Original subtitles

Welcome to the Daily Show. We got one

Welcome to the Daily Show. We got one

Welcome to the Daily Show. We got one for you tonight. MY NAME IS JOHN

for you tonight. MY NAME IS JOHN

for you tonight. MY NAME IS JOHN STEWART. Great show. Andy Basher will be

STEWART. Great show. Andy Basher will be

STEWART. Great show. Andy Basher will be here.

>> We'll be talking about season two of his

>> We'll be talking about season two of his

>> We'll be talking about season two of his podcast. We'll also talk about his side

podcast. We'll also talk about his side

podcast. We'll also talk about his side hustle as the governor of Kentucky.

hustle as the governor of Kentucky.

hustle as the governor of Kentucky. First, I I got to tell you, what a

First, I I got to tell you, what a

First, I I got to tell you, what a weekend. Super Bowl Cindy. AND WHAT A

weekend. Super Bowl Cindy. AND WHAT A

weekend. Super Bowl Cindy. AND WHAT A GAME. WHAT A GAME IT WAS. MAN, if you

GAME. WHAT A GAME IT WAS. MAN, if you

GAME. WHAT A GAME IT WAS. MAN, if you like highscoring contests where the

like highscoring contests where the

like highscoring contests where the outcome is in doubt till the final

outcome is in doubt till the final

outcome is in doubt till the final suspenseful climactic seconds, this was

suspenseful climactic seconds, this was

suspenseful climactic seconds, this was not the game for you.

Slow,

Slow,

Slow, grinding.

grinding.

grinding. It nearly took all the fun out of

It nearly took all the fun out of

It nearly took all the fun out of watching the Patriots lose.

I was saluting the Patriots

I was saluting the Patriots

I was saluting the Patriots and their oneyear rebuild.

But you know what? At least we had our

But you know what? At least we had our

But you know what? At least we had our snacks. That's what's the important

snacks. That's what's the important

snacks. That's what's the important part. I I'll be honest with you. I went

part. I I'll be honest with you. I went

part. I I'll be honest with you. I went with the whole shebang. Six-foot hogy,

with the whole shebang. Six-foot hogy,

with the whole shebang. Six-foot hogy, wings, nachos, queso, hot and cold

wings, nachos, queso, hot and cold

wings, nachos, queso, hot and cold running buttwash. Am I missing any of

running buttwash. Am I missing any of

running buttwash. Am I missing any of the classics? What would you have as a

the classics? What would you have as a

the classics? What would you have as a Super Bowl snack?

Super Bowl snack?

Super Bowl snack? >> I, you know, I am on a carnivore diet,

>> I, you know, I am on a carnivore diet,

>> I, you know, I am on a carnivore diet, so I just eat meat and ferments.

Did this Did this MOTHER

just say his diet is meat and fermentss?

He's He's so weird.

WHY DOES HE ALWAYS HAVE TO be so

WHY DOES HE ALWAYS HAVE TO be so

WHY DOES HE ALWAYS HAVE TO be so pluribus? Why?

pluribus? Why?

pluribus? Why? Carol, would you like some fermentss?

Carol, would you like some fermentss?

Carol, would you like some fermentss? Just as a normal non-alien species to

Just as a normal non-alien species to

Just as a normal non-alien species to another, it is a Super Bowl party. I

another, it is a Super Bowl party. I

another, it is a Super Bowl party. I don't care if your diet is meat and

don't care if your diet is meat and

don't care if your diet is meat and fermentss.

fermentss.

fermentss. What are you having at the Super Bowl

What are you having at the Super Bowl

What are you having at the Super Bowl party? So, I'm going to probably have

party? So, I'm going to probably have

party? So, I'm going to probably have yogurt.

You're going to have yogurt

You're going to have yogurt

You're going to have yogurt for the Super Bowl. For the Super Bowl,

for the Super Bowl. For the Super Bowl,

for the Super Bowl. For the Super Bowl, you're having yogurt.

you're having yogurt.

you're having yogurt. You eat meat and fermentss. And for the

You eat meat and fermentss. And for the

You eat meat and fermentss. And for the Super Bowl, you went ferments.

You know, dude, it's one thing to bring

You know, dude, it's one thing to bring

You know, dude, it's one thing to bring measles and polio back,

measles and polio back,

measles and polio back, but I think I speak for the entire

but I think I speak for the entire

but I think I speak for the entire nation when I say if you ever show up at

nation when I say if you ever show up at

nation when I say if you ever show up at my Super Bowl party

my Super Bowl party

my Super Bowl party with a tub of yogurt.

You couldn't just muster up a little

You couldn't just muster up a little

You couldn't just muster up a little trunk bear jerky. Like what?

But even though the game was a grind and

But even though the game was a grind and

But even though the game was a grind and your weird friend brought you a six-pack

your weird friend brought you a six-pack

your weird friend brought you a six-pack of yogurt,

at least we all have the halftime show

at least we all have the halftime show

at least we all have the halftime show this year.

They love it.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah. Sponsored this year by Ferments.

Sponsored this year by Ferments.

Sponsored this year by Ferments. Ferments.

Ferments.

Ferments. It puts the fart in RFK.

This year's Super Bowl halftime show

This year's Super Bowl halftime show

This year's Super Bowl halftime show start Bonito Antonio MARTINEZ BAD BUNNY

start Bonito Antonio MARTINEZ BAD BUNNY

start Bonito Antonio MARTINEZ BAD BUNNY OKASIO.

And he was out there and delivered a

And he was out there and delivered a

And he was out there and delivered a performance that was, as they say in

performance that was, as they say in

performance that was, as they say in Puerto Rico, quite good.

Puerto Rico, quite good.

Puerto Rico, quite good. Mr. Bunny killed it despite being

Mr. Bunny killed it despite being

Mr. Bunny killed it despite being trapped in anescapable sugarce hedge

trapped in anescapable sugarce hedge

trapped in anescapable sugarce hedge maze. HE HAD LADY GAGA. HE HAD Ricky

maze. HE HAD LADY GAGA. HE HAD Ricky

maze. HE HAD LADY GAGA. HE HAD Ricky Martin. He had the Mandalorian. HE THREW

Martin. He had the Mandalorian. HE THREW

Martin. He had the Mandalorian. HE THREW A WEDDING. HE HELD A MODEL UN.

A WEDDING. HE HELD A MODEL UN.

A WEDDING. HE HELD A MODEL UN. And he even had the time to make a conad

And he even had the time to make a conad

And he even had the time to make a conad service stop

service stop

service stop midcon.

midcon.

midcon. It's okay. He did it all.

It's okay. He did it all.

It's okay. He did it all. Just reboot the box and enjoy. Data.

Just reboot the box and enjoy. Data.

Just reboot the box and enjoy. Data. It was joyful

It was joyful

It was joyful and infectious and

and infectious and

and infectious and >> the single worst halftime show in NFL

>> the single worst halftime show in NFL

>> the single worst halftime show in NFL history.

history.

history. >> Oh. Oh, right, right, right. I forgot. I

>> Oh. Oh, right, right, right. I forgot. I

>> Oh. Oh, right, right, right. I forgot. I forgot. Um,

forgot. Um,

forgot. Um, for a significant portion of Americans,

for a significant portion of Americans,

for a significant portion of Americans, everything that happens must uniformly

everything that happens must uniformly

everything that happens must uniformly be filtered through a particular

be filtered through a particular

be filtered through a particular magazentric worldview and judged on how

magazentric worldview and judged on how

magazentric worldview and judged on how well it conforms to that traditional

well it conforms to that traditional

well it conforms to that traditional vision, which doesn't include knowing

vision, which doesn't include knowing

vision, which doesn't include knowing where the bibloteka is.

where the bibloteka is.

where the bibloteka is. >> To get up there and perform the whole

>> To get up there and perform the whole

>> To get up there and perform the whole the whole show in Spanish is a middle

the whole show in Spanish is a middle

the whole show in Spanish is a middle finger to the rest of America. The

finger to the rest of America. The

finger to the rest of America. The majority of people in the audience had

majority of people in the audience had

majority of people in the audience had no idea what was being said.

no idea what was being said.

no idea what was being said. >> Is it too much to ask to put it in

>> Is it too much to ask to put it in

>> Is it too much to ask to put it in English? Not one word of English. Not

English? Not one word of English. Not

English? Not one word of English. Not one word of English. One word.

>> Here's here's some English for you.

>> Here's here's some English for you.

>> Here's here's some English for you. Who put Thanos over here in the air

Who put Thanos over here in the air

Who put Thanos over here in the air fryer?

Did they Did they

Did they Did they

Did they Did they Did Fox decide they needed an actual

Did Fox decide they needed an actual

Did Fox decide they needed an actual Buffalo wing to comment on the game?

Dude, seriously, we all like to get sun,

Dude, seriously, we all like to get sun,

Dude, seriously, we all like to get sun, but I mean, I'm no dermatologist, but

but I mean, I'm no dermatologist, but

but I mean, I'm no dermatologist, but be there tomorrow morning as early as

be there tomorrow morning as early as

be there tomorrow morning as early as you can be there.

you can be there.

you can be there. It's like the guy's couch is one of

It's like the guy's couch is one of

It's like the guy's couch is one of those chicken rotisseries. Just he's

those chicken rotisseries. Just he's

those chicken rotisseries. Just he's watching the game like, "TELL ME IF I

watching the game like, "TELL ME IF I

watching the game like, "TELL ME IF I MISS ANYTHING.

I've got like 10 of these.

Seriously, how many gizzies do you

Seriously, how many gizzies do you

Seriously, how many gizzies do you gobble

before you become one?

BUT THE POINT IS, THIS IS AMERICAERS.

This is the Super Bowl. IS IT TOO MUCH

This is the Super Bowl. IS IT TOO MUCH

This is the Super Bowl. IS IT TOO MUCH TO ASK FOR A HALFTIME SHOW THAT THIS

TO ASK FOR A HALFTIME SHOW THAT THIS

TO ASK FOR A HALFTIME SHOW THAT THIS GREAT nation can enjoy in its mother

GREAT nation can enjoy in its mother

GREAT nation can enjoy in its mother tongue?

tongue?

tongue? It's why the good PEOPLE AT TPUSA

It's why the good PEOPLE AT TPUSA

It's why the good PEOPLE AT TPUSA WENT through the trouble of putting ON

WENT through the trouble of putting ON

WENT through the trouble of putting ON AN ALTERNATIVE ALL-AMERICAN HALFTIME

AN ALTERNATIVE ALL-AMERICAN HALFTIME

AN ALTERNATIVE ALL-AMERICAN HALFTIME SHOW THAT CELEBRATED this beautiful

SHOW THAT CELEBRATED this beautiful

SHOW THAT CELEBRATED this beautiful country in the King's English we all

country in the King's English we all

country in the King's English we all share.

THANK YOU. WAS THAT SO HARD? THANK YOU.

Thank you. Miam and Webster COULDN'T

Thank you. Miam and Webster COULDN'T

Thank you. Miam and Webster COULDN'T HAVE PUT IT BETTER THEMSELVES

HAVE PUT IT BETTER THEMSELVES

HAVE PUT IT BETTER THEMSELVES REGARDING THE UP JUMPING UPSET boogie in

REGARDING THE UP JUMPING UPSET boogie in

REGARDING THE UP JUMPING UPSET boogie in so far as the diggy diggy diggy

so far as the diggy diggy diggy

so far as the diggy diggy diggy being a danga dubang.

I got that right.

I got that right.

I got that right. But surely surely

But surely surely

But surely surely surely you didn't miss Bad BUNNY JUST TO

surely you didn't miss Bad BUNNY JUST TO

surely you didn't miss Bad BUNNY JUST TO WATCH AN old man in acidwashed jorts

WATCH AN old man in acidwashed jorts

WATCH AN old man in acidwashed jorts badly lip sync his way through a

badly lip sync his way through a

badly lip sync his way through a pre-taped ba ba performance.

pre-taped ba ba performance.

pre-taped ba ba performance. Surely the TPUSA halftime show was a

Surely the TPUSA halftime show was a

Surely the TPUSA halftime show was a broader spectacle of Americana to rival

broader spectacle of Americana to rival

broader spectacle of Americana to rival this most malevolent of bunnies.

Looks like somebody dipped into the

Looks like somebody dipped into the

Looks like somebody dipped into the fermentss.

Oh,

I've I've never seen a cello player who

I've I've never seen a cello player who

I've I've never seen a cello player who looks like the porn version of a cello

looks like the porn version of a cello

looks like the porn version of a cello player.

Bomb chicka

Bomb chicka

Bomb chicka bomb chicka bum.

bomb chicka bum.

bomb chicka bum. >> I'm sorry. Let let me let me skip

>> I'm sorry. Let let me let me skip

>> I'm sorry. Let let me let me skip forward a little bit. There's got to be

forward a little bit. There's got to be

forward a little bit. There's got to be something else worth missing out on. Bad

something else worth missing out on. Bad

something else worth missing out on. Bad bunny for

this country nowadays.

this country nowadays.

this country nowadays. >> Wait, I'm Wait,

>> Wait, I'm Wait,

>> Wait, I'm Wait, it it isn't.

it it isn't.

it it isn't. What exactly is is so hard about being

What exactly is is so hard about being

What exactly is is so hard about being country nowadays?

country nowadays?

country nowadays? >> I just want to catch my fish, drive my

>> I just want to catch my fish, drive my

>> I just want to catch my fish, drive my truck, drink my beer.

So far, it sounds relatively easy.

Am I missing a heavier lift?

Am I missing a heavier lift?

Am I missing a heavier lift? >> I just want to cut my grass, feed my

>> I just want to cut my grass, feed my

>> I just want to cut my grass, feed my dog, wear my boots,

sir. I Sir, again, I must insist.

sir. I Sir, again, I must insist.

sir. I Sir, again, I must insist. All of these seem like achievable goals.

All of these seem like achievable goals.

All of these seem like achievable goals. I mean, you're wearing BOOTS RIGHT NOW.

I mean, you're wearing BOOTS RIGHT NOW.

I mean, you're wearing BOOTS RIGHT NOW. WHAT EXACTLY IS it about being country

WHAT EXACTLY IS it about being country

WHAT EXACTLY IS it about being country that is so difficult?

>> That little boys ain't little girls.

>> Here we go.

>> Here we go.

>> Here we go. >> I'll give the hot water.

You're so brave.

People throw the word hero around,

People throw the word hero around,

People throw the word hero around, but this is a bold opinion to hold in

but this is a bold opinion to hold in

but this is a bold opinion to hold in your genre, sir. Really risking it all

your genre, sir. Really risking it all

your genre, sir. Really risking it all going up against country music's trans

going up against country music's trans

going up against country music's trans cartel.

cartel.

cartel. By the way, also if you did get

By the way, also if you did get

By the way, also if you did get cancelled, really more time for the

cancelled, really more time for the

cancelled, really more time for the fishing and the mowing and the

fishing and the mowing and the

fishing and the mowing and the truck beer drinking. And if I could just

truck beer drinking. And if I could just

truck beer drinking. And if I could just remind you, really just the important

remind you, really just the important

remind you, really just the important thing, feeding the dog. Again, I can't I

thing, feeding the dog. Again, I can't I

thing, feeding the dog. Again, I can't I can't stress this enough in the song

can't stress this enough in the song

can't stress this enough in the song between the beer and the boots and the

between the beer and the boots and the

between the beer and the boots and the fishing. Really just feed your dog

fishing. Really just feed your dog

fishing. Really just feed your dog every day, sir. I know it's hard,

but you know what? There was a bigger

but you know what? There was a bigger

but you know what? There was a bigger reason why TPUSA had to do their own

reason why TPUSA had to do their own

reason why TPUSA had to do their own halftime show. Because the NFL's

halftime show. Because the NFL's

halftime show. Because the NFL's halftime show failed its one true

halftime show failed its one true

halftime show failed its one true mandate.

mandate.

mandate. >> Doing a a halftime show in all Spanish

>> Doing a a halftime show in all Spanish

>> Doing a a halftime show in all Spanish is not unifying.

is not unifying.

is not unifying. >> The Super Bowl halftime show divided in

>> The Super Bowl halftime show divided in

>> The Super Bowl halftime show divided in a time that's supposed to be a unifying

a time that's supposed to be a unifying

a time that's supposed to be a unifying moment.

moment.

moment. >> They could have found somebody more

>> They could have found somebody more

>> They could have found somebody more uniting.

uniting.

uniting. Why the

Why the

Why the is it the Super Bowl halftime

is it the Super Bowl halftime

is it the Super Bowl halftime entertainers job

entertainers job

entertainers job to unify THE COUNTRY?

to unify THE COUNTRY?

to unify THE COUNTRY? IN what world

IN what world

IN what world is that their job? Oh,

is that their job? Oh,

is that their job? Oh, isn't there another person whose job

isn't there another person whose job

isn't there another person whose job description

description

description is much more along those lines? Let me

is much more along those lines? Let me

is much more along those lines? Let me ask YOU A QUESTION.

LET ME ASK.

LET ME ASK.

LET ME ASK. >> Don't make me get my yogurts.

What did that person do to unify the

What did that person do to unify the

What did that person do to unify the country?

country?

country? >> In a social media post, President Trump

>> In a social media post, President Trump

>> In a social media post, President Trump mocked Bad Bunny's performance, calling

mocked Bad Bunny's performance, calling

mocked Bad Bunny's performance, calling it quote, "Absolutely terrible, one of

it quote, "Absolutely terrible, one of

it quote, "Absolutely terrible, one of the worst ever." then adding quote

the worst ever." then adding quote

the worst ever." then adding quote nobody understands a word this guy is

nobody understands a word this guy is

nobody understands a word this guy is saying

saying

saying >> nobody

I love that he thinks Bad Bunny is the

I love that he thinks Bad Bunny is the

I love that he thinks Bad Bunny is the one guy in the world

one guy in the world

one guy in the world that's fluent in Spanish

that's fluent in Spanish

that's fluent in Spanish nobody understands it's a dead language

You know, the right has a lot of balls

You know, the right has a lot of balls

You know, the right has a lot of balls complaining that Bad Bunny didn't do

complaining that Bad Bunny didn't do

complaining that Bad Bunny didn't do enough to unify this country when you

enough to unify this country when you

enough to unify this country when you only found out a few days ago that

only found out a few days ago that

only found out a few days ago that Puerto Rico is a part of it.

Puerto Rico is a part of it.

Puerto Rico is a part of it. And be sure you get

And before YOU GET YOUR PANTIES in

And before YOU GET YOUR PANTIES in

And before YOU GET YOUR PANTIES in unscrion,

another unifying pro tip might be to

another unifying pro tip might be to

another unifying pro tip might be to tell your guy to stop tweeting out

tell your guy to stop tweeting out

tell your guy to stop tweeting out racist slop during, I don't know, Black

racist slop during, I don't know, Black

racist slop during, I don't know, Black History Month. The White House facing

History Month. The White House facing

History Month. The White House facing backlash over a racist depiction of the

backlash over a racist depiction of the

backlash over a racist depiction of the Obamas contained in a video post on the

Obamas contained in a video post on the

Obamas contained in a video post on the president's truth social account.

president's truth social account.

president's truth social account. >> At the end, the video suddenly flashed

>> At the end, the video suddenly flashed

>> At the end, the video suddenly flashed to a clip of the Obama's faces

to a clip of the Obama's faces

to a clip of the Obama's faces superimposed on the heads of cartoon

superimposed on the heads of cartoon

superimposed on the heads of cartoon apes. Oh, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, NO.

apes. Oh, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, NO.

apes. Oh, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, NO. BEFORE YOU GET UPSET, JUST know the

BEFORE YOU GET UPSET, JUST know the

BEFORE YOU GET UPSET, JUST know the racist video in question was not in

racist video in question was not in

racist video in question was not in Spanish.

Rest easy.

Rest easy.

Rest easy. We're starting to heal.

We're starting to heal.

We're starting to heal. I mean, if 20 minutes of Bad Bunny's

I mean, if 20 minutes of Bad Bunny's

I mean, if 20 minutes of Bad Bunny's halftime show destroyed the country's

halftime show destroyed the country's

halftime show destroyed the country's unity, I think even MAGA would be

unity, I think even MAGA would be

unity, I think even MAGA would be terribly upset that the unifier and

terribly upset that the unifier and

terribly upset that the unifier and chief would be sharing a video thising

chief would be sharing a video thising

chief would be sharing a video thising racist.

racist.

racist. Or or would they? I mean, this is

Or or would they? I mean, this is

Or or would they? I mean, this is probably crazy, but would they try and

probably crazy, but would they try and

probably crazy, but would they try and justify it?

justify it?

justify it? >> It wasn't a video that was racist. It

>> It wasn't a video that was racist. It

>> It wasn't a video that was racist. It was a video that ended with a racist

was a video that ended with a racist

was a video that ended with a racist thing,

thing,

thing, >> which doesn't make that's doesn't

>> which doesn't make that's doesn't

>> which doesn't make that's doesn't matter. IF YOU SAY the N word at the end

matter. IF YOU SAY the N word at the end

matter. IF YOU SAY the N word at the end of the sentence, it still ruins the

of the sentence, it still ruins the

of the sentence, it still ruins the whole sentence.

whole sentence.

whole sentence. There are certain things in this world

There are certain things in this world

There are certain things in this world where there are certain things in this

where there are certain things in this

where there are certain things in this world where placement is less important

world where placement is less important

world where placement is less important than presence. Oh, I don't have gorrhea.

than presence. Oh, I don't have gorrhea.

than presence. Oh, I don't have gorrhea. The tip of my PENIS HAS GORRHEA.

YOU'RE GOING TO YOU'RE GOING TO JUDGE MY

YOU'RE GOING TO YOU'RE GOING TO JUDGE MY

YOU'RE GOING TO YOU'RE GOING TO JUDGE MY ENTIRE penis

ENTIRE penis

ENTIRE penis by the goric tip. Who's the racist now?

Can we at least all agree that the last

Can we at least all agree that the last

Can we at least all agree that the last part where HE COMPARED THE OBAMAS TO

part where HE COMPARED THE OBAMAS TO

part where HE COMPARED THE OBAMAS TO APES WAS definitely racist? At the end

APES WAS definitely racist? At the end

APES WAS definitely racist? At the end of the day, human beings often point to

of the day, human beings often point to

of the day, human beings often point to other human beings and notice that they

other human beings and notice that they

other human beings and notice that they kind of look like this animal or that

kind of look like this animal or that

kind of look like this animal or that animal. COME ON.

animal. COME ON.

animal. COME ON. BUT THERE ARE, you know, certain

BUT THERE ARE, you know, certain

BUT THERE ARE, you know, certain anthropomorphic comparisons that

anthropomorphic comparisons that

anthropomorphic comparisons that historically have been used to justify,

historically have been used to justify,

historically have been used to justify, oh, I don't know, slavery. But go ahead.

oh, I don't know, slavery. But go ahead.

oh, I don't know, slavery. But go ahead. I apologize for interrupting you.

I apologize for interrupting you.

I apologize for interrupting you. >> I did know a girl that looked like a guy

>> I did know a girl that looked like a guy

>> I did know a girl that looked like a guy that looked like a monkey, but he was

that looked like a monkey, but he was

that looked like a monkey, but he was white. He was my friend Joey, and he was

white. He was my friend Joey, and he was

white. He was my friend Joey, and he was white.

So, in terms of racist justifications,

So, in terms of racist justifications,

So, in terms of racist justifications, he's blown right PAST THE I HAVE A BLACK

he's blown right PAST THE I HAVE A BLACK

he's blown right PAST THE I HAVE A BLACK friend

friend

friend and moved RIGHT INTO THE I HAVE A WHITE

and moved RIGHT INTO THE I HAVE A WHITE

and moved RIGHT INTO THE I HAVE A WHITE FRIEND who looks like a monkey.

And poor Joey.

And poor Joey.

And poor Joey. Poor white friend Joey.

Poor white friend Joey.

Poor white friend Joey. What a way to find out you've got

What a way to find out you've got

What a way to find out you've got

What a way to find out you've got resting primate face.

POOR MOTHER JOEY PROBABLY SITTING AT

POOR MOTHER JOEY PROBABLY SITTING AT

POOR MOTHER JOEY PROBABLY SITTING AT home

home

home watching his watching his friend on

watching his watching his friend on

watching his watching his friend on television.

television.

television. picking knits out of his wife's hair

>> and then he's got to look up AND BE

>> and then he's got to look up AND BE

>> and then he's got to look up AND BE LIKE, "WHAT THAT GUY SAY? ME?"

AH, JOEY MATT. JOEY THROW POOP AT TV.

AH, JOEY MATT. JOEY THROW POOP AT TV.

AH, JOEY MATT. JOEY THROW POOP AT TV. JOEY JOEY THROW POOP AND JERK OFF and

JOEY JOEY THROW POOP AND JERK OFF and

JOEY JOEY THROW POOP AND JERK OFF and throw a demon AND POOP AND THEN DEMON

throw a demon AND POOP AND THEN DEMON

throw a demon AND POOP AND THEN DEMON AND THEN POOP.

Not not even the cameramen have heard

Not not even the cameramen have heard

Not not even the cameramen have heard all this

all this

all this >> WE'RE GOING OFF SCRIPT TONIGHT, MOTHER.

I got to tell you, this video was SO BAD

I got to tell you, this video was SO BAD

I got to tell you, this video was SO BAD THERE WERE ACTUAL REPUBLICANS who

THERE WERE ACTUAL REPUBLICANS who

THERE WERE ACTUAL REPUBLICANS who criticized it. Senator Tim Scott of

criticized it. Senator Tim Scott of

criticized it. Senator Tim Scott of South Carolina, the Senate's only black

South Carolina, the Senate's only black

South Carolina, the Senate's only black Republican, calling the president's post

Republican, calling the president's post

Republican, calling the president's post the most racist thing I've seen out of

the most racist thing I've seen out of

the most racist thing I've seen out of this White House.

this White House.

this White House. >> Wow. By the way, uh Tim Scott's face,

>> Wow. By the way, uh Tim Scott's face,

>> Wow. By the way, uh Tim Scott's face, that is the face almost all Republicans

that is the face almost all Republicans

that is the face almost all Republicans make in private when they've been told

make in private when they've been told

make in private when they've been told what Trump said.

But seriously though, Senator, is it the

But seriously though, Senator, is it the

But seriously though, Senator, is it the most racist thing that's come out of

most racist thing that's come out of

most racist thing that's come out of this White House? Well, survey says

this White House? Well, survey says

this White House? Well, survey says It is.

>> Congratulations.

>> Congratulations.

>> Congratulations. You've won the opportunity to probably

You've won the opportunity to probably

You've won the opportunity to probably have to say this again next week.

have to say this again next week.

have to say this again next week. But Tim Scott's criticism FORCED THE

But Tim Scott's criticism FORCED THE

But Tim Scott's criticism FORCED THE PRESIDENT TO delete the video, which

PRESIDENT TO delete the video, which

PRESIDENT TO delete the video, which puts the president in an uncomfortable

puts the president in an uncomfortable

puts the president in an uncomfortable position. A Sophie's choice. He deleted

position. A Sophie's choice. He deleted

position. A Sophie's choice. He deleted the video. Does he admit that he's

the video. Does he admit that he's

the video. Does he admit that he's racist or does he admit that he just

racist or does he admit that he just

racist or does he admit that he just made a simple mistake? Let's see how he

made a simple mistake? Let's see how he

made a simple mistake? Let's see how he threads the needle.

threads the needle.

threads the needle. >> Mr. President, a number of Republicans

>> Mr. President, a number of Republicans

>> Mr. President, a number of Republicans are calling on you to apologize for that

are calling on you to apologize for that

are calling on you to apologize for that post. Is that something you're going to

post. Is that something you're going to

post. Is that something you're going to do?

do?

do? >> No, I didn't make a mistake. So, we're

>> No, I didn't make a mistake. So, we're

>> No, I didn't make a mistake. So, we're going with racist.

going with racist.

going with racist. >> But of course, in the example of a

>> But of course, in the example of a

>> But of course, in the example of a performer you don't particularly care

performer you don't particularly care

performer you don't particularly care for, the upset is justified. But in the

for, the upset is justified. But in the

for, the upset is justified. But in the example of the president of the United

example of the president of the United

example of the president of the United States sharing a racist meme, well, get

States sharing a racist meme, well, get

States sharing a racist meme, well, get over yourselves. Press Secretary Carolyn

over yourselves. Press Secretary Carolyn

over yourselves. Press Secretary Carolyn Levit said, and I quote, "Please stop

Levit said, and I quote, "Please stop

Levit said, and I quote, "Please stop the fake outrage and report on something

the fake outrage and report on something

the fake outrage and report on something today that actually matters to the

today that actually matters to the

today that actually matters to the American public," which ising crazy

American public," which ising crazy

American public," which ising crazy because at this point in the MAGA

because at this point in the MAGA

because at this point in the MAGA movement, all they have is fake outrage.

movement, all they have is fake outrage.

movement, all they have is fake outrage. Olympic outrage. American freestyle

Olympic outrage. American freestyle

Olympic outrage. American freestyle skiers are facing backlash following

skiers are facing backlash following

skiers are facing backlash following controversial comments made about

controversial comments made about

controversial comments made about representing the US. what many call

representing the US. what many call

representing the US. what many call anti-American rhetoric.

anti-American rhetoric.

anti-American rhetoric. >> I'm disgusted by it.

>> I'm disgusted by it.

>> I'm disgusted by it. >> It's so upsetting.

>> It's so upsetting.

>> It's so upsetting. >> It's so inappropriate.

>> It's so inappropriate.

>> It's so inappropriate. >> This guy hates his country. He's clearly

>> This guy hates his country. He's clearly

>> This guy hates his country. He's clearly ashamed to be wearing the flag.

ashamed to be wearing the flag.

ashamed to be wearing the flag. >> Go back home to Oregon in this case and

>> Go back home to Oregon in this case and

>> Go back home to Oregon in this case and march with Antifa.

march with Antifa.

march with Antifa. >> What?

>> What?

>> What? Sir, think this through. DO YOU WANT OUR

Sir, think this through. DO YOU WANT OUR

Sir, think this through. DO YOU WANT OUR NATION'S GREATEST ATHLETES JOINING

NATION'S GREATEST ATHLETES JOINING

NATION'S GREATEST ATHLETES JOINING ANTIFA?

ANTIFA?

ANTIFA? >> WHAT?

>> WHAT?

>> WHAT? This is not the solution you think. Sir,

This is not the solution you think. Sir,

This is not the solution you think. Sir, you have abs of steel and powerful

you have abs of steel and powerful

you have abs of steel and powerful glutes.

glutes.

glutes. grab a black bandana and get in the

grab a black bandana and get in the

grab a black bandana and get in the fight.

fight.

fight. But oh my god, I just first I'm here.

But oh my god, I just first I'm here.

But oh my god, I just first I'm here. What did this Olympian say? It must be

What did this Olympian say? It must be

What did this Olympian say? It must be way more upsetting and outrageous than

way more upsetting and outrageous than

way more upsetting and outrageous than what the president of the United States

what the president of the United States

what the president of the United States racist memes are.

racist memes are.

racist memes are. >> It brings up mixed emotions to represent

>> It brings up mixed emotions to represent

>> It brings up mixed emotions to represent the US right now. I think um it's a

the US right now. I think um it's a

the US right now. I think um it's a little hard. Um there's obviously a lot

little hard. Um there's obviously a lot

little hard. Um there's obviously a lot going on that I'm not the biggest fan

going on that I'm not the biggest fan

going on that I'm not the biggest fan of.

That That's the hatemongering.

That That's the hatemongering.

That That's the hatemongering. That's the most laid-back mongering.

That's the most laid-back mongering.

That's the most laid-back mongering. That was like the hacky sack of

That was like the hacky sack of

That was like the hacky sack of political condemnation.

political condemnation.

political condemnation. It's like, bro,

It's like, bro,

It's like, bro, I feel like right now

I feel like right now

I feel like right now The country shouldn't be swag. It should

The country shouldn't be swag. It should

The country shouldn't be swag. It should be diggity dank.

And by the way, MAGA, you want to hear

And by the way, MAGA, you want to hear

And by the way, MAGA, you want to hear the good straight up anti-American

the good straight up anti-American

the good straight up anti-American Talk to your boss. Our country is now a

Talk to your boss. Our country is now a

Talk to your boss. Our country is now a cesspool. We are a nation in decline.

cesspool. We are a nation in decline.

cesspool. We are a nation in decline. We're in a failing country. We're in a

We're in a failing country. We're in a

We're in a failing country. We're in a country that's being laughed at. We're a

country that's being laughed at. We're a

country that's being laughed at. We're a dumping ground. We're like a We're like

dumping ground. We're like a We're like

dumping ground. We're like a We're like a garbage can. Our country is going to

a garbage can. Our country is going to

a garbage can. Our country is going to hell. We have blood, death, and

hell. We have blood, death, and

hell. We have blood, death, and suffering on a scale once unthinkable.

suffering on a scale once unthinkable.

suffering on a scale once unthinkable. >> A third world hell hole ruled by

>> A third world hell hole ruled by

>> A third world hell hole ruled by sensors, perverts, criminals, and thugs.

>> I I mean, after reading the Epstein

>> I I mean, after reading the Epstein

>> I I mean, after reading the Epstein files, it's hard to argue with the last

files, it's hard to argue with the last

files, it's hard to argue with the last part.

part.

part. That boy I

ANYWAY, THIS BETTER GO BACK

ANYWAY, THIS BETTER GO BACK

ANYWAY, THIS BETTER GO BACK TO OREGON AND JOIN ANTIFA.

TO OREGON AND JOIN ANTIFA.

TO OREGON AND JOIN ANTIFA. SO WAIT, so why are you bothered by the

SO WAIT, so why are you bothered by the

SO WAIT, so why are you bothered by the I don't know, man. Things feel pretty

I don't know, man. Things feel pretty

I don't know, man. Things feel pretty bad there and kind of conflicted and not

bad there and kind of conflicted and not

bad there and kind of conflicted and not bothered by the straightup anti-American

bothered by the straightup anti-American

bothered by the straightup anti-American vitriol from dear leader.

vitriol from dear leader.

vitriol from dear leader. >> How about you're wearing the flag? Uh

>> How about you're wearing the flag? Uh

>> How about you're wearing the flag? Uh you were representing your country and

you were representing your country and

you were representing your country and you can save your other comments for

you can save your other comments for

you can save your other comments for when you're not wearing the flag.

when you're not wearing the flag.

when you're not wearing the flag. >> That's it's a flag. Son of a I didn't

>> That's it's a flag. Son of a I didn't

>> That's it's a flag. Son of a I didn't think it's a flag. Freedom of speech

think it's a flag. Freedom of speech

think it's a flag. Freedom of speech very clearly states you cannot shout

very clearly states you cannot shout

very clearly states you cannot shout fire in a crowd at theater or smack talk

fire in a crowd at theater or smack talk

fire in a crowd at theater or smack talk America while sporting any national

America while sporting any national

America while sporting any national symbols. That's it's right. So, if I

symbols. That's it's right. So, if I

symbols. That's it's right. So, if I were to show you, let's say, a video of

were to show you, let's say, a video of

were to show you, let's say, a video of President Donald Jesus Trump shinning on

President Donald Jesus Trump shinning on

President Donald Jesus Trump shinning on America and Americans

America and Americans

America and Americans while sporting the very insignia that

while sporting the very insignia that

while sporting the very insignia that you deem so sacred. What if I showed you

you deem so sacred. What if I showed you

you deem so sacred. What if I showed you a video like that? I'M SURE YOU'D JUST

a video like that? I'M SURE YOU'D JUST

a video like that? I'M SURE YOU'D JUST SHOW THEM.

SHOW THEM.

SHOW THEM. >> This country has gotten bloated and fat

>> This country has gotten bloated and fat

>> This country has gotten bloated and fat and disgusting.

and disgusting.

and disgusting. >> Oh, and look what he's wearing,

>> Oh, and look what he's wearing,

>> Oh, and look what he's wearing, HE'S WEARING THE FLAG ON

HE'S WEARING THE FLAG ON

HE'S WEARING THE FLAG ON America and Americans. Oh, but that's a

America and Americans. Oh, but that's a

America and Americans. Oh, but that's a pin. It's got to be cloth and sewn on.

pin. It's got to be cloth and sewn on.

pin. It's got to be cloth and sewn on. And don't say, "Oh, yeah, but Donald

And don't say, "Oh, yeah, but Donald

And don't say, "Oh, yeah, but Donald Trump wasn't overseas." Cuz we have

Trump wasn't overseas." Cuz we have

Trump wasn't overseas." Cuz we have video of Donald Trump is holding America

video of Donald Trump is holding America

video of Donald Trump is holding America while standing next to Putin in Finland.

while standing next to Putin in Finland.

while standing next to Putin in Finland. And don't say, "Well, the skier was dry

And don't say, "Well, the skier was dry

And don't say, "Well, the skier was dry humping our beautiful flag." No, that

humping our beautiful flag." No, that

humping our beautiful flag." No, that was your guy. SO, THE POINT IS THIS.

was your guy. SO, THE POINT IS THIS.

was your guy. SO, THE POINT IS THIS. When did the right become suching

When

When

When when?

Remember 2017?

Remember 2017?

Remember 2017? Remember what you hated ABOUT LIBERALS?

Remember what you hated ABOUT LIBERALS?

Remember what you hated ABOUT LIBERALS? OH, PERPETUALLY OFFENDED. SAFE SPACES,

OH, PERPETUALLY OFFENDED. SAFE SPACES,

OH, PERPETUALLY OFFENDED. SAFE SPACES, censoring free speech, culture of

censoring free speech, culture of

censoring free speech, culture of victimhood.

victimhood.

victimhood. Remind you of anyone?

Remind you of anyone?

Remind you of anyone? Oh, I can't go 15 minutes without

Oh, I can't go 15 minutes without

Oh, I can't go 15 minutes without listening to country music. I need a

listening to country music. I need a

listening to country music. I need a separate show. Oh, that skier triggered

separate show. Oh, that skier triggered

separate show. Oh, that skier triggered me. I can't sleep.

Not the best imitation, but you know

Not the best imitation, but you know

Not the best imitation, but you know what I'm going for.

This whole culture war this weekend has

This whole culture war this weekend has

This whole culture war this weekend has really demonstrated one thing. It's that

really demonstrated one thing. It's that

really demonstrated one thing. It's that for all of MAGA's triumphalism, it's not

for all of MAGA's triumphalism, it's not

for all of MAGA's triumphalism, it's not a movement that seems confident in its

a movement that seems confident in its

a movement that seems confident in its position. These people who control every

position. These people who control every

position. These people who control every branch of government are so triggered by

branch of government are so triggered by

branch of government are so triggered by someone singing in Spanish for 20

someone singing in Spanish for 20

someone singing in Spanish for 20 minutes, they need to create their own

minutes, they need to create their own

minutes, they need to create their own safe space alternative halftime show

safe space alternative halftime show

safe space alternative halftime show where Trad Bunny over here is singing

where Trad Bunny over here is singing

where Trad Bunny over here is singing songs about how he can't even enjoy

songs about how he can't even enjoy

songs about how he can't even enjoy sitting in a truck and drinking beer cuz

sitting in a truck and drinking beer cuz

sitting in a truck and drinking beer cuz he knows that somewhere out there

he knows that somewhere out there

he knows that somewhere out there there's a trans person.

there's a trans person.

there's a trans person. It's actually

It's actually

It's actually pathetic.

pathetic.

pathetic. The gap between the power you all wield.

The gap between the power you all wield.

The gap between the power you all wield. I'm not done.

I'm not done.

I'm not done. The gap between the power you all wield

The gap between the power you all wield

The gap between the power you all wield and the victimhood you all claim is the

and the victimhood you all claim is the

and the victimhood you all claim is the real offense. If you didn't actually

real offense. If you didn't actually

real offense. If you didn't actually have the power to do so much damage in

have the power to do so much damage in

have the power to do so much damage in our country, I think we all dismiss it

our country, I think we all dismiss it

our country, I think we all dismiss it as a weak and pathetic pity party.

as a weak and pathetic pity party.

as a weak and pathetic pity party. That's what you're throwing.

That's what you're throwing.

That's what you're throwing. What kind of snacks would you have at a

What kind of snacks would you have at a

What kind of snacks would you have at a weak and pathetic pity party

weak and pathetic pity party

weak and pathetic pity party yogurt? That's right.