Original subtitles

George, what are you doing?

The crazy neighbor next door is up to something.

Come on, Zeus. Let'’s go check it out.

I'’m telling you, buddy, ever since we moved into our new home,

some weird things have been happening.

You know I have issues about going out in thunderstorms.

Ooh, I know. Let'’s go back inside

'’cause The Real Housepuppies of Beverly Hills is about to start.

Come on, buddy. You'’re not afraid of a little thunderstorm, are you?

Me? Afraid?

Come on. Us Patterson men gotta stick together.

Okay.

You owe me a big steak for this, George.

All right, back me up, buddy.

Back me up.

Back you up? Who'’s gonna back me up?

Can'’t we just come back when the storm'’s over? Please?

It'’s okay, buddy. It's okay. I got a bad feeling about this.

Seems like there'’s someone in there, buddy.

That'’s great. Let'’s go. Come on.

Thunder? Ahh! Zeus, come on!

Zeus!

Zeus!

Zeus!

Bats!

Ooh! Ah! Ahh!

George, watch out! Cover your head!

I can'’t look.

George, is that you?

Zeus! Zeus! I can'’t see! I can'’t get this off my head!

Who'’s making all that noise?

Sounds like the new neighbor.

Bruno, what are you doing?

I wanna see what'’s going on.

Georgie, look out for the tombstones!

Ohh! My brain!

I'’m coming, George!

Georgie, look out!

No!

Medusa!

You tell that idiot to stay out of our yard!

Oh, yeah? Well, I'’m a former K-9, and I smell probable cause.

I'’m sorry, Georgie. I heard the thunder, and it scared me.

Oh. Well. That could'’ve gone better.

Um, you might want to turn around.

I got out of bed for this?

This is unbelievable.

Ahh! Hey, honey.

Did you get a haircut?

Oh, George! Moron!

George. We'’ve only lived here two months.

Do you know how hard I have worked to try to get everyone to like us?

Looks like someone'’s in the doghouse now, Georgie.

Belinda, has it ever occurred to you

that maybe I'’m trying to protect this family?

You know, it'’s not like we moved out of state. We moved three blocks.

I'’ll do better next time, George, I promise.

It was just I was scared by the thunderstorm and the lightning.

I don'’t know what came over me.

It'’s all right, buddy. It'’s probably just an accident.

Besides, something did happen at that house.

Did you actually see anything?

Yeah, I did. You know.

A little bit. I don'’t think "a little bit" is gonna hold up in court.

Eat your cereal. But what about that strange noise?

Oh, and that creepy light coming from the attic?

George, you gotta tell her. You gotta tell her!

Mom, my stinger fell off again.

Kara, honey, I'’ve already sewn it on three times.

What kind of a bee doesn'’t have a stinger?

A dead one. Honey,

just leave it here and I'’ll sew it on again later, okay?

Ricky Jameson said it'’s lucky no one called the cops.

Smooth move there, Pops.

Oh, be nice to your father.

Tell Ricky Jameson to mind his own business.

Ow! Ben! Sorry.

What have I told you about playing with this in the house?

Hey, Dad, check it out. I made some modifications.

See that? That'’s pretty cool.

Let me show you.

Ooh, what'’s that? Zeus!

Hey, come here. Come here, you. Come here.

Stop torturing the dog.

Cut it out. Okay, look. Take that thing upstairs.

You get dressed for school, take off your wings,

and then come back down and have your breakfast, okay?

I'’m not even hungry either. I'’m just gonna go to work.

Be careful, George, or they'’re gonna put a cone on you.

You are not going anywhere with that leg. Sit down.

Just call the office

and tell them that you need the week off.

Sweet! It'’ll be you and me, Georgie, all day long.

We can play fetch. You can rub my belly, give me extra doggie treats.

Just try not to make a mess around the house while you'’re here, okay?

Because Friday is our Halloween housewarming party,

and it'’s our last chance to make a good impression on the neighbors.

Okay.

All right. And stay out of trouble, you.

Yeah, you hear that?

Honey? Yeah.

I was talking to you.

Oh. Okay.

Busted!

Stewey?

What? Put the egg down.

I'’m hungry. It'’s an egg. Stop it!

Leave it alone.

We'’re gonna get in trouble, okay?

We gotta make a good impression. Let'’s go.

Here she comes.

All right, let'’s see, we'’ve got Ted Stein

and Stewey McMahon.

Aren'’t you just precious people?

Two counts of breaking and entering.

Two counts of attempted theft.

Two counts of animal endangerment.

I don'’t even want to ask what that'’s about.

One count of vandalism of public property. Quite the resume.

Thank you. I told you!

Um, Miss-- Ms. or Mrs.?

Mrs. is fine.

Miss Cloverfield, um,

I just want you to know that Stewey and I

are very, very happy to be here.

Thank you very much for giving us this chance, and, uh,

we plan on becoming very productive members of society, and we thank you so much

for this opportunity.

And might I add,

you look very beautiful today.

Well, let'’s get one thing perfectly clear, twinkletoes:

I don'’t like you.

I didn'’t like you before I came in this room.

I don'’t even like you before you were born.

I'’m not even sure I like your mother.

So, what we'’re gonna do, we're gonna start all over again.

This is gonna be a fresh start for the both of you.

You will complete the work release program.

Every single step.

And if I'’m lucky,

I will make upstanding citizens of the two of you.

Otherwise, it'’s back to prison for both of you.

And I don'’t mean just a year this time

because this is my world, baby, and in my world,

characters pay for their crimes.

Do you have that?

Now, got that out of the way.

Have I got the perfect assignment for the two of you.

Thanks, Ted. Look what you got us into.

Jackpot! Barbecue! My favorite flavor.

Thank you, my friend. You know what goes with this? A can of cola.

One cola coming right up.

Oh, do I got him trained.

Okay, here we go. Just a little tug here.

Pull and, uh, bingo!

Hey, thanks, buddy.

What do you think? Chappy marathon?

No wife, no kids, no work.

Sounds good to me. There we go. Share the love. This is the life,baby.

One for you. Absolutely.

One for me. Love it. Mmm! Come on, keep '’em comin'.

Let'’s go. Let'’s have a contest.

Oh, I'’m on. Let's go. Down. Mm! Here we go.

Umm. Best day ever!

Ah. How much TV can I watch? How many chips can I eat?

What is it, Georgie?

How about some fresh air?

This is so much fun. I wanna try.

That is the coolest thing I'’ve ever seen!

Huh?

What?

I am hurrying.

George, George, no, no, no. N-N-Not Mr. Weagle.

No, no, don'’t-- Oops.

What the-- What the heck?

Oh!

Oh!

Hey, honey, you'’re--

Bannister!

Sorry. My bad.

Uh, why don'’t we go inside?

George! Ahh--

He shouldn'’t cry over spilt milk.

What'’s happening to this neighborhood? I told you we should'’ve moved.

Hey, G-man!

Look what the cat dragged in.

Ah. What'’s up, Max?

Well, nice work last night.

Waking up the whole neighborhood, maybe the whole town.

Way to impress your new neighbors, duh!

Don'’t you work for a living?

Oh, come on, G-man!

You know I make web sites at home.

What a nerd!

Which reminds me,

if the missus needs to hit me up for a web site,

you just give me a jingle.

Give her a discount.

Okay. Yeah.

We'’ll be sure to let her know.

So, uh...

did you get a look at what was going on up in there?

No, why?

Oh, come on.

Guy'’s been living there nine months.

No one knows anything about him. Nothing?

No one knows anything?

Is he living there alone?

Yes, he is.

With that creepy dog of his.

Creepy? More like psychotic.

If you ask me,

I think he'’s a mad scientist.

The postman tells me he gets these mysterious packages,

some of them marked "hazardous."

You see, George? You see?

I told you I had a bad feeling about him.

I mean, who knows what kind of weird experiments he'’s performing up there.

You know, with... with...

eight-legged pigs,

or... flying gerbils.

Icks! Flying gerbils?

Uh, it'’s not too late to move again, is it, George?

Uhh!

He could be up there right now.

Right now?

What?

One, two, three, four, five, six.

Look, Mother, it'’s that creepy neighbor.

Honey, look. What?

Come on. Come on. What, what-- Wh-Who'’s that?

It'’s him.

It'’s her.

What is that?

I don'’t know.

I'’m telling you, Georgie, this guy is bad news.

Those aren'’t dog biscuits.

Well, uh, listen, I, uh, I gotta go.

There'’s a special one-hour Judge Jimmy. I can'’t miss it.

Good luck.

And he wonders why he'’s still single.

I'’m telling you, Zeus,

I don'’t know what's going on, but something'’s afoot.

I think so, too, Georgie. I think so, too.

Rusty, what'’s up, dawg?

Hey, kid, wanna play?

Look, out, ladies. Oscar is on the prowl.

Hey, that'’s mine! Get back here!

Finders, keepers.

I know I put that bone in here somewhere.

I'’ll get it, I'll get it!

Gotcha! I got it! I got it!

Sanitation? Yoga?

You gotta be kidding me. We should have just stayed in prison.

Over here. Got a fresh one for ya.

I swear those dogs are watching me.

It'’s all in your head, Stewey.

It'’s not in my head, Ted! I don'’t like dogs.

I can swear they'’re watching me with those brown, little beady eyes right now.

Of course we'’re watching you. You'’re an idiot.

Get out of here. Why don'’t you make me, tubby?

Shoo! This is our park!

I can'’t stand those dogs, Ted.

The feeling'’s mutual, pal.

Stewey, I was reading my book,

and it says that we are stuck in what is called

a "self-destructive cycle."

Listen, Ted, I can'’t go straight. You understand me?

I tried to go straight before. I can'’t do it.

Relax. Stewey, nobody'’s going straight.

Okay? We just have to find a way to break the cycle. All right.

Push back a couple years of bad karma,

and then-- whoo-whoop foop-- we'’re on Easy Street.

Easy Street.

They got Chinese food on Easy Street? They got burritos on Easy Street?

Probably. You better make sure, '’cause I'm sick of this, Ted.

I been out a half hour. You got me cleaning stuff.

You got me picking up dog poop. You got me picking up garbage.

I can'’t do it no more. You got me sweating up a storm. Look!

I'’m sweating, you understand me?

Ew.

You got a little-- You got some--

What?

Did I get it?

Yeah, you got it. Where you going?

I'’m talking to you. I can'’t go clean.

I can'’t do it! What'’s that smell?

Ted! Come back here, Ted.

Hah! And they call me fat.

Aren'’t we a little too old to be carving pumpkins?

Ben, this is a Bannister family tradition.

I did it with my dad, he did it with his,

and now I'’m doing it with you.

What about me, George? Don'’t I get a pumpkin?

Can'’t we do something fun? Let'’s break out the Ouija board!

Absolutely not. It'’s not good to mess around with that stuff.

Not with All Hallow'’s Eve just around the corner.

There'’s no such things as ghosts, right, Mommy?

Sure there are. Of course not, sweetheart.

No, honey, there'’s no such thing as ghosts.

Don'’t worry, Kara. He'’s just pullin' your paw.

Aren'’t you, George?

Okay.

Zeus, the lights, please.

Oh, boy.

Here we go.

George? What?

What are you doing?

It'’s time Ben and Kara knew about

the story of the Hookmen from Halloween.

The what?

I don'’t think that'’s a good idea.

It was a cold and quiet night,

George?

Much like the one... tonight.

Your mother and I were going out on a date.

Don'’t listen to him.

We ran out of gas and broke down

just outside of town,

but it was right next to the railroad tracks.

Choo-choo.

And as your mother and I sat quietly in the car,

we heard a noise.

It was a thump... and a thump.

And we thought,

it'’d get further and further away.

And did it?

No. It got closer.

And closer, with a thump and a thump.

Then I heard a noise. It was metal on metal!

And as I looked outside the window,

I saw...

What?

I saw a hook! Ah!

George! What?

You have scared her to death.

She'’s gonna have nightmares now.

Belinda, it'’s a Halloween story.

George!

Good going, Dad.

Ben, come on! You love Halloween stories.

This whole family has got to get in the mood.

Zeus, it wasn'’t that bad, was it?

I'’m sleeping in your bed tonight, George.

All right, buddy, let'’s make it quick.

It'’s cold out here.

Oh, George, look.

Something'’s going on next door.

What'’s going on?

Who would'’ve thought of getting a delivery in the middle of the night?

Okay, so the mail guys got new uniforms?

Maybe it'’s new equipment for his experiments.

I don'’t know. That'’s not normal.

Okay, Georgie, we have to tell somebody.

Yeah. I'’ll tell Belinda.

Come on.

Belinda, I'’m telling you, they had this van that pulled up,

and these guys in robes came out with this equipment,

and they were taking it out of the van and bringing it to the creepy house.

Honey, it sounds like they were just getting a delivery of some kind, okay?

I'’m gonna go to sleep. Okay?

You know Weird Max?

He said that the mailman told him that this guy'’s some kind of scientist.

George?

Yeah? So what if he is a scientist?

Yeah, like a crazy, spooky Copernicus scientist.

George, I can see that you have completely overreacted to the situation.

You have already completely terrified your daughter.

Do you really want to make it worse?

Yeah. I think our daughter should be terrified.

It'’ll thicken the Bannister skin.

There'’s some crazy stuff going on over there, Belinda.

I'’m telling you, it happened.Okay.

Okay, okay. Honey? It happened.

I believe you, okay?

Now, unlike you, I have to get up and go to work in the morning.

So I'’m gonna go to sleep, okay?

Honey, listen to this.

"Two high-voltage electron generators

were stolen from the Semaneck power plant late last night."

Hmm.

You know what I'’m thinking?

Maybe that'’s what those guys were carrying up to the house!

I knew he was no good.

Two high-voltage electron generators. You know what that means?

They have enough power... George.

Enough power to do what, Daddy?

Didn'’t you ever see Frankenstein?

Enough power to get one of those

ultra-powerful hair dryers like your mama wants.

Sweetheart, you just eat your breakfast and don'’t listen to your father

because sometimes he says crazy things.

I'’m telling you, this guy is up to no good, Georgie.

We gotta be on high alert here.

Oh!

Can I come in?

Sure. Over there.

Something wrong with the doorbell?

Hi. Hi.

Hi, Monique. Hi.

I hope I'’m not intruding.

Oh, no, not at all.

Can I get you some cereal or--

I know. How about some pants?

No, thanks, no. I'’m not gonna stay.

I just wanted to find out if any of you had seen Rufus.

Something happened to Rufus?

Is that a cat?

Yes. A very beloved cat.

He'’s been missing since last night.

Last night? Huh?

Kent said he saw him playing with you-know-who'’s dog after supper,

but he didn'’t answer the door.

I don'’t think he'’s a people person.

Wait. Th-The neighbor'’s dog? Uh-oh.

Anyway, if you wouldn'’t mind,

I'’d appreciate it if you'd show these to anyone

who might know where my poor, defenseless little pookie-poo is.

Sure thing, Monique.

Thanks.

Bye, George.

Bye, Monique.

Oh, goodness. Well, that poor thing.

She just really loves this little cat.

Sure hope she finds him.

Yeah, well, probably dead and buried in someone'’s yard.

What was that? I just said that the coffee is very good,

and Rufus is probably running around someone'’s backyard.

Oh. Well, good. You can just keep your eye out for him

while you'’re recuperating.

Oh! Honey!

Watch. That'’s the bad leg.

And promise me. Yeah?

No more snooping around the neighbor'’s yard.

Okay, let'’s see what we got.

Wow! These toys are a lot fancier than when I was a kid.

You'’re telling me. My toys just squeak.

Okay, Eli Cole, show me what you'’re up to.

So, what do you see, Georgie? Anything?

All right, we got a bogey in the southeast perimeter.

Man! Look at the security system this psycho has.

Uh, what is that in the ground?

Looks like his dog likes to dig, I'’ll tell you that.

Yeah, those would be some pretty big bones there, George.

All right, let'’s check out inside, see what we got.

What is that? That doesn'’t look like a recipe for candied apples.

I want a turn, Georgie. Let me look!

What the heck?

"Countdown to zero hour."

That doesn'’t sound good.

Where the heck did he go?

Whoa! How ya doin'’?

Hi. How are ya?

I, uh...

Sorry, I'’m birdwatching. Little hobby of mine.

Nutjob.

You think he bought it?

Well, if something'’s gonna go down in two days,

we'’re gonna have to get inside, Zeus.

Uh, George, y-you mean you actually wanna go...

inside the house?

Now, remember, Mommy,

I wanna go to every house in the neighborhood this year.

Don'’t shortchange me my candy, all right?

Nice outfits. Love the color.

Ted, how come we can'’t go trick-or-treating?

You really want to risk our freedom for a little bit of candy?

It depends. What type of candy they got?

Remember what I told you about being stuck in a self-destructive cycle?

Ted, you'’re starting to scare me with the self-help stuff.

Do you really think it'’s our destiny to be stuck here

picking up trash and dog poop for the rest of our lives?

No!

No. So we gotta break the cycle.

I got plans. Big plans. You got plans, right?

You still wanna open up your little butcher shop

right there on the beach, right?

Yeah. Okay, so we finish

Miss Cloverfield'’s stupid little program,

we'’re on the first flight to Daytona, and we'’re hooking up with Tony Roe.

No more picking up dog poop.

No more picking up dog poop.

How you gonna do that?

I don'’t know. I'’ll think of something.

Hey, what'’s up, buddy?

I want some! Me! Me! No, no, no, no.

You can'’t have this.

This, my friend, is a store-bought pumpkin pie

that we'’re gonna give to our wonderful neighbor, Mr. Cole.

Ah! I see where you'’re going with this.

Place it into the pre-heated oven

for approximately five minutes.

Watch out, Julia Child.

And we have ourselves a home-baked pumpkin pie.

Sneaky. I love it!

Hi. Hey.

What you doing, Daddy? Oh, I just made

a little pumpkin pie for Mr. Cole.

You just wanna go inside his house.

Uh, well, you know what, son?

There'’s nothing wrong with being a little neighborly.

Fine. Then we'’re coming with you.

I don'’t think that'’s a good idea.

Honey? What?

Take a look.

What?

Mmmgh! Look at that.

Come on, George. You watch the cop shows.

We got a pie, not a warrant.

Hey.

I don'’t see any sign of Cujo anywhere.

Godspeed, G-man.

Now or never, Zeus.

Why don'’t we just friend him on Facebook?

Look, Daddy. He fixed the scarecrow you broke.

Oh, yeah. What do you know?

Ugh!

That'’s disgusting! Eww!

Ugh!

Gross!

All right. Don'’t worry about it now, Ben.

You sure we shouldn'’t wait for backup?

Age before beauty, Daddy.

Huh? Oh, yeah.

Yeah, yeah, normally.

But in a situation like this, honey,

you know, Daddy'’s hands are full.

Maybe...

Cowards.

Aw, shucks. No one'’s home. Let'’s get goin', guys.

Guess he wants us to come in.

Fine. Everyone, follow me.

Mr. Cole?

George Bannister from next door.

George, uh, I think we should get out of here,

Hello? Mr. Cole?

This is gonna be good.

Uh, we baked you a nice, fresh pumpkin pie.

A little friendly thing.

Wait for me!

Here, buddy.

I don'’t believe that they got nuts. I love nuts.

Look, Daddy. He'’s got fish.

Oh, yeah.

Sometimes they like you to play with them.

Look, finger food! Ow!

Ah!

Dad, are you okay? Zeusie!

Yeah, I'’m fine, Ben.

Boy!

I can'’t take you anywhere.

What is it, Daddy?

Rufus'’s collar.

Rufus? You mean, Monique'’s missing cat?

Dad! Look. Over there.

Who'’s that?

Here.

Hey, Mr. Cole.

George Bannister.

These are my kids, Ben and Kara.

I was wondering if you'’d like a--

Oh! How you doin'’?

What, you never saw a skeleton before?

You'’re the new neighbors.

Yes. Yeah, I'’m George Bannister.

And these are my...

my kids.

This is my son--

Kara, my daughter,

and Ben, my son.

And, of course, Zeus.

You know, like the Greek god.

I'’m Medusa, like the Goddess of Death!

Oh, that'’s nice.

Eli Cole.

What are you doing in my house?

Trying to find out what you'’re up to.

Well, we were just out walking Zeus,

and we thought we would come over

and bring you a nicely fresh pumpkin pie

I baked for you.

I hate pumpkin pie.

Oh.

Medusa, why don'’t you take Zeus and the children

and show them around,

while I entertain Mr. Bannister.

Come.

Here, honey.

If we'’re not back in ten minutes,

call Search and Rescue.

Watch out for trapdoors.

This way, blondie.

Ladies first. Come on, kids.

Can I get you anything? A Bloody Mary.

No, water'’s fine. Thank you.

You know, I was just noticing your fish tank here.

I was wondering what kind of fish you have in here.

Piranha. Oh, hey, piranha.

Here'’s your water.

Oh.

Yeah, I'’m sorry about that.

Sit. Oh, yeah, sure.

You'’re not thirsty?

Oh, no. No, I actually had a big lunch, so...

Drink it.

Okay.

Quite a glass of water you got there.

Cashews?

Cashews? No, thank you.

I don'’t like furry cashews.

Who you calling "furry"?

That'’s just Shelley. She'’s harmless.

So, Mr. Bannister...

you'’re the one that destroyed my display in the yard.

Yes, yes, I am, and I'’m terribly sorry, sir.

It was an accident, and I'’d be glad to pay you back.

Dr. Cole, is it?

Professor. And that won'’t be necessary.

Oh. Okay.

Professor. Thanks.

Professor of, uh...

Paranormal research.

Oh, paranormal research. Oh!

Very sorry, sir, about that.

I didn'’t mean to... alarm you.

Sometimes I don'’t-- Oh!

This is quite a house you got here.

You know, the workmanship is just-- You don'’t see this woodwork anymore.

The problem with these homes is the attics.

Very drafty. I mean, we can jump up there and take a look.

No. No.

Okay.

The house is settling.

So, anything you want to tell me about Rufus,

the missing cat from across the street?

What are you supposed to be, some kind of cop?

Some kind of cop? No. I'’m a retired K-9 police dog.

A police dog that'’s afraid of thunderstorms?

You'’ve gotta be kidding me!

Hey, I wasn'’t afraid.

That'’s not what I saw.

Yeah? What about the strange noises coming from your house at night?

Wanna say anything about those?

I'’m not gonna say another word until my lawyer gets here.

That'’s fine, but just so you know, I'’ll be watching you.

No, I'’ll be watching you.

Find anything?

I think I found a doll.

I noticed you'’ve had some kind of a power drain or something.

I noticed a green light upstairs.

Are you running any kind of heavy machinery?

You'’re bugging me with all these questions.

It'’s an old house. The wiring needs to be redone.

Hmm. Interesting, because I also heard some loud noises

late at night.

I find that Halloween

is a particularly interesting time

for me to indulge my... talents.

I do most of the legwork.

Talents. Right.

And Halloween is about, what, two days away?

Ew, Louise! I have an idea.

We'’re having a bit of a get-together tomorrow night.

Halloween party for the neighbors, you know.

Why don'’t you stop on by and, you know, bring the wife?

Unfortunately, I'’ll be working at the school lab

all night long. Bummer.

In fact,

if you don'’t mind, I'’ve really got to be getting back to work.

Yeah. Okay. Well, I'’m sure you have plenty to do.

And thank you for the water. That was delicious.

It was a pleasure meeting you, Professor.

Happy Halloween.

Oh! Yessiree.

Okay, kids, Zeus, let'’s go! Come on!

Okay, take it easy.

I believe they'’re starting to suspect.

Two days, Medusa.

Just two more days.

Would anybody happen to know what this meeting is about?

Maybe he and the kids saw something when they broke in next door.

I'’ll bet you 10 bucks this is a waste of time.

Oh, honey, behave.

Good afternoon, guys. Some of you are probably wondering

why I even called this little meeting.

We'’re supposed to be having dinner in the city. Sushi.

Yeah. What'’s going on, Bannister?

Well, some of you might recall that earlier in the week,

my friend Zeus and I

have heard some mysterious noises coming from...

this house.

Not to mention a strange light

coming from the attic.

Was that before or after you started crying like a little girl

and woke up the whole block?

Laugh as you will,

but let me tell you something.

This house belongs to the one and only

Professor Eli Cole.

And his partner in crime, Medusa.

Yes! I knew he was a scientist. I knew it!

Except, Max, there'’s a problem.

I happened to call every college within a 50-mile radius,

and no one has heard of Eli Cole.

George?

Maybe you should just get to the point.

Tell them about the electron generators, George.

Please, Belinda, Exhibit A.

This you probably recognize

as a high-voltage electron generator,

stolen from the Semaneck power plant late last night.

Not one hour later, Professor Eli Cole received a mysterious late-night delivery

with the same size and description as this.

And the deliver guys were wearing creepy robes. You should'’ve seen it.

Can you believe--

Exhibit B: Rufus.

Honey?Yeah.

Rufus. Sorry.

The cat, Rufus, missing

ever since the same generator had been stolen.

I already told Monique I saw him playing with Cole'’s dog. Uh-huh.

Oh, you did? You told Monique that you saw him with Cole'’s dog?

Show them the collar, George.

Well, then, if that'’s the case,

then how is this in the house?

Rufus'’s collar!

That'’s right, Max. Rufus'’s collar.

And also take a look at Exhibit C.

Honey?

What is this?

Honey, that'’s Exhibit C.

Okay? Just pass it.

No, thanks.

What, did you blow your nose in this?

That, my friend, was taken off the shoe

of my son, Ben, after he tromped in the yard of one Eli Cole.

No, it'’s true, people! I was there!

And this is important, why?

This shows that there'’s evidence that there's paranormal activity out there.

Please stop laughing.

Oh, this is evidence.

Evidence that you'’re losing your mind.

Oh! Ooh.

Oh!

That'’s disgusting!

That'’s Evidence C!

Does anybody have a Handi-Wipe or a Wet-Nap?

Oh, thank you. Hey...

Oh, he got slimed! That'’s awesome.

Also, might I add, that this gentleman has a chart

counting out the days to something called "Zero Hour."

Do I know what it is? No, I don'’t, but I'll tell you what.

I'’m not gonna put my family at risk, and I don'’t think you should either.

And just what do you propose we do about it?

I propose we go over there and see where the proof is. All right? Who'’s with me?

That'’s it. I'’m out of here.

Come on. We need the Weagles.

Good night, Bannister. Oh, Bruno.

We'’re outta here.

Come on. Good night, Bannister.

Edelsteins, please.

Oh, uh...

Keep it. Yeah.

Kent? Marilyn? It'’s okay.

Ohh... So you really found this stuff in his yard?

Max, I'’m telling you, this guy is up to no good.

All I need is the evidence.

Well, let me know when you find it.

I wouldn'’t go near that place if you paid me.

Bye. Can you believe that?

Are you pleased with yourself, George?

Do you see what you'’ve done?

Belinda, I feel very strongly about this stuff, okay?

Oh, George.

Where you going? We live here.

George, let '’em go. You and me can stop this guy.

I need some time to think. Let'’s go to the park.

Give me that. What are you doing?

I can'’t control myself. Stop it! Give me the stick!

Do you want to go back to jail? Just give me the stick.

Will these two just give it a rest?

I can'’t believe it. I mean, not even Max seemed to care.

He'’s scared, George.

They probably all are.

Yeah, well, I just thought getting out

would clear my mind, but I can'’t stop thinking about it.

Someone'’s got to help us get into that house.

No! Can'’t be.

I need the stick!

Hey.

Zeus, look at that.

Aren'’t those the two guys that broke into our house

and stole Bella?

Oy vey. What are they doing?

Yeah. I think it is.

You know what? You'’re right. Let me at '’em, George.

Stop it! You hear that? You hear that dog barking?

It'’s a dog barking! No, no, no. That'’s a familiar bark right there.

It'’s every dog bark-- We'’re in a dog park! Give me the stick!

What a coincidence.

What are the odds? Do you know what this is?

It'’s a really bad idea.

No! This is a sign, buddy.

We'’re finally gonna find out what'’s inside that house.

Look, I'’m all in favor of bringing this guy down,

but there has got to be another way.

Look. Just let me do all the talking.

My lips are sealed.

Hey! Would you pull yourself together, okay?

We'’re gonna be late for our next appointment. We have to go?

Yes, we have to go!

Stop it! Let go! Let me take it.

Stop it! Let it go now!

Excuse me. Guys. It'’s him! It's them!

That'’s the guy who put us in jail!

And if it was up to me, you'’d still be there.

Relax, relax, relax.

I was just out walking my dog Zeus here, and...

I noticed that you were picking up some dog poop.

Yes, sir, Mr. Bannister.

That'’s part of our probation.

We are trying to become more productive members of society.

So, we'’re not doing anything wrong.

Oh, well, fantastic.

That goes right in line with what I have to say.

You know, it'’s kind of crazy,

but I have a little bit of a proposition for you.

Do you got a moment to hear it out?

Don'’t do it. Don't do it. I don'’t trust him.

Do you mind if I confer with my associate for one second?

Sure. Yeah.

Okay? You hear my stomach?

I'’m anxious. My stomach is never wrong.

Okay, listen. Them being here. Us being here.

Okay, I think this is destiny.

No, it'’s trouble. No. Okay.

We'’re the unstoppable force, right? No.

We'’re the unmovable object. No, what happens when two forces--

opposing forces-- collide?

You call your insurance company. No.

They reverse direction.

I got that good canine hearing thing, George,

and I'’m telling you, these guys are trouble.

This is our chance to change everything.

No more bad luck. Okay, no more probation.

No more picking up dog poop!

You sure? Yes.

Mr. Bannister, we'’d like to hear what you have to say,

but we'’re late for our next appointment.

Okay, well, I'’ll tell you what.

Zeus and I have nothing to do. Why don'’t we go with you on the next appointment?

What kind of an appointment is it?

Hey, why are we here again?

Court-ordered. And there'’s a lot of hot chicks here. Psst!

She don'’t like me '’cause my "chi's" cloudy.

Stewey, how many times I gotta tell you, it'’s not "chi," it's "chee."

Ugh! Someone, please, crack open a window!

And coming to your hands and knees.

Inhale,

and thread your right arm through your left.

What kind of position is this? Mr. Bannister,

what is it that you wanted to talk to us about?

I want you guys to break in to my neighbor'’s house.

What? Shh!

I told you this was a bad idea.

Sorry.

Look, it'’s really important.

This guy'’s up to something bad.

I don'’t know what it is. I gotta find out.

Ted, I don'’t like it. I don'’t like it, Ted. Shh.

Oh, well, they'’re not interested. Time to go.

You guys are gonna be heroes.

You'’re not doing anything wrong. You'’re not stealing anything.

You'’re gonna break in, find the evidence that I need to put him away,

and that'’s it.

Ted, I always wanted to be a hero. You know that.

And coming to fire log pose.

I don'’t know about this, Mr. Bannister.

We'’re already on probation. It'’s a huge risk for us.

I'’ll pay you guys. Wait, you'’re gonna pay these guys?

How much? Hey!

Let the man make an offer.

I don'’t know. How much you want?

How '’bout some candy? Stewey, really?

It'’s Halloween. I got no candy.

Okay, fine. Candy.

Now, wait a minute. What about me?

Coming in to downward facing dog.

Finally, my kind of pose!

I just want to make sure you guys are in or not.

How '’bout some peanut butter cups?

Deal. Get you a whole case.

What? I know how to negotiate.

When?

Tonight.

This is the address.

I'’m gonna get outta here. I got a little stomach issue going on. Come on, Zeus.

All right, people, move it. Canine coming through.

Right leg forward into pigeon.

Ted, I can'’t get out of this.

Ted, I can'’t get out of this.

Namaste.

And a very Namaste to you, too.

Oh... Oh, boy.

There you are, George. You are just in time to help me

with all these decorations for the party tonight.

Yeah, I got a little situation going on right now. You what?

Yeah, some business stuff I'’m gonna go take care of,

but I'’ll do that in a day or so.

Okay. All right.

All right, Zeusie. Zeusie, you wanna help me?

Oh, good boy. Always happy to help.

Go ahead. Go help George with whatever'’s...

Here'’s the place, Ted.

Look at that house, Stewey.

Forget the house, Ted. Look at the decorations.

I bet they have good candy there for Halloween.

Popcorn balls and peanut brittle

and candied apples and chocolate mo-mos.

When I go trick-or-treating, that'’s exactly where I'm going.

We'’re not going trick-or-treating, Stewey.

Ted, you hear that?

Bannister didn'’t say nothing about no dog, Ted!

Don'’t worry about the dog. I'’ll handle the dog.

That'’s what you said the last two times, Ted.

Stewey, I swiped a couple of sleeping pills

from Miss Cloverfield'’s purse.

Okay? A couple of pills, little juicy sausage.

Night-night, doggy.

You got sausage? Can I have some?

No, Stewey!

We got movement.

That'’s him.

Ted, look at that.

Ho-ho!

Hallelujah.

A load like that, Stewey, we could retire.

Ted, Ted, Ted.

You said you weren'’t gonna take nothing, Ted.

That'’s not nothing, Stewey. That'’s a trunk full of solid gold.

Our luck, it'’s changing. It'’s going good now. Come on, Stewey. Look at that!

Ted, I can'’t go back to jail. I told you that before.

I told that lady at the office before. I'’m not going back to jail!

We'’re not going back to jail!

If we get caught, which we'’re not gonna get caught,

we pin it on Bannister.

He hired us. It'’s all on him. Hmm?

Ted, I told you before: You always know how to make me feel better.

Don'’t touch me, Stewey. Ted, can I just trick-or-treat real quick?

No trick-or-treating. Let'’s get out of here. We'’ll come back at dark.

What'’s wrong with you? You'’re no fun, Ted!

That'’s what the problem is.

Mmm-mwah!

Oh, good, you have some-- Oh, Good and Bad. I gotcha.

Oh, I love your costumes. Thanks.

Wow. Did you make that yourself?

Yes, I actually did. I sure did.

Oh, oh, hey, kids, kids, no running in the house!

They'’re excited. Oh, come on in, come on in.

What a wonderful job you'’ve done. Welcome.

Oh, well, thank you. There'’s punch here on the table and cupcakes.

We'’ve got games in the other room and pizza in the kitchen.

Just make yourselves at home.

George! George, the Weagles are here.

Okay, honey, tell the Weagles I'’ll be right there.

Or not.

All right, here we go. All set up.

This is looking good, buddy.

Zeus, where are you? Zeus!

What'’s the matter, buddy?

I told you. I'’m afraid of thunder.

Aw, come on. The thunder, isn'’t it? And the lightning.

Don'’t worry about it. Little thunderstorm. Be over in a second.

That'’s easy for you to say.

Peanut Butter, this is Jelly.

Peanut Butter, this is Jelly. What'’s your twenty?

Twenty? Peanut Butter?

Pea-- Is this Ted?

Put Ted on.

Gimme-- Shh!

Ted, where are you?

Jelly, this is Peanut Butter.

We'’re moving into position. Over.

I smell intruders.

Ted, the dog! Shh-shh!

The dog, Ted. Shh!

What'’s that, Ted? Sausage.

Give me some. I'’m hungry. Give me that!

It'’s got sleeping pills in it.

That'’s all right. I'’ll eat a little bite.

Stop it!

Here you go.

Three, two...

Eh?

You go in there first. I'’m scared of the dog.

Sleeping.

Close it, close it. Close it, Stewey.

All right, Stewey, give me the clippers.

No. I'’m cutting this this time.

Give me the clippers, Stewey.

No. Don'’t you remember those houses

over on the north end, those high-end alarm systems?

I remember, and we almost got caught.

Let me do this. I worked for an electrician for three months.

Watch this. Move over.

Careful. Wanna pick the right one.

Ted! Let go of it, Stewey. Let go!

Ted! Ted!

Ted! Ted! Ted!

You okay?

Stew-Stewey. You okay?

Huh? You all right?

Your heart okay?

Yeah. Okay.

What just happened?

Okay, let'’s go.

What was that? Are you guys all right?

G-George! Someone'’s coming.

Come in. Hey.

Mom'’s looking for you. Okay. Yeah.

Zeus and I are getting just the final touches on our costumes.

We'’ll be right out. We definitely weren'’t spying on the neighbor'’s house.

Jelly, this is Peanut Butter. Over.

What was that? What was what?

Whatever. It'’s just-- Mom wants you to talk to the guests.

Okay. I'’ll be out in a second.

I'’ll be mingling like crazy.

Okay. Okay.

Whew! Oh, Zeus. That was a close one, buddy.

Not sure I can be by your side on this one, Georgie.

All right. I'’m gonna go mingle with the guests.

You stay here, okay? You gonna be all right?

I'’ll keep my eye on Ted and Stewey over there.

Awesome. Man the fort.

Okay, wait for me, Georgie!

All right. I learned this in Europe.

What, the slow part of Europe? Give me this.

Stewey-- Let me show you how we do it in Harlem.

Watch this. Stewey, no, no, no. Don'’t, don't.

Stew--

Okay.

Ted, I did it! Okay, okay.

Stop. Give me a flashlight.

I didn'’t bring no flashlight.

You forgot the flashlights? You didn'’t tell me to bring no flashlight, Ted.

It'’s a nighttime job, Stewey!

How are we supposed to see what we'’re doing?

Turn on the lights. There'’s no power.

There'’s got to be a candle around here somewhere. I'’ll find it.

You better find it!

Aha!

Good.

See? I'’m happy I shoplifted that lighter.

Ted. This place looks like a haunted mansion.

Stewey,

there'’s no such thing as ghosts!

Ted! Look!

Stewey! No funny business, okay? Remember what we'’re here for!

What are we looking for? I thought we were trick-or-treating.

How about a trunk of gold?

Okay? Or anything else out of the ordinary.

Like what Mr. Bannister said.

Okay.

Ted!

What? Nothing.

What'’s wrong with you?

It'’s all in your head. Knock it off!

Are you sure? Yes, I'’m sure.

Jelly, this is Peanut Butter. Jelly, this is Peanut Butter. Come in.

We swim 50 laps every morning.

Mm-hmm. Twenty more after dinner.

I bet you can'’t doggy-paddle, though, can you?

Jelly, this is Peanut Butter.

Jelly, this is Peanut Butter. Over.

Excuse me for a second.

Yeah, yeah, Peanut Butter, this is Jelly. Go.

Okay, we'’re inside. Okay, what you'’re

looking for is probably in the attic.

Okay, we got it. Over and out.

I don'’t-- George, George.

Yeah, honey.

Is everything okay?

Is anything ever just okay with this family?

Yeah. Great.

Is that a walkie-talkie?

Yeah. Uh-huh.

Honey, who you talking to? Nobody, honey.

It'’s just a toy. You know, a little pirate radio?

Uh, really, George?

Ted, Ted, Ted, hold on.

Quit being such a baby.

Ted, I'’m scared, not a baby.

Ted, I hate spiders more than I hate dogs!

Hey, what did we ever do to you?

Ted, wait for me.

Stewey, stop! Ted, I'’m scared.

Nothing to be scared of.

Ted? I think this house is haunted, Ted. Ted!

What? It'’s haunted. I'’m telling you.

You'’re haunted, Stewey! You'’re haunting me!

Now, be quiet. Let'’s get this done.

George. Yeah.

Honey, you'’re acting very strange.

Even for you. What is going on?

Nothing, Belinda. Everything'’s great.

I mean, come on. This is a strange holiday.

You'’re out of punch here, G-man.

Oh, hey, sorry, Max. I'’m gonna go grab that.

Listen. You stay with the guests.

You look delightful, Little Bo something.

And, you know, have a good night.

Come on, Zeus. Coming!

Honey--

Georgie, you see anything? What'’s going on?

Man, I don'’t see anything out there. No sign.

Peanut Butter, come in. I'’m not seeing anything. Where are you guys?

Peanut Butter, this is Jelly.

Where are you? What'’s going on?

Ha!

Ah! Hey! Stop messing around with that junk!

Let'’s find the gold. I looked for it already.

I think the ghost stole it.

How many times do I have to tell you?

There'’s no such thing as ghosts!

Ah! Stewey! It won'’t open! It won'’t open!

It won'’t open! Try the other door! Try the other door!

Come on, Ted! Ted!

Ted, I'’m stuck!

Stewey! Push!

I'’m pushing! Ted, push!

I'’m pushing. I'’m pushing!

Ted, the dog!

Pull back, Ted!

I'’m pulling. I'’m pulling!

Pull. Pull!

What was that?

What'’s the matter, buddy?

Aw, the storm, huh?

The storm bothering you? It'’ll be over soon.

George, promise me you won'’t say a word to the other pets.

Oh. Something must have happened to you.

It was my first day on the job.

My partner and I chased a burglar into this building

during a storm, and when I heard the thunder,

I thought it was the burglar shooting at us.

I was so scared, I ran to hide.

My partner trusted me. He needed me. And what did I do?

I let the bad guy get away.

Do you know what us Bannisters do?

We count. Count?

That'’s right, buddy.

We count the seconds after we see the lightning until the thunder.

And then the longer the seconds take,

the further the storm.

I hope so.

Nothing to worry about.

We'’ll tear this place apart till we find that gold.

Ted, I'’m coming with you.

You go that way. I'’m gonna go this way.

Stewey, it'’s...

a bookshelf?

Where is this attic? This is ridiculous.

Come on. Keep looking, Stewey!

Stewey! I'’m tired, Ted.

Ted! Ted! Ted!

Look, Ted!

Stewey! Oh, great job, Stewey.

This has got to be it. It'’s a secret door. How do you--

Ted, in the movies, they usually have like a key in the book thing.

Move the books. It'’s gotta be here.

Maybe there'’s a secret lever or something.

Ted, look. Colorado. Skiing. Fun times.

I don'’t like Colorado no more.

Stewey, come on.Ted.

You always said I was an unstoppable force.

Move out of the way. I'’m going through this door.

All right, Stewey. Get it.

Go get it. Get it, Stewey, get it!

Look at that, Stewey! It'’s open, Ted.

No, no, let me.

Ted, I'’m scared. Don'’t be scared.

A little bit of gas, Ted.

Ted.

Ted.

Ted, wait for me.

Ted, I thought you said you shut the lights off. I did!

Then how come there'’s lights still on? I don'’t know, Stewey!

I'’m not a doctor! Ted, look.

That looks like my eyeball.

Look at this place, Ted.

Ted, I don'’t know. I think Bannister was right.

This place is like one big haunted movie.

Stewey.

There is it.

Isn'’t that the most beautiful thing you'’ve ever seen in your entire life?

I could cry. Don'’t cry, Ted.

I could cry. This is it.

Stewey, this is everything we'’ve ever dreamed of.

Everything I ever wanted. This is--

It'’s--

It'’s candy! Ah!

Ted, it'’s candy! Look!

No, this can'’t be happening.

It'’s happening, Ted! Fun time for Stewey!

Stewey! Stewey, no, no! Don'’t close it! Stewey!

Stewey! Stewey!

The door! Stewey, it closed!

I want to go home! I want to go home! I want to go home!

I want to go home! Mommy!

Mommy, I want to go home! I want to go home!

Ted! Ahhh!

There'’s spiders!

Peekaboo!

Ted! Ted!

Ted! Ted!

Ted! No! Stewey, Stewey, don'’t let it close!

Great, Stewey! Now we'’re both stuck in here.

Oh, boy.

George, I hear a car. I think he'’s coming.

Gotta go, Zeus. Gotta go.

You better stop him before he gets in his house.

10-4.

I'’ll just be here waiting for you.

Ben! George, George, George! There you are.

I thought you were getting the punch. What punch?

What are you talking about? Oh, punch. I'’m getting it.

What do you think I'’m doing? Hey, listen, Ben.

You and Kara are gonna distract Mr. Cole, all right?

What? What what?

Don'’t say "what?" I have a walkie-talkie!

I'’m running this operation! Don'’t let him in the house!

Heads up! Heads up!

I got an idea. Follow me.

Kids, kids, where you go-- Wings, wings, wings, wings!

Uh... would anyone like to bob for apples?

What strange neighbors.

Maybe the storm is over.

You can do it, Zeusie.

Come on, baby, just count.

Just like Georgie said. One Mississippi,

two Mississippi, three Mississippi--

Uhhh!

Whoops.

Excuse me. I'’d like to go home now.

Excuse me!

Now we'’re talkin'.

Mom'’s not gonna like this.

Hey, kids, what are you doing out here in the...

thunderstorm?

H-Hey. Hey, Medusa.

Hey! Nice doggy!

Nice doggy didn'’t come to work today.

Watch this.

Go right. Go right!

Now left. Now left!

I'’ll get you! Get back here!

You in the pirate costume! I'’m talking to you. Get back here!

All right, I'’m gonna try.

Here we go. Yeah!

Go! Look at him go!

Hey, girl. Fetch.

Is that a toy for me? Oh, boy! Oh, boy!

He is so scared. Look at him go!

Whoa! That'’s it! I'’m calling the cops!

I gotta get back to the telescope, see what'’s going on.

Dad'’s gonna be in trouble.

What is going on out here? You--

Benjamin and Kara Bannister, you will listen to your mother right now,

or you will both be grounded until Christmas.

Dad asked us to distract Mr. Cole.

What? Why would he do that?

Look, both of you, inside right now. Get back inside.

Go. Ben.

Oh, George.

You have got to be kidding me.

Ted. Stewey.

Don'’t see that every day.

Ted. Stewey.

Ted.

Stew-- Ooh! George!

Belinda, what are you doing here? What am I doing here?

What are you doing here? I'’m, uh, actually, uh--

George, George, we have to go. I'’m helping with Cole.

Mr. Cole is right outside in the front. He could come in at any minute.

What? Are you-- Yes, Ge--

George, is that-- is that organ playing itself?

Yes, it is. I told you, there'’s weird stuff going on in here.

I was right all along, Belinda. You were right.

Yes, I was right. Listen. I gotta take care of some stuff. What do we do?

Trust me. Take care of what stuff? George!

George-- George!

George. George. No, George, outside.

Outside is that way. Better stay close, honey.

I kind of really think we should go.

George! George!

The doors are opening and closing.

Belinda, that'’s what doors do. Guys?

Wait, wait, wait, wait. Is there someone else here? Guys?

George! We'’re back here! Wait. Who is that?

George, George. Wait for me! Wait for me, George!

Guess what, everybody! I found Rufus!

Hello? Hello!

Rufus. Uh-oh.

Ted. Ted!

I'’m behind the bookcase!

George, what is going on? What?

Nothing. There'’s a hidden door, Belinda.

Who are you talking to? My wife!

Who are you talking to?

Ted and Stewey.

The two guys who broke into our house?

Yeah. I hired them to break into this house.

George, have you completely lost your mind?

I just have to figure out how to move this stupid bookcase.

Thing opens up. I don'’t know where.

Have you tried pushing it? Huh?

Well, not yet, but I was gonna do that.

Uh-huh. Yeah. If you weren'’t here arguing with me the whole time.

Oh, George.

I'’m looking for the door that...

George? It'’s right behind you. Yeah?

Yeah, thought so. All right, thank you. Step back.

Zeus, where'’d everybody go?

Pinch my tuchus and call me Sally! You'’re alive!

Of course I'’m alive. What did you think?

We all thought you were a goner.

No. I finished playing with Medusa,

and I decided to go for a stroll in the woods.

It was such a nice day, and I walked and walked

until I didn'’t know where I was anymore.

Aren'’t cats supposed to have a keen sense of direction?

If you tell anyone, I'’ll kill you.

So, if you'’re alive, that means...

Oh, boy.

Zeus, what is it?

There comes a time in every dog'’s life

where you'’ve got to grab the situation with your paws and take control.

Storm or no storm, George and Belinda are inside that house,

and I'’m not about to let anything happen to them!

It'’s time to face my fears and save Halloween!

Where are you going?

Where do you think you'’re going, blondie?

Get out of my way. I need to get inside the house and save my owner.

He thinks you did something to Rufus.

Rufus? Please!

I couldn'’t hurt him. He'’s my sweetheart.

Say what? I'’ve been head over heels for that hunk

since the day we moved in.

T.M.I. Look, just let me in,

and I promise I'’ll explain everything to you later.

Fine. Thank you.

Good luck, blondie. Stop calling me that!

Have no fear, Zeus is here!

Hello! George!

Belinda!

Where are you guys?

Don'’t be scared. It'’s just a storm.

Here we go.

One Mississippi, two Mississippi...

Talk about some bad gas! Ye-ouch!

Hey, guys, can you hear me? Rufus is alive!

Jeepers creepers!

This house really is haunted.

What are you lookin'’ at, Sir Rust-alot?

Wait a minute.

What, does this ghost run on electricity?

Hey! Hello!

Yo! Anybody in there?

Hey! Hello! Hmm...

Ha! Not so spirited now, are you? Tough guy.

An off switch.

This looks fun.

Never had one lesson.

Ha. That dog wasn'’t half bad.

Hello? Where are you guys?

I can do it. I can do it.

Come on. One Mississippi, two Mississippi.

It'’s all in your head. It'’s all in your head.

Okay, that'’s not in my head! Guys, where are you?

Is that Zeusie?

Zeus! Zeusie! Zeus! Zeus, in the attic!

Hang on, George.

Zeus is coming to the rescue!

All right, there'’s got to be some kind of hidden door behind this shelf somewhere.

Push, push! Push, push, push!

Come on, Zeusie!

Now to find a way to keep it from closing.

Got it! Here I come!

Oh, good doggy! Zeus!

Georgie, I did it!

I conquered my fear of thunder.

Now we can finally get out of here.

Not so fast.

There'’s something you need to see.

What is it, Zeusie?

Ugh. Oh, brother.

Dude, that is one scorchin'’ sunburn!

The mutt'’s trying to tell us something.

What is it, Zeusie?

You ready for this? Check this out.

What is that we'’re looking at?

That'’s the house. Look at that. Every room.

He'’s been staging everything the whole time.

Don'’t you understand? Between the monitor

and the board, don'’t you understand, guys?

Whenever somebody uses parentheses

and shapes we'’re not familiar with,

it means they'’re up to something.

"Countdown to zero hour."

You know what this means, Belinda?

Yes, George. Haunted house.

You know, Belinda, I don'’t even know why I ask.

George? Yeah?

Turn it around. What'’s that?

Turn it around.

"Haunted house plans"?

How do you explain the generators?

None of this was real.

I don'’t understand that.

This is the police. We have the house surrounded.

Come out with your hands up! Uh-oh. Coppers!

That sounds pretty real to me.

Real, real, real, and I'’m not going back to jail.

They'’re gonna go! You!

We'’re not going to jail.

We didn'’t do anything, right?

You and your wife, Miss Bo Peep.

We work for you. I got no time for this stuff.

I can'’t go to jail. I'’m a minor.

There'’s an exit for ya.

Why am I not surprised?

You'’re a nightmare, Bannister.

You broke in the house. You belong behind bars.

Daddy!

Hey, honey. Listen.

Your dad might be going to the slammer for a little bit.

Just make sure you'’re good to your court-appointed guardian, huh?

I'’ll look after them for you, G-man.

Yeah. Not in a thousand years.

Officers, arrest this man.

On what charge?

Monique, Rufus'’s collar, we found it in the house.

Georgie, about that, um...

Oh, Mr. Cole brought him back this afternoon.

He'’d found him lost in the woods behind his house.

He'’s fine. See?

Weagles, you were at my meeting, right?

The electron generators that were stolen that night, how do you explain it?

Come on, Bannister. That meeting was bogus.

And I want my easel back.

They found those generators last night.

Yeah, a couple of lowlifes were out looking

for copper wire or something. That'’s all it was.

George, we should probably quit while we'’re ahead here.

Okay, how about this?

I happened to call around to all the colleges in the area.

No one has ever heard of Professor Eli Cole.

Oh, yeah! How do you like them apples, Professor?

You called? Sure did.

And you called and you asked for Eli Cole?

You got that right.

Well, Eli'’s my nickname.

My real name is Cornelius.

I'’m Professor Cornelius of the drama department.

Seriously, George?

Well, he'’s good.

Mr. Cole, would you like to press charges?

Officer, I think this is a big misunderstanding.

Yeah, a big, big, big misunderstanding.

Yeah. Yes.

Now, look,

I feel partially responsible for this.

My work and my preoccupation,

I realize I could have done a better job

at introducing myself to you, rather than, you know, bugging you.

Oh...

I do this every year, this haunted house,

for my nieces and nephews and their friends.

I enjoy them enjoying my little, well, special effects.

You know that truck that came, that delivery?

Yeah. Well, those are just props.

Props?

Didn'’t you notice that the guys,

these messengers,

they had theatrical costumes on.

Yeah, I just thought they were--

On second thought,

they were kind of strange uniforms.

Professor Cole, on behalf of the entire Bannister family,

I want to apologize for everything that has happened here tonight.

Right, George?

What about the-- Right, George?

Yes, yes. Apology accepted.

That'’s great. Can we get these off, please? Thank you.

Thank you so much. Thank you.

Hey, what'’s that?

Hey. That'’s mine.

How'’d that get there?

Officer, a ghost! What?

Wait. Come here. Hey! Get '’em!

See you in nine to twelve months, goofballs! Send me a postcard!

I had nothing to do with that.

Hmm...

Listen, we'’ll all get together.

Everybody will come over for swimming.

We have our own pool.

Busy. Yeah, thanks.

Monique!

Great job, Columbo.

We'’ll be seeing you when you get back, genius.

Kent, Marilyn.

Hey, Weagle, give me a call tomorrow.

Yeah, if your phone doesn'’t ring, it's me.

Come on, George. Let'’s go home.

And I'’ll make you some of your favorite pumpkin cookies.

With the chocolate in it? Mm-hmm.

Arrr! Oh, George!

And you, too, Zeusie. I'’m gonna make you something very special.

Because you saved Halloween. You did.

He sure did.

All in a day'’s work.

Come on.

Ahh! This is the life!

Well, if this isn'’t the cutest bunch of ghosts and goblins

you'’ve ever seen!

Hey! Who wants to go trick-or-treating?

Yeah!

Oh! Somebody'’s at the door.

Trick-or-treaters. Yay!

Trick or treat!

Oh, hi!

I have got Grandma'’s homemade pretzels for you guys.

Well, thanks, but can I have some more?

That'’s all I got. You sure?

Those look yummy.

Oh, good. Thanks!

You'’re welcome.

Bye-bye. Have fun.

Happy Halloween.

Hey, guys!

Hey, Mom.

Well, hello! Happy Halloween.

Hi, Grandma!

Come on. We'’re just about to go trick-or-treating. You, too, Zeus.

Ooh! I'’m gonna go get my costume on.

Hey, guys, so how'’s everything with the new house?

Not good. Not good. Well-- George!

He had a little problem with the man who lives next door.

Oh. Huh. So, you know...

Maybe he'’s single.

He'’s definitely single.

Bannister. Zeus Bannister.

What'’s up, Doc?

I'’m here to audition for the Black Swan.

You like to eat wampum?

I'’ll take a kibble, shaken not stirred.

Elementary, my dear Watson.

You ain'’t nothin' but a hound dog, baby.

I can'’t ear you.

That looks perfect. Thanks, Dad.

Guys, check me out.

Speaking of perfect, look at this guy!

I'’m licensed to trick-or-treat. What do you think?

Can we please go trick-or-treating now?

Yes, honey. No, no, no, no, no, no!

No, wait until I take a picture

of my little munchkins first.

Who you callin'’ munchkin? I'’m a certified K-9.

Hey, Belinda, come out of the kitchen!

Just putting some treats in the oven. You go right ahead.

Yeah, maybe we should do it later.

I'’ll get a picture of her later.

Everybody, come on.

Ready? Ahh!

Oh! Somebody'’s a the door.

Trick-or-treaters!

Hold on. Let me get the door.

Trick or treat!

A little too old to go trick-or-treating, aren'’t you?

No.

I mean, no.

Uh, yeah, uh-huh. I'’m gonna say that you are.

No, no, no!

I'’m gonna call the police. I promise you.

Get away from here!

Don'’t call the police.

Does she look familiar to you?

That'’s the fourth house in a row.

I told you, you'’re too old!

Give me some eggs.

We egged the last house.

Give me the toilet paper then.

All right, fine. Here you go. Ahh!

Well, Ted, Ted, wait up! Come here!

Okay, guys. Come on.

Let'’s all group together

and take this picture before you go out.

All right, now, on the count of three

I want everybody in their witchiest of voices

to say "Happy Halloween!"

Happy Halloween!

That'’s a good voice, but wait till I say "three."

All right. Ready? One, two, three!

Happy Halloween!

Oh, that'’s great!

What are you guys waiting for? Come on. Let'’s go!

All right, let'’s go. Come on, everybody!

Yay! Oh, my goodness!

Yo, Roscoe, wanna hear a joke, buddy?

Oh, brother.

Aw, come on. Knock, knock.

Who'’s there?

Philip.

Philip who?

Philip my bag with candy.

Ah ha ha ha! See? I knew you'’d like it.

Come on. Let'’s go trick-or-treating.

Yeah!

Come on. Let me hear it now!

Come on! Whoo!

Go!