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Let's kick things off with something
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Let's kick things off with something
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Let's kick things off with something
uplifting. The Winter Olympics are
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uplifting. The Winter Olympics are
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uplifting. The Winter Olympics are
underway. And if there's one thing I
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underway. And if there's one thing I
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underway. And if there's one thing I
love, it's those post victory interviews
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love, it's those post victory interviews
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love, it's those post victory interviews
where medal winners from around the
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where medal winners from around the
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where medal winners from around the
world just radiate pure joy. I can't get
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world just radiate pure joy. I can't get
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world just radiate pure joy. I can't get
enough of it.
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enough of it.
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enough of it.
>> Congratulations so much on Olympic
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>> Congratulations so much on Olympic
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>> Congratulations so much on Olympic
bronze. How are you?
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bronze. How are you?
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bronze. How are you?
>> It's been the worst week of my life.
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>> Okay. Little less joy than I expected.
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>> Okay. Little less joy than I expected.
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>> Okay. Little less joy than I expected.
Uh that was Norway's Sterling Home
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Uh that was Norway's Sterling Home
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Uh that was Norway's Sterling Home
Lagard who won bronze in the bialon, but
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Lagard who won bronze in the bialon, but
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Lagard who won bronze in the bialon, but
he got a bronze. I mean, I know it's not
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he got a bronze. I mean, I know it's not
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he got a bronze. I mean, I know it's not
gold, but it's still bronze. So why is
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gold, but it's still bronze. So why is
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gold, but it's still bronze. So why is
he so upset?
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he so upset?
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he so upset?
>> Half a year ago, I met the love of my
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>> Half a year ago, I met the love of my
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>> Half a year ago, I met the love of my
life, the world's most beautiful, finest
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life, the world's most beautiful, finest
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life, the world's most beautiful, finest
person.
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person.
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person.
And three months ago, I made my biggest
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And three months ago, I made my biggest
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And three months ago, I made my biggest
mistake, which was cheating on her.
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Okay. Uh, not how I would have
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Okay. Uh, not how I would have
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Okay. Uh, not how I would have
celebrated in a postgame interview.
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celebrated in a postgame interview.
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celebrated in a postgame interview.
I would have gone with a thank you mom
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I would have gone with a thank you mom
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I would have gone with a thank you mom
and dad or a thank you God. But, you
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and dad or a thank you God. But, you
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and dad or a thank you God. But, you
know, instead you went with guess what
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know, instead you went with guess what
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know, instead you went with guess what
world, I can't keep it in my pants.
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world, I can't keep it in my pants.
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world, I can't keep it in my pants.
Got to say, buddy, buddy, there are
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Got to say, buddy, buddy, there are
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Got to say, buddy, buddy, there are
other ways of dealing with your guilt.
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other ways of dealing with your guilt.
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other ways of dealing with your guilt.
How about, I don't know, flowers, an
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How about, I don't know, flowers, an
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How about, I don't know, flowers, an
edible arrangement, or burying the shame
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edible arrangement, or burying the shame
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edible arrangement, or burying the shame
deep inside you and letting it fester
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deep inside you and letting it fester
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deep inside you and letting it fester
until it explodes in a public meltdown
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until it explodes in a public meltdown
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until it explodes in a public meltdown
in the freezer section of Trader Joe's.
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in the freezer section of Trader Joe's.
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in the freezer section of Trader Joe's.
I need A PIZZA FOR ONE BECAUSE I RUINED
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I need A PIZZA FOR ONE BECAUSE I RUINED
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I need A PIZZA FOR ONE BECAUSE I RUINED
THE BEST THING THAT ever happened to me.
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THE BEST THING THAT ever happened to me.
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THE BEST THING THAT ever happened to me.
And by the way, if I was listening
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And by the way, if I was listening
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And by the way, if I was listening
closely, did I hear that right? That you
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closely, did I hear that right? That you
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closely, did I hear that right? That you
met her six months ago? I mean, you guys
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met her six months ago? I mean, you guys
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met her six months ago? I mean, you guys
weren't even dating long enough to fart
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weren't even dating long enough to fart
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weren't even dating long enough to fart
in front of each other.
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in front of each other.
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in front of each other.
You are still in that honeymoon phase
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You are still in that honeymoon phase
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You are still in that honeymoon phase
where you pretend you need something in
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where you pretend you need something in
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where you pretend you need something in
the other room and go fart there.
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You know what? You know what? If
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You know what? You know what? If
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You know what? You know what? If
repairing your six-month situationship
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repairing your six-month situationship
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repairing your six-month situationship
is that important, I guess it's fine to
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is that important, I guess it's fine to
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is that important, I guess it's fine to
hijack the news cycle to talk about it.
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hijack the news cycle to talk about it.
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hijack the news cycle to talk about it.
I'm sure your your teammate who won the
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I'm sure your your teammate who won the
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I'm sure your your teammate who won the
gold had nothing more important to draw
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gold had nothing more important to draw
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gold had nothing more important to draw
attention to.
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attention to.
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attention to.
>> And it was an emotional win for Norway's
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>> And it was an emotional win for Norway's
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>> And it was an emotional win for Norway's
Johan Olton in the men's 20 km
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Johan Olton in the men's 20 km
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Johan Olton in the men's 20 km
individual bathlon. The Norwegian
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individual bathlon. The Norwegian
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individual bathlon. The Norwegian
dedicated it to his late teammates who
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dedicated it to his late teammates who
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dedicated it to his late teammates who
died unexpectedly in December.
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died unexpectedly in December.
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died unexpectedly in December.
>> Oh, right. Our dead teammates. I was
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>> Oh, right. Our dead teammates. I was
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>> Oh, right. Our dead teammates. I was
between honoring him or talking about
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between honoring him or talking about
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between honoring him or talking about
how much I was getting. I
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dude, come on. You hijacked that to try
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dude, come on. You hijacked that to try
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dude, come on. You hijacked that to try
to win back your fling. This is
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to win back your fling. This is
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to win back your fling. This is
basically like if instead of
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basically like if instead of
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basically like if instead of
interrupting Taylor Swift, Kanye had
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interrupting Taylor Swift, Kanye had
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interrupting Taylor Swift, Kanye had
interrupted the inmemoriam segment.
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interrupted the inmemoriam segment.
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interrupted the inmemoriam segment.
You know what? You know what? Love is a
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You know what? You know what? Love is a
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You know what? You know what? Love is a
rocky road sometimes. And if this big
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rocky road sometimes. And if this big
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rocky road sometimes. And if this big
display helped our boy get his girl
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display helped our boy get his girl
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display helped our boy get his girl
back, it was all worth it.
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back, it was all worth it.
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back, it was all worth it.
>> Well, speaking to a Norwegian tabloid,
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>> Well, speaking to a Norwegian tabloid,
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>> Well, speaking to a Norwegian tabloid,
the former girlfriend says it's hard to
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the former girlfriend says it's hard to
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the former girlfriend says it's hard to
forgive what he did and that she did not
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forgive what he did and that she did not
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forgive what he did and that she did not
appreciate him making their private
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appreciate him making their private
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appreciate him making their private
issue so public.
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Well, you know what? Look at the bright
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Well, you know what? Look at the bright
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Well, you know what? Look at the bright
side. You didn't get your girlfriend
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side. You didn't get your girlfriend
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side. You didn't get your girlfriend
back, but every woman you date from now
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back, but every woman you date from now
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back, but every woman you date from now
on knows you can't go 3 months without
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on knows you can't go 3 months without
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on knows you can't go 3 months without
cheating.
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cheating.
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cheating.
I mean, no things aren't going well for
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I mean, no things aren't going well for
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I mean, no things aren't going well for
you when even Lindsy Vaughn is like,
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you when even Lindsy Vaughn is like,
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you when even Lindsy Vaughn is like,
"This guy's having a bad week."
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"This guy's having a bad week."
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"This guy's having a bad week."
I MEAN, WHAT A MESS. THIS IS WHY I'M
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I MEAN, WHAT A MESS. THIS IS WHY I'M
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I MEAN, WHAT A MESS. THIS IS WHY I'M
ALWAYS SAYING we need to keep men out of
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ALWAYS SAYING we need to keep men out of
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ALWAYS SAYING we need to keep men out of
men's sports.
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men's sports.
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men's sports.
You you don't see the women's teams
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You you don't see the women's teams
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You you don't see the women's teams
having this much drama.
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having this much drama.
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having this much drama.
>> In the women's 15k individual batlon,
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>> In the women's 15k individual batlon,
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>> In the women's 15k individual batlon,
the gold goes to Julia Simone of France.
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the gold goes to Julia Simone of France.
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the gold goes to Julia Simone of France.
Last fall, she was found guilty by a
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Last fall, she was found guilty by a
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Last fall, she was found guilty by a
French court of theft and credit card
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French court of theft and credit card
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French court of theft and credit card
fraud and given a three-month suspended
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fraud and given a three-month suspended
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fraud and given a three-month suspended
prison sentence after stealing the
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prison sentence after stealing the
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prison sentence after stealing the
credit card numbers of a teammate.
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credit card numbers of a teammate.
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credit card numbers of a teammate.
>> What?
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>> What?
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>> What?
WHAT? WHAT? WHAT is it about this sport
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WHAT? WHAT? WHAT is it about this sport
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WHAT? WHAT? WHAT is it about this sport
where you voluntarily freeze your
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where you voluntarily freeze your
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where you voluntarily freeze your
genitals off in spandex and shoot guns
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genitals off in spandex and shoot guns
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genitals off in spandex and shoot guns
that attracts so many lunatics?
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that attracts so many lunatics?
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that attracts so many lunatics?
And you know, and to be fair to her,
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And you know, and to be fair to her,
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And you know, and to be fair to her,
it's it's not right to steal. But what
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it's it's not right to steal. But what
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it's it's not right to steal. But what
do you think skiing with a gun even pays
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do you think skiing with a gun even pays
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do you think skiing with a gun even pays
these days? Nobody's hiring. She
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these days? Nobody's hiring. She
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these days? Nobody's hiring. She
probably gets one or two contracts a
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probably gets one or two contracts a
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probably gets one or two contracts a
year to kill James Bond, but that
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year to kill James Bond, but that
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year to kill James Bond, but that
that barely covers rents, you know.
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that barely covers rents, you know.
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that barely covers rents, you know.
Moving on to something else going
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Moving on to something else going
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Moving on to something else going
downhill, America.
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downhill, America.
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downhill, America.
Today, Congress heard testimony from Pam
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Today, Congress heard testimony from Pam
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Today, Congress heard testimony from Pam
Bondi, attorney general and woman who
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Bondi, attorney general and woman who
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Bondi, attorney general and woman who
stresses everyone out at book club, but
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stresses everyone out at book club, but
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stresses everyone out at book club, but
it's not worth uninviting her because
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it's not worth uninviting her because
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it's not worth uninviting her because
that'll become a whole thing.
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that'll become a whole thing.
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that'll become a whole thing.
Congress had a lot of serious questions
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Congress had a lot of serious questions
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Congress had a lot of serious questions
for her about everything from ICE to
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for her about everything from ICE to
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for her about everything from ICE to
Epstein, and I'm sure she handled them
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Epstein, and I'm sure she handled them
232
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Epstein, and I'm sure she handled them
with the grace and maturity we have come
233
00:04:57,749 --> 00:04:57,759
with the grace and maturity we have come
234
00:04:57,759 --> 00:04:59,909
with the grace and maturity we have come
to expect from the Trump administration.
235
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to expect from the Trump administration.
236
00:04:59,919 --> 00:05:01,909
to expect from the Trump administration.
Are you kidding? I'm going to answer the
237
00:05:01,909 --> 00:05:01,919
Are you kidding? I'm going to answer the
238
00:05:01,919 --> 00:05:03,430
Are you kidding? I'm going to answer the
question the way I want to answer the
239
00:05:03,430 --> 00:05:03,440
question the way I want to answer the
240
00:05:03,440 --> 00:05:04,550
question the way I want to answer the
question. You're not going to get in the
241
00:05:04,550 --> 00:05:04,560
question. You're not going to get in the
242
00:05:04,560 --> 00:05:06,790
question. You're not going to get in the
gutter for her theatrics. Can I finish?
243
00:05:06,790 --> 00:05:06,800
gutter for her theatrics. Can I finish?
244
00:05:06,800 --> 00:05:09,350
gutter for her theatrics. Can I finish?
Please. I'm not being rude. She doesn't
245
00:05:09,350 --> 00:05:09,360
Please. I'm not being rude. She doesn't
246
00:05:09,360 --> 00:05:10,950
Please. I'm not being rude. She doesn't
say how much money she took from Reed
247
00:05:10,950 --> 00:05:10,960
say how much money she took from Reed
248
00:05:10,960 --> 00:05:13,270
say how much money she took from Reed
Hoffman. Did you? You don't tell me.
249
00:05:13,270 --> 00:05:13,280
Hoffman. Did you? You don't tell me.
250
00:05:13,280 --> 00:05:15,029
Hoffman. Did you? You don't tell me.
>> Oh, I did tell you because we saw what
251
00:05:15,029 --> 00:05:15,039
>> Oh, I did tell you because we saw what
252
00:05:15,039 --> 00:05:16,070
>> Oh, I did tell you because we saw what
you did in the Senate.
253
00:05:16,070 --> 00:05:16,080
you did in the Senate.
254
00:05:16,080 --> 00:05:17,909
you did in the Senate.
>> Lawyer. Not even a lawyer. You're a
255
00:05:17,909 --> 00:05:17,919
>> Lawyer. Not even a lawyer. You're a
256
00:05:17,919 --> 00:05:20,790
>> Lawyer. Not even a lawyer. You're a
failed politician. Hypocrite. Shame on
257
00:05:20,790 --> 00:05:20,800
failed politician. Hypocrite. Shame on
258
00:05:20,800 --> 00:05:22,950
failed politician. Hypocrite. Shame on
you. You don't get to reclaim your time.
259
00:05:22,950 --> 00:05:22,960
you. You don't get to reclaim your time.
260
00:05:22,960 --> 00:05:26,390
you. You don't get to reclaim your time.
Your time is up. This is so ridiculous.
261
00:05:26,390 --> 00:05:26,400
Your time is up. This is so ridiculous.
262
00:05:26,400 --> 00:05:28,469
Your time is up. This is so ridiculous.
>> Wow.
263
00:05:28,469 --> 00:05:28,479
>> Wow.
264
00:05:28,479 --> 00:05:29,990
>> Wow.
I mean, you could do something like that
265
00:05:29,990 --> 00:05:30,000
I mean, you could do something like that
266
00:05:30,000 --> 00:05:31,909
I mean, you could do something like that
in Congress, but when I do it in a
267
00:05:31,909 --> 00:05:31,919
in Congress, but when I do it in a
268
00:05:31,919 --> 00:05:37,590
in Congress, but when I do it in a
Chili's, I get banned for life.
269
00:05:37,590 --> 00:05:37,600
270
00:05:37,600 --> 00:05:39,430
>> To be fair though, you'd be in a bad
271
00:05:39,430 --> 00:05:39,440
>> To be fair though, you'd be in a bad
272
00:05:39,440 --> 00:05:41,350
>> To be fair though, you'd be in a bad
mood, too, if you'd spent the last month
273
00:05:41,350 --> 00:05:41,360
mood, too, if you'd spent the last month
274
00:05:41,360 --> 00:05:43,430
mood, too, if you'd spent the last month
redacting images of old man generals
275
00:05:43,430 --> 00:05:43,440
redacting images of old man generals
276
00:05:43,440 --> 00:05:46,950
redacting images of old man generals
from the Epstein files, allegedly.
277
00:05:46,950 --> 00:05:46,960
from the Epstein files, allegedly.
278
00:05:46,960 --> 00:05:48,710
from the Epstein files, allegedly.
Now, keep in mind, this is not how these
279
00:05:48,710 --> 00:05:48,720
Now, keep in mind, this is not how these
280
00:05:48,720 --> 00:05:50,629
Now, keep in mind, this is not how these
hearings traditionally go. The attorney
281
00:05:50,629 --> 00:05:50,639
hearings traditionally go. The attorney
282
00:05:50,639 --> 00:05:52,710
hearings traditionally go. The attorney
general used to carry some level of
283
00:05:52,710 --> 00:05:52,720
general used to carry some level of
284
00:05:52,720 --> 00:05:55,189
general used to carry some level of
seriousness and gravitas. It's only
285
00:05:55,189 --> 00:05:55,199
seriousness and gravitas. It's only
286
00:05:55,199 --> 00:05:56,550
seriousness and gravitas. It's only
recently that they'd spend a
287
00:05:56,550 --> 00:05:56,560
recently that they'd spend a
288
00:05:56,560 --> 00:05:57,990
recently that they'd spend a
congressional hearing acting like a
289
00:05:57,990 --> 00:05:58,000
congressional hearing acting like a
290
00:05:58,000 --> 00:06:00,150
congressional hearing acting like a
bratty senior who got called into the
291
00:06:00,150 --> 00:06:00,160
bratty senior who got called into the
292
00:06:00,160 --> 00:06:02,710
bratty senior who got called into the
principal's office. Suck my dick.
293
00:06:02,710 --> 00:06:02,720
principal's office. Suck my dick.
294
00:06:02,720 --> 00:06:04,870
principal's office. Suck my dick.
Principal Gilbert, I already got to ASU.
295
00:06:04,870 --> 00:06:04,880
Principal Gilbert, I already got to ASU.
296
00:06:04,880 --> 00:06:08,550
Principal Gilbert, I already got to ASU.
You can eat it.
297
00:06:08,550 --> 00:06:08,560
298
00:06:08,560 --> 00:06:10,870
Now, look, look. Her performance upset a
299
00:06:10,870 --> 00:06:10,880
Now, look, look. Her performance upset a
300
00:06:10,880 --> 00:06:12,629
Now, look, look. Her performance upset a
lot of people because they were hoping
301
00:06:12,629 --> 00:06:12,639
lot of people because they were hoping
302
00:06:12,639 --> 00:06:14,790
lot of people because they were hoping
for justice for Jeffrey Epstein's
303
00:06:14,790 --> 00:06:14,800
for justice for Jeffrey Epstein's
304
00:06:14,800 --> 00:06:17,749
for justice for Jeffrey Epstein's
victims. But for Pam Bondi, there's only
305
00:06:17,749 --> 00:06:17,759
victims. But for Pam Bondi, there's only
306
00:06:17,759 --> 00:06:19,510
victims. But for Pam Bondi, there's only
one victim in all of this.
307
00:06:19,510 --> 00:06:19,520
one victim in all of this.
308
00:06:19,520 --> 00:06:22,230
one victim in all of this.
>> Have you apologized to President Trump?
309
00:06:22,230 --> 00:06:22,240
>> Have you apologized to President Trump?
310
00:06:22,240 --> 00:06:24,950
>> Have you apologized to President Trump?
Have you apologized to President Trump?
311
00:06:24,950 --> 00:06:24,960
Have you apologized to President Trump?
312
00:06:24,960 --> 00:06:26,629
Have you apologized to President Trump?
All of you. I find it interesting that
313
00:06:26,629 --> 00:06:26,639
All of you. I find it interesting that
314
00:06:26,639 --> 00:06:28,870
All of you. I find it interesting that
she keeps going after President Trump,
315
00:06:28,870 --> 00:06:28,880
she keeps going after President Trump,
316
00:06:28,880 --> 00:06:30,550
she keeps going after President Trump,
the greatest president in American
317
00:06:30,550 --> 00:06:30,560
the greatest president in American
318
00:06:30,560 --> 00:06:33,350
the greatest president in American
history. You sit here and you attack the
319
00:06:33,350 --> 00:06:33,360
history. You sit here and you attack the
320
00:06:33,360 --> 00:06:35,590
history. You sit here and you attack the
president and I am not going to have it.
321
00:06:35,590 --> 00:06:35,600
president and I am not going to have it.
322
00:06:35,600 --> 00:06:38,870
president and I am not going to have it.
He is the most transparent president in
323
00:06:38,870 --> 00:06:38,880
He is the most transparent president in
324
00:06:38,880 --> 00:06:42,870
He is the most transparent president in
the nation's history. Donald Trump, the
325
00:06:42,870 --> 00:06:42,880
the nation's history. Donald Trump, the
326
00:06:42,880 --> 00:06:47,270
the nation's history. Donald Trump, the
Dow, the Dow right now is over the Dow
327
00:06:47,270 --> 00:06:47,280
Dow, the Dow right now is over the Dow
328
00:06:47,280 --> 00:06:49,990
Dow, the Dow right now is over the Dow
is over $50,000. I don't know why you're
329
00:06:49,990 --> 00:06:50,000
is over $50,000. I don't know why you're
330
00:06:50,000 --> 00:06:50,790
is over $50,000. I don't know why you're
laughing.
331
00:06:50,790 --> 00:06:50,800
laughing.
332
00:06:50,800 --> 00:06:53,990
laughing.
>> Hold on. Oh, okay. Hold up. Come. You
333
00:06:53,990 --> 00:06:54,000
>> Hold on. Oh, okay. Hold up. Come. You
334
00:06:54,000 --> 00:06:55,029
>> Hold on. Oh, okay. Hold up. Come. You
know, if you're going to embarrass
335
00:06:55,029 --> 00:06:55,039
know, if you're going to embarrass
336
00:06:55,039 --> 00:06:56,790
know, if you're going to embarrass
yourself on national television like
337
00:06:56,790 --> 00:06:56,800
yourself on national television like
338
00:06:56,800 --> 00:07:04,070
yourself on national television like
that, at least win a bronze medal first.
339
00:07:04,070 --> 00:07:04,080
340
00:07:04,080 --> 00:07:06,309
Have you no dignity?
341
00:07:06,309 --> 00:07:06,319
Have you no dignity?
342
00:07:06,319 --> 00:07:09,029
Have you no dignity?
No dignity. You know, there is some good
343
00:07:09,029 --> 00:07:09,039
No dignity. You know, there is some good
344
00:07:09,039 --> 00:07:11,029
No dignity. You know, there is some good
news for Donald Trump and it comes right
345
00:07:11,029 --> 00:07:11,039
news for Donald Trump and it comes right
346
00:07:11,039 --> 00:07:13,350
news for Donald Trump and it comes right
out of my own home state of Michigan
347
00:07:13,350 --> 00:07:13,360
out of my own home state of Michigan
348
00:07:13,360 --> 00:07:15,670
out of my own home state of Michigan
where the state motto is, "Welcome to
349
00:07:15,670 --> 00:07:15,680
where the state motto is, "Welcome to
350
00:07:15,680 --> 00:07:20,390
where the state motto is, "Welcome to
Michigan. We're sorry about Kid Rock."
351
00:07:20,390 --> 00:07:20,400
352
00:07:20,400 --> 00:07:22,550
For decades now, the only bridge between
353
00:07:22,550 --> 00:07:22,560
For decades now, the only bridge between
354
00:07:22,560 --> 00:07:24,150
For decades now, the only bridge between
Canada and Detroit has been the
355
00:07:24,150 --> 00:07:24,160
Canada and Detroit has been the
356
00:07:24,160 --> 00:07:26,150
Canada and Detroit has been the
Ambassador Bridge. But in Trump's first
357
00:07:26,150 --> 00:07:26,160
Ambassador Bridge. But in Trump's first
358
00:07:26,160 --> 00:07:28,070
Ambassador Bridge. But in Trump's first
term, Canada started construction on the
359
00:07:28,070 --> 00:07:28,080
term, Canada started construction on the
360
00:07:28,080 --> 00:07:30,469
term, Canada started construction on the
Gordy How Bridge. And Trump was so
361
00:07:30,469 --> 00:07:30,479
Gordy How Bridge. And Trump was so
362
00:07:30,479 --> 00:07:32,150
Gordy How Bridge. And Trump was so
excited about it that he even got a
363
00:07:32,150 --> 00:07:32,160
excited about it that he even got a
364
00:07:32,160 --> 00:07:33,270
excited about it that he even got a
little poetic.
365
00:07:33,270 --> 00:07:33,280
little poetic.
366
00:07:33,280 --> 00:07:35,350
little poetic.
>> America is deeply fortunate to have a
367
00:07:35,350 --> 00:07:35,360
>> America is deeply fortunate to have a
368
00:07:35,360 --> 00:07:37,670
>> America is deeply fortunate to have a
neighbor like Canada.
369
00:07:37,670 --> 00:07:37,680
neighbor like Canada.
370
00:07:37,680 --> 00:07:39,589
neighbor like Canada.
We have before us the opportunity to
371
00:07:39,589 --> 00:07:39,599
We have before us the opportunity to
372
00:07:39,599 --> 00:07:42,150
We have before us the opportunity to
build even more bridges
373
00:07:42,150 --> 00:07:42,160
build even more bridges
374
00:07:42,160 --> 00:07:45,430
build even more bridges
and bridges of cooperation and bridges
375
00:07:45,430 --> 00:07:45,440
and bridges of cooperation and bridges
376
00:07:45,440 --> 00:07:47,029
and bridges of cooperation and bridges
of commerce.
377
00:07:47,029 --> 00:07:47,039
of commerce.
378
00:07:47,039 --> 00:07:50,070
of commerce.
>> Wow. Wow. Remember when he used to
379
00:07:50,070 --> 00:07:50,080
>> Wow. Wow. Remember when he used to
380
00:07:50,080 --> 00:07:53,990
>> Wow. Wow. Remember when he used to
pretend to try?
381
00:07:53,990 --> 00:07:54,000
382
00:07:54,000 --> 00:07:55,749
At the time we were like, "Look at him
383
00:07:55,749 --> 00:07:55,759
At the time we were like, "Look at him
384
00:07:55,759 --> 00:07:58,230
At the time we were like, "Look at him
phoning in diplomacy. Now we're like,
385
00:07:58,230 --> 00:07:58,240
phoning in diplomacy. Now we're like,
386
00:07:58,240 --> 00:08:00,070
phoning in diplomacy. Now we're like,
"Dear God, please phone in some
387
00:08:00,070 --> 00:08:00,080
"Dear God, please phone in some
388
00:08:00,080 --> 00:08:02,150
"Dear God, please phone in some
diplomacy."
389
00:08:02,150 --> 00:08:02,160
diplomacy."
390
00:08:02,160 --> 00:08:03,990
diplomacy."
Anyway, the point is the bridge is
391
00:08:03,990 --> 00:08:04,000
Anyway, the point is the bridge is
392
00:08:04,000 --> 00:08:05,749
Anyway, the point is the bridge is
almost complete, which will soon open up
393
00:08:05,749 --> 00:08:05,759
almost complete, which will soon open up
394
00:08:05,759 --> 00:08:07,990
almost complete, which will soon open up
a public crossing that will enrich both
395
00:08:07,990 --> 00:08:08,000
a public crossing that will enrich both
396
00:08:08,000 --> 00:08:10,550
a public crossing that will enrich both
our nations. Trump must be so excited
397
00:08:10,550 --> 00:08:10,560
our nations. Trump must be so excited
398
00:08:10,560 --> 00:08:13,029
our nations. Trump must be so excited
for this new era of US Canadian
399
00:08:13,029 --> 00:08:13,039
for this new era of US Canadian
400
00:08:13,039 --> 00:08:14,710
for this new era of US Canadian
friendship. This morning, President
401
00:08:14,710 --> 00:08:14,720
friendship. This morning, President
402
00:08:14,720 --> 00:08:16,150
friendship. This morning, President
Trump threatening to block the opening
403
00:08:16,150 --> 00:08:16,160
Trump threatening to block the opening
404
00:08:16,160 --> 00:08:18,309
Trump threatening to block the opening
of a brand new bridge between Canada and
405
00:08:18,309 --> 00:08:18,319
of a brand new bridge between Canada and
406
00:08:18,319 --> 00:08:20,710
of a brand new bridge between Canada and
the US. I will not allow this bridge to
407
00:08:20,710 --> 00:08:20,720
the US. I will not allow this bridge to
408
00:08:20,720 --> 00:08:22,629
the US. I will not allow this bridge to
open until the United States is fully
409
00:08:22,629 --> 00:08:22,639
open until the United States is fully
410
00:08:22,639 --> 00:08:24,710
open until the United States is fully
compensated for everything we have given
411
00:08:24,710 --> 00:08:24,720
compensated for everything we have given
412
00:08:24,720 --> 00:08:27,589
compensated for everything we have given
them or
413
00:08:27,589 --> 00:08:27,599
them or
414
00:08:27,599 --> 00:08:30,550
them or
friendship.
415
00:08:30,550 --> 00:08:30,560
friendship.
416
00:08:30,560 --> 00:08:32,230
friendship.
After all, what has friendship ever done
417
00:08:32,230 --> 00:08:32,240
After all, what has friendship ever done
418
00:08:32,240 --> 00:08:34,149
After all, what has friendship ever done
for Trump other than associate him with
419
00:08:34,149 --> 00:08:34,159
for Trump other than associate him with
420
00:08:34,159 --> 00:08:35,990
for Trump other than associate him with
the world's largest sex trafficking
421
00:08:35,990 --> 00:08:36,000
the world's largest sex trafficking
422
00:08:36,000 --> 00:08:42,709
the world's largest sex trafficking
ring?
423
00:08:42,709 --> 00:08:42,719
424
00:08:42,719 --> 00:08:45,190
Still, still, Mr. President, this bridge
425
00:08:45,190 --> 00:08:45,200
Still, still, Mr. President, this bridge
426
00:08:45,200 --> 00:08:47,750
Still, still, Mr. President, this bridge
is a winwin. Canada is paying for all of
427
00:08:47,750 --> 00:08:47,760
is a winwin. Canada is paying for all of
428
00:08:47,760 --> 00:08:49,269
is a winwin. Canada is paying for all of
it, and they're going to share ownership
429
00:08:49,269 --> 00:08:49,279
it, and they're going to share ownership
430
00:08:49,279 --> 00:08:51,509
it, and they're going to share ownership
with Michigan. We get a a public bridge
431
00:08:51,509 --> 00:08:51,519
with Michigan. We get a a public bridge
432
00:08:51,519 --> 00:08:53,269
with Michigan. We get a a public bridge
instead of having to pay tolls to the
433
00:08:53,269 --> 00:08:53,279
instead of having to pay tolls to the
434
00:08:53,279 --> 00:08:54,949
instead of having to pay tolls to the
billionaire owner of the Ambassador
435
00:08:54,949 --> 00:08:54,959
billionaire owner of the Ambassador
436
00:08:54,959 --> 00:08:57,110
billionaire owner of the Ambassador
Bridge. Why would the president oppose
437
00:08:57,110 --> 00:08:57,120
Bridge. Why would the president oppose
438
00:08:57,120 --> 00:08:57,750
Bridge. Why would the president oppose
that?
439
00:08:57,750 --> 00:08:57,760
that?
440
00:08:57,760 --> 00:08:59,829
that?
>> The owner of the older Ambassador
441
00:08:59,829 --> 00:08:59,839
>> The owner of the older Ambassador
442
00:08:59,839 --> 00:09:02,150
>> The owner of the older Ambassador
Bridge, Matthew Maroon, lobbyed the
443
00:09:02,150 --> 00:09:02,160
Bridge, Matthew Maroon, lobbyed the
444
00:09:02,160 --> 00:09:04,870
Bridge, Matthew Maroon, lobbyed the
Trump administration on the same day the
445
00:09:04,870 --> 00:09:04,880
Trump administration on the same day the
446
00:09:04,880 --> 00:09:07,430
Trump administration on the same day the
president unleashed his tirade about the
447
00:09:07,430 --> 00:09:07,440
president unleashed his tirade about the
448
00:09:07,440 --> 00:09:09,829
president unleashed his tirade about the
Gordy House ban.
449
00:09:09,829 --> 00:09:09,839
Gordy House ban.
450
00:09:09,839 --> 00:09:13,750
Gordy House ban.
Oh, I see. You were for it. Then one of
451
00:09:13,750 --> 00:09:13,760
Oh, I see. You were for it. Then one of
452
00:09:13,760 --> 00:09:15,269
Oh, I see. You were for it. Then one of
your donors called you and you
453
00:09:15,269 --> 00:09:15,279
your donors called you and you
454
00:09:15,279 --> 00:09:17,910
your donors called you and you
immediately turned against it. I mean,
455
00:09:17,910 --> 00:09:17,920
immediately turned against it. I mean,
456
00:09:17,920 --> 00:09:19,910
immediately turned against it. I mean,
say what you want about Trump. He is
457
00:09:19,910 --> 00:09:19,920
say what you want about Trump. He is
458
00:09:19,920 --> 00:09:22,790
say what you want about Trump. He is
always transparent with his corruption.
459
00:09:22,790 --> 00:09:22,800
always transparent with his corruption.
460
00:09:22,800 --> 00:09:25,110
always transparent with his corruption.
You never have to follow the money with
461
00:09:25,110 --> 00:09:25,120
You never have to follow the money with
462
00:09:25,120 --> 00:09:27,590
You never have to follow the money with
him. You know, the money is like, "I'm
463
00:09:27,590 --> 00:09:27,600
him. You know, the money is like, "I'm
464
00:09:27,600 --> 00:09:29,110
him. You know, the money is like, "I'm
going to Donald Trump. I'll drop you a
465
00:09:29,110 --> 00:09:29,120
going to Donald Trump. I'll drop you a
466
00:09:29,120 --> 00:09:30,070
going to Donald Trump. I'll drop you a
pin."
467
00:09:30,070 --> 00:09:30,080
pin."
468
00:09:30,080 --> 00:09:33,269
pin."
>> WELL DONE, MR. JORDAN. Looks like he
469
00:09:33,269 --> 00:09:33,279
>> WELL DONE, MR. JORDAN. Looks like he
470
00:09:33,279 --> 00:09:35,190
>> WELL DONE, MR. JORDAN. Looks like he
solved me riddle.
471
00:09:35,190 --> 00:09:35,200
solved me riddle.
472
00:09:35,200 --> 00:09:39,350
solved me riddle.
>> I I Wait, who who said that? It is I,
473
00:09:39,350 --> 00:09:39,360
>> I I Wait, who who said that? It is I,
474
00:09:39,360 --> 00:09:43,829
>> I I Wait, who who said that? It is I,
THE TROLL OF THE GORDIHOW BRIDGE.
475
00:09:43,829 --> 00:09:43,839
THE TROLL OF THE GORDIHOW BRIDGE.
476
00:09:43,839 --> 00:09:45,990
THE TROLL OF THE GORDIHOW BRIDGE.
>> It seemed you solved the riddle of the
477
00:09:45,990 --> 00:09:46,000
>> It seemed you solved the riddle of the
478
00:09:46,000 --> 00:09:49,190
>> It seemed you solved the riddle of the
bridge dispute. Give Trump a bribe and
479
00:09:49,190 --> 00:09:49,200
bridge dispute. Give Trump a bribe and
480
00:09:49,200 --> 00:09:52,470
bridge dispute. Give Trump a bribe and
you'll have your root.
481
00:09:52,470 --> 00:09:52,480
you'll have your root.
482
00:09:52,480 --> 00:09:55,750
you'll have your root.
>> Uh, yeah, it wasn't that hard. The
483
00:09:55,750 --> 00:09:55,760
>> Uh, yeah, it wasn't that hard. The
484
00:09:55,760 --> 00:09:58,310
>> Uh, yeah, it wasn't that hard. The
answer with Trump is probably always a
485
00:09:58,310 --> 00:09:58,320
answer with Trump is probably always a
486
00:09:58,320 --> 00:09:59,269
answer with Trump is probably always a
bribe.
487
00:09:59,269 --> 00:09:59,279
bribe.
488
00:09:59,279 --> 00:10:03,110
bribe.
>> But if true, puzzle master ye be, then
489
00:10:03,110 --> 00:10:03,120
>> But if true, puzzle master ye be, then
490
00:10:03,120 --> 00:10:06,230
>> But if true, puzzle master ye be, then
see if ye can answer these riddle three.
491
00:10:06,230 --> 00:10:06,240
see if ye can answer these riddle three.
492
00:10:06,240 --> 00:10:08,389
see if ye can answer these riddle three.
Yeah, I I'm sorry. I actually have a
493
00:10:08,389 --> 00:10:08,399
Yeah, I I'm sorry. I actually have a
494
00:10:08,399 --> 00:10:09,990
Yeah, I I'm sorry. I actually have a
show to do. WE'RE IN A ONE.
495
00:10:09,990 --> 00:10:10,000
show to do. WE'RE IN A ONE.
496
00:10:10,000 --> 00:10:11,910
show to do. WE'RE IN A ONE.
>> OKAY.
497
00:10:11,910 --> 00:10:11,920
>> OKAY.
498
00:10:11,920 --> 00:10:15,430
>> OKAY.
>> If two companies want profits to search,
499
00:10:15,430 --> 00:10:15,440
>> If two companies want profits to search,
500
00:10:15,440 --> 00:10:19,590
>> If two companies want profits to search,
they'll need this in order to merge.
501
00:10:19,590 --> 00:10:19,600
they'll need this in order to merge.
502
00:10:19,600 --> 00:10:22,310
they'll need this in order to merge.
>> If two companies want to merge, I'm
503
00:10:22,310 --> 00:10:22,320
>> If two companies want to merge, I'm
504
00:10:22,320 --> 00:10:27,590
>> If two companies want to merge, I'm
guessing you try to give Trump a bribe.
505
00:10:27,590 --> 00:10:27,600
506
00:10:27,600 --> 00:10:30,550
>> Aren't you clever?
507
00:10:30,550 --> 00:10:30,560
>> Aren't you clever?
508
00:10:30,560 --> 00:10:32,550
>> Aren't you clever?
>> No, I I I'm not. The answer is JUST
509
00:10:32,550 --> 00:10:32,560
>> No, I I I'm not. The answer is JUST
510
00:10:32,560 --> 00:10:35,990
>> No, I I I'm not. The answer is JUST
ALWAYS GOING TO OKAY.
511
00:10:35,990 --> 00:10:36,000
ALWAYS GOING TO OKAY.
512
00:10:36,000 --> 00:10:39,670
ALWAYS GOING TO OKAY.
If thou desires an ocean for drilling,
513
00:10:39,670 --> 00:10:39,680
If thou desires an ocean for drilling,
514
00:10:39,680 --> 00:10:42,870
If thou desires an ocean for drilling,
only this will make Trump willing.
515
00:10:42,870 --> 00:10:42,880
only this will make Trump willing.
516
00:10:42,880 --> 00:10:45,430
only this will make Trump willing.
>> Uh, again, I'm going to guess A BRIBE.
517
00:10:45,430 --> 00:10:45,440
>> Uh, again, I'm going to guess A BRIBE.
518
00:10:45,440 --> 00:10:46,949
>> Uh, again, I'm going to guess A BRIBE.
>> WHAT? WHERE ARE you getting these
519
00:10:46,949 --> 00:10:46,959
>> WHAT? WHERE ARE you getting these
520
00:10:46,959 --> 00:10:52,790
>> WHAT? WHERE ARE you getting these
answers from? Did you hack my laptop?
521
00:10:52,790 --> 00:10:52,800
522
00:10:52,800 --> 00:10:54,710
>> Bridge trolls have laptops.
523
00:10:54,710 --> 00:10:54,720
>> Bridge trolls have laptops.
524
00:10:54,720 --> 00:10:56,389
>> Bridge trolls have laptops.
>> Yes.
525
00:10:56,389 --> 00:10:56,399
>> Yes.
526
00:10:56,399 --> 00:11:00,550
>> Yes.
And the password is impenetrable.
527
00:11:00,550 --> 00:11:00,560
528
00:11:00,560 --> 00:11:08,790
>> Is the password bribe?
529
00:11:08,790 --> 00:11:08,800
530
00:11:08,800 --> 00:11:12,790
Riddle number three.
531
00:11:12,790 --> 00:11:12,800
532
00:11:12,800 --> 00:11:16,150
If a 20ear sex trafficking sentence ye
533
00:11:16,150 --> 00:11:16,160
If a 20ear sex trafficking sentence ye
534
00:11:16,160 --> 00:11:18,550
If a 20ear sex trafficking sentence ye
face
535
00:11:18,550 --> 00:11:18,560
face
536
00:11:18,560 --> 00:11:21,430
face
>> with this, your punishment may be
537
00:11:21,430 --> 00:11:21,440
>> with this, your punishment may be
538
00:11:21,440 --> 00:11:21,990
>> with this, your punishment may be
erased.
539
00:11:21,990 --> 00:11:22,000
erased.
540
00:11:22,000 --> 00:11:24,069
erased.
>> Oh wow. Yeah. You know this this is a
541
00:11:24,069 --> 00:11:24,079
>> Oh wow. Yeah. You know this this is a
542
00:11:24,079 --> 00:11:26,310
>> Oh wow. Yeah. You know this this is a
tough one.
543
00:11:26,310 --> 00:11:26,320
tough one.
544
00:11:26,320 --> 00:11:28,150
tough one.
>> I'VE GOT YOU NOW, MR.
545
00:11:28,150 --> 00:11:28,160
>> I'VE GOT YOU NOW, MR.
546
00:11:28,160 --> 00:11:29,110
>> I'VE GOT YOU NOW, MR.
>> IS IT A BRIBE,
547
00:11:29,110 --> 00:11:29,120
>> IS IT A BRIBE,
548
00:11:29,120 --> 00:11:36,630
>> IS IT A BRIBE,
>> MOTHER?
549
00:11:36,630 --> 00:11:36,640
550
00:11:36,640 --> 00:11:40,389
LOOK, I'm sorry.
551
00:11:40,389 --> 00:11:40,399
552
00:11:40,399 --> 00:11:43,110
>> Troll. Troll. Trump is just not that
553
00:11:43,110 --> 00:11:43,120
>> Troll. Troll. Trump is just not that
554
00:11:43,120 --> 00:11:45,269
>> Troll. Troll. Trump is just not that
complicated. It's always comes down to a
555
00:11:45,269 --> 00:11:45,279
complicated. It's always comes down to a
556
00:11:45,279 --> 00:11:47,269
complicated. It's always comes down to a
bribe. Why are you even guarding a
557
00:11:47,269 --> 00:11:47,279
bribe. Why are you even guarding a
558
00:11:47,279 --> 00:11:48,630
bribe. Why are you even guarding a
bridge anyway?
559
00:11:48,630 --> 00:11:48,640
bridge anyway?
560
00:11:48,640 --> 00:11:51,750
bridge anyway?
>> Because I TRIED TO BRIBE TRUMP BY buying
561
00:11:51,750 --> 00:11:51,760
>> Because I TRIED TO BRIBE TRUMP BY buying
562
00:11:51,760 --> 00:11:53,910
>> Because I TRIED TO BRIBE TRUMP BY buying
his crypto, but then it crashed and I
563
00:11:53,910 --> 00:11:53,920
his crypto, but then it crashed and I
564
00:11:53,920 --> 00:11:56,150
his crypto, but then it crashed and I
lost everything.
565
00:11:56,150 --> 00:11:56,160
lost everything.
566
00:11:56,160 --> 00:11:58,069
lost everything.
>> So, I live here now.
567
00:11:58,069 --> 00:11:58,079
>> So, I live here now.
568
00:11:58,079 --> 00:12:00,790
>> So, I live here now.
>> Oh, I you know, I'm I'm sorry. That's
569
00:12:00,790 --> 00:12:00,800
>> Oh, I you know, I'm I'm sorry. That's
570
00:12:00,800 --> 00:12:04,550
>> Oh, I you know, I'm I'm sorry. That's
that's very sad. I know. I just like
571
00:12:04,550 --> 00:12:04,560
that's very sad. I know. I just like
572
00:12:04,560 --> 00:12:07,190
that's very sad. I know. I just like
honestly I could really use a place to
573
00:12:07,190 --> 00:12:07,200
honestly I could really use a place to
574
00:12:07,200 --> 00:12:09,509
honestly I could really use a place to
stay until I like get back up on my
575
00:12:09,509 --> 00:12:09,519
stay until I like get back up on my
576
00:12:09,519 --> 00:12:16,870
stay until I like get back up on my
feet.
577
00:12:16,870 --> 00:12:16,880
578
00:12:16,880 --> 00:12:19,590
>> Well, good luck to you. Um,
579
00:12:19,590 --> 00:12:19,600
>> Well, good luck to you. Um,
580
00:12:19,600 --> 00:12:20,790
>> Well, good luck to you. Um,
I guess we're done here.
581
00:12:20,790 --> 00:12:20,800
I guess we're done here.
582
00:12:20,800 --> 00:12:23,670
I guess we're done here.
>> Not just yet. If you wish to end your
583
00:12:23,670 --> 00:12:23,680
>> Not just yet. If you wish to end your
584
00:12:23,680 --> 00:12:26,870
>> Not just yet. If you wish to end your
bout, permit me to crush on your couch.
585
00:12:26,870 --> 00:12:26,880
bout, permit me to crush on your couch.
586
00:12:26,880 --> 00:12:28,310
bout, permit me to crush on your couch.
>> I mean, we're not even rhyming now. You
587
00:12:28,310 --> 00:12:28,320
>> I mean, we're not even rhyming now. You
588
00:12:28,320 --> 00:12:28,870
>> I mean, we're not even rhyming now. You
know,
589
00:12:28,870 --> 00:12:28,880
know,
590
00:12:28,880 --> 00:12:29,590
know,
>> rhymes count.
591
00:12:29,590 --> 00:12:29,600
>> rhymes count.
592
00:12:29,600 --> 00:12:31,990
>> rhymes count.
>> Okay. Gordy howbridge troll everyone.
593
00:12:31,990 --> 00:12:32,000
>> Okay. Gordy howbridge troll everyone.
594
00:12:32,000 --> 00:12:35,000
>> Okay. Gordy howbridge troll everyone.
On.
51159
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