Original subtitles

Helga: ARNOLD!

( barking )

HEY, ARNOLD!

( glass shatters )

( girl shrieks )

Helga: HEY, ARNOLD!

ARNOLD!

ARNOLD!

ARNOLD!

[Captioning sponsored by THE U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION

and NICKELODEON]

AR-NOLD!

MOVE IT, FOOTBALL HEAD!

Kids: HEY, ARNOLD!

( grunts )

SHUT UP-- WHERE'S YOU MONEY?

LET GO OF ME-- OW.

Man: MONKEYMAN!

( yelling )

( Helga laughing )

Helga: YEAH, RIGHT, ARNOLD, MONKEYMAN SAVED YOU?

AND THEN WHAT?

HE GAVE YOU HIS BUSINESS CARD?

NO, HE WENT AFTER THE TWO MUGGERS.

DID YOU SEE HIM?

NOT REALLY--

IT WAS PRETTY DARK.

DOES HE REALLY WEAR MONKEY SLIPPERS?

JUST SLOW DOWN--

WE'RE GETTING AHEAD OF OURSELVES.

SINCE THIS IS THE FIRST

AUTHENTIC MONKEYMAN SIGHTING THIS YEAR

GERALD SHOULD TELL THE LEGEND FOR ANY OF US

WHO MAY NOT HAVE HEARD IT IN A WHILE.

GERALD?

THANK YOU.

FRIENDS, HOW MANY TIMES HAVE WE AWAKENED

TO THE FRIGHTFUL CRY "MONKEYMAN"?

HOW OFTEN HAVE WE SEEN HIM IN THE CORNER OF OUR EYE

NEVER STOPPING, ALWAYS SPEEDING BY

THE FLASH OF HIS CAPE DOWN ALLEYS AND STREETS

SCAMPERING UP FIRE ESCAPES LIKE A FLIPPED-OUT CHIMPANZEE.

MONKEYMAN.

SOME SAY HE'S A FORCE FOR GOOD

A TWISTED, URBAN ROBIN HOOD

DEFENDING THE WEAK AND DOWNTRODDEN.

SOME SAY HE'S A FORCE FOR BAD, A TRICKING, CONNIVING CAD.

WHAT'S MORE, HE'S JUST PLAIN ROTTEN.

STILL, OTHERS SAY HE'S SOME GUY IN PAJAMAS

LIVING ON STOLEN BANANAS.

WHO KNOWS, NO ONE'S EVER TALKED TO HIM.

BUT IF EVER YOU FIND YOURSELF DOWNTOWN

KEEP LOOKING AROUND, 'CAUSE YOU JUST MIGHT RUN INTO...

MONKEYMAN, THE END.

( groaning )

I DON'T THINK HE'S EVIL OR CRAZY, GERALD.

HE KNOWS WHAT HE'S DOING.

YEAH, LIKE YOU TALKED TO HIM, ARNOLD.

I DIDN'T, BUT I BET IF I DID

HE'D TURN OUT TO BE A NORMAL GUY.

NORMAL?

HE RUNS AROUND DOWNTOWN IN HIS PAJAMAS

YELLING "MONKEYMAN."

HE'S A FREAK OF NATURE.

ACTUALLY, YOU TWO'D PROBABLY GET ALONG.

I'M GOING TO TRY AND FIND HIM.

YEAH, AND PIGS ARE GOING TO FLY

OUT OF A MONKEY'S BUTT.

I'M GOING TO FIND HIM, HELGA

AND THANK HIM FOR WHAT HE DID.

Gerald: I MEAN, HOW ARE WE EVER GOING TO FIND HIM?

HE'S MONKEYMAN, MAN-- HE'S MYTHOLOGICAL.

MONKEYMAN?

I KNOW WHERE TO FIND HIM.

YOU DO?

YEAH, HE COMES DOWN

TO THE DOCKS ON TUESDAYS

WHEN THEY UNLOAD THE BANANA BOATS.

DID YOU GET A GOOD LOOK AT HIM?

NAW, NO ONE EVER GETS A GOOD LOOK.

HE ONLY COMES AT NIGHT

JUST LONG ENOUGH TO GRAB SOME BANANAS OFF A BOAT.

THEN HE GOES SWINGING OUT OF THERE ON A ROPE

YELLING "MONKEYMAN!" THAT CREEPY WAY HE DOES.

HE'S A MYSTERY WRAPPED IN AN ENIGMA, ARNOLD

BUT TRY DOWN ON THE DOCKS ON TUESDAY.

MY BUTT'S FALLING ASLEEP.

MINE, TOO.

BUT LET'S WAIT JUST A LITTLE WHILE LONGER.

I'M SURE WE'LL SEE HIM.

LOOK, ARNOLD, WE'VE BEEN SITTING HERE FOR THREE HOURS.

I HAVEN'T SEEN SO MUCH AS A RAT.

YOU CAN STAY HERE IF YOU WANT

BUT I'M GOING HOME.

YEAH, I'M STAYING.

SEE YOU, GERALD.

Monkeyman: MONKEYMAN!

MONKEYMAN...

( screaming )

I'M ARNOLD.

I'M MONKEYMAN, I'M A SUPERHERO

I FIGHT CRIME-- MONKEYMAN.

I, UH, WANTED TO THANK YOU

FOR SAVING ME THE OTHER NIGHT.

ALL IN THE LINE OF DUTY-- MONKEYMAN.

SO, YOU WANT TO COME OVER TO MY HOUSE?

YOUR HOUSE?

FOR DINNER?

GEE... DINNER...

AT YOUR-- MONKEYMAN-- HOUSE?

I LIVE OUTSIDE SOCIETY.

I CAN'T BE SWAYED BY FANCY DINNERS

AND THE-- MONKEYMAN-- FINER THINGS IN LIFE

I WOULDN'T BE ABLE TO FIGHT CRIME.

OH, COME ON, IT'S JUST ONE DINNER.

THEN YOU CAN GO RIGHT BACK TO FIGHTING CRIME--

WHAT DO YOU SAY?

Grandpa: SO, UH... MR., UH... MONKEYMAN

ARNOLD SAYS YOU LIVE IN KIND OF A CLUBHOUSE

MADE OUT OF CARDBOARD BOXES.

NO, THAT'S JUST MY LAIR

MY MONKEYMAN BAT CAVE

A POST-INDUSTRIAL BACHELOR PAD, IF YOU WILL.

I LIVE WITH MY AUNT AND UNCLE.

I TELL YOU ONE THING

HE SURE SMELLS LIKE A MONKEY.

YES, I CAN BARELY STAND IT.

UM... ARNOLD

I HAVE SOME BANANAS IN MY MONKEYMOBILE.

MAYBE I SHOULD JUST GO OUT THERE...

IT'S JUST SPAGHETTI AND MEATBALLS, MONKEYMAN.

IT'S GREAT.

TRY IT, LIKE THIS.

SEE?

WOW, ARNOLD, IT IS, IT'S GREAT.

SO, UH, MONKEYMAN

I SEE YOU'RE KINDA CONFUSED AROUND SILVERWARE.

SUPERHEROES DON'T NORMALLY USE SILVERWARE.

AND ABOUT THIS SUPERHERO THING.

UM, WHAT'S THE DEAL WITH THE COSTUME

AND THE RUNNING AROUND AT NIGHT YELLING "MONKEYMAN"

AND WAKING US WORKING PEOPLE UP?

IT'S MY JOB, I'M MONKEYMAN!

YEAH, THAT PART I GOT.

I MEAN, WHY ARE YOU MONKEYMAN?

WELL, YOU SEE, I GREW UP IN A ZOO-- OR NEXT TO ONE.

I SPENT ALL MY TIME THERE.

I WAS OBSESSED WITH THE MONKEYS ON MONKEY ISLAND.

I WANTED TO BE JUST LIKE THEM.

EVERYONE SAID I WAS WEIRD.

THEY MADE FUN OF ME AND MY LOVE FOR MONKEYS.

THEY EVEN MADE FUN OF MY STUFFED MONKEY.

THEY TEASED ME, THREW THINGS AT ME

AND STOLE MY STUFFED MONKEY AND BEAT ME UP

AND CHASED ME OUT OF THE ZOO-- MONKEYMAN!

SO I DECIDED TO CHANGE MY IDENTITY

AND BECOME A FORCE FOR GOOD AND AGAINST EVIL

TO DEFEND THE WEAK AND DOWNTRODDEN

FROM BULLIES EVERYWHERE!

PLUS, I HAD TO GET MY MONKEY BACK-- MONKEYMAN.

HE'S NOT STAYING IN MY ROOM TONIGHT.

YES, HE'S VERY CREEPY AND HE SMELLS.

I'VE AN IDEA, MONKEYMAN.

WHY DON'T WE GO DOWN TO SLAUSEN'S

AND GET A BANANA SPLIT?

A BANANA SPLIT... WHAT IS THAT?

SLAUSEN'S... I'M NOT CLEAR.

WHILLIKERS, ARNOLD'S JUST SITTING THERE

LIKE IT'S NO BIG DEAL

HAVING A BANANA SPLIT WITH THE MONKEYMAN.

THAT BOY LEADS A CHARMED LIFE.

WOW, ARNOLD-- MONKEYMAN-- WOW.

THIS BANANA SPLIT HAS GOT TO BE

THE GREATEST INVENTION EVER THOUGHT UP BY MANKIND.

AND TO THINK YOU NON-SUPERHEROES

CAN-- MONKEYMAN-- EAT THEM WHENEVER YOU WANT!

I CAN'T BELIEVE

I'VE BEEN MISSING OUT FOR ALL THESE YEARS!

WELL, THANKS AGAIN FOR SAVING ME, MONKEYMAN.

I GUESS YOU OUGHT TO BE GETTING BACK

TO FIGHTING CRIME NOW.

ARE YOU KIDDING?!

YOU'VE... YOU'VE OPENED THE DOOR

TO A WHOLE NEW WORLD OF FANTASTIC STUFF, ARNOLD.

I'M JUST GETTING-- MONKEYMAN-- STARTED.

COME ON, ARNOLD... MONKEYMAN!

THIS-- MONKEYMAN-- CLARIFYING SHAMPOO IS CRAZY.

MY HAIR IS BOUNCY AND BEHAVING.

MONKEYMAN...

UH... WHAT DO YOU THINK?

WELL, I FOR ONE THINK IT'S, MO...

MARVELOUSLY MINIMALISTIC AND JEJUNE.

AH, AH, BRILLIANT, "JEJUNE."

YES, HAVE YOU MET THE MAYOR?

( chuckling )

HI, MONKEYMAN, CAN I TALK TO YOU?

OH, I'M AFRAID I CAN'T, ARNOLD.

THE MAYOR AND I ARE ABOUT TO ENJOY

A PERFORMANCE OF LA BOHEME.

YOU SPEND A LOT OF TIME

GOING TO PARTIES AND STUFF.

AND YOUR POINT?

IT MUST CUT INTO YOUR JOB--

YOU KNOW, PROTECTING THE WEAK AND THE DOWNTRODDEN?

OH... RIGHT.

WE HAVE A WHOLE POLICE FORCE

TO TAKE CARE OF THE WEAK AND THE DOWNTRODDEN, ARNOLD.

WELL, IT'S BEEN NICE CHATTING WITH YOU.

WE REALLY SHOULD TRY TO GET TOGETHER SOMETIME--

MONK...

CIAO.

Sid: HEY, WHAT?!

SHUT UP, WHERE'S YOUR MONEY?

I DON'T HAVE ANY-- OW!

WHAT YOU GOT THERE, PUNK?

MONKEYMAN, HELP!

MONKEYMAN...

( cries )

HOWDY, ARNOLD, IS MONKEYMAN COMING?

HE'S WITH THE MAYOR WATCHING LA BOHEME.

WHO COULD'VE PREDICTED THAT?

I'M WORRIED ABOUT HIM.

WHAT FOR? HE'S HAVING FUN.

HE'S JUST NOT THE SAME MONKEYMAN.

HE DOESN'T CARE ABOUT THE HELPLESS AND THE DOWNTRODDEN.

WE HAVE A POLICE FORCE

TO TAKE CARE OF THAT.

WHAT DIFFERENCE DOES IT MAKE

IF HE'S HAVING A GOOD TIME?

( sobbing )

THEY JUMPED ME... TWO BIG GUYS.

I DIDN'T HAVE ENOUGH MONEY, SO THEY TOOK THEM!

WHAT, SID, TOOK WHAT?

ARNOLD, THEY TOOK MY BEATLE BOOTS!

( sobbing )

I WANT MY BOOTS!

BYE-BYE, MAYOR, THANKS FOR THE CHAT.

I'LL BE SEEING YOU SOON.

WHAT'S WRONG, WHAT HAPPENED?

WHAT HAPPENED?

I GOT MUGGED!

MUGGED?

YEAH, MUGGED

RIGHT IN FRONT

OF THE STINKING OPERA HOUSE!

OPERA HOUSE?

I LOOKED AROUND AND THOUGHT

"HEY, WHERE'S MONKEYMAN?

HE SHOULD BE SAVING ME NOW."

BUT, NO, YOU WERE TOO BUSY

GOING TO THE OPERA WITH THE MAYOR!

YOU'RE NOT A SUPERHERO AT ALL.

YOU'RE JUST SOME KIND OF SELFISH

CAVIAR-EATING, OPERA-GOING TUXEDO BOY!

YEAH, THAT'S WHAT YOU ARE...

YEAH!

MONKEYMAN?

IT'S ME, ARNOLD.

OH, HI, COME IN, ARNOLD.

WHAT'S GOING ON?

I'M PACKING IT IN, ARNOLD.

I'M-- MO-- QUITTING THE SUPERHERO BUSINESS.

BUT YOU CAN'T QUIT, YOU'RE MONKEYMAN.

YEAH...

I USED TO BE MONKEYMAN, ARNOLD

SWORN TO PROTECT THE WEAK AND THE DOWNTRODDEN

UNTIL I GOT ALL STUCK-UP AND SNOOTY

AND STARTED HANGING OUT AT THE OPERA

WITH-- MO-- CELEBRITIES

AND THEN THOSE PUNKS STOLE SID'S BEATLE BOOTS

AND I DIDN'T LIFT A FINGER TO STOP THEM

BECAUSE I'D GROWN SOFT

AND ONLY CARED ABOUT THE-- MO-- FINER THINGS.

WAIT, SO YOU MADE ONE MISTAKE

AND YOU WENT TO THE OPERA INSTEAD OF FIGHTING CRIME.

THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD STOP BEING A SUPERHERO.

YOU WERE HAPPY BEING MONKEYMAN.

YOU STILL CAN DO IT.

SURE, SID NEEDED YOU

BUT LOTS OF KIDS STILL NEED YOU.

DON'T GIVE UP NOW.

WE NEED YOU, MONKEYMAN.

( reading ): DEAR ARNOLD-- THANKS FOR EVERYTHING.

PLEASE GIVE THESE TO SID.

Monkeyman: MONKEYMAN!

( kids yelling playfully )

A FIELD TRIP TO THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY

AND EVERYONE'S CARRYING ON

LIKE THEY DIED AND WENT TO HEAVEN.

WHAT BUFFOONS!

AREN'T YOU LOOKING FORWARD TO THE VISIT?

YOU KIDDING?

I'VE GOT TICKETS TO WRESTLEMANIA.

THE SOONER WE FINISH THIS DORKY ESCAPADE

THE SOONER I GET THERE.

CUT IT OUT, HELGA.

WHAT?

CLASS, PLEASE...

LISTENING EARS.

THANK YOU.

NOW, WE'RE ALMOST THERE, SO FIRST, A FEW RULES...

RULE ONE: GO STRAIGHT TO THE YAHOO CHOCOLATE HOSPITALITY ROOM

AND EAT CHOCOLATE NUM-NUMS TILL YOU PUKE!

( cheering )

STOP CHEERING!

HAROLD'S OBNOXIOUS ENOUGH.

DON'T ENCOURAGE HIM.

I'VE BEEN DREAMING ABOUT THIS FIELD TRIP

SINCE KINDERGARTEN

AND I'M PLANNING ON HAVING THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE!

SO STAY OUT OF MY WAY, MADAM FORTRESS MOMMY.

YOU STAY OUT OF MY WAY, PINK BOY.

Kids ( chanting ): CHOCOLATE, CHOCOLATE...

( cheering )

CLASS, BEFORE WE BEGIN ENJOYING THE EXHIBITS

REMEMBER, WE'LL ALL MEET UP

OUTSIDE THE HOSPITALITY ROOM

AT... OKAY, WE'LL MEET UP LATER.

CHOCOLATE FACTORY.

YEAH, CHOCOLATE.

( cheering )

( yawns )

CHOCOLATE, BIG VATS OF CHOCOLATE.

WHY'S CHOCOLATE BOY HERE?

HE'S NOT IN OUR CLASS.

Arnold: HE'S NOT IN OUR GRADE.

UH... CHOCOLATE BOY, WHERE ARE YOU GOING?

YOU'RE NOT GOING TO DO ANYTHING CRAZY, ARE YOU?

AND OVER HERE, BEHIND ME

IS THE HUGE VAT...

MR. SIMMONS, THERE'S SOMEBODY SWIMMING IN THE CHOCOLATE!

PHOEBE, WHAT A TRULY VIVID IMAGINATION YOU HAVE.

WE ALL KNOW

THERE'S NO WAY ANYONE COULD...

( screams )

CHOCOLATE BOY

LET ME START BY SAYING

I AM NOT AT ALL HAPPY ABOUT THIS.

YOU SKIPPED SCHOOL FOR THIS FIELD TRIP

WITHOUT ANYONE'S PERMISSION.

WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO SAY?

CHOCOLATE.

TIME TO TAKE YOU BACK TO SCHOOL.

BETTER ROUND UP THE CLASS

AND GET THEM ON THE BUS.

THE FIELD TRIP'S OVER?

OH, I'M AFRAID SO, HELGA.

YES, WRESTLEMANIA, HERE I COME.

( laughing )

WAY TO GO, CHOCOLATE BOY.

THANKS A LOT.

WHERE'S HAROLD?

HE BETTER NOT MAKE ME LATE.

ALL RIGHT, IS EVERYONE ON BOARD?

I'LL JUST DO A QUICK HEADCOUNT--

TWO, FOUR, SIX...

HMM... CHOCOLATE.

WARM, STICKY CHOCOLATE...

CHOCOLATE BOY, PLEASE...

OH, STOP LICKING YOURSELF.

NOW, WHERE WAS I?

OH, YES... UH... TEN, 12...

HEY, STUPID, WAKE UP.

IT'S TIME TO ROLL.

MOVE IT, BIG BOY!

( yelling )

AND 30-- WELL.

I THINK THAT'S EVERYBODY.

OW, QUIT PULLING MY ARM!

THE BUS IS LEAVING, YOU DUMB OAF.

NO!

WAIT!

COME BACK!

Harold: WE'RE ALL ALONE.

WE'LL STARVE TO DEATH!

GET REAL, PORKY.

YOU JUST ATE HALF YOUR WEIGHT IN CHOCOLATE.

I BET THEY'VE ALREADY NOTICED WE'RE GONE

AND ARE TURNING AROUND RIGHT NOW.

♪ 95 BOTTLES OF BEER ON THE WALL, 95 BOTTLES OF BEER... ♪

OR MAYBE NOT.

OKAY, LET'S GO BACK INSIDE

AND CALL OUR PARENTS.

( screaming )

SO HOW MUCH MONEY YOU GOT?

ENOUGH FOR ONE CALL EACH.

HELLO?

MOM, IT'S ME, HELGA.

I'm stuck at the chocolate factory with a moron.

The school bus left us here

and we don't have any way to get back.

Oh, please pick up, Miriam.

OH.

HELLO?

MOMMY?

IT'S ME, HAROLD.

I NEVER HEARD OF YOU.

DON'T CALL ME AGAIN.

( dial tone )

DIALED THE WRONG NUMBER.

JUST BRILLIANT.

YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW YOUR OWN PHONE NUMBER.

WHERE'RE YOU GOING?

TO WRESTLEMANIA

EVEN IF I HAVE TO WALK THERE.

HEY, WAIT UP, HELGA.

DON'T LEAVE ME HERE, PLEASE!

Harold: HEY, LOOK, THE SUBWAY.

WE'RE SAVED!

YEAH, GREAT IDEA, GENIUS.

ONLY ONE LITTLE PROBLEM--

IT COSTS MONEY TO TAKE THE SUBWAY

AND WE DON'T HAVE ANY.

WE'LL JUST JUMP THE GATE.

NO ONE EVER GETS CAUGHT.

COME ON!

HEY, YOU TWO KIDS, COME BACK HERE!

OH, WHEW, THAT WAS CLOSE.

OH, I THINK I'M GOING TO BE SICK.

"NO ONE EVER GETS CAUGHT."

NOW I GUESS WE GET OFF AT LEXINGTON.

NO, NO, WE GET OFF AT LINCOLN.

I TOOK THIS TRAIN WITH MY DAD ONCE.

TO WHERE, THE IDIOTS' CONVENTION?

I KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT, TRUST ME.

FINE, BUT YOU'D BETTER BE RIGHT, PINK BOY.

( retching )

Helga: NOW WHAT?

I DON'T KNOW.

IT KIND OF LOOKS DIFFERENT

THAN I REMEMBERED.

YOU DON'T HAVE ANY IDEA WHERE WE ARE

DO YOU?!

DO YOU?

HELGA?

COME BACK!

( circus music playing )

( laughter )

HEY LOOK!

ONE: I'M NOT GOING TO RIDE THAT CLOWN BIKE.

TWO: IT DOESN'T BELONG TO US.

AW, COME ON, NO ONE'S GOING TO NOTICE.

YOU WANT TO MAKE IT TO WRESTLEMANIA, DON'T YOU?

WHY DO I HAVE TO SIT IN BACK?

JUST SHUT UP.

WE'VE GOT MILES TO GO

AND I'M DOING ALL THE WORK.

HEY, BICYCLE THIEF!

COME BACK!

GET THE CAR.

♪ 41 BOTTLES OF BEER ON THE WALL... ♪

WHAT'S WRONG, WHY'D YOU STOP SINGING?

I JUST GOT THIS STRANGE FEELING

LIKE SOMETHING'S MISSING.

LOOK, THE CITY!

WE'RE ALMOST THERE!

YEAH, "ALMOST THERE."

TRY FIVE MILES, BONEHEAD.

WELL, AT LEAST WE GOT WHEELS.

TOLD YOU TAKING THIS BIKE WAS A GOOD IDEA.

GUESS I'M NOT SO DUMB AFTER ALL, HUH?

( yelling )

( screaming )

THEY GOT TO BE AROUND HERE SOMEWHERE.

WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON THEM

I'LL POUND THE FAT ONE WHILE THE SKINNY ONE WATCHES!

I WOULD LIKE TO SEE THAT.

THAT'S THE LAST TIME I BORROW SOME CLOWN'S BIKE.

PERFECT, I'M BEING STALKED BY A MOB OF ANGRY CIRCUS FREAKS.

I'M WAIST-DEEP IN FREEZING COLD WATER

NEXT TO A BIG, FAT LOSER

AND THERE'S A REALLY ANNOYING LIGHT SHINING IN MY FACE.

HEY, WHAT IS THAT LIGHT?

COME ON.

♪ BLOW THE MAN DOWN... ♪

LOOK, IT'S GINA'S UNCLE EARL.

HEY, MISTER, WAKE UP.

CAN YOU GIVE US A RIDE INTO TOWN?

THERE'S SOME CRAZY, KILLER MIDGET CLOWNS!

MIDGET CLOWNS, EH?

♪ 17 BOTTLES OF BEER ON THE WALL ♪

♪ 17 BOTTLES OF BEER ♪

♪ TAKE ONE DOWN, PASS IT AROUND... ♪

HEY, PHOEBE, WHERE'S HELGA?

GOSH, I DON'T KNOW.

I ASSUMED SHE WAS UP FRONT.

UH-OH.

Simmons: WE WHAT?!

OH, MY WORD!

WHAT A NIGHTMARE.

AT LEAST IT'S ALMOST OVER.

SEE, I TOLD YOU EVERYTHING WOULD WORK OUT.

HEY, WHAT'S THIS?

DON'T BE PULLING THAT.

( screaming )

HELP! HELP ME, I CAN'T SWIM!

NEITHER CAN I.

GOOD LUCK TO YE.

HELGA! HELP ME!

QUIT CHOKING ME!

GRAB ONTO THIS.

Arnold: WHAT IS IT, CHOCOLATE BOY

YOU SMELL SOMETHING?

YEAH, IT'S HAROLD'S CHOCOLATE.

PROBABLY AN HOUR AGO-- MAYBE AN HOUR AND 15.

OH, DEAR, I'M AFRAID THEY'RE LONG GONE.

I BETTER GO STRAIGHT TO HAROLD'S AND HELGA'S PARENTS

AND TELL THEM THEY'RE MISS... STOP SNIFFING ME.

Harold: WE'RE ALIVE!

OH-HO, YOU SAVED MY LIFE!

I THINK I LOVE YOU!

HAROLD, GET AWAY FROM ME

YOU BIG WHALE!

HUH?

EVERYTHING THAT'S HAPPENED

IS YOUR FAULT!

YOU CAN'T DO ANYTHING RIGHT.

TAKE THE BUS.

WHY DO YOU THINK WE MISSED IT, HAROLD?

OH, LET'S SEE, HMM.

MAYBE WAS IT BECAUSE

YOU WERE TOO BUSY EATING TWICE YOUR BODY WEIGHT

IN CHOCOLATE NUM-NUMS?!

OH, HOW ABOUT THIS ONE:

"LET'S TAKE THE SUBWAY, I THINK IT GOES TO LINCOLN."

OH, WAIT, NO, IT DOESN'T.

IT GOES STRAIGHT TO THE BOWELS OF THE UNDERWORLD!

POPULATION: HOMICIDAL MIDGET CLOWNS!

"I KNOW, LET'S STEAL THEIR BIKE.

THEY WON'T MIND."

NOW, YOU'D THINK THAT WOULD BE ENOUGH

TO FILL ANY MORON'S DAY.

BUT YOU'RE NOT JUST ANY MORON, ARE YOU, HAROLD?

YOU'RE THE KING!

YOUR DAY'S JUST GETTING STARTED!

SO BECAUSE OF YOUR AMAZING CURIOSITY

ABOUT THE WORLD AROUND US

YOU PULLED THE PLUG OUT OF THE BOTTOM OF OUR GETAWAY BOAT!

YOU IDIOT.

SO IS THAT WHAT YOU REALLY THINK OF ME, HELGA?

YOU THINK I'M AN IDIOT AND I CAN'T DO ANYTHING RIGHT?

YES, HAROLD, THAT'S WHAT I REALLY THINK.

I THINK I KNOW WHERE WE ARE!

YEAH, WE'RE UP THE CREEK WITHOUT A PADDLE.

REALLY, HELGA, I KNOW WHERE WE ARE!

LET'S GO, COME ON, COME ON!

OW! LET GO OF ME, YOU BIG OAF!

THIS IS IT, THIS IS IT, COME ON!

STOP PULLING ME

AND TELL ME WHERE YOU'RE TAKING ME RIGHT NOW!

WRESTLEMANIA!

( gasps )

WRESTLEMANIA?

BUT HOW?

MY COUSIN WORKS HERE

AS A SECURITY GUARD.

HE LETS ME IN ALL THE TIME.

HEY, FURBALL!

( crowd cheering )

( doorbell rings )

CAN I HELP YOU?

UH, MRS. PATAKI--

I'M AFRAID I HAVE SOME VERY SERIOUS NEWS.

COULD YOU JUST EXCUSE ME JUST A SEC?

( telephone rings )

HELLO?

OH, HI, HELGA.

WRESTLEMANIA WITH HAROLD?

OKAY, HAVE FUN, BYE-BYE.

NOW, WHAT WAS THAT YOU WERE SAYING?

( groans )

( crowd cheering )

UM, HAROLD, I JUST WANT TO SAY I'M SORRY.

OH, THAT'S OKAY.

CHOCOLATE NUM-NUM?

[Captioning sponsored by THE U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION

and NICKELODEON