Original subtitles

Helga: ARNOLD!

( barking )

HEY, ARNOLD!

( glass shatters )

( girl shrieks )

Helga: HEY, ARNOLD!

ARNOLD!

ARNOLD!

ARNOLD!

[Captioning sponsored by THE U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION

and NICKELODEON]

AR-NOLD!

MOVE IT, FOOTBALL HEAD!

Kids: HEY, ARNOLD!

( dog barking )

HEY, GRANDPA, COULD YOU HELP ME

WITH THIS MATH PROBLEM?

SURE, I KNOW ALL KINDS OF MATH--

ADDITION, SUBTRACTION, MULTIPLICATION...

FIVE TIMES FIVE IS 25, FIVE TIMES SIX IS 30.

AM I HELPING?

NOT REALLY.

I'M DOING LONG DIVISION.

L-L-L-LONG... LONG DIVISION?

CAN YOU HELP?

OKAY, THREE AND TWO IS, UH...

AND 22 TIMES 14, THAT WOULD BE THAT

AND, UH, THE... THE ANSWER'S "SEVEN."

BUT THE ANSWER CAN'T BE SEVEN, BECAUSE...

( chuckles )

OF COURSE, YOU'RE RIGHT.

THE ANSWER'S SEVEN... TEEN!

UH, NO.

EIGHTEEN?

THIRTY-NINE?

FIFTY-TWO?

HUT-HUT, HIKE? HA-HA.

DIDN'T YOU LEARN LONG DIVISION IN FOURTH GRADE?

WHOOPS! TIME TO TAKE MY MEDICATION.

GRANDPA, WAIT!

COME BACK.

CAN'T HEAR YOU!

WHERE'S THE SIREN?

( imitating siren )

LET'S SEE, "TAKE TWO TABLETS EVERY SIX HOURS..."

GRANDPA, IT'S JUST ME, ARNOLD.

YOU CAN TELL ME.

WHAT'S WRONG?

OH, NOTHING!

I DON'T...

OH, ALL RIGHT, ARNOLD, I'LL TELL YOU THE TRUTH.

I ALWAYS KNEW THIS DAY WOULD COME

WHEN YOU WOULD BRING ME HOMEWORK I COULDN'T DO

AND LONG DIVISION WITH DECIMALS

IS EXACTLY AS FAR AS I GOT BEFORE...

BEFORE WHAT?

BEFORE I QUIT, ARNOLD.

I... NEVER FINISHED THE FOURTH GRADE.

YOU NEVER FINISHED THE FOURTH GRADE?

ARNOLD, SIT DOWN ON THE BIDET

AND LET ME TELL YOU A STORY.

YOU SEE, BACK IN THE 1920s

THINGS WERE PRETTY GOOD.

OH, ARNOLD, I USED TO DREAM

OF GETTING MY GRADE-SCHOOL DIPLOMA

AND BECOMING PRESIDENT.

BUT THEN THE GREAT DEPRESSION CAME

AND EVERYBODY LOST THEIR JOBS.

IT WAS TOUGH.

AT CHRISTMAS, WE COULDN'T AFFORD TOYS.

WE HAD TO MAKE OUR OWN TOYS OUT OF DIRT.

I HAD TO QUIT SCHOOL TO GET A JOB TO SUPPORT MY FAMILY.

I TELL YOU, I USED TO DREAM

OF MAKING IT TO MY GRADUATION, ARNOLD--

WALKING UP THERE, TAKING THE DIPLOMA FROM THE PRINCIPAL

FLIPPING THE LITTLE TASSEL ON MY MORTARBOARD.

I ALWAYS SAID I'D GO BACK TO SCHOOL

BUT, WELL, ONE JOB LED TO ANOTHER

AND I JUST NEVER DID.

A GRADE-SCHOOL DIPLOMA--

THE ONE THING I'VE ALWAYS WANTED BUT NEVER GOT.

COULDN'T YOU GO

BACK TO SCHOOL?

OH, I CAN'T DO THAT, ARNOLD.

I'M TOO OLD.

I'VE LOST TOO MANY BRAIN CELLS.

YOU'RE NOT TOO OLD, GRANDPA.

AND YOU'VE STILL GOT PLENTY OF BRAIN CELLS.

NO... NOT SINCE WOODSTOCK.

YOU CAN DO IT, GRANDPA.

YOU CAN GET YOUR DIPLOMA.

IT'S YOUR DREAM.

YOU HAVE TO DO IT.

BY GUM, YOU'RE RIGHT, ARNOLD!

ALL RIGHT, THEN, THAT SETTLES IT.

COME MONDAY

I'M GOING TO FOLLOW MY DREAM

AND GET A GRADE-SCHOOL DIPLOMA.

AND THEN ONE DAY I'LL BE PRESIDENT.

LET'S JUST FOCUS ON YOUR DIPLOMA FIRST.

OKAY.

WELL, PHILIP, WELCOME TO P.S. 118.

I RUN A TIGHT SHIP.

I TRUST I WON'T NEED TO SEE YOU

FOR DISCIPLINARY REASONS?

OH, NO, SIR, I'M A GOOD BOY.

YES.

LET'S FIND YOU A CLASSROOM, SHALL WE?

ALL RIGHT, SONNY... I MEAN, UH, PRINCIPAL WARTZ.

IS HE GOING TO BE IN OUR CLASS?

NAH, THEY WOULDN'T PUT GRANDPA IN OUR CLASS.

THAT WOULD BE A LITTLE TOO WEIRD.

STUDENTS, LET'S ALL WELCOME

YOUR NEW CLASSMATE, PHILIP.

HEY, SHORT MAN!

WE'RE GOING TO BE CLASSMATES.

Simmons: ALL RIGHT, CLASS.

LET'S PUT ON OUR LISTENING EARS AGAIN.

PHIL, GET OUT YOUR PENCIL

AND OPEN YOUR MATH BOOK TO PAGE 98.

WE WERE TALKING ABOUT DECIMALS IN LONG DIVISION.

( gasping )

D-D-D-D-DID YOU SAY L-L-LONG DIVISION?

DON'T WORRY, GRANDPA, IT'LL BE FINE.

( no dialogue )

YES! IN YOUR FACE, LONG DIVISION WITH DECIMALS!

( boys laughing )

THAT WAS ONE RIPPING GOOD YARN, PHIL.

WELL, I'LL CATCH YOU CATS ON THE FLIP SIDE.

SEE YOU, PHIL.

WHILLIKERS, ARNOLD.

YOUR GRANDPA SURE IS HEP.

HE'S GOOD AT CIPHERING

AND HE'S GOT HIS OWN CAR.

Grandpa: AND THEN, LISTEN-- POOKIE, LISTEN.

AND THEN I GOT A 97 ON MY MULTIPLE CHOICE

AND A GOLD STAR!

WHY, THAT'S WONDERFUL, PHIL!

YEP, WON'T BE LONG

TILL I GET THAT GRADE-SCHOOL DIPLOMA.

AND IF YOU DON'T WANT TO WEAR THAT FORK

KEEP YOUR PAWS OFF MY DESSERT, KOKOSHKA!

HEY, LOOK, IT'S PHIL!

YO, ARNOLD, MY MAIN MAN! WORD UP?

Simmons: CLASS, I HAVE A VERY IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT.

I SHOWED THE RESULTS OF PHIL'S WORK TO PRINCIPAL WARTZ

AND HE HAS DECIDED THAT OUR NEW CLASSMATE

SHOULD BE IMMEDIATELY PROMOTED TO THE FIFTH GRADE!

( students cheering )

Arnold: DID YOU HEAR?

YOU'RE ON YOUR WAY, GRANDPA.

THANKS, SHORT MAN.

I'M GOING TO MISS YOU.

I'M GOING TO MISS ALL OF YOU-- SID WITH YOUR BACKWARDS HAT

AND YOUR TEENY LITTLE WHITE PATENT LEATHER BEATLE BOOTS

AND YOU, STINKY...

GRANDPA...

YOU'LL BE NEXT DOOR.

OH, WELL, THEN I'LL JUST SEE YOU AT RECESS.

SEE YOU, SUCKERS!

HEY, FIFTH-GRADERS

WHAT'S THAT YOU'RE PLAYING?

KICKBALL-- WHAT'S IT TO YOU, OLD MAN?

WELL, I JUST THOUGHT

SINCE WE'RE CLASSMATES NOW, I'D JOIN YOU.

AREN'T YOU A LITTLE OLD FOR KICKBALL?

YOU MIGHT FALL DOWN AND BREAK YOUR HIP.

( laughing )

MY HIP'S MADE OF SPACE-AGE PLASTIC.

WATCH THIS AND LEARN SOMETHING.

( crash, then alarm rings )

OH... YOU AIN'T SEEN NOTHING!

SCATTER!

AWESOME KICK, OLD GUY.

WHAT'S YOUR NAME?

PHIL.

COME ON, PHIL.

SIT WITH US AT LUNCH, OKAY?

( no dialogue )

Grandpa: AFTER HE LOOKED OVER MY TEST RESULTS

MR. PACKENHAM DECIDED TO PROMOTE ME TO THE SIXTH GRADE.

WOW, GRANDPA! I CAN'T BELIEVE HOW FAST THIS IS GOING.

YOU'VE ALMOST GOT YOUR GRADE-SCHOOL DIPLOMA.

YEP, FIFTH GRADE WAS A SNAP.

I MEAN, HOW DIFFERENT CAN SIXTH GRADE BE?

WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT?

( gulps )

( gnawing )

OH, I CAN'T FIGURE THIS OUT.

WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT?

( bones rattling )

( doorbell rings )

HEY, CONNIE, MARIA!

WHAT'S SHAKING, LADIES?

GRANDPA, WHERE ARE YOU GOING?

WE'RE GOING TO SNEAK INTO A P.G.-13 MOVIE.

BUT YOU'RE 81.

YOU CAN GET INTO A P.G.-13 MOVIE ANYTIME.

BESIDES, IT'S A SCHOOL NIGHT.

DON'T YOU HAVE HOMEWORK?

HEY!

QUIT BUMMING MY TRIP, MAN.

( liquid sloshing )

( laughing )

( growling )

( siren wailing )

CHERRY TOPS!

CHEESE IT! IT THE MAN!

TARDINESS, DISOBEYANCE OF LUNCHROOM PROCEDURE

SPRAY-PAINTING "STEELY PHIL" ON THE PLAYGROUND DUMPSTER

AND RANK INSOUCIANCE.

WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO SAY FOR YOURSELF?

IF YOU'RE DONE RECITING MY CREDITS

I GOT SOME SHOPLIFTING TO DO.

YOUNG MAN, I'M BEGINNING TO WONDER

IF YOU WANT TO FINISH GRADE SCHOOL.

( mimicking ): "YOUNG MAN, I'M BEGINNING TO WONDER

IF YOU WANT TO FINISH GRADE SCHOOL."

PARDON ME?

"PARDON ME?"

STOP REPEATING WHAT I SAY.

"STOP REPEATING."

THAT'S IT!

"THAT'S IT."

YOUNG MAN

ARE YOU LOOKING FOR TROUBLE?

MAYBE-- WHAT HAVE YOU GOT?

ALL RIGHT! THIS IS YOUR FINAL WARNING.

EITHER YOU STRAIGHTEN UP AND FLY RIGHT

OR I'LL BE FORCED TO DISMISS YOU FROM P.S. 118.

REPORT TO DETENTION AFTER SCHOOL.

REPORT THIS, WARTZ.

( alarm rings )

THAT'S IT.

I'M CALLING HIS PARENTS.

GRANDPA, I NEED TO TALK TO YOU.

LAY IT ON ME.

PRINCIPAL WARTZ CALLED.

HE SAID YOU'RE IN BIG TROUBLE--

THAT YOU'RE THIS FAR FROM BEING EXPELLED.

WHAT DOES HE KNOW?

HE'S JUST AN OLD FART.

GRANDPA!

MAKE YOUR POINT, ARNOLD, I'M BUSY.

GRANDPA, WHAT HAPPENED?

YOU WERE DOING GREAT.

YOU WERE PASSING ALL YOUR TESTS.

DON'T YOU WANT TO GET YOUR DIPLOMA?

FORGET IT! I'M THROUGH WITH SCHOOL.

I'M CHUCKING THE EDUCATION THING.

BUT YOU'RE SO CLOSE.

BUT YOUR DREAM!

I WOKE UP.

WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?

WHY ARE YOU GETTING IN TROUBLE?

'CAUSE...

'CAUSE WHY?

BECAUSE!

BECAUSE WHY, GRANDPA?

I WANT TO KNOW WHY

AND I WANT TO KNOW RIGHT NOW.

BECAUSE, I'M...

SCARED.

I'M SCARED, OKAY?

SCARED OF WHAT?

THAT I CAN'T DO IT--

THAT... THAT I'LL FAIL.

YOU SHOULD HAVE TOLD ME.

I CAN HELP YOU.

WE CAN HIT THE BOOKS.

WE CAN DO IT, I PROMISE.

YOU CAN PASS THE SIXTH GRADE, GRANDPA.

I DON'T KNOW, SHORT MAN.

OH... SIXTH GRADE IS SO TOUGH AND SCARY

AND ALL THOSE BIG WORDS AND NUMBERS.

IT'S YOUR DREAM, GRANDPA.

MY DREAM.

A GRADE-SCHOOL DIPLOMA.

YOU WANT THAT DIPLOMA.

I... WANT... THAT DIPLOMA.

LOUDER.

YOU WANT THAT DIPLOMA!

I WANT THAT DIPLOMA!

LET'S GET IT.

RIGHT AFTER MY NAP.

Arnold: CAPITAL OF MINNESOTA?

DULUTH.

PRINCIPAL EXPORT?

BOB DYLAN...

UH, NO, CHEESE.

CHIEF INDUSTRY.

STEEL AND STEEL BY-PRODUCTS.

STATE MOTTO?

MELTS IN YOUR MOUTH, NOT YOUR HAND.

THE SUM OF THE SQUARE ROOT

OF ANY TWO SIDES OF AN ISOSCELES TRIANGLE

IS EQUAL TO THE SQUARE ROOT OF THE REMAINING SIDE.

IN YOUR FACE, WARTZ!

( teachers whispering )

PLEASE.

I PASS?

I'M AS SURPRISED AS YOU ARE.

CONGRATULATIONS, PHIL!

DON'T HUG ME.

OH... OKAY.

OH, WHAT THE HECK!

COME HERE, YOU!

( grunts happily )

( all cheering )

YOU DID IT, GRANDPA.

YOU GRADUATED!

THANKS TO YOU, SHORT MAN.

SO YOU GOING TO TRY

FOR YOUR JUNIOR HIGH AND HIGH SCHOOL DIPLOMA?

HIGH SCHOOL?!

THAT'S FOR LOSERS.

I DON'T HAVE TIME.

I'VE GOT TO RUN FOR PRESIDENT.

GRANDPA, YOU CAN'T JUST RUN FOR PRESIDENT.

EH, MAYBE YOU'RE RIGHT.

MAYBE I SHOULD START SMALL

LIKE ASSEMBLYMAN OR ALDERMAN.

AW, THE HECK WITH IT!

I'M RUNNING FOR PRESIDENT.

AND POOKIE, YOU CAN BE MY CAMPAIGN MANAGER.

WHAT'S OUR SLOGAN?

MELTS IN YOUR MOUTH, NOT IN YOUR HAND.

POOKIE, YOU'RE FIRED.

ARNOLD, YOU'RE MY NEW CAMPAIGN MANAGER.

GRANDPA...

( bell rings )

Simmons: CLASS, TODAY WE ARE GOING TO EMBARK

ON A VERY SPECIAL ADVENTURE

AN ADVENTURE THAT WILL TEACH US

THE MEANING OF BOTH TEAMWORK AND RESPONSIBILITY.

YOUR MISSION, ALONG WITH YOUR PARTNER

IS TO TAKE CARE OF YOUR UNIQUE EGG FOR AN ENTIRE WEEKEND.

THEN, COME MONDAY MORNING

YOU ARE TO BRING THE EGG BACK TO CLASS IN PRIME CONDITION.

THAT MEANS NO CRACKS, NO DIRT, NO HARD-BOILED.

WHY WOULD WE WANT TO TAKE CARE OF A STUPID EGG?

I THINK THE PURPOSE OF THE EGG

IN THE CLASSIC EXPERIMENT MR. SIMMONS IS PROPOSING

IS SYMBOLIC REPRESENTATION.

IT'S A TYPE OF SURROGATE BABY, IF YOU WILL

AND WE STUDENTS WILL PLAY THE ROLE OF PARENTS.

THIS IS GOING TO BE LIKE BEING MARRIED, ISN'T IT?

REMEMBER, ONE PARTNER MUST HAVE THE EGG WITH THEM AT ALL TIMES.

THE EGG SHOULD BE A MUTUAL RESPONSIBILITY

WITH CAREGIVERS MAKING JOINT DECISIONS.

READY TO PICK PARTNERS, RHONDA?

OKAY, BUT I BETTER GET SOMEONE GOOD.

OH, GREAT... I GOT HAROLD.

COME ON, RHONDA, YOU KNOW YOU LIKE ME.

WHERE IN THE WORLD WOULD YOU GET A RIDICULOUS IDEA LIKE THAT?

REMEMBER AT THE CHEESE FESTIVAL YOU JUMPED...

SHH... I TOLD YOU NEVER TO MENTION THAT NIGHT

EVER AGAIN.

I GOT HELGA.

OH... ARNOLD.

AT LAST MY TWISTED GIRLHOOD FANTASIES HAVE BECOME REALITY

AN ENTIRE WEEKEND ALONE WITH YOU IN MOCK MARITAL BLISS

RAISING OUR LOVE CHILD

ALL THE WHILE NURTURING OUR OWN DELICATE RELATIONSHIP.

OH, MY DARLING!

MY PRETEND HUSBAND.

I WON'T WASTE ANOTHER MOMENT OF THIS MOST GLORIOUS OPPORTUNITY

ON PETTY MOCKINGS AND SARCASTIC TONGUE-LASHING.

I'LL PROVE TO YOU FOR ONCE AND FOR ALL

HOW MUCH I TRULY LOVE YOU BY FORCING MYSELF TO BE NICE

AND I'LL TREAT OUR BABY--

OR TINY, UNHATCHED EGG, AS IT WERE--

WITH THE UTMOST TENDERNESS AND CARE.

OH...

THIS IS YOUR CHANCE, HELGA.

DON'T BLOW IT.

BOY, ARNOLD, YOU SURE GOT GYPPED

PICKING HELGA FOR THAT EGG THING!

OH, SHE'S SUCH A GRUMPY OLD MEANIE MOUTH.

SHE HATES YOU--

ALWAYS CALLING YOU NAMES

AND PICKING ON YOU.

I KNOW, BUT I HAVE A PLAN.

I'VE DECIDED THAT FOR ONCE

I WON'T LET HELGA JUMP ALL OVER ME.

I'LL JUST LAY DOWN THE LAW

AND TELL HER I WON'T TAKE HER BULLYING.

( laughing )

ARNOLD, THERE YOU ARE.

I'VE BEEN LOOKING ALL OVER FOR YOU.

LOOK, HELGA, BEFORE YOU SAY ANYTHING

I WANT TO LET YOU KNOW

IF WE WORK TOGETHER ON THIS EGG PROJECT

WE'LL HAVE TO SET A FEW GROUND RULES.

YEAH, I'VE BEEN THINKING, TOO.

THERE'S NO REASON WE CAN'T TRY...

BY THAT I MEAN NO YELLING AT ME

NO INSULTING ME, LIKE CALLING ME FOOTBALL-HEAD

AND NO COMPLAINING.

RIGHT, THAT'S WHAT I'M TRYING TO SAY.

BECAUSE TO BE PERFECTLY HONEST

YOU'RE THE LAST PERSON I'D WANT TO PRETEND

TO BE MARRIED TO.

I'D RATHER BE WITH ANYBODY ELSE ON THE PLANET.

BUT I...

I KNOW YOU DON'T LIKE ME

AND FRANKLY, YOU'RE NOT MY FAVORITE PERSON.

I'D RATHER WORK WITH SOMEBODY ELSE

SOMEBODY I GET ALONG WITH BETTER

LIKE LILA, FOR EXAMPLE.

BUT SINCE WE HAVE TO WORK TOGETHER

I'M WILLING TO PUT OUR DIFFERENCES ASIDE

AND WORK TOGETHER RESPONSIBLY.

WHAT DO YOU SAY?

I SAY... I SAY...

DON'T GET MAD

DON'T GET MAD.

REMEMBER, THIS IS YOUR CHANCE TO BE NICE.

I SAY, I THINK YOU'RE A BIG, DUMB JERK.

YOU'RE RIGHT-- I DIDN'T WANT TO BE YOUR PARTNER EITHER.

I DON'T KNOW WHY ANYBODY WOULD WANT

TO BE PARTNERS WITH A DOPEY FOOTBALL-HEAD LIKE YOU!

YOU'RE ALWAYS WALKING AROUND

WITH YOUR HEAD IN THE CLOUDS.

AT LEAST I'M NOT ALWAYS YELLING AT EVERYBODY AND SCOWLING.

HEY, I ONLY YELL AND SCOWL WHEN I'M HANGING AROUND YOU.

WELL, MAYBE YOU SHOULDN'T HANG AROUND ME, THEN.

ME, HANG AROUND YOU?

THAT'S A LAUGH.

WHY ON EARTH WOULD I EVER WANT

TO HANG AROUND WITH YOU?

OKAY, LOOK, WHY DON'T WE DO THIS?

I'LL TAKE THE EGG HOME TONIGHT

AND DROP IT AT YOUR HOUSE TOMORROW.

YOU BRING IT TO SCHOOL ON MONDAY.

WE DON'T HAVE TO SEE EACH OTHER AT ALL.

FINE.

GIVE ME THE EGG.

UH-OH.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN, "UH-OH"?

DON'T TELL ME YOU LOST THE EGG, HELGA.

I DIDN'T LOSE IT, ARNOLD.

WE LEFT IT ON THE BUS, THAT'S ALL.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN, "WE"?

HEY, WE'RE BOTH RESPONSIBLE FOR IT, AREN'T WE?

YEAH, BUT YOU HAD IT, AND YOU LEFT IT ON THE BUS.

IF YOU HADN'T BEEN YELLING AT ME THE WHOLE TIME

I WOULDN'T HAVE FORGOTTEN IT.

IT'S NO BIG DEAL.

WE'LL JUST GO DOWNTOWN

TO THE MAIN BUS STATION

AND FIND OUR EGG.

WHY ARE YOU DRESSING IT UP?

IT'S JUST AN EGG.

IT'S NOT JUST AN EGG, HAROLD.

IT'S OUR BABY, AND WE ARE ITS PARENTS.

AW, GEE!

HAROLD, YOU'RE NOT TAKING THIS SERIOUSLY.

I DON'T THINK YOU REALLY CARE ABOUT COURTNEY.

PERHAPS YOU SHOULD TAKE COURTNEY

HOME WITH YOU TONIGHT.

THE TWO OF YOU NEED TO BOND

AND YOU'D BETTER TAKE GOOD CARE OF HER.

IF ANYTHING HAPPENS, I SWEAR I'LL...

DON'T WORRY, I WON'T LET NOTHING HAPPEN TO THE STUPID EGG.

Helga: HMPH! GREAT IDEA, ARNOLD.

HOW WOULD I KNOW THEY CLEAN OUT THE BUSES

EVERY FRIDAY NIGHT?

BESIDES, YOU LOST THE EGG.

STOP SAYING THAT.

IT WASN'T MY FAULT.

MAYBE SOMEBODY FOUND OUR EGG AND TOOK IT HOME.

I'VE GOT AN IDEA.

( stomach rumbling )

OH, BOY... I'M HUNGRY.

I GOT TO GET SOMETHING TO EAT.

OH, NO!

"WENT TO THE MARKET, BACK IN AN HOUR, LOVE, MOM."

AN HOUR!

I CAN'T WAIT THAT LONG!

I'LL STARVE.

THERE'S GOT TO BE SOMETHING HERE I CAN EAT!

PLEASE, PLEASE, TELL ME THIS ISN'T HAPPENING.

DON'T WORRY, LITTLE EGG

I'M NOT GOING TO EAT YOU.

I'M NOT GOING TO EAT YOU, OKAY?

( sizzling )

( phone rings )

HELLO?

HOW'S MY LITTLE DARLING THIS MORNING?

OH, I'M FINE.

NOT YOU, HAROLD.

I'M TALKING ABOUT COURTNEY.

COURTNEY... HUH?

UH... OH

COURTNEY'S JUST, UH...

OH, SHE'S FINE.

YEAH, SHE'S GREAT...

JUST, JUST GREAT.

GOOD-- I'M COMING OVER

in one hour to pick her up.

I want to take her shopping.

AU REVOIR.

A FLYER FOR A LOST EGG?

GREAT IDEA.

YOU WANT OUR EGG BACK, DON'T YOU?

( sighs )

BROTHER.

WE'VE BEEN SITTING HERE FOR FOUR HOURS.

FACE IT, YOUR FLYER IDEA STINKS.

AT LEAST I'M TRYING TO FIND THE EGG THAT YOU LOST.

I TOLD YOU TO STOP SAYING THAT

AND YOU'RE NOT TRYING TO FIND THE EGG.

YOU'RE SITTING ON YOUR BUTT

WAITING FOR A PHONE CALL THAT WILL NEVER COME.

( phone rings )

HELLO?

YOU FOUND IT?

THAT'S GREAT-- TOLD YOU.

YEAH, SURE-- WE'LL BRING THE REWARD MONEY.

YOU GOT THE MONEY?

YOU GOT THE EGG?

FIRST THE MONEY, THEN TAKE THE EGG.

THIS ISN'T OUR EGG.

( yells )

NICE TRY, BUDDY.

I KNEW YOUR STUPID PLAN WOULDN'T WORK.

OH, ARNOLD

I'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR YOU.

SOME LADY CALLED... SHE FOUND YOUR EGG.

I MADE SUZIE WRITE DOWN THE ADDRESS.

THANKS, MR. KOKOSHKA.

HEY, WAIT, WHAT ABOUT MY REWARD?

WHAT DID YOU DO, HAROLD?

NOTHING.

HAROLD, THIS IS NOT OUR EGG.

THIS... I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT THIS IS.

WHAT DID YOU DO WITH COURTNEY?

I... I...

OH...

I WAS HUNGRY!

YOU ATE OUR BABY?

( burps )

I CAN'T BELIEVE

WE ACTUALLY GOT IT BACK.

ME, NEITHER.

NOW, HAND IT OVER.

ARE YOU KIDDING?

YOU'RE THE ONE WHO LOST IT

IN THE FIRST PLACE, REMEMBER?

I'M REALLY, REALLY SORRY.

I KNOW IT WAS BAD THAT I ATE OUR FIRST BABY

BUT I WORKED REALLY, REALLY HARD

TO PUT THE PIECES BACK TOGETHER

AND MAKE IT LOOK LIKE OUR COURTNEY.

WELL... IT ISN'T THE SAME

BUT IT IS KIND OF CUTE.

OKAY, HAROLD, I SUPPOSE

WE CAN JUST TAKE CARE OF THIS NEW BABY INSTEAD.

LOOK, ARNOLD, I'M THROUGH MESSING AROUND.

GIVE ME THE STUPID EGG.

NO WAY.

COME ON.

YOU CAN HAVE IT TOMORROW.

UH-OH.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN, "UH-OH"?

DON'T TELL ME YOU LOST THE EGG, ARNOLD.

IT MUST HAVE FALLEN OUT OF MY POCKET.

OH, THAT'S JUST BRILLIANT.

THERE'S NOTHING LEFT TO DO

BUT RETRACE OUR STEPS AND TRY TO FIND IT.

FINE.

OKAY, HERE WE ARE, RIGHT BACK WHERE WE STARTED.

WE'VE BEEN AROUND THE PARK THREE STINKING TIMES

AND DO YOU HAVE THE EGG? NO.

DO I HAVE THE EGG?

NO.

HMM, LET'S SEE...

WHY DON'T EITHER OF US HAVE THE EGG?

OH, THAT'S RIGHT

BECAUSE YOU LOST IT!

ENOUGH, HELGA-- ALL YOU'VE DONE SINCE WE STARTED

IS YELL AND ARGUE.

OH, DON'T PUT THIS ON ME, FOOTBALL-HEAD.

WHEN WE STARTED OUT ON THE BUS

ALL I WAS TRYING TO DO

WAS BE NICE AND GET ALONG WITH YOU.

THAT'S NOT TRUE.

YES, IT IS, BUT YOU DIDN'T EVEN GIVE ME A CHANCE.

YOU JUMPED ALL OVER ME.

YOU SAID, "I'D RATHER WORK

WITH ANYBODY ELSE ON THE PLANET BUT YOU"

AND EVER SINCE THEN, ALL WE'VE DONE IS ARGUE.

YOU STARTED IT, ARNOLD, NOT ME!

WELL, CAN YOU BLAME ME?

I MEAN, MOST OF THE TIME YOU'RE JUST MEAN.

ANYWAY, ARGUING HASN'T GOTTEN US ANYWHERE

AND TO TELL YOU THE TRUTH, I'M JUST SICK OF IT.

I'M WILLING TO APOLOGIZE

IF YOU ARE.

TRUCE?

OKAY, I'M SORRY, TOO.

( crackling sound )

WAIT A MINUTE.

DO YOU HEAR SOMETHING?

OUR EGG!

HELGA, IT'S... IT'S HATCHING.

( chirping )

Arnold: SO AFTER WE FINALLY STOPPED FIGHTING AND ARGUING

WE FOUND OUR EGG, AND IT HATCHED INTO THIS CHICK.

( chirping )

OH, ARNOLD, HELGA

THAT IS JUST THE MOST INSPIRATIONAL STORY

I HAVE EVER HEARD.

YOU TWO HAVE SHOWN US

THAT TEAMWORK AND RESPONSIBILITY CAN INDEED BRING

VERY SPECIAL REWARDS, EVEN MIRACLES.

I'M IN AWE.

Helga: GET A GRIP, SIMMONS.

THE ONLY MIRACLE AROUND HERE IS

THAT I SURVIVED AN ENTIRE WEEKEND

WITH FOOTBALL-HEAD.

AND I SUPPOSE HANGING AROUND WITH YOU

WAS SOME KIND OF TREAT?

OH, PLEASE, ARNOLDO

YOU WOULD HAVE BEEN LOST WITHOUT ME

AND YOU KNOW IT.

IN YOUR DREAMS, HELGA.

[Captioning sponsored by THE U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION

and NICKELODEON]