Original subtitles

████████████████████████████████

Helga: ARNOLD!

( barking )

HEY, ARNOLD!

( glass shatters )

( girl shrieks )

Helga: HEY, ARNOLD!

ARNOLD!

ARNOLD!

ARNOLD!

[Captioning sponsored by THE U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION

and NICKELODEON]

AR-NOLD!

MOVE IT, FOOTBALL HEAD!

Kids: HEY, ARNOLD!

( kids cheering )

Harold: OH, LOOK, ARNOLD'S UP TO BAT.

I'M SO SCARED.

MOVE IN!

( laughing )

LOOK AT YOU, ARNOLD!

SWINGING YOUR BUTT

LIKE YOU'RE SOME KIND OF MICKEY KALINE

OR SOMETHING.

JUST THROW THE BALL, YOU BIG OAF.

YOU COULDN'T HIT A WATERMELON OFF A TABLE, ARNOLD.

JUST THROW IT.

HEY, ARE YOU OKAY?

ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?

CAN YOU HEAR ME?

Gerald: SAY SOMETHING, BIG BOY.

EASY SQUEEZY LEMON PEASY.

MEDIC!

( kids cheering... )

( grunts )

( laughing )

WELL, WELL, WELL.

IT'S ARNOLD

THE HEAT-SEEKING SMART BOMB.

COME ON, HAROLD.

SUCK IT UP AND PITCH IT!

( boy screaming )

( crashing )

I'M OKAY.

WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON, FOOTBALL HEAD?

AT THIS RATE, YOU'RE GOING TO BEAN EVERYONE.

( kids cheering... )

YOU'RE UP, SCUD.

OKAY, OKAY, ARNOLD THE ASSASSIN IS UP TO BAT.

HEADS UP, YOU GUYS!

Harold: I GOT IT, I GOT IT!

I GOT IT, I GOT IT!

MAN, YOU'RE A FREAK OF NATURE, FOOTBALL HEAD.

LOOK AT THE BRIGHT SIDE, ARNOLD

YOU HIT THE BALL

EVERY TIME YOU COME UP TO BAT.

BUT I ALSO HIT A KID EVERY TIME

I COME UP TO BAT.

SO, YOU'RE CURRENTLY BATTING A THOUSAND.

THIS FRIDAY, WE'RE PLAYING WOLFGANG'S TEAM.

THE WAY YOU HIT, WE CAN'T LOSE.

BUT TODAY I HURT HALF THE TEAM.

NO ONE GOT HURT THAT BAD.

GOOD NEWS-- THE DOCTOR SAYS

I'LL HAVE MY FULL MEMORY BACK IN A FEW WEEKS.

OH, WHAT A PRETTY SIGN.

Both: EUGENE, THAT'S A STOP SIGN!

( Eugene yelling )

Eugene: I'M OKAY.

( sighing )

( yelling, cheering )

Grandpa: WELL, LOOK AT THEM DOWN THERE, ARNOLD.

ALL YOUR FRIENDS PLAYING BASEBALL

THE GREAT AMERICAN PASTIME.

WHICHA... HOO-- WAIT A MINUTE.

HOW COME YOU AREN'T DOWN THERE PLAYING WITH THEM?

I'M TOO DANGEROUS, GRANDPA.

ARE YOU STILL WORRIED ABOUT THAT?

OH, COME ON, SO YOU KNOCKED OVER SOME OF YOUR FRIENDS.

WELL, GOOD FOR YOU.

YOU'RE NOT DANGEROUS, YOU'RE JUST A GOOD SHOT.

EVERY TIME I HIT THE BALL, I HURT SOMEBODY.

OH, EVERY TIME!

THAT'S MATHEMATICALLY IMPOSSIBLE.

SOONER OR LATER YOU'LL HAVE TO MISS SOMEBODY

AND THEN YOU'LL BE CURED.

COME ON, I'LL PROVE IT.

LET'S SEE WHAT YOU'RE MADE OF.

DON'T HOLD BACK, GIVE ME YOUR BEST!

OH, LITTLE MR. TY COBB, JR., EH?

YOU STINK! YOU COULDN'T HIT THE STATUE OF LIBERTY

IF YOU WERE TEN FEET AWAY FROM IT.

UM, GRANDPA, JUST PITCH THE BALL.

OH, ALL RIGHT, FINE, WE'LL PLAY BY YOUR RULES.

( yells )

OW! OH!

WHAT DID YOU DO THAT FOR?

EVERY TIME I HIT THE BALL, I HURT SOMEBODY.

WELL, STOP IT.

MAYBE WE SHOULD STOP.

OH, NONSENSE.

WE'LL JUST HAVE TO KEEP TRYING.

I GOT ANOTHER LEG.

( banging, glass breaking )

Man: OW! THAT BASEBALL HIT ME RIGHT IN THE HEAD!

ONE MORE TRY, SHORT MAN.

THIS TIME YOU'LL MISS FOR SURE.

( squeals )

( oinking... )

YEP, ARNOLD, NO QUESTION ABOUT IT:

YOU GOT DANGEROUS LUMBER.

IN YOUR HANDS, THAT BAT IS A WEAPON OF MASS DESTRUCTION.

OH, I'D QUIT BASEBALL IF I WERE YOU.

Mr. Potts: QUIT BASEBALL?!

WE'RE TALKING ABOUT THE GREAT AMERICAN PASTIME!

MR. POTTS, I CAN'T PRACTICE WITHOUT HURTING SOMEONE.

ARE YOU KIDDING?!

OF COURSE THERE IS!

Mr. Potts: OKAY, ARNOLD

THIS WILL GIVE YOU CONFIDENCE.

NOTHING CAN GO WRONG AND NO ONE CAN GET HURT.

( people yelling... )

Arnold: THAT'S IT!

I QUIT! I'M SICK OF HURTING PEOPLE.

I DON'T CARE HOW MUCH I LOVE BASEBALL.

I CAN'T BAT ANYMORE.

MAYBE EVER.

YOU WHAT?!

YOU CAN'T JUST QUIT NOW.

WE NEED YOU FOR FRIDAY'S GAME.

THE WAY YOU'RE HITTING...

THE WAY I'M HITTING IS THE PROBLEM.

THE WAY YOU'RE HITTING OUR TROUBLES WOULD BE OVER.

DON'T WUSS OUT ON US.

COME ON, YOU GOT TO PLAY!

WE NEED YOU!

I TOLD YOU, I CAN'T.

IF IT ISN'T THE PATHETIC LITTLE FOURTH-GRADE TEAM.

YOU ALL GOING TO SHOW UP FOR FRIDAY'S BEATING

OR ARE YOU GOING TO WUSS OUT?

OH, NO, EVERYBODY'S GOING TO SHOW UP.

RIGHT, YOU GUYS?

ALL RIGHT, THEN.

SEE YOU FRIDAY... LOSERS.

( chuckling )

( ringing )

Gerald: HOW ABOUT I LEAD OFF, THEN SID

STINKY, NADINE, HAROLD...

YEAH, GREAT PLAN, GERALDO.

IT'S LIKE YOU'RE REARRANGING DECK CHAIRS ON THE TITANIC.

COME ON, WE DON'T STAND A CHANCE.

SO, FRIDAY AT LAST, HUH, LOSERS?

YOU READY THERE WITH YOUR LITTLE STRATEGY?

WE'RE READY FOR YOU, BUBBA.

WE'VE GOT A PLAN.

WHATEVER. SEE YOU AT 7:00 AT THE VACANT LOT.

DON'T YOU MEAN, "GERALD FIELD"?

RIGHT, THE VACANT LOT.

WELL, GOOD LUCK TONIGHT, YOU GUYS.

DON'T YOU HAVE SOME NON-BASEBALL ACTIVITY PLANNED

FOR THIS AFTERNOON?

I BETTER BE GOING.

Hi, folks, Mickey Kaline here.

You probably remember being a big fan of mine

when I was playing ball.

Well, I remember being a big fan of ballpark hot dogs.

SO, AFTER I RETIRED I DECIDED TO OPEN THIS RESTAURANT:

MICKEY'S ALL-NATURAL CASINGS DOG POUND.

SO, COME ON DOWN.

THAT'S MICKEY'S ALL-NATURAL CASINGS DOG POUND.

RIGHT ACROSS THE STREET FROM PHIL'S TV.

YOU LOOK A LITTLE DOWN IN THE DUMPS.

YOU OKAY?

WELL, I'VE GOT THIS PROBLEM, MICKEY.

IS IT THE HOT DOG?

NO.

IT'S NOT THE HOT DOG!

( applause )

I'VE GOT A BIG GAME TONIGHT AT 7:00

IN THE VACANT LOT BY MY HOUSE.

GERALD FIELD?

RIGHT. THEY REALLY NEED ME

BECAUSE WE'RE AGAINST THIS MEAN FIFTH-GRADER.

WOLFGANG?

YEAH. AND THE THING IS

WHENEVER I GO UP TO BAT, I GET A HIT

BUT EVERY TIME I GET A HIT THE BALL HITS SOMEBODY.

DANGEROUS LUMBER...

YOU GOT DANGEROUS LUMBER, KID.

WHAT SHOULD I DO?

GRAB ANOTHER HOT DOG AND LISTEN UP.

WHEN I WAS STARTING OUT, THERE WAS THIS PLAYER, JOHNNY BANKS.

WE CALLED HIM "TARGET PRACTICE" BECAUSE HE HAD DANGEROUS LUMBER.

ONE SEASON, PLAYING FIRST BASE AGAINST HIM

HE HIT MY ELBOW, BOTH KNEES, MY WRIST

AND SOMETHING CALLED A "TIBULA," WHATEVER THAT IS.

I ASKED HIM TO STOP.

IT MUST HAVE BEEN HARD FOR JOHNNY TO STEP UP TO BAT

BUT HE FACED HIS FEARS.

NEXT TIME HE GETS UP, HITS IT OUT OF THE PARK.

FACE YOUR FEARS.

YOU GOT TO STAND UP TO THAT PLATE

SWING, NO MATTER WHAT, 'CAUSE IF YOU DON'T

YOU COULD END UP A LOSER

NEVER LIVE UP TO YOUR TRUE POTENTIAL

BUT IF YOU STICK TO IT, FACE YOUR FEARS

YOU COULD END UP A BIG SUCCESS, LIKE ME.

MR. KALINE, THE TOILET'S BACKED UP!

AGAIN?!

( flushing )

( kids cheering, jeering )

STRIKE THREE!

( grunts )

STRIKE THREE!

( grunts )

TWO OUT, ONE TO GO, BOTTOM OF THE NINTH.

SAY YOUR PRAYERS, YOU FOURTH-GRADERS.

THAT'S ABOUT IT.

IT'S ALL OVER BUT THE CRYING.

All: OOH...!

WHAT'S THE SCORE?

TEN TO SEVEN.

LAST INNING.

BASES LOADED; TWO OUT.

GIVE ME A BAT.

THANKS, GRANDPA.

WELL, IF IT ISN'T THE KID

WITH THE WEIRD-SHAPED HEAD.

HOW NICE OF YOU TO JOIN US.

JUST PITCH THE BALL.

( cheering... )

STRIKE ONE!

All: AW...!

STRIKE TWO.

WHAT?

( shouting )

COME ON, ARNOLD, YOU GOT TO SWING.

SWING!

Both: SWING! SWING!

IT'S GOING, GOING, THAT BABY'S GONE!

All: YAY!

WOW, ARE YOU OKAY, MISTER?

EASY SQUEEZY LEMON PEASY.

( all cheering )

Grandpa: HEY, HEY, THAT'S MY GRANDSON!

MR. TY COBB JUNIOR.

Kids: ARNOLD, ARNOLD, ARNOLD!

OH, MY GOSH!

IT'S MICKEY KALINE!

HEY, KID.

HEY, MICKEY.

TAKE MY ADVICE?

I SURE DID.

ANY LUCK?

YEAH, I'M CURED.

I HIT THE BALL OUT OF THE PARK.

I KNOW, I, UH... I CAUGHT IT.

IT'S THE HOME RUN BALL YOU HIT TODAY.

THOUGHT YOU MIGHT WANT IT.

THANKS, MICKEY.

WELL, UH... I BETTER GET BACK

TO THE DOG POUND.

HEY, MICKEY?

YEAH, KID?

WANT TO HEAR HOW I WON?

SURE, KID.

I WAS PLENTY SCARED WHEN I STEPPED UP.

WOLFGANG WAS PITCHING LIKE A MAN ON FIRE.

BUT I REMEMBERED WHAT YOU TOLD ME ABOUT MY FEARS

SO, I JUST PLANTED MY FEET AND DUG IN.

Man: ♪ YIPPIE-TI-YI-YO ♪

♪ GET ALONG, LITTLE DOGIES ♪

♪ IT'S YOUR MISFORTUNE ♪

♪ AND NONE OF MY OWN ♪

( shower water running )

♪ AND NONE OF MY OWN ♪

( shower water running )

♪ YIPPIE-TI-YI-YO ♪

( water stops )

♪ GET ALONG, LITTLE DOGIE ♪

♪ KNOW THAT WYOMING ♪

♪ WILL BE YOUR NEW HOME. ♪

( steam hissing )

HELLO. YES!

MR. HYUNH, WAS THAT YOU SINGING?

YES. I LOVE TO SING.

B-B-BUT THAT... WAS INCREDIBLE!

YOU SOUNDED LIKE A PROFESSIONAL.

NO. I JUST SING FOR FUN.

WELL, I HAVE TO GO TOWEL MYSELF.

♪ YOU KNOW THAT WYOMING ♪

♪ WILL BE YOUR NEW HOME. ♪

Gerald: I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!

MR. HYUNH?

I KNOW-- WHEN HE TALKS

YOU CAN BARELY UNDERSTAND HIM.

WHEN HE SINGS...

WHEN HE SINGS, HE HAS

THE MOST BEAUTIFUL, VELVETY

COUNTRY AND WESTERN SINGING VOICE

THESE EARS HAVE EVER HEARD.

HE SHOULD BE ON THE RADIO.

ARNOLD, ARE YOU THINKING

WHAT I'M THINKING?

YEAH. IF MR. HYUNH

MAKES A COUNTRY-WESTERN RECORD, AND IT'S A HIT

HE COULD QUIT HIS JOB, MOVE OUT OF THE...

NO!

IF MR. HYUNH MAKES A COUNTRY RECORD

WE COULD BE HIS MANAGERS.

I MEAN, IT WAS OUR IDEA IN THE FIRST PLACE.

MR. HYUNH, COUNTRY AND WESTERN STAR.

FIRST, WE RECORD A C.D.

THEN WE GET EVERY RADIO STATION IN THE COUNTRY TO PLAY IT.

HE'LL SELL OUT CONCERTS ALL OVER TOWN

UNTIL FINALLY

WE BOOK THE BIG ONE:

THE GREAT OLE OPRY.

NATURALLY, AS HIS MANAGERS

WE'LL GET THE CUSTOMARY TEN PERCENT.

SOUNDS GOOD TO ME.

BUT SHOULDN'T WE ASK HIM FIRST?

♪ ...CAN TEMPT ME WITH THE PALACES OF KINGS ♪

♪ I'D GIVE 'EM BACK ♪

♪ IN A BIG OLD SACK ♪

♪ AND KEEP THE SIMPLE THINGS. ♪

WAIT A MINUTE.

YOU MEAN, YOU SING LIKE AN ANGEL

AND YOU WRITE YOUR OWN MUSIC?

YES, I JUST DO IT TO RELAX.

GERALD AND I WERE THINKING...

...YOU SHOULD BE

A COUNTRY-WESTERN SINGER.

I'M TALKING THE REAL DEAL--

MAKING C.D.s, PLAYING CONCERTS

SELLOUT CROWDS

RICH AND FAMOUS.

RICH AND FAMOUS?

THAT IS VERY FUNNY.

I DON'T WANT TO BE FAMOUS.

BUT IF YOU WERE RICH

YOU COULD LIVE ANYWHERE.

ARNOLD, GERALD, YOU HAVE TO UNDERSTAND

I LIKE MY JOB AT THE RESTAURANT.

I LIKE WHERE I LIVE.

IT MAY BE SIMPLE

BUT I THINK THE SIMPLE THINGS

ARE THE BEST THING.

THINK ABOUT IT.

THAT AMAZING VOICE OF YOURS

BELONGS ON RADIOS AND TV.

I DON'T THINK SO.

MY FRIENDS AND FAMILY ENJOY MY PLAYING.

THAT'S ENOUGH.

HOW ABOUT IF WE MADE A C.D.

SO YOUR FRIENDS AND FAMILY

CAN ENJOY YOU ALL THE TIME?

MMM... A C.D.?

THAT MIGHT BE FUN!

Man: WAIT A MINUTE

HE WANTS TO RECORD A COUNTRY-WESTERN SONG?

WELL... RIGHT THIS WAY, PARTNER.

( playing country tune )

( band stops )

( microphone feedback )

IT'S YOUR MONEY, TEX.

LET'S LAY ONE DOWN.

( strumming intro )

♪ YOU CAN OFFER ME A DIAMOND-PLATED PEARL ♪

♪ YOU CAN SEND ME ALL THE RICHES IN THE WORLD ♪

♪ YOU CAN TEMPT ME... ♪

WELL, BURN MY HOUSE AND STEAL MY CAR!

I JUST HEARD A BRAND-NEW COUNTRY-WESTERN STAR.

Both: YES!

THAT WAS FUN.

I-I-I WAS THINKING

WHAT IF WE TRY TO GET YOUR SONG

PLAYED ON THE RADIO?

OH, NO RADIO STATION WOULD

WANT TO PLAY MY SONG.

ENJOY THE C.D. BYE.

HE NEVER SAID DON'T TRY TO GET IT ON THE RADIO, DID HE?

NO, BUT...

COME ON!

♪ It's crystal clear I'll stay right here ♪

♪ and keep the simple things. ♪

GEE, THAT WAS GREAT, YOU GUYS.

I CAN'T PLAY IT ON THE RADIO, THOUGH.

MY HANDS ARE TIED BY THE SYSTEM.

( beeping )

HUH-- GOT TO GO LIVE.

( Southern drawl ): HERE'S BILLY BOB BLANCHIT

WITH HIS HIT, "I DONE WENT AND LOST MY DOG AGAIN."

( normal voice ): I HAVE TO STICK TO A RIGID PLAY LIST

AND... WHOOP!

HA, I KNOW IT'S AROUND HERE SOMEWHERE.

YOU KNOW, WE JUST CHANGED OVER FROM A JAZZ FORMAT LAST WEEK

AND... OH, HERE IT IS.

LITTLE DUSTY, THOUGH.

GEE, THAT DOESN'T SOUND LIKE BILLY BOB.

YOU GUYS DIDN'T TOUCH ANY BUTTONS?

( beeping )

( deep voice, drawl ): NASHVILLE NED SHOW.

YOU LIKE THE SONG?

NASHVILLE NED.

THE SONG? IT'S, UH, IT'S CALLED, UH...

"THE SIMPLE THINGS."

"THE SIMPLE THINGS."

YEAH, SURE. OF COURSE I'M GOING TO PLAY IT AGAIN.

♪ I've got the simple things ♪

♪ I've got the rain in spring ♪

♪ Got spicy chicken wings ♪

♪ and French-fried onion rings ♪

♪ You can line me up a mile of limousines ♪

♪ For me it don't add up to a hill of beans ♪

♪ I got no hankering for grabbing your brass ring ♪

♪ It's crystal clear I'll stay right here ♪

♪ and keep the simple things. ♪

Teen boy: UH, EXCUSE ME.

AREN'T YOU THAT MR. HYUNH DUDE?

THE COUNTRY SINGER?

YES.

DUDE, CAN I HAVE YOUR AUTOGRAPH?

( clamoring )

( all yelling )

Woman: LOOK, LOOK! IT'S MR. HYUNH!

( people whistling, horns honking )

HEY, MR. HYUNH!

WE GOT MR. HYUNH HERE!

HEY, ELVIS

CAN I TALK TO YOU FOR A MINUTE?

I'M VERY TIRED, OSKAR.

OKAY, THAT'S GOOD.

LISTEN, I WAS THINKING

MAYBE WE COULD WRITE SONGS TOGETHER.

( sighs )

( phone ringing )

G & A MANAGEMENT.

YES, WE REPRESENT HIM.

YOU WANT HIM FOR THE COUNTY FAIR?

LET ME CHECK OUR SCHEDULE.

HOW'S A WEEK FROM FRIDAY?

I THINK I HAVE TO WORK AT THE RESTAURANT.

GET CARLOS TO COVER FOR YOU.

THIS IS BIG, MAN.

THIS IS THE COUNTY FAIR.

OKAY.

( yelping, cheering )

HEY, MR. HYUNH

YOU WERE GREAT.

YOU WERE GREAT TONIGHT, MR. H.

BUT I THINK YOU NEED TO SMILE

AND MOVE AROUND A LITTLE BIT MORE

IN THE INTRO TO SONG NUMBER FIVE.

AH... YES, OKAY.

MR. HYUNH, PLEASURE TO MEET YOU.

I'M TRAVIS RANDALL.

THE TRAVIS RANDALL?

THE EMCEE ON THE GREAT OLE OPRY SHOW?

THAT'S ME. MR. HYUNH, I'VE BEEN

LISTENING TO YOU ON THE RADIO

AND I HEARD YOU HERE TODAY

AND I MUST TELL YOU, I LIKE WHAT I HEAR.

OH... THANK YOU.

I'VE COME TO ASK YOU TO JOIN US

AT THE GREAT OLE OPRY SHOW SUNDAY NIGHT TO PERFORM ONSTAGE.

ON NATIONAL TV?

YES, SIR.

OH... I LOVE THAT SHOW!

I WATCH IT EVERY SUNDAY.

BUT YOU WANT ME TO PLAY THERE?

ABSOLUTELY, MY FRIEND.

YOU'RE THE REAL DEAL.

YOU COULD GO PLACES

WITH THAT VOICE OF YOURS.

AND BELIEVE ME, I KNOW MY SINGERS.

OH... THANK YOU.

YOU'LL COME SUNDAY NIGHT?

YES! OH, HE'LL BE THERE SUNDAY.

IT WOULD BE A... A GREAT HONOR.

IF THINGS GO WELL

YOU COULD COME ON THE ROAD WITH THE OPRY TOURING SHOW.

WE PLAY 30 CITIES IN TWO MONTHS.

BYE, NOW.

30 CITIES IN TWO MONTHS?

THAT'S A DIFFERENT CITY EVERY TWO DAYS.

Gerald: OH, THIS IS THE BIG TIME, MR. H., THE BIG TIME.

Grandpa: NO, THIS IS NOT MR. HYUNH'S NUMBER

SO STOP CALLING IT!

Mr. Hyunh: OH, ARNOLD

EVERYTHING IS HAPPENING SO FAST.

A FEW WEEKS AGO, I WAS A SIMPLE, HAPPY MAN

WITH A GOOD JOB IN THE RESTAURANT

NOW, ALL OF SUDDEN

I AM A RHINESTONE COWBOY.

IT'S ALL SO COMPLICATED.

YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO THIS.

BUT, ARNOLD, EVERYONE IS COUNTING ON ME.

YOU AND GERALD--

AND NOW MR. RANDALL

WANT ME TO GO ON TOUR.

YEAH, BUT THE ONLY THING

THAT REALLY MATTERS

IS WHAT YOU WANT TO DO.

IT'S YOUR LIFE, MR. HYUNH.

YES, MY LIFE.

I GUESS I HAVE A DECISION TO MAKE.

( crowd cheering within )

Gerald: CAN YOU HEAR THAT CROWD?

THIS WILL BE THE GREATEST NIGHT OF OUR LIVES, MR. HYUNH

AND TOMORROW

WE HIT THE ROAD

FOR THE 30-CITY COUNTRY-WESTERN TOUR!

UH, WE NEED YOU ONSTAGE IN TWO MINUTES, MR. HOON.

DID YOU MAKE A DECISION?

YES.

YOU'RE SURE IT'S THE RIGHT ONE?

I AM SURE.

IT'S TIME TO FACE THE MUSIC.

( band playing, crowd restless )

YOU KNOW, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN

EVERY ONCE IN AWHILE IN MY LINE OF WORK

I HEAR A VOICE THAT TRULY STANDS OUT, MOVES ME.

UNFORTUNATELY, THAT'S NOT THE CASE TONIGHT.

( laughter )

JUST PULLING YOUR LEG.

TONIGHT'S FEATURED NEW ARTIST HAS SUCH A VOICE.

THIS IS MR. HYUNH'S FIRST TIME SINGING HERE, BUT I BET A BUNDLE

IT WON'T BE HIS LAST.

LET'S ALL GIVE A WARM OLE OPRY WELCOME

TO MR. HYUNH!

( cheering and applause )

( audience quiets down )

BEFORE I BEGIN, I HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY.

IT IS HONOR TO BE HERE.

SO 10% OF $5,200...

I LOVE COUNTRY MUSIC, I LOVE WRITING SONGS

BUT I AM A SIMPLE MAN.

I HAVE A JOB IN A RESTAURANT, AND I LIKE IT.

SOME DAY, I HOPE TO BE A GREAT CHEF.

I DON'T WANT TO BE FAMOUS.

UH, GERALD...

WAIT, I'M FIGURING OUT HOW MUCH MONEY WE'LL MAKE.

THIS IS MY FIRST TIME SINGING AT THE OPRY.

GERALD.

WHAT?!

IT WILL ALSO BE MY LAST TIME.

SO NOW, I WILL

SING MY SONG ONSTAGE

FOR THE LAST TIME.

( audience gasps, then applauds )

♪ YOU CAN OFFER ME A DIAMOND-PLATED PEARL ♪

♪ YOU CAN SEND ME ALL THE RICHES IN THE WORLD ♪

YEE!

♪ YOU CAN TEMPT ME

♪ WITH THE PALACES OF KINGS ♪

♪ I'D GIVE 'EM BACK IN A BIG OLD SACK ♪

♪ AND KEEP THE SIMPLE THINGS ♪

♪ I'VE GOT THE SIMPLE THINGS ♪

♪ I'VE GOT THE RAIN IN SPRING ♪

♪ GOT SPICY CHICKEN WINGS ♪

♪ AND FRENCH-FRIED ONION RINGS ♪

♪ YOU CAN LINE ME UP A MILE OF LIMOUSINES ♪

♪ FOR ME IT DON'T ADD UP TO A HILL OF BEANS ♪

[Captioning sponsored by THE U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION

♪ I GOT NO HANKERING FOR GRABBING YOUR BRASS RING ♪

and NICKELODEON]

♪ I GOT NO HANKERING FOR GRABBING YOUR BRASS RING ♪

and NICKELODEON]

♪ IT'S CRYSTAL CLEAR I'LL STAY RIGHT HERE ♪

♪ AND KEEP THE SIMPLE THINGS ♪

♪ I'VE GOT THE SUMMER BREEZE ♪

♪ GOT 16 CANS OF PEAS ♪

♪ A TWO-SPEED WINDOW FAN ♪

♪ WHEN IT'S 93 DEGREES ♪

♪ SO FORGIVE ME FOR NOT ♪

♪ GRABBING YOUR BRASS RING ♪

♪ IT'S CRYSTAL CLEAR ♪

♪ I'LL STAY RIGHT HERE ♪

♪ AND KEEP THE SIMPLE THINGS ♪

♪ IT'S CRYSTAL CLEAR I'LL STAY RIGHT HERE ♪

♪ AND KEEP THE SIMPLE THINGS. ♪