too far.

Oh, I. Know. The graveyard, the Hoover Dam.

Hey, you're really catchin' on.

I learn from the best.

The bestest guy in the world that takes care of all the bad guys.

You'd better believe it. Like this guy. He was a drug dealer.

And you know I don't go for that.

Remember that kid went to visit at the hospital?

Your Godson?

Yeah. Well, a coupla days ago, his father came to see me

and he begged me to do somethin' about the people that put him there.

But ain't he a lawyer?

Divorce lawyer.

So why didn't he go to the cops?

He did, but he didn't get justice.

That's why he came to see me.

So I did a little investigatin'

and found out that one of our own had his men sellin' drugs in schools.

That's awful.

Well, that's why they're sleeping with the fishes.

Wow, and you did it without permission.

Oh, I don't need nobody's permission no more.

I already got all the respect I need.

Ain't you ascared of the rules?

I ain't ascared of nothin'.

Not even the Godfather.

- Nobody. What's he done for me lately? - Nothing!

- So what do I need him for? - You don't.

-So I'm on my own.

- With the twins. - That's right.

- 'Cause they's the only ones you trust. - Only ones I need.

- And me. - And you.

So goodbye Godfather.

Arrivederci.

Hello Loui!

Made it to the top, ma!

So how're you gonna do it?

Huh?

How you gonna take over?

Well, I don't have to. It's happenin' by itself.

You know, people are comin' to see me. Ready to die for me.

Paisans are askin' me for services. Kissin' my hand, callin' me Godfather.

What does that make me?

It makes me a Don.

Don Scarpedicemente.

Don Scarpedicemente!

Jackpot. You got it.

Ka dink ka dink ka dink ka dink ka dink ka dink

Oh!!! Hey,

you'd better tie me up better if you don't want me to escape.

Oh, I don't think that's gonna hold me.

You shoulda brought handcuffs.

I did. They's in the bag I left in the cab.

I brought 'em for you, baby.

I knew this was going to be the night.

Well, where'd that cabbie go? Get him back here.

Ever imagine gettin' screwed with both hands tied behind your back?

Well, is there any other way?

The only way I could get screwed is if I was all tied up.

Get it?! Hmm? Get it?!

I get it. Do you?

Oooh, that's what I'm waitin' for.

Don't worry, baby, that's what you're gonna get.

Well, hurry up, you know, 'cause I'm really curious about how good I'm gonna be.

You know, a lotta guys are no good with two hands

imagine no hands.

Hey, Holly, there's this guy.

He's got no arms.

Walks into the bar and orders a shot of scotch.

Bartender gives it to him,

he leans over, picks it up and downs it.

Wow! They all go.

Goes into his pocket

takes out wooden match, strikes it on the counter

and drops it in the ashtray.

Goes in the other pocket,

takes out a cigarette and

lights it.

Wow! They all go.

What else can you do?

Got a dartboard?

Yeah, they say.

Take me to it.

They take him to the board.

Put a dart in my mouth.

They put the dart in his mouth.

Alright, he says

now throw the dartboard in my face.

Then what happened?

Well, that's it. That's the joke.

Huh?

Wha-They thought that he was gonna spit the dart at the board.

Ohhhhhh I get it!

You're so funny.

What do you mean by funny?

I mean you're funny.

How? Like I'm a clown? I amuse you? What?

Get the hell out of here! I thought you didn't want me to be this guy.

Funny, Loui. Funny like a clown.

FBI, you're under arrest.

Oh, oh, oh. I-I get it!

Jodie Foster, Silence of the Lambs. F-f-f-f-f-f...

No. Agent Catherine Hunter, Federal Bureau of Investigation.

Have the lambs stopped screaming, Clarice?

You have the right to remain silent.

Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law.

You have the right to an attorney.

If you cannot afford one, one will be appointed to you by the State.

Do you understand these rights?

Hey, that's pretty good. I-I got one for you too.

You have the right to get naked.

Anything you do to me can and will bring you to orgasm.

You have the right to moan and groan.

If you cannot for some reason, I will moan and groan for the two of us.

- Do you understand these rights? - I'm serious, Luigi.

So am I. And don't call me Luigi. It's very unsexy.

I'm placing you under arrest.

Well, you can arrest me as much as you want.

Just get rid of that stupid accent.

This is the real me Mr. Scarpedicemente, or should I say Luigi Calzolaio?

Hey, wait-wait a second. How do you know that?

I'm not kidding, Loui. I'm a special agent assigned to bring you and your fam-

Oh!!! Enough already.

What are you doin'? You're supposed to turn me on not off.

- I'm turning you in. - Yeah, into a frustrated husband.

Come on, Holly, let's get on with it.

That's exactly what I'm doing.

And it's Special Agent Catherine Hunter.

Oh. Not bad. Maybe I should get one too and we'll go scare the twins

and some of the others.

If you’re willing to confess about the others I'm sure we can work out a deal.

I'm impressed, Holly, and I almost believe you, and I really appreciate the effort

but it's not my kick. Let's try somethin' else.

This is it, Luigi. This is this.

This is this? What the hell is this-

Oh, I get it. Robert De Niro, The Deer Hunter.

"This is this" Well this is this too, Holly.

One shot. That's all I want. One shot for six hours.

You don't get it, do you?

We're not going to do anything except maybe make a deal.

This is a bust.

Hmm.

I'm a federal agent.

I've had you under surveillance for the past year

and you've just confessed to murder and your involvement with organized crime.

You're serious?

As serious as J. Edgar Hoover.

Damn!

Alright, alright, alright, Special Agent Hunter,

what's the charge? I didn't turn you on enough?

Oh, you turned me on alright.

You gave me more than I expected. I just need one more thing.

It's standin' here. You make a move. It's your move.

Luigi Calzolaio you're charged with the murder of Salvatore Serpente.

- Who? - Mr. Flat on his back.

Never heard of him.

How about Special Agent Anthony O'Hara a.k.a. "Tony the Tiger"?

Don't know him either-

Wait a second.

Wait a second.

What the hell's goin' on here?

You really F.B.I.?

Or are you just pullin' my wire?

Do you feel me tugging?

You said you was goin' to.

Don't count on it.

I thought we was playing the game.

- We are. My game. - I don't understand.

It doesn't matter, Luigi. You don't have to understand.

Just answer the question.

Anthony O'Hara. Red headed fellow. Irish-Italian. Was working undercover.

- Sounds like a rat. - Isn't that why you killed him?

I didn't kill nobody. You must have me confused with somebody in some movie.

No, I got the right guy.

I don't think so. I think you're makin' a mistake. A big mistake.

Are you threatening me?

If you are who you say you are then you know what I mean.

But if this is just a joke to get me going.

Alright. It was fun. It worked. But the game stops here.

Tell me something, Loui.

If I wasn't who I said I am, how would I know your real name

and the names of the men you've killed?

'Cause... ‘Cause I talk in my sleep.

- Oh, so you admit to everything? - No. No. No. I'm sayin' that you musta-

you musta heard me mumble somethin' outta some movie.

But you don't talk in you sleep.

So you made all that up?

About me bein' sexy and you wantin' to get on top of me and

and that thing you whispered in my ear?

How? You're my wife. How could you be a Fed?

- I'm a plant. - Since when?

Since we met.

That first night?

Even from before.

Before? I didn't know you before.

- I knew you. - But why?

'Cause you're dirty, Loui.

What are you talkin' about? I didn't do nothin'.

You just told me your whole life! Your rise to power

and when and how you got there.

I was playing the game.

I told you things you wanted to hear.

It was fun and games. That's what it was. You got nothing on me.

We'll see about that.

You're kiddin', Holly? Tell me you're kiddin'.

I wish I was 'cause I kinda like you.

That's right, you love me. You can't do this.

I have to to.

You took a year from my life.

Made me love you and now you're tellin' me you're gonna put me away?

You're joking, Holly. Tell me this is a fucking joke.

I'm sorry, Loui. It's no joke.

This is how we do things.

If I get outta this I swear to Christ-

Let's not become the animal we are.

You've always been respectful in front of a lady. Let's not lose the little good we have.

A lady? You, a lady?

I don't think so. A whore maybe-

Watch it, Loui!

Anything you say can and will be used against you.

What do you want me to say, Holly?

Bravo! Congratulations on your arrest.

You had sex with me for a year. And now this? All for a pay check?

That doesn't make you a whore?

Marrying you was the only way to get in.

I'm sorry it turned out like this, but we have to do what we do

to stop people like you.

That's right,

put your husband in jail.

Is that what they teach you in the F.B.I.?

Hey, wait a second.

What am I worried about? You got nothin'.

- I got a confession. - First of all, it's entrapment.

We'll let the judge decide that.

Second of all, you're my wife.

So?

You can't testify against me.

I'm not.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

I knew it!

I knew it! This is a joke!

Oh, you almost had me.

Oh, Loui.

Loui, Loui, Loui.

Well today, on my own, without permission,

I gave the order to have a made man iced.

I had his feet cemented and dropped in the river.

You been recordin' me?

And filming you.

Don't you know, Loui, you're the star of the new reality show

that gets viewed at that other great man made creation,

the J. Edgar Hoover Building.

You know how many people like you we bury there?

You filmed me?

A whole year.

That laminated picture I gave you of Don Corleone

the rose on his lapel is a camera.

- The one in my office? - It's the only time you talked.

- In my office!? - But you never said nothing.

In my house?! Where we sleep?!

You never even slipped up.

Tell me somethin',

who are you involved with?

What?

Oh, I know how it works.

I watch the movies too.

You're involved with your superior, huh?

This how he gets his kicks,

knowin' that you're gettin' it on with a real man?

There's no one, Loui.

You've been the only man in my life in years.

If the department knew we were sleeping together

they would have pulled me off the case.

They don't even know we're married.

Yeah.

And I'm supposed to believe you.

You was with him all week, wasn't you?

There is no him.

I was on the job.

-I went to Washington- -Ha!

You see, I was right.

You was never in New York.

I went to update your case.

Then I went to New York.

To see your mother.

- Is she for real? - Yes.

Alright, then let me call her up right now and see exactly how many tickets we got her.

What was it? 23?

She's been relocated.

Yeah.

You got an answer for everythin'.

Ask Uncle Charlie if I was in New York.

Uncle Charlie?

I got word in Washington that you and Uncle Charlie aren't hitting it off too well.

That you're planning a take over. And he knows all about it.

I wanted to know what he was up to so I "accidentally" bumped into him.

You want to know what he told me?

He told me that there'd been a change of plans,

that you couldn't call to tell me yourself.

He told me to stay in New York this weekend, that you had to go to L.A. for some audition.

Something to do with Paramount.

I checked it out. There is no audition for you.

He just wanted to make sure I wouldn't be around.

Around for what?

- What do you think? - A hit, Loui.

You're a marked man. Uncle Charlie's put a contract out on you.

I'm the only one you got.

I put my ass on the line for you, fought with my superiors.

Things are getting out of hand. It's getting too dangerous to be around you.

They wanted to pull me off the case, but I begged them for this last shot.

So here's your chance to do something right for a change.

Give up Uncle Charlie.

I'm offering you a deal.

Give me Uncle Charlie, and you walk.

And you don't have much time 'cause they're coming to get you.

Who? Who's comin' to get me?

Who do you think? Ricco and Rocco.

Oh, come on. There's no way in the world-

No? You were set up, Loui. They didn't fry your baccalà.

That scumbag's still alive.

Good, then that’s one less charge I have to worry about.

What you have to worry about is why they didn't they do it?

Who are the only people who knew about the hit?

Ricco, Rocco and the kid's father.

Now, you know the lawyer wouldn't have any reason to set you up,

so who's left?

Think about it, Loui.

You received the request two days ago.

How could Uncle Charlie put a a contract out on you so fast?

You're bluffin'. There is no contract.

Then why was I asking about the twins?

Why did I want to know if they knew where you were?

I heard the phone conversation.

Rocco was persistent about wanting to know.

If that doesn't tell you anything then I think you're lucky you lasted this long.

I don't care what you heard. I don't care what you're saying.

You can't convince me.

If you was smart and you said Ricco

I might've believed you. But Rocco too?

He'd never do it, Holly.

He'd never betray me. He'd die for me.

That's why he's gonna pull the trigger.

And he's got orders. Kill or be killed, isn't that how it works?

Snake eyes, Holly. You just crapped out.

They'd never do it.

I'm their best friend and their sponsor.

I made those boys. They love me.

They're Sicilians!

What's that gotta do with it?

Uncle Charlie's Sicilian. The family's Sicilian. And you? You're Calabrese.

I've known the twins for almost all their lives.

Grew up with them.

We've never even talked about what we was.

We're a gang of three. Like the three musketeers.

- But you're the leader. - So?

So how do you think that makes them feel?

They're working for Sicilian family and a Calabrese is giving them orders.

I'm sure they want to rise to the top too, someday.

So then why aren't they workin' for a Sicilian?

They are. They've been Uncle Charlie's boys from the beginning.

You're telling me that Uncle Charlie never trusted me?

No, Uncle Charlie only started worrying about you about a year ago.

You see, he really did want to make you the next Godfather

but wasn't sure you'd be able to run the business.

Especially knowing how much you want to be an actor.

He was afraid.

He figured he already had one clown in the family and was hoping you'd be the man.

Which brings us to me.

You?

Uncle Charlie put us together.

Huh?

That night we met wasn't by accident.

Uncle Charlie intended for us to meet.

That's why he gave me the sign of approval.

He was hoping we'd hit it off.

You and me?

A man without a wife can't run a dynasty.

Huh?

He thought I'd make you happy. Make you settle down, have a family, be responsible.

You?

Figured I was your type.

He also figured he owed me.

He'd be killing two birds with one stone.

Birds... stones... What the fuck are you saying?

You remember about 30 years ago

upstairs from the café you were working at, a woman was killed?

Yeah, well, I wasn't working there then but

I know the story.

Some broad was living there with her kid

one day, somebody went in and popped her.

Cops found the woman with a bullet in the head,

the kid hiding under the bed.

And Uncle Charlie just sitting there sipping espresso.

Said he hadn't heard nothin’.

Cops knew it was him, but they couldn't prove it.

Maybe the cops did it.

Last I heard, well, they kill people.

A year goes by and the kid's foster mom starts receiving money anonymously.

Not a lot, but enough to put the kid through school.

The kid grows up and

one day, coming out of Juliard,

a car pulls over and a man steps out.

It's Uncle Charlie. Offering his heart.

Says he's the one who'd been sending the money 'cause the mother had been his friend.

That he'd always be there if needed.

But the young actress remembers that voice.

So years later, she goes to see Uncle Charlie with an Academy Award performance

telling him she needs some money to get out of New York and start a new life.

The request is granted.

Five years later she returns as an undercover agent, trying desperately to nail Charlie.

But to no avail.

So she goes to him with another sob story and asks for a job.

Uncle Charlie makes her an offer she can't refuse,

on the condition that she never reveal her association with him.

Ironically,

he sets her up with one man that can give her the justice she deserves.

So... you're the kid.

And eh, well, you're sayin' Uncle Charlie

put us together 'cause what? He felt sorry for us?

He thought we'd make the perfect match.

'Cause I couldn't handle the dynasty on my own?

That's right.

Come on, he would've told me about you!

He didn't want my mother's murder linked to him.

He just wanted to stick us together, say three Hail Marys

and feel he's been forgiven.

Hey, Holly, look at me.

Conning is my business.

Oh, really?

'Cause you're so smart, Loui.

Oh, you are. You are!

You couldn’t figure me out for a year and you’re the con man?

What do you know?

I know you're a screw up.

I know you'll never be boss. You're not smart enough.

You're bringing your entire family down.

Because you couldn't fend for yourself,

Charlie had to bring me in.

Look at the mistake you caused the Godfather to make.

Yeah, well, what about you, eh?

Look at the mistake you're making.

I got you where I want, don't I?

And I'm the only one that could help you now.

So you'd better start talking fast 'cause Ricco and Rocco

are gonna come crashing through that door any minute now.

Alright. Alright, if you're so sure about the twins then why are we still here?

Huh? Why aren't we at another motel like I said earlier?

Wanna know why? 'Cause you're gamblin'.

You're bettin' I'm gonna fold on your bluff.

I want you under pressure.

I'll see your bluff and I'll raise you my guts.

This isn't a game, Loui.

I'm giving you your only chance to save yourself.

- What about you? - I've got a gun.

So what, you're gonna let me die?

I get no phone call? No lawyer?

I'm offering you a deal.

And I'm supposed to lay my cards down?

You lied to me for a year.

And now you're tellin' me you're gonna save me?

You're making this up because you think Uncle Charlie killed your mother.

He took care of you. And this the way you going to repay him?

He took care of me to redeem himself!

Maybe he did, maybe he didn't.

But what makes you think she didn't deserve it, huh?

Nobody never gets killed for nothing.

Maybe she was dirty.

Maybe she was a rat.

Maybe she was a- a whore just like you.

You're gonna pay for that.

Alright, I'm tired of this game.

Untie me.

Give me Uncle Charlie.

- Untie me. - Uncle Charlie!

Untie me!!!

Do you know me!?

You know who the hell I am!?

Yeah, Luigi Cement Shoes. Big, bad, Loui.

And don't you forget it.

Oh, I won't. But I think you did.

I don't forget nothin', Holly.

- Oh, yeah? - Yeah.

Well, Let’s see if you remember this movie, Mr. Calzolaio.

A long time ago

in a little Calabrian town called San Giovanni in Fiore,

a beautiful Sicilian girl, Rosa, was visiting family.

She fell in love with Miguele, the cobbler,

and against her family's wishes, she married him.

Rosa gave birth to a little boy,

and they all lived happy peasant lives.

When it was time for the boy to walk the five miles to school,

the family was too poor to buy much needed shoes for him.

So the father cut a tree down to make clogs for his son.

The boy's clogs were the pride of the family

the whole town praised Miguele.

Until the man who owned the property from which the tree was cut

approached him.

The man accused Miguele of disgracing his land, disgracing his name.

He would not tolerate a peasant stealing from him.

So to teach others,

he killed Miguele.

Rosa died slowly of a broken heart.

After her funeral,

a neighbor put her son on a plane to America.

It was known that Rosa's Godfather's son, Charlie, was very prosperous there.

When Luigi stepped off the plane everyone laughed at his wooden shoes.

Everyone made fun of the peasant boy.

Growing up, kids never made him forget the tree of the wooden clogs.

So Luigi vowed never to end up like his father.

People would fear him.

And as he grew older, he changed his name.

Your parents were good people, Loui.

And they were taken away from you

just like my mother was taken away from me.

You, of all people, should understand me.

So please, give me Uncle Charlie.

I'm asking as your wife.

I'll tell you what I'm gonna do,

I give you my word that if you release me

I'm gonna forget about the whole thing and you and me are gonna start over.

You're gonna quit the FBI and we're gonna-

You're forgetting one thing, Loui, Charlie wants you dead.

Well, maybe you got it all wrong.

Maybe it's a misunderstandin'. Why would he want me dead?

I don't wanna overthrow him.

I just want to get my own club.

Split the family and go into business for myself.

I want to be an actor.

I even did a little demo and sent it all over the city.

This time, I know for sure I'm goin-

But you gave the orders to kill a made man.

He's was scum, Uncle Charlie will understand that I had to do it.

You went over his head, you think he's gonna forgive you for that?

Yes, he'll respect my decision.

You broke the rules, Loui.

There's no way out of this except for what I've got to offer.

No, no, he-he'll take care of it.

He always takes care of things.

He's gonna see I don't want this life no more.

He's going to realize how much I want to be an actor

and he's gonna let me go, just like he did with Dominic.

Oh, come on, Loui. Dominic's good.

And you're sayin' I'm not?

Dominic proved himself.

He got up there and caught the eyes of Hollywood.

You're too scared. You backed away that night from your one shot to fame.

It wasn't me, Holly.

It was Uncle Charlie.

That night.

That night he came into the green room he says,

"Kid, this ain't your night

we're going to give it all to Dominic."

Ain't my night.

Ain't my night, Holly?

I would've blown Dominic off the stage that night.

I was ready.

You remember them earlier nights how I had them goin'.

Well, they was all laughing.

So what happens?

Dominic the clown gets a spot on SNL

and what do I get?

A couple of bucks and a one way ticket straight to Vegas.

It was Charlie.

He was like my father.

You know, he shoulda looked out for me instead of wanting to make me boss.

I'm sure he thought that's what you wanted.

You don't understand

I coulda had class,

I coulda been an actor,

I coulda been somebody.

Instead of a gangster which is what I am, Holly.

You don't have to be.

They sent me to Vegas! Just like they did Fredo!

Loui, do this. Loui, do that. Loui, go do the rounds.

Well, I don't want to end up on a boat with a bullet in my head.

So you know I'm telling the truth.

I don't know!

I don't know...

Start a new life, Loui. Get into the witness protection program.

No.

- Then you're going to die. - I'll take my chances.

- In a jail? Where they can get you? - They won't touch me.

Don't be stupid, Loui. Take my offer.

Uh-uh. They'll find me.

Five, ten years down the line, they'll find me.

What about Henry Hill, he wasn't found.

He even got famous for it.

Scorsese made the movie about him.

Maybe this is how you could finally be the actor you want to be.

He was lucky.

According to you I'm dead both ways.

So if I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go with my pride.

You people don't protect.

You just take what you need and you forget. You're just like us.

I don't think so.

Yeah, that's what you are

organized crime with a license to kill. Just like you're doin' to me.

It doesn't seem illegal, but it is.

You're settin' me up.

If I don't give you what you want,

I'll be killed. And you won't be the one pullin' the trigger.

You set yourself up, Loui.

- This isn't a conspiracy. - Well, then what is it?

I'm trying to save your life!

Oh, yeah, that's right.

You're the law.

You gotta do everything in your power to save me.

How does it go? "To serve and protect"

But when it comes to conspiracy, well, you make sure one of us gets the blame.

What the hell are you saying?

We're the bad guys, right? Huh?

But when you need something done well you buddy buddy with us.

Am I right or am I right?

Give me Uncle Charlie,

take out Fidel Castro, shoot J.F.K.

I think you watch too many conspiracy movies.

Ah, nobody knows.

Martin Luther King. 9-11. Nobody will ever know.

Youse are better at hiding stuff than we are.

When it comes to deceit and murder, youse make us look like cadets.

I think you got your facts a little screwed up.

Oh, yeah, right, "fake news".

Vietnam, Afghanistan, Iraq, Syria! What was that?

- That was war. - No, it was business.

Thousands of people was killed to make youse richer.

Let's be honest, Holly.

If youse were makin' money off of us,

we wouldn't be having this conversation.

We'd be makin' love.

I think you're losing it, Loui.

Everything's corrupt, Holly.

Everybody. Includin' the F.B.I.

Including you!

So what I want to know is

why is it that we do something

it's criminal.

When youse do somethin'

it's justice.

Can you tell me that?

Can you give me an answer?

‘Cause I really want to know.

Maybe we can fix it, hmm?

Sit down together and rewrite the law books.

We all play the same game.

Well, why don't we follow the same rules?

Please, Loui, don't get out of hand.

But it could never happen.

You know why?

'Cause you don't have the guts to be who you wanna be.

You need people like me.

You need people like me

so you can't point your fuckin' fingers and say there's the bad guy.

So?

What does that make you? Good?

You're no good.

We have no time for your games, Loui.

What about your game, Holly?

Huh, who do you think you are? Ness out to get the Untouchables?

I'm not playing. I'm going to get Charlie either way

so come back to reality and save your ass

or stay where you are and get a bullet in the head.

That's right, you want to make it real.

You want to turn this into a documentary.

Well, let me tell you something, baby.

Real life hurts.

And nobody here wants to get hurt, huh?

You know what I'm sayin'?

Let's not make it real, Holly.

'Cause you'll lose.

Here's your chance to get outta this.

All this was just another game.

I'm makin' you an offer.

So take it. Take it before it's too late.

No, Loui. I'm making you an offer. Your life for Uncle Charlie's.

No dice.

Don't make me do something I'll regret.

What are you gonna do, Holly?

Huh? Shoot me?

Huh, leave me tied up so somebody else can do it for you?

Put me in jail? What?

Whatever it is I'm gonna come out smellin' like a rose.

But you. You're a rat.

Shut up!

You're a Fed with a vendetta.

Shut up!

If you want him so badly, then why don't you just waste him?

'Cause I want him to rot in jail. I want him to live forever

locked up, scared, harassed and shamed to death.

Jail would be a vacation for him.

I don't care. I just want to get him!

At my expense!

You want me to rat on my family. I can't do that.

But for your godson you gave the orders to kill one of your own?

That's different. You don't sell drugs to kids.

And you don't leave a kid orphaned!

I'm your wife, Loui,

and all I'm asking you for is to testify that

Uncle Charlie gave the orders to whack Serpente and "Tony the Tiger".

That's all you gotta do.

That'll give him two consecutive life terms.

He'll spend the rest of his life in the can.

Would you whack a Fed for me?

That's different and you know it.

I ain't no snitch.

After that we can run off together. Start a new life. Make your dreams come true.

I ain't no rat.

Do it for me, baby. Show me you love me.

No.

Then do it for yourself. You don't want to die.

Nothin'! You got that! Nothin'!

You're gonna give me Uncle Charlie!

Va fangoul!

No you va fangoul!

Go to hell, you son of a bitch!

What!?

- What? - My heart.

It's not gonna work, Loui.

My heart. The baccalà.

I'm not gonna untie you.

You don't have to untie me... just-

- Don't play with me, Loui! - Just-

rub... my heart...

please...

It's okay, baby. It's okay.

Everything's gonna be okay.

I’m gonna call 911-

Academy fuckin’ award, baby!

Alright. Now untie my feet.

Now!!!

Atta girl. Now the other.

Come on. Come on!

Loui, please.

Loui, please.

Shhhh. Nice and slow, see.

That's the way to do it.

Nice and slow.

You crossed the line, Holly!

Huh? Huh?

You think you're big time? Well, you're gonna die big time.

All right. Huh? Where are your friends, huh? Where are the Feds?

- I'm on my own. - Don't move.

I said don't move!

I didn't move! I didn't move!

You're not so brave no more, huh?

I wasn't trying to be brave. I was doing my job.

Yeah, and without this you got nothing. Not even your job!

But with me, you could've had it all.

I never did nothing to hurt you.

I did what I did with the mob

but nothing that said I didn't love you.

You would've done the same if it was your mother.

I wouldn't have used you!

I would've found some other way.

I would've never done this to you.

I didn't mean to hurt you.

Do you know how I feel, Holly?

Do you know how small you made me feel?

Why didn't you just shoot me?

Why did you have to put me through this fucking misery?

Uncle Charlie...

That's right, you wanna nail him.

I just want him. Not you. I swear. I... I-

What? You love me?

Good, 'cause then maybe you can help me make up my mind.

Do I ice you or do I stay married to you? Which one of these?

We'll work it out, I promise.

You do somethin' dishonorable, God makes you pay, remember?

Look at me.

Look at me!

Do you want to fuck me?

What?

Well, that's a simple question.

Do you want to fuck me? Huh?

Let me ask you this, do you want to rape me?

You double crossed me.

And double crossing is a form rape.

Did you think you could get away it?

Did you think you could double cross me

Uncle Charlie, Ricco and Rocco?

That you could rape us and humiliate us and get away with that?

Give me an answer to that! Did you think you could get away with that or not?

And do not lie to me.

Do not lie to me.

What... you wanna kill me!? Huh? Go ahead.

Huh? I can't die!

I'm not real. I'm a fuckin’ movin' picture!

Do you want me to kill you?!

Do you want me to kill you?!

You shoulda stayed in your own world, Holly.

You woulda won an Oscar for sure.

You picked the wrong movie. You lose. The credits are comin' up.

And I'm the hero!

The good guy. You're the bad guy.

You're dead.

Go ahead, Loui. Pull the trigger.

But you'd better get out of here quick 'cause Ricco and Rocco are coming to finish you off.

What's the matter, Loui? Lost your nerve?

Maybe you want me to turn around so you can shoot me in the back?

Maybe you want to make a little phone call

get someone else to do your killing for you, huh?

What is it? You're not getting paid for this one?! Make it personal!

You're a murderer. You know how to pull a trigger.

Be like Uncle Charlie. Kill a woman and her baby.

Be a scumbag like your uncle!

What?

Go on! Get it over with.

- What did you say? - Shoot me!

No, before. Get up.

You said a woman and her baby.

So?

Did you mean you and your mom or-

What do you care? You're gonna kill me.

No. No, I'm not.

I'm hurt, I'm mad, but

I can't kill you.

Look at me.

I love you.

What did you mean by baby?

Nothing... I...

What?

I'm...

You gonna have a baby?

Well, that's terrific!

I mean, well, is it mine?

Okay...

it's mine.

I'm gonna have a baby. I'm gonna have ba-

I'm sorry...

I'm so sorry.

I love you.

I love you, too.

But we have to get outta here.

Are you sure?

Yes. Please, before it's too late.

Okay.

Holly!

Loui!!!

Loui!!!

Oh...

I'm sorry.

Loui, baby. Please, don't die.

I love you.

I love you bunches and bunches.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

You were right

I watch too many movies.

Yeah, hi

gimme Uncle Charlie.

Daddy... you was right.

Loui was a rat.

Well, let's just say there won't be no take over.

Daddy... you there?

Dimmi che ho fatto bene. Tell me I did good. Tell me you're proud.

Now do you see?

I wanna be more than your daughter.

Yeah, I'm sure.

Papa, are the twins with you?

Keep 'em there. They're in on it too.

Just gimme the word, Daddy, and they're dead.

Grazie.

I love you, Daddy.

I'm on my way.

Yeah,

it's me.

Listen, Joe,

I had to take Calzolaio out.

No, I'm okay.

Yeah...

Everything went awry.

I messed up.

I left everything I needed in the car, and...

well, he figured me out, and reached for his gun and...

he's dead, Joe.

No, no. I'm one step closer now.

I just called Charlie, he thinks I did for him.

He trusts me now.

Yeah...

the Lost Vegas

off the eleven, just outside Henderson.

We’re going to get him, Joe.

I believe in justice.

I believe in America.