Original subtitles

Helga: ARNOLD!

( barking )

HEY, ARNOLD!

( glass shatters )

( girl shrieks )

Helga: HEY, ARNOLD!

ARNOLD!

ARNOLD!

ARNOLD!

[Captioning sponsored by THE U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION

and NICKELODEON]

AR-NOLD!

MOVE IT, FOOTBALL HEAD!

Kids: HEY, ARNOLD!

AH, THE LAST GOOD WEEKEND OF INDIAN SUMMER, ARNOLD.

THE LEAVES ARE TURNING, THE BASS ARE BITING

AND I'M ABOUT TO GO FISHING

WITH MY FAVORITE GRANDSON.

I'M YOUR ONLY GRANDSON.

UH-HUH... YOU AND ME, ARNOLD

NOTHING'S GONNA STAND IN OUR WAY.

MITZI!

ARE YOU GONNA

CATCH FLIES

OR TAKE MY BAG?

I... I... WE... WE...

THIS MUST BE ARNOLD.

HOW DO YOU DO, KID? I'M MITZI.

YEAH, FINE, NICE TO MEET YOU, TOO.

WE'RE JUST LEAVING...

I'LL LET MYSELF IN.

WHERE'S GERTI?

YOU STILL MARRIED?

IS SHE STILL ALIVE?

GRANDPA, WHO'S MITZI?

I'M HIS SISTER.

YOU HAVE A SISTER?

WE'RE TWINS.

I'M THE OLDEST BY SIX MINUTES

SO THAT MAKES ME HIS BIG SISTER.

AIN'T THAT RIGHT, PHIL?

UH... GREAT AUNT MITZI?

CALL ME AUNT MITZI

IT MAKES ME SOUND YOUNGER.

DID YOU GROW UP IN THE BOARDING HOUSE, TOO?

SURE DID. ONLY IT WAS A LOT NICER BACK THEN.

LOOKS LIKE PHIL HERE HAS LET THE PLACE GO TO POT.

YOU GOT THAT RIGHT, LADY.

THIS JOINT'S A REGULAR FLEA BAG.

YES, IT IS FALLING APART.

HOW COME I'VE NEVER MET YOU BEFORE?

DO YOU LIVE A LONG WAY AWAY?

I LIVE RIGHT IN TOWN.

PHIL AND I HAVEN'T SPOKEN FOR...

70 YEARS.

71, BUT WHO'S COUNTING?

IT'S 70.

NICE OF YOU TO POINT THAT OUT

BUT ENOUGH SMALL TALK.

LET'S CALL A SPADE A SPADE.

YOU HATE ME AND I HATE YOU

SO WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

I WANT TO GET TO KNOW ARNOLD.

HE'S MY RELATIVE, TOO, YOU KNOW.

HE SEEMS TO BE A VERY NICE BOY

IN SPITE OF HIS UPBRINGING.

YEAH, HE IS. NOW WHEN ARE YOU LEAVING?

WHO SAID ANYTHING ABOUT LEAVING? I'M HERE TO STAY.

( sputtering )

STAY?

THAT'S RIGHT.

THIS HOUSE IS AS MUCH MINE AS IT IS YOURS.

I HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO LIVE HERE.

WHY, THAT'S WONDERFUL, MITZI.

YOU CAN SLEEP IN OUR BEDROOM.

OUR BEDROOM?!

WE'LL HAVE A SLEEPOVER

JUST LIKE WHEN WE WERE GIRLS.

( both laughing )

JUST A SECOND.

WHERE AM I GONNA SLEEP?

DOGGONNIT... THOUGHT I WAS GOING FISHING

GIVING UP MY OWN BED

SO MY INCREDIBLY IRRITATING SISTER CAN HOG IT

AND STINK UP ALL THE PILLOWS WITH HER SMELLY EAU DU TOILETTE.

YOU'LL WORK SOMETHING OUT.

OH, WE'LL WORK SOMETHING OUT, ALL RIGHT.

I'LL WORK HER RIGHT OUT THE FRONT DOOR.

YOU'D THROW OUT YOUR OWN SISTER?

I HAVE NO SISTER.

AS FAR AS I'M CONCERNED, SHE'S DEAD TO ME.

GRANDPA, YOU'RE NOT EVEN MAKING SENSE.

LOOK, ARNOLD, I HAVEN'T SPOKEN TO HER SINCE NOVEMBER 13, 1927.

WHAT HAPPENED ON NOVEMBER 13, 1927?

I HAVE NO IDEA. GO TO SLEEP.

YOU HAVE TO START SPEAKING TO HER.

SHE'S MOVING IN WITH US-- SHE SAID SO.

YEAH, SHE DID SAY THAT.

SO, I GUESS THAT MEANS THERE'S ONLY ONE THING I CAN DO.

MAKE PEACE?

P... NO!

HAVE YOU LISTENED

TO A WORD I'VE SAID?

I'VE GOT TO GET HER TO CHANGE HER MIND

ABOUT MOVING IN.

THAT'S RIGHT, ARNOLD.

COME TOMORROW, IT'S ALL OUT WAR.

( hammering... )

( laughing )

( thunder-like sound )

WHAT THE...

( shrieking )

( laughing )

( whistling )

OH, UNUSUAL WEATHER WE'RE HAVING.

BEEN MEANING TO FIX THAT ROOF. ( chuckles )

OH, I WOULDN'T TRY TO USE THE SHOWER IF I WERE YOU.

WATER HEATER'S BROKEN.

YOU CAN TAKE A COLD SITZ BATH

IN THE BIDET, THOUGH...

IN THE BASEMENT!

HAVE IT YOUR WAY, SMART GUY!

( chuckles ) FELL FOR IT. WHAT A SAP!

IF YOU NEED ME, I'LL BE IN THE SHOWER, ARNOLD.

♪ OH, YOU BEAUTIFUL DOLL ♪

♪ YOU GREAT BIG BEAUTIFUL DOLL... ♪

AH! OH, IT'S HOT!

AH... OH, IT'S COLD!

( laughing )

WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU DOING?

OH, JUST SETTING OUT THE TRAPS AGAIN

LIKE I DO EVERY MORNING.

WE'VE GOT A REAL RAT PROBLEM, YOU KNOW.

YOU DON'T SAY.

OH, YES, BIG ONES WITH LITTLE TINY YELLOW TEETH.

EEK! PHIL, GET IN HERE QUICK!

WHAT IN THE...

AH! OW! OH! OW...!

HELLO, BOYS.

WHAT WAS ALL THAT RACKET?

OH, JUST THE MOUSETRAPS.

MOUSETRAPS? ARE THERE MICE IN THE BOARDING HOUSE?

NO MICE, JUST A BIG, FAT RAT.

( Grandpa continues yelling )

NOT A WORD FROM ANY OF YOU.

( laughter )

Mr. Hyunh: TELL US MORE EMBARRASSING STORIES.

WELL, BILL WAS ONLY PARTIALLY TOILET-TRAINED AT THAT POINT...

COME ON, GRANDPA, THESE ARE PRETTY FUNNY STORIES.

SHE'LL BE LAUGHING OUT OF THE OTHER SIDE HER MOUTH SOON.

WHAT?

I PUT LAXATIVE

IN HER YAMS.

WHAT?!

SHH...

OH, FINISHED ALREADY, MITZI?

HERE, HAVE SOME MORE YAMS.

NO THANKS, GERTIE.

I ACTUALLY DON'T CARE FOR YAMS.

I GAVE ALL OF MINE TO PHIL.

I PUT THEM ON YOUR PLATE

WHILE YOU WEREN'T LOOKING.

THAT'S IT, MITZI, THE FINAL STRAW!

I HAVE HAD IT UP TO HERE WITH YOU.

THIS IS MY HOUSE AND I SAY THAT...

( stomach gurgles )

OH, BOY...

( stomach gurgles )

OH, BOY...

HOLD THAT THOUGHT... EXCUSE ME.

( toilet flushing )

( Grandpa moaning )

NIGHTY-NIGHT, PHIL.

SLEEP WELL.

( moans )

FEELING ANY BETTER?

GET LITTLE ATTACKS ONCE IN A WHILE, OTHERWISE I'M FINE.

WHAT'S THAT?

MITZI'S DOOMSDAY DEVICE.

MITZI'S DOOMSDAY DEVICE?

ALL THIS TIME I'VE BEEN THINKING TOO SMALL, ARNOLD.

EVERYTHING I'VE TRIED SO FAR SHE'S TURNED IT RIGHT BACK ON ME.

WELL, I GOT TO THINK BIG, SEE?

I GOT TO INVENT SOME KIND OF CONTRAPTION

THAT'S GONNA FIX HER GOOD.

OH, YEAH, FIX HER BUT GOOD.

OKAY, GRANDPA...

SOUNDS GREAT.

GET SOME REST, OKAY?

( muttering... )

Mitzi: NIGHT-NIGHT, ARNOLD.

GOODNIGHT, AUNT MITZI.

( fly buzzing )

GRANDMA, I'VE GOT A PROBLEM.

SHH, I'M CLOSING IN

FOR THE KILL.

I'M WORRIED ABOUT GRANDPA AND MITZI

I REALLY LIKE HER AND I KNOW YOU DO TO.

BUT GRANDPA JUST CAN'T STAND HER.

HE HATES HER SO MUCH I'M AFRAID HE'LL DO SOMETHING DRASTIC.

I JUST DON'T GET WHY.

ARNOLD, THE THING TO REMEMBER

IN TIMES LIKE THESE

IS TO KEEP YOUR NERVE

COOLLY APPROACH YOUR PREY

TAKE AIM, THEN STRIKE.

AND LOOK ON THE TOP SHELF

IN THE PARLOR NEXT TO THE CACTUS.

POOTER?

( clattering and crashing )

( man yelling )

( yelps )

OH, IT'S ONLY YOU, SHORT MAN.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

IT'S ALL READY.

WHAT'S READY?

MITZI'S DOOMSDAY DEVICE.

COME ON, I'LL SHOW YOU.

CAREFUL WHERE YOU STEP.

SEE, WHEN MITZI OPENS HER BEDROOM DOOR

THIS BUCKET WILL POUR COLD WATER ONTO HER

AND SHE'LL JUMP SIDEWAYS ONTO THIS IRONING BOARD

WHICH WILL BEND BACK ON THIS SPRING

AND JETTISON HER OUT THE WINDOW INTO A HORNETS' NEST.

GRANDPA, YOU CAN'T JETTISON AUNT MITZI

OUT OF THE SECOND FLOOR WINDOW.

SURE I CAN-- I ALREADY TESTED IT ON OSKAR

AND HE'S THE SAME WEIGHT.

GRANDPA, THIS IS CRAZY.

THERE'S GOT TO BE A BETTER WAY

TO WORK OUT YOUR PROBLEMS.

I CAN'T STAND HER, ARNOLD!

THERE'S ONLY ROOM FOR ONE OF US

IN THE BOARDING HOUSE.

I'VE GOT TO GET RID OF HER.

I BET THERE WAS A TIME WHEN YOU LOVED EACH OTHER.

NOW, HOW WOULD YOU KNOW?

MITZI AND I NEVER AGREED ABOUT ANYTHING.

OH, YEAH? WHAT ABOUT POOTER?

AW... LOOK, IT'S POOTER.

AND MITZI.

NAH, MUST BE ANOTHER KID.

COME ON, GRANDPA, THAT'S MITZI.

LOOK AT THE TWO OF YOU.

LOOK HOW HAPPY YOU WERE TOGETHER.

YOU LOOK LIKE YOU GOT ALONG GREAT.

OH, MY OLD MUTT, POOTER.

WHAT A WONDERFUL DOG.

SMART AS A WHIP.

WE TOOK HIM EVERYWHERE.

THROWING STICKS IN THE PARK UNTIL IT WAS TOO DARK TO SEE ANYMORE.

AND GIVING HIM BATHS IN THE BACKYARD.

AND TAKING HIM TO THE SEASHORE.

REMEMBER HOW WE USED TO GAS UP THE CAR

ON THE WAY BACK FROM THE BEACH

AND DAD WOULD SAY

Both: "JUMPING JEHOSHAPHAT, WHO LET ONE?!" YEAH...

WHATEVER HAPPENED TO HIM?

WELL, WE KEPT HIM

IN THE BACKYARD, AND ONE DAY HE GOT OUT

AND PHIL AND I WENT OUT LOOKING FOR HIM.

Grandpa: WE LOOKED ALL OVER THE NEIGHBORHOOD, CALLING HIS NAME UNTIL DARK.

Mitzi: AND WHEN WE FINALLY FOUND HIM, HE'D BEEN HIT BY A MILK TRUCK.

Grandpa: WE TOOK HIM TO THE VET BUT THEY COULDN'T HELP HIM.

THEY HAD TO PUT HIM TO SLEEP

ON NOVEMBER 13...

1927.

IT WAS YOUR FAULT, PHIL!

YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO FIX THAT GAP IN THE FENCE!

I DID FIX THE FENCE!

YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO FILL IN THAT HOLE!

I DID FILL IN THE HOLE. IT WASN'T MY FAULT.

WELL, IT WASN'T MY FAULT, EITHER.

GRANDPA, AUNT MITZI...

IT SOUNDS LIKE AN ACCIDENT.

POOTER JUST GOT AWAY.

NEITHER OF YOU COULD HAVE DONE ANYTHING.

IT WASN'T ANYONE'S FAULT.

YOU BOTH LOVED THAT DOG

AND IT SOUNDS LIKE YOU

WERE REALLY HURT WHEN YOU LOST HIM.

YEAH, SO MUCH SO THAT WE

STOPPED TALKING TO EACH OTHER FOR 70 YEARS.

71.

COME ON, YOU GUYS.

AW, MITZI, I'M SORRY FOR BEING SO MEAN

AND TRYING TO GET RID OF YOU.

AND I'M SORRY FOR TELLING ALL THOSE EMBARRASSING STORIES.

LOOK, MITZI, IF YOU WANT TO STAY HERE, YOU CAN STAY.

GEE, PHIL, YOU REALLY MEAN THAT?

YEP! YOU STAY AS LONG AS YOU WANT... SIS.

HA! ARE YOU KIDDING?

I'D NEVER MOVE INTO THIS FLEA BAG.

I JUST WANTED TO HEAR YOU ACTUALLY INVITE ME.

NOW THAT YOU HAVE, I'M READY TO GO HOME.

I'LL GET PACKING.

OH, MITZI, WAIT!

IT'S A TRAP!

( clattering, Grandpa yelling )

( hornets buzzing )

OW! OW! IT'S ME! NO, OW...!

WELL, LET'S GO PULL THE OLD BOY

OUT OF THE HORNET'S NEST.

( yelling and cheering... )

HEY, ARNIE!

COACH WITTENBERG?

I SAW YOU SWIMMING THERE

SITUATIONALLY SPEAKING.

YOU GUYS LOOK LIKE YOU KNOW

WHAT YOU'RE DOING, AND, UH...

UH, EXCUSE US.

ARNOLD, EVERY TIME WE TALK TO THAT GUY

HE WANTS US TO JOIN SOME CRAZY TEAM.

GERALD, RELAX-- I AM NOT GONNA VOLUNTEER US TO BE ON SOME CRAZY TEAM.

BOYS, I WANT YOU TO JOIN THIS CRAZY TEAM OF MINE.

HAVE ANY OF YOU DONE MUCH SYNCHRONASTIC SWIMMING?

OH, YOU MEAN SYNCHRONIZED SWIMMING.

IT'S A CREATIVE WATER SPORT

IN WHICH A TEAM OF FOUR OR MORE SYNCHRONIZE

OR MATCH THEIR MOVEMENTS TO THE RHYTHM OF MUSIC.

SOUNDS HARDER THAN I THOUGHT... IRREGARDLESS

I AGREED TO ORGANIZE

A SYNCRATIC SWIMMING TEAM

FOR THE UPCOMING CITYWIDE TOURNAMENT.

AND FARTHERMORE

SINCE YOU BOYS HAVE BEEN

A COLOSSIC TEAM FOR ME TO COACH IN THE PAST...

NO BALLET DANCING IN THE WATER FOR ME.

ME NEITHER.

COUNT ME OUT.

IT'S A DUMB, STUPID IDEA.

ACTUALLY, I CAN'T WAIT

FOR THE FIRST PRACTICE.

Coach: COME ON, YOU GUYS, IT'S JUST ONE SWIM MEET.

PLEASE, PLEASE, GUYS, DON'T RUN OUT ON ME.

I'M AT THE END OF MY ROPE.

THIS IS THE LAST COACHING JOB IN THE CITY.

IF I SCREW THIS UP, I MAY NEVER COACH AGAIN.

COME ON, GUYS, WILL YOU HELP ME?

HEY, I'M CLIMBING THE HIGH DIVE AND I DON'T KNOW HOW TO SWIM.

I'M JUMPING, I'M JUMPING ON THREE.

I THINK HE'S REALLY GONNA JUMP.

ONE, TWO...

OH, MAN.

IT WON'T BE THAT BAD.

REMEMBER WHEN WE WERE ON HIS BASKETBALL TEAM?

WE HAD A PRETTY GOOD TIME.

IT'S ONLY FOR ONE TOURNAMENT.

HERE GOES...

WAIT, COACH, DON'T JUMP!

Harold: WE'LL JOIN

YOUR STUPID TEAM.

YOU WILL?

THAT'S GREAT, BOYS,

I'M VERY THANKFUL

AND DEPRECIATIVE OF YOUR DEDICATION

TO OUR SWIM TEAM.

FIRST PRACTICE IS MONDAY AFTER SCHOOL!

I WANT EVERYBODY ON TIME!

AND SHAVE YOUR LEGS.

BYE, COACH.

I WAS PRETTY NERVOUS, ARNIE.

I DIDN'T THINK THE "I CAN'T SWIM

I'M GONNA JUMP" THING WOULD WORK.

Woman: SO, YOU HAD TO STOOP

TO THE OLD "I CAN'T SWIM, I'M GONNA JUMP" TRICK

TO GET A SYNCAFATED SWIMMING TEAM TOGETHER, HUH, COACH?

OH, YOU STOOPED BEFORE, BUT YOU HIT THE PENULTIMATE LOW THIS TIME, JACK.

YOU ARE GONNA COACH A SYMPATHETIC SWIMMING TEAM?

DARN RIGHT I AM, TISH.

AND WE'LL BE 'A' LETTER ONE WINNERS

AT THE TOURNAMENT NEXT WEEKEND.

IN YOUR DREAMS.

LET ME TELL YOU A WELL-KEPT POPULAR FACT.

WATER BALLET'S NOT A REAL SPORT, JACK.

IT'S AN ARTSY-FARTSY BEAUTY CONTEST.

YOU GOT TO BE SENSITIVE AND EMOTIONAL

TO RENDER IT CORRECTLY.

I REPRESENT ALL YOU'RE SAYING!

I KNOW YOU, COACH.

YOU'RE NOT IN TOUCH WITH YOUR

ARTISTICAL INTERIOR THOUGHT PATTERNS.

I'LL SHOW YOU, TISH.

I'M GONNA SUCCEED BEYOND MY UNWIELDIEST DREAMS!

SURE YOU WILL, COACH.

WATER BALLET-- HA!

SEE YOU AT DINNER.

NEVER GET MARRIED.

Coach: THE BASIC TENDENCIES OF THIS SPORT

ARE FOREMOSTLY, UM...

GRACE, RHYTHM, AND ACROBATIC SKILLS.

NOW I HALFHEARTEDLY BELIEVE WE REPOSSESS THE SKILLS

TO CONSUMMATE A WINNING STATUS HEREIN.

TWO, FOUR, SIX, EIGHT... LET'S GET IN THE POOL!

UM, I DON'T KNOW, COACH.

THAT LOOKS LIKE SISSY STUFF.

I DON'T GET WHY MAKING A FLOWER SHAPE WITH YOUR LEGS IS FUN.

IT'S ALL AN EXCITING CHALLENGE, DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND?

I SAY IT'S SISSY, AND THAT'S ALL THERE IS TO IT!

ENOUGH OF THIS SISSY TALK!

LET'S HIT THE POOL!

( blows whistle )

NOW, FIRSTLY, LET'S GET ON OUR BACKS

AND SEE IF WE CAN FLOAT.

STINKY, ON YOUR BACK.

THAT'S YOUR FRONT.

NOW... LIFT ONE LEG IN THE AIR.

GOOD!

NOW... EVERYBODY, BACKSTROKE!

AND TRY NOT TO RUN INTO EACH OTHER.

( clunk )

PERFECT.

( no dialogue... )

BOYS, WE'VE MADE LARGE STEPS OF PROGRESSIVE MOVEMENT

IN PRACTICING THE SPORT OF CIRCUMCISED SWIMMING, AND NOW WE'RE READY

TO ADAPTATE THE SECRENISTIC MOVEMENTS TO MUSIC.

ANY OF YOU GOT ANY IDEAS FOR MUSIC?

I DO.

( music thumping )

A FIVE, SIX, SEVEN, EIGHT!

HIGH KICK! GO!

NOW, JUST PRETEND YOU'RE IN THE WATER.

NO, BOOTLEG, BOOTLEG!

GO WIDE, NO, NO, NO.

NO, NO, NO, NO, BE DAINTY, DAINTY, D...

DANCE BETTER!

WILLIKERS, I RECKON THIS IS

AS EMBARRASSING AS IT GETS.

THE ONLY WAY IT COULD POSSIBLY GET WORSE

IS IF SOMEONE WE KNEW SAW US.

AW, THIS IS MY LUCKY DAY. ( laughs )

THIS IS SO TOTALLY EXCELLENT!

HEY, LOSERS!

HA! HEY, I GOT YOUR WHOLE LITTLE SISSY DANCE ON TAPE!

YOU, GET OUT OF HERE NOW!

PRESENTLY AND IMMEDIATELY!

OH, YEAH, WAIT TILL THE GANG GETS A LOAD OF THIS!

THAT'S IT, COACH.

THIS WHOLE THING IS OVER.

WE HATE THIS MUSIC.

WE DON'T KNOW WHAT

THIS SYNCHRONIZED SWIMMING'S ABOUT.

AND FRANKLY, WE DON'T THINK

YOU KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING.

AND I'M TIRED OF BEING CALLED A FRUITCUP

AND A SISSYBONED FAT BOY!

UH, HAROLD, NO ONE'S CALLED YOU THAT.

I KNOW, BUT... THEY'LL THINK OF IT AND CALL ME IT.

BOYS! GET BACK HERE AND DANCE!

WHO WAS I KIDDING?

TISH WAS RIGHT.

I CAN'T BE EMOTIONAL

AND SENSITIVE AND ALL THAT JAZZ.

I DON'T HAVE A SENSITIVE BONE IN MY SAD BODY

AND IF I CAN'T BE SENSITIVE

HOW CAN I INSPIRE MY TEAM TO BE SENSITIVE?

EVERYONE HAS SOME SENSITIVITY.

EVERYONE EXCEPT ME, ARNIE.

I THINK I'LL JUST GIVE UP

AND TRY TO GET MY LOUSY TOILET CLEANING JOB BACK

AT THE LOUSY BOWLING ALLEY.

YOU CAN'T GIVE UP.

YOU'VE GOT TO FIND YOUR SENSITIVE SIDE

AND INSPIRE THE TEAM.

I CAN'T, ARNIE.

HAVEN'T YOU EVER FELT

SENSITIVE OR EMOTIONAL ABOUT ANYTHING?

NO.

COME ON, COACH.

THERE HAS TO BE SOMETHING.

HASN'T ANYTHING EVER TOUCHED YOU

OR MADE YOU CRY?

HMM... LET ME SEE.

YOU KNOW, THIS IS HARD.

WELL, THERE WAS THIS DRIVE-IN MOVIE

I SAW WHEN I WAS A KID.

I WAS IN THE BACK SEAT WITH MY LITTLE BROTHER.

IT WAS ABOUT A LITTLE REDHEADED BOY AND HIS HORSE, WAYNE.

HE LOVED THAT HORSE.

AND WHEN THAT MAN RODE AWAY ON THAT HORSE

AND THE BOY RAN AFTER THEM

SHOUTING, "WAYNE, WAYNE, COME BACK, WAYNE"

I MEAN, I CRIED.

I CRIED... ( sniffling ) AND I CRIED

AND I CRIED WITH MY LITTLE BROTHER

WHO BAWLED LIKE A BABY.

WE CRIED TOGETHER

AND SAID, "WAYNE!

COME BACK, WAYNE!"

( tearfully ): I LOVED THAT MOVIE

AND WHENEVER I HEAR THIS MUSIC

I THINK OF THAT LITTLE BOY AND HIS HORSE RIDING AWAY AND...

OH, THAT STORY'S BREAKING MY HEART.

I KNOW.

THAT PART WITH THE BOY AND THE HORSE

AND THEN THEY RIDE AWAY...

A-WAY.

THIS IS THE MUSIC, BOYS.

AND THANKS TO ARNIE HERE

I REFOUND IT ON THE DOT OF TIME.

THIS MUSIC HAS BOLDNESS AND ADVENTURENESS

AND IT ALSO CAN INSPIRE US TO SWIM WITH SENSITIVITYNESS

AND EMOTIONALISM.

THAT IS, IF YOU'LL PRECONSIDER AND RE-ENJOIN THE TEAM!

( all cheering )

WE HAVE TWO DAYS!

LET'S GET TRAINING!

LET'S GET IN THE POOL!

OKAY, BOYS, REMEMBER OUR ROUTINE?

I HOPE I REMEMBER MOST OF IT.

I WILL, ON ACCOUNT OF I WROTE THE ORDER

OF ALL OUR MOVES ON MY ARM.

STINKY, THE WATER'S GONNA WASH THAT OFF.

OH, GEE.

Woman: Attention, please.

From Peavine Academy

our first team will perform to the music of Swan Lake.

( applause, music begins )

HEY, THOSE GIRL SWANS ARE REALLY GOOD.

WATCH IT, YOU LITTLE FRUIT CUP.

YOU SISSYBONED FAT BOY!

SEE, I TOLD YOU SOMEONE WOULD CALL ME THAT!

YOU'RE GONNA LOSE TO A BUNCH OF GIRLS. ( laughs )

And now from Whitakerpeg Country Club

a selection from Pachelbel's Canon.

( music playing )

( applause )

OKAY, BOYS, WE'RE UP.

NOW GO OUT THERE AND SWIM

LIKE YOU NEVER SYNCHRONIZED SWUM BEFORE.

REMEMBER, I'M PROUD OF ALL OF YOU.

TISH.

And now, City Pool's

own synchronized swimming team

coached by Coach Wittenberg

with their interpretation of the classic western drama

Come Back, Wayne.

( dynamic western theme playing... )

( cheering )

( cheering and applause )

( neighing )

STEADY, EUGENE...

THIS IS YOUR DIVE.

WHOA... OH!

( yelling )

( cheering and applause... )

All: WAYNE! WAYNE! COME BACK, WAYNE!

( cheering and applause... )

YES, YES, WE DID IT!

WHOA...

The unanimous winners are...

Team Wittenberg!

( cheering and applause )

HAVEN'T DONE THIS IN A WHILE, JACK.

NOW THAT I'VE COACHED ANOTHER WINNING TEAM

I'M BACK IN THE SADDLE.

I NEVER KNEW YOU WERE SO SENSITIVE.

WELL, YOU LEARN SOMETHING NEW EVERY DAY, TISH.

HEY, WHAT DO YOU SAY WE IMPLORE THE MYSTERIES OF THE DEEP?

MMM... JACK.

TISH...

( western theme playing... )

[Captioning sponsored by THE U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION

and NICKELODEON