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So, I've pitched this piece on dating discourse.

You know, like, body count.

"She's a four, but maybe six after five pints."

Age, income bracket. All of it's numerical.

That car's been idling outside for two days.

You know that girl

who fucks 1,000 guys in 24 hours for content?

I mean, she wasn't fucking a person.

She was fucking a number.

I mean, her spirit was dominated,

well gang-raped, almost, by market logic, essentially.

Yeah, individuals reduced to abstraction.

Kierkegaard.

Yeah, but why is it you have to take something modern,

and then you make it for cunts? It's...

Someone's fucking jimmied the window.

Shit! Fuck!

My fucking keys have gone.

Why do you lease a Mercedes anyway?

Where's that money coming from? Do you owe again?

Look, do me a favor, yeah?

Could you just take Matty for the week, all right?

While I sort this shit out.

Okay, we need to formulate

some sort of custody agreement so you cannot keep doing this.

- Also, you look like shit. - All right.

It's the fucking Ritalin, it's my skin...

Well, what is the excuse for the rest of it then?

Because you keep saying, "Oh, I'm working flat out,"

and then I hear stories of you out on benders

- and sharking random women. - Well, hang on, you're in a fucking relationship!

All right?

You don't have jurisdiction over my sex life.

We literally fucked once.

You do realize that absolutely no one knows

that you exist, right?

Fuck off.

Edward, hiya.

- Sorry, what time is it? - Who cares?

Good news. We've heard from Tender's counsel.

I think they've come in way too hot.

Their response to the "Tender, investigated" piece,

it's as subtle as a Slade song in truth.

Injunction, threat, defamation.

I mean, it's a real dog's dinner.

And I did a little digging,

and it seems upper management there

are a proxy for the Norton Media Group,

so I'm happy to send you to Accra.

Look, thank you, Ed. You won't regret it.

Listen, the main thrust of all their ire

is collusion and market manipulation

between you and these short sellers.

I mean, that's a shot in the dark, right?

Uh...

Tell me you aren't inveigled

with these fucking short sellers.

Huh?

Yeah, I'm not... I've spoken to them,

- but, you know, tangentially. - Oh, "tangentially."

Like, "elliptically"? Whatever the fuck.

Just clean the slate with those contacts, okay?

Yeah. Look, man, I'm... I'm working on a follow-up.

Far more meat on the bone.

Major discovery in Sunderland, all right?

Well, I don't like being woken by bullies.

And it's in the public interest for us to respond aggressively,

especially if Tender have designs

on the UK consumer with this new banking app.

I'll get legal to word a stern and curt rebuke.

If I know anything about people who go this nuclear this early,

you can bet your loneliest penny

the cunts have a glass fucking jaw.

- Yeah. - Okay, bye.

Oi!

- Hey, what? - Why are you watching my house?

What? Brother, I'm waiting for my girl.

Get the fuck off my street, yeah?

Brother came here all tooled up

looking like some hard wanker, yeah?

Get the fuck away from my car, bro.

- Fuck! - Pussyhole faggot.

All we've done

is share non-private information.

Your article was a non-event.

It helped our short for all of 20 minutes.

Well, proving a connection might be enough.

Now, I've started working on an air-gapped computer

so it can't be hacked.

But you're calling me on my work phone?

When are you publishing the follow-up?

I can't say.

You can't or won't?

Bro, we gave you the Sunderland piece.

You write it up and disseminate it.

- That was agreed. - Uh, no, it was never agreed.

Oh, fuck off. It was fucking implied.

Come on. You're not being fair at all.

Yeah, I think you fundamentally misunderstood my ethics here.

It is important from here on out,

we deny any kind of communication.

And that's ethical, is it?

No, it's sensible. I appreciate your time.

If he doesn't publish again soon,

what's our next negative catalyst?

Market's pricing this app launch as a positive one.

- Stock climbs any higher, we'll face a margin call. - Um...

We feed the Sunderland piece to another reporter.

How long a lag time to get it understood,

- past seniors, printed? - Why don't we self-publish?

We'll just get Sweetpea to write it up,

like Hindenburg, GlassHouse, that sort of beat.

It's too clear a conflict of interest.

Okay. Well, obviously,

we would use the appropriate disclosures.

One wrong word,

we open ourselves up to a civil suit.

Plus, our name has no cachet.

Who gives a solitary fuck about "SternTao's view"?

It doesn't matter if Tender is a house of cards

if we don't have any breath to blow.

Don't you think I fucking grasp that by now?

Fuck!

I wanna see the mortgage piece

more prominent on the landing page.

And... And wipe the fucking crypto component off it.

I've given that note three fucking times.

And yes, Robin, that is a user-over-profit decision

because the UI is part of the messaging

and the messaging is everything.

Yeah, the tone matters to our backers

in government too.

And why is the phrase "Pierpoint powered by Tender"

so prominent on the UI?

Whitney cleared that. This is his brainchild.

Has been for some time.

Okay, I didn't stake myself on the build of this app

to facilitate Pierpoint giving the already upwardly mobile

a fucking clickable option

to passively compound their wealth!

Okay?

Bannerman.

You wanna give us a state of play, please?

Yes, sir.

Two hundred and fifty million assets under management.

Eric's five percent of fund, ten bucks.

Pierre, the anchor, 100 bucks.

Further 140 million

when we combine all other invested parties.

With Kenny as our primary broker,

we borrowed a further 250 million via Deutsche.

That's our margin.

Hundred percent gross leverage?

Yes, 250 million equity,

250 million margin.

We remain excited by the potential synergies

of the partnership showcasing

Al-Mi'raj-Pierpoint's wealth management offering

- within the Tender app. - You know, I've long thought

that the copy should be "Tender powered by Pierpoint,"

not "Pierpoint powered by Tender."

Our lawyers went back and forth on it

while red-lining, arguing points of construction.

We have the investment managers. We have the customer base.

That's baked in for you in exchange for a platform

and a route to more retail customers.

By any metric, to any investor's eyes,

Tender is the more valuable asset here.

The market caps are moving in opposite directions,

and we see this simply as offering

a dinosaur a digital future.

Why am I here negotiating something

I assumed had already been negotiated?

That isn't what this is.

We wanted to illustrate how amenable we've been

in the hope of asking you to, uh, solidify the partnership

with a further billion-dollar investment.

I really think we're missing a trick

by not featuring Henry more prominently.

What does that mean, and what would it even look like?

Leaning into the tech side of fintech.

A buzzy launch. Named entertainment.

Charli XCX expounding on the virtues

of a digitized spending report

to track her nocturnal trips to the ATM.

Yeah. Yeah! But a public launch,

with translation to socials, it's still achievable.

It might be smart to de-risk a little

ahead of Tender rolling out their app

because streets expect it to land and rally.

Guys, we can't just start throwing down longs.

Then we'd be like any other run-of-the-mill long/short.

What if Dycker's next article lands as flat as his last one?

Not with the Sunderland piece.

Yeah, and when is that coming?

Yeah, FYI, we are edging from gray

to fucking black on market manipulation stuff.

Oh, I've been speaking with the former CEO,

Jonah Atterbury.

I haven't spoken business with him yet.

I'm just softening him up.

- Is he replying? - Oh, yeah.

He is replying!

You know, it's an open secret that Al-Mi'raj

is divesting Pierpoint back to the market piecemeal.

Pierpoint's a fucking legacy name.

It's, uh, sun-bleached font on signage.

Gym bags on eBay. Ironic Fincore.

Tombstones for a once great thing now dead.

We are modernity knocking at your door,

offering a leg up.

And for that, all we're asking for is, uh,

is a pittance.

When does the, uh...

when does the press release go out and to who?

Tabled for 1:00 p.m. PST, Thursday.

Right, so there is time to go bigger if we want to.

Usual channels, TechCrunch,

Wired, Breaking Banks podcast.

Yeah, I think that Henry

should feature on more lifestyle podcasts.

There should be a fucking tariff on podcast equipment.

Right, well, I want a redraft of the release

and my notes enacted, and we can go from there.

Yo.

What's up?

Henry isn't happy

about how the app launch is being positioned.

'Cause your husband hasn't landed

on something he likes.

Robin says you want to "eventize" the launch?

Yeah, there should have been a laid

to eventize it from the start.

We gotta stop using the word "eventize"

like it's a serious word.

I don't think this is funny.

You know, if I had a proper job title,

a role in the comms department,

this would have been done properly.

You want to work directly under Robin?

I want to give Henry a pulpit.

If Henry wants to be prominent,

if he wants to be responsible for this,

I'm not gonna get in his way.

But I'm a little disappointed in him.

Thought I was hiring a rock star.

He was like a fucking ghost in our meeting with PRA.

Yeah, his confidence is coming back.

Slowly.

Have you ever thought about laying a path

in the company for Hayley?

What do you see in her?

I think she may have some information

that could help us with Dycker.

But she might need some sweetening.

Mm.

Bright young things attract bright young things.

Speaking of, when was the last time you spoke

to your friend, Harper, by the way?

- You guys still close? - Why?

I got a suspicion her venture's short.

Um...

She's probably being spurred on by her former boss.

They're sort of a poisonous double act.

They like to enable each other's worst instincts

just 'cause...

Well, 'cause they're fucking insecure.

I can, um...

I can think of a comms angle to deal with them.

Great.

What was it, two black cross?

Whatever's most premium.

Red, 180.

One, please. Do you only do coke?

You don't carry any liquid 'shrooms, do you?

No, mate.

Can't be front office with a pinstripe that chalky.

Unless you're at a povvo dive like Royal Bank of Scotland.

No, don't fucking touch it yet. I told you.

Please.

Please, Daddy.

If you want more treats, you'll say it.

I'm a good little whore for Papi.

Get off.

- Yeah, hi. Hello, Mary. - Hello.

Yeah, I, um...

Yeah, I... I wasn't expecting to hear from you.

I hope you're well.

Yeah, as... as well as, I guess.

Um, yeah, and... and you?

We thought we'd make arrangements

for you to see Hugo.

It was important that we got a few things in order before...

You... You... No, no, you... you...

you don't owe me an apology.

This isn't an apology.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah. No, no. Of course, of course. Um...

Let me send through the details.

You know, whenever, whenever. I'm very...

- I'll send those through, thank you. - You...

They took my kid away from me.

Maybe they've got their reasons.

You ever tried shutting the fuck up?

One more thing. Do you know the WebHorizon guys?

They asked Jonah and I to attend a bunch of times,

but I always passed 'cause I, uh,

never thought the two of us

were aligned enough about the future of the company

to share a stage and have it not be a...

stock-negative event.

Well, it... it might be a bit late in the day

for them to accommodate us, but if I say

that Henry's presenting a government darling

and then float the idea

that the Business Secretary might attend,

it may combat the negative press coming out of FinDigest.

You can make that happen?

I mean, it would flatter

the programmers, for sure.

Let me proffer it. See where I get.

Great. And have FinDigest responded to legal yet?

That piece was so undercooked,

it undermined whatever point they were trying to make.

But, uh, Louisa says they're doubling down.

Okay, I'm gonna speak to Percy.

He's the business editor at the Sunday paper.

Robin's on board?

He will be.

Fuck yeah.

I got a 3:00 p.m. to Accra, but I'll be back soon.

Twenty-four hours.

God, that's a long way for such a short trip.

Small management issue

which requires some hand-holding.

Hayley. Do me a favor.

Assist Yas with whatever she needs at the launch.

What, you don't need her in Ghana?

She's supposed to split the load with Henry,

so let her take half of his load off you.

Hey.

Jonah Atterbury?

Yeah, speaking.

Did I get you at a bad time?

Oh, just interrupting the prologue

to a story that I won't be able to finish.

You know, your voice sounds like I imagined.

- Hmm. - Normally, chicks want

some kind of payment before getting personal so fast.

Um, Jonah, I actually have

a slightly ulterior motive for my call.

I work as a research analyst.

We believe your former employer is misrepresenting

- how they make their money. - What the fuck?

- Please don't hang up. - Sorry, but, uh...

So much of this work

is just finding nuggets of encouragement, okay?

People only open up

if the incentive outweighs their incentive to stay silent.

Yeah, I'm a little loaded for riddles right now,

and trust me...

...I don't need your money. I mean...

I imagine that you have a bone to pick

with Whitney Halberstram.

You know, since he fired you.

Well, I'm in the middle of suing the prick for defamation.

- What the fuck is this? - Well, he shit on you, right?

That fey little shit.

I loved him.

In your legal complaint,

- is there anything that could help me? - Hey, baby.

- Um, well, my, uh... - Want a private dance?

...or our correspondence was subpoenaed.

My team have access to gigs of emails.

Would you share them with me? I can just ping you my email.

So, anything not pertaining to me is redacted.

I don't see how that would be useful.

The more I think about it,

the more I... I see I was blinded by history with him.

- How do you mean? - Um, small things.

I noticed he'd check the stock price

like an ECG last two years.

Down days, he'd mope around, suicide watch.

Up days, he was a prince.

Me coming to him with a question,

leaving with two more.

Rabidly social. Never seemed to fuck.

I also never saw him drunk.

Clients, investors, auditors, he'd drown them in Cristal,

leave them butt-fucked by a hangover lobotomy.

"Ooh, boy, that cad from Tender

parties like a pre-crisis Florida realtor."

Oh, well, thank you, Jonah. I, um...

I hope I brought you pleasure in unexpected ways.

Listen, if you're gonna play me like this...

do me the courtesy of burying him deep enough

that his kind don't respawn.

I will.

Why the fuck is Whitney in Africa again?

Guy sold me a fucking dummy. I don't want to be a host

for another capital markets vulture like Pierpoint.

The vision was meant to be utilitarian,

not some defibrillator for a zombie bank.

You still control how it's perceived.

Whitney's spoken to WebHorizon

about allowing you to make more of a splash.

You're gonna be on the main conference live stream.

I'll make sure it's picked up by all the trades.

Yeah.

Why are the two of you colluding

on what are clearly executive decisions?

"Colluding"? Henry, we're strategizing

about how to maximize your potential.

We both see it as integral to the success of the co...

Actually, you know what? Fuck that.

I see it as integral to your success.

Okay? To our family's.

Yeah, a press release will allow us

to frame the narrative and control the audience.

Robin's words sound completely dead in your mouth.

Look, I get it.

You've stood on stages before and been embarrassed.

- But, look, just come here. - Not in here.

- Not in here. - Who are you afraid of?

I don't have it in me to be torn apart again.

Do you believe in this company?

Do you have any idea how tiring it is to have people

constantly question your integrity

because you fucked up once?

Once!

Listeners will lean in to the belief of the teller,

so go and tell it.

You always make me chase

the most egoistic part of myself.

Do you know that?

'Cause without it, Henry, nothing would fucking happen.

Thanks again for introducing us to Moritz.

He's a real firebrand.

His "In Defense of Jus Sanguinis" piece

was a bit of a poke in the eye, even for me.

You think he actually believes this stuff?

Oh, who cares? As long as people are clicking.

Your husband said he was in a product meeting.

Our tech editor said

he now expected Henry at WebHorizon.

It's all smooth sailing.

Well, we're supposed to be waiting for Robin.

He's our head of comms,

- but I think we should just crack on. - So, what are we thinking?

Some kind of inside look at Tender?

- Henry's second act? - Robin Williamson, comms.

We'll take any winning highlights

you can offer,

but there's a strategy around the rollout.

I actually wasn't thinking about any kind of puff piece.

It's more of a, uh, tip towards a scandal.

We've been made aware of direct contact

and conspiracy between the business press

and predatory hedge fund activity.

We shouldn't let this flare up any more than necessary.

We're using legal.

Legal tennis won't show any teeth

and it won't stop another article.

I don't think Whitney agrees

with stoking this particular fire.

Actually, I do.

Hey, Robin, please don't speak for me.

We should be proactive against anyone

trafficking fake news.

FinDigest put a hit piece out on Tender

full of vague and unsubstantiated allegations,

and they're in league

with people who stand to profit off of harming us.

Fat cat fund managers, City lawlessness.

When are we not telling this story?

I think this is a unique set of circumstances.

I mean, hamstringing a government-backed success

before it starts to run, benefiting the UK consumer,

I mean, there's a public interest angle.

Burgess at FinDigest is a bit of a twat.

Sort of virtue-signaling, man-of-the-people shyster.

I think our readers will enjoy hating

on the hypocrisy of it all.

Public stoning of hypocrites

is like bloodletting.

Makes us feel better about our own hypocrisies.

- Mm-hmm. - And we have proof of this?

I do, yes.

Can coordinate.

I'll send you the photos.

Let us sidebar and decide on the shape

and how alarmist to go with the presentation.

Thank you, Yasmin.

- Good nose. - Thanks.

Yasmin, stay on the line.

Robin, you're not needed now. Thanks.

Is he off?

Yeah, he's gone.

Yeah, Robin's not aggressive enough.

He's a little bitch. Sorry.

Uh, what proof do you have for Norton?

I have photographic evidence.

I'll send it to you.

Harper Co., whatever the fuck they're calling themselves,

they don't have the capital to touch us.

I'm gonna invite her in.

She needs to see the scale of things

so she knows how much she's bound to lose

if she plays in the dirt.

Do you think she's short because of Dycker?

Morality might as well be fucking Latin to her.

Does he, um...

does he know who I am?

We've not been to our house in Biarritz since, uh...

Um, yeah...

Well, it's a hard place to be,

given how much time we used to spend there together.

Practically, we're slightly worried about the disrepair.

We need to visit soon.

Oh.

- "Hugo Smith." - Yes.

That will be the surname on his new passport

so we can take him abroad.

Not permanently, of course.

- Just on holiday. - I made a little cup of tea.

If you sign off on the name change...

- I made a tea for Mummy. - ...we can look at setting some further visitation.

Will I ever get to be alone with him?

Oh, I don't think that would be a good idea.

You don't get to set any terms, I'm afraid.

I made a...

Yeah.

Yeah.

Uh...

Hugo will grow up in a house of love.

I promise you.

I appreciate you being civil with me.

Oh, Rishi, any anger I feel towards you

is dwarfed by the scale of my faith in God.

Every choice you've made denies it, but...

even a man like you doesn't stand outside His grace.

Yeah.

Here's a good spot, d'you think?

Yeah. I think here's great.

- Hi, hi. How are you? - Hi.

Hey.

Hi.

The FinDigest journalist is in the audience.

Let him watch.

Oh, unless...

if he's making you uncomfortable then we can tell him to leave.

No, no, it's not him. I just... I don't... I don't know.

I don't know, I just don't really feel like I can...

ground myself, you know?

Do you suffer from anxiety?

I do sometimes.

Try magnesium.

Just after what happened between us...

...uh, and... and your husband... and...

whether it was right, like...

professionally, even personally.

Well, we're all consenting adults.

Right.

And...

...you enjoyed it.

So, it can't be that that's making you uneasy?

Calabasas?

I mean, you're the one that instigated it, right?

The way you've looked at me since we met.

Maybe you're sublimating experiences,

making a good thing bad.

That loser hack,

he came into your house under false pretenses.

You don't remember what happened.

I mean, God knows what happened.

The price of his action is your trauma.

You can't let him take away your agency as well.

Yeah.

Yeah, you're probably right.

I am. I am right.

It was assault. Oh!

- Yeah? - Yo.

Just wanted to wish you good luck.

Get the fuck in here for a second.

What is this fucking disappearing act

you keep pulling in Africa?

I was just smoothing the adoption of our app.

Yeah, I'm not comfortable with the Pierpoint relationship.

Okay? This app shouldn't be some Trojan horse

for capital markets apparatus.

We're not a fucking broker!

Well, you couldn't be more wrong.

Why should investment planning

only be the purview of the elite?

Give the man his broker.

Yeah, but my role here...

...isn't gonna be ambassadorial, okay?

I want it to be financial and strategic.

I don't wanna have to keep checking my corners.

I agree. Total transparency.

Which is also what the app is offering.

Like we promised. ISAs, ETFs.

You're giving people the dignity

of being able to choose for themselves.

Pierpoint totally fucked the valuation of Lumi.

Come on, man.

Is it even really Pierpoint anymore?

Hey.

Go out there.

Tell them about your conscience.

It's just a speech.

It's just a day. It's just a speech.

It's just deliverance.

Don't bullshit me.

Henry, I hired you

'cause I look at people like you

and I innately believe in them more than I believe in myself.

Fuck knows what that says about the fascism of our neurology,

but everything in me screams you are more, I am less.

You're a man I'm incapable of lying to.

You'll be great, okay?

You got this.

How you became the Labour prime minister's

appointed pet, I will never understand.

- Pussycat with nine lives. - Thank you for...

uh, the humility... ...in introducing me.

I... I really do, um, appreciate your belief.

You have your wife's frankly

inappropriate relationship with a certain

precocious junior minister in my department

to thank for this.

Do you know how ugly

political sketch artists make me look?

- And they're right to mock my hypocrisy. - Ms. Dearn?

Toeing the party line, that's it. Good luck.

Thank you.

- First, let me restate... - I... I really don't think I can do this.

No.

Do you think I could have a...

...a Lorazepam or something?

I don't know if that constitutes a relapse.

Tender is at the vanguard of a sector

we have championed since coming into government...

Listen, if you need to, of course, of course you can.

Why would you say that to me? You know that's not an option.

You're meant to talk me down off the fucking cliff.

Are you testing me? Henry, are you using again?

Its aims align with our core values.

Equity and transparency for the British consumer...

How dare you say that to me now?

No, I don't...

Why can't you accept that I want what's best for you?

- I'm pleased to introduce to you this afternoon... - Oh, fuck.

...Tender's CEO, Henry Muck.

You're gonna be amazing.

Uh...

"So much of... of money,

its, uh, its structures and, um, and trading

are deliberately blackboxed.

For every winner, there must be a loser.

Fine for a market.

Not fine for a society.

Let, uh... Let Tender 2.0

be the opening salvo against this hard reality.

Now, uh, I'm not a neoliberal cultist,

hopped up on the... the lie

that the market is the solution to everything.

Uh, interests can be co-opted, of course.

We are... We're not an NGO.

We're looking for value for our shareholders.

But, um...

But I would like it known...

that we have put our... our conscience

at the heart of all we do here at Tender."

Uh, allow me to be, um...

be sincere with you all for a moment, um...

and tell you about my conscience.

I have failed prodigiously.

I have succeeded...

unfairly.

It's a matter of public record.

If you are sick of listening to me,

I understand, believe me.

But this is how I see the world,

even with the... the blinkers of... of my privilege,

and perhaps especially because of them.

And if you think I am incapable of seeing the world that way,

then you are saying I am inhuman...

that I am incapable of empathy.

No.

I am only human.

He's laying it on a bit thick. Will anyone buy this?

If he buys it, then they will.

We have to believe that we can change

the intransigent structures and expectations

of where we happen to be born and to whom.

This is the bedrock of our app's philosophy.

Frictionless,

transparent access to the full suite

of banking and investment products,

demystifying the complex world of finance

for all members of the Great British public.

Now, observe the cumulative effect

of what happens when you give people that power

and stop patronizing them with handouts,

admonishing their vices and sneering at their virtues.

Today...

I offer you my sincerity.

And sincerity is now the world's rarest commodity.

Not here.

Not at Tender.

Not under my watch.

Thank you.

Let me walk you through our first offering.

So...

My sincere thanks to all of you for coming today,

and if you have any further questions,

we'll meet in the press room afterwards.

Thank you.

See what happens when you listen to me?

Dude!

Good?

- Good job. - Good?

Does Tender have plans around AI integration?

Uh, yeah, we have hopes that on a two-year roadmap,

we'll see AI-powered financial advice,

predictive analytics, and spending controls.

Can you tell me, um,

rather than what Tender hopes to do,

uh, what Tender actually does?

Hey, I'm sorry, can you repeat the question?

Yeah. Uh, Tender.

Sorry, wh... wh... what does it do?

What do you mean, what do we do?

Well, it's a pretty straightforward question.

But Mr. Halberstram,

given how quickly you severed all ties with me

- after I profiled you... - The FinDigest writer

who's trying to fuck us.

Well, I take it you loathe simple questions.

You're our friend from FinDigest, right?

It's a great piece, by the way. Really well-researched.

What is it that we do?

We are a successful payment processor

leveraging our existing user base

to, uh, make targeted acquisitions

and become a market leader in the UK fintech space.

Right, it's just a growing number of people

think your numbers don't stack up.

Well, you're trying to prove a prejudice,

so everything you look at is prejudicial.

These people you're speaking about,

do they brief you or do you brief them?

Or does it matter so long as you're making money

while you twist the knife?

Right, you're not denying anything though?

We are regularly audited by Ellis & Jung.

We have equity analysts poring over our balance sheet.

What is there to spotlight

other than the brutal success of our story?

And your processing facilities in Sunderland?

We've got outposts

that process payments all over Africa,

Europe, Asia-Pac, and the UK,

including, but not exclusive to, the North East.

It's just, you see, I think your fixation

on the future is, uh,

it's a smokescreen for the lies of your past.

Okay. Well, we'll happily sidebar.

We have investor days. We have earnings calls.

- We're wide fucking open. - Next question.

Yes, Hannah Murphy at the FT.

How do you intend to cater

to an older, potentially AI-naive demographic?

Uh, well, thank you, Hannah,

for the, um, sensible question this time.

Um, no, I... I think you're right.

AI is the great unknown of our time...

- Blue? Right. - It was blue. Yeah, uh...

Really? I blame Peter Risdale for everything...

- James. Can we talk? - Yeah, mate.

No, I'm just putting the final touches

- on the article. - Now.

All right.

Oh, my dad used to look at me like that.

What is it?

This may run tomorrow.

My name, your name, short sellers.

You know, corrupt,

money-grabbing enemies of British innovation.

They've even managed to link this Eric Tao bloke

to the fucking cultural revolution.

And there's heavy allusions to you being a drug user,

which you're not, are you?

Yeah, you know what? No, no.

You know, displays of brute force in a velvet glove?

It's disgusting, and I'd love to brain Norton

and scatter the pieces all over his chessboard.

But I can't.

- What's this say? - Well, you...

Yeah, of course I've spoken to short sellers.

It says "cavorting with short sellers,"

- does it not? - Well, being "in league" with them

is a fabulist construction.

They're... They're fucking meaningless words, man.

They're words. That... That is what Halberstram does.

Where... Where... Where's the proof of profiting?

You know what? Let's... Let's...

Let's start here, all right?

When I'm targeted this cheaply,

I expect the support of my editor.

Oh.

Look, why are we prostrating ourselves

to anonymous pictures? It's... It's blackmail.

I'm not perfect.

I spent a lot of my early years lying.

Then I stopped, and my world got better.

Who is Hayley Clay?

She...

She works at Tender.

Okay, well, you coerced,

and according to the complaint,

- assaulted her. - No, no.

- I never fucking touched her. - They're pressing charges.

They're weighing charges. That's what it says.

Ed, Ed, Ed, I didn't touch her.

Well, even if I wanted to believe you,

what the fuck were you doing in her fucking house?

What am I supposed to say?

- And I can't, in good conscience... - I was... I was...

I was doing my job.

- I was looking for... - James.

- I was just trying to get a story. I didn't... - James. James!

I can't, in good conscience,

not make this an internal disciplinary matter

and recommend your termination.

Come on. Ed.

- No, no, no, no, no. You... - What do I do?

- I'm sorry. - Mate.

- You don't have to do that. - You're intrepid.

You're fucking smart.

And in your gut, I know you know that when you went to her flat,

you were making a fatal fucking error of judgment.

Mate, I need...

I need this.

I can't... I can't do anything now.

I'm burning my retinas out

trying to parse these Atterbury emails.

- Anything material? - Not really.

I mean, Whitney never really talks about business,

at least in writing.

I mean, maybe that's the unredacted correspondence.

One thing that is interesting though,

is his most active interlocutor is a guy called Tony Day.

I mean, they speak pejoratively about Jonah,

mostly from Tony's side.

It reads like sycophancy to Whitney.

It's like playground bullying.

Who is Tony Day?

Oh, based in Accra. I looked up his CV online.

A Durham alum. Decade-vet Morgan Stanley ops.

Drops to Daiwa Securities. Maybe redundancy or firing?

Lands in Accra in 2011

when Ghana's GDP growth is batshit, like low teens.

Has a failed telecom biz.

Has a failed high-speed rail thingy.

And then, all of a sudden,

he's the CFO of Tender in Africa.

Meteoric over promotion even for a White guy.

And look at this.

When have you ever seen

a 50-million-dollar acquisition closed with a novelty check?

That's what they paid for this third-party processor,

SwiftGC.

It's artificial, right? Like, gut read?

- Presentation as pretense. - Hmm.

He looks like the hated chairman of a lower league football team.

Not a...

Not the CFO of a multinational payment processor.

It's a big song and dance. It's cheap.

I wonder if anyone's flown to Accra

and knocked on their door.

I'll call you back.

- You wanted to see us? - Yeah, I did.

I want to propose a reshuffle.

Yas is gonna be co-running communications

for us going forward.

- On what grounds? - Forward-looking ones.

Whitney, you know I won't stand to share the post,

especially with someone so ill-qualified.

I think qualifications are secondary to instincts.

I also anticipated that you'd have too much pride

to share the post, in which case...

Yas, if you'd like to do the honors.

Do what?

Your first task as, uh, my new Head of Communications.

I don't follow.

Let him go. Fire him. Dismiss him.

She doesn't have the power to do that.

Well, she does if she accepts the post.

- Do you accept it? - I do.

- She accepted it, so... - We can work together.

- Uh, I don't think we can. - Right.

So, I guess you're dismissed then.

- You're kidding me, right? - You're a little bit, uh,

trad for what we want to do next.

This isn't a startup.

You should Google the Dunning-Kruger effect.

Good luck.

Thank you.

You did a great job on Dycker.

You stopped the story from running, deserve this.

Well, those photos seemed to tell the whole story.

Yeah.

Hayley's yours if you want her, but you, me, Henry...

we ride together, we die together.

Whitney gave me the green light to promote you.

Comms role, under me.

- You okay? About earlier? - Oh, yeah. Sure.

It's not like I haven't been sexually harassed before.

I was a child model for fuck's sake.

You're promoting me because you really rate me, right?

- Yeah, of course. - Phew!

Thought it was because of how good

I sucked your husband's cock.

I wonder, why did it feel like it was your cock in my mouth?

I liked that.

An ex-boss told me, uh, an anxiety relief thing once.

- Breathing exercises? - No.

No, he said, "Hayley, baby, when it all gets too much,

just remember, not a single one of us

gets out of this alive."

Doors opening.

Thank you, Mommy.

So, I just got off the phone

with Wilhelmina, CEO of Al-Mi'raj-Pierpoint.

They offered the financing we asked for

in the form of a CoCo.

A contingent convertible bond.

So, they're protecting their downside.

Have they seen something they don't like?

It depends how you look at it.

It's a good bridge while we grow our deposit base,

repayment only gets triggered

if stock falls beneath a certain threshold,

which we know it won't, not with the momentum we have.

Yeah, well, given how distressed an asset Pierpoint is

and how readily Al-Mi'raj wants rid,

it might be smart to deploy some cash,

silently buy some equity in it.

Gives us leverage in the partnership longer term.

Means we can finesse them a little.

I think that's very smart.

You could see the hard-on in Dycker's knickers

when he thought he was calling us out

in front of an audience.

Can I just say, I followed your speech online

and it was just what was needed. A man possessed. Brilliant.

Thank you for, um,

everything you said to me before I went out.

Your belief meant a lot.

Permission to speak out of school?

Please.

Some people see people as just, um,

moving parts in a social process.

Objects that can either help or hinder.

There's few things more toxic in this world

than privileged people who are intellectually insecure.

You see, that's quite loaded.

If you want to insult my wife,

have the good grace to come out and say it.

I see people differently.

You have an innate worth

that supersedes the life you were born into.

I believe that about myself too.

It's what I live to achieve and I yearn to do.

Show the world my true value.

Well, we helped each other do that.

At least for a day.

No, no, I'm going for a piss!

Fuck.

Nah, these shitters are horrific for doing gear.

Oh, shit.

- You all right, mate? - All right.

I know who you are, by the way.

You know.

Sorry, I just... had to say something.

I'm sorry about what happened to your wife.

You know, for what it's worth, I think they demonized you.

I deserved it.

I remember the skew of coverage.

And it would have been very different

if you weren't you and, you know, she wasn't...

you know, no offense, but... posh and White.

They said the guy who, um, who went down for it

was, um, schizophrenic, right? Or... Or BPD, or something,

some diminished responsibility thing.

Yeah, her family are fighting the manslaughter charge.

He got hospital disposal.

Brain went west

after years of smoking weapons-grade skunk.

So his lawyer argued.

Fuck's sake.

- Mate, you saw it? - Do you want a cigarette?

- Eh? - Cigarette?

Oi!

Fuck off, you urchin! Go on! Fuck off!

I've seen him operate outside here.

He looks for wasted people.

Them fags are laced

with some fucking spooky PCP or some shit.

It'll fuck you up, then he'll take you round the corner,

and he'll turn you over for your wallet and your watch.

Right. Ch... Cheers, mate.

- Cheers. - No worries.

London's full of shit-heels on the take.

- Yeah. - Do you want a pint?

Yeah, mate, let's go.

- Do you want a pint? - Oh, I could go an half.

Stella.

That one's on me, lads.

Mate, I'm flying to Accra next week.

I can still self-publish.

Someone will fucking pick it up. Trust me.

I... I have to admit something though.

- I have to admit something. - Hey, hey. Hey, what... what...

I know you too. I know you too.

I... I did... I did a little work for Harper Stern...

- Huh? - ...before that silly cunt ghosted me.

Oh, right. You've been following me.

Well, I... I looked into you a little, yeah.

Ah, you broke into my house.

I was just wondering whether to short Tender PA.

I thought there might be a little edge.

You think I'm the type to tell you

when to fucking pile in before publishing?

We are all just trying to secure our future, aren't we?

Did you follow me tonight? Be honest.

I... I just... I just wanted a pint.

And that pub is full of them.

- Pints? - Nah. Women.

I've got the disease, mate. I love birds.

Then what the fuck you doing there, man?

- What? - It's a fucking gay bar.

I met this one bird, yeah? Hayley. Hayley.

Fucking corporate smoke show. She fucking threw it on me, man.

Fucking asked me to go down on her, yeah?

So I do. I fucking look up...

she's fucking passed out.

Hope you stopped, mate!

Fuck off.

I'm fucking sick of it.

I'm sick of the fucking forced discourse

between the sexes, right?

Not everything has to be a fucking minefield these days.

I mean, she gave me her fucking consent, man.

Can I ask you a really, uh... really prurient question?

Yeah.

What was it like...

...you know, just, uh, seeing your wife die like that?

- What? - Fucking sorry, mate.

Fucking... No... Oh! Whoa! Stupid fucking question.

Forget it.

You dissociated, right?

- Right? - Yeah. Yeah.

Mate, I saw this fucking girl, right,

getting fucking DP'd on my feed the other day.

You know, these blokes just fucking...

Just fucking sharing her, mate. You know, jacked guys.

Must have been, like, fucking 18 max.

Yeah, just black Air Force Ones,

and all tech fleeces, fucking balaclavas.

You know, the "mandem" just fucking...

Just fucking coming all over her face.

Fucking cum, tears, real fucking horror show,

- you know, mate? - It's...

It's... It's like I'm... It's like I'm...

I'm... I'm watching it, you know, but...

it really isn't me.

- It isn't, uh... - Hey, mate.

Can you fucking turn the music down, man?

...the worst kind of person,

because he might be sick and selfish,

but you feed off his sickness.

I bet you have no idea what it's like to feel love!

We used to be creatures of action.

And now... well, now

we're just inter-passive spectators, you know?

I never... I never once dreamed of her.

You know, good or... or... or bad.

...because we've become means of production.

Right? We just...

We just age without getting old, right?

Stuck on a wheel of production and consumption.

I mean, it's bread and circuses, man.

Streamed in glorious 4K.

Maybe I should... I should just kill myself.

Eh? No, man. Suicide, mate?

Don't make me laugh.

You are too selfish to conceptualize a world

without yourself in it,

having every base need catered for.

Our granddads, yeah?

They used to fucking paint Marilyn Monroe

on the side of a fucking plane,

and then they'd use that plane to firebomb Dresden.

They'd be lucky enough to meet one Marilyn-class type lady

in the flesh in their lives.

But us, man, we fucking jerk off to a dozen gang-banging,

squirting Marilyns before dawn, and we wonder why

we don't have the get-up-and-go to go die in a war.

We're on a ghost ship.

A fucking system that can incorporate

any critique, just turn it into a marketable commodity.

Didn't think about it, mate.

Nothing has depth. Nothing has traction. Nothing...

Nothing's fucking serious, right?

We're just steam on a mirror.

You're gonna die a fucking spectator, yeah?

A priest at the altar of your own fucking ego.

Oi! Fucking hell, mate.

Turn the fucking music down, will you?

You know what? Go fuck yourself,

you little fucking slug!

You... You... You are like the freak at the afters

who doesn't know when to shut his fucking hole!

Why are you laughing?

You don't know what it's like to be a father!

No, I fucking do, actually, mate.

You know what?

It fucking doesn't change a thing.

You're in his life. You're out of his life.

- He's fucking damned either way. - That's such bullshit!

You know what I dream about, yeah?

I dream about the fact

that all my friends are richer than me.

And when I don't dream about that,

I dream about a faceless fitness influencer

making a pornographic payday out of her own fucking privacy.

Fucking, mate! I am not going to ask you again.

Turn the fucking music down, yeah?

And it's on us, man.

We've built an interface with the world

which gives us what we want, but not what we want to want.

Sorry, lads, I'll, um... I will...

I've got... I'll go and get some more beers.

Fuck yeah.

Good idea.

I like that idea.

We're out.

I'mma use the gentleman.

I need a slash.

Oh. Hello!

Mate.

Mate!

Mate? Mate, come on! Mate?

Come on. Come on. Wake up, wake up, wake up.

Hey, mate!

Come on, come on, come on, come on.

Shit!

Evening, sir. There's been a complaint about the noise.

Sir? Sir, open the door!

Can you please just open the door, sir?

Sir!

Sir, open this door.

I'm afraid we're gonna have to breach the door, sir.

Check down there.

- Clear. - Clear.

Control priority.

Can I get an ambulance to hurry up?

We've got an adult male, unconscious. Not breathing.

Possible drugs overdose.

There's a man on the balcony.

Sir!

Show me your hands!

Put your hands behind your back now!

Okay, okay, okay. Okay, okay.

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