Original subtitles

Hello, how are you doing?

Ben.

Everyone is waiting.

All right, all right, just give me a minute.

Don't take too long.

Some of our guests have come all the way from Polo Del Mar.

Pop, that's only 15 minutes away from here.

Polo Del Mar, Mexico.

What's wrong, Ben? You look worried.

Well, I guess I'm just...

Thinking about my future.

Boy?

Boy?

There you are.

Come on, let's shake a leg.

Come on.

Come on, go.

Welcome, everybody.

Thank you for coming.

Benji, I can't believe it's been four years.

You know, I still think of you as that little boy who used to smack his balls

into my yard.

Welcome home.

Thank you, Mr. Robinson.

Excuse me.

There he is, the scholar of Encino.

Tell me, that little orange number in the driveway, is that yours?

It's his graduation present.

It's my graduation present.

It's important. We call it the Puntang Magnet. Pop, please.

Ben, let me speak to you.

It's important.

I have one word to say to you.

Plastic novelties.

That's two words, Mr. Breverman.

Don't be fresh, son.

I'm revealing the future to you like Carnac the Magnificent.

So the future is plastic novelty.

That's right.

Listen, pretty soon, every woman's going to want to have her very own plastic

violin.

Oh, I see.

You can go to the bank on it.

Yes, sir.

To the bank, sir.

With two speeds, slow and fast. Kind of like the engine on your... Puntang

Magnet. You read me?

Puring Puntang Magnet. Yes, sir.

Loud and clear, sir.

Excuse me. All right.

Yeah, my family had a...

Oh God.

Oh God. Oh God.

Oh God.

Oh God. Oh God.

Oh God.

Oh God.

Perhaps you should have joined the priesthood instead of the Ivy League,

Benjamin.

Mrs.

Robinson. You've grown.

Are you looking for the bathroom? Because it's right down the hall. No, I

what I was looking for. A little peace and quiet.

You look upset.

Well, I'm a bit overwhelmed.

You should feel quite comfortable in your old room.

Well, you can't go home again.

Where do you think you are then, Benjamin?

Oh, I was just quoting Thomas Wolfe.

What did you major in?

World literature.

Oh, like Jacqueline Suzanne.

No, deeper.

Yes, deeper.

Well, I mean, important literature with big meanings and metaphors.

Metaphors?

Perhaps like an aquarium that stands for the...

suffocation of the soul and the inability to remove oneself from a dire

predicament, which is crystal clear to those from the outside.

Oh, no, no, that would be too obvious.

Not to mention highly pretentious.

I need you to give me a ride, Benjamin.

I don't want to drive.

I like a man behind the wheel.

You're a man now, right?

I think you just ran a red light.

I'm just having a little hard time concentrating.

You mean you're worried about your future?

In a manner of speaking, yes.

Almost there.

You have no idea.

I like your car. It's sort of...

Poon -tang magnet, like my pop would say.

I was going to say, it's a smooth ride for such a... I don't know, whatever it

is.

Well, I'm so sorry, Mrs. Robinson. I didn't mean to offend you. That was

rude. I apologize.

Don't give it another thought.

My parents got it for me as a graduation gift.

Oh, you don't say.

Here you are.

Safe and sound.

Good night, Mrs. Robinson.

Well, stay, Benjamin.

Have a nightcap.

Oh, I really have to go.

What's your poison?

Scotch.

Funny, you look like a bourbon man.

You know, on second thought, Mrs. Robinson, I'll take a rain check on the

but I thank you. That's very kind.

I should probably... Benjamin, do me a favor and unzip my dress.

It's hard for me to reach.

I can't do that, Mrs. Robinson.

I've told you you're a great athlete in school. Did you damage your fingers

somehow? No, I mean it wouldn't be right.

Of course it's all right. Don't be silly.

Benjamin.

There you go.

And this bra.

It's such a bother.

You don't mind, do you?

No.

You do know how to unhook a woman's brasier, don't you?

Yes, of course. Of course.

Right.

What's the matter, Benjamin?

You're trying to seduce me, Mrs. Robinson.

Aren't you?

No, I hadn't thought of it. What on earth would make you say that?

Just a wild hunch.

You're letting your imagination get the best of you, Benjamin.

Oh, Mr. Robinson, please forgive me. I've made a terrible fool of myself.

I should really go.

Oh, Benjamin, would you be a dear and apply some lotion?

My skin gets terribly dry this time of year.

What?

I'm going to get going, Mr. Robinson.

It's in Elaine's room.

Are you absolutely sure you're not trying to seduce me, Mrs. Robinson?

Nonsense. You're half my age.

Elaine.

You haven't seen her since junior high.

She's beautiful.

As innocent as she's beautiful.

I intend to keep her that way.

Mm -hmm.

Oh, good evening, Mr. Robinson.

Freshen that up for you?

I really have to go. Ice.

Okay.

Benjamin was kind enough to give me a ride.

No, I swear.

Home from the party.

Exactly.

Benjamin was just leaving, weren't you, Benjamin?

Yes, so thank you, Mr. Robinson. Thank you, Mrs. Robinson, for your

I'll go now.

Take it from me, Ben.

You need to relax a little bit before you leap into the great big world of

responsibility.

Have a few flings.

Sow a few wild oats.

Yes, sir. Sow the wild oats.

I bet he's quite the ladies' man, dear.

Don't you think?

Yes, indeed.

Drink up, Benjamin.

It's strong.

Traveling away on a path that I never wanted to have a deal.

Now I'm in a show that we didn't even know was over.

We've been in line.

It's been so long.

Broke down the line.

I'm there.

There'll be plenty tomorrow, I swear.

Would you fall down?

Would you cry?

I love you.

I love you.

Mmm.

Fuck me.

Give it to me. Give it to me.

Thank you.

Have any of you guys seen Parker?

Parker! You talking about Parker Cameron?

Yes, he's the only Parker here, but you already knew that.

Rack him again, dude. I'll be right back.

Rack him on the rack.

Thanks for the help, gentlemen.

I guess I'll just find him myself.

Hey, Parker, your boyfriend's here.

Oh, Elaine, it's great to see you. What brings you here?

Aren't you going to invite me in?

Of course I am, of course.

Come in, come in.

It's so great to see you. I'm wondering what brings you to this side of campus.

Do I need a reason? I just thought you'd be glad to see me, that's all.

Well, of course I'm happy to see you. It's wonderful, but actually... I have

go to the bathroom.

I actually... What you need is quite a proper kiss,

that's all.

No, what I really need is to go to the little girls' room.

Actually, no. Actually, no. You don't want to go in there.

I don't think you do. No, you do not want to.

What on earth are you doing?

Contact line?

Is the special guest ready?

Can we please talk about this in private for a minute, Dad?

Hurry out here, boy, before you turn 22 years old. Come on.

All right, everybody, attention.

Attention. Attention.

I'd like to present to you the winner of the Thurston Howell III Intramural

Sports Award.

the Rings Fellowship, and the coveted Fishbine Scholarship for Outstanding

Scholastic Achievement, Benjamin Bradcock.

Doesn't he look great?

The scuba outfit is our birthday present.

Yeah, when I was 12.

Waste not, want not, boy.

up the bench.

Here you go, Benji. Your keys are in the pool.

I want to see you go down again, Ben.

Double for you, Murray.

Hello.

Mrs. Robinson.

Benjamin. Well, gee, I sure am glad you picked up the phone.

My pen just ran out of ink.

Yes, I'm at the Royal Crown on Sunset Boulevard.

I was wondering if perhaps you'd like to join me for a drink?

Well, that sounds fun.

Benjamin.

Mrs. Robinson?

Benjamin?

Are you here for an affair, sir? What?

The Shriner's affair. It's a perennial thing like daffodils.

Oh, I'd just like a room, please.

Would that be for the quarter hour, for a half hour, for a full hour?

Don't you rent anything for the entire evening?

Oh, of course, sir. We have our honeymoon suite. Well, then I'll take

the hour, then.

Although we... I'll probably need a little more time than that.

American Express?

Discover?

Sorry, no, sir.

Visa?

MasterCard? Traveler's check?

Best Buy gift card?

This is a cash -only establishment, sir. It'll be $65.

Of course it is.

Oh, plus 12 .5 % state tax.

And $10 for turndown service.

Oh, and $16 .50 for the piñata.

The piñata.

It is the honeymoon sweet, sir.

Would you please sign the registry, Mr... Tilke.

You know, Mr.

Rumpelstilke, you're a keeper.

Thank you.

Benjamin, what kind of woman do you take me for?

Why, a very...

Desirable and attractive woman, Mrs. Robinson. Why would you bring a

attractive woman to a horrible rat's nest like this?

Well, nice hotels are really expensive, and I don't even have a summer job.

Well, you do now.

Next time, I'll treat.

Provided you live up to expectations.

Now, be a dear and get me a hanger.

Wood or wire, they have both.

I always prefer wood.

Definitely wood. Definitely wood.

Oh,

I'm sorry.

It's okay, Mrs. Robinson. I'm just... I'm very nervous, and...

I don't know what you want me to do.

Just watch for now.

Do what comes naturally.

You're not wearing any panties, Mrs. Robinson.

Oh, God.

Oh, God.

Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, Christ.

Oh, God.

Oh, Christ.

Mrs. Robinson, I can't do this.

What would my parents say?

What would your husband say?

He told you to spill some wild oats and have a fling, didn't he?

Yes, but surely he didn't mean with my chap and your wheat.

Benjamin, can I ask you a question?

Certainly.

Are you a virgin?

Well, that's a gasp. That's a huge laugh. Why would you say something like

to me?

Just a wild hunch.

Thank you.

Well, well.

Look at the lazy wise guy.

Are you going to spend the whole summer sipping on gin and frescas and working

on your tan, or are you going to make something of yourself?

Pop, I just graduated a week ago.

Excuses, excuses, flyboy.

You need to stop planning for the future. A wife, a family.

Now, I happen to know for a fact that Elaine Robinson is coming down from

Berkeley this summer. I want you to take her out.

That's not good.

Not profound.

So you take some shit up the ground.

And just now, Never tell.

Beg me to watch your fingers.

Want to be your own special friend.

Here's a tip for your future love.

Something you should know.

I'm taking out Elaine.

My parents set it up. I had nothing to do with it. No, Benjamin.

If not, I'll take out Elaine. Do you understand me?

Yes, yes. I think you've made your point.

I don't know.

What am I doing?

Wait, wait, wait.

Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

I feel it. I don't have to fucking look at it.

Can I rub your clue? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah,

yeah.

Yeah,

let me feel all that fucking cock then.

Mm -hmm.

Mm -hmm.

Like that? Yes, yeah.

Oh, my God.

Mm -hmm.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

with a dick in my ass.

Squeeze my balls.

Yeah, squeeze them hard.

Your date's here!

Hello Elaine.

Hello Benjamin.

Let me press the network for you, dear.

Now kids, I want you to have fun. Off you go.

But be careful, sweetie.

Ben's a real ladies' man.

foreign foreign

Why on earth did you bring me to a place like this? Oh, you're going to love it.

It's the best floor show in town.

The best whorehouse in town?

Well, yeah, that too, probably.

I could barely breathe in here.

Oh, here.

Have some of this drink. It'll help your throat.

Gee whiz, would you look at her.

That girl's got talent.

I think she was in my 12th grade biology class.

So, you just graduated, right?

Uh -huh. What are you going to do now?

I'm going to order two more rounds.

No, I mean, it's your future.

I'm going to find a hotel that accepts my dad's American Express card. I don't

understand why the hell everyone's so concerned with my damn future.

I'm getting dizzy.

Dizzy Lizzy. Dizzy Lizzy. That's what Lizzy left with.

Say, Liz.

Say.

Oh, long time no see.

Um... Bev Bradcock?

From Great Biology?

Oh, right, of course, yeah.

Benny.

Benny?

She means Benji. Benji. But it's just Benjamin now, Liz.

Uh -huh.

Hey, listen.

My set's almost over.

Why don't you come into the back and we'll catch up on old times.

Old times?

It smells in here.

The maid's day off, honey.

Oh.

So, Benjamin, what have you been up to?

I just graduated from Harvard. Summa cum laude.

No kidding.

Cum laude -er, huh?

So do I.

First date?

Last one, too. Parents fix us up.

I'll bet she's still a virgin.

You're still a virgin, honey.

No, I'm a freshman. I go to Berkeley.

Does that hurt when you do that?

Only when I breastfeed.

Well, you don't have a pair of knockers like Lizzie here, but try one on. It

might fit.

Benjamin Bradcock, you wouldn't catch me dead in an awful thing like that.

Your date here, Benji. Elaine.

Elaine.

She sounds like a real prude.

I'm not a prude. I'm a liberated woman.

I'm just not a... Just not a what?

Just not a whore?

Unsophisticated is the word, I think.

You think?

She thinks.

Just what do you think about, Elaine?

I don't think about things I don't think about.

Benjamin, let's get out of here.

What's the rush?

Wait, Elaine.

Elaine. Hey.

Hey, the lady.

Of course.

Here you go.

You look great.

Pick it up.

Pick it up.

I like an audience

Yeah, I

know my girl

Ah.

You like dirty little horns, don't you?

You like to bounce, huh?

I like to bounce, too.

Oh, yeah. Oh,

my God. Fuck you.

Fuck you, bitch.

Oh, my God.

No.

You let me down. You let me down. Come on.

Come on.

I'm coming.

You let me down. You let me down.

You let me down.

Carter, come on, get your fucking stuff.

Yes, I love that.

Get your fucking stuff.

Get your fucking stuff.

Fuck.

Fuck.

Thank you.

UGH!

Hey, she comes again and again

When rivers run and dreams feel no pain

She will come again

Until she is satisfied within

She comes again Her body's restless She won't sleep

tonight She comes again

And she will take you through the night

But

soon

She must go.

The morning comes as the night turns old.

Hey, she comes again.

She'll leave for now, but she'll return.

I don't want you to ever see her again, do you hear me? I can make this very

uncomfortable for you.

I'd say it's gotten uncomfortable enough, wouldn't you?

To keep you away from my daughter, I'm prepared to tell Elaine everything.

What, even the fact that my thumb up your ass makes you climax harder?

Are you mentally retarded, Benjamin?

Well, gee, you know, sometimes, Mrs. Robinson, I wonder if life would be

if I was.

I can't believe you would do something like that.

Try me.

Ben, what are you doing here?

Probably about to make a much bigger mistake than majoring in world

I think.

What in heaven's name are you talking about?

Remember what I told you about during the montage?

What, about that silly affair with the married woman?

Bingo.

That doesn't matter to me at all, sweetheart. That's all in the past.

Wait. You pwned my boyfriend?

You?

You had sex with my mom?

Elaine, I'm so sorry, and I can explain everything, okay? It's not what you

think. Get out!

Please. Get out!

They're an ignorant prick.

And you're a world -class cunt, Mrs. Robinson.

A world -class cunt!

Yes, I was, but why do you care?

I left something on that thing right there.

Could you throw it back to me?

Are you out of your fu -

Thank you.

Thank you.

Cause it's like talking to a monkey's back. Yes, I was, but why

do you hate it?

I have some pain on that thing.

What pain?

Do you need diet?

Could you throw?

It's a goldfish, sir. Well, I can assure you it's not going to be a problem.

Where does it go to the bathroom?

In the bowl.

What do you do with the water?

I clean it out every couple of days.

Where do you throw it?

I don't want you to throw it in my sink, and I certainly don't want you to throw

it anywhere in my place or in my land. Go to the next door neighbor or the park

across the street and dump the water. You promise?

I promise, sir. No animals and no women in the room.

Okay. But the goldfish is fine.

Thank you, sir. Okay. I

think

your hubby loves his putter a bit too much, if you know what I mean.

Spending so much time on the fairway isn't so fair to you.

That's sweet, but Murray has his games and I have mine.

What do you mean?

We're both adults here.

I don't think I even want to know what you're talking about.

We live in the suburbs, not a jungle.

Mary, and you act like it's still 1952.

What exactly are you talking about?

Fun.

Fun? The kind of fun that you consenting adults have in the privacy of their own

backyard after a few cocktails kind of fun.

Marion, don't get your knickers all in a bunch.

Leave my knickers out of this.

I really wish you would.

Stop. You're embarrassing me.

I'm not an elite bit embarrassed.

I don't know.

I bet

you want to escape this doctor

Rub your legs together rub your legs together

Here, spread your legs.

Oh,

that's

so pretty.

You're a whore.

Put your knees together.

Oh, show me that funny little pussy.

Spanking on that naughty little pussy?

Beg me for it.

What? Spank me. Oh, please spank me.

I'm fucking right.

I'm fucking right.

I'm fucking right.

Take a taste.

Yeah. Is that what you want? Yeah.

I don't know how I deserve it.

Stick

that

tongue up in there.

Oh, fuck.

Is that the best bet you've ever had?

Mm -hmm.

Thank you.

Elaine. I heard you've been looking for me. Where'd you hear that?

Aside from the janitor, you've asked everyone on this campus.

How could you do it, Ben?

Elaine, it's not what you think.

Are you going to try to sit there and tell me that you didn't get my mother

drunk and take advantage of her in the backseat of your fucking car at the

-in movie theater?

Is that what she told you?

Really? Wow, that's a great story.

First of all, look, I would never do that.

And secondly, I happen to know that's where you were conceived.

Okay?

Right smack dab in the middle of a double bill between House of Wax and

from the Black Lagoon.

How do you know where I was conceived?

Our parents were on a double date that night.

I love you.

I want to marry you.

Marry me, Elaine.

We could do it tomorrow.

I... I can't.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh, yeah.

Oh.

Oh, God.

Squeeze those balls. Squeeze them hard.

Elaine Robinson, open this door immediately.

Who's that?

It's Parker.

Who's Parker?

The one I told you about during the montage.

My boyfriend.

What?

Parker. Elaine.

What do you want? How did you know where to find me?

Seems to me everybody on campus knows your whereabouts.

And I found it a little bit inappropriate for you to be in a strange

this late at night.

Ben is not strange. He's an old friend from our neighborhood, Parker.

Well, not like weird strange. I mean like stalker strange.

Don't be silly.

He's just helping me study for my finals, sweetie.

Final? Didn't the semester start just a couple of days ago?

Yeah.

Haven't you ever heard of a thing called jumping ahead? It's good to get an

early start.

You should know that.

Just saying my goodbyes, sweetie.

Are you ready to go, Park?

Sure. Okay.

Toodles.

You disgust me, Benjamin Bradcock.

Sir, my wife told me everything.

Every disgusting little detail.

Don't bother denying it.

You've defiled the two things closest to my heart.

Apparently that's not enough.

I hope you go blind, you lousy scumbucket.

And another thing.

Stay away from the two of them, or I'll have you arrested.

Elaine is going to be married in the morning, and you will die in jail with

hairy palms and blind as a one -eyed bat.

What?

Married?

Yes?

I want you out of here. What? You deviant. You communist.

I want you out of here. Well, where will I go? You and your fish. I want you out

of here. In 30 minutes. You understand me?

Out!

Out!

Can anyone tell me where Parker's getting married?

In church, Doc.

I thought he was Jewish.

I thought he was gay.

He is gay.

I can't be getting married. Parker who? The Parker that's supposed to marry

Elaine Robinson.

Where? Where can I find her? I'm supposed to be there. Elaine Robinson?

Yes. The one with the really great butt with the freckle on the left butt cheek?

Yes. Hey, what? How do you... Come on, guys.

Where do I go? There's a church up the street, man. You might want to check

there. Big temple.

Can't miss it. How many blocks?

Go out and make a right. Okay. Well, thanks, fellas. You've been a great

Happy Braille!

Who is that guy?

Do your lawfully wedded husband have to hold for this day forward?

I do. Do you, Parker Stevenson, take Elaine Robinson to be your lawfully

wife from this day forward to have him to hold?

I do.

Now, by the power invested in me, I now pronounce you man and wife.

You may salute your bride.

Thank you.

Benjamin, I just have one thing to say.

Plastic novelty.

I suppose, but that's just dancing.

So until then, here's a song for someone.

And I know what you're thinking.

The waiting time and all the things.

The pain can't be that amazing.

It's not.

Oh, how about next time?

It's all thinking to you. When your dick is in your hand.

The making is wild.

you know