Original subtitles

JANE: Previously on Doom Patrol...

CLIFF: I'm your father.

You had a chance to have me in your life and you fucking threw it away.

- Cliff? - Ciara? What are you doing here?

RONI: Those files I gave you were a warning, about who I am.

- Who you were. - Power is one hell of a drug.

NILES: I thought I needed to protect her from the world.

But now I must protect the world from her.

The child belongs with me.

No. No!

KIPLING: So, this is that call.

NILES: I need one more day.

I'll make sure it's done.

I'm Primary. I'm responsible for all of us.

- Miranda. - The one and only.

If you'll kindly step aside as Primary...

I'll show you what the girl wants.

Have you seen Scarlet Harlot? I'm starting to get worried.

JANE: The fuck?

Why is your station closed?

- DADDY: Come! - KAY: No. Please! I don't want to!

I said I don't want to.

DADDY: I told you what was gonna happen.

- KAY: Please... - Quit dragging your dang feet, Kay!

- Come on! - [CRYING] I don't want to.

Please don't make me, I don't want to go.

Please, Daddy, I don't wanna go!

Please don't make me.

Please. No. Please. No.

You know what happens when you disobey Daddy.

- Now, get into the bucket. - I don't want to, I'm sorry.

I said I was sorry.

Get into the bucket, little girl.

[KAY CONTINUES CRYING]

I said I'm sorry.

Daddy, I'm sorry.

I said I was sorry. Please!

Please! Please, let me up, I said I was sorry!

Please!

Please, Daddy.

No! Harry!

Harry!

Please.

Harry.

Harry, please!

Harry!

Harry!

Harry.

No, he... [SOBBING]

PRETTY POLLY: What are you trying to say?

JANE: I don't know...

but it's weird. First, Scarlet goes MIA,

and now Lucy Fugue.

I'm sure there's a reasonable explanation.

Such as?

Anyone?

Something's off.

I'm not trying to point fingers,

but it just seems like a pretty big coincidence.

Doesn't it?

MIRANDA: What does?

We were all doing just fine, and then you showed up.

[SCOFFS] Oh, is that how Flaming Katy and Baby Doll are doing?

Just fine?

They died.

They didn't disappear.

I know doom and gloom is kind of your whole vibe,

but it's a little tragic when you can't see hope staring you right in the face.

They didn't disappear, Jane.

They moved on.

We're finally starting to heal.

No, that's not... [SCOFFS]

That can't...

How?

Well, that's the job of the Primary, right?

To help Kay move forward.

Guess I'm good at what I do.

Is this true?

Are you getting better?

I want Harry.

- Who? - SECRETARY: Kay's stuffed animal.

For a long time, Harry was our best friend.

Our only friend.

But...

we lost him.

Okay, then. Then, let's find him.

Where did we last see him?

The well.

The one down here?

No.

The one up there.

Kay, sweetie,

Harry's gone, remember?

Maybe it's better if we just leave him in the past...

and we move forward.

I'll do it.

MIRANDA: No.

We can't go back. It's too risky.

We might jeopardize all the progress that we've made.

I agree.

It's too much, Jane.

I just want Harry.

Aren't you supposed to be the expert on what Kay wants?

Quick reminder.

- I'm still the Primary. - [SCOFFS]

And if she wants Harry, we get Harry.

It's not up to us to question her.

Good luck, Jane.

So, that was the stairs...

- and on your left... - [PANTING]

[CLIFF CHUCKLING]

Whoa, are you okay?

Because I delivered some babies in these hallowed halls.

Granted, they were bald rats the size of jelly beans... [CHUCKLES]

...but it's all circle of life, "Hakuna Matata" shit.

So, if you're gonna pop, I got ya!

Uh... Okay... thanks.

I still got a few weeks anyway.

Hey, that, um, that man from the tape,

he's not still here, is he?

Niles? No.

And for the record, I can't stand the guy,

but I am not gonna let that ruin this.

So, why did you come all this way?

I'm... getting married.

Oh.

Yeah.

You wanna see my room?

Where's your bed?

I'm kind of like a horse. Don't need one.

Cool racetrack, though, right?

Hey, it came in handy when we got shrunk and had to live on it.

That was until Niles traded his immortality necklace

- and made us big again. - [KNOCK AT DOOR]

Hey, dickwipe, I need you to... Oh.

Jane? You're back.

- Are you okay? - Fine. Yeah.

This is my daughter, Clara.

- Hi. - Hey.

What's up?

Never mind.

Yeah, that's Jane. She's a lot of fun.

[SCOFFS] Yeah.

- Whoa! Hey, hey! - What?

Don't get too close to that window.

We got rats and we're in kind of a blood feud right now. So...

- Okay, so... - [CHUCKLES] Golly.

I know, it all just seems a little crazy.

You think? I mean...

[SCOFFS]

- I mean, what the fuck, dude? - [BOTH LAUGHING]

Hey, so...

I know I'm, like, 30 years late,

but I just need to spit this out.

I'm stupid.

I fucked up.

I'm sorry.

You got anything to eat?

Shit, yeah!

Want some pancakes?

- All right. - [BOTH CHUCKLING]

KIPLING: You've overstepped, Bunbury.

An apology's in order.

[SQUEAKING]

Classic Bunbury.

Defiant to the end.

What the hell are you going on about?

[SQUEAKING]

[ALL MURMURING]

Are you sure you can't say where we're going, Papa?

- But that would ruin the surprise. - Mmm.

Please tell me.

I'll tell you when you get back.

Here. I want some dark chocolate,

and you get whatever you want.

[CELL PHONE RINGING]

- [SIGHS] - [CELL PHONE CONTINUES RINGING]

- What is it? - Chatter.

Amongst the flora and the fauna.

Bunbury's terrified.

Said the end is near, and it got me to thinking.

What if that numpty Niles has lost the plot?

You've got a hell of a nerve.

Look, I'm not going to stand by and let us go tits up stardust

over some bloody tribal curse.

- I've got it under control. - I did the research.

That prehistoric thing will rip us to shreds

if Little Miss Sunshine matures any further.

I can assure you my daughter is still a little girl,

and she will remain that way. Thank you.

I think we should move up the rendezvous.

Not on your life.

What is the difference between now and later?

The difference is that I get to say goodbye...

to my daughter.

Fine, then.

See you at 6:00.

[FOLK ROCK MUSIC PLAYING]

♪ Listen to myself laughing ♪ ♪ till the breaking of dawn ♪

♪ Waiting for the magic ♪

♪ Waiting like a man ♪

♪ Waiting for all the... ♪

Look, Mommy.

Uh, no, honey, mind your own business.

I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.

[BREATHING HEAVILY]

[DOOR OPENS]

Was this you?

[TURNS ON TAPE PLAYER]

PAUL [ON RECORDING]: Okay... Okay.

- Ready, Dad? - LARRY: All systems go, Paul.

PAUL: Good evening, everyone. I'm Walter Cronkite

and this is Up to the Minute. I'm here with Dad.

I mean, Captain Larry Trainor,

who, in one week's time, will embark on a super-dangerous X-15 test mission.

I'll start with the question on everyone's mind.

Are you scared?

No, sir, Mr. Cronkite.

I have a top-notch team who work hard

to make sure everything goes off without a hitch.

But what if they make a mistake?

They won't.

I know a lot of people look at this stuff like it's magic, but...

I see it as something more powerful.

What?

Math.

Numbers never make mistakes.

Hey.

Paul, look at me.

Nothing bad is gonna happen, all right?

[MIMICS SPACE SHUTTLE POWERING UP]

Check your gear.

Are you buckled in?

Don't forget that. There you go.

All right, let's see.

Wings are level, and heading is 182.

[MIMICS RADIO STATIC] "Captain Paul, this is NASA One.

We have you ready to launch in four, three, two, one..."

[MIMICS SPACE SHUTTLE LAUNCHING]

[SIGHS] Hey.

Space isn't such a scary place.

It's quiet,

filled with possibility...

and it's up to people like me to show our world just how beautiful it can be.

There won't be any mistakes.

I'm not gonna leave you, okay, bud?

All right, where's the Big Dipper?

Right there.

LARRY: Uh-huh.

And what's in the handle of the Big Dipper?

- The Little Dipper. - Nice.

You'll make a great astronaut.

- [LARRY SIGHS] - [TURNS OFF TAPE PLAYER]

[SIGHS]

You know what, pal?

I'm getting a little sick of always having to crack your code.

I don't understand what you want me to do.

I've tried to reach out to my family, I've tried to make amends.

It's pretty damn clear they want nothing to do with me.

Maybe Moscow was right. Maybe I need to move on.

But having my past constantly shoved in my face

isn't helping me right now, okay?

So, just tell me what you want me to do.

[EXHALING]

Is this a bad time?

What do you want, Jane?

Um...

I need to go do something,

and Cliff's busy, so...

What?

Oh, just...

put on your dumb bandages.

We're going to Arkansas.

LARRY: Arkansas?

[DOROTHY WHIMPERING]

[KNOCK AT DOOR]

WOMAN: You okay in there?

[WHIMPERING]

Are you here with your mom?

No.

My father's outside.

[SIGHS]

So... [CHUCKLING]

Your Aunt Flow is visiting.

I'm sorry, I don't know what you mean.

Oh, hon...

is this the first time you've got your period?

What?

With the blood?

- Yes. - WOMAN: Oh...

Well, don't fret.

It happens to all us girls.

My ma used to call it "the Nasty Red Dragon,"

but I like to think of it as my red badge of courage.

[WOMAN CHUCKLES]

You're gonna get some mean-ass cramps and bleed like a stuck pig once a month,

but it's nothing a hot water bottle

and a couple of Aspirin won't fix.

On the upside, you're joining the sisterhood.

You're gonna get some wild visions,

and your tits are gonna grow two sizes... [LAUGHS]

And you'll get to eat the shit out of some chocolate and cheeseburgers.

It's all part of growing up.

So...

- I'm grown up now? - [CHUCKLING]

So to speak.

Here.

Go on, take 'em, hon.

What should I do about my dress?

Well, don't you worry about that.

I am gonna get you all fixed up.

[CHUCKLES] Oh! No can do!

Us women look out for each other.

I'll be back in a jiff.

What should I tell my father?

Honestly, hon,

I wouldn't tell him nothing.

Some guys just don't want their baby girls to grow up.

You know what I'm saying?

[DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES]

[RITA CLEARING THROAT]

Have you seen this morning's paper?

"Beekeeper creates buzz.

Mysterious masked beekeeper saves local Cloverton man."

Wait, that's you?

- Indeed, it was. - Hmm.

- So, this is like your thing now? - That's right.

I'm a superhero, Victor.

I am...

the Beekeeper.

All right.

If we're gonna do this, we gotta do it right.

We gotta get your superhero ass...

- a superhero car. - Really?

No. Mmm-mmm.

A superhero jet.

We're gonna paint that thing black and yellow and call it

"The Stinger."

[BUZZES]

- Fuck off. - [CHUCKLES]

I'm gonna ask you this question one more time.

Where exactly are you hoping to go with this?

Well, I don't know.

['60S SPY MUSIC PLAYING]

[BEES BUZZING]

Rita? Rita?

Look, I think it's great that you're trying to do more,

but you gotta take it slow.

You can't just dive straight into...

What's wrong?

RONI [ON VOICEMAIL]: Hi. This is Roni.

I can't come to the phone right now.

Listen, um...

we're gonna have to pick this up when I get back.

Are you going to Detroit? Something happened?

I'll go with you.

[STORE DOOR CLOSING]

[GASPS] Ah, here she is,

all stocked up.

- Why are you wearing-- - I got your favorite chocolates.

Wait a minute.

You said there is a surprise.

Ah, the surprise!

Yes.

Today is Dorothy Day,

and we are going to do anything you want.

- Anything? - Anything.

Thank you.

I would like...

Ooh.

Can we go to the fair?

The fair it is. Yes!

LARRY: So, Flit can teleport literally anywhere, right?

JANE: Yeah.

LARRY: And, we've been walking for the past 20 minutes because...

we just wanna get our steps in?

Because that's as close as Flit's willing to get to this place.

This place being?

The farm where we grew up.

Oh.

Yeah.

Lot of fucked-up shit happened to the girl.

Well, if Flit's scared to go back,

aren't you?

Doesn't matter.

The girl lost something here, I gotta get it back.

But, if coming back here is so awful,

- why do you have to-- - Because I just fucking do!

Okay?

I just... I need to make myself useful right now.

Because if I don't, then...

What?

Then it was nice knowing you.

I really don't know how any of this works.

I guess if the girl is doing psychological spring cleaning,

then that might mean she's getting better.

Which would be a good thing, I know, but...

I kind of thought I was indispensable.

I...

Yeah, and you never thought you'd be the one on the chopping block?

Yeah.

Yeah, I thought I was indispensable to my family, too, but...

I only do them more harm than good.

There's a small chance in hell

that I might be able to find some kind of peace

if I could just... let go of Captain Larry Trainor,

but... I just can't.

I don't want to fade away.

Me, neither.

- [THUNDER RUMBLING] - [SIGHS]

CLIFF: So, the mister...

Good guy? What kind of work does he do?

My partner's name is Melissa. I call her Mel.

She's a chef.

CLIFF: Oh, oh! Wow!

A gay shotgun wedding.

Love it!

You two excited to tie the knot?

CLARA: Kinda.

I mean, when we first met, it was like...

"It's just a piece of paper," but then when we decided to have a kid,

everything changed, and now that it's really happening...

Fuck!

I mean, Bump was going on wife number four.

When it comes to fucking up marriages,

the Steeles are pretty legendary.

I love Mel and all, I just

feel like the odds are stacked against me.

CLIFF: Okay, first off...

Steele family, not that bad.

We're no different from any other-- [SCREAMS]

Fuck! Fuck!

Yeah, fucking fuck!

What happened?

Uh...

Nothing.

Nothing. All good.

It's true you come from deadbeats,

but how many of them can make breakfast like this, huh?

Huh?

And, hey, if my opinion means anything...

I think you're gonna be the one to break the cycle.

- You do? - 100%.

Okay.

[CHUCKLING] Good. 'Cause, um...

I really don't want to let my baby boy down.

It's a boy? It's a fucking boy!

It's a boy!

It's a fucking boy! [LAUGHING]

Sorry.

- CLARA: It's okay. - Sorry. I'm sorry.

LARRY: Hey.

You okay?

- [GASPS] - DADDY: Goddamn whore!

You don't think I saw you making eyes at that boy during church?

- I wasn't making eyes, I swear. - Don't lie to me now, Kay!

My name is Miranda.

You got a real listening problem, you know that?

I told you, I don't wanna hear none of that Miranda crap no more.

[BREATHING HEAVILY]

Now, get in the bucket.

Please.

Don't make me go down there.

I said, get in the goddamn bucket, little girl!

[WHIMPERING]

[CRYING]

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. Please... [SOBBING]

- Don't leave me. - [GASPS]

What's wrong?

Fucking monster.

Miranda was terrified.

LARRY: What are you talking about?

[THUNDER RUMBLING]

Do you need any help?

I got it.

- [INDISTINCT CHATTER] - [CALLIOPE PLAYING]

NILES: Do you wanna give that one a go?

Yes, please.

I'm going to win Jane a stuffie.

CARNY: ...you may win. One ticket.

Drive your clown to the finish line.

All right, everybody. One ticket.

All right.

Here we go.

Ladies and gentlemen, on your mark,

get set,

ride!

- NILES: Go, Dorothy, go! - [LAUGHING]

Yes.

Come on. Yes.

Come on, Dorothy.

- [BELL RINGING] - Ohh!

[NILES AND CARNY LAUGHING]

Dorothy!

- You won. - I did?

- You did. - And the winner is...

the young lady.

Pick a prize. What do you want?

Um...

Could I have the big blue bear?

Of course.

- Do you think Jane'II like it? - She'll be over the moon.

[BOTH CHUCKLING]

But that's not what I...

It is time.

What?

Dorothy?

Is that the one you wanted?

Really? With the costume?

Are we on patrol, or are we on patrol?

Just stay here.

Mmm.

Jesus. Now we got the pee-wee Justice League up our asses, too.

Here to help. Hey.

Uh...

Just figured I'd let you get back to your golf game.

Or whatever you angry, old white guys like to do instead of working.

- Look, I didn't mean-- - [SHUSHES]

You gonna stand around here bitchin' all day,

or you gonna tell me What's going on here?

We're trying to locate Roni Evers.

Why her?

Security cams got her entering Decker's home the night of the murder.

AGENT: You ever see anything like this?

- So, what do we got? - Which one are you?

I'm the Beekeeper.

Perhaps you've read about me.

No.

Have you seen my partner, Cyborg?

Yeah, he just left.

[SIGHS]

- [CALLIOPE PLAYING] - [INDISTINCT CHATTER AND LAUGHTER]

NILES: Hmm.

What about that one?

Hmm?

- Okay. - My dear,

do you mind if I sit this one out?

I'm suddenly very tired.

- Are you sure? - Mmm.

I'll be fine, and I'll wait right here for you.

Hmm?

Enjoy yourself.

[GROANING]

[COUGHING]

[DOROTHY GIGGLING]

[CLOWN CACKLING]

[CLOWNS CACKLING]

[GIGGLING]

[CACKLING STOPS]

What's happening?

Why are you here?

[CANDLEMAKER GROWLS]

You...

are ready.

Mother?

[GROWLING]

It's time.

No.

I'll never let you out.

You don't have a choice.

[ROARS]

[GRUNTS]

[CLOWNS CACKLING]

CANDLEMAKER: It's time.

[WHIMPERING]

[PANTING]

Are you okay? Did something happen?

Yes. I don't know... I...

[COUGHING]

Are you okay, Papa?

I'm fine, yes.

- I'm fine. - Let's get you home.

I want to find one last ride that you and I can do together.

But you look tired. Are you sure?

I'm very sure, my darling.

All right, Papa.

CLIFF: That oughta do it.

CLARA: Whoa! You've changed my oil, checked my tire pressure,

and topped off my wiper fluid?

What's going on?

You can't blame a guy for wanting to make up for lost time.

Got any laundry? I'm kidding. I'm kidding.

Hey, I was thinking, with the Mel thing,

you might've come from the screwed-up Steeles,

but you also have Kate's side of the family.

Knowing what you come from is half the battle.

And you got a good head on your shoulders, kid.

So, even if you shit the bed, you'll do it with eyes wide open.

Right?

- Right. - Fuck!

Okay, here's the deal.

If you're pissed as hell,

and you wanna run, stay.

[SINGING] ♪ Every generation ♪

♪ Blames the one before ♪

♪ And all of their frustrations ♪

♪ Come beating on your door ♪

♪ I know I'm a prisoner... ♪

Okay, okay, okay.

- Thank you for the advice. - Yeah.

- Uh, I'm gonna... get on the road. - [CLEARS THROAT]

CLIFF: Okay.

Okay, buckle up, chuckle up.

[CLARA CHUCKLES]

Thanks.

Hey, Dad?

- Yeah? - You okay?

I'm fine.

I know it's short notice, but, uh...

you should come.

To your wedding? [CHUCKLES]

Yes!

- Whoo-hoo! Whoo! - [CHUCKLING]

Holy shit-bus.

Nothing can keep me away.

- Yeah. [LAUGHING] - Okay.

- Good. - Whoo! [CHUCKLING]

- [ENGINE STARTS] - Uh...

Okay. Yeah.

[LAUGHING]

You don't have to do this.

I can just as easily go down there.

[JANE SNIFFLES]

It has to be me.

I have to show the girl I can do things for her the others can't do.

[JANE BREATHING HEAVILY]

Things Miranda can't do.

I don't understand.

I don't need you to understand.

I need you to hold the rope.

[CONTINUES BREATHING HEAVILY]

[GRUNTING]

He's not here.

How can he not be here?

Fuck.

He's not here.

He's not here.

[BREATHING HEAVILY]

[GASPING]

Oh!

"I don't know if you'll ever find this.

I don't even know if you'll care enough to look..."

Please! Please don't leave me down here. Please, I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

[JANE READING] "...but there are two things I do know.

I know you'll kill me..."

YOUNG MIRANDA: ...before you ever let me go.

You always let me rot down here till the sun comes up.

That'll be all the time I need.

Nothing will ever repair the damage you did to Kay,

but I'll do everything in my power to make sure she's all right.

She doesn't need you anymore.

She doesn't need anyone... but us.

[GRUNTING]

I hope you die knowing your daughter was stronger

than you could ever dream of being.

Men like you don't deserve to be happy...

but we do.

We deserve the chance...

to try.

[GASPS]

I had no idea.

You were so much stronger than I would have ever been.

Here.

You should be the one to give it to Kay.

I'm sorry I ever doubted you.

From now on, I'll fall in line.

I promise.

I'm glad we're finally on the same page.

What the fuck?

What are we-- [SCREAMING]

MIRANDA: Is that how Flaming Katy and Baby Doll are doing?

Just fine?

They died.

They didn't disappear.

MIRANDA: I know doom and gloom is kind of your whole vibe,

but it's a little tragic when you can't see hope staring you right in the face.

First Scarlet goes MIA,

and now Lucy Fugue?

MIRANDA: They didn't disappear, Jane.

They moved on.

[MUFFLED SCREAMING]

[CALLIOPE PLAYING]

The people are so small.

Just like us when we stayed on Cliff's racetrack.

[CHUCKLES]

- That was so much fun. - I know. It was, indeed.

It's good to get a new perspective once in a while.

Papa...

What if I can't be who you want me to be anymore?

What do you mean?

What happens if I grow up?

Oh, dear, you...

[COUGHING]

Are you sure you're okay?

Yes.

I'm fine.

Dear heart,

you never have to worry about me.

And you're my wonderous, sweet little girl...

and nothing will ever change that.

I love being out in the world with you, Papa.

This truly was the best day ever.

I wish we'd done it sooner.

I just gotta know one thing.

Why?

I was dying.

I took the Uma Jelly.

- Now I'm not dying. - I'm not talking about the Uma Jelly.

How could you kill a man in cold blood?

If you knew what those people did to me,

you would not be asking me that.

This is not who you are.

I was honest...

about who I was from the very beginning.

- About who you were. - About who I am!

Who I will always be.

So you gonna do it again?

I'm gonna do what I have to.

[SIGHS]

This...

This meant something.

Let me go, Cyborg.

You know I can't do that.

[VIC GROANS]

[GRUNTING]

VIC: Stop!

[THUNDER RUMBLING]

I can see a sign for the world's largest lollipops.

Doesn't that sound good?

Ooh, yes.

I'll see you by the exit.

Thank you, Papa.

It can't be that time.

I don't think I can do this.

Which is why I'm here.

- I will handle it. - She's my daughter!

Look, I know this isn't easy,

but we've been through this.

We have no other option.

[COUGHING]

[GROANING]

[PANTING]

- Bloody hell. - No.

Apparently, your daughter's grown up.

That can't be.

So bleedin' busy being Father of the Year,

we missed our chance.

That incandescent beast is coming whether we like it or not.

[COUGHING]

What are you doing? I didn't make a wish.

CANDLEMAKER: It's time, Dorothy.

No, no, no.

- It's too late. You can't run. - Stop it.

- It's time. - Stop it.

- [PEOPLE SCREAMING] - [DOROTHY WHIMPERING]

[COUGHING]