Original subtitles

Downloaded from YTS.MX

Avhoo

Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX

mhoo

feah

mhoo

mhoo

feah

all right, here we go

jneah yeah

feah

money on my mind so I'm too paid jp

heal all the time never kool-aid I

sippin' on duse, sike

some a long way from g'burg

puttin' in work like ferg

mew York to la Hawaii and Japan

£m the motherfu... man least I'm feelin' like I am

jot the whole wide world in the palm of my hand j

but don't give a goddamn I'm Sam I am

m hat that even mean? I don't know what you talkin' 'bout

why nowadays everybody got a palm out?

Plp, yeah, that be me and that be what I rhyme 'bout

phave arrived all you rappers. Are in timeout

jattpack, where you at? Everywhere worldwide j

plknow you been waitin' for this world to collide I

b-0-double b-y it take la and folarin

Oh, you bitch is not allowed?

Pput it on everything I really wanna cop-out

but I did good for a dropout

plop out the coupe chicken heads go crazy

botta sound swag when the flow get lazy.

What up? What's good? Where you at? What you been on?

Janybody step into me I promise they get... on

better hop up on the train 'fore you miss your chance...

§op up on the train "fore youn' miss your chance to get on j

mixtape Bobby? That's the type of... I spit on

jind it's on now everybody know that it's on now

one-oh-seven point nine. Atlanta's home for hip hop.

Nighttracks is sponsored by fye.

Get that futuristic high with fye.

Coming soon. And coming up, we're dropping...

Okay, we got a biggie burger, wings, two waters. Y'all want sauce?

Boy, you know we want that sauce.

Yeah. We wanna get itnreal wet.

Okay. Uh, ten forty-eight. Drive on up.

Some on in, come on in come on in p

jou gotta survive I said you gotta survive

damn! Yo, what you two li'l fine rich girls doin' eatin' here?

Whole foods outta Kale, or somethin'?

We in the mood to get reckless tonight.

You wanna turn up with us?

Hell, yeah.

Let's go smoke out back. Threeways.

Yo, where you get your weed from?

Yo, it's been dry as hell around here.

Everybody's down bad.

You have no idea what we had to do to get this pack.

Come 'ere.

Whoa. Oh.

- Whoo! - Whoo!

Fire it up, baby, yeah!

So, look.

- I'm working on this company... - Okay. Mm-hm.

Called two smacked.

It's like, a app,

like, that delivers snacks to weedheads.

- Mm-hm. - You know what I'm sayin'?

And it's called two smacked, 'cause like...

'Cause, like, you smacking while you smacked.

- 0h, my god. - You get it?

Two smacked.

Whoa.

Whoa. You all got me so high.

You ain't really high until you hit this.

Mm-hm.

That looks like apurgemask.

Come on, baby.

Maybe a little bit.

Are you ready?

All right.

- Here's what's up. - What the...

We're gonna go inside, and you're gonna give us all the cash in the register.

Or we're gonna deep-fry your meat.

Cool?

Damn, man.

Why y'all gotta go all clermont twins on me like that?

Our xan dealer don't take daddy credit card no more.

Get me outta here, man! Please, man.

Boy, what in the sweet hell do you got goin' on?

I got robbed.

- By who? - Savages.

They was big and there was a lot of 'em

and I fought 'em off for as long as I could.

Boy, you know the first rule of working the night shift is,

you can't leave the store unattended, bro.

These people out here are animals

and they will kill your mama for a damn egg sandwich.

Now I gotta go back here and see if we got the damn thugs

on the videotape. “Video?

Whoo!

Roger, man, let me impute you on a little wisdom, man.

If you wanna be in charge, you got to follow the rules, bro.

You gotta be a sheep, but not a outside sheep.

You wanna be a inside sheep 'cause outside sheeps get ate.

A sheep! Remember that at your next job.

Next job?

Yeah, 'cause I'm gonna have to let you go, man. You fired.

And I need that shirt back.

Oh, no, no, you can't... Yo, you can't take this shirt.

Yo, I got a meeting at the bank and I need this shirt. I left my shirt at home.

The shirt is property of zesto. Need that shirt back, man.

Uh, fine, man. I'm gonna do my own thing anyway. Keep the shirt.

Man, what the hell is this?

- 0h, I left that in the pocket... - I guess you had a helluva night.

No, no, no. That's mine, dawg.

It was in the shirt, so I guess it belong to zesto's now.

That shirt is horrible.

Undershirt dirt.

- How you get ketchup on your nipple? - Yes, but...

Bye!

Anybody else wanna get fired?

Not me.

Jsm-a do my thing. Coast to coast coast to coast d

good afternoon. I'm Calvin. You Hayes?

My man.

Yeah, I'm Hayes.

Can I get you anything to make your ride more comfortable?

Ac? Bottle of water?

Forty bag of some loud?

Did you just offer me drugs?

I'm gonna have to take two stars off your rating.

Wait. For real?

Nah. I'm just playin'.

A-t-l is dry as dust.

Yeah, it is.

Why do you think I'm in this sketch park right now?

Let's go to my office.

Me went back like flip phone motorolas

we are open for business.

This is that sky high, Mr. Hayes.

You hit this, you gonna be staring at the sky for three hours, like this.

On the contrary, that is bunk.

You just gonna disrespect me like that?

I've seen pocket lint that's better.

Well, go on and smoke your pocket lint, then.

Go on and smoke your pocket lint with your rude ass.

'Cause you ain't hurtin' my hustle.

Just my feelings.

Get out my car, Mr. Hayes.

Really?

No, I'm just playin'.

You could've bought some weed, though.

Late every time.

Hello, sir. May I borrow your shirt?

I'll give it right back, dawg!

Roger? Hey, it's... It's Alicia from high school.

Yo! Shit, yeah.

Wow, yo, you look amazing, like, Angela rye amazing, like...

- Like jemele hill amazing, like... - Okay.

You look good.

- Yeah. - I was going for Taylor rooks,

but I'll give you points for trying.

She's good... good-looking.

Uh, so, how have you been? What're you doing here?

Trying to get a loan for my... For my business.

In that shirt?

That raggedy-ass shirt?

You look like you did a little army crawling to get here.

- It's... - You got...

It's a long story.

Yeah?

Wish I had time to hear it.

This is my boss. I gotta go.

It was good seeing you.

- I mean, I'll see you later. - Okay.

A'ight, hot shot business lady.

Hot shot business...

Yo.

Where are you, cuz?

We got our meetingat the bank.

Oh, baby, that feels so good.

Are you smashing right now?

No, boy, I'm making mashed potatoes.

Yo, whatever, man. Just hurry up, dawg!

Bitch, I told you to get off the phone.

Your stroke ain't even that good.

So your company name is two smacked?

Yup. It's an app where you deliver snacks to stoners.

Do you have any collateral?

Something, you know, of value that could guarantee the loan?

Oh. Yeah.

These are...

These are good as cash.

I got a waffle house. Man, this has, like, six-fifty.

I got a hop, I got a jiffy lube.

I have like four or five on it.

That's good, right?

Yeah.

Man, I can't never count on you for nothing. Never, ever.

Listen, stop pressin' me, okay? I told you I was cookin'.

Oh.

Green eggs and ham.

Man, shut up, man.

Yo, we missed out on the bank loan 'cause of your dick.

You really need to tighten up.

Yes, and just because we cuz, that don't mean I got to help you.

You're staying in my mama basement for free. What you mean?

You stay in your mama basement!

It's my mama!

It's my auntie!

Yeah!

Fool!

Well, well, well.

The two brokest, mustiest boys I know.

The two here stinkin', messin' up the community.

What's up, Cal, you here for the re-up?

Hell, no. I can't even give your dirt-ass weed away.

Whoa!

Count your blessings. This the only weed in town.

Shit, I had to mix that shit with oregano.

Basil and cilantro.

Talkin' 'bout my weed? What's wrong with him?

You got me looking stupid.

Hey! Big bang can't make nobody look like nobody.

Big bang only make big bang look like big bang!

You got you lookin' stupid. You know who I am?

You know who grass you on? You know who almost-property this is?

If it weren't for the city owning it, you know who would own this?

- Big bang. - Big bang.

You know why they call me big bang?

You know why? Do you remember why they call me big bang?

"Cause you the spark that started it all.

- 5ay it like it's the pledge of allegiance. - Louder, man.

'Cause you the spark that...

Pcause you the sparkthat start it all...

Hey, hey, I ain't got no record deals over here.

- Come on, man. - You tryin' to get signed?

Only thing I sign is death certificates.

You hear what I'm sayin'?

Man, everybody know I started all this, invented this.

- That's right. - This trap house here was a regular house.

And then I had 'em build it into a trap house.

It was nice. And I say, "why it look so nice out here?

Tear it up. Break it down."

This trap house

is 2A monument.

Monument.

Commemorating washed-up drug dealers.

- Let 'em take it. - Washed up?

Heard your bitch-ass got fired.

Whoo!

- How you know that? - I know everything.

I knew it before you got fired.

You wanna come work for me, I got a grill right here.

I got a grill for him to come work on.

I'ma fire you, too.

I'm gonna let you work half a day, then you outta here.

All these rappers out here, talk like they been trapping. They ain't been trapping.

Two chainz. There wasn't no two chainz. He had no chains on.

I gave him one chain one day, next day I see him again, there go another one.

- He's like, "I'm two chainz now." - That's right.

I smoked out... what that dude name... Mark Zuckerberg.

Smoked him out. He was like, "can't even feel my face." So what'd he do?

Make Facebook after that.

I introduced Jay-Z to Beyonce.

I introduced Whitney to Bobby.

- 0h. - Damn.

It was... but it was...

It was the time when they needed each other, and then things went...

Man, we don't got time for this, man. Come on, man.

What you got time for?

- Come on, bro. - You wanna work?

- Get out of here. - Hey, uh, Roger.

- What? - Remember Alby?

What you talkin' about?

I'll be at your mama house later!

All right, look, right. Check this out.

Nope. Nah. Mm-mm.

Look at her, cuz. She built like big bird.

Are you body shaming, bro?

How you gon' be broke and picky?

Look, let me show you somethin'.

Mm-hm.

Show you how playa I am. ['Ma dm her, right?

So, she read it, but...

Uh, how she gon' leave me on "read," man?

She ain't even that cute, anyway.

She needs to stop skippin' leg day, gon' look ugly.

Hey.

Roger! What was that?

Nothin', ma.

Do I have to get out of my chair?

No, mama, stay in your chair!

All right, then, I'll stay in my chair.

What is that?

Hey, look at this!

Get back, fool.

Grab it. All right, lessee.

What that?

Some kind of weed Bible.

Look like instructions for growing some kinda super weed or somethin'.

Yeah, that's good, but we need to smoke the blunt that's on front of it, here.

Mm-hm.

We don't know what that do.

Who cares? Roger, don't nobody care.

It's better than the twigs we been smokin'.

That's true.

Here we go. 'Preciate.

Huh?

Yo, what is happening?

Oh! One, two, three, four.

Shit. I'm glad that's over with.

What the...

- The hell just happened, man? - Man, I'm freaking out, man.

We must be back on the West Side.

Whoa. Somebody's coming, man!

Oh, shit. Roger, I forgot to tell you this.

I had a dream last week and this is how we both die! Oh!

Who the hell are you?

Yeah. Identify yourselves right now.

Wait a minute. Are we supposed to have helmets 'cause y'all got helmets?

Oh, shoot.

No. We just hotboxing.

They look fly, don't they?

Not.

Where are we?

You just smoked yourself a one-way ticket to a playa's party.

Playa's party.

Who are you?

That's right.

- It only matters what I know. - Tell him!

That is the gas.

The loud pack!

- That loud pack, pack, pack, pack... - Pack, pack, pack...

Oh, my god.

Y'all ain't never seen nothin' like that

in them li'l projects y'all hang in.

- Never. - This is so beautiful.

I just need a minute, y'all. I'll be back.

Is this heaven?

Does this look like heaven to you, fool?

And y'all wouldn't make it in anyway.

Why are we here?

- Y'all found the weed Bible, right? - Right?

Yeah, but, what do we do with it?

0h, my goodness.

Learn how to grow some weed!

Duh!

This book contains human history,

and obviously, you both been chose.

Both of you.

I knew I was special. I knew it.

Too soon. Way too soon.

Let me learn you li'l fellas somethin'.

- Learn 'em somethin'. - Marijuana's been around since bc.

- You know what that is? - Before crack! Sure has.

It's before Christ, man! Before Christ.

I got the “before” part right, yo.

Now that shit that y'all call "loud,"

we had another name for it. It was called "sensimilla."

Sensimilla. Give 'em somethin' else.

Acapulco gold.

- Give 'em somethin' else. - Kush.

Give 'em another one.

- Da purple. - Mm-hm!

And this right here, my friend, is the ultimate bud.

It's gorgeous.

- Oh. - What the...

It smells like angel farts.

Farts of an angel.

What's it called?

It's called...

I wonder how you spell that.

You smoke it, you don't spell it.

Dummy.

Now, this weed right here will give you supernatural ability

to fight off evil, dangerous things.

Oh, yeah.

Make sure you protect this Bible with your life.

Your life. You heard him.

- Come on. - Come o'er here. Hit 'em one time.

The name is baby powder.

Have a nice flight home.

Bah-bye!

Hell! What... what year is it?

- Who am I? - Bro.

I feel like the universe just twerked on my face.

That weed is evil.

Let's hit it again.

I feel ya, bro. But wait.

That's how we can get our money, cuz, with the weed.

I'm in.

Think about it. We try and get loans,

ain't nobody gonna give dudes like us a shot.

I'm in.

- Ain"t no weed in town right now. - I'min.

And if we grow this, we can sell it

and make enough money to start our business.

Bitch, didn't I tell you, I'm in!

And you're not listening. ['Min! Lamin, in.

Damn, cuz, I've been selling weed.

I'm just bad at it.

Look, I'm tired of being broke. And I'm tired of stayin' in your mama basement.

What's wrong with my basement?

Ma... ma, stop listening!

- Then stop badmouthing my basement! - Damn.

I'm sorry, auntie!

Girl, you know I love your basement! [ Love everything you do for me.

All right, then, Calvin.

Let's grow.

Mpance with my dogs in the nighttime wroof I

jirap with the chickens like popeye's popeye's

money changin' colors like tie-dye tie-dye jd

2m just tryna get it I ain't tryna die no j

she got a big ol" onion Booty make the world crycry j

jn the kitchen wrist twistin' like a stir fry. Whip it

plold them bands down hey d>

plold your mans down hey »

mvho told you come around? Who? D

jphis that trap sound trap d

designer clothes clothes d

jfashion shows shows d

jirap, house house d

made of gold gold d

jlontrol the bag now control it d

mo need to brag now no need d>

jy, put the mask down mask d

me livin' fast now fast d

finest finest.

Wrist froze

me can go we can d

jloast to coast coast d

matchin' me whip up still be real and famous

dance with my dogs in the nighttime j

jeah woo, woo, woo, wroof

jn the kitchen wrist twistin' like a stir fry. Whip it

Jeep watchin' me whip up still be real and famous d

dance with my dogs in the nighttime j

jn the kitchen wrist twistin' like a stir fry. Whip it

Hell no, man!

All that work for nothin'.

Waste o' damn time, cuz.

Man. What?

Oh, hell now.

Oh, what's that?

What goin' on, cuz?

We gonna be rich.

We'd like another chance to win your business, okay?

Now we done upgraded our product line.

Roger, show him what we got.

Damn, man.

- Exactly. - That's what I'm talkin' about.

This ain't just any weed. We like to think of ourselves as the apple of weed.

- Mm-hm. - We're about to be in everybody's pocket.

See this right here?

- It's all occasions. - Mm-hm.

- When you're tryna turn up. - Turn up.

- Turn down. - Turn down.

Turn your life around.

- Where you're tryna pull up. - Pull up.

- Pull out! - Pull out.

Or maybe pull over!

- Yeah! - Stop!

Oh, damn.

Oh, I think your "damn" a little too early.

Okay, okay, we gotta do this.

We gotta record this. Gotta get this on world star.

Landscape, fool. You gotta catch everything.

Hey, man, y'all better watch where y'all goin'.

We were at a stop sign.

Yeah, uh, it was my homeboy fault.

What? Lemme tell ya somethin'.

You never apologize, okay? It's three rules to livin'.

- Rule number one, never apologize. - Yeah.

Rule number two, you never give out your government name.

- Yeah, yeah. - Okay?

Rule number three, you never throw out cups that get free refills.

What?

I'm gonna snap you in half, you little punk.

My boss is gonna be really, really upset about this.

Nobody give a damn 'bout your boss.

Your boss can kiss my ass.

Fold up, hold up, hold up hold up, hold up »

- is that lil baby? - That's lil baby!

- Wah-wah-wah... p - Hey, wha' goin' on, man?

You all see this big-ass boat in front of y'all, man?

Wait, wait, wait. Uh...

Um, what if I offered you q truce?

A truce? Man, I don't even do truces.

No, we made it, man. It's... it's good shit.

I'll tell ya if it good shit or not.

Let me see.

- What are you doing? - I'm saving your ass kicks, man.

- It's our only blunt. - Man, shut up. Look.

Mwah-wah-wah-wah-wah

you see that? Look again.

All right.

Hey, man, I ain't gonna lie, man. That's some good shit.

That's mighty fine.

I told you.

Good shit, man. That shit... That shit strong or what?

What the hell we doin' right here, anyway?

- Y'all hit us, lil baby. You wham and shit. - Hush!

He whammed it.

Um, we hit your car.

- Hold up, hold up, hold up. - Accident.

What... so this, right here?

Accident.

Man, I ain't hate you. Don't even worry 'bout it, man.

- For real? - Yeah.

It'd be a shame to be upset on such a beautiful day.

We gonna get some fries, man. Let's ride.

Well, I'll be damned.

I told you.

Now why you still recordin'?

Don't nobody wanna see no video of some guys becoming friends.

Man, you don't get it, do you?

Yeah, we supposed to fight those dudes, but the weed made us get along.

That was incredible.

I... I mean, I never seen weed do that.

Stuff has superpowers.

Exactly.

You know what? We 'bout to own this town.

Everybody finna be a superhero.

Business is boomin' money be movin' d

let's go!

Mobody got it like we got it who you foolin' »

my car won't start. Goddamn it.

Business is boomin' everyone want a portion

mow I can't fold my wallet no more contortion d

jpan't tell me nothin' I been makin' a fortune

so, how can I help you?

I wanna enjoy my job, but I hate kids.

I got the perfect thing for you.

Business is boomin' money be movin' d

me don't be losin'

mhat y'all be doin'

pley, business is boomin'

money be movin'

mobody sleepin' on the job y'all be snoozin' d

come on! For real?

It's ridiculous! Come on.

- Yo, what's up, 0g? - What da deal?

I already got them people going...

All about that there smoke batch, on my grill, man,

goddamn runnin' crazy, boy! You wan' come back?

I don't know what he said. Just show him the weed, man.

Plope you ready for the boom now

all of my partners is busy

jfhey with the jam like jiffy

jou ain't involved it's a pity d

well, Roger, we are turning the block up, baby.

Told you it were gonna work.

Me 'bout to get some money

hlands in the bag like I'm holdin' both jokers

pley, business is boomin'

no one talks to me.

I think it's because I'm the only white kid at a historically black college.

Nah.

You just lame as hell.

You gotta loosen up, bro.

I just want people to see the chill, charismatic me, not this anxious mess.

Dude, if you so anxious, well, this is the weed that's gonna calm you down.

Mobody got it like we got it who you foolin' »

business is boomin' money be movin' d

me don't be losin'

mhat y'all be doin' hey, business is boomin'.

Over here, this is where the rich people live.

- Mm-mm. That's the secret. - Who the hell gave him the key?

Now, quenton, you know I have to know,

how dreadful was that outfit she had on?

Honey, it was ugly and it was an outfit.

What did you say to porsha?

None of your damn business.

- What do you mean, none of my business? - What I said.

- What'd you say? - Ladies...

Man, when I tell you these bitches are wearing me out.

We got what you need.

- Sho "nuff? - Take a whiff of that.

Oh. Well, I'm gonna try it.

Let you know how this work out. I'm gonna go live my best life with this.

Yeah.

Blood, sweat and tears runnin' dry need a donor jd

hlands in the bag like I'm holdin' both jokers

business is boomin'

- I don't give a damn who right or wrong. - 0h, that smell... ooh.

Get on over here, quenton. Get in here!

- Get your ass over here, boy. - You know you're family for life.

All right. I'll be your teapot.

Oh, baby. Oh, cuz.

How much we got?

- 'Bout this much. - Shit. Aight.

I mean, this town's so dry, we're finna be making all the money.

- Yeah. Oh, yeah. - Baby wipes instead of toilet tissue money.

- 0h, yeah? - I'm talkin' brand-new car money.

I'm talkin' gettin' yourself out your mama basement money.

What's wrong with my basement?

- Damn, she got some good ears. - Man, 'cause you're so loud, man!

Come on, man.

You know I love your basement, auntie!

Me been gettin' all the money j

Jill the money-ay

oh, damn.

Oh, damn. Our super weed's gone.

They got the Bible too, cuz!

Shit.

Damn!

Yo, where's our shit?

Well, you better slow down, run up on my side house like that.

You s'posed to come around the front, you wanna address me properly.

Come up talkin' that brokanese,

act like you havin' a crack attack or so.

Man, did you see somebody go in my house?

Did I see somebody what?

Do I look like the house watcher?

Oh, oh, "big bang the watch dog."

Nobody go... Nobody go in your house.

No, I don't watch no goddamn house.

I've just been sitting here with co-sign and these beautiful ladies,

and this dude I don't know,

looking at that cloud up there shaped like the Booty.

It's amazing, too.

Ain't nobody worry about that, man.

Somebody went in my house and stole our whole stash.

See? That's what happens. Look at you.

Just decide you wanna sell weed and start sellin' weed.

Can't just do that. You can't just sit down at the dinner table

and start eating without praying, boy.

You probably got ghetto taxed.

Probably that ghetto tax real!

So you took it?

Did I say I knew anything about it?

I'm just sayin' maybe things like this wouldn't happen

if you showed big bang some respect.

Respect? Respect? Here you go,

talkin' "bout respect again. Yeah.

- Bro, that's all you ever talk about. - Like aretha!

Yo, we don't owe you nothin', bro.

This man act like he invented

selling weed. - I tell you.

Ain't nobody else invent selling weed but me.

I've been trapping since before trapping was trapping. A'ight?

That's what I do.

You... you ever heard of Selma?

Yeah, I heard of Selma.

Yeah, yeah, that's why they call it Selma.

I used to "sell ma" weed down there!

They was marchin' for that.

And other things important in the black community.

But weed was part of it.

Yo, man, we get it. You old as hell, bro. But where's our weed at?

- 0h. - Who you callin' old? You see my outfit.

Boy, I'm fresher than zest.

Boy, I'm so fresh, people don't say, "take a shower."

They say, "take a big bang."

Let me tell ya what ya ought to do.

If I was y'all, which I'd never be y'all.

'Cause I wouldn't be standing down there

looking up at big bang like, "please,

big bang, help us. Who stole our weed?"

If I was y'all, this is what I'd do.

Search around.

You lookin in the wrong place right here.

Go down there, ask the Asian

people down there. - You never...

- Asians next door, bro. - You ain't ask them?

The white people over there be... Got all their windows blacked out.

Yeah.

You ain't even see they go in and out of the house.

They could be in there murdering people.

I'm not saying that they stole anything 'cause that would be racist.

I'm just sayin', check the...

What you do is check the high school.

Yup, check the high school.

Oh, them high boys down there, they got no respect.

All they lookin' for, somebody to get.

They got the face all day. Maybe they got your shit.

Is that a Booty cloud?

No, the Booty... Look more to the left.

Damn. Booty cloud.

That's the Booty cloud.

Whoo!

Yo, man, why you wearin' that stupid-ass hat?

What's wrong with it?

I used to wear it back in the day.

Uh, you gotta understand, cuz, we got to blend in.

Come on, now. Gotta trust me.

Come on, man.

- Get in there. Come on. - Come on, cuz, in here.

Students, please report to the buses

for the verdant biokinetic field trip.

All right, now, check this out. We lookin' for kids with clean kicks.

'Cause that mean they stole our stash.

Bet you they did. I bet you they did.

Oh, snap, Mr. mcmullen.

Yup. Mcmullen.

Oh. I did not know he was still the principal here.

- He is. - He can't see me.

Can't see me.

I know he's still mad at me.

You know why.

Bro, it was a senior prank.

Man, you smashed his wife.

On his desk.

While the pa was on. While the pa was on.

Mrs. principal.

Ooh. I'm gonna be on the honor roll now.

What the...

- I gave her the whole swirl. - You got to give me...

It's a souvenir.

I hate that hat.

- Listen... - 0h, shit!

The kid has gotta wear pants. That's not up for debate.

Coochie king.

Oh, it's on.

Hey, man, why is it so quiet?

Like, don't nobody wanna skip class 'round...

Yo, Wesley snipes.

Call 911.

Oh, my god.

Damn, what happened, skirt?

Poor kid.

Oh, my god, on your face.

God damn, these kids.

Oh, shit.

Come on. Man. We about to get robbed.

- We... - You don't wanna Rob us. We broke.

Would you mind taking our picture, sir?

- Huh? - We just got a a on a science project

and we wanna text our mom.

Take a picture?

They kids, man.

Don't you ever reach for your damn jacket

like that. Put your phone in your pocket.

I almo' knocked yall the fuck out.

="sir"? Yup. He called me "sir."

It's the braids. I done told ya. It's the...

You smell that?

Right here.

Locked, man.

We gonna connect through, and we're gonna get them punks. Come on.

- We got 'em now, man. - Mm-hm.

Yo! Mr. crandall!

- Yo! - Jesus!

You been gettin' high?

You guys scared the piss outta me.

Why are you not on the field trip?

Buddy boy high as hell. You don't remember me?

- It's Calvin. - Roger.

Hold on. Let me do the move.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Calvin. Yes, I remember you.

- What's up? - You graduated?

I mean, you know, I walked across the stage.

You walked, that's for sure.

- I was there, you know. - Mm-hm.

So what's up?

We... we got a, um,

a little neighborhood business that, you know,

me and my cousin done started up, right.

You know, 'cause we trying to change our life around.

- 'Cause I graduated. Right? - Got it.

Some of our business supplies have been misplaced

and, um, it was brought to... To our attention

that some of the people who might have misplaced 'em,

they probably go to this school.

S50, we just wanted to say hey, you know, speak to 'em.

Oh, so you guys are dealers.

Somebody copped your product.

The whole stash. Man, they took the whole thing.

And this smells rather familiar.

We was wondering if you could help us

find out where you got it, 'cause,

you know... -Yeah. You know.

It's kinda hard to come by now, you know?

You're telling me.

Dealers all over town are completely sold out.

It's like somebody's buying in bulk.

Open a friggin' chronic costco.

Found this, uh, this canister earlier in the cafeteria.

I haven't seen it before, but, um, I tell you,

this is dank as fudge.

I smell it.

- What he say? - He... I don't know.

Man, this smell like angel farts. This is our stuff.

Talk to Ivanov.

They're in the magic kitty, strip club, downtown.

Russians steal everything. They done stole

our election, and they stole our weed.

Calvin.

I know you're in the building.

[ Found your hat.

It find you, my friend, you're going down, hard.

Told you not to wear that stupid hat, man!

It's my favorite hat, cuz.

Damn!

Sounds like you guys need this more than I do.

I do, 'cause I'm going down.

You home wrecker!

- Come on, man! - 0h! Here you go.

Yeah, I'm-a get down.

Come on, man! Grab me some!

Come on. Mcmullen gonna kill me.

Go! Go! The gym! Gym!

Oh, no, not again.

Go, go, go, go, go!

Go, man!

Damn.

I told you,

if you ever stepped foot in this school again,

I'd beat you senseless.

How's our wife?

That super weed made you fly, cuz!

Dunked on your ass!

Uh-oh, what goin' on?

Oh!

- Come on, man. - What happened?

What happened to my power?

Out of the way! Move! Move, move!

Calvin!

Damn it!

That was crazy.

And we got us.

You always gotta be doin' some stupid shit, man.

I can't believe we're alive, cuz.

- Man, get your ass up, man. - Time to go to the strip club.

Hi. Welcome to verdant...

I can't believe I lost my hat again.

And over here.

Perfect.

A... Alicia?

Yo!

Roger?

What's up?

Hey.

This is my, um... -Sorry, I got

bugs in my mouth. My name Calvin.

- Cousin Galvin. - Mm-hm.

Okay.

Anyways, uh, this where you work?

Yeah.

It's dope.

So are you guys with the kids?

We, um, volunteer chaperone

- at school, sometimes. - Parents. Mm-hm.

Oh, people left their kids with you guys?

Yeah.

What's wrong with that?

I'm just playing. All right, you guys are gonna get the full tour.

And don't fall asleep like you used to in class.

All right, guys. My name's Alicia harmon, and this is verdant biokinetics.

50 let's start with my favorite part of the tour.

Employee lounge where there's free soda and snacks. Come on.

What is you doin'?

We ain't got no time for no fool tour.

We ain't got time for no drinks, Roger. You forgot?

We need to go to the strip club. The Russian?

Yo, the Booty club gonna be there.

You see that lady up there?

Yo, just let me finesse this real quick and it's gonna be all good.

Plus, she said it's free soda. So we are goin' to be good.

Don't nobody give a damn about no drinks, Roger.

You know what? They better have liters in there,

'cause you sound thirsty as hell.

Eh, shut up.

Founded in 2013,

verdant biokinetics makes everything

from rocket biofuel to nutrient-dense baby formula.

Well, I hope they don't mix up the

baby formula and the rocket fuel.

Babies gonna be blowin' up all over town.

- Shut up, man. - We're working to improve the mind,

the body, and the world.

Hello.

Oh. And look, there's our ceo, Ms. Ana cheever.

Hey, everyone. Sorry to interrupt.

I just wanna say how happy I am

that you're all here today to be part of

our inner city youth outreach program.

Alicia is helping us to be a fully-woke corporation.

"Woke"?

You're all so brave, and so beautiful.

You have such bright, bright futures ahead of you.

And just remember, don't do drugs.

Unless, of course, they're one of ours.

I'm kidding. I am kidding. Okay.

Oh, thank you for that, Ms. cheever.

Let's give it up for her.

This lady is whack.

I think I'll find me a place to smoke. I'm out.

Why don't we head into our vr room,

where you guys can fly with bees through real honeycombs. Yeah?

Access granted.

You figure it out?

Oh, yeah, you know. I'm chill. I'm math as hell.

Yo, so, yo, what happened to the tour?

I [eft them in the auditorium with a science movie.

So, you know, they're probably all diddling each other by now.

I like science movies.

I bet you do.

What's up with your boss, like, cryin' 'bout the inner city kids,

dressing like erykah badu?

Is she like, serious?

Yeah.

She means well, but she can just be a real line-crosser.

That woman stresses me out.

Word. Yo, when I get like that, yo, I get high.

Yo, I actually got some if you wanna smoke.

I stopped smoking in college.

For real?

- Yeah. - Like, you never smoke?

Well, I guess, I don't know, I just started focusing on my career.

Yeah, I'm all about my paper, too, but yo, I gotta smoke.

Like, I gots to stay high.

Well, you're cute, so you can do that.

See, this is what I'm talking about. The ceo needs me.

I'll be here if you change your mind.

Shouldn't you be with the kids?

Kids? Kids!

Roger, it's this way.

- I knew that. - Uh-huh.

Nobody in here.

Time to smoke my blunt.

Ooh. Mustn't get too hard.

Nobody.

What am I gonna do?

- Help me. Help me. Help me. Help me. - Want me to help you?

- 0h, please... - Let me take a picture.

- Now come on, man. - Man, why

you so strong? Get off... I can walk.

Yo... yo, what's goin' on?

Ain't none of your business, sir.

It is my business. He's with me.

Well, then, you need to come with me, too.

Come on, now.

- You snitched. You're stupid. - Damn, man! Damn!

Fye is causing some side effects.

This is very, very bad. These results are horrendous.

Well, should we delay the launch?

No. Absolutely not. Our stock price would plummet.

- Ow! - Quiet, man.

- So0rry to interrupt. - What is it?

I found these two wandering around the halls

and this gentleman was in a restricted area.

Who you callin' a gentleman? I am not no gentleman. I am a grown man.

What... what's going on?

Uh, these two claim to be with the high school,

but none of the other chaperones have ever heard of 'em.

They say they're with you?

Mm-hm. Yeah.

Yup. I'm taking them to lunch today.

They're actually community leaders.

Oh! Community leaders. Wonderful.

Calvin, Roger.

Yeah. It's officer community leader Calvin, at that.

- And Obama was a community leader. - Uh-huh.

I miss Obama.

- He was a Deacon at his church. - Hello there. Thank you so much.

We're gonna go.

Take them to Chez Jane.

It's the best soul food in Atlanta. It's on us.

He only like brown m&ms, did you know?

Thank you so much.

Love you, brothas.

Yo, thanks for helping us out, and

all that, you know what I'm saying,

giving us a ride back to the whip, and all that.

Are you kidding me? You just gave me

an excuse to get out of the office.

Let's go get that lunch [ Just lied about.

Uh-uh, uh-uh, I don't think we...

Uh-uh, we ain't got time, ma'am. We're kinda in a rush.

Uh, have you ever eaten at magic kitty?

Huh? - Yo I . Yo, yo.

Yo, he's kidding. We should go to zaxby's or something.

Well, if you want the best wings, you go to magic kitty.

Let's go see some Booty.

Okay, but look. There's a reason we gotta go, okay?

We gotta go see some Russian gangsters, okay?

They stole our weed. And we ain't really got a plan.

And you could die.

Okay. Well as long as I'm not eating a boring-ass salad bowl at the mall,

I'm down for whatever, Calvin.

Let's go.

Shit. You said you wanted a ride or die.

So that's what we into, people that just wanna die?

Ji you a bad chick let me hear you say. Yeah

little Booty, big Booty don't care. Yeah d

jou got your own car or your own crib. Yeah

fle steady callin' but you leave him on read

lust sway wid it sway wid it >

sway wid it

kinda geeked up sway wid it >

ohl!

Lust sway wid it, sway wid it sway wid it >

j met a dude named Wes said he checkin' for the best

what's up, baby? You wanna dance?

No. I won't... we don't want no dance right now. Maybe... maybe laters.

But I know what you can help me with, though.

Um, you know where I can find Ivanov?

Sorry, I'm working.

You working? Oh, but you can't find Ivanov?

- Hey. - Hey.

I know what you're lookin' for.

50, you... you... Where the hell my weed at?

I got no need for your weed, 'cause I got so much money, it's funny.

I got money.

I'm a li'l popcorn player.

That nigga just made it rain on me!

These wings are so good.

These breasts and thighs are good, too.

Whoo! Go, girl.

Ooh.

Now that ain't corporate, right there.

- A heap of hundreds, cuz! - Hey, buddy.

Uh-uh. I told you I ain't want no dance.

I heard you're looking for Ivanov.

Yes. And tell him, when you see him, I need to talk to him.

The boss is here.

What you talkin " " bout, blondie?

I am Ivanov. Irena Ivanov.

Let's go.

Yeah, you all heard the Terminator.

We gotta get the hell up outta here.

Let's go see what she's talkin' 'bout.

Okay, let's hear it.

Why are you coming in here and disrespecting my business?

No. What's disrespectful is,

you stealin' our weed and passin' it off like it's your own.

- Calm down, Calvin. - No. Ain't no calm down, cuz.

I'ma calm down when you all give us our weed back.

We don't steal weed. You are wasting my time.

Bogdan, get rid of them.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. We're not here to cause any trouble.

No, Alicia, ain't nobody scared of thieven seagal. You hear me?

I'm about to go left and right like a carnival game, only ugly...

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

What if I offered you guys q truce?

You all like smokin' weed, right?

Okay.

Okay. Okay. Now we do business.

Hey, this, uh, this is my design.

Your design?

This college kid, he come into my tattoo shop.

He said, "I want cool Russian tattoo."

But fuck this guy, so I designed "weak dick."

He must like, he put on weed jar.

And what's the name of this kid?

I don't know, but, uh,

he have red-black sweatshirt, uh, with pussy on it.

P-pussycat.

South Atlanta college, right? Yeah.

I think we're going to school, after all.

You're not going anywhere.

- Okay. - 0h, shit.

Whoa.

Shit. What's goin' on here?

We give you good information. Now you give me something.

I want her.

Me?

You are classy-hot, not like other girls.

I want to see you dance.

I would like to see her, too.

You work for me now.

We need a plan.

We gotta get up outta here, y'all.

Calm down. I got this.

Your girl done did this before. Yes, she have.

Shut up, dawg.

Go, Alicia!

Irena! Irena!

Oh! Damn!

- Run! - Go!

Girl, you crazy! To hell wrong wit" you!

- Come on, god, they crazy! - Let's go!

What is you doin'?

- Come on. - Let's go!

Girl, what was you doin' in there?

You said we needed a plan.

We didn't say kick the Russian in the head.

Fuck!

Oops.

Damn, girl!

Yo, I just feel like

we bein' such a bad influence on you. You know what I'm sayin'?

Like, if you need to get back to work or whatever you was doin',

me and my cousin, really, we got it from here on.

I can't go... I literally can't go back to work today. I'm high as hell.

Which one of these students you think smoke weed?

All the' kids smoke weed. You gotta know how to talk to 'em. Mm-hm.

Just gotta know what to say. Watch out.

Football players. Which one of y'all got that weak dick?

Damn.

I didn't name it that!

I didn't name it that.

Damn.

All right, it can't be that hard to find a kid

who smokes weed on a college campus.

I think I know somebody.

Uh-huh. Follow my cuz.

Well, well, well, if it ain't robbin' and stealin'.

Nah, it's Meegan and steffi.

Oh, hey! Zesto's!

- What's up? - 0h.

Sorry about what happened the other night.

Hey, didn't you get our apology joint?

Yeah, I got it. And I got fired.

Mm-hm. But it don't even matter right now.

I need you to tell me right now, who sells this weed.

Right now.

We don't smoke weed.

Are you serious?

You gon' tell me that right now, with a straight face,

after we just smoked a pound in the back of your benz the other night?

It was... they made me do it. It was weird.

Uh-huh.

Oh, you ain't got to explain yourself!

- Stop actin' like that. - I know. I'm just...

He smoke weed. Listen here.

Chocolate, vanilla, stop playin'.

Where's our weed, 'cause if you

don't tell us where our weed at,

Alicia here gonna kick y'all ass. Ain't that right?

Mm-hm.

Yup.

Yup. You don't wanna...

Don't test me.

Now I already drop-kicked one little goofy bird today.

Just like that.

She don't look crazy.

Yeah, you ain't scaring nobody.

Those pants are from j.Crew. I wore them to a bar mitzvah.

Oh. Okay. All right.

- Uh-oh. - 0h, shit.

Got somethin' now.

Oh. Here.

Okay. Okay! Okay.

This guy named Tobin,

he's got the best weed these days.

It makes you feel like Beyonce riding a horse, like bareback.

But I heard he's, like, huge and scary,

so I wouldn't mess with him if I were you guys.

Nobody care about that. Okay?

I know krav maga. You hear me?

- You hear me? - Damn.

Listen here. Y'all ain't ready for this crane.

So, uh, where is this Tobin dude?

He's sponsoring a party at theta tonight, but y'all can't get in.

It's for frats only.

Plus, you guys, I really wouldn't mess with him.

He's like the soog knight of Atlanta.

- "S00g knight." - "S00g knight."

You mean suge?

Whatever.

Ooh, you all gotta stop watchin' black movies. Okay?

'Cause you're fuckin' up the culture.

It's like the same thing.

It's okay.

Come on, girl. Damn.

Jphe boy got a problem better figure it out »

jall you selfie-takin' nickin' gotta watch your mouth >

pm just a midwest playa with some bounce. From the south

whoo! Thi' thang lit!

Oh, they let everybody in here. Okay, I see what's happenin'.

Yo. Where you think we gon' find the Tobin dude?

I don't know. We gotta split up, baby.

I think I'm gonna go that way.

Ladies! Have you ever met a guy who been to another dimension? Okay.

Pamn

bag just dropped I'm about to go. Ham

pretty girls flock when they see me go. Ham

bhakin' too hard for the radiodamn

sm about to go damn d>

jdios damn

bag just dropped I'm about to go. Ham

pretty girls flock when they see me go. Ham

pm about to go...

Damn, I shoulda went to college. Ooh-wee. What's up, baby?

Yes, yes.

Ladies.

Can one of you ladies help me find Tobin?

Tobin? No?

Ooh. Girl, that's why your wig stink. Don't do that.

Hey, my man. Who you wi'?

Oh, uh, I'm lookin' for my boy Tobin. You know where he at?

- Tobin! - Who you with?

Hey, I ain't ask you all that.

This is a private party. Who you wi'?

- 0h, who I'm with. - Yeah.

Um, I'm from another chapter. Minnesota.

Mm-hm. Theta all day, baby! Theta. All. Day.

Hell, yeah. Theta all day.

- Yeah. - Theta all day, baby. Okay.

Look, look. We about to step. We down a man. Hop in.

No. I got asthma.

- I can't really do that right now. - Hey, hop in, bro.

- Let me go use the bathroom. - 0h, yo, we got one!

Okay. Later-later.

So, do you got a man?

Roger, do you really think I'd be here if I had a man?

No, I'm just asking.

I love this song. Let's go dance.

Don't kick me in the head.

Oh, you exotic

sho told you you could walk in here like that >

mho told you you could light up this room like that

jvho told you you could kill all these girls like that >

jand every time they hate you know you got that kickback

Must be somebody

jneah, yeah, yeah

uh-uh! Man, what y'all doin'? Uh-uh, get off me, brotha!

I ain't come here for that! I just came to talk to some...

What the...

Come on. Yeah.

Hold your horses right now. You mean right now?

- 0h... - Right now.

This is where you wanna go? “Yes!

Yeah, man. Let's go.

Right here. All right. Come on.

I got it! I got the move, bro.

Whoo!

00-00!

All right. Eyes over y'all back.

I'll be ready for ya.

Now beat 'em back.

Oh, shit. You people are crazy.

Theta flip! Theta flip!

Theta flip! Theta flip!

- Go. - Come on, bro.

Theta flip. Let's go! I got you!

I got asthma. Don't make me flip. It ain't good for my heart.

Theta flip! Theta flip!

Theta flip! Theta flip! Theta flip!

Oh!

Ee tie ==

ooh!

I'm good.

Damn!

No harm, no foul. All right? I'm "Kay.

Calvin!

That's our founding brother's ashes!

You say this who?

Our founding brother's ashes, man!

Oh, shit.

I got dead people all over me!

Y'all, that ain't no damn theta! Stop that bitch!

Let's go, let's go!

Oh, they're trying to kick on me! Move!

I et's find somewhere to hide!

That's weird.

- This... this look like trouble. - On!

Oh, yeah, let's hide in here.

Can I join y'all?

Come on! Aw!

Oh.

That is wrong.

- You just need Jesus. - Come on, Cal.

- Get that punk up! - Yo, get back here, punk!

Let's go! Where he at?

- This way. - Where they at?

Check all the rooms!

Man, I told you to stay low. Now what we supposed to do?

Tell me how we're supposed to find Tobin now.

Hey, yo, let's go see if Tobin got any more of that killer weed, man.

See? I told you we gonna be straight.

Mm-hm.

Yup.

That's our weed.

There's a security breach.

Some scrawny dude with no dance skills, and his friends.

Scrawny dude? I will fight that mother...

Wait, you can't just go in there, all maniac-style like that.

We need to have a plan first.

What weed we got left?

We ain't got no damn weed, Roger.

We ain't got nothin' but shake.

Hold up. Remember we was kids, we had no weed then.

We used to go in my mama room and take all the

little roaches and shake, put it together,

and make a super joint.

Sta-i see where you goin'...

It's captain planet.

- Call on him. - Let's do it.

Mr. planet, sir, we call on you today

because we need your help more than ever.

We was wondering if you could slide down

and help us up with some of that good-good.

He ain't pick up. Hang up the phone.

- Leave a message. - Break.

Come on! Let's go!

Thank ya, brotha.

That's it, bro.

Are you guys okay?

It's part of the process.

Trust me.

Ooh, lord.

Goddamn it!

I'm okay. I'm all right.

Yeah, fool.

All right, now everybody be cool. Don't nobody make a move.

You all didn't have to kick the door in, man. It was open.

Well, if you don't get your missy Elliott body half an ass up,

well, I'm on your ah', ho...

- Get his ass. - I'm talkin' 'bout big top Lilly.

Get his ass.

Look at him. You shoulda joined a sorority 'cause you know why?

Nou got titties

get his ass.

Well, look at you. Why you got a check on your forehead?

I bet your tattoo artist was in the third grade. Good, check, ugly butt.

Get his ass.

- I'm ju' gettin' started... - We didn't come here to play.

Right. Where's Tobin?

Whassup, bitches?

- Wait a minute. - 0h, hell, no.

I know you ain't Tobin.

Business is boomin' money be movin' d

give us our weed back, white boy.

No. No, I... I'm not giving anything back.

'Cause I've learned an important lesson.

That lesson is, when you have amazing weed...

Mm-hm.

Everybody's nice to you.

Even if you're a nerdy white virgin.

No, no, I'm... I'm not a virgin.

I've had so much sex.

No, no. I know another lesson your ass about to learn today,

- ii'l virgin white boy. - L.Et him know.

When you steal people shit, it's repercussion.

We comin' back to cap that ass.

Alicia, whoop his ass! “Wait!

Can we not go there again?

Hell, yeah! And another thing is, that tattoo you got on your arm,

it actually says "weak dick."

- What? What? - Flimsy.

No, no, the tattoo artist said it meant "cool sex guy."

Oh, sweetie.

Get the hell outta my party!

You know, I'm king of this frat now!

What?

- Yo, say, what did you... - What the hell you just say?

Uh,

I'm just... I'm playin'. I'm pla... it's a joke.

Wait a minute. Everybody shut up!

Everybody pause! Theta, you know what? I'm tired of y'all.

We superheroes. And you know what?

When our superpowers kick in...

Ain't no tellin' what we gon' do

you don't wanna see this.

Uh, Roger, what's your superpowers, 'cause I think mine died, real.

Oh.

What is he doing?

Holy shit.

What?

What happened?

I smell dookie.

Oh, you ain't... you ain't... You don't need to worry 'bout that.

Uh-huh, did y'all see that?

Did you see that?

Did you saw that masterpiece, huh?

We ain't playin' no game. Ain't no tellin'

what we do when our powers kick in.

Yo, this ain't our weed Bible. Look at this.

Kama Sutra for small men.

Hey, dude, give... Give me my book back!

- 0h! - Oh! She be hittin' you from the back.

Not.

That's... that's normal. - 0h!

Dude, what you got goin' on? What kind of fraternity is this?

Where's our weed Bible?

I don't know what that is.

I just bought your weed.

You know, some dude sold it to me for cheap.

What dude that were?

I don't know. Some dude going on about a Booty cloud.

- Big bang. - Big bang.

You can have that.

Yeah, we smoke our founding brother's ashes in his memory.

Thetas.

Oh, shit.

Uh, I guess smokin' dead people really works.

What's up, negroes?

Sixty-eight degrees and partly cloudy in downtown Atlanta.

Brought to you by fye. It's the future of high.

It's fye. Launching tomorrow.

1 know everybody's excited about that.

Jimmy, you gonna go downtown...

Trap house,

there's so many wonderful things I could say about ya.

- But I don't feel like it. - Big bang, where's our weed Bible?

What? What you talkin' 'bout?

We know you got it, because Tobin told us.

So Tobin told you I had the Bible.

So just 'cause Tobin told you somethin', you believe Tobin?

Where the Bible at?

A'ight, okay, a'ight, yeah. I got it.

A'ight, I sold him some weed and I ain't got none of the rest,

and I ain't got your Bible no more either. Sold that, too.

To who?

I don't know. Some white people.

White people wanna buy stuff, you sell it to 'em.

Some company called, uh, uh, vit... vit...

Ver... vverdant biokinetics?

That. Say it again.

Verdant biokinetics.

Yeah, that's them, right there, man.

They were all in a panic to get it.

They almost ripped my arm apart.

Someone was, "we all need it! We all need it!"

And they paid me a lot of money.

And that's how ['m retiring.

Big bang outta here. Bang!

What would a big tech lab want with our weed?

I don't know. They said they gon' make some, like, smart blunt.

That's what it was called. Fye.

And it was fye, too. They let me try.

It was amazing. Nice, clean burn.

Fruity flavors. I think it's the future.

Although the come-down, it's a little bad, little shaky.

But, hey, more weed better than no weed.

You know what I'm sayin'?

And they white people. Why not trust 'em?

And you ain't know nothin' about this?

No... I know they've been developing something for a while now,

but I don't know what that has to do with your weed Bible.

Grow house.

The weed Bible.

How you even know about all that?

Man, I've been bangin' your mama for months now.

I saw everything.

Bro, who up there smashing your mama, bro?

- I don't know, and I don't wanna know, man. - Ooh, baby.

- Turn this up. - I ooh, baby!

- Look at this. - We need to turn this up.

- Turn up the TV, man. - Do something.

- Come on. - I don't wanna hear that.

Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang!

- Bang! - That was you?

And don't act so surprised. I done told you a million times.

I thought that was just "yo mama" jokes!

- Walit, you taught me how to ride a bike. - Mm-hm.

You was at my fifth birthday party.

Are you my daddy?

Hell no, I ain't your daddy, boy!

- 0h. - I look like it? Look at me.

He got a point. He have light skin and you black as hell.

I was just being nice to you.

That's what you do, you be nice to the kid to get close to the mom.

And she let me hit!

I heard that.

Damn. Your mama got some ears on her.

We know.

There she is, baby.

- Ooh! - So fine, walkin' down those stairs.

- Hi, baby. - Hey, baby.

- Mm, you smell good. - I know.

Roger, listen. I told bang to get your butt out that game.

Had to do it.

And you...

- Ooh... - Did I do good?

- Did I do... - You did good, baby!

Did I do good?

0oh! -0 h, my god!

- Mom, I can't unsee stuff like that. - She made me...

- Unsee this, too. And this. And this. - On!

0h!

0h. Ew.

- You wanna see it again? - No, I don't wanna see it ever!

I got tapes. You should see the other stuff.

Bang, why am I still carrying this darn suitcase?

I don't know, baby. Shouldn't carry nothin' but my heart.

And where's that whip at of yours you keep tellin' me about?

It's quarter past.

Bang, there it is right there. Look at that.

Ooh! We done came up, baby!

Bang play no games. Gotta go.

Open my door for me, honey. Come on. = will.

I'll be back in two weeks.

Don't you drink up all my fanta, boy.

- Daddy-daddy, honey. - Get in there, sweetness.

- 0h, let me get in here. Ooh! - Yeah!

Get in, baby!

Work that thing, babe.

Bye, bitches. And we's rollin'.

Ooh!

Wow. So that's that?

So, um, this is where you guys live?

- Yes. - Yeah.

Okay.

If big bang took our Bible, and sold it to the tech company,

I'm thinking, let's just go get it back.

I mean, Alicia, you work there, right?

50 I'm sure there's no problem with getting the ceo to hear us out. Right?

Well, hold on. Guys, today's been...

I don't even know what today's been. I can't do that.

We're talking about my job here, my whole career.

- No. - So0 now you're a corporate girl.

Thought that place stressed you out.

Roger, no offense,

but you wouldn't know the first thing about holding down a job.

- Yeah, I wouldn't know the first thing... - I worked my ass off

to get to where I am, and I put it all on the line for you today.

Just 'cause you work at some big, fancy job,

that don't mean you better than anybody.

I ain't no bum.

Okay, well, why don't you just say what you really mean, then.

What I'm saying is,

you look real strange working for them people that stole our stuff.

I'm just trying to figure out what side you're on, 'cause right now,

you're looking like the feds.

Okay.

What I'm not gonna do is this.

So, bye.

Eis as

- bye. - Bye!

- Bye. - Bye-bye, bye, bye-bye!

Hell she sayin'? Shit.

Talkin' 'bout it.

Where you goin', cuz?

We gotta fix this, cuz. You know that.

Goddamn!

Pley! Hey!

Pley! Hey!

Aley! Hey!

- Uh-huh, that smells real familiar, ma'am. - Hah.

- Why aren't you smokin' your little fye? - Hm.

I'm sorry. Can I help you?

Oh, you're Alicia's community guys.

Supposedly.

Yeah. And that's our weed.

Oh. Well, congratulations. My compliments to the chef.

This is the best weed I've ever had.

You're doing a service to your community.

My assistant got this off the streets.

He got your little cookbook, too.

So there won't be any more of this.

So you got our weed Bible!

Through a subcontractor, so, it's all legit.

Big bang is not no damn subcontractor, okay?

He stole that from us. It's not legit.

Oh. That sounds like a "you" problem.

Sorry, my ride is here.

My assistant, Hayes.

Hayes?

How could you do this to us, bro?

Sorry, bro, I'm up for a promotion.

- I shoulda dropped your ass off. - We should have his ass.

Oh, uh, we didn't just buy your weed.

We bought everybody's weed. And what we couldn't buy, we just took.

So the town is thirsty now.

And guess who has the cool, refreshing answer?

Fye.

Man, what you know about fye?

Oh, well, according to the urban dictionary,

fye is slang for fire, as in "fye is on fire."

Yeah, I knew all that "woke" shit was fake!

Who, me fake? Oh, believe me, I am 100% woke.

"You people"?

Fye has all the benefits of marijuana,

while speaking to the modern consumer.

Bluetooth, Wi-Fi, syncs all your contacts, and it's legal.

There isn't gonna be a stoner in Atlanta without one.

And then the rest of the country.

Dealers go to jail, but I'm gonna be rich.

I knew you was a snake, woman. I knew it!

Damn braids, man.

Oh. Sorry, not sorry.

I have a launch to get ready for.

"Fye is the future of relaxation."

Here, gentlemen, try some.

Much love, brothers.

- That's what we shoulda did. - Fye her ass up, man.

- Shoulda said... - Let's go, Hayes.

Yo, man, I just can't catch a break.

It don't make no sense.

Man, to be honest, cuz, forget the weed, forget the Bible.

We might as well just start over, get a brand-new hustle.

Nah, man.

I'm tired of starting over with you. It... it don't work.

Y'all wouldn't even be selling weed

if you woulda just showed up at the bank, dawg.

Man, I been hustling to help you with your dreams.

I don't give a damn 'bout no snacks.

I'm just tryin' to be a good cousin, bro.

And you know what? You gonna stop blamin' me

for all your problems that go wrong in your life, man.

I know you're not gonna smoke that.

Oh, this gettin' smoked.

Ooh, shoot. My wig 'bout damn came off.

Boy, you need to clean this room up.

Yo, look at Roger over here, sleepin'.

Waste our time. Let's get "im.

Baby powder, what the hell you doin' here?

We heard about the Bible.

Mm-hm.

I did what you said, but...

It's gone, now. It's...

It's gone.

I let y'all down.

- You didn't let us down. - 0h, no.

- You let the people down! - The people!

- You screwed up. - Mm.

I oughta knock the green now and later juice out...

No!

Thanks. That's helping me a lot, making me feel better.

Let me explain something to you.

- See, the Europeans... - School him!

They took the weed and they gentrified it.

The saltine crackers.

They came in and mixed it up,

put they own bells and whistles on it, man. You.

- And made it they own. - You listening?

And you gotta stop them. You.

How? The weed you gave me, gave me superpowers, man.

Without that, I'm just a broke-ass stoner, man.

Yeah. That's true.

Boy, that weed didn't give you no superpowers.

Boy, you not a part of the avengers.

Ain't no black panther up in you.

But he right.

But how?

I don't understand.

You were just high.

None of that shit was real to what you was thinkin...

Boy, just think about it.

Ow.

Shoot!

Goddamn!

Uh, that weed didn't give you no superpowers.

What the hell's he doin'?

All that other shit that you thought was happening,

- that wasn't real. - Duh.

- Yes, you were just high. - Just high.

The point is, it's not the weed.

- It's you. - It's you.

This is your destiny, boy.

It's your job, kool-aid head.

Save the weed. Yeah.

Save the weed!

Save weed?

Wait. Hold up.

If the power wasn't real, how am I talkin' to y'all two right now?

Oh.

You not talkin' to us.

It's all in your imagination.

You sittin' on the couch, high.

You smoked 30 blunts, you bum!

You bum!

- Come on, where the... come on. - Yeah. We got it.

- Come on. - 0h, yeah, it's time.

- Come on. - It's time.

- Yeah. - Get 'im.

Let it fly.

Damn.

Hey, cuz.

Did the gorilla in the cowboy hat come talk to you, too?

What? No. Baby powder did.

- What'd he say? - He said we need

to stop Ana and save the weed.

- Hm. - What'd the gorilla say?

I don't know. He was speaking Japanese.

But you know what? Baby powder is right.

We gotta stop her asap, cuz, 'cause I smoked that fye.

What happened?

My body's still actin' weird.

Yo, man, we gotta stop that leech, cuz.

And there's only one way.

Assemble a team of potheads.

Aun wild

£m on a mission and I won't stop

oh, kids!

Party's over. My dealer needs me!

Scram!

Oh, I got a text.

Hell, no. They tryna take our weed.

- The hell you got goin' on, man? - 0h, uh-uh.

Look, I'm gonna holla at y'all later. I gotta go. I'll be back, okay?

- Where are you going? - How dare you?

Baby, be your own gay best friend, here.

Don't judge me you only live once

hflomies in the back so we gotta live it up.

Shit! Boys in trouble. What... That weed need me! I be right back!

£m on a mission and I won't stop

mo destination but it's worth a shot

jou gotta let me go

somebody actually needs me.

Jou gotta let me go

j¥eah, yeah you gotta let me go

Roger?

- Thanks for comin' out. - Mm-hm.

We really need your help getting into the press event tonight.

Oh, so you just came here to ask me for help?

You're not gonna apologize for anything that you said the other day?

You called me a bum.

Actually, you called yourself that.

But if the shoe fits, sweetie, wear it.

- "If the shoe fits"? - Uh-huh.

No, I'm sorry.

Did you know your boss the one

who dried out Atlanta? - Shh!

Do you know how paranoid you sound right now?

Maybe you should stop smoking so much weed.

I'm serious!

She did it so she could sell a new weed gadget without competition.

Yo. Fye is messing people up.

I got the pictures to prove it.

Now, look. Calvin got these. These are the fye test subjects.

I... I need your help.

Okay, okay, okay. And stop. Stop, stop!

Whether it's stress at work, the bills piling up,

or the kids driving you a little crazy,

there's lots of times you wish you

could get high, but you just can't.

Until now.

Introducing fye,

the clean, safe, totally legal alternative to weed.

Take it anywhere, from the beach to the boardroom.

Fye does it all. There's no more need for weed.

Now, there's fye.

Hey. My name is blac youngsta.

And when I need a futuristic high, I smoke the fye.

Uh, c. King. Thank you.

D. Nuhz.

Now, please welcome our founder and ceq,

Ana cheever.

All right.

Thank you.

Yeah.

All right. All right. All right.

- Yeah, we did it. - You're so great!

Do you like what you saw?

You liked it?

Okay, okay.

Marijuana is a problem in our community.

And making weed legal is not the solution.

But replacing it with something better, cleaner, and safer is a solution.

And we've done just that. And it is fye.

All the weed in Atlanta is hidden somewhere in this building,

and we gotta find it.

Don't even trip. I already got somebody on it.

My cousin.

Attack, ass.

You know, when I started my company back in my dorm,

at my women's liberal arts college where I studied...

Get your ass back down.

Shit.

I et's do this.

You got it, babe.

- My vision... - Babe? She called me "babe"!

- She called me "babe"! - I heard. I heard! I heard.

Little bird houses. Other than that, my vision never...

And now let's bring the world together.

Oh.

That is not part of the presentation. Technical difficulties.

Can we get this fixed, please?

Thanks, Ana.

Hi, everyone.

My name is Calvin, and this here is my cousin, Roger.

Oh, my mic...

Can you get my mic back on, please?

And we came here today

to stop verdant from destroying one of the greatest American institutions.

Marijuana.

Can we get security up here, please?

- Chil', y'all like to see this! - Yeah!

- Get it in there. Oh, seriously. - Dude!

Chil', you oughta see all the weed they got in there.

- 0h! - That's at least a gram.

- Weed is not the problem. - Talk to 'im, cuz.

The man is the problem.

Actually, in this case, the woman...

Y'all women.

Security, please. Security, please...

Yo, we're dyin' out here. We need that smoke.

Hey, Jasper, how much longer?

I got that get it right.

The weed, gotta...

Talkin' about? Feel me?

Uh, two... two minutes?

Weed is natural. Okay?

It's not some machine that you can just plug 'em into the wall

to get a charge-up. No. No.

This woman over here is turning y'all into junkies for profit.

Fye is not fly.

Look what it did to me.

- I had nothing to do with it. - Look at it.

Yes, weed coming from my nipple! This is what fye did!

I told you not to smoke that shit!

Well, my nipples be leaking, bro.

You got that smoke. Gotta goddamn fill up

for the goddamn...

Get sucked up and go in the thing and come back.

Come on. "Real weed!"

- Real weed! - Come on, y'all!

Real weed!

Help!

Real weed!

Real...

Go, bro!

Let's get back to the presentation, shall we?

Hold up.

There's something very important I want you guys to all know about my boss,

the wonderful, caring, community-minded, super woke ceq.

Alicia, thank you.

Finally someone's talking some sense around here.

My friend Calvin, there, he actually

recorded something that you guys should see,

so, let's just go 'head and hit it. Okay.

Uh... oh.

0h, no. Wait.

No, no, no!

Okay, all right.

Oh, we didn't just buyyour weed.

We bought everybody's weed. And what we couldn't buy, well, we took that.

Well, we took that.

- Took that. - Did you hear it? You heard it?

And guess whatthe cool, refreshing answer is?

Fye.

Me, a fake? Oh, I assure you, I am 100% woke.

Dealers go to jail, but I'm gonna be rich.

You should thank me. I did you people a favor.

Oh!

Thank me. I did you people a favor.

Yup. You see? And my friends Calvin and Roger here,

they're the ones that tried to stop her.

- Yeah! - Yeah!

Hey, man, get off me, and go arrest a white woman for once! Get off of me!

You know what? I'm just gonna go.

Why's you all waitin'? You didn't wait on me.

Real weed.

Real weed! Real weed! Real weed! Real weed!

Now, to celebrate the return of weed,

please welcome blac youngsta!

Let's have a li'l party. Yeah. What's up, guys?

Jiwerk, twerk twerk d

j&girl, I wanna see you twerk

pll throw a li'l money if you twerk

jiwerk, twerk twerk d

ji you broke, go to work

make that big Booty twerk

jiwerk, twerk

pop it, stop it drop it, pop it.

Ji 1 hit Alexis skyy

pm a mother... rocket twerk, twerk d

shit I ain't got no heart

pcan't be loyal to you

jou weren't here from the start d

jiwerk, twerk

swerk

j&girl, I wanna see you twerk

pll throw a li'l money if you twerk

jiwerk, twerk damn d>

money don't walk I gotta go and get it.

Shake that Booty I'll come visit d

jf you thick, I might hit it.

Jiwerk, twerk

jan I touch that Booty?

Jphat Booty that big ol' Booty

shake that Booty can I lay on the Booty?

Mike Tyson on the Booty

jlopyright that Booty

L.off the xan we might act up

kamikaze, 'cause you know we all strapped up »

hour... she want me 'cause she seen a nigga. Stacked up

abutl can't keep her I just want to beat her. Back up.

Mow I'm in the 'rari switching lanes »

lulled up to the strip and they all know my name

yo, I'm sorry I ever doubted you.

I shoulda always knew you were ride or die.

Yeah, well, this is the best time I've had in...

Actually, I don't even know.

Me, too. Yo, so, like,

when we goin' out?

Look at you, being all assertive.

Well, you know, we did just disrupt

a multi-million-dollar corporation.

I bet you I can make you feel even better.

- 0h, you can make me feel better. - Yeah?

Yeah.

Go, dude!

My man!

I mean... yeah!

Get a room!

Dfeel good, I feel great

jlope you feel the same way

yo, two smacked. Got a ravioli nachos and a gumbo dog for ya.

Yeah.

Roger? That you?

Yo, zesto's dude!

- What's up? - What's happenin'?

Man, just sittin' here starving, bro.

I see you still out here tryna scrounge around and be a delivery boy, huh?

No, man. Actually, I own two smacked, bro. “Word!

Yeah, we just closed another round of financing,

putting our value over 150 million.

That's my whip, right there.

- That's you? - Yeah, man.

Wow. Why you out here delivering the food?

Oh, I just like staying connected to the customer.

You're the customer. I'm staying connected.

You're my last job before we go somewhere special.

My girl just got upgraded to vp, so, she earned a rest.

Ain't that right, babe?

I'm waiting, babe.

Gotta go, man. And enjoy that.

Damn.

I think I just got ate.

All night I've been watching you

ao tonight you're leaving with me

pve been waiting my whole life. To give you it all.

Let's go.

H's on now

me forever young

let's go!

Hey!

Where are we goin'?

Make this thing fly!

But we could be together forever d

but we could be together

porever and ever

lpwanna live life with you

porever and ever

jogether

forever young

me forever young

shining bright under the shining sun

like moonshine you keep it 99% with me

j'm feeling all your energy

plknow you love to vibe with me

plknow you love to ride with me

jour favorite thing tosayis d

jboy, I love when you're inside of me"

nour love is like a high to me »

plove to go out of my way to make sure you stay happy

me forever young

jfhe music's loud and I'm feeling wild

lome dance along with the golden child

I don't know much "bout you let me check your file d>

jiwo technical but you beautiful

jou grew up six brothers in a cubicle

jind they all bustin' for ya if I make the wrong move

ji I break your heart then I'm a dumb dude

jou get what you give and I'm the one who loses

but we could be together forever d

me could be together

lpwanna live life with you

porever and ever

jporever together

forever young

Pley! Hey! Hey! Hey!