Original subtitles

Thank you.

We're doing great!

What are you doing? Do I have to carry you or what?

I can't take it anymore, my old lady. I have at least three years to let go of

my toes.

Oh, it's awful.

Listen, you know what's disgusting?

At least we're getting ready to take them to its peak.

We're getting ready, we're getting ready. As we left, I didn't have time to

Oh, and I'm tired of it.

And the girls who won't come to get us here.

We're still better than in our cage.

You know, when you blink your eyes, you'll think you're at the edge of the

You know, I'm really pretty.

Are you tired?

No, I'm tired.

The more I think about it, the more I realize that we were right to quit this

job. You know, in the end, the customers would throw me the gloves with their

supply line and their ticket of instructions.

It's true.

In life, there's still something else than supermarkets.

Talk for yourself.

I really liked my job.

Encore 15 ans et je montais... Qu 'est -ce que c 'est Air Chef?

Ah oui, alors qu 'est -ce que tu fais là?

C 'est ma copine, on fait tout ensemble.

On a eu notre certif ensemble.

Notre première cuite ensemble.

Notre premier mec.

Ensemble? Ah oui.

Ça je m 'en souviens, figure -toi.

Ils nous ont même plaqué ensemble.

Ma pauvre fille.

Si tu n 'existais pas, je crois bien qu 'ils voudraient t 'inventer.

Peut -être.

Dis donc, en s 'en allant...

We wouldn't have been able to go around without the food.

Don't you have a little tooth?

Oh, yes.

But unfortunately, there's nothing to eat in there.

Oh, yes, twins.

Even if we made them boil for a long time, it's sure that they will remain on

our stomachs.

You can laugh with your mini -cassette.

It's a matter of tendency, we're not shot.

Not even a packet of biscuits.

Oh, yes, but finally, we're traveling.

Look.

We've already arrived at La Varenne.

Well, you're joking, but I've never crossed the Porte d 'Italie.

Oh, you're going to make me cry.

Look, what's going on over there?

It looks like a procession.

Oh, but it's far.

Oh, but what... Like that.

Oh, no, it's all close. Oh, yes, what is it?

People who read a building.

And they know I read?

No, not terrible.

They were so weird.

But I'm talking about the bicoque.

Oh, the grand standing, my old lady. There are some who refuse nothing.

Oh, there's even a hairdressing salon in the floors.

I can already see you.

Me? Yeah.

Here, I'm finally getting you.

It's not possible.

Papa. Papa.

But you're going to tell me what we're doing to the Indians.

Listen, think about it for a second, Marielle. Do we have any money?

No. Can we go home tonight?

No. Because of the cops.

So do you know where she is?

Of course.

It's my Roudoudou.

He's waiting for me every night, my Roudoudou.

Listen, this guy is giving me shits. Just look at him.

When he goes out, we'll think we're in a cheese boat.

Yeah, I know he's a little scared, but he's still my beloved Roo -Doo -Doo.

So we're going to find him.

I stay and I settle down here. I become a squatter.

A squatter?

A squatter is Russian.

It means we take care of the empty places, without authorization, without

anything, and without being seen.

Oh, but you saw that in Spirou?

So, what do you decide?

You stay or you leave?

No, you're my girlfriend.

We do it all together.

Si tu squattes, je squatte.

Alors, squattons.

Dis -donc, si c 'est pour squatter dans une cave, je ne vois pas tellement l

'intérêt. Il faut un début à tout. Et puis la cave, c 'est là qu 'on entrepose

le pinard. Tu me suis?

Tiens, regarde.

Tu vois cette porte?

Eh bien, je suis sûre que derrière cette porte, il y a du Saint -Emilion en

pagaille.

Excuse me, sir, if I seem indiscreet, but why do you live in the cellar?

Oh, that's a long story.

But come in and have a drink.

No, no, but don't worry, I'm a peaceful hermit.

My life rules are abstinence, non -violence, and counter -dance.

Oh, it's cute in your house, sir.

Diogenes, Diogenes, Diogenes, yes, yes, yes.

It's been 30 years since I've lived here.

Yes, I was born here and I died here. In fact, it's the room and everything I

have left of the apartment I lived in and which was demolished to build this

kind of shitty residence.

You mean that the promoters buried you alive?

But why?

But simply because I didn't want to leave here.

They made me fabulous works, but I didn't want to move out of here.

Little cuckoo.

And so, they started to build, to dig, to dig a foundation.

Et de remblai en remblai, j 'ai fini par me retrouver du premier étage au

premier sous -sol.

Ça peut empêcher au loyer de remonter.

Dites -moi, M. Diogène, reste -t -il un appartement inoccupé dans les étages?

Attendez voir, attendez voir.

Peut -être au troisième étage.

C 'est pas grand, mais je vous préviens, c 'est très bruyant. Ah, parce que l

'appartement est contre la rue? Non, contre les conduites d 'eau.

Vous savez très bien, on entend tout ce qui...

Yes, yes.

And then, on the third floor, you have Madame Rupineau, the singer who makes

vocals. And on the fourth floor, the office of Dr.

Senac, who consults his favorite clients. And many other singers, too.

Hold on, hold on, hold on. Hold on, it's time.

Listen.

Oh, come on.

Oh, no.

Listen, we can't be wrong.

It's the only apartment in Paris where we don't hear any fights, no swearing,

TV. So he's free.

Don't panic, pretty, I was waiting for you.

Really? Here, I'll leave you the place.

It's been an hour that I've been squatting and I'm already tired of it.

Besides, I thought it was weird that this room was unoccupied while it's full

everywhere. But why?

What's going on here?

What's going on?

Well, it's the other neighbor's bell that installed a machine to watch the

in their dining room.

So there, sorry, it's permanent synopsis from morning to night.

Well, I thought the annoying thing was the ventilation ducts.

Also, but they, as they pass in the bedroom to sleep and in the kitchen

you have the vacuum cleaners, it's here that we are pretty quiet.

Pretty quiet?

Yeah, because above, there's a penguin who roars all day.

Who roars?

Yeah, a carpenter, if you prefer.

Ah. Yeah, so I'm hungry, I'm going to break up. By the way, the agency, she's

going to pay us to take care of this job.

Hello.

Mr.

Diogenes!

Mr. Diogenes! It's us!

Mr. Diogenes!

Mr. Diogenes! We're hungry!

Here,

miss.

All I can do for you.

Thank you, Mr. Diogenes. Always better than nothing.

To say that at my place I have a mattress with a multi -spirit pillow

for me.

Looking for good.

Are you sure there's not a small place at your place?

A small place at my place?

A small place at my place, that is to say, I made a vow of abstinence and...

Well, exactly.

That way you'll keep your distance.

Ah, no, no, on the contrary, I have a hard time restraining my desires,

I'm afraid of crossing the yellow line of abstinence and of crossing the

borders.

Good night, Miss.

Good night.

Ah, there's some atmosphere.

I'll keep you with your luxury squad. Total, no piole, no mec.

Oh, stop whining. Tomorrow will be day.

Listen, let's go.

Maybe it's big blondes with big blue eyes, lost in the night, who are looking

for a sleeping bag to warm up.

Yes, well, unfortunately for you, they look more like nannies.

Oh, my God.

Ow!

Oh.

Oh no.

Oh, no.

Tell me, isn't it nice to swim in a pool where we don't have the right to? To

live in an apartment that doesn't belong to you, and to do some jogging in a

park forbidden to vagabonds. In the end, it's funnier to swim in broad daylight.

And you know that others really take us for owners.

Yes.

Me,

owner.

If my Roudoudou saw me, me, owner, would he help me?

Oh, listen.

Red or not red, let me smell your doudou, because I see you coming.

Can you be selfish?

Of course, you live with love and fresh water.

I'm not the same.

I'm starting to be overwhelmed by the heat, if you want to know.

The squat, as you say, is very nice.

But it's not with that that I'm going to send myself on a plane.

Shit!

My God, what a language!

Go to Cordier, the antique shop, you'll be served.

With his important air, the type who can give himself importance without getting

there, thank you.

Here, I prefer Dr.

Sennac. Oh, really?

Well, yes, I think that for an intellectual, he doesn't look too

I have a great idea.

Oh, but we're not in the shit.

What if we wrote a book about the life of this barrack? Well, why do that?

They're all barjots.

But, precisely, we'll present that as the archetype of concentration and

alienation of bourgeois cities.

Oh, shit!

Shit!

But, you know, what did you say there?

Uh, archetype, machin, truc, la bourgeoise.

Oh, la, la.

Attention, hein.

Ex -caissière de supermarché. Trop calé pour Bibi.

Pas du tout.

Écoute, la littérature, c 'est une question de formule. Tu vas voir.

Prends, par exemple, Rueder. Tu sais, le cinéaste qui fait du montage, hein, sa

salle à manger.

Eh bien, essaie de définir, en une phrase, comme ça, sans trop réfléchir. M

'inspire pas confiance.

Il m 'a l 'air aussi douteux qu 'un marchand de voiture d 'occasion.

Hé, le fondé de pouvoir du cinquième. Tu sais, celui qui fout toujours la

gueule.

As hermetic as a diving submarine. And her wife, she's got the minnow instead

the brain. And she's got her bonnet. Yes, well, listen, it's okay. It's not

sex shop we're talking about. It's the Goncourt.

Well, listen, I don't know your Mr. Goncourt, but it would hurt if he was

interested in my bullshit.

In the meantime, let's get to work.

I'm going to start by recording the maximum of ragots. You, with your twins,

spot the guys and you follow them.

Hey, I prefer it to be the guys who spot me and who follow me.

Oh, shit!

Oh, no.

Uh -huh.

Help! Help!

Oh, my God.

Oh, no.

Thank you.

Fuck!

Des choses comme ça.

Je n 'en pense pas un mot.

Tu sais, les hommes sont tous des menteurs.

Ben, tu vois, même si c 'est pas sincère, c 'est quand même hyper

Les mots d 'amour, c 'est comme une conserve de luxe qu 'on ouvre aux

occasions. On fait semblant de l 'aimer parce que ça coûte cher.

Écoute, ça n 'a pas tellement de rapport, mais je note.

Encore une vingtaine de pages comme ça, et je boucle mon manuscrit.

Ah, je peux t 'en déballer des vingtaines de tombereaux comme ça sur la

question.

Dis,

j 'aurais un pourcentage sur la vente.

Fifty -fifty.

J 'en connais pas beaucoup.

Moi, j 'en connais aucune.

Comme ça, t 'es sûre de me faire rire.

Ouais, j 'en ai une.

Dans une école, un inspecteur entre dans une classe.

Il prend un élève au hasard et lui demande, qu 'aimeriez -vous faire plus

Médecin, peintre ou laveur de carreaux, répond l 'élève.

Vous n 'avez pas l 'air très fixé, lui dit l 'inspecteur. Oh, si, monsieur l

'inspecteur. Moi, ce qui m 'intéresse avant tout, c 'est de voir des femmes

nues.

J 'ai pas tout compris.

T 'en as pas une plus facile?

Bon. It's a short one now.

In paradise, two angels who flew joyfully entered the collision.

A third, former mechanic, came to help them get up. It's nothing, he says.

Two straight wings.

He won't appear anymore.

I'm getting more and more hungry.

Hello, ladies and gentlemen.

Imagine that it's been two hours that I've been listening to you from the

side of the wall and that I'm literally stuck in two.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

By the way, it's very simple. I collect them all.

Would you like me to go to your collection of funny stories? Of course,

Come with me, I'll show you.

All right.

Come on, let's go.

Oh, well, shit. She's not out of breath, that one.

Well, wait.

I'm going to find a guy too.

Here.

The one who smokes a joint over there.

Ha ha ha ha!

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh, God.

Oh. Oh.

My... My...

Thank you.

My... My...

No, but my girlfriend is afraid of rats. And since we do it all together, I'm

afraid too.

Listen to me, Mr. Diogenes. If you open the light, I'll open the pages of my

book.

Ah, well, that's good.

I've always dreamed of being in the dictionary.

What should I do?

Be a light.

Easy.

Thank you.

And now, tell us about your little childhood.

Quand j 'étais petit, je n 'étais pas grand.

Je montrais mon cul à tous les passants.

Très bien.

Vous vous droguez? Ah non, ça jamais, non.

Si, sauf une fois, j 'ai sniffé tout le gaz de mon briquet parce que je voulais

m 'envoyer en l 'air.

Et alors?

Et alors, je me suis retrouvé à l 'hosto avec un indemne au poumon.

Vous qui êtes ermite, que pensez -vous des nouveaux philosophes?

Les nouveaux philosophes, les philosophes modernes, ne durent que le

'une saison littéraire.

Autre question?

We're really in low tension, aren't we?

Any well -fed nana would have taken advantage of this mess to make a mess.

We don't even.

He thinks I'm going to be a singer.

I'm going to tell you a good thing, my old lady.

A girl without a boyfriend is like Charlemagne without her beard, Joan of

without her voice and the Pope without Boeing. Listen, in the meantime, try to

sleep. Tomorrow will be day.

Hey, tell me, what else?

I'm starting to regret my box and my roodoodoo.

In short, I'm fed up with it.

Oh, you.

You know, the day we put the cones in orbit.

But you haven't come to turn, my old lady.

Go to sleep and have a good dream.

I never dream.

Yes, once.

But since I'm not used to it, it keeps me from sleeping.

Come on, I beg you, go to sleep.

Hey, that must make some funny Chinese shadows.

Everyone's leaving, and so are we.

We have no choice.

You've got to be kidding me.

Do you think it was smart to put in the mailboxes of everyone the clandestine

recordings we made of them?

It's as if you'd put a copy in a bin.

Yes, but do you understand?

It's the only way I've found to get you out of this house.

Well, then, it's decided.

You're going back to the supermarket.

Are you sure you won't regret it?

Listen, at the supermarket, at least we're hot.

Here, we used to gather as if it wasn't allowed.

And then in the supermarket, when you have a little tooth, you have to eat in

the hallways.

Here, I really had too much trouble.

And then finally, over there, you can drag as many customers as you want,

here... It's worth it to wish for a high -standing residence.

But I haven't got anything to say about high -standing, from the moment you

remain my girlfriend.

Hey, if you think I'm going to return to work at the cash register, you put your

finger in the eye, my dear, and deep.

Bon, ben, t 'as une meilleure idée?

Pour l 'instant, non. Mais peut -être ton marchand... Ah, non, ma vieille,

Moi, je te suis jusqu 'à fin mort.

Dernière limite.

Et puis, si d 'ici là, on n 'a rien trouvé, on rentre à la maison. D

Entendu. Tiens, tu me passes tes jumelles?

Ben, pour quoi faire?

Ben, pour chercher une idée, pardi.

It would be nice if I wore glasses.

In my opinion, it would be a very good investment.

I'm going back.

I'm getting off. I'm fed up.

But it's crazy.

It looks like we've done hundreds of kilometers.

Listen, I have at least 50 hoses on each side.

We're better off in the residence, aren't we? No. You know, by folding our

we would think we're in Paris.

But tell me, what's going on in La Rochelle?

Isn't it the Marne?

It's the Indian Ocean, Giotto. Oh, really?

Excuse me, I'm leaving.

I love you.

I don't know.

Oh, God.

Oh, no.