Original subtitles

No way!

Er... Gosh!

Where's the hole?!

Ah! Ahh!

Are you having a laugh?

Hello!

Hello, everybody.

I'm Greg Davies, welcome to Taskmaster.

It's episode seven, and it's at this point in the competition

when the mood shifts and the real battle begins.

Tactics start to come into play,

and contestants become ruthless warriors intent on victory.

And I wouldn't reveal what I've heard backstage,

cos I don't want to change your perception of any one person.

But as an example, yesterday,

I overheard an unnamed individual say,

"I won't return to Ireland until I've destroyed them all."

Let's get on with it,

and welcome our titans of task once more!

They are Ardal O'Hanlon...

Bridget Christie...

Chris Ramsey...

judi Love...

and Sophie Duker!

And next to me, the answer to the question,

"Who's Greg throwing chicken at?" It's...

"little Alex Horne!

CHEERS AND APPLAUSE Hello.

What's the prize task, you fool?

Yes, this one has universal appeal,

because they've been asked to bring in

the nicest thing to put your finger in.

This is a Bafta-winning show.

The owner of the thing the Taskmaster thinks is the nicest

thing to put his finger in will be awarded five points.

And, at the end of the episode, the winner will take home

five finger-worthy things.

Yes, it's a really glove-ly prize.

I know. I know.

Ardal O'Hanlon, what would I like to pop my finger in?

Uh, I've brought in a finger puppet.

Ah. Well, not just any finger puppet.

I brought in Dr Jerry.

Erm... Dr Jerry Flynn, er, he's...

I should point out he's not a real doctor.

He's more of a life coach.

Can you just give me one example of the advice Dr Jerry might give you?

I asked him, "Should I come on Taskmaster?"

And I should've taken his advice.

It's a strong opener. OK.

Chris, can you beat an insane finger puppet?

I have brought in not a finger puppet...

a finger monster. Ooh. Oh.

Watch out for the scary monster, Greg, here it comes.

Here it is! Eh? Ohh.

I remember those.

Are they soft? Are they soft?

Yeah, soft, rubbery, really feels lovely to put your finger in.

Hm.

They were a big feature of my youth, these.

I'm surprised they've lasted into your generation.

I thought they were...

No, they started in the '50s, and they are still around.

He's really tapped into my youth, back in the '50s,

when I was down the doo-wop.

Erm, Bridget, what have you brought in?

Fa rt putty!

Oh, fart putty, good.

It's really cold, and really feels so good.

But also goes...

We do actually have a video of it doing that noise.

Here we go!

It sounds better than that normally.

Does it? When I had my daughter, she was induced,

and the doctor had to break my waters.

They used, like, a little hook...

But he was really nervous and kept doing it wrong.

So, he kept going in and out, and it was like...

Anyway, so when I had to try and make him feel more relaxed,

I was like, "Oh, weren't you wearing a watch a minute ago?"

And he was, like, in and out, and I was like,

"Ah, this is like that fart putty."

Ah. Whoa'.

It's funny, innit?

I'm sort of surprised that we've arrived at this destination

when we got on at Silly Putty Station.

Judi.

I've brought in warm custard.

It's gotta be a bigger bowl, though. It's gotta be a bigger bowl.

Oh, you put your whole head in?

Well, you know, sometimes once you put the fingers in,

you do want to put your face in.

Sophie, what have you brought in?

I know that you, as the Taskmaster, you like to control us like we're

your own tiny little puppets.

I do.

I've brought the closest thing to me that I could bring

to this competition. Oh, my God.

I've brought Jane.

I found her in a charity shop.

She was wearing a different outfit then, obviously.

I put her in my Taskmaster outfit.

What's she called again? Jane Norman.

Why have they got second names?

So, is she a puppet-puppet? She's a puppet-puppet.

But the key finger goes in her brain.

The index finger is powering Jane's, basically, sense of being.

So, she doesn't talk, she just sits with her mouth agawp?

What she doesn't talk? She does talk. Ha!

Here's the thing,

the monsters, they remind me so powerfully of my youth that...

Same...| can't separate them from putting my finger in

a bowl of warm custard.

And I still think farts are hilarious, now that I've

disassociated it from Bridget's womb.

So, I'm going to give three points to you three.

I'm going to give four points to Jane Norman, because clearly,

Ardal really needs Dr Jerry Flynn.

And I'll give him five points for that.

There you go, Ardal O'Hanlon gets five points!

Alex Horne, you will play me a sweet, sweet video.

I will, but first, watch me do this.

Judi Love. Hi, babes.

Hiya. Hi, Sophie.

Bridget. What?

I hope more people call me that from now on. What, babes? Yeah.

See what I'm going to call you after I read this.

"Show off.

"Biggest show-off wins."

"You have 20 minutes."

"Your time starts now."

Show off? Yeah.

I don't know how to show off, babes.

I can't wait to see these guys show off.

Yes, it's a tough task. Tough.

They had to boastfully display their abilities or accomplishments.

And first up, forget about the silly Citizens Advice Bureau,

we've got a much better CAB...

It's Chris, Ardal, and Bridget.

Oh, God where do I start?

Start by, I suppose, juggling bricks.

OK.

OK.

I have an idea. I'll be back.

Have you got a gun?

No.

I'm going to do one thing that my dad taught us that I think

I might be able to do.

So, no guns, no?

No.

Have you got an axe?

No.

I'm going to see how many balls I can get in there.

Great.

Oh.

Oh.

Come on. Oh!

Ooh.

Are you trying to knock it off, or get it in it? Get it in. Ah.

I might pop it just down here for now.

That would've been much better with some sort of gun.

Right, I should try the yellow one.

I think it's cos the, er... buckets aren't heavy enough.

Moment of truth.

I might've been a bit too ambitious, with what I can do here.

Thanks, Chris.

You were inside for 14 minutes, Ardal.

Well, I think you'll see the time was not wasted.

I'm going to balance this wooden spoon on my chin.

You see? Oh. Yeah.

OK, thanks, then. Thanks, Bridget. Yeah, bye, then. I enjoyed that.

Yeah, thanks.

I can do this, as well.

I can do it for ages.

Doesn't hurt.

Hurts a little bit now.

OK.

Oh, all so enjoyable for such different reasons.

Bridget and I'm not normally this direct, erm,

what's wrong with you?

I thought, "Don't try and do something else.

"Stay with the balls. Don't give up."

Believe in yourself. Believe in yourself.

You've got to back yourself — If you won't back yourself,

who'll back you, right? Nobody.

Dr Jeffy-

I'm telling you this — I'm fascinated by what went on in

the 14 minutes of absence.

14 minutes... Yeah... of absence.

And you came back, I think, with glitter in your hair. Yes.

Er, and you conclusively proved that

you're incapable of balancing a spoon on your chin.

I am fundamentally incapable of showing off.

I come from a place where showing off is, like,

the worst thing you can do.

People in my town won't wear high-vis jackets, because...

It's true!

Erm, Chris, look at the reaction your dad gained you.

It was... |—| thought... ..fever pitch in here.

Honestly, that's better than some gigs I've done, that.

What's his name, your dad? Er, Bill.

Well played, Bill!

And if that display of talent hasn't done enough to guarantee your return

after the break, that is 100% fair enough.

No hard feelings, look after yourselves. Bye!

Welcome back, and hurry up! We've already started.

Yes, we've already nearly finished.

It's now time to head to the stage

for the final task of the show!

Not really, I'm just having a bit of a laugh with everyone.

His face... Before the break, Ardal and Bridget proved that they

aren't really show-offs in a task where the biggest show-off wins.

Next up, here's how Sophie and Judi got on.

That is so cringey.

Going to have to tell jokes.

You'll have to come to my show and see that — my sold-out show.

Erm, I'm a Loose Woman, as well.

Do you know what I mean?

Won an award.

"But soft, what light through yonder windows breaks?

"It is the east, and Juliet is the sun."

I've met some famous people.

Blige,

Kevin Hart, H-Town, jodeci.

"Arise, fair sun, and kill the envious moon, who is already sick

"and pale with grief that thou, her maid,

"art far more fair than she."

I feel like I'm in the popular mums' WhatsApp group.

"Be not her maid, since she is envious.

"Her best delivery is but sick and green, and numb,

"but fools do wear it.

"Cast it off."

I go to my most favourite local West Indian shop,

always get a little discount in there.

Lidl's have sent me free stuff before.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh! To all the mums out there — I had two kids.

Had no stitches, no stitches.

I mean, clench-clench.

I mean, I can touch my toes.

Both of them at the same time.

Like, good with the kids.

Got close train station.

I've got loads of lovely, luscious parks around me.

I mean, honestly, Mumma didn't raise no fool.

I can fry evenly four fish fingers,

four, all at the same time.

All come out golden-y.

Ooh!

Done? I think so. Yeah? Yeah.

5Y9“ bye. Bye,

That was really cringey and uncomfortable.

We had to force it out of you.

Quite the contrast.

To the extent that I don't really know where to start.

I suppose the most marked contrast was when Sophie was underwater,

having performed Shakespeare,

and judi was bragging about how good she is at frying fish fingers.

To me, it's like a national dish.

When you can fry four of them at the same time evenly,

and they come out golden — Hello, I'm that bitch. Hello.

She was handcuffed and underwater!

I think it was really good. Yeah.

But I would just argue that, that could've been footage

of Judi in any task.

At any time.

I've got some great favourites.

She gets a lot of emails. That's not bad.

The fourth-last one was, "I have borrowed a dog."

That was, that was... Hello?

That's the kind of life that I live, that I can borrow a dog when I want.

"I can borrow a dog whenever I want?"

I've got a picture of it! I believe you can do it.

No, we believe you!

Judi, Sophie was performing Shakespeare.

I gave you culture.

Literature.

Water.

Here's how I'm going to score it.

Oh, good. And I feel a bit mean, because actually, Bridget.

Oh, not aga...

LAUGHTER What is wrong with you?

So, worse than Ardal? What?

I can't believe it!

Sometimes absence is more powerful than presence.

And then, there was the glitter!

I'm going to give him an extra point than you.

Fine. Go on, then.

I hope you can sleep tonight.

I'll be fine.

OK, so it's two points to Ardal O'Hanlon.

Yeah, and judi — I felt like there was a drop-off in quality.

'Course. She started big, and she went to Lidl.

No of fence, Lidl. No of fence, Lidl.

We had a classic bit of clowning,

and then, we had one of the strangest sections of showing off

I've ever seen by combining escapology with Shakespeare...

And having a bath. ..and having a bath.

I'll change my mind slightly.

I'll pop them at the top of the pile with five points each.

I'm going to bring judi up to four.

OK. I'm going to bring Ardal up to three...

Uh-uh... and I'm going to give you two points now.

Yeah, that's cheered her up.

There we go so, it's five points to Chris and Sophie!

There it is.

Let's have a scoreboard, please, little Alex Horne. 'Course.

Bridget's on five at the bottom.

Sophie's at the top with nine points!

What's next?!

Team drinks!

Gentlemen. There we go.

Hello. Oh, hello, Ardal.

Hiya.

Hi, team.

Oh, hi.

Well, you look really cool.

But please, could you now put on your hats?

Oh, God.

And if one of you could pick up the task.

Oh, I'm not able to. Oh, I must try again.

Oh, couldn't do it, then. Er, I'll help you.

Shall I get it? It doesn't say, I mean...

Yeah, you get it babes.

"Deliver a cocktail to Greg."

"Deliver a cocktail to Greg."

Who's Greg?

"Your cocktail must have the following ingredients.

"Every ingredient must pass through a head pipe before

"entering the Taskmaster's glass."

"Fastest wins."

"Your time starts now, and ends when you have garnished

"your cocktail with the umbrella."

So, we're looking for fruits and liquids.

Oh, I cannae see a glass either.

I don't like this at all.

This must be what an anteater feels like. OK.

Did I hearjudi say, "Who's Greg"?

No, I said — I thought you said "Heg". Heg.

LAUGHTER Oh, good.

And congratulations to Bridget, as well, for being the only person

of all five of them to work out that knees bend.

Thank you.

OK, here we go.

OK, I see some juice over there. Yeah, OK, right.

Chris! What?

I have some liquids. And some fruit. Ooh!

How many cocktails?

All the information's on the task, Judi.

Er...

Ah!

Where's the glass?

Oh, it's in here, it's in here, it's in here!

Here, babes, just put this in your hole.

Going to put this in your hole.

You need to put your pipe over there,

so I can put this down your hole.

Guys, I've got quite a heavy bucket of ice.

Where? Here. Ah!

Girl, you're strong.

Ah!

Ah! Ahh!

Oh, my God.

Shall we swap? I'll do that. Yeah.

That's one liquid. Just a tiny segment is all we need.

This. Got it stuck. Oh!

Put too much in.

OK, well, let me just put it through yours, then.

That's it, hold still, hold still.

This feels really demeaning.

Have you got the banana in? It's slipping out, hold on.

Can you not use your hand?

Hey. Hey, there's orange in there!

The orange is in there.

Nice, right, we need to leave room for the ice now. OK.

There's quite a bit of ice. Right, so start layering the ice in.

Plop, plop. plop-

Oh.

I'll stir it, now.

I'm getting another liquid.

Quite a bit of ice.

That's me shaking it.

We just need one more liquid, then we've done it.

It needs to be shaken and stirred, so we might need a cocktail shaker.

Right.

Yeah, why don't we make it out of this bucket?

I'll go and get a lid.

I've got a lid.

That's the sexiest thing I've ever seen.

And we need to stir as well. There we go.

Shit. Is this a full one?

Argh! Oh!

Go forward.

I've stopped the clock. Great teamwork, everyone.

Go on.

Perfect.

I think Taskmaster will really love this.

If this goes through the pipe, like, we just can't be beaten.

Did it go in? No.

No?

Ice time.

Come on, fire it in. Thanks, mate.

Faster, faster!

Remember Tom Cruise in Cocktail.

OK, swap over. You go... you go down and I'll do the ice. Yeah, yeah.

Nice.

Give us a bit of fruit.

Yeah, fruit! You ready?

We should stoop down low, when we're giving it to him. Yeah.

That's your classic NeGREG|.

Well, interesting team dynamic.

Sophie's job seemed to be screaming and breaking things.

Judi seemed to be eating half a banana,

and then, repeatedly threatening to put a banana down someone's hole.

And Bridget did the rest of the stuff

and exercised some common sense.

That's the way I see it. Yes.

It's a rare moment in the series,

where Bridget is the voice of reason.

I mean, the obvious highlight is Ardal's arse lid that he created.

Like Tom Cruise, isn't it? It's like Tom Cruise. just like Tom Cruise.

Well, unlike the girls, we actually used a cocktail shaker.

I mean... They should've used a traditional cocktail shaker

just like you did, Ardal. Yes.

Yes. Were the boys faster than the girls?

Oh, it took three times as long as the girls.

No way! Oh, dear, oh, dear, oh, dean

So, 13:27 minutes versus 4:30 minutes.

So, the girls 100% five points.

But the boys have to be rewarded in some way.

They did complete the task.

I'm going to give them two points each. I think that's fair.

Oh, three, come on. Are you trying to question Greg's authority?

You didn't know who I fucking was a minute ago!

Right, time for a power nap. Three, two, one, sleep.

Hello! Hello, again.

You join us in the middle of a messy work outing.

We've had some drinks, so now we've got the munchies.

Hi, Bridget.

Oh, I haven't seen one of these for years!

Am I about to reveal the budget?

I hope so.

Sculpt the most beautiful sculpture.

Your sculpture must weigh exactly 150g and be entirely edible.

That means that you can eat it.

You have five minutes to order your ingredients.

Then, 20 minutes to sculpt your sculpture.

Do you mind reading the rest of it out loud?

No, no, cos I need time to think. Right.

Your time starts, now.

Can I have flour?

500g of butter.

For your 150g... Can I get 200g of butter, please? Yeah.

Can I find that 150g before I say the last line?

Do you want me to go and get you a scale? Yes, please. OK.

Um... I suppose tofu...

although it's not... it's not edible.

All I'm thinking of is cheese. All I can think of is cheese.

Look can I have steak?

But it has to be cooked. No!

Urghg

Some scales there.

Oh, half a mug.

Half a mug?

And it's got to be the most beautiful sculpture

you've ever seen.

You don't have to make it out of the mug.

You can make it out of something lighter than a mug.

Flour, eggs, milk, butter, a rolling pin...

Get some Dairylea triangles.

Have you read out the rest of the task, yet? No. No, right.

Can I get bananas?

Spaghetti!

Bread?

Your time starts, now.

Well, I'm very keen to get on and see the creative process.

Course, you are.

First, we're going to see Chris' out-of-this-world sculpture.

Lovely.

Oh, shit. That's 65 already.

I'm stress eating.

Oh, that is nice. Oh, I do like a bit of cheese.

144. I think that's OK.

You think that's 150?

It has to be 150, not less than?

Oh, no.

I'll just make the cheese ball bigger.

That's too big.

Not nice, that.

150.

Great.

OK.

Right, so, that just stands up on there.

Ta-da!

Do you know what it is?

Mercury, Venus, Earth, Mars, Jupiter — big gassy ball,

Saturn — got rings, two fried eggs.

Pluto — declassified, mate. Not a planet. Don't worry about it.

Thank you very much, Chris.

Thank you. Be very careful with that.

Will do. Sorry, before you go...

Yeah... one more.

Oh, God.

F...

Completely consume your beautiful sculpture.

Fastest wins. Your time starts, now.

God, I hate you.

I hate you so much.

This is terrible.

There goes Jupiter.

Wish it was all gas. It's not, it's cheese.

It's so dry!

Urghg

I haven't ate raw spaghetti, since I was a kid. I can't do it.

Stop the clock.

Well, I mean, it's a magical sculpture, first of all.

Lovely little detail at the end with the blueberry as well.

The declassified. Yeah, it was wonderful.

Wonderful. Really nice.

And you are going to judge this on the beauty of the sculpture,

and then, the speed of the consuming,

so it's two tasks, really.

Well, let's be honest, he didn't complete the consuming.

13g was unconsumed cos he said he's not a child any more,

so he's not going to eat uncooked spaghetti.

Did you used to... did you used to eat uncooked spaghetti as a child?

I did used to eat uncooked spaghetti.

I did as well, and sometimes, alone.

Well, I mean, it's not a group activity.

Who's next?

Next up, it's the unsuspecting Ardal and Judi.

Check that these are real.

I'm going to strain the bread.

I mean, this is not sticking, is it?

I'm just going to leave that to set.

Are you making anything in particular, Judi?

This is a tower of love.

I'm going to craft something beautiful.

I think it's going to be a ballerina.

A ballerina?

We're up to 98g.

God, these little strawberries are heavy, aren't they?

How much does your ballerina weigh?

She weighs 158.

So, maybe I'll take off the arm.

Oh, I mean, honestly, look at that shit.

Hasn't quite set, yet.

No.

I just want to make her tutu a slightly different colour.

So, you're rubbing jelly on it?

1509-

OK.

Well, congratulations.

Congratulations!

Oh, my God.

And that is for you.

Well done.

I mean, honestly.

What does it say, Judi?

I don't even want to talk.

Do you want me to read it out?

Yeah.

Completely consume your beautiful sculpture.

Your time starts, now.

Going for the arm next.

The remaining arm.

Bit more hair...

It's not fair because the chewy sweets...

are really chewy.

OK, I'm going for it.

Egg shell?

No.

I feel I could've done better.

Judi, I put it to you,

you just made a big pile of things you'd like to eat.

Yeah. Do you want to see it? We've got a picture of it. There it is.

Oh, look at that!

If someone sent that you as a pudding... You'd like that.

I mean, I'd argue that perhaps Ardal was a little braver

with his creation.

Yeah, ambitious. Anastasia is what you called it.

Anastasia, yeah. Here's Anastasia.

She's a former ballerina, obviously. Of course.

And to get the rosy face of a dancer in her prime,

why not rub a bit of jelly on some tofu? Why not?

Right, we have to stop now

because Alex needs to have a wee every 15 minutes. Sorry!

Hello, welcome back to part four of four.

Yes, and this summary is especially for one lucky viewer.

It's for Peter from Guildford. Hi, Pete.

So, Peter, before the break,

the cast were each making a 150g food sculpture.

It was then revealed they also had to eat it.

Mm, it seems pretty obvious now, doesn't it, Pete?

Finally, two more people, who wish they'd seen it coming...

It's the hindsight duo of Bridget and Sophie.

Big up the Guildford massive, Pete. Here we go.

This is... Wow.

Butter.

Hmm...

I've got to get a baby and a breast and a nipple out of all of that.

Let's pop it in there.

I've got nothing to do, now.

What have you begun to sculpt, Sophie?

It's like a still life...

of the human body.

I thought it'd be quite stressful, this job,

but it's really relaxing, isn't it?

Just one?

How many do you have?

Does that look like a baby?

Oh.

The nipples have browned, which is quite sweet.

Oh, sort of on a sea of milk.

A baby and two breasts, yeah. Yeah.

Have you heard of like a piece of art called L'Origine Du Monde?

No. OK.

This is the clitoris, the grape.

The bananas are the clitoral wings... Lovely.

And this is the vagina.

Thank you, Sophie. Thank you so much.

Oh, Sophie. Mm-hm.

Sorry, there's one more, before...

Oh.

Oh, no. I ca...

No, I can't.

This is entirely my own fault.

It's delicious.

Is it edible?

Hmm...

Don't make me eat it.

It's a lot of butter.

I have made a huge mistake.

It's literally all on the roof of my mouth.

I feel if I can't eat this,

then I will, like, send out quite a negative message about...

Like, I want to destigmatise this kind of thing.

Yeah, but equally, that's about 100g of butter you're eating.

It's really dry.

I can't swallow it.

Do you want me to get you a little bag?

Please.

I think it's the flour...

cos it hasn't cooked.

You're not speaking very clearly.

I've stopped the clock.

Is there anything...?

Shall I stop the clock? Yes, please. Yes.

It was so hard.

So hard.

Let me start with you, Bridget. The miracle of childbirth.

Do you feel you successfully celebrated it via your sculpture?

I do. The fact that our bodies produce milk,

that then, nourishes a child is one of the most amazing things

that humans, mammals do. I agree.

Um... What better way to represent it than with...

a disembodied baby's head and two floating bread boobs?

Milk. And the milk.

It's nice to see the female genitals celebrated in quite so much detail.

Thank you. It really does feel like an evolution from

us childishly drawing cock and balls on windows,

as I've done, I'm ashamed to say, so many times.

I mean, I just thought of the most beautiful thing

that I could imagine and I wanted it to be educational like Chris.

Yeah. What's the broccoli at the bottom?

That's the bum hole. Come on!

Is it? Yeah, of course.

You've got the vagina, you've got a broccoli bum hole. Move on.

Shall we deal with the eating first? Yeah.

Bridget ate the least.

Out of 150g, she ate 8.

Ardal's next. He ate 40g in 3 minutes 10 seconds.

Chris ate all but 13g in 4:26 minutes.

Sophie did eat all of hers.

Some came out afterwards. I don't know how much.

I mean, she did consume it all in 3 minutes.

This should be a big surprise

as to ate the most of their delicious pudding. Yes.

Judi ate her dinner in 1:50 minutes, so well done, Judi.

Five points. Five points to Judi.

Now, you've got to separate them in terms of beauty. So, all five...

Now, this is going to be a minefield. Yes.

All five here. Let's go.

I can't see how that's difficult.

An ageing ballerina with only one arm.

Oh, if I place your tofu ballerina above a vagina,

I am finished.

I cannot separate the beauty of the solar system,

a woman nurturing a child and a vagina.

And I want you to quote me on that.

So, I'm going to give all three of those beautiful things five points.

Oh, right. Come on!

So, five points to Bridget, Chris and Sophie.

And now, I must acknowledge...

if I was in a restaurant, I'd think that was beautiful. OK.

But I can't, in good conscience,

give it any more marks than a one-armed ballerina.

Four points each. And we're done.

There we go, we're done.

Five, five, five, four, four.

What are the scores?

Well, Ardal and Bridget have both got 16,

but at the top of the leader board,

we've got Judi on 21, and then, Sophie on 23.

Uh'.!

OK, everyone, time for you to head to the stage

for the final task of the show!

All right, my love?

Who's going to read it out?

I'm going to ask Sophie Duker to read it out.

Build the tallest tower of toilet rolls in front of your spot.

You have 100 seconds.

After 100 seconds, you will throw both of your shoes at the towers

one at a time from the throwing spot.

Down there, on the stage.

Whoever builds the tallest tower will throw first.

The tallest toilet roll tower after all shoes are thrown wins.

So, there's a bit of tactics here.

The person, who's got the highest tower, has to throw first.

So, if you've got the smallest tower,

maybe yours will still be standing, when you get to throw.

Oh, God, it's like chess.

OK, your 100 seconds starts...

Different styles already, Greg.

Who's...?

I think Chris is giving the thrower a thin target.

The audience are enjoying it, Greg.

Oh, yeah.

YES!

I mean, Chris' is beautiful.

Ramsey's going to stick this on his chin, afterwards.

20 seconds left.

Uh'.!

Five, four, three, two, one.

Step away, step away.

Step back.

That is incredible.

That's going down. Wow.

It is incredible but it's a high-risk strategy.

Oh, course, it is.

Yeah, I... Yeah, I'm not even bothered I enjoyed doing that.

The tallest tower is clearly Chris Ramsey,

so, please, make your way down to the throwing spot, Chris Ramsey.

So, yeah, if you do feel worried about your safety,

you can step back if you want.

Chris, whose... whose tower...

Whose tower are you going to...? Who are you most threatened by, Chris?

I think Sophie's a force to be reckoned with,

so I'm going to aim for Sophie's.

OK, well, good luck. She's the only one, who hasn't stepped back.

I want to go down with my tower.

Yeah.

If you want to throw a shoe...

Don't do that.

Don't do that.

I'll be gutted, if I hit you with a shoe. Please?

I'll be that guy, who hit that girl with that shoe.

Oh, my God.

Ready? Yeah.

Oh, my God.

Have you got magic powers?!

OK.

0h!

Oh!

That is top plac e Psy h some ology_ Oh, my

So, the second tallest tower is Sophie Duker.

Please, come down to the throwing spot.

I wonder who she'll aim for.

She's going to shatter my tower.

These are boots. Boots now, Greg.

I don't give a shit.

Good luck, Sophie. Whose tower are you aiming at?

The boys'.

Oh, dear me.

Watch your feet.

Sophie!

No!

Wm'- Oh. my God'.!

I'm so sorry! Oh, my God!

Ardal, avert your eyes. She's an animal.

The trouble is, Sophie, you are now the tallest tower.

If you'd left that up, other people wouldn't be aiming for you.

It's like chess.

Arghg

Oh, now, you fuck up!

Greg, it's time for Ardal O'Hanlon.

Ardal, currently the second highest tower. Sophie's the highest.

Look at this. Ardal, Ardal! This is a man, who's throw shoes before.

Well, you know what? Cos I love everyone equally,

I'm going to just throw it at random.

Ooh! No!

No, I'm not. Hah!

I'm going to throw it at Sophie. No, no!

Arghg

You've got a force field!

Same again or...?

You're going to target me twice?

Take your time. Decimate it, come on.

No, no!

Ooh!

Underarm.

Uh'.!

Oh!

What a system!

What a system!

Sophie, an incredible performance, so far.

She is winning the episode, remember. She is.

Judi has never won an episode.

The only contestant not to have won one.

Still left to throw, it's Bridget Christie's turn.

Any thoughts on your technique, before you let rip?

No.

Ooh! That was close.

Closer than me.

Please, come back to the stage, Bridget.

Judi, please, head down to the throwing spot.

Can I just say, my shoes have no leverage whatsoever?

Well, look, Judi, this is huge for you.

If you can strike that tower,

you've got every chance of winning the show.

Did you hear that? You could win this episode.

I'll give you my shoes, Judi.

But how am I supposed to kill you with your own shoes?

Is it because you don't want to touch shoes without gloves?

Yes.

Shall we get you a glove? Yes.

I just don't like touching the bottom of shoes.

OK. Now, whoa, whoa! Think about this, Judi.

Who...? Where are you aiming at?

No, Judi, Judi, Judi. You've got to hit that one,

if you want to win the show. Take your time. Sophie, I'm so sorry.

I'm worried she's going to hit her own tower.

Ooh!

Sophie's tower.

You can't win, if you kill me.

What happened? Sophie's is the tallest.

Sophie's is the tallest. Yeah, that was the practice, wasn't it, yeah?

That's an end to it.

We'll work out how that's affected the final scores.

Please, come and join me down here.

What a show. High drama up there.

High drama.

Well, Chris, you were destroyed instantly by the boot of Sophie.

So, one point for the lowest tower.

Judi and Bridget, you were the joint third highest towers.

You get three points each.

Ardal remained unscathed — second highest tower and four points.

But Sophie's performance was immaculate

and she obviously gets the full five points. Sophie Duker!

And so...?

And so, this was Judi's closest chance so far to win an episode,

and with 24 points, she comes second.

Sophie Duker gets 28 points and comes first.

There it is.

Sorry. Sophie Duker is triumphant.

Please, pace up to the stage and poke your precious prizes.

I'm destroyed.

So, what have we learnt today?

Well, today, has been a true celebration of womankind.

We've admired the miracle of bringing life into the world.

We've marvelled at the female form and we'll never forget

that some women can borrow a dog whenever they want.

Please, clap your hands with all your might

for tonight's winner, Sophie Duker!

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