Original subtitles

I should have known that that client today was too good to be true. It is so

rare for a groom to take the lead in planning his own wedding.

I thought I was going to be sick when I found out his precious Ashley is

actually a man.

I'm so glad I saw a photo of that couple before we signed the contract.

God, could you imagine if I had gotten roped into planning a wedding for those

people?

Ugh.

Anyway.

I have refused service to that lot before, so they are clearly getting

desperate. Oh my gosh.

That's probably why that underhanded sneak tried to trick me by acting

You know, he kept referring to Ashley as they.

I should have seen through it.

You know, I'm going to have to be better about this. I'm going to have to see

through it.

No one is going to fool me into defiling.

tradition.

I'm sure he wasn't trying to trick you by acting any sort of way.

Maybe that's how they present themselves.

No, no. I've always been really good at sniffing those people out.

No, he was trying to fool me by putting on an act.

Calling Ashley they may not have been an act. Some people use they pronouns.

Maybe Ashley does too.

Oh god, pronouns. Don't even get me started. Okay, first of all, they is

Not singular.

So they can't even get the grammar correct?

No. All right, I hadn't even heard the P word five years ago, and now it's

everywhere.

I need to stop dwelling on this. All right, we can go over something more

pleasant. Let's talk about something else, right?

Like your girlfriend, honey.

How's she doing?

Anita's fine.

Rob's working as a nurse. The hospital keeps her busy.

I thought she was a nurse at a retirement home.

Yeah, she does that too.

Oh, you know what? I heard there was a nursing shortage.

People like Anita must be in high demand everywhere.

Well, is she working today?

Maybe she can stop by on her way home.

The bus route doesn't bring her this way.

So she takes the bus to work.

I thought you told us that Anita drives a car.

Yeah, she used to, but she got tired of paying for gas.

I don't care. I don't care if he drives a car, rides a bus. I just, I'm so happy

that you found someone that you like so much.

If I'm being honest, I thought maybe there was something wrong with you.

I kept offering to set you up with my friend's single daughter, then you just

weren't interested. But now I know you just hadn't found the right girl.

God, I want to meet her so badly. Why hasn't she come over?

She's busy.

Like you said, nurses are in high demand.

Well, yeah, but even nurses have a day off, right?

I mean, your birthday dinner. It's coming up soon. That would be the

time to meet her.

Honey, look, I think it's really nice that Anita cares about people and she's

nice to people, but she needs to care about her boyfriend, too, not just

strangers.

I'm putting my foot down, okay? You tell her to save that date, and I'm not

taking no for an answer.

Okay, I'll talk to Anita about it. Perfect.

Okay, great. All right, let's dig in, okay? I worked hard on this lasagna.

About time.

Thank you again so much for doing this. Of course, no problem.

You look really cute.

Aww.

So, remember your name's Anita and you're a nurse.

Did you get a chance to memorize the cheat sheet I emailed you? I spent all

night memorizing it. Our answers need to match.

Also, you're 21, so I told my parents you're 21.

Don't worry. I'm an old pro at memorizing lines.

Honestly, I'm excited to flex my old acting skills today.

I'm excited to be in the spotlight.

Maybe I'm selfish, but I'm so glad you stuck around at the library, Cindy. For

one, it's been a blast since you came along.

And two, I don't know what I would have done if you hadn't agreed to help me.

It's not every day that a guy asks me to meet their parents as their fake

girlfriend. Thank you so much for agreeing.

My mom knew I was gay. She'd kill me.

Don't worry. I got you.

But next time we're in the library, you're moving the heavier books, okay?

Fine.

So excited to meet my son's new girlfriend.

You know, Anita, we are so happy to have you here.

Anita, you look familiar.

Have we met somewhere?

No, but I get that a lot. I guess I just have one of those faces.

And what a beautiful face it is. You described her so beautifully, but she's

even more gorgeous.

Oh, that's so sweet of you. I see you get your sweet side from your mom.

She told me a lot about you guys.

Good things, I hope.

Oh, absolutely.

She thinks the world of you, too.

Oh, he told us a lot about you, too.

Funny that your hair is a different color than what he told.

Yeah, sometimes I switch up my hair color. I mean, being a nurse is very

demanding, so I'll experiment to de -stress sometimes.

I love that. Well, I'm going to get started on dinner, okay?

Hey, Chet. I know it's your birthday, but your mom's been cleaning all day.

don't you go give her a hand?

I'm sure she'd love to have the birthday boy taste test everything anyway.

But I shouldn't leave her alone.

Uh, who needs our guest?

Oh, don't worry. I'll keep our guest entertained.

It'll be a perfect time to get to know the beautiful young lady that has stolen

my boy's heart.

It's okay, babe. Go help your mom.

Well, why don't I show you around?

And I'm sure you can guess where we are now.

Alright, time to cut the crap.

What do you mean?

Come on, Anita.

I have a strong feeling that you are not who you say you are.

I figured Logan's been lying about his girlfriend.

All the stories he tells about Anita just don't add up. He makes excuses

time we're supposed to meet you.

I suspected for quite a long time that he was a little, eh, funny,

if you catch my drift.

But meeting you just confirms that.

What are you talking about?

Are you saying that Logan is gay?

Because he can't be gay if he's dating me.

You can cut the act now.

I knew I recognized you from somewhere. You're the serial girl from years ago.

A tasty mouthful with every spoon?

That commercial was burned into my brain because it ran on every channel every

five minutes.

Now, Logan told us that you were a nurse, but he never said anything about

being an actress.

I mean, he is so obviously not straight that he can't even keep his facts. I

really am Logan's girlfriend.

He just didn't mention that I used to be an actress.

And I changed careers when I figured out my true calling.

Don't bother.

You're not fooling me. Anyway, it doesn't matter.

Like, Logan could be belting show tunes from the rafters for all I care.

But his mother, if she finds out he's a fairy, it's game over.

She might even kick him out.

Please don't tell your wife. Don't let her kick Logan out.

I am not risking myself to protect Logan. That would be putting two lives

misery as opposed to just one.

He's your son.

He is a grown -ass man. And in this world, it is every man for himself.

How could you be so heartless?

Logan is only 19.

So many young people end up homeless.

It just ends badly. You are ruining Logan's life.

Don't worry.

I actually have a great deal for you.

I don't actually have to tell Nicole the truth.

She sees what she wants to see anyway.

And she's not going to suspect anything of Logan unless I say something about

it. Now, I can let you continue to be Anita throughout dinner.

And Logan's birthday continues smoothly.

But, you know, keeping such a big secret from my wife is a huge burden.

And I feel like I deserve something for my efforts.

Something like you.

Are you demanding sex right now?

I am not demanding anything.

I am offering you an opportunity.

You've already gone way out of your way to protect Logan's ass through this

whole boyfriend -girlfriend thing.

This is just one more thing you can do to make sure that Logan's secret stays

safe. How could you do this to your son?

How could you do this to your wife?

Why would you care about her?

I'm sure Logan's told you about what an amazing human being she is.

Alright, hey, maybe we're both dirtbags.

Just different areas of it.

Alright, maybe that's why we got together and ended up together.

But anyways, you don't worry about us.

You just worry about your own part.

Aw, don't make that face.

You're not actually dating Logan, so you wouldn't really be cheating on him.

Fine. But you promise nothing bad will happen to Logan?

Yeah, I promise.

Oh, my God.

be a disaster.

What?

Oh my God.

Oh,

fuck.

Thank you.

Yeah.

What was that commercial slogan?

Fuck.

Oh, right

there. Oh, yeah. Suck on a

clit.

You're not too loud.

You know what? We're going to have to ruin all that work you did.

I'll be your wife.

It's really hard to be quiet.

We can fix it.

Thank you.

really fucking your boyfriend's father.

Fuck, I'm a naughty girl, huh? Oh, fuck.

That dick is amazing.

Girlfriend?

Pussies.

Damn, I just love it.

It's like you're enjoying fucking your boyfriend's fuck.

Fucking cough. Yeah.

This is going to happen. Come on. Let's pass, did you?

Oh, that's your next direction, girl.

Thank you.

It's like when I found a new reawakening for your career.

Please. Yes.

Oh,

fuck.

Oh,

shit.

Oh, my God. Oh,

yeah. Oh, fuck.

Oh.

Oh, keep running. Yeah.

Oh, fucking love it.

Let's see what kind of performance you can give downstairs.