Original subtitles

Helga: ARNOLD!

( barking )

HEY, ARNOLD!

( glass shatters )

( girl shrieks )

Helga: HEY, ARNOLD!

ARNOLD!

ARNOLD!

ARNOLD!

[Captioning sponsored by THE U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION

and NICKELODEON]

AR-NOLD!

MOVE IT, FOOTBALL HEAD!

Kids: HEY, ARNOLD!

( ringing... )

( kids cheering )

Gerald: VACATION, MMM, MMM, MMM.

A WHOLE ENTIRE WEEK AWAY FROM BOOKS

TEACHERS, AND...

WATCH YOUR BACK! OUT OF MY WAY!

Arnold: OOF!

NICE GOING, FOOTBALL HEAD.

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

YOU'RE THE ONE THAT PLOWED INTO ME.

THAT'S BECAUSE I'M TRAPPED HERE EVERY DAY WITH LOSERS

AND WHEN VACATION COMES, I WANT OUT OF HERE AS FAST AS I CAN.

AND ANOTHER THING, MONKEY-FACE.

THIS IS GOING TO BE THE BEST VACATION EVER

BECAUSE I'LL BE FAR, FAR AWAY FROM YOU.

MAN, ARNOLD, THAT HELGA G. PATAKI

IS ONE PERSON I WILL NEVER MISS.

I AGREE, GERALD, I DEFINITELY AGREE.

OH, ARNOLD... HOW CRUEL I AM EACH AND EVERY TIME I SEE YOU.

HOW SAVAGE... HOW BRUTALLY I LASH OUT...

AND NOW, MY LOVE... NOW I MUST LIVE WITH THE CONSEQUENCES.

I MUST SPEND AN ENTIRE WEEK APART FROM YOU

DOOMED TO RECOUNT MY MOST REGRETFUL OF BEHAVIORS.

( coughing )

Arnold: THIS WILL BE GREAT.

I CAN'T WAIT

TO GET TO THE BEACH.

AH, MY BELOVED BEACH.

I HAD SUCH FUN THERE AS A YOUNG BOY

ROMPING AROUND THE DUNES

EATING SNAILS AND SEAWEED

MAKING A SKIRT OUT OF SHELLS

AND DANCING FOR OUR MEN IN UNIFORM...

SOUNDS... GREAT, GRANDPA.

AH, THE BEACH, IT HAD SUCH A MAGICAL, ROMANTIC QUALITY.

ROMANTIC, HUH?

EHH... I JUST WANT TO FIND

A TREASURE CHEST BURIED IN THE SAND.

BURIED TREASURE? HA!

WHAT AN IMBECILE.

EVERYONE KNOWS THE BEACH IS A PLACE FOR PASSION.

YES! AND FOR LOVE!

HEY, ARNOLD, MAYBE THIS BEACH VACATION

WILL BE GOOD TO YOU, ROMANTICALLY SPEAKING, HUH?

I DON'T KNOW, MR. POTTS.

I'M NOT REALLY LOOKING TO MAKE ANY NEW FRIENDS.

I DON'T BLAME YOU, SHORT MAN.

I DON'T EVEN WANT TO SEE PEOPLE I ALREADY KNOW.

I WANT TO GET AS FAR AWAY FROM CIVILIZATION AND SHOPPING MALLS

AND TRAFFIC AND COMMERCIALITY AS POSSIBLE.

( honking, tires squealing )

THIS IS GOING TO BE GREAT, MIRIAM!

A WHOLE ENTIRE WEEK OF HANGING OUT AT THE BEACH.

AW, B., WHY DOES IT ALWAYS HAVE TO BE THE BEACH?

'CAUSE THE BEACH IS THE ONLY PLACE

I GET TO PARA-SAIL, JET-SKI, BODY-BOARD, AND WIND-SURF.

( farts )

BUT, I JUST, YOU KNOW, I HATE IT THERE SO MUCH--

WELL, WITH THE SUN AND THE SAND AND ALL THOSE LOUD, HAPPY, FROLICKING PEOPLE...

This week on Babewatch:

love and deception rock the beach.

Grandpa: AH, THERE SHE IS.

THE OLD DUPLEX HOUSE BY THE BEACH.

IT'S A BEAUT, HUH, SHORT MAN?

Ernie: WELL, WE'RE OFF TO TOWN TO MINGLE.

WANT TO JOIN US?

ACTUALLY, I'M HEADING

IN THE OPPOSITE DIRECTION

SO LONG, CIVILIZATION!

PEACE AND SOLITUDE, HERE I COME!

SO, YOU'RE GOING TO TOWN, TOO, OSKAR

AND LEAVING ME HERE ALL ALONE?

OKAY, SOUNDS GOOD TO ME.

HEY, YOU GUYS, WAIT UP!

( sighs )

LATER, DUDE.

I'M GOING TO HANG TEN

AND SHOOT THE TUNNEL...

( gulls cawing... )

Grandpa: AH... ALONE AT LAST.

NOTHING BUT ME AND THE SILENT TRANQUILLITY OF NATURE.

( horns honking, jackhammering... )

"WANT TO FIND COINS, JEWELRY AND OTHER VALUABLES ON THE BEACH?"

THAT'S RIGHT, SIR-- ONLY $9.99.

AND YOU GET TO KEEP EVERYTHING YOU FIND.

I GET TO KEEP EVERYTHING I FIND?

IT'S A DEAL.

CHECK HER OUT, HYUNH.

GO TALK TO HER.

HELLO, PRETTY BEACH LADY!

EWW...

AH, DON'T SWEAT IT, HYUNH.

I JUST REMEMBERED-- I GOT A MUCH BETTER STRATEGY.

( laughing )

KAWABUNGA...!

( horn honking )

WE'RE HERE!

HUH? WHA..? WHERE AM I? WHERE AM I?

Helga: OH, MAN, WHAT A DUMP.

Bob: SUN, SURF

AND A MOTHER LODE OF BEACH SPORTS.

THIS IS GOING TO BE THE BEST WEEK OF MY ENTIRE LIFE!

CATCH YOU LATER, MIRIAM.

ALLEY-OOP!

( sighs ) THIS IS GOING TO BE THE WORST WEEK

OF MY ENTIRE LIFE.

BOB, MIRIAM AND A SKANKY OLD SHACK

HOURS AWAY FROM ARNOLD.

HELGA?

ARNOLD?! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE, FOOTBALL HEAD?

MY GRANDPA BROUGHT US FOR THE WEEK.

TALK ABOUT A COINCIDENCE.

YEAH, WELL... DON'T GET ANY WEIRD IDEAS

ABOUT GETTING ALL CHUMMY WITH ME, HAIR BOY.

JUST 'CAUSE WE'RE

STAYING IN THE SAME HOUSE

DOESN'T MEAN WE'RE FRIENDS.

AS A MATTER OF FACT, I STILL HATE YOUR STINKING GUTS

SO YOU BETTER JUST STAY THE HECK OUT OF MY WAY! GOT IT?

FINE WITH ME, HELGA.

WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH ME?!

WHY DO I ALWAYS HAVE TO BE SUCH A JERK TO ARNOLD?

I MEAN, HERE I AM ALONE AT THE BEACH WITH THE GUY AND WHAT DO I DO?

I BARRAGE HIM WITH INSULTS AND PUSH HIM AWAY!

THAT'S IT, I AM THROUGH BEING A PSYCHOTIC FREAK.

I'M GOING DOWN THERE AND APOLOGIZE TO ARNOLD.

THEN, I'M GOING TO START BEING NICE.

THIS IS GOING TO BE THE BEST WEEK OF MY LIFE

AND NOTHING OR NOBODY IS GOING TO STAND IN MY WAY.

THAT IS A FANTASTIC SAND CASTLE.

THANKS.

MY NAME'S SUMMER. YOURS?

ARNOLD.

ARNOLD, YOU'RE AN ARTIST.

THAT'S THE BEST SAND CASTLE EVER.

YOU'D BE A SHOO-IN AT THE SAND CASTLE COMPETITION

THIS WEEKEND.

COMPETITION?

REMEMBER, HELGA, JUST STICK TO THE PLAN:

APOLOGIZE TO ARNOLD EVEN IF IT KILLS YOU. ( gasps )

THINK ABOUT IT, ARNOLD.

YOU DO AWESOME THINGS WITH SAND.

IN THE MEANTIME, SHOW ME AROUND

SINCE I'M NEW AROUND HERE.

I'VE NEVER BEEN HERE BEFORE, EITHER.

PERFECT. WE CAN EXPLORE TOGETHER.

WHAT IN THE HECK IS GOING ON HERE?!

I'M GONE TWO LOUSY MINUTES AND SOME BIMBO MOVES IN ON MY TERRITORY?

WELL, FAT CHANCE I'LL LET THAT HAPPEN.

ARNOLD'S MINE THIS VACATION.

AND NO LITTLE BEACH CHIPPIE'S GOING TO COME BETWEEN US.

STRAP ME IN AND LAUNCH ME, LITTLE LADY!

I'M SORRY, SIR, BUT OUR NEXT AVAILABLE PARA-SAIL DEPARTURE

ISN'T FOR ANOTHER 30 MINUTES.

30 MINUTES, HUH? OH, ALL RIGHT.

I'LL JUST WAIT HERE AND SOAK UP A LITTLE COLOR.

( sighs )

( snoring )

Suzie: HI!

( coughs )

OH, OH... HI.

I'M SUZIE.

I'M... MIRIAM.

I'M MIRIAM.

SO, ARE YOU ALONE, TOO?

OH, OF COURSE...

HELLO, LADIES!

YOU TWO BEAUTIFUL WOMEN

DON'T LOOK LIKE YOU'RE HAVING ANY FUN.

I COULD CHANGE THAT.

WOULD YOU LIKE TO TAKE A STIMULATING, FREE DANCE CLASS?

OH... NO...

GEE, I DON'T THINK MY HUSBAND...

I DON'T THINK

I'M UP TO IT...

DID YOU SAY STIMULATING?

( both giggle )

TRY NOT TO MOVE, SIR.

IT'LL ONLY MAKE YOUR SUNBURN WORSE.

( groaning )

( sneezes )

( screaming... )

( snoring )

UH-OH...

HELP!

( revving engine )

I THINK I FOUND OUR GUY.

EXCELLENT.

AH, THERE'S JUST SOMETHING SO RELAXING

ABOUT THE WATER, DON'T YOU THINK, ARNOLD?

YEAH, IT'S GREAT, SUMMER.

OH, I WOULDN'T GET TOO RELAXED IF I WERE YOU, HONEY.

PERFECT.

( beeping... )

THIS METAL DETECTOR WORKS GREAT!

ARE YOU SURE THIS WILL WORK?

POSITIVE, HYUNHSKI.

WHEN WOMEN SEE A GUY

BURIED UP TO HIS HEAD IN THE SAND

THEY COME OVER, IT'S ONLY NATURAL

AND THAT'S WHEN YOU START TURNING ON THE CHARM.

THAT'S HOW MY FATHER MET MY MOTHER.

NOW BURY ME.

OOH!

I WANT TO GET MY CAMERA.

I WILL BE RIGHT BACK.

ALL RIGHT, BUT MAKE IT SNAPPY.

GOOD AFTERNOON, MISS.

( gasps )

YOU'RE LOOKING

LOVELY TODAY.

EWW...

HELLO?! IS ANYONE OUT THERE?

OH, THE SILENT TRANQUILLITY OF NATURE-- IT'S DRIVING ME INSANE!

OH, LOOK. A PHONE.

HELLO? 911? THIS IS GRANDPA.

YEAH. I'M STUCK ON AN ISLAND...

HELLO? HELLO?

THEY PUT ME ON HOLD!

OH, ARNOLD...

LOBSTER IS LIKE MY ALL-TIME FAVE FOOD.

LOBSTER ISN'T GOING TO BE YOUR "FAVE FOOD" FOR LONG, PRINCESS.

( screams ) GET IT OFF ME!!

YES!

( groaning )

AAH! STINKING SUNBURN!

MIRIAM...!

HELLO? CARLOS?

UH, WE'VE COME FOR OUR FREE DANCE LESSON.

HELLO, LADIES!

( chuckles )

ARE YOU READY TO...

UNWIND?

( gasps )

OH, MY!

( beeping... )

AND THE BEACH THIEF

STOLE MY BRACELETS AND NECKLACE.

AND THE JERK STOLE MY WATCH.

DON'T PANIC, I'M ON THE CASE.

WE'LL FIND THE PERPETRATOR RIGHT AWAY.

WHERE THE HECK IS THAT HYUNH?

HEY, UH, ANYONE?

I'M BURIED UP TO MY NECK HERE!

A LITTLE HELP?

HEY, UGLY DUDE... WE'LL HELP.

WAIT, WHOA, HEY...

TIME OUT...

( muffled ): NO... NO!

Hyunh: HELLO? ERNIE?!

( muffled ): HYUNH, IS THAT YOU?

I'M UNDER THE BUCKET HERE!

HYUNH! HYUNHSKI!

HMM, ISN'T THIS AMAZING, ARNOLD?

JUST YOU AND ME... HANGING OUT TOGETHER.

YEAH, AND... EVEN THOUGH SOME CRAZY THINGS HAVE HAPPENED...

I'M STILL REALLY GLAD I MET YOU, SUMMER.

OH, ME, TOO, ARNOLD. ME, TOO.

YOU'RE JUST SO MUCH NICER THAN THE GIRLS AT MY SCHOOL.

AND WELL, THE TRUTH IS...

I REALLY LIKE YOU A LOT.

AND I REALLY LIKE YOU, ARNOLD.

THIS MAY SOUND SILLY, BUT... I'VE NEVER FELT

SO COMFORTABLE WITH A BOY BEFORE.

WELL, I WOULDN'T GET TOO COMFORTABLE, SWEETHEART.

( gulls cawing... )

( cawing louder... )

( screaming... )

ARE YOU OKAY?

I'M FINE.

( Helga laughing )

OH, THIS IS THE BEST ONE YET!

THE LOBSTER AND THE RAFT WERE PRETTY FUNNY

BUT THIS ONE, HOO-BOY, THIS ONE TAKES THE CAKE!

HELGA?!

OH! HEY, HOW'S IT GOING?

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

JUST... HAVING A SNACK.

I HEARD EVERYTHING YOU JUST SAID.

YOU DID?

YEAH, SO, IF YOU'RE THROUGH

BEING MEAN TO ME AND SUMMER FOR NO REASON AT ALL

I'D APPRECIATE IT IF YOU'D TAKE YOUR OWN ADVICE

AND JUST STAY OUT OF MY WAY. FOR GOOD.

WHO WAS THAT?

JUST ONE OF THOSE GIRLS FROM MY SCHOOL

I WAS TELLING YOU ABOUT.

( Latin dance music playing )

Suzie: OH, CARLOS...

Miriam: YOU SURE KNOW HOW TO HAVE FUN... ( laughs )

( sighs )

OH, WHY AM I SUCH AN IDIOT?

WHY AM I SUCH A SHORTSIGHTED FOOL?

WHY HAVE I ALLOWED MY CASUAL CRUELTIES

TO PUSH ARNOLD AWAY FROM ME, MAYBE FOREVER?

OH, MY DARLING-- IF ONLY YOU KNEW HOW SORRY I AM.

IF ONLY YOU KNEW HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU.

IF ONLY YOU KNEW HOW DEEPLY I REGRET ANY PAIN

I MAY HAVE AFFLICTED ON YOU AND YOUR INNOCENT, YET TRAMPY, LITTLE FRIEND SUMMER...

WAIT A MINUTE... THAT'S IT!

I'LL GO APOLOGIZE TO ARNOLD RIGHT NOW

AND EVERYTHING IN OUR DELICATE WORLD WILL BE RIGHTED ONCE AGAIN!

Summer: IT'S ALL WORKING OUT LIKE WE PLANNED.

ARNOLD THINKS I REALLY LIKE HIM.

Sandy: WHOA, HE'S, LIKE, STUPIDER THAN I EVER COULD HAVE IMAGINED.

THE KID'S AN IDIOT!

I'LL FLIRT WITH HIM ONE MORE DAY

THEN GET HIM TO AGREE TO BUILD ME

A KILLER SAND CASTLE AT THE BEACH FESTIVAL.

WE'LL EASILY WIN FIRST PLACE.

THEN YOU'LL DUMP ARNOLD AND BE ON BABEWATCH.

YOUR ACTING CAREER SKYROCKETS, AND I'LL MANAGE YOU.

RIGHT.

OH, MY DEAR, CHERISHED, NAIVE ARNOLD

I CAN'T STAND IDLY BY AND LET YOU BE EATEN ALIVE

BY SUMMER'S MOST SADISTIC OF PLANS.

I MUST TAKE ACTION.

I MUST GO TO YOU RIGHT AWAY.

I MUST RIGHT TO HIM WHOM I HAVE SO WRONGED!

PLUS, BABEWATCH IS MY FANTASY.

Helga: ARNOLD! PSST!

ARNOLD!

OPEN UP!

IT'S IMPORTANT!

WHAT DO YOU WANT, HELGA?

I WANT TO APOLOGIZE, ARNOLD.

I WAS BEING MEAN TO YOU AND SUMMER FOR NO REASON AT ALL.

BUT IT'S OKAY.

IT IS?

IT'S PERFECTLY FINE BECAUSE I JUST HEARD SUMMER TALKING

AND IT TURNS OUT SHE'S NOT WHAT SHE SEEMS!

SHE'S NOT?

NO, ARNOLD.

SHE'S ACTUALLY EVIL.

SHE'S GOT THIS WHOLE CRAZY PLOT AGAINST YOU!

GIVE IT UP, HELGA.

BUT I'M TELLING YOU THE TRUTH!

SUMMER IS A MONSTER, ARNOLD.

A HORRIBLE, SCHEMING MONSTER!

SURE SHE IS. I GOT TO GO.

NO, ARNOLD, WAIT... CRIMINEY!

I'VE GOT TO MAKE HIM LISTEN TO ME!

OH, ARNOLD... WE'VE HAD SUCH AN INCREDIBLE WEEK, HAVEN'T WE?

HEY, I KNOW THE PERFECT WAY TO CAPTURE IT. COME ON!

Helga: PSST, ARNOLD!

DON'T LISTEN TO HER!

SHE'S A LIAR! SHE'S JUST USING YOU...

I SWEAR, SHE'S UP TO NO GOOD!

SHE'S A MAN-EATER!

WHA...? WHOA... !

( groans ) MOTHER, MAY I!

OH, HI! HOW WERE ALL YOUR WATER SPORTS, B.?

OH, MY, OH, MY, YOU LOOK ALL ROSY.

THAT'S BECAUSE I'M SUNBURNED, MIRIAM!

WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN, ANYWAY?

OH, B., YOU WON'T BELIEVE IT.

I MEAN, ONE MINUTE I'M SULKING IN THE HOUSE

AND THE NEXT MINUTE, I'M HAVING THE TIME OF MY LIFE!

I LEARNED THE SAMBA, THE MAMBO

THE R-R-R-RUMBA... AND NOW...

I'M GOING TO MEET CARLOS AND SUZIE FOR BREAKFAST

AND A WATUSI LESSON!

WHOA, WHOA, WHOA... CARLOS? WATUSI?

I'LL SEE YOU LATER, B. BUH-BYE!

NO, NO, WAIT! I-I NEED YOU, MIRIAM. MIRIAM!

AAH... OH! MOTHER OF PEARL!

( Summer chuckles ) SMILE, ARNOLD.

OH, I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE WHAT THEY LOOK LIKE, ARNOLD.

ESPECIALLY THAT LAST ONE.

YOU'VE GOT TO BELIEVE ME!

SHE'S CONNIVING... SHE'S JUST BEING NICE

SO YOU'LL FALL INTO HER EVIL WEB OF DECEIT...

WOULD YOU GET OUT OF HERE?!

PERFECT. COME ON, ARNOLD.

LET'S GO PRACTICE MAKING SAND CASTLES.

OH, IT'S BEAUTIFUL, ARNOLD.

NOW, ALL IT NEEDS IS A LITTLE SOMETHING ON TOP...

OOH, ARNOLD, LOOK AT THIS.

SUMMER, WILL WE EVER SEE EACH OTHER AFTER THIS WEEK?

OH, ARNOLD, OF COURSE.

WHAT WE HAVE IS SO STRONG AND SO DEEP

THAT NO ONE OR NOTHING

CAN EVER TAKE IT AWAY FROM US.

Sandy: WHOA...

KILLER SAND CASTLE.

THANKS. WE'RE THINKING OF SIGNING UP

FOR TOMORROW'S COMPETITION, RIGHT?

UH, I DON'T KNOW...

COME ON, YOU'RE...

REALLY GOOD, MAN.

( whispers ): DON'T LISTEN TO THEM!

THEY JUST WANT YOU TO WIN

SO SUMMER CAN BE ON BABEWATCH.

STOP IT, HELGA-- YOU'RE ACTING LIKE A CRAZY PERSON!

ARNOLD, I DON'T WANT TO SEE YOU GET HURT.

FOR YOUR OWN SAKE

DON'T SIGN UP FOR THAT SAND CASTLE COMPETITION WITH SUMMER.

SO WHAT DO YOU SAY, ARNOLD?

LET'S DO IT.

OH, ARNOLD, YOU POOR DELUDED FOOL.

( wind blowing )

OH...

OW, OW, OOF, OOF...

WHOA, FREE AT LAST.

IT WAS GETTING PRETTY CLAMMY IN THERE.

OH, NO... NO!

WHOA, FEELS LIKE I'M SITTING ON A STONE OR SOMETHING.

OH... OH... AH, THAT'S BETTER.

HELLO, ERNIE?!

( groaning )

ERNIE?!

KAWABUNGA! ( laughing )

WELL, WHEN IN ROME...

( all gasp )

( screaming )

SO, THIS IS HOW IT'S ALL GOING TO END FOR ME?

ON AN ISLAND PARADISE?

OH, THE IRONY...

OH, I SEE THE WHITE LIGHT, AND...

I SEE MY ANCESTORS.

HELLO! HELLO! IT'S ME-- GRANDPA!

WHAT'S THAT YOU'RE SAYING?

YOU'VE COME TO... QUACK, QUACK?

YOU'RE NOT MY ANCESTORS.

YOU'RE DUCKS.

CAN YOU HELP ME, DUCKS?

( quacking )

EH, MON, I THINK

HE TALKING TO THE DUCK.

HEY, OLD MON, WHAT YOU DOING TALKING TO THE DUCK?

ARE YOU MY ANCESTORS?

DID THE DUCKS SEND YOU?

UH, RIGHT, MON, THE DUCK DONE SENT US.

DO YOU NEED A RIDE HOME, BROTHER?

OH, YOU'RE A BRAVE MAN... IT'S TOO FAR...

WE'RE CUT OFF FROM HUMANITY...

IT'S RIGHT THERE, MON.

HOP IN.

OH, I'M SAVED!

TAKE ME BACK TO CIVILIZATION

AND PEOPLE AND CROWDS!

( Grandpa laughing )

I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE! I HATE THE BEACH!

I'M GOING TO GET MIRIAM AND THE GIRL AND GET THE HECK OUT OF DODGE...

EVEN IF IT KILLS ME! AAH!

THANKS AGAIN FOR SAVING ME, FELLAS.

OH, AND THANKS FOR THE STUPID, DOPE, FLY HAT.

Grandma: UP THE ESTABLISHMENT!

OH, POOKIE!

NOBODY WANTS

TO SEE THAT!

( grunting and groaning )

( screaming )

ARNOLD, ARNOLD!

FORGET IT, HELGA.

I'M WAITING FOR SUMMER.

SHE'S OVER HERE.

Sandy: HE DOESN'T HAVE A CLUE?

ARNOLD? NO WAY.

HE'S PATHETIC.

HE'S LOVES ME.

HE'D BUILD ME FIVE SAND CASTLES.

BUT WE JUST NEED ONE, BABY.

I KNOW. ONE SAND CASTLE; FIRST PRIZE;

I TOTALLY BLOW OFF ARNOLD

AND GET TO BE ON BABEWATCH.

THIS PLAN WORKED OUT SO PERFECTLY.

I'M SORRY, ARNOLD.

YOU WERE RIGHT THE WHOLE TIME, HELGA.

Summer: OH... ARNOLD...

THERE YOU ARE.

READY TO BUILD OUR SAND CASTLE?

FORGET IT, SUMMER, I'M ON TO YOU.

I KNOW YOU THINK I'M PATHETIC

AND I KNOW YOU'VE BEEN LYING.

ARNOLD, I, I...

I JUST HEARD YOU

AND THAT SANDY GUY.

YOU WERE USING ME.

BUT...

I'M NOT BUILDING

ANY SAND CASTLE WITH YOU, EVER.

GOODBYE, SUMMER.

GOOD-BYE, AUTUMN, IT'S BEEN A BLAST.

TOO BAD YOUR EVIL PLAN FELL FLAT ON ITS FACE.

SORRY I DIDN'T LISTEN TO YOU.

YOU WERE JUST TRYING TO BE MY FRIEND.

YEAH, WELL, I FIGURED IT WAS THE RIGHT THING TO DO.

I MEAN, SHE WAS TAKING ADVANTAGE OF YOU, AND I COULDN'T JUST...

HEY, WHAT'RE WE STANDING HERE FOR?! WE'RE WASTING TIME!

WE'VE GOT A SAND CASTLE COMPETITION TO WIN! COME ON!

( beeping, clank )

IS THIS THE GUY? THE BEACH THIEF?

UH-UH, YEAH...

HE LOOKS LIKE A BAD ONE TO ME...

( beeping, groaning )

SIR, CAN YOU KINDLY STEP ASIDE?

OH, WELL, CERTAINLY, BUT I THINK I'LL NEED

A COUPLE OF YOU FELLOWS TO HELP ME GET UP HERE.

( groaning )

AH! OH! AH!

IT'S ABOUT TIME!

ERNIE!

I WAS SO WORRIED ABOUT YOU!

ARE YOU OKAY?

A LITTLE WOOZY

AND MY BLADDER'S PRETTY FULL

BUT I'M FINE.

GOOD THING I GOT

THIS STEEL PLATE IN MY HEAD, HUH, KID?

AREN'T YOU GOING TO THANK ME

MY DEAR TINY FRIEND ERNIE?

I WAS LOOKING ALL OVER FOR YOU WITH MY METAL DETECTOR.

IS THAT WHAT YOU WERE DOING?

ABSOLUTELY!

IN THAT CASE, YOU'RE BOTH HEROES!

( crowd cheers )

OH, HEY, B.!

WHERE YOU BEEN?!

OH, BY THE WAY, YOU WERE RIGHT.

THE BEACH IS INCREDIBLE.

I WANT TO COME BACK HERE NEXT YEAR.

THERE ISN'T GOING TO BE A NEXT YEAR, MIRIAM.

WE'RE NEVER COMING BACK TO THIS FORSAKEN DUMP!

WE'RE LEAVING RIGHT NOW!

OH, B., YOU'RE SUCH A KIDDER!

( screams )

( blasts horn )

HEY, THAT SAND JUST WENT IN MY EYE.

OH, QUIT WHINING...

AND THE WINNERS OF THIS YEAR'S SAND CASTLE COMPETITION ARE ARNOLD AND HELGA!

CONGRATULATIONS, GUYS!

( applause )

FOR FIRST PRIZE, BOTH OF YOU WILL APPEAR

ON THE HIT TV SHOW BABEWATCH, FILMED RIGHT HERE

ON OUR BEACH!

THAT'S RIGHT!

ME, I'M THE WINNING GIRL.

( crying )

IT'LL BE ALL RIGHT. OW!

( Baywatch -like theme playing... )

AND ACTION!

( gasping... )

MOVE OVER, BARBIE!

I'VE GOT THIS ONE.

MMM...

Director: AND... CUT!

I SAID CUT.

YOUNG LADY, WE'VE GOT THIS SHOT.

PLEASE CUT.

ALL RIGHT, KILL THOSE LIGHTS.

( Baywatch -like theme playing... )

[Captioning sponsored by THE U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION

and NICKELODEON